VENDOR WRITING

The Secret To A Loving Lasting Marriage

BY NORMA B.

At a time when marriage is not as revered and respected as it once was, and “till death do us part” is merely a catch-phrase with no real and lasting meaning, I know two people who take those words seriously, and are living up to them each and every day.

In fact, on Aug. 14, 2021, Larry and Dee celebrated a momentous event, their 50th wedding anniversary! (I interviewed them separately to get a more complete picture of what a lasting loving marriage is like from both a male and female perspective.)

Their relationship began when they were both students at Washington High School in Washington, Iowa, where they became high-school sweethearts.

Their first date was pretty typical, a trip to the movies at Washington State Theatre (the oldest of its kind operating since May 14, 1897-according to the Guinness Book of World Records).

When asked how he knew Dee was the one Larry said, “It was just a really great relationship, and I couldn’t see anyone else as my lifelong mate.” He went on to say, “she was pretty, and came from a humble background. She was solid, and I just knew she would always be there for me.”

And to her credit, she has been.

Dee simply said, “We were young and stupid and thought we knew everything, but I have to say, I knew almost immediately, within the first couple of months we would be together.”

When asked to describe their partners’ best qualities Larry says it’s Dee’s love and devotion to God and to him that she’s shown over the years that he finds most endearing.

As for Dee she says, “It’s a combination of Larry’s patience, mercy and kindness that draws me close to him.”

In case you’re wondering, I asked each of them about their mate's most irritating qualities after giving it a considerable amount of thought Larry said, “I honestly can’t think of any.” (Larry ALWAYS looks for the good in people.)

When I asked Dee if Larry had any irritating qualities she said, “of course, but I don’t want to say anything negative," proving she is a classy lady!

Perhaps we could ALL take a lesson from that and not say anything negative about our mate to those outside the relationship even when invited to do so. Just a thought....

I inquired about the most difficult things they’d been through as a couple (just in case some of you thought they’ve always had it easy). Larry noted a few things. Physically his first heart attack in 1999, followed by his heart and kidney transplant in January 2021, from which I’m happy to say he is recovering nicely, though I do miss his regular visits to my corner.

Mentally he was quick to mention that it was separation from Dee — his helper, and partner — relatively early in their marriage for three weeks due to work. Thankfully she was able to join him for the last three weeks of the job in Stockholm, Sweden. How cool is that? Up until that time, they’d only been apart for up to a week at a time.

Dee mentioned the loss of their parents, her losing a sibling, and of course, Larry’s relatively recent transplants.

So how did their marriage survive the various struggles that came along through the years?

They dealt with things as they occurred, moment by moment, always relying heavily on their faith in Jesus Christ, keeping God first in the home.

As for the secret to their long-lasting relationship, Larry says, “Commitment is vital.” He also stressed the importance of extending grace to your partner. “Otherwise,” he says, “ your marriage is doomed.”

Again, each one highlighted the importance of keeping God front and center in the home and in their lives.

Any pitfalls to avoid? Larry says, “Never let the little things get blown out of proportion. Be ready/willing to reconcile with your mate. Do not let the sun set on you in anger.” (A Biblical principle found in Ephesians 4:26.)

“Anger," he says, “can lead to harboring resentment; rather than unifying, it divides.”

They were both quick to note that there is no room for selfishness in a marriage as well as the importance of forgiveness.

When asked if they had any additional advice for those considering marriage Dee said, “look to the parents of your significant other because that’s who they will eventually become.”

And for those who are already married? Larry said, “Don’t make judgements based on what you think you know, instead walk a mile in you mate’s shoes. Be open and honest with your spouse.”

Yet again they both highlighted the importance of Christ having to be the center and foundation of a loving home and further stressed the importance of forgiveness.

Dee continued stating that we should “expect no more from our mate than we do from ourselves.”

I know to some this may come across as rambling, of little or no value, but there’s no denying it has DEFINITELY worked for them over the years.

Who knows, if you give it a chance maybe it could work for you too!