The International - February 2023

Page 24

FEBRUARY 2023 - WWW.THE-INTL.COM the international ISSN 2596-5220 LOVE AND PASTA IN DENMARK! FRANCESCA AND FANNAR SHARE THEIR FOOD JOURNEY. THE FASHION LOVE LANGUAGE STICKY TOFFEE PUDDING CRACKING THE DANISH COCONUT 6 TIPS TO BE MINDFULLY IN LOVE FEBRUARY 2023 - WWW.THE-INTL.COM

I CAN'T HELP FALLING IN LOVE… WITH MY ADOPTIVE COUNTRY.

MOVING TO A NEW COUNTRY IS EXCITING. IT'S A CHANCE TO START FRESH, MAKE NEW FRIENDS AND TRY NEW THINGS. I SHARE FOUR THINGS YOU NEED TO BE PREPARED FOR BEFORE YOU MOVE.

MEET THE TEAM

EDITOR & FOUNDER

Lyndsay Jensen - lyndsay@the-intl.com

MANAGING DIRECTOR & PARTNER

Kenneth Macalpine - kenneth@the-intl.com

CONSULTING EDITOR

Conrad Egbert

GRAPHIC DESIGN

The International

WRITERS TEAM

YOU NEED TO adapt to a new culture and accept that there will always be differences between the customs, values and beliefs of your partner's country versus what you are used to at home.

YFor many people moving abroad is scary because it means leaving familiar comforts behind, friends and family, your job and being able to speak the language fluently without having an accent.

1. THE CO-DEPENDENCY TRAP

Whether you're in a new relationship or have been together for a while, moving to your partner's country, it can be easy to lose yourself. You may find yourself doing things that don't reflect who you are and make no sense outside your relationship. Be true to yourself and remember who you are.

A strong sense of self is essential to building and maintaining a healthy relationship, especially abroad.

Finding your purpose outside of the relationship is critical. For some people, it might be finding their dream job abroad, while for others, it could be developing a new passion or raising a family.

Whatever it is, just make sure to find that thing that makes you happy.

2. NETWORK, NETWORK, NETWORK

Finding your tribe/family of friends is essential if you are going to live abroad. It's not just a great way to make new friends and have fun, but it can also be an invaluable source of support during your time abroad.

Your social life will be necessary for many reasons:

 People who share your interests.

 Being part of a support group that checks in on each other and how things are going from time to time and gives advice when needed.

 Friends who can meet up with each other whenever possible and have fun together, so there is always something exciting happening!

3. DON'T LOSE YOURSELF!

It's crucial to maintain your own identity. You can still love

"THERE'S NO DOUBT THAT MOVING TO DENMARK WAS ONE OF THE BEST DECISIONS MY FAMILY AND I MADE. AND WHILE IT WASN'T ALWAYS EASY OR FUN, SOMETHING ABOUT BEING THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY FROM "HOME" IS EXCITING AND CHALLENGING."

someone, but that doesn't mean you have to lose yourself. You are still an individual with your own interests, friendships and hobbies.

Find your way back into a relationship with yourself through the things that make you feel good about yourself, the people who want to see you happy, and the things that make you feel relaxed and nourished.

4. DO THINGS FOR YOU

 Remember, you are doing it for yourself.

 You are doing it for your future.

 You are doing it for your happiness.

TAKE THE PLUNGE

There's no doubt that moving to Denmark was one of the best decisions my family and I made. And while it wasn't always easy or fun, something about being thousands of miles away from "home" is exciting and challenging.

In an ideal world (the one where we all have unlimited budgets), we would all be able to sustain our current lifestyles when we move abroad without sacrificing anything at all in terms of career or social life - but as any expat knows, this isn't always how things work out most of the time.

That's why it's vital that before you commit yourself to move, you're honest about what kind of sacrifices are involved and whether they're worth making to pursue your goals.

Love,

Ophelia Wu; Vanessa C Petersen; Alexandra Beck; Mariano Davies; Monika Pedersen; Sara R. Newell; Michaela Medvedova; Shani Bishop; Natasha Liviero; Heather Storgaard; Lasse Frimand Jensen; Jane Elgård Petersen; Antesa Jensen; Luke Hannon

Events

Lyndsay Jensen - lyndsay@the-intl.com

SOCIAL MEDIA TEAM

Head of SoMe

Shivangi Singh - shivangi@the-intl.com

SoMe Ambassadors

Neelam Gahlaut; Michaela Medvedova; Aina Masood; Ane-Sophie Custura; Terumi Mascarenhas; Leslie Noygues; Shelly Pandey; Shivangi Singh; Ritika Jain; Pavlos Tsiakoumis; Sakib Akhter; Rashmi Jadhav; Gemma La Rocca; Isabel Pereira Lima

SALES

sales@the-intl.com

The International is published online 12 times a year. This issue was published on 9 February, 2023.

Notice: The publishers regret that they cannot accept any liability for error or omissions contained in this publication. The opinions and views presented need not necessarily reflect those of the publishers. Readers are advised to seek special counsel before acting on any information contained herein. All rights reserved. No part of this publication or contents thereof may be reproduced, stored or transmitted in any form without written permission from the publishers. Published by and © 2021 The International ApS. Registered in Denmark / CVR Number: 39118181

2 FEBRUARY 2023 - WWW.THE-INTL.COM

FEBRUARY EVENTS AROUND DENMARK

COPENHAGEN

10 FEBRUARY

DISCO ON ICE

Disco on ice is a festive concept for people of all ages who enjoy skating. So come and give it your all as we turn up the music and the ice rink transforms into an actual disco ball.

Festive evenings, with good laughs and an opportunity to show off your best skating moves. Enjoy the view over the Copenhagen harbour, indulge in delicacies from the various food stalls and quench your thirst with cold and hot drinks from the bar.

We crank up the good music every Friday with a new theme each time. So you can choose which Friday you want to come by and dance with us on ice.

Practicalities:

You are welcome to bring your skates to the rink or rent a pair from us.

Access with your own skates costs 20 DKK. An hour's skate rental, including access to the rink, costs 75 DKK.

FOR MORE INFO: HTTPS://FB.ME/E/3Q1WFAJ69

10 FEBRUARY

SENSUAL FRIDAYS AT KEDELHALLEN

Join us every Friday for the Sensual Friday social dancing where Salsa lovers meet!

Never danced Salsa before? Then join the intro class for beginners By Salsa Libre Dance Company and guest teacher.

Programme:

20:30 - Doors open.

21:00-21:40 – Salsa intro class for beginners. Sign-up is not required. Join us with or without a dance partner.

21:40-01:30

MAIN FLOOR: Social dancing with Salsa, Mambo & Bachata, and all styles.

KIZZ LOUNGE: Kizomba & Urban Kiz lounge by the bar.

Entrance fee: 60 DKK

The price includes entrance, an intro class in Bachata and social dancing.

Location: Kedelhallen, Nyelandsvej 75A, 2000 Frederiksberg.

Nearest Metro station: Fasanvej.

For info regarding our dance classes and events, please visit: www.salsalibre.dk

FOR MORE INFO: HTTPS://FB.ME/E/2PMXSLOKR

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11 FEBRUARY ESO DANCE NORDIC LATIN BALL

Get ready for the GRAND Latin event in Aarhus!

Two days full of dancing, colour, entertainment, vibes, energy and, of course, the most beautiful dance shoes!

Experience Salsa, Bachata and Kizomba workshops - a professional dance sport competition AND a huge Latin party all in the SAME VENUE!

- 20+ hours of workshops with big international artists.

- Huge Latin party with shows, animations and dancing with the artists.

- Salsa, Bachata, Kizomba, Semba, Reggaeton and Afrobeat.

- International Latin and Standard Competition.

- World-class dance sports shows.

- INSANE venue with the longest bar in Aarhus.

Programme:

Saturday:

15:45-16:15 - Doors open

16:15-18:30 - Advanced workshops and mini social

18:30-20:00 - Dinner break

20:00-21:00 - Intermediate workshop and mini social

21:00-00:00 - Social dance party

Sunday: 10:00-10:30 - Doors open

10:00-18:30 - International Sportsdance Competition

10:30-12:45 - Workshops

12:45-13:45 - Lunch break

13:45-18:30 - Workshops

18:30-21:00 - Dinner time and Gala evening (finals and dance sports shows)

20:00-02:00 - Social dance party, shows and animations

See the detailed programme here: www.esodance.dk/nordiclatinball/

FOR MORE INFO: HTTPS://FB.ME/E/3CEQWTRSI

11

FEBRUARY CIRCUS OF LIGHTWAREHOUSE PARTY

Circus Of Light comes to Copenhagen! Sign up for tickets: https://forms.gle/V2aFpkTUdKHavjAq7

An experience quite like no other. The biggest light show in Denmark features immersive visual and sound dynamics.

- Circus performers and acrobats.

- Lasers and visual displays.

- Balloon drop.

- Glitter paint stalls.

- Body art professionals.

- Immersive light show.

- Confetti cannons.

Music Genres: House - Bass - D&B Fancy dress is highly encouraged for attendees.

FOR MORE INFO: HTTPS://FB.ME/E/24CDAITVA

11 FEBRUARY FLEA MARKET

Explore one of the country's largest indoor flea markets in Copenhagen when Bella Center opens its doors to a treasure of antiques, recycling and flea market goodies.

Opening hours:

Saturday: 10:00-17:00

Sunday: 10:00-16:00

Entrance fee: 40 DKK.

Note: We recommend that guests arrive via bus or metro. Read more at www.loppemarkedibella.dk

FOR MORE INFO: HTTPS://FB.ME/E/3HV89PBLF

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15 FEBRUARY GENDER, BODY AND SEXUALITY ART TOUR AT STATENS MUSEUM FOR KUNST

Throughout history, gender, bodies, and sexuality have been strong themes expressed by various media and methods in art. How has art interpreted and influenced the way we understand ourselves and each other? We invite you to join this private tour of art through the ages with expert guidance on how gender, bodies, and sexuality play a theme.

Following the one-hour tour, we will continue to a local cafe for casual networking and an opportunity to discuss the themes presented at the art gallery and how we experience and understand them today.

Programme:

16:45 - Registration and receiving entrance tickets.

17:00 - Guided tour of the museum.

18:00 - Short walk to a nearby cafe for casual networking.

19:00 – Close.

Register here: https://pwncopenhagen.net/.../4776-gender-body-and...

FOR MORE INFO: HTTPS://FB.ME/E/2DPWPML7L

17 FEBRUARY

SUSHI VALENTINE WORKSHOP

Romantic Valentine's activity!

Sushi Workshop for couples and dates in Aalborg. Would you like to give your partner/date a cosy and delicious experience?

Join us in preparing heart-shaped Valentine's sushi with your sweetheart!

Duration: 3 hours

Place: School kitchen, Tornhøjskolen, Tornhøjvej 1, 9220 Aalborg

Price: 750 DKK/pair. Students get a 5% discount. The price includes all ingredients.

FOR MORE INFO PM NIKKI HE

18 FEBRUARY LATIN SOCIAL PARTY

Copenhagen Salsa Academy invites everyone to the LATIN SOCIAL PARTY, Valentine's Edition. Let us take you on a dance trip to Latin America with a tribute to all the many rhythms and styles of Salsa and Bachata!

Programme:

19:30-20:30 - Salsa Romantica Workshop with Dennis and Ieva (Intermediate level)

20:30 - Doors open to the party

20:30-21:00 – Beginner intro salsa class for all! Bring all your friends and try it out!

21:00-00:45 - Welcome our resident DJs! Music: 70% Salsa, 30% Bachata.

Only indoor dancing shoes are allowed (no wet/dirty shoes). Bring extra t-shirts!

FOR MORE INFO: HTTPS://FB.ME/E/2BN4GHUCW

A value-driven community that welcomes students ages 4-16.

Rygaards has a strong reputation of a rich educational experience with a nurturing atmosphere where students learn to think for themselves, find their own voice, and engage with the world with confidence and curiosity.

• High academic standards

• Christian ethos

• Beautiful campus, located in Hellerup

FEBRUARY 2023 - WWW.THE-INTL.COM 5
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more at rygaards.com Bernstorffsvej 54, 2900 Hellerup +45 39 62 10 53 ADVERTISEMENT
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18-25 FEBRUARY WINTER LIGHTS FESTIVAL

The Fredskove (Forest of Peace) in Skjern is transformed into an interactive light landscape with tailor-made installations, transforming the facility's many small rooms and paths into a sensual, magical and visually spectacular experience.

Where: Fredskoven, 6900 Skjern

Time: 18:00–21:30

Price: FREE

FOR MORE INFO: HTTPS://FB.ME/E/3G5CC63PE

23 FEBRUARY COPENHAGEN LIGHT FESTIVAL

The light art at the Copenhagen Light Festival is a tribute to darkness and light. In February, Copenhagen's streets, canals and buildings are transformed after sunset into a backdrop for more than 30 site-specific works of art. Common to all the works is the use of light, which in the hands of many international artists, touches on everything from climate and architectural history to light as research and spirituality.

Take to the streets with a clear conscience!

It has been calculated that the net consumption of electricity drops when you visit the Copenhagen Light Festival. Therefore, it can be worthwhile in terms of energy to carry out the festival. Furthermore, power consumption drops overall when we switch off the lights and leave home to experience the light festival in Copenhagen. Visual artist Frederik Lindskov shows you Copenhagen as you've never seen it before and displays his works.

FOR MORE INFO: HTTPS://FB.ME/E/2GDDDUSUM

24 FEBRUARY AFRO BEAT DANCEHALL PARTY

Get your dancing shoes on!

El Mundo and Dj VoodooMan present a party night of Afro Beat & Dancehall Music!

- Havana Club and Cola 50 DKK all night.

- Malibu and Cola 50 DKK all night.

- Cocktail Happy Hour until 23:00.

- Doors open at 19:00

- Dj VoodooMan at 22:00

FOR MORE INFO: HTTPS://FB.ME/E/3NZBXZAYE

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25-26 FEBRUARY FINDERSKEEPERS' DESIGN MARKET

FindersKeepers Design Market in Copenhagen is where you can always find new and unique designs. Find inspiration among the fantastic designers and creative entrepreneurs.

Tickets and prices:

Day ticket - 50 DKK

Weekend ticket - 70 DKK

The day ticket is valid either Saturday or Sunday. The weekend ticket is valid for both Saturday and Sunday.

Please note:

Children under 12 years have free admission.

FOR MORE INFO: HTTPS://FB.ME/E/2DVQXRWBT

25 FEBRUARY

WINE & SOUND EFFECTSRAMBO 1

Wine and design a soundtrack of Rambo 1 from recycled sounds!

Explore the sound effects universe from a unique movie experience!

Film is a series of moving pictures, but we often forget that the sound is just as important as the picture.

Sound Effects are often used in the studio when a sound is difficult or impossible to record. These techniques are used in cinemas and theatres. Bring your imagination and let your creativity run wild to join me in exploring the Foley universe. This workshop is suited for everyone. No experience is needed!

Your ticket includes the following:

A two-hour workshop will give you the unique opportunity to create the sound of Rambo 1 sequence with an experienced Foley from France.

One glass of Wine.

An introduction to the history of sound effects creation and general techniques.

Discover the tricks of a Foley artist to create the sound of footsteps in the snow, rain falling, birds flying, the crackling of a fire, and much more!

Bonus: after the workshop, you can get the full soundtrack of the film sequence!

FOR MORE INFO: HTTPS://FB.ME/E/4ZFY3Z0LX

27 FEBRUARY

MONDAY MORNING DANCECONSCIOUS DANCE

Wake up to dance - a kickstart for the week to move, release, shake, and feel the body's energy and what is alive in us and between us when we meet in embodied presence. A free space to awaken the senses and be guided and seduced by the rhythms as we pursue the body's impulses and desire for movement.

Conscious Dance is a "moment to moment" practice, where we invite deep listening and make ourselves available for what will move and be moved on the dance floor. The Dance is facilitated and guided. No experience is required, just the desire to show up and dance.

When: Mondays 08:00- 09:00

Price: 75 DKK

Practicalities: Come 10 minutes before the Dance starts. Bring a water bottle to keep you hydrated and clothing you can dance comfortably in - we dance barefoot.

FOR MORE INFO: HTTPS://FB.ME/E/387KU6KFO

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FOR THE LOVE OF PASTA

FRANCESCA TENZE AND FANNAR FREYR HANNESSON PROVE THAT WHEN TWO PEOPLE COMPLEMENT EACH OTHER - AND WHEN INSPIRATION STRIKESTHE FOOD SCENE IN COPENHAGEN

WHEN HARRY MET Sally, it became a cult rom-com classic.

WWhen Francesca met Fannar, it started a beautiful relationship - and more.

Inspired by a weekend getaway in Bologna, the two internationals decided to bring the tradition of fresh pasta shops to Denmark - and level up their partnership.

DENMARK WITHOUT DEADLINE

Francesca moved to Denmark from Italy almost five years ago. Like many other Italians, she also finished her bachelor's in her home country and decided to move abroad for a master's degree. "To be honest, I didn't know much about Denmark. A friend who was already living here told me: Come here, you will not regret it. And I haven't regretted it."

Moving to Denmark wasn't her first experience living abroad - she worked in the UK as a volunteer in a charity shop. But Denmark was the first experience without a deadline. "I knew I would stay for at least two years. But then it was open roads." University made relocating to a brand-new country pretty easy. "It's a privileged position because the university is a little bubble where you mostly meet internationals. It's easy to get along with them because we are in the same situation. It's a little less easy to get to the locals," laughs Francesca.

Copenhagen, where she moved, made a good impression on her - although she is used to a much bigger city vibe as she comes from Milan. "A lot is going on - a lot of activities and traffic. Here, it was possible to get to know the whole city at once." By now, she feels like she knows Copenhagen better than Milan. She loves how structured everything is and how it works so well. "What also surprised me positively is how much safer I felt. I could come home at night and feel safe, which I could unfortunately never do back home."

Of course, she misses Italy - friends and family. "You leave a part of your life there. But I also miss the mountains - and I don't even come from a place with mountains! But

here, in a very flat country, I just feel the need for them."

But even though she would still consider experiencing a different country, Denmark feels like home now.

A CROSS-NORDIC MOVE

A big part of making her feel that way is definitely the little family she built here with her boyfriend, Fannar.

Originally from Iceland, he moved to Denmark about ten years ago. Unlike Fra, as he calls his girlfriend, his entire family moved too. "I was finishing high school and already considering studying at a university in Copenhagen. My parents saw an opportunity for my siblings to get a better education, quality of life, or job opportunities. Their push from them wanting to go to Denmark also convinced me to move."

In this case, he was fortunate to move abroad with his family - but he still misses his friends and Iceland. He misses nature, frost, mountains - and seeing glaciers outside of his windows and the Northern Lights, too. "Iceland is a very small place, so you feel very safe. When you go around, you bump into people that you know. It has a small community vibe. There's also a lot of freedom that comes with growing up in such a small place with loads of outdoor activities. Obviously, the weather is really harsh, but it's not something you think about a lot when you're growing up."

Denmark is quite similar to Iceland. "In terms of communication style, we are also straightforward and direct. Because we do share similarities, in some ways, it was quite easy to move." But since Iceland is so small, getting involved in different activities or groups is relatively easy. In Denmark, there's a lot to do and experience and many people to meet - but you must go out and find them. "That's not what I was used to. So it was a little difficult to figure out: What can I do? Who do I talk to? How do I build my circle in Denmark?"

8 FEBRUARY 2023 - WWW.THE-INTL.COM
PHOTOGRAPHS FRANCESCA TENZE TEXT MICHAELA MEDVEĎOVÁ
CAN BE ALL THE RICHER FOR IT.
9 FEBRUARY 2023 - WWW.THE-INTL.COM

Starting out at the university eased him into it. It put him into a bubble with like-minded people, newcomers like him, and he was able to branch out from there. And the university is also where he met Francesca.

TAKING THE LEAP

In fact, they already met during the introduction days of their programme. "We were playing these typical social games. We were in the circle and were supposed to associate our names with an animal that starts with the same letter. Fannar went first, and he got the animal I wanted to say - fish. I guess it helped me remember his name because it's one I've never heard before, very Icelandic. So we started talking from there, and pretty much started dating immediately," remembers Francesca.

When asked about their cultural differences potentially getting in the way of their dating, Francesca nods eagerly. "Yeah, I was waiting for an invite for a date because that's how it is in Italy. It's, unfortunately, a little too macho. It's not like that in the Nordics. So when the invitation didn't come, I asked Fannar out."

Fannar laughs and agrees that this is spot on. "In Iceland, we don't have such a strong dating culture. So it takes a long time - maybe you bump into each other in social situations and eventually go out on a date. Thankfully, Francesca took the step for both of us."

They continue to learn from each other in the relationship. Francesca thinks she got into a Nordic way of thinking much more. And Fannar? "Quite immediately, I noticed that Italians openly communicate their feelings and wear their heart on their sleeve. On the Nordic side, it takes longer to open up. So I've adapted more to the southern art of sharing."

A FRESH IDEA

They both studied International Marketing and Management at CBS. This opened the door to careers in big companies - Francesca went into the pharmaceutical industry, and Fannar worked at Novo Nordisk. They both enjoyed their workplaces. "It's an exciting experience to be a part of world-leading companies because their products have an impact all over. You also get to work with people from different backgrounds, with different stories, all incredibly talented and skilled people. You learn a lot just being around them," Fannar explains what he enjoyed about his career.

Ultimately quitting to start La Fresca was not without fear. "To be fair, we've been trained all our lives to go into a corporate job direction. If you study business, that's what most people do. So what we're doing here - being the owners of our activity and the physical job that comes with it - it's definitely something we're not used to," says Francesca. Nevertheless, deciding to simply 'go for it' took two years. The leap of faith was the most challenging part for Fannar. "You're used to a certain way of comfort when you have a

corporate job. So jumping into something completely unknown is quite scary. But I think we would have regretted not doing it because we worked on it for such a long time and were so interested in the idea."

The idea of starting a fresh pasta business came from their weekend trip to Bologna just before the pandemic started. Francesca explains that there's simply pasta everywhere in the city. "Wherever you turn, somebody's eating or making pasta, or, to be honest, thinking about pasta. So it was a very gastronomic tour. Apart from eating, we took part in a class where we learned how to make homemade pasta." They immersed themselves so much in the feeling and the culture that when they came home, they realized that the products you can get in Bologna are something you can't find in Copenhagen. As the city has a very good food landscape, the couple thought that opening a concept shop that exists in Italy would be an excellent alternative to the pasta you can buy in the supermarkets - something genuine, something tangible that people can still enjoy at home.

They started to research the idea and discover more about how they could bring the concept to life. And while it's fun to think about an exciting idea, finding all the necessary information that supports it and helps make the idea into reality was a challenge for the couple. "We tried to look for help from incubators and so on, but quite interestingly, we found out that, at the moment, the startup world is only focused on tech," explains Francesca. But they also needed to know the logistics of finding a place and securing the correct permits. Luckily, the pair also connected with people in the same industry. "We visited them and got to ask them all the questions we needed to get an understanding, which we really appreciated. But it was a long and difficult process to bring the shop from concept to reality," says Fannar.

But they did - and La Fresca opened its doors two months ago.

MAKE THE PASTA, SELL THE PASTA

Francesca laughs and says that operating a pasta shop is simple - you make the pasta and then sell it.

But of course, it's more complicated than that.

"You make pasta out of simple ingredients, and yet, you must work it in a certain way to make it as it should be. And we're not making just a few hundred grams," she says. "It's thinking about the recipes, planning for the week, understanding what people like."

They kick off their day with a morning of production. They divide the pasta prep and spend the morning making the dough, fillings, and sauces. "And when we open at 12:00, I go to the front of the store, and Francesca stays in the back to continue working on pasta. Then, once there is time in between, we're dealing with suppliers and accounting. So it's a pretty busy schedule," Fannar described their days.

They use traditional flavours for their product - and keep their recipes secret, of course.

10 FEBRUARY 2023 - WWW.THE-INTL.COM

But there is also an element of experimenting. That keeps the job interesting; they can try whatever they want as long as the product comes out good for the customers. "It took some trial and error to get to the correct final product we thought we could sell. However, many of our friends became extremely helpful in that testing period and were happy to taste test," laughs Fannar.

Of course, they base their products on customer feedback, too. They received a warm welcome from their local community - and have been busier than expected in the first two monthsthey already have returning customers. Some of them return to the store just to tell them they liked the pasta. "This makes it the best job. It's just heartwarming to feel this immediate reaction," says Francesca.

FULL SPEED AHEAD

People often ask worriedly if they can work as a couple and business partners. Francesca shakes her head. "People tell me: Oh, I could never do it with my partner. Maybe it's because we've worked at it for a long time, but we managed to separate business and personal. I won't take it personally if we don't agree on something. Being in a relationship also makes it easier to speak more directly. I wouldn't say things in such a direct way to a colleague, but I can say that to him." This also isn't the first time they've worked together. Fannar mentions that they also worked on uni projects together. "We can work quite well together. We complement each other in many ways."

And the most important thing? They still enjoy each other's company after work.

And that's good because their co-project isn't going anywhere. Their primary focus is to make their shop into a sustainable business. For example, they'd love for La Fresaca to become a go-to when people think of having pasta at home. "That's the long-term vision. We are very much focused on right here and now, and we'll see where it takes us. There's no timeline for stopping. It's just full speed ahead," concludes Fannar. THE-INTL

11 FEBRUARY 2023 - WWW.THE-INTL.COM
"THEY RECEIVED A WARM WELCOME FROM THEIR LOCAL COMMUNITY - AND HAVE BEEN BUSIER THAN EXPECTED IN THE FIRST TWO MONTHS - THEY ALREADY HAVE RETURNING CUSTOMERS."
LA FRESCA IS LOCATED ON JERNBANE ALLÉ 35, VALOSE. LAFRESCA.DK

THE ONLY THING YOU’LL EVER NEED TO ACE AN INTERVIEW

IINTERVIEWS ARE SCARY. In a recent survey, 93 percent reported feeling anxious before an interview. We’ve all been there when the interviewer asks one of those dreaded “tell me a time when…” questions. It’s so easy to clam up and panic. What if I told you it doesn’t have to be like this? Luckily, I’ve got the perfect system that you can use to nail these types of questions and help land you the job your talent deserves!

All you need to remember is STAR!

S - SITUATION

Here is where you briefly outline what happened and the state of affairs at the time. You can even start your answer by saying, “There was a situation X time ago where X” happened. Keep this section concise and to the point. No fluff, just facts.

Two tips here:

1. I’d always recommend using an example from the past year if possible.

2. Make sure to pick an appropriate example that won’t make the interviewer feel uncomfortable.

Uncomfortable? How can an interview answer make the interviewer uncomfortable? Well, I had a situation a few years ago (see what I did there!) where a candidate mentioned a difficult situation at work where they found out their wife had been cheating with a colleague. Well, the interviewer understandably didn’t know how to react. Needless to say, the interview went downhill from there, and he didn’t get the job! So start off strong by outlining the situation.

T - TASK

Once you’ve outlined the situation, you must tell the interviewer about the challenge.

“Because of the situation, I had to X.” Again, don’t feel the need to spend too

much time on this. A few sentences are more than enough to set the scene for the challenge you have to solve.

The real meat and potatoes of your answer are up next!

A - ACTION

Go! Go! Go! Now is the time to blow the interviewer away with the spectacular actions you took to resolve the situation! Your actions should make up the bulk of your answer. Take the interviewer on a journey, and explain to them step by step how YOU, with YOUR knowledge and expertise, solved the problem.

A quick tip: I see far too many people focus on what others did in this section. Let your colleagues find their own jobs. You want to focus on what YOU did to make a success from the situation. Far too often in life, we are taught not to talk too much about ourselves.

Now is the time to forget that lesson.

It’s time to use phrases like “I man -

aged”, “I improved”, and “I led” as much as you can. Be as specific as possible about what you did. The interviewer wants to know that you took a considered and logical approach to solving the problem. So show them exactly that! Actions speak volumes.

R - RESULT

So what happened next? How was the situation resolved? If you’ve done the first three sections well, the interviewer will be dying to know! So now is your chance to tell them how your big brain fixed the problem.

Want to really blow their minds? Do your best to use numbers and percentages to show how you turned the situation around. Want the job? Then you need to wow them with the result!

There you have it! Use the STAR method in your interview, and you’ll improve your chances of finding the job your talent deserves! Stay tuned for next month! THE-INTL

“You want to focus on what YOU did to make a success from the situation. Far too often in life, we are taught not to talk too much about ourselves.”

LUKE HANNON SENIOR TALENT ACQUISITION PARTNER

Luke is a Senior Talent Acquisition Partner at SYBO Games, the company behind the smash-hit game Subway Surfers. Based in Copenhagen (by way of London)!, he has been working to make SYBO grow. He spends his time finding the best talent that the games community has to offer!

He is always keen to build relationships by bringing passion and enthusiasm to the recruitment process. An advocate of Employer Branding, Luke works with the talented people at SYBO to let the world know how great a place it is to work.

When he's not hiring awesome talents for SYBO or cycling (he does live in Copenhagen, after all!), he's busy reading his favourite books and channelling his inner Hemingway as a writer!

12 FEBRUARY 2023 - WWW.THE-INTL.COM
TALENT ACQUISITION PROFESSIONAL LUKE HANNON SHARES RELEVANT TIPS AND HINTS IN YOUR CAREER SEARCH. PHOTOGRAPHS UNSPLASH TEXT LUKE HANNON

YYOU MIGHT NEGOTIATE with your kids about bedtime and brushing your teeth every evening. Or you might negotiate with your partner what to buy for dinner in the supermarket.

During your workday, you also negotiate with many people - customers, managers, colleagues, suppliers, other counterparts, and whoever you work with during your workday.

A negotiation is not a question about a winner or a loser. Instead, it is a situation where you share your different points of view and hopefully reach an agreement.

As you might have learned, the Danes often are pretty impatient, so they want to get to the point quickly. The well-known saying "The shortest distance between two points is a straight line" can be challenged from time to time, as a serious professional negotiator might need to hear more well-substantiated arguments before a final decision is made. It might take time, but hopefully, the participants will reach the best result with all angles of a problem researched and to everybody's satisfaction and acceptance.

When it comes to international business negotiation, even highly-skilled professionals with years of experience may find their interpersonal skills lacking when doing business abroad.

In cross-cultural business negotiations, negotiators should consider nuances when operating in a global setting. These nuances cry out for awareness of the counterparts' nationalities and unique characteristics. This is not an easy job - however, at least try to learn the most basic tone in business negotiations. This is also a question of retaining your dignity and, most of all, your credibility.

Furthermore, it will also be an advantage to understand the participants' motivations. Political, religious, and cultural differences can be challenging in interna-

tional sales negotiation. However, despite those differences, the negotiation process comprises four standard components.

Professional negotiators should be equipped with strategies to navigate the cross-cultural business field. One tool worth working with could be the four C's of negotiation: common interest, conflicting interest, compromise, and conditions. These four C-elements are common to all business deals regardless of cultural nuances.

COMMON INTEREST

"You have something I want, and I have something you want."

Without a common interest or goal, there is no need to negotiate. That is the first step in any negotiation.

CONFLICTING INTERESTS:

"I don't agree with what you offer." Problems arise when conflicts regarding payments, terms of the deal, key responsibilities, and the person saying no, surface. The proverbial "win-win" is always the most-desired outcome once the common interest is identified, but a win-win is not always achievable.

COMPROMISE:

"This is what I'm willing to concede if you are willing to make concessions, too."

If the win-win is not immediately attainable (due to conflicting interests), compromise is needed, and compromise means some desired goals must be forsaken to achieve the common goal. This involves identifying and resolving all areas of disagreement.

CRITERIA:

The final criteria should reflect all conditions under which all parties will agree. Any negotiation process is nuanced. Even

when the criteria are finalised, things may change over time. A "fresh interpretation of the four Cs" may be needed when this happens.

Now back to the negotiations with your kids. This process might need a very high level of patience.

The common interest might be challenging to meet. For example, the child does not see the need for sufficient sleep and does not want to miss any of the family's social activities; however, the parents' experience says sufficient sleep is essential.

The conflict could be negotiating bedtime. You want some evening rest and avoid trouble with an exhausted and uncooperative kid the following day. The kid only wants to stay and be a part of the family evening activities, watching TV, playing games etc.

So what is the compromise here? Sure, the kid forgets any agreement and will do it the following day. Perhaps not a compromise, but the parents must be more persistent than they want to be to avoid the same situation every evening.

In this situation, it might be a great idea to come up with some common criteria, and hopefully, the parent will have the final word. THE-INTL

JANE ELGÅRD PETERSEN CULTURAL DETECTIVE

Jane is a local and grew up in Denmark, apart from a few long-term stays abroad, whilst travelling extensively. For the last 10 years, her business has supported relocating internationals to Denmark and helping businesses onboard their employees. She loves a challenge and feels there are many different expectations of moving to Denmark, depending on who you are and where you come from.

kulturdetektiven.dk linkedin

13 FEBRUARY 2023 - WWW.THE-INTL.COM
NEGOTIATING IN
PHOTOGRAPHS UNSPLASH TEXT JANE ELGÅRD PETERSEN
Have you ever considered how often you actually are negotiating? My guess is you are doing it all the time. Our cultural detective Jane gives us some great insight.
DENMARK

FIGHTING OFF THE FEBRUARY FITNESS FRUSTRATIONS

IT’S BEEN EIGHT WEEKS SINCE WE VOWED TO BE HEALTHIER IN THE NEW YEAR, AND WE WONDER WHETHER IT’S ALL WORTH IT… HANG IN THERE. OUR FITNESS GURU, ALEX, WILL SHOW YOU HOW!

FFEBRUARY IS A universal test! Even the most avid winter lovers, who enjoy bundling up in layers, grow weary of the grey days towards month’s end, and it’s absolutely normal to struggle to remain committed to fitness, improved eating habits, and other health-related goals.

EXPECTING TOO MUCH, TOO SOON?

After several weeks of hitting the weights section in the gym, running more than we ever thought we could and eating according to plan, we expect to be rewarded. So, where is that athlete’s body we’ve been sculpting? And where is that extra energy we were promised when munching on all those greens?

Here’s the thing. We may not be shredding weight and dropping jeans sizes, but other improvements are happening. For example, imagine how sluggish we would feel if we were not exercising and eating well…

We would also not be creating healthier habits that will benefit us all year long (and way into the future), even after our goals are reached. Instead, we are founding, or improving, a healthy lifestyle—not one single goal to be checked off a list. Try to experience the journey – your evolving and improving lifestyle as you travel towards your desired results.

“The man who loves to walk will walk further than the man who loves the destination.” Let us commit to the long term.

Let’s shift the focus from the one-month resolution to a lifelong plan: nourish a healthier, happier life with a stronger body and mind in which you can comfortably live to old age. Here are a few tips to help you remain consistent:

1. SKIPPING WORKOUTS AND BINGING ON BEN & JERRY’S?

It happens. T’is the admitted dreary season, after all.

So re-visit your initial new-year’s motivation. Re-evaluate your routine. Are your workouts too hard or too easy? Are you on the treadmill when you really feel like dancing? There is so much variety out there, so find the activities that threaten the remote. Check out your fitness centre’s offerings and explore all the available classes. Research fitness communities like running and cycling clubs, outdoor group workouts or other sporting clubs.

2. ACHY, TIRED BODY?

Your workout routine may require a little quality vs quantity tweaking. Being fit doesn’t require extensive daily exercise. However, doing so wears on muscles and joints and may slow progress and create more frustration. Injuries are also more likely to occur when fatigue takes over. So speak with a personal trainer to determine if your workout is effective and suited to your goals. With this, you will learn where your workouts can improve, ensuring a quality session every time.

3. CONSTANTLY TALKING YOURSELF DOWN?

Negative self-talk wrecks efforts in all as -

pects of life. Health goals included.

Choosing and adopting a healthier lifestyle can feel overwhelming. It’s a lot of change. And we can only handle so much of it at a time. You are doing GREAT. So instead of beating yourself up for missing that one workout and drinking that one extra glass of wine, pat yourself on the shoulder and praise yourself for wanting to make the change.

Results take time, and a skipped workout or a three-course dinner is not a setback. They, too, can be part of a healthy lifestyle. We all need to find—and manage—our own balance.

Setting realistic expectations will be vital in avoiding disappointment and frustration. So instead of suddenly waking up a rock star, expect to gradually become the person you intend to be, putting in the hard work and letting yourself make mistakes that enable you to learn and become stronger. With that new attitude, I promise that goals will be reached at the pace they are supposed to. THE-INTL

ALEXANDRA BECK PERSONAL TRAINER & NUTRITION COACH

Alex is a Swiss/Brit mom and wife who has lived in Copenhagen since 2009. She switched from corporate life in communications to the independent life of an outdoor personal and group fitness trainer. She coaches people of all ages and fitness levels to find fun and consistency in movement through individual and group workouts. Delivering entertainment and spreading group fitness magic is her superpower. Alex encourages you to high-five her if you see her in the capital!

@alexbeck.fit

@alexbeck.fit

@alexbeck.fit

14 FEBRUARY 2023 - WWW.THE-INTL.COM
PHOTOGRAPHS UNSPLASH / ALEXANDRA BECK TEXT ALEXANDRA BECK
"SETTING REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS WILL BE VITAL IN AVOIDING DISAPPOINTMENT AND FRUSTRATION."

THE IMPORTANCE OF ACCOMPANYING PARTNERS

WHEN INTERNATIONALS ARRIVE IN DENMARK, THEY FACE MANY CHALLENGES - EVERYTHING IS NEW, AND IT CAN BE DIFFICULT TO APPROACH AND NAVIGATE DANISH CULTURE AND SOCIETY.

TTHIS CHALLENGE IS even more significant if you arrive as an accompanying spouse or partner and navigate the Danish job market without a network. I tried that myself when I moved to Uganda and settled with my wife.

THE IMPORTANCE OF FOCUSING ON PARTNERS

An increasing number of highly qualified internationals are choosing to move to Denmark, and more Danish companies also focus on international recruitment due to labour shortages. International workers contribute significantly to the Danish economy and development, benefiting Denmark greatly. Many bring their spouse or partner but often arrive without jobs, though most have the skills and desire to work.

Successful integration requires the international employee and their partner to be satisfied and settled. However, integration becomes more difficult without a job because the network and community a workplace provides are essential. The partner is, therefore, often without a network, creating a risk for the Danish companies that their international employees will leave the job and Denmark.

When having international employees, it is, therefore, vital to focus on the family as a whole and make sure that the partner is also happy and is getting settled in Denmark. Furthermore, a study from Tænketanken DEA has shown that finding a job for the accompanying partner is one of the most critical factors in retaining one's international employees. This makes accompanying partners a vital group to focus on and essential for Denmark's economic growth.

SPOUSE SPACE

It would be a shame for companies to lose

a valued employee due to their partner not feeling properly settled, not to mention the cost for companies to recruit and train employees they lose shortly afterwards. Therefore, this is an essential focus for International House North Denmark, located in Aalborg.

They provide help and guidance for accompanying partners via their Spouse Space programme to increase their chances of finding a job.

Spouse Space is characterised by meetings approximately every second month, where the participants are asked to help decide the topics. The meetings focus on topics like job searching, networking, volunteer work, and entrepreneurship, but they also have a social and networking aspect. Spouse Space aims to create relationships between spouses and partners, help with job search and integration in the Northern Danish region, and introduce partners to networking opportunities. Partners can also receive one-to-one guidance if they wish.

Their next meeting is on 15 February, where the focus will be on volunteering and how partners can use this during their job search. Speakers from Rotary International and Frivillighuset will join to present volunteer opportunities. Then, on 22 March, there is a workshop about Career Days in Gigantium, where partners can learn how to approach and present them-

selves to companies. Events will also be planned for June, October, November, and December.

PARTNERS HAVE JOB POTENTIAL

Partners are essential to focus on because companies risk losing their employees if the whole family is not well settled. An example of this is accompanying spouse Anastasia from Ukraine, who came to Denmark with her Danish husband. Despite her spouse being able to provide for the family, she wanted to work. Bringing years of experience in sales and pr, she wanted to find work within the same field. After some time, her job search was successful when she found her dream job at the IT company Internet Zoo in Aalborg with the prospect of being both in charge of sales and a personal assistant. For Anastasia, this meant she could learn about Danish workplace culture and meet new Danish coworkers while the company gained a valued employee with the desired competencies. You can read Anastasia's full story here. Accompanying partners, therefore, bring essential educational backgrounds and competencies that companies need, especially during the current labour shortage. Studies also show that diversity in the workplace brings innovation and growth. Accompanying partners should therefore be viewed as an investment with many opportunities. THE-INTL

LASSE FRIMAND JENSEN

TEAM MANAGER AND CITY COUNCIL MEMBER

 Team Manager at International House North Denmark.

 City Council member in Aalborg Municipality.

 Group chairman for the Social Democratic Party in Aalborg.

 Chairman of DANVA and Port of Aalborg.

 Father of three kids and married to Kirstine.

 Worked and lived in Africa as an expat.

 Takes an active part as a volunteer for the international community.

 Believes in international solidarity and wants the international community in Aalborg to be more aware of their rights.

lassefj.dk

lassefj.dk

lassefj.dk

15 FEBRUARY 2023 - WWW.THE-INTL.COM
JUTLAND
PHOTOGRAPHS UNSPLASH / LASSE FRIMAND JENSEN TEXT LASSE FRIMAND JENSEN

CCOPENHAGEN HAS ITS own unique district heating centre that, at the same time, has turned an industrial building that turns waste to district heating energy into a unique winter sports tourist centre with breath-taking views of the city.

SKIING AND SNOWBOARDING

The city wanted to create a community centre at CopenHill, so they created SKI365, Denmark's new skiing location. SKI365 is for everyone who loves skiing and snowboarding. Here, like-minded people can enjoy benefits, offers and events that all focus on being active together.

Whether you are a beginner or experienced does not make a difference. There is something for everyone. The upper part of the ski slope is characterised as a black/ red piste, while the middle and lower parts are characterised as a blue/green piste.

In addition, there is a slalom course, freestyle park and an area for children with 4 lifts - the bottom 3 are magic carpet lifts, while the upper to the steep section is a plate lift.

If you do not have your own equipment, don't worry. CopenHill has ski rental and the facility has many years of experience in ski care, settings and service, so you'll get a great start with your skiing experience. It is also possible to use your own equipment. The surface is made of Neveplast (green plastic), so it is essential to grease skis on the silicone mats every time you ride down the ski slope. This prevents frictional heat from occurring underneath the skis.

RUNNING

At CopenHill, you can also enjoy numerous other opportunities to be active. One of them is mountain running up and down the "CopenHill Track". As you run up the route at CopenHill, you automatically want to improve your performance, see if you can run all the way or beat your own personal record. Competitions are held regularly for those who wish to run the fastest to the top of the CopenHill Track. In addition, exciting running series are organised with the focal point around "mountain running", so everyone can try out the slope's steep percentages of between 5% and 35%.

HIKING

For those interested in simply enjoying the green natural landscape at CopenHill,

COPENHILL

URBAN MOUNTAIN SPORT!

there are plenty of opportunities to do so, as you can use the path systems or the stairs on both sides of the ski slope to walk to the top. The routes take you through an exciting green landscape, which suggests activities such as a lovely picnic in the bush, a mountain hike at sunset, or simply enjoying the view of Copenhagen at an altitude of 85 meters.

Amager Bakke is open to the public within business hours, which means you can go up the CopenHill Track, the trail systems, the staircase and the elevator free of charge. This is, of course, subject to an events calendar as well as wind and weather.

URBAN TRAINING

If you have more energy after a hike or run to the top, you can combine your workout with urban training - street fitness at the height of 78 meters. CopenHill has installed various fitness racks that contain the possibility of doing pull-ups and arm walks as well as other alternative workouts. There is also yoga and more during peak periods with a relaxing and idyllic view of Sweden over Øresund.

CLIMBING AND RAPPELLING

One side of CopenHill is used for an ex-

"THE CLIMBING WALL IS THE TALLEST IN THE WORLD AT 85 METERS TALL WITH A WIDTH OF 10 METERS, OFFERING VARIOUS OBSTACLES ALONG THE WAY TO THE TOP."

treme activity that completes the mission of doing mountain sports in a big city without any significant altitude.

The climbing wall is the tallest in the world at 85 meters tall with a width of 10 meters, offering various obstacles along the way to the top. The climbing wall is designed and decorated to resemble a natural mountain wall with various overhangs and routes to the top.

A climbing wall of this height is unique in itself, especially in Denmark, and a multi-pitch certification is required to climb the wall. This means that only experienced and trained climbers are allowed to climb to the top. Children and youths under the age of 18 may only climb multi-pitch on the climbing wall with an experienced adult of 21 years or older - both must be certified. THE-INTL

MARIANO ANTHONY DAVIES

PRESIDENT & CEO OXFORD BUSINESS SERVICES APS

Mariano has over 40 years global experience as a bus ness executive. He spent ten years with KPMG, so far thirty years with British Chambers of Commerce (while also running Oxford Business Services ApS). He is a British citizen, who grew up in Kent, went to boarding school in Sussex and has a British university education. He has been married to a Dane for over 45 years and has held over 150 official anti-Brexit speeches since 2016. He both speaks and writes Danish without difficulty.

oxford-business.com

16 FEBRUARY 2023 - WWW.THE-INTL.COM
CopenHill is Copenhagen's epicentre for urban mountain sports. PHOTOGRAPHS COPENHILL URBAN MOUNTAIN FB PAGE TEXT MARIANO ANTHONY DAVIES

STICKY TOFFEE PUDDING

A DELICIOUSLY MOIST BRITISH SPONGE DRIZZLED WITH SWEET TOFFEE SAUCE THAT’S SURE TO MAKE YOUR INNER CHILD BEAM WITH GLEE! PHOTOGRAPHS & TEXT: NATASHA LIVIERO / UNSPLASH

STICKY TOFFEE PUDDING

PUDDING INGREDIENTS:

220g dates

200g boiling water

5g bicarbonate of soda

80g unsalted butter at room temperature

140g dark Muscovado sugar

2 XL eggs

170g all-purpose flour

METHOD:

1. Set oven to 1800C or 1600C (fan).

2. Grease a 23cm square baking tin.

10g baking powder pinch of salt

SAUCE INGREDIENTS:

150g unsalted butter

230g dark Muscovado sugar

225g cream

20g whiskey or alcohol of your choice

3. Pit and roughly chop the dates. Pour over the boiling water, add the bicarb and stir to combine, ensuring the water covers all the dates. Leave to stand for 15 minutes.

4. Cream the butter and sugar with a paddle attachment for 5 minutes.

5. On medium speed, add the eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition and scraping down the sides as you go along.

6. On medium-low speed, add the flour, baking powder and salt.

7. Blend the date/water mixture into a rough paste. On low speed, add the dates to the rest of the mixture.

8. Spoon the pudding mixture into the baking tin and bake for 30 minutes or until the skewer comes out clean.

9. While the pudding is baking, prepare the sauce by combining the butter, sugar and cream in a saucepan over medium heat.

10. Once the butter and sugar have melted, turn up the heat and boil for a few minutes. Then, take off the heat and add the alcohol, if using.

11. Once the pudding is baked, remove it from the oven and prick it with a toothpick or skewer.

12. Gently pour approximately a quarter of the sauce over the pudding, ensuring it covers the entire surface area. Don’t allow the sauce to pool in the centre, or it will become too stodgy.

13. Cover the pudding and leave it in the warmer drawer for around 60-90 minutes.

14. When ready to serve, gently heat the remaining sauce and drizzle over the pudding with a scoop of ice cream, a dollop of cream or vanilla custard.

Notes: Soak the dates in coffee or tea for additional flavour.

NATASHA LIVIERO - PASTRY CHEF

Natasha is a recently qualified pastry chef who is South African by birth and Croatian by blood. She spent many years working for a wellness publication but did an about-turn at the beginning of 2020 when she joined a culinary school to fulfil a lifelong dream to study patisserie. She’s passionate about European patisserie and loves spending time in the kitchen experimenting with recipes (while quibbling with her feline friends), and is always on the hunt for interesting new cookbooks.

natashaliviero

17 FEBRUARY 2023 - WWW.THE-INTL.COM FOOD ART

THE FASHION LOVE LANGUAGE

VALENTINE'S DAY IS fast approaching with the yearly visit from our favourite vigilante cherub. Even though Cupid takes the laws of attraction into his own hands, the question of… "What should I wear?"...still remains. "Did you know that you could wear your lingerie beyond the notorious Love Day?... Out in public!?" I am here to share creative ways to infuse your bedroom talk into city-style screams. So…get comfy, and let's talk about how to transition from your sheets to the streets.

#1 Sheer mesh and the naked dress

2023 is the year of giving 'bawdy' (formally known as body)...where we display our most intimate biologies in a sultry fashion. Mesh is a delicate pop to any outfit, whether structured as a shirt, pants, or dress. Mesh is a universal textile that can add the right amount of spice to your everyday life. The 'Naked Dress' definition is given away in its name…a dress that is giving the bare minimum…literally. So feel free to throw a barely there dress over your favourite pair of mom jeans… let's call it 'well balanced'.

#2 Push it real good

Let's calculate…it takes some time (for the less experienced) to one-handedly put on a corset. It takes even less time to remove it on that special night…resulting in a very short ensemble life. I am here to help extend that corset slay moment. Corsets (or bustiers if you're feeling fancy) are the perfect elevation to any outfit. Donning a structured corset over your button-down or nostalgic band tee is the chef's kiss. Bras can be rocked similarly, especially under a tailored suit. This is your sign to go ahead and have that hourglass moment… "it's 3am somewhere, right?"

#3 Caught slipping

Sometimes, the words…slip dress…can evoke childhood memories of grandmothers saying goodnight before bed…but honey, times have changed. Slip dresses are out and about and here to SLAY. Whether the fabric is satin, silk, or cotton… these are deemed transformative pieces. Layering a slip dress over jeans/trousers and a t-shirt automatically screams 90's grunge (don't forget you're worn in biker boots). Giving you permission to rummage through your grannies' old things…and get caught slipping.

#4 The boyfriend briefs

It's no secret that a woman's favourite comfort clothes…most likely have been 'borrowed' (permanently) from her partner. If my husband reads this article, I will amend my opening statement to… 'alleged secret'. However, I am still here to relay some laundry day favourites to be on alert for. The boxer brief is such a simple cloth impression, but 2023 will be the year of 'just out of bed moments'. Yep, you can rock a simple boxer briefs, similar to biker shorts and be on your way. Extra points if you are to wear briefs with the outer stitchings visible. Since the Danish weather can be unforgiving, I will wait to test this heist in warmer weather.

#5 Kinks

If you couldn't tell by now…this is a judgement-free zone, especially in the name of fashion. Some bedroom attires are more restrictive (I think in a good way), but that doesn't mean you cannot incorporate them into your outer styling life. Latex, harnesses, and underwire cage pieces are the badassery we need to indulge in. A simple leather harness can change the entire outfit's direction and statement. The exposed metal wiring for a fashioned corset or hoop under the skirt can be worn to add a bit of excitement. "Pull up those thigh-high latex boots and grab a cup of coffee".

What is your fashion love language?

If you have made it this far…inquiring minds need to know! "Will you be a lady in the sheets only?...Or have I convinced you to also be a lady in the streets?!" Either way, lingerie is supposed to make you feel beautiful in an empowering sense. So whether you keep the lace between you and your loved one…or grace the world with your style…I am here for it. Happy love month! THE-INTL

VANESSA PETERSEN JEWELRY DESIGNEROWNER OF STYLEFREED

Dubbed the 'Jill Of All Trades', Vanessa hails from the sunshine state of Florida. After visiting Copenhagen several times as a former International Flight Attendant, she permanently settled in Denmark in 2017 with her husband. Currently, Vanessa is the owner of the hand-crafted jewellery brand, the Style Freed. She creates personalised jewellery centred around healing crystals worldwide. Being a creative "mompreneur' has also allowed Vanessa to focus on her son's developmental journey with autism in Denmark.

@stylefreed @thestylefreed @stylefreed

18 FEBRUARY 2023 - WWW.THE-INTL.COM
1 2 3 4 5

EVERY KIND OF LOVE A PERSONAL TRIBUTE...

FFEBRUARY IS THE month of love. This could be between partners, friends or other family members. While it's a holiday my husband and I have never made a big deal of, it's a good reminder of the need to pay attention to romantic love and take some time for romance.

Just before valentine's day last year, my father-in-law was told he had incurable cancer and approximately a year left to live. Put quite bluntly, a year left with someone is an awkward period - too long to drop everything and be with one another constantly, too short to carry on as usual. The caring responsibilities that come when someone is going to be ill for the rest of their life complicate relationships, in some ways deepening them, in others causing strain. Attempting to find the correct balance of time as a couple and making the most of the time we had left with him has proven challenging.

Reflecting upon how we've managed a balance in the last year, I've realised that we have tried to cram many years into one. Rather than one summer holiday together, we've embarked on a bit of a bucket trip list. Some of this bucket list has proven to be utterly unattainable: many of my father-in-law's drivers to the hospital are Syrian, and through talking to them about their home country, he's developed a real but sadly impossible wish to visit. Some have been relatively straightforward, like Poland, to show him a city we've loved for years, or England, to see an opera he loves. Others, however, have taken quite a lot of effort and creative thinking. For his birthday, he wanted to visit the Moorish Alhambra in Spain. I wasn't sure how we'd get him there, but with some interesting driving through streets, I'm not entirely sure cars were meant to frequent - we managed. This is a way of showing love but can also be extremely tiring, an aspect people don't

see in pretty Instagram photos. Navigating day-to-day tasks and issues have also become much more challenging and time-consuming. While Denmark's high level of digitalisation is convenient for many expats, we're now seeing the downsides, as the system is highly inflexible and challenging for older people who struggle online. For example, many council services my father-in-law used to phone about are now only accessible through an online form, meaning we must do it for him. This both adds to our workload and contributes to him not feeling included.

Among all this, it's also become clear to me how important retaining a strong relationship as a couple is. This can be extremely challenging when caring for a person, coordinating support, and trying to find time to ensure you're also enjoying life. For the first few months, I felt that

voicing my needs or taking time as a couple was selfish and something I had to put off until later. But honestly, people dependent on others don't benefit from you running on fumes. For this reason, I'm making sure that during 2023 we spend days like Valentine's Day, birthdays or our wedding anniversary celebrating one another as a couple in some way. After a week spent together at Christmas, my husband and I headed to Norway for a week. I spent a morning on the phone to the Hjemmepleje (home helpers) at our local council, but spent most of the break hiking and enjoying the mountainous landscapes I miss in Denmark. Will we regret not using those weekends or days off work with my father-in-law? I'm sure we'll end up pondering that question once he's gone, but deep down, I know it's right to look after ourselves and him. THE-INTL

"Reflecting upon how we've managed a balance in the last year, I've realised that we have tried to cram many years into one."

HEATHER STORGAARD WRITER

Heather Storgaard comes from Northern Scotland, grew up in Switzerland, and lived in England and Germany. She met her Danish and soon-tobe British husband back in 2017, and they now split their time between Central Scotland and Helgenæs, a peninsula in rural Eastern Jutland. Languages and cultural studies are a big passion, leading Heather to pursue a degree in Culture and Heritage and a career in photography and translation.

@heatherstorgaard

19 FEBRUARY 2023 - WWW.THE-INTL.COM
PHOTOGRAPHS HEATHER STORGAARD / UNSPLASH TEXT HEATHER STORGAARD

HELPING YOURSELF TO LOVE YOURSELF

SHANI BISHOP SHARES HER THOUGHTS ON LIVING A HAPPIER LIFE WHEREVER YOU ARE.

TTHERE ARE MANY types of love. According to the ancient Greeks, there are eight. We tend to think of love for others when we think of love, but actually loving oneself, Philautia (love of the self), is so important.

If you are curious about the other seven, you can google them, so I'll focus on Philautia (pronounced pee-lavTEE-ah). Self-love changes at every age. At a young age, I was so focused on what I wanted to achieve that I often neglected what was needed to maintain good physical and mental health. I don't think I am alone in this, as I see it in young people all the time. The nature of peer pressure and aspiration can prove a powerful drug to the young. However, as I get older, I see more clearly that understanding yourself, being kind to yourself and setting boundaries are the roots of happiness.

There are so many facets to self-love. The foundations for keeping yourself well and showing yourself love are eating well, exercising and sleeping. If you take the time to invest in doing these well, then you give yourself the maximum chance of feeling good.

If I exercise, sleeping takes care of itself, but if you have a lot on your mind, try this: https://www.nhs.uk/ conditions/insomnia/. Theirs is a lot of advice and support online.

Denmark is widely regarded for its healthy lifestyle, which includes food and exercise, and once the foundations of sleep, exercise and food are nailed, what's next?

There are lots of studies that show that close networks of friends and family help promote happiness. The more interconnections you create, the better you feel. The Danes are good at this, but this can be tough for foreigners living in Denmark. Expats and foreign friends make for an interesting and exciting life in the short term, but the sadness of losing them when they or you move on is really hard. This is often why people settle permanently and integrate into their home countries because they tire of the constant movement. The key in this situation is how you view friendships. Before I moved to Denmark, I always wanted deeper friendships. However, the expat experience has taught me to value relationships in the moment and know they would ebb and flow like life.

If you are looking for inspiration about how to live better, I highly recommend Action for Happiness. They are a charity based in London which invites experts to share all aspects of happiness. The talks are free and held 'live' online. During the talks, one can ask questions, allowing you to feel part of the community. The talks cover happiness in many different ways. Recent talks included 'Vulnerability As Strength', 'Unwinding Anxiety' or 'Wellbeing Skills'. There is a monthly calendar to download and online courses if you need support. Their motto is 'Let's take action to be Happier and Kinder, Together'. You can even have an email sent to you every day because happiness is a habit that can be cultivated. At Action Happiness, Self-love and compassion are talked about a lot, and you can tell that everyone who works there is really happy. THE-INTL

10 KEYS TO HAPPIER LIVING

Everyone's path to happiness is different. Based on the latest research, Action Happiness has identified 10 keys that tend to make life happier and more fulfilling.

Together they spell GREAT DREAM, and you can explore them below.

GIVING - do kind things for others.

RELATING - connect with people.

EXERCISING - take care of your body.

AWARENESS - live life mindfully.

TRYING OUT - keep learning new things.

DIRECTION - have goals to look forward to.

RESILIENCE - find ways to bounce back.

EMOTIONS - look for what's good.

ACCEPTANCE - be comfortable with who you are.

MEANING - be part of something bigger.

20 FEBRUARY 2023 - WWW.THE-INTL.COM
PHOTOGRAPHS UNSPLASH TEXT SHANI BISHOP

FFEBRUARY IS ASSOCIATED with romance, red roses, chocolate hearts, and more. It is linked to a passionate romance or a longterm relationship. It can refer to the maternal bond between a mother and child. It can also be a display of strong feelings for pets, activities, or life in general.

WHY DO WE SEEK IT?

The feeling of love stimulates the release of certain chemicals in our bodies, such as dopamine and Phenylethylamine, PEA, which fill us with happiness. Love also triggers oxytocin production, a bonding hormone that lowers stress and anxiety levels. Love is powerful; it enriches our lives and makes us feel safe.

LOVE IN A SCHOOLING CONTEXT

Love might not be the first word associated with school, but it is an essential emotion needed to fulfil a vast aspect of its work. In the first instinct, people associate school with the subjects taught, schedules, and the exams sat and passed. This is, in part, correct, but it is only part of the work performed. First and foremost, an environment that fosters a sense of belonging and emotional safety must be created before any learning can take place.

Creating this atmosphere falls mainly on teachers. Children coming to the first class will experience a massive step in their social and emotional development. During their early years, the closest connection is with their mother and other family members, who foster a circle that provides love and security. Suddenly, there is a vast broadening of a child’s world with new, critical figures, including the teacher, teacher assistants, and other children. The known dynamics have been blown up, so the family and the school must partner to establish a larger, safe circle.

IN ‘LOCO PARENTIS’

A mother’s role in this process is to reaffirm to her child that the new person in her child’s life is someone who can be trusted, liked, and is part of daily life. There is a handing over of the reins for a period of the day, where the teacher provides a child with emotional strength, reassurance, and

SCHOOLS NEED LOVE

"The educator has a responsibility to form a close connection with a child. Each interaction and reaction are significant, as they influence a child’s perception of the new adult in his/her life."

love. This responsibility is a legal requirement of a school.

The educator has a responsibility to form a close connection with a child. Each interaction and reaction are significant, as they influence a child’s perception of the new adult in his/her life. The volume and tone of the teacher’s voice impact a child’s emotions, so a calm and friendly approach is advisable. Body language also tells a child much about a teacher’s attitude towards him or her. In addition, a warm, colourful classroom with calendars, schedules, visual aids, and distinct learning areas helps a child navigate the day and experience a sense of security. Every considered aspect enhances a child’s ability to settle and feel that s/he can see the class teacher and the classroom as an extension of the family unit and home.

AN INVESTMENT OF EMOTIONS

Each child is an individual whose habits and behaviours need to be learnt and appreciated, so a winning and lasting connection can be made. A primary teacher

must emanate a lot of love, which must be genuine, for young children can sniff out falsehood! The repayment on establishing a trusting bond is an almost unconditional love back.

CLASS CONNECTIONS

The teacher also needs to bond with the entire class so there is a caring and respectful feeling among class members. Team building activities, class outings, modelling, and sharing are part of forming these connections, which, in some cases, results in lifelong friendships among class members.

In a world where turmoil exists in many places and areas, the need for carving out a place of stability and positive interactions is ever more critical. Where this happens, the situation allows children to experience harmony and build on ethical, solid values that are pointers for navigating life.

Giving, showing, and promoting kind emotions is a large part of a teacher’s day. Without it, the real work cannot even begin! THE-INTL Link to sources.

MONIKA PEDERSEN INTERNATIONAL EDUCATOR

Monika comes from the London area of the UK, where she worked in the state system and the international school system, as an English teacher of 11-18 students and then a section leader. She has also worked in Germany and now in Denmark. She has an overview of the British, International, and American educational systems and is currently learning about the Danish system. She has been in education for 32 years and continues to enjoy the profession. She has relocated to Copenhagen as she is married to a Dane. She enjoys jogging, waterside walks, and cooking.

@monikapedersen

@monikapedersen

21 FEBRUARY 2023 - WWW.THE-INTL.COM
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PHOTOGRAPHS UNSPLASH
MONIKA PEDERSEN

HOW TO GET SPECIAL EDUCATIONAL SUPPORT

SPECIAL EDUCATIONAL SUPPORT, OR SPECIALPÆDEGAGOGISK STØTTE (SPS), IS AN OPTION FOR SPECIAL ASSISTANCE FOR YOUNG PEOPLE WITH A DISABILITY IN DENMARK SO THAT THEY HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO GET AN EDUCATION ON EQUAL FOOTING WITH THEIR PEERS. IN THIS ISSUE, WE DIVE INTO WHAT SPS IS, HOW INDIVIDUALS OR SCHOOLS CAN APPLY FOR IT - AND THE IMPACT IT HAS ON STUDENTS' LIVES.

AACCORDING TO SPS - Specialpædadogisk Støtte, SPS is individual compensatory support linked to education only, meant to help people with disabilities compensate for the challenges that arise for them as a consequence of their disabilities.

According to EVA (Danmarks Evalueringsinstitut), this support can consist of the following:

 Assistive devices, for example, compensatory literacy technology for students with dyslexia or IT aids for students with visual impairment

 Personal or secretarial assistance for people who have mobility issues

 Support hours for students with a mental disability

 Teaching materials specially designed to help students with disabilities to study

 Sign language and written interpretation

Students have the right to SPS if they have a disability that requires support to allow them to finish their education. They also must be attending programmes that are approved for receiving SPS.

In some types of education programmes, it is also necessary for the student to be a Danish citizen or to have equal status.

IN WHICH TYPES OF EDUCATION CAN YOU OBTAIN SPS? WHO APPLIES FOR IT?

SPS is a possibility for students in the following types of education:

Higher education (videregående uddannelser)

 SPS is requested by the SPS officer at your higher education institution on behalf of the student. The first step towards getting SPS is therefore contacting the officer.

 Then, you must participate in an interview with the officer to discuss your special needs and considerations.

 You must provide an application form, consent form, and documentation for your disability.

Adult and continuing education (voksen- og efteruddannelser - VEU)

 The same applies.

Youth education (ungdomsuddannelser)

 The same applies.

Independent or private schools (friskoler og privatskoler)

 SPS is requested by the school - they can apply for grants for special educational assistance or aid if the Pedagogical Psychological Counseling (PPR) assesses that the student needs support for at least nine teaching hours a week.

MICHAELA MEDVEDOVÁ comes from Slovakia and moved to Denmark 3 years ago to study for her Master's degree. She says living in Odense is the perfect city for her because it's not too large to be intimidating, but still exciting! She works at Umbraco as a Magical Copy Whisperer and started a podcast with her friends - @humans.of.sdu. She loves watching and talking about movies, Harry Potter, karaoke nights (even though she can't sing to save her life), and pub quizzes (winning them, to be specific).

Post-secondary or independent vocational schools (efterskoler og frie fagskoler)

 The same applies.

Preparatory basic education (forberedende grunduddannelse - FGU)

 The school applies on behalf of the student. In collaboration with the school, you create an educational plan that outlines your need for SPS. In addition, you need to provide an application form, consent form, and documentation for your disability.

However, there are unfortunately no guarantees that your application for SPS will be approved, as applications are processed on a case-by-case basis.

Should your application be denied, you can apply again with additional documentation or appeal the decision to the Appeals Board for the State's Education Support Schemes (Ankenævnet for Statens Uddannelsesstøtteordninger). You can also file a complaint with the Danish Agency for Education and Quality (Styrelsen for Undervisning og Kvalitet) and mark it "Complaint to the Board of Appeal for the State's Education Support Schemes" ("Klage til Ankenævnet for Statens Uddannelsesstøtteordninger").

If your application is denied and you decide to appeal, you must file your appeal within four weeks of receiving the decision.

HOW DOES THE SYSTEM WORK FOR STUDENTS?

According to a survey by EVA (Danmarks Evalueringsinstitut), students with different impairments benefit from the availability of SPS as it increases their chances of completing their education and lessens the risk of dropping out of their education program. In addition, according to the survey's findings, students improve their professional competencies, participate actively in classes and group work, and plan their time. Schools are key in this effort as they need to quickly identify and initiate support for the students and adapt to their individual needs.

However, according to a report from the Education and Research Agency (Uddannelses- og Forskningsstyrelsen), students with a disability do not thrive compared to their peers without disabilities. This is reflected in several factors. For example, among students with a mental disability, 32% of students interrupt their studies within two years after starting, compared to only 24% among students without a disability.

Students with special needs also have decreased well-being and an increased average study time of almost four months compared to the average study time for their peers. The unemployment rate of recent graduates is also increased by 6.5% compared to their peers without a disability.

The completion rate of youth education is also lower - according to an analysis from the Labor Movement's Business Council, only 54% of young people with disabilities have completed youth education by the age of 25, compared to 80% of their peers without a disability. THE-INTL

SARA R. NEWELL is from Canada, went to high-school in Costa Rica, and has worked and studied in Iceland and Denmark. She is a disability rights activist and has a master's degree in Technological Business Development and Biomedical Engineering from Aarhus University. Sara has lived in Denmark since 2003, and lives with her husband and daughter. She hopes to contribute and share insights with others who have children with disabilities. https://www.linkedin.com/in/sararose-newell-b1904726 / https://m.facebook.com/groups/bakopomdepaarorende

22 FEBRUARY 2023 - WWW.THE-INTL.COM
PHOTOGRAPHS UNSPLASH TEXT MICHAELA MEDVEDOVÁ / SARA R. NEWELL

6 TIPS TO BE MINDFULLY IN LOVE

A‘ALL YOU NEED is love’. Really?

Every February seems to be a lovey-dovey month. Whatever your status, there is something and someone to love you and your life. But let’s take a healthy and light approach to navigate this relationship/situation/whatever-ship we find ourselves in at some point.

While I’m not a therapist or psychologist, I can only share from experience and constant learning. It might not resonate with everyone, but here are six key takeaways I’ve found very useful - take what you need!

1. HAVE FUN

Remember to have fun, no matter which stage of your relationship. Not in a disrespectfully using each other kind of way, but genuinely enjoying each other’s company and having fun. Go out and explore something new together, take it lightly, let yourself have some fun and go with the flow.

2. BE INTENTIONAL

Being intentional about all the what’s and why's when you’re dating or in a relationship or a marriage. Always ask and check in with yourself regularly; what is it that you want from this connection? Are you ready and willing to put in the effort? How do you feel about yourself when you’re together? All the important questions to answer before making any decisions, especially at the beginning of dating. If you want something that heads towards marriage, be intentional about the potential partner you are willing to commit to.

3. BE MINDFUL

Being mindful is also important - it boils down to taking care of your and your partner’s emotional needs. With all the stress in life, it is easy to fall into an auto-pilot place, and in the dating scene, it would mean that you’re not fully present with your date or partner. Being mindful is as simple as putting the phone aside while you’re on a date, giving full attention and being mentally and emotionally there for each other - enjoying every moment. It can also mean that if you have a busy work period and can’t spend as much time with your date or partner, be mindful of their feelings and be upfront about how you’d be temporarily unavailable.

4. SPEAK AND ACT WITH KINDNESS AND COMPASSION

This applies to every scenario in life. When you speak and act with kindness and compassion, you’re coming from a place where you are careful with and mindful of each other’s emotional well-being, meaning you’re respectful of each other. Gaslighting, passive-aggressiveness, withdrawal, stonewalling and silent punishment will only build resentment and misunderstanding. Ask for clarifications instead of making assumptions; be curious and grateful instead of taking each other for granted. A simple thank you and a little understanding go a long way.

5. SEEK TO UNDERSTAND

It’s not always smooth sailing in a relationship. Whenever a conflict or disagreement arises, seek to understand each other’s point of view rather than allowing it to turn into a fullblown argument. When we seek to understand, we become curious about the bigger story we might not have been aware of. The lack of information can be crucial to deescalate any disagreement. It also creates a safe space to become vulnerable and bond with each other. From there on, you’ll realise your connection with each other has progressed and shifted into a more secure and intimate space.

6. COMMUNICATE AND VOICE YOUR NEEDS

Can’t stress enough the importance of communicating and voicing your needs. No one can ever know exactly what you want and need in a relationship if you don’t say it. Leave all the mind games or tactics aside, be honest and open, and do all the abovementioned things when you communicate your needs. Instead of holding a grudge and secretly being resentful and angry at your partner for not doing what you would like, say, ‘I would really like for you to do this and that, would you be happy to do so?’ and not ‘up to you.’ Or ‘it’s ok’. Please don’t say it’s ok when you are not. Say what you mean and mean what you say. If you give a seemingly kind answer like ‘up to you’ but have a certain hope of outcome in your mind, say it and ask for it. Be genuinely ok with whatever the outcome is, even if it’s a no when you say, ‘up to you’. You’re only going to set yourself up for heartbreak, anger, and a trap your partner will fall into.

Love is not enough to sustain a relationship or a connection - it takes a lot more on both sides. But if everything is done from a place of love, it makes life easier. So choose people who choose you. THE-INTL

OPHELIA WU FASHION CONSULTANT & JOURNALIST

Like her hometown Hong Kong, Ophelia has a diverse background and upbringing. She moved to Copenhagen in 2019 after 10 years of living in London. Her fashion and journalism career began in 2007 at ELLE Hong Kong magazine, and later on as an online stylist at Net-A-Porter.com in the UK; she has worked with all sorts of creatives, brands and celebrities globally. She now works on everything fashion and communicationrelated. With her love of travelling and places her work brought her to, people she met from all walks of life inspired her to start her own business M for Minimal: a place to raise the awareness of going back to basics through conscious consumption and mindfulness with a touch of spirituality - something she has been practising since her teenage years.

@mforminimal.com

@mforminimal.mfm

@opheliawu

23 FEBRUARY 2023 - WWW.THE-INTL.COM
PHOTOGRAPHS UNSPLASH TEXT OPHELIA WU

CRACKING THE COCONUT OF RELATING TO DANES.

A COLUMN DEVOTED TO DECONSTRUCTING AND DEMYSTIFYING IMMIGRATION AND INTEGRATION IN DENMARK, ONE DISRUPTIVELY UNCOMFORTABLE AND EMBARRASSINGLY TRIVIAL EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN AT A TIME.

LLIKE MANY, I moved to Denmark "for love." Quotation marks because I was always perplexed when my story would get distilled into two words like that. To me, it lacked important nuance. It was as though, in one fell swoop, my very real, very human experience — which involved the high peaks of shared aspirations and the low ravines of heartbreak, and everything in between — could be distilled into a statistic.

We met on a train in Northern Mexico. We fell in love. We intended to spend the rest of our lives together. I got a job offer and a visa sponsorship and moved my entire life to Copenhagen.

Predictably, the love story which brought me here didn't last. I say predictably because I've heard this story so many times from so many internationals in Denmark over the past decade that honestly, it probably is a statistic.

Much to the shock of every Dane who has ever heard this story, I chose to stay. And what I learned in the following years from working and dating in Denmark ultimately led me to change careers and begin to teach emotional intelligence, communication mastery, and the tools to build intimacy* with anyone.

Yes, even Danes.

I read somewhere once that Americans are like peaches, and Danes are like coconuts. We're soft on the outside and hard as a rock at the centre. Danes are tough to crack, but once you get past the thick outer shell, they're liquid in the centre.

This metaphor was an important reminder for me as the years went on because, on the surface, every time I met a new person, it felt like they were the most avoidant person in the world. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't find a way in.

There is a lot of obvious advice about how to get close with Danes, how to experience hygge at the source and build a community here. Learn Danish. Join a club. Have kids and piggy back on their more obvious social connections through school. Get a job. Put down roots here and stay long enough that Danes trust you won't abandon them.

Systematically following these suggestions is not foolproof, though. There is a whole other arsenal of emotionally intelligent ways of showing up that make this whole process of finding your people — and maybe even your person — a lot easier.

1. BE FORTHCOMING

It took me years to understand that, in many ways, Danes approach mak -

ing friends almost the same way they approach dating. If you're interested, someone will need to make a move. Do you have a friend crush? Tell them, see if it's mutual and if it is, invite them to hang out. Leaving things to inference will most definitely keep things on the surface.

What I love most about Danes is that they'll be honest if they aren't interested. So on that note, it's time to get right with any fears of rejection and learn to receive no as the most loving gesture a person can muster. After all, do you want to be friends or lovers with someone who isn't really interested in who you are?

2. BE CONSISTENT

The free spirit in me abhors telling you this, but the reality is that building unbreakable bonds requires continuity no matter where you live. Most Danes aren't going to be available for intimacy with a person who can't keep an appointment or commit. And understandably, very few are interested in becoming close with a person who is only temporarily here.

My way around this as a person who hates planning months in advance? One of my closest friends here was my neighbour. We met at a board meeting for our building, and I overheard her and her husband planning to renovate their bathroom. I had the same plans for mine and proposed we coordinate and share bathrooms. There is no faster track to intimacy than showing up at your new neighbours' front door in your towel. We seldom made plans, but we ran into each other in the stairwell almost dai-

ly and shared meals in our garden when the sun was out. When she went on maternity leave, I made my move, and our daily spontaneous walks during her youngest's naptime turned her from neighbour to friend to kindred spirit in a flash and her young family into my extended one.

3. GET CURIOUS AND LISTEN

Out of all EQ tools I know, curiosity and listening are the most universally effective ways to build closeness with others. And, out of all the places I've been in the world, these two practices are by far the most helpful with Danes. Asking questions that evoke thought, leaving lots of room in the conversation for contemplation, silence, and presence, and paying close attention to the other person and following the natural conversation thread will have them bloom like a rosebud. Soon enough, you'll both be swimming in coconut water together!

Curious questions are not the same thing as an interview. They demonstrate that you're genuinely interested in getting to know someone for who they are and not just hearing the answers to your questions. Paying attention to what they say, how they respond, and listening deeply before responding, has a person feel seen and heard.

And no matter your cultural background, we all need that. THE-INTL

(*Intimacy, by my definition, is not implicitly sexual. Rather, it is a closeness derived from continuity, trust, and emotional and psychological safety.)

ANTESA JENSEN EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE EXPERT, AUTHOR & SPEAKER

American Antesa lives in Copenhagen. In her professional capacity, she works as a coach and teacher with individuals and companies and facilitates the deconstruction, demystification, and disarming of the emotional landscape. As a writer and speaker, Antesa's demonstrable depth in communication mastery pierces through complexity to get straight to the heart of things. Her book, Caught Shining — a memoir in prose, a user's guide for how to live fully in experience — will be published in 2023.

@antesa @antesa

@antesajensen @antesa

@antesajensen.com

"DANES ARE LIKE COCONUTS. WE'RE SOFT ON THE OUTSIDE AND HARD AS A ROCK AT THE CENTRE. DANES ARE TOUGH TO CRACK, BUT ONCE YOU GET PAST THE THICK OUTER SHELL, THEY'RE LIQUID IN THE CENTRE.”

24 FEBRUARY 2023 - WWW.THE-INTL.COM
PHOTOGRAPHS UNSPLASH TEXT ANTESA JENSEN
25 FEBRUARY 2023 - WWW.THE-INTL.COM Good advice Good
22.09.2022 1. Stay at home – If you are ill 2. Wash hands frequently – Or use hand sanitiser 3. Clean regularly – Especially surfaces that are touched by many people
Ventilate your home
Cough or sneeze into your elbow sst.dk/en
habits
4.
5.
FEBRUARY 2023 - WWW.THE-INTL.COM # S T A N D W I T H U K R A I N E # P E A C E F O R U K R A I N E

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