The golden light

Liam Kelly new Writer editor

my favorite ending to a novel has to be the ending of F. scott Fitzgerald’s masterpiece, “The Great Gatsby.” In the final scene of the book, nick carraway sits on Gatsby’s beach, looking forth across the bay towards the flashing green light at daisy’s house. nick reflects on how Gatsby “had come a long way, and his dream must have seemed so close that he could hardly fail to grasp it.” To Gatsby, the green light that he looked longingly toward represented all of his hopes and dreams, all seemingly within reach. night after night, he gazed across the bay, imagining a future that might someday become real.

I first visited notre dame with my family five years ago. Up to that point, I had heard bits and pieces about this supposedly magical place from friends and family, but nothing more. We pulled up to the drive, and I set my sights upon the Golden dome for the first time. It stood proud and majestic against the gray Indiana sky, the image of our Lady looking lovingly down upon all that went on below. A place only in my imagination had now become real.

As I walked around the campus on that cold April afternoon, I was infatuated. I saw a place dedicated to a common mission where I could study, work and live in accordance with my beliefs and with the full vigor of my soul. I saw my future here and liked what I saw. I had found my own green light.

Three years later, when I was starting to apply to colleges, I visited notre dame once more. The dome called to me again and I knew that I had to do everything in my power to come here. before, notre dame had been a far away goal in the back of my mind; now it was my obsession. The Golden dome was on my mind day and night.

After a year and a half of tests and readings and applications, I finally cracked open my laptop to view the decision letter to see I had been deferred. The Golden dome seemed to grow dimmer, its light fading farther and farther away.

I spent the next month carefully crafting my letter of continued interest, scrutinizing over every word and every piece of punctuation. Three more months of waiting followed. march came and with it one more shot at reaching that seemingly unreachable Golden dome. expecting defeat, I opened the decision letter which revealed that I had been accepted into notre dame via the Gateway program. relief washed over me. my dream was now so close that I “could hardly fail to grasp it.”

After a year in the Gateway program, the Golden dome stays shining. I see it every day, standing in all its grandeur above the quiet lake. ever present, ever beckoning. The dome calls, pushing me to work just a bit harder for just a bit longer.

And now, with only two weeks left in the semester, I am finally on the verge of officially reaching the Golden dome, officially reaching everything I have ever worked for.

And what then?

What happens when I do what Gatsby never could and reach that green light, grasp that ever elusive golden dream?

The truth is, I never will.

Working to get into notre dame changed my life. It strengthened my faith, sharpened my work ethic and honed my sense of purpose. And while being at notre dame has been everything I hoped it would be and more, the process of working towards my dream was in fact as meaningful as reaching the dream itself.

Although the Golden dome may have originally represented my aspiration to get into notre dame, it now means so much more than that to me. It represents all that I can aspire to become only if I work hard and do it with God’s help. I may not always reach my goals, but trying for them will drive me forward, push me to be better, bring me places I never would have gone and lead me towards what matters.

Like Gatsby’s dream, “it eluded us then, but that’s no matter — tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther … And one fine morning … ”

You can contact Liam at lkelly8@nd.edu.

The views expressed in this Inside Column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.