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Tuesday, November 23, 2010

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Free taxi service to close for holiday SafeRide will be unavailable this weekend to give employees, vendors time off JESSICA WILDER The Oklahoma Daily

ASHLEY WEST/THE DAILY

A SafeRide cab is shown. The free weekend taxi service operates 10 p.m. Thursday to 3 a.m. Sunday, but will be closed this weekend for Thanksgiving.

Staff Senate updates policies

Students who need a late-night ride around Norman this weekend will not be able to use SafeRide. SafeRide, the university’s weekend cab service that normally operates 10 p.m. Thursday to 3 a.m. Sunday, will be closed this

WIRELESS | AT&T ANTENNAS IMPROVE PHONE SIGNALS

Committee revises grievance policy, rules about university employee removal

MARK MORELAND/THE DAILY

Left: Antennas sit on top of the Oklahoma Memorial Stadium’s scoreboard Monday. AT&T installed more than 150 antennas prior to the Nov. 13 football game against Texas Tech.

CHASE COOK The Oklahoma Daily

The OU staff senate’s ad hoc committee on staff handbook changes voted Monday to OK amended sections and send the book to the OU Board of Regents for final approval. Anil Gollahalli, vice president of OU and general counsel to the OU Board of Regents, said changes were proposed to update the handbook with new policies around OU. The handbook hadn’t been updated for 15 years and new policies implemented throughout the university needed to be taken into consideration, Gollahalli said. Of the proposed changes in the handbook, some of the policies faced considerable revisions, said Ladonna Sullivan, chairwoman of the ONLINE AT staff senate ad OUDAILY.COM hoc committee. The staff dis- » Link: View the pute resolution amended section clause, the pro- of the OU staff cess of handling handbook employee grievances, faced the most revision as the committee made sure it was fair, she said. Initially, any grievances filed were sent to only one person who was in charge of addressing them, she said. “It was unacceptable,” Sullivan said. After some work, the staff senate was able to reach a compromise, Sullivan said. Now complaints will be sent up the chain of command and power diluted, she said. The university’s at-will doctrine required editing to ensure the stability of employees working at the university, Sullivan said. The at-will doctrine states OU can remove employees from work for any reason, as long as they provide adequate notice. Employees are also allowed to seek employment elsewhere for any reason. The committee worked closely with Gollahalli for a few months to ensure that worker job safety and stability were maintained with the inclusion of the at-will doctrine, Sullivan said. “Our concern is that aspect of employment be balanced by university endeavors to make a positive and stable work environment for employees,” she said. Discussion helped the overall changes made to the handbook, Gollahalli said. Sullivan was pleased with the changes as well. She conceded not everyone is going to be happy, but said the ad hoc committee accomplished as much as it could.

weekend for Thanksgiving. “If the university is closed for any reason ... the SafeRide program may also be closed, offering a break for our student employees and vendors of the program,” said SafeRide coordinator Brynn Daves. SafeRide gives rides to more than 500 students each weekend, Daves said. “SafeRide was very helpful just because I probably would not have even been able to make it back to

Top: Engineers placed most of the cell phone antennas under the stands or on top of the upper deck, an AT&T spokesman said.

New stadium antennas boost wireless reception Some students noticed better signal, ability to text during final football home game

where [the antennas] should go, and where they would be most useful,” he said. Some students have already noticed a change in the availability of cell phone service. MEGAN DEATON The Oklahoma Daily “This last game was phenomenal. I got like four bars out of five, and I could text during the game,” To combat cell phone service reception prob- University College freshman Catherine Peery said. lems, AT&T installed a multi-million dollar system Still, other students did not experience an impact before the Nov. 13 OU-Texas Tech football game from the extra antennas. at the Oklahoma Memorial “I did not notice a difference Stadium. from other games, but I’ve never I’ve talked to our engineers, really had a problem with my “I’ve talked to our engineers, and they say the service has phone in the stadium,” acting juand they say the service greatly improved,” said Andy nior Chris Hartman said. has greatly improved.” M o r g a n , AT & T O k l a h o m a Oklahoma State University also spokesman. received new antennas at two lo— ANDY MORGAN, The Distributed Antenna cations, including 92 antennas in AT&T OKLAHOMA SPOKESMAN System consists of 150 antennas T. Boone Pickens Stadium and 24 throughout the stadium. Most in Gallagher-Iba Arena. are hidden out of sight under the stands, or along “Service is much better. Voice calls, text messagthe top of the upper deck, Morgan said. ing and web browsing are all improved,” said Gary “Our engineers decided based on usage patterns Shutt, OSU communications director.

my dorm, at least not safely, without it,” said Honey Lane, SafeRide user and University College freshman. Though SafeRide will be closed, cab companies affiliated with it will not. “OU students are very capable of making smart choices whether or not SafeRide is in operation during the weekend by choosing a designated driver, calling a local taxi or planning ahead of their event or night out,” Daves said.

Judge delays Sharia ruling Temporary restraining order against SQ 755 stands until ruling on its constitutionality TREVOR SHOFNER The Oklahoma Daily

The temporary restraining order issued against State Question 755 was extended until Monday when a federal judge will issue her ruling. SQ 755 prohibits Oklahoma judges from considering Sharia or international law in court decisions. The temporary restraining order was first granted by U.S. District Judge Vicki Miles-LaGrange on Nov. 8, following a lawsuit filed by Muneer Awad, Center on American-Islamic Relations executive director. Awad said he is confident in the case and believes the bill is unconstitutional because it singles out one religion: Islam. The bill was passed Nov. 2 with 70 percent of the vote. The results, however, were never certified due to the temporary restraining order. Prohibiting international law will “likely stifle the willingness of international companies to do business with Oklahoma companies in the future,” political science professor Justin Wert said. Wert said he agrees with Awad’s claim about the unconstitutionality of the bill. “The initiative did, however, serve the political purpose of allowing state Republicans to score an easy victory in the culture wars and turn out conservative voters who might not have otherwise come out to the polls,” Wert said by e-mail.

$1.8M award to fund transplant research at OU Grant also will be used to create treatments for antibiotic-resistant infections DHARA SHETH The Oklahoma Daily

An OU researcher working to fight the human body’s rejection of transplant organs was awarded $1.8 million to further his project. William Hildebrand, OU College of Medicine professor, is one of three recipients of the Economic Development Generating Excellence Policy Board’s grant. The other two recipients, Anne Pereira and Allyson Turnbull, also have OU ties. Each of the recipients will receive funding for their company projects. “Our goal is to turn off the immune response to a kidney or heart

A LOOK AT WHAT’S NEW AT Read about local charities that are collecting donations for the holidays

Generating Excellence funding. transplant without turning off the that OU owns a portion of. Pereira is an OU Health Science body’s other immune responses,” The company serves as a commercial outlet for the discoveries Center researcher awarded $1.8 Hildebrand said. million. Pereira, OU College of Hildebrand described the abil- made in Hildebrand’s lab. Pharmacy associate dean ity to specifically shut off a of research, is chief scisingle immune response entific founder of Biolytix without weakening the Our goal is to turn off the immune response entire immune system as to a kidney or heart transplant without turning Pharmaceuticals, which she said is “a startup the “holy grail of immuoff the body’s other immune responses.” biotech company based nology” and something on intellectual property that can’t be done as of — WILLIAM HILDEBRAND, licensed from OU that is now. OU COLLEGE OF MEDICINE PROFESSOR in the business of makWith this funding, ing novel anti-infective Hildebrand plans to finish The lab studies various immune treatments for treating severe ana technique that will provide heart or kidney transplants for people responses, including harmful im- tibiotic-resistant infections.” The EDGE funding will enable who carry antibodies that would mune responses, in cases such as Lupus, and faulty immune re- Pereira to develop a new antibiotic normally reject a heart or kidney. The process will remove only sponses, such as transplant rejec- for treating severe infections. antibodies directed toward the tions, Hildebrand said. transplanted organ. Hildebrand is not the only READ THE COMPLETE Hildebrand is the chief scientific medical researcher who reARTICLE AT OUDAILY.COM officer of Pure Protein, a company ceived Economic Development

INDEX Campus .............. 1 Classifieds .......... 3 Life & Arts ........... 4 Opinion .............. 2 Sports ................ 2

TODAY’S WEATHER 67°| 53° Wednesday: Thunderstorms, high of 75 degrees Visit the Oklahoma Weather Lab at owl.ou.edu

2 • Tuesday, November 23, 2010

The Oklahoma Daily | OUDaily.com

THUMBS DOWN ›› SafeRide will not be operating during Thanksgiving weekend (see page 1)

OPINION

Jared Rader, opinion editor dailyopinion@ou.edu • phone: 405-325-7630

OUR VIEW

Airport X-rays better than full-body pat downs We’re on the home stretch. Thanksgiving break ought to We fall in line with the 78 percent of Americans, polled provide a well-deserved break from the stress of final proj- by USA Today and Gallup, who support the X-ray scanners, ects, papers and tests as the semester begins to wind down. but say the pat down is a little unnerving. Those opposed to However, if you’re planning on traveling by plane for the both of these procedures have been outspoken about what holiday, you could be taking a break from one headache and they see as a government overreach — or should we say, a walking into another. On Nov. 1, the Transportation Security government reacharound. Administration implemented new preIf you keep up with the latest viral flight screening procedures. YouTube videos, you may have noticed If you haven’t heard what exactly these the “Don’t Touch My Junk” music video, The only solution to new measures entail, let’s put it this way: which was inspired by frustrated flyer keep everyone safe and unless you’ve hidden a bomb in your oriJohn Tyner, who refused full-body pat respect an individual’s fices, it’s not getting on the plane. down after also refusing the body scan at Currently, 70 airports have X-ray scanright to privacy is coming a San Diego airport. Tyner is considered ners that ensure individuals do not carry a hero by many civil libertarians, and his up with a compromise.” dangerous objects on their bodies, and protest has helped inspire an Internet everyone is required to go through these campaign encouraging passengers to rescanners. You can opt out of this procedure, however, and fuse these search procedures. then you are subject to an arguably more invasive procedure While we agree the TSA procedures are awkward and — a full-body pat down. People in airports without these cross the line, it’s hard to come up with an argument against scanners have no choice but to undergo the pat down. the security the government is promising. We hope there

Comment on this column at OUDaily.com

OUDAILY.COM ›› Men’s cross country team finishes 5th at NCAA Championship — highest in program history

SPORTS This week on OUDaily.com

won’t be a repeat of the 2009 Christmas Day “underwear bomber,” Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, who is to thank for the new procedures. The only solution to keep everyone safe and respect an individual’s right to privacy is coming up with a compromise. Willard Wattenburg, a scientist who helped develop the X-ray scanners, has suggested adding a simple algorithm to the scanner’s computer code that would distort the images of citizens’ bodies like a funhouse mirror would. This way, there would be nothing “titillating or exciting about it,” Wattenburg said in a Monday article in Popular Science. Sounds like a decent-enough idea. It would still be an image of your body, but not in a way that reveals how you actually look, and it could still detect dangerous devices. If every airport obtained scanners with this ability, there would be no need for invasive full-body pat downs.

TOMORROW » See notes from football practice

THURSDAY » Read about the tradition of turkey and football

James Corley, sports editor dailysports@ou.edu • phone: 405-325-3666

FRIDAY » The Daily gives keys to Bedlam

COLUMN

Bedlam game encourages crazed fans It seems poignant to call the seasonal rivalry between No. 13 OU and No. 10 Oklahoma State “Bedlam.” After all, “bedlam” is the place where the loonies live, the crazy congregate, and nor mal folks steer clear ‘lest they be infected with that too-human disease of questioning logic and the nature living. But beyond its philosophical quality, “bedlam” also can be described as a place of absolute uproar, chaos and confusion. It is a place where one can easily lose one’s mind. The difference between the traditional definition of bedlam and the great state of Oklahoma’s definition of bedlam is simple: Cowboy and Sooner fans are encouraged to lose their minds. The term has been used to categorize every game, meeting and affair between OU and OSU. The roots of the Bedlam series are grounded in the annual fall test of volition, cunning and power between the two schools. Since 1904, there has been a scheduled football game between the Sooners and Cowboys, and until 1995, fans could not call it a rivalry by any stretch of the imagination.

Ryan Broyles

OU junior wide receiver Ryan Broyles is one of three finalists for the Biletnikoff Award, presented annually to the top receiver in college football. Broyles has 106 catches for 1,309 yards and 12 touchdowns. The Norman native has broken or tied six OU receiving records this season and leads the nation with 9.6 receptions per game.

Oklahoma State sophomore Justin Blackmon and South Carolina sophomore Alshon Jeffery are the other finalists. The Biletnikoff Award will be presented Dec. 9 during the Home Depot ESPNU College Football Awards show in Lake Buena Vista, Fla.

Check out OUDaily.com for a complete schedule of Sooner athletics in action this week

— Daily staff reports

STAFF COLUMN UMN

RJ Youngg

Spring 2011 Dream Course

From the first edition in Guthrie, when the Sooners won 75-0, OU has dominated the series to the tune of 80-15-7 against the Pokes. But to OSU’s credit, from 1995 to 2004 neither team has won more than two games in a row. With the start of the new millennium, the Cowboys have reemerged as a team to be reckoned with in the storied Big 12 South, now more so than ever. Saturday will mark the first time the Cowboys will be ranked higher than the Sooners in any national college football poll going into the Bedlam since 1997. If the Pokes win, it would lead to their first appearance in the Big 12 title game. Bring on the asylum atmosphere, crazed college football fans and clashing colors of orange and crimson. This edition of Bedlam has a chance to be a Homerian epic.

The 14 Foundation raised $34,500 in donations prior to the OU-Texas Tech football game Nov. 13, the OU athletic department announced Monday. A record 160 volunteers worked with the foundation, started by former OU quarterback and current quarterbacks coach Josh Heupel, to collect enough money to provide an estimated 45,000 meals for central Oklahoma families this holiday season. This was the 10th annual Holiday Food Drive. — Daily staff reports

Best Mexican Food

Two for One Tuesdays! Cerveza!

Two for one beer (Domestic or Mexican) with the purchase of a meal!

579-1221

Stay connected with The Daily’s sports desk

@OUDailySports

NOW ENROLLING!!! GEOL/METR 1034.010: Native Science and Earth Systems of North America I Instructors: Doug Elmore, Kevin Kloesel, Mary Jo Watson, and heather ahtone

This dynamic team team-taught taught course course examines Earth Systems using both Indigenous and Western perspectives of science science. Instructors utilize a combination of geology, geology geography, geography meteorology, meteorology and Native American Ame sciences as expressed through art and oral history. sciences, history Scheduled Scheduled speakers include Gregory Cajete Cajete, James Rattling Ra Leaf Sr, Sr Willard Sakiestewa Gilbert Gilbert, and Steven Semken Semken. Lecture: Tues/Thurs 1:30 – 2:45 Two labs available: T 33-4:50 4:50 -or -oror- W 3:30-5:20 3:30 5:20

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For more information, ormation, contact heather ahtone 325-8560 325 8560 or h.ahtone@ou.edu h ahtone@ou edu

Information coming soon about this Speaker Series that will be free and open to the public!

Meets Gen-Ed requirement for Natural Science w/lab (4 credits)

— RJ Young, journalism grad student

Coach’s foundation raises money for about 45,000 holiday meals

1000 East Alameda

Broyles named finalist for college wide receiver award

Gift Guide will appear as an insert in The Oklahoma Daily on Nov. 29.

days until giftguide 2010

Gift Guide is a publication of OU Student Media, a department in the division of Student Affairs.

The Oklahoma Daily | OUDaily.com

Tuesday, November 23, 2010 • 3

CLASSIFIEDS

J Housing Rentals

Announcements

PLACE AN AD Fax: 405-325-7517 Campus Address: COH 149A

Phone: 405-325-2521 E-mail: classifieds@ou.edu

Bobby Jones, advertising manager classifieds@ou.edu • phone: 405-325-2521

HELP WANTED

SPECIAL SERVICES

Traditions Spirits has immediate job openings for HOSTS, BREAKFAST HOSTS, BREAKFAST SERVERS, ROOM SERVICE and a SUPERVISOR at Autographs Sports Bar, HOUSEKEEPERS, LAUNDRY, BELLMAN and an ACCOUNTING ASSISTANT at Riverwind Hotel, BEVERAGE SERVERS, SUPERVISORS and a COMMISSARY ATTENDANT at Riverwind Casino, BARBACKS and BEVERAGE SERVERS at Newcastle Gaming Center, and MANAGERS, SUPERVISORS and COOKS at Black Jack Grill located inside Newcastle Gaming Center. Please apply in person at Traditions Spirits Corporate Office. Directions: Follow Highway 9 West past Riverwind Casino, travel 2 miles, turn right on Pennsylvania, take an immediate left onto the service road 2813 SE 44th Norman, OK 392-4550, online at traditionsspirits.com

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DEADLINES Line Ad ..................................................................................3 days prior Place line ad by 9:00 a.m. 3 business days prior to publication.

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Display Ad ............................................................................3 days prior Classified Display or Classified Card Ad Place your display, classified display or classified card ads by 5:00 p.m. 3 business days prior to publication.

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POLICY The Oklahoma Daily is responsible for one day’s incorrect advertising. If your ad appears incorrectly, or if you wish to cancel your ad call 3252521, before the deadline for cancellation in the next issue. Errors not the fault of the advertiser will be adjusted. Refunds will not be issued for late cancellations.

Taylor Ridge Townhomes 2 Bdrm, 2.5 Bath, Fully Renovated Townhomes near OU! Pets Welcome! • Call for current rates and Move-in Specials!!! Taylor Ridge Townhomes (405) 310-6599

We’re looking for someone to join our POSSE team to Partner, Organize, Share, Support, and Encourage individuals with disabilities in the Norman area. Must pass background checks to include a clear driving record. Call Hope Community Services at 580-226-0080 for an application, or email laura_holb@sbcglobal.net

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Classified Display, Classified Card Ad or Game Sponsorship

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YOU are responsible

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The Oklahoma Daily will not knowingly accept advertisements that discriminate on the basis of race, color, gender, religious preference, national origin or sexual orientation. Violations of this policy should be reported to The Oklahoma Daily Business Office at 325-2521. Help Wanted ads in The Oklahoma Daily are not to separate as to gender. Advertisers may not discriminate in employment ads based on race, color, religion or gender unless such qualifying factors are essential to a given position. All ads are subject to acceptance by The Oklahoma Daily. Ad acceptance may be re-evaluated at any time.

www.wildcareoklahoma.org

By Bernice Bede Osol

Tuesday, Nov. 23, 2010 SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) - If you carefully analyze a sticky situation from every angle before making a judgment call, you’ll make the right choice. Indecisiveness on your part would be counterproductive.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) Maintain whatever control you can muster over an important arrangement that you have with associates, especially if someone in the group is causing an unwelcome disruption.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) - The moment you discover you aren’t getting what you know you’re entitled to, speak up and defend your position. The oversight can then be quickly corrected to your satisfaction.

CANCER (June 21-July 22) Matters of a secret nature might be the source of your discontent, when someone tries to wrestle the goods out of you. Don’t be tricked into saying something you shouldn’t.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) - It’s to your advantage to keep everything on a friendly, sociable level, even in your business-related affairs. Convivial exchanges are more likely to gain what being rough won’t.

9 1 8 5 7 8 1

4 9 1 7 8

5 3 2 8

3 2

2 9 1 6 7

9 5

Previous Solution 5 7 6 3 9 1 8 4 2

9 3 8 2 5 4 1 6 7

1 4 2 7 6 8 3 5 9

8 9 7 4 3 6 5 2 1

4 6 5 1 7 2 9 8 3

2 1 3 9 8 5 6 7 4

7 8 1 6 2 9 4 3 5

3 5 4 8 1 7 2 9 6

6 2 9 5 4 3 7 1 8

Monday- Very Easy Tuesday-Easy Wednesday- Easy Thursday- Medium Friday - Hard

Instructions: Fill in the grid so that every row, every column and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 through 9. That means that no number is repeated in any row, column or box.

PISCES (Feb. 20-March 20) - An interesting turnabout could be in the offing when someone you feel obligated to assist ends up being the one who helps you out the most. Life is funny that way. ARIES (March 21-April 19) Events might intervene when you least expect it, and take care of a problem you thought would be a nuisance to deal with. It proves that keeping your head pays off. TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Something that has been working against you might make an abrupt change and start turning in your favor. Chances are it will have something to do with your job or career.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) - It’s important that you consistently deal from your strengths instead of weakening yourself by making a concession. If that becomes necessary, make sure you get its equivalence back in return. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) - You’ll be far more successful working directly with authority figures than you would with any of their lackeys. Hold your ground when it comes to demanding to see the boss. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) - Know the difference between taking a well-calculated risk and a foolish gamble. If you can perceive the fine line, you will have far greater chances of coming out ahead of the game. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) - An unexpected change that comes out of nowhere is likely to be the source of your chagrin. However, it you have strong, positive thoughts, you’ll make it turn out just fine. forgo wasting time

ACROSS 1 Red Riding Hood’s nemesis 5 Greek writer of fables 10 Not drooping 14 Ab follower on the Hebrew calendar 15 Dance that originated in Cuba 16 Indian princess 17 Boris and Lon’s contemporary 18 Genetic attribute 19 Soprano’s solo 20 Attempts a quick escape 23 Legendary soul-seller 24 Plant once used as a laxative 25 Ballpoint insert 28 Does something 30 Chapters of history 31 Happen as a consequence 33 Quilting event 36 Finishes a four-man race 40 Trevino of the links 41 Excessively enthusiastic 42 Step in a chess game 43 It may be hard to resist 44 Poked fun at

46 Completely ridiculous 49 Embarrassing episode 51 Dismounts perfectly 57 A or B, on a cassette 58 Sharpener 59 Heavy horse cart 60 Nights before events 61 Indian state bordering Bhutan 62 Dubai leader 63 Thomas Hardy’s Durbeyfield 64 “Superbad” extras 65 Have the chutzpah DOWN 1 Sergeant Friday portrayer 2 Bar at the dinner table, perhaps 3 Temporary calm 4 Sole, e.g. 5 Dodger descriptor 6 Modern Old World money 7 Hurt a little 8 News item that often includes a person’s age 9 It may be worn in the woods 10 Off-season moves 11 Brother of Moses 12 Strike force? 13 Pageant

crown 21 Mineo in movies 22 Glyceride, for one 25 Nonfiction, e.g. 26 Seaside raptor 27 Meet head-on 28 Pale-looking 29 Pool player’s stick 31 To be, in Latin 32 Unnamed degree 33 Shapeless movie monster 34 Wasp’s nest site, perhaps 35 Gazed upon 37 Man-eating monsters 38 Toupee 39 Traveling with soldiers, as journalists 43 Word

introducing an alternative 44 Makes more bombs 45 Place to stay the night 46 Miniature photo, maybe 47 Too trusting 48 Staff assistants 49 Word with “common” or “horse” 50 Unsullied 52 Definitely not this 53 Extinguisher attachment 54 “___ la Douce” (film) 55 Dipilatory brand 56 “Did ___ and gimble in the wabe” (“Jabberwocky”)

PREVIOUS PUZZLE ANSWER

IN THE TOOL BOX by Dennis Mooney

(Editors: For editorial questions, contact Nadine Anheier, h i @ li k )

HOROSCOPE

Universal Crossword Edited by Timothy E. Parker November 23, 2010

4 • Tuesday, November 23, 2010

The Oklahoma Daily | OUDaily.com

LIFE&ARTS

Dusty Somers, life & arts editor dailyent@ou.edu • phone: 405-325-5189

COLUMN

Make Thanksgiving memorable in 8 steps Thanksgiving is almost here — the holiday you only understood after taking U.S. history, and even then, you still get confused as to why it’s legal to celebrate it. But like most inherently American things, we have found a way to drink, spend and profit our way out of any significance this holiday could have ever had. Though we only get about three days off of school, you would be surprised how much you can get done in a long weekend. Something about time-managing my social life really puts me in that seasonal spirit. What will help you navigate your total domination of this festive time? The ultimate turkey weekend checklist. Make a relative cry Stay away from your mom though, because chances are, she is near sharp utensils and hot pans. Go for an obnoxious aunt or cousin. Their views about media are wrong, and that is because they are ignorant. It is your job to tell them that. Grandparents are another option, because they will never remember it happening and will still slip you $20 before you leave. Make out with an old high school classmate All of those nerds totally got hot and totally got you three shots of Rumplemintz. Think of all the people you get to text about this. Note:

Do not give him/her your number, because you will be back again for Christmas and trust me, this is a onetime deal. Participate in Black Friday Head to Target/Best Buy/ Amini’s Galleria and load up a cart of Harry Potterthemed Bratz dolls/pink Xbox Kinects/OU foosball tables, and then hide all of it in the family-sized bathrooms in the back of the store. Suck on that, capitalists! Give your siblings — younger and older — golden nuggets of advice Feel free to betray them later on in the weekend when you join your mom in a full-fledged attack on their weight-gain issues. Pilfer baked goods and devour them later, alone Buy a movie on your parent’s cable box while you do this, and make sure it is one you could easily pin on your brother’s girlfriend if your father asks you about the mysterious charge. “What? I hate anything with Anne Hathaway, Dad!” Fabricate an elaborate lie about post-graduate plans Utilize buzzwords like “networking,” “cover letter” and “this economy.” I once told my uncle that I had an interview at Dunder Mifflin and he raised his eyebrows with intrigued approval.

STAFF COLUMN MN

Caitlin Turner

Make a pathetic attempt at fitting into your prom dress or your sister’s prom dress College is the time for experimentation. Take a nap with the family dog or cat Hell, take five naps and blame it on the cuteness of the animal. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! — Caitlin Turner, letters senior

Stay connected with The Daily’s life & arts desk on Twitter

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