Stress coping

Maintaining a healthy relationship from 964km away

Pixabay A person reaching through a laptop screen to shake hands with the person sitting at the laptop.

Long distance relationships are hard, especially when you live 964km away from your best friend. The drastic change from seeing each other every day to not seeing each other for a year has been really hard on our relationship as best friends. For both Reese and I, we have been eternally online this entire year both working and learning from home. While still trying to balance family, work, school, and well…life in general, it has been a challenge to maintain our friendship this past year. By outlining our own experiences, we hope that you can take our five-step friendship survival guide and apply it to your own friendships. 1. Set aside time to talk/connect

Although profs seem to believe that online learning has given students more time, that’s just not true. Since moving home, I have begun working full-time and volunteering on top of my heavy course load. This makes it hard to answer the phone whenever Gillian calls. We have had to set aside time to connect by literally scheduling it in the calendar. Making time for my bestie will always be a priority, even when it imposes upon my 9 p.m. bedtime. 2. Make plans for when you’re together as something to look forward to

Now is the prime time to plan and scope out new activities for when you can visit your best friend. Currently, Reese and I have looked into winery tours on trips when she comes to visit me. There are also museums and music festivals we both want to see and experience with one another. 3. You have to get creative (ways of communication without actual communication)

Sometimes calling and texting just won’t do it, and you need a funky fresh way to communicate. So far, we have sent letters back and forth, which are wonderful keepsakes that will be held forever in my treasure box. Email them Calendar events on Google Meet and send them cringey spam memes. We are both in the same book club on Facebook and we are doing a Survivor Running Challenge later this month. While we live in separate provinces now, we still find ways to be involved with one another like we were last year. 4. Make time to see each other IRL

A world where you can just drive into another province and hug your best friend 8 hours later seems like both a distant memory and a dream. The last time I saw Gill was when she backed into a phoneline poll in my backyard, almost a year ago. The last time I hugged my favourite person was a year ago – wow. COVID permitting, make time to hold your bestie in your arms, cry like babies, and (again) take no pictures because you are having so much fun. 5. Adjusting to a new normal

We’ve all spent a year normalizing the unimaginable and adjusting to a new way of living. If someone would have asked me a year and a half ago what the worst possible thing would be, I would have said being 8 hours away from Gilly – yet here we are, and there is no end in sight, and I will not be coming back to the U of R. Gill and I are learning how to survive a permanent long-distance friendship, and I can verify that it sucks – but for the right bestie, it’s so worth it.

reese estwick & gillian massie

staff writer & web writer

8 stress-reduction tips for students

Finding alternative outlets for that build-up of anxious energy

The instinctive suggestion – eat your weight in carbs and sweets – is one your body only lets you get away with for so long (yet it feels like something to be enjoyed while it can be, if you ask me). There is some science suggesting that thinking of eating, and later eating your favourite food will genuinely help you feel better.

Another suggestion is to discuss your problems with a therapist, one with whom you feel most comfortable. You could also talk to a willing and empathetic friend, sibling, parent, pet – even Siri is available if you really need an objective view. However, if you find that you’re experiencing distressing feelings, thoughts, or actions, taking the time to speak to a professional is normal – in fact it’s encouraged, and can be very beneficial.

My third suggestion is to spend time in nature in whatever way is safe and most comfortable for you. If it’s going out to a cabin by a lake, going for hike in the forest, a walk in the park, or even watching nature documentaries from the comfort of your couch if you’re more an indoors-type person. You can be as creative as you like with this one.

Speaking of creativity, that’s another way to relieve stress: create something. Paint a picture, draw, write, practice programming, build, tinker around with a machine, practice Tik Tok dances if you must (please try something else first, though…please).

On that note, removing yourself from social media for some amount of time can be a good idea as it leaves you with less distractions, less comparing yourself to others, and less guilt about being unproductive.

If you find yourself still needing some sort of distraction though, music is a good outlet for such an occasion. I always encourage singing or dancing. Yes, even if you’re bad at it, and especially if you don’t like your roommates or neighbors anyway – they can put up with it, right? If you like them and you sound or look like a dying kangaroo… you might have to work a little harder to find the alone time to embrace this suggestion, but it’s worth a try!

If your stress is due to poor work-life balance, there’s always personal and sick days to use up. Your co-workers and boss can manage for a day, right? Asking for reduced hours if possible or reducing your course load in school is another idea. Depending on what field you’re in there can be work co-ops where you work for a specific time frame while having the option of taking minimal classes while you do so. Then there’s less work, less class, and you gain experience in the field you’re going to school for – sounds like a win.

If your stress level is due to your course schedule and the workload, just burn your syllabus; you can’t stress about deadlines now, you’re welcome! On a serious note, do your research, and look at the reviews about your potential professors or places of employment. If all the reviews are terrible, the employee turnover rate is abnormally high, or taking certain classes or jobs means working nonstop for 10+ hours a day, it’s not going to be healthy. Proactive actions and planning stress-reducing activities should be done whenever possible if this is an unavoidable scenario for you, as it is for some students.

rayanne gwilliam

contributor

graphics

editors: sarah carrier, kate thiessen graphics@carillonregina.com the carillon | april 1 - april 15, 2021