9 minute read
FAMILY LIFE
Mental Health isn’t something we only need to talk about when there’s a problem or a crisis - it needs to be something we talk about as frequently as we discuss our physical health. We teach children to eat “healthy foods” for their physical wellness and growth, but what about their minds? Promoting mental clarity, peace and calm should be as much a focus of dinner table conversation as food.
Begin with setting reasonable expectations. The daily recognition that all days have ups and downs - that’s a natural flow. A Yin and Yang, per se. There is hardly such a thing as a “perfect day” or a “bad day”. At Oak Learners, we take 15 minutes at the end of each school day to reflect with our students on some great things that happened that day and some things they would like to have gone better in the future. This realistic reflection and goal setting helps our students understand that they are in control of how they view their day and promotes resilience by recognizing that we can always find the “good” in every day and every situation.
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Listen. Acknowledge. Reflect. When things do go poorly and our children are feeling sad, discouraged, hurt, or self-blame, it’s important to take time to listen to and validate their feelings. It’s okay to feel these emotions, they are natural reactions. But the more important discussion comes with what to DO with these emotions and how we act on them. At Oak Learners, we demonstrate these choices by modelling appropriate “self-talk” and how to choose a coping strategy for dealing with the current situation.
For example, many of us are dealing with KELLY FARRELL
Director at Oak Learners; a private alternative school in Mimico located at 394 Royal York Rd. / 416-820-5233 www.oaklearners.ca
loneliness these days. A conversation with a crying child who misses their friends might go as follows: “Let’s talk. I can see you’re very upset/ discouraged/disappointed at not being able to see your friends right now. That’s a very natural reaction to this situation. It’s very hard to be away from people we love. Sometimes, I also feel sad and I miss my friends, too. When I feel that way, I like to <insert strategy>. What do you think might help you feel happier right now?”
Connection and resilience come from seeing the people around us have healthy ways of processing and coping with difficult emotions. Don’t think you have to be a superhero in front of your child - show them your emotions and show them healthy ways of coping and moving forward. Promoting positive mental health is one of the greatest skills we can ever teach our children.
To learn more about how Oak Learners promotes confidence and resilience in children, visit our website at www.oaklearners.ca.
Happy Happy F er’s Day F er’s Day
from your friends at from your friends at
AMANDA KIRKLAND
“You cannot always control what goes on outside. But you can always control what goes on inside.” - Wayne Dyer
Many of us are struggling to maintain our mental well-being during this coronavirus pandemic.
You should have gotten up an hour ago when the alarm went off, but you instead stayed in bed and turned to your laptop. You did not seem to be able to get out from under the covers, much less face the dark cloud you have again awoken to.
This mood was triggered by the anxiety of the looming possibility of yet another announcement this afternoon that the “Stay at Home” order had been extended once again.
Some days, you need to give yourself grace. Some days, it is okay to just check out and take the day off, just for yourself. I will say this to you. Nothing is going to happen to you today that you can not handle.
These past 15 months we have lost a lot of things/ people/dreams. We have had enough already. At any moment you can choose joy, love, and gratitude. Or you can choose anger, resentment, and powerlessness.
When you move to gratitude, you instantly move things into your energy that you will become more grateful for. This alone will lift your spirits, giving you new focus through a clearer lens making you see things through fresh eyes.
You will be grateful for where you live and the people in your life. When you change the way you see things, the things you see change! It is invigorating.
Change how you hold and respond to your emotions and you will find that you have more options than you thought you had.
Take time to relax. Relaxing is one of the little joys of life. We can learn to take time from our busy day to chat with a friend, take a hot bath, or spend a few moments sitting alone under a tree. The busier we are, the more we need to take time to relax.
When we rest, we stop fussing about the outside world. We find out how we are doing inside. Our minds calm down. We put busy thoughts aside.
So, wherever you are today, know it is okay to “take a day off” and give yourself a break when you need it. Life is far from perfect so why should you have to be.
Hang in there! Pause. Breathe. Reflect. Connect with others and keep to a healthy routine.
Be kind to yourself and others and reach out for help if you need it.
For now, signing off from a place of calm, joy and love.
AMANDA KIRKLAND
Personal Development Coach www.amandakirkland.com
I am a Personal Development Coach. I help A Type women break through their sh*t without hundreds of hours of therapy. I will guide and support you in creating a healthy mindset and habits that will bring a positive impact to your life, often using my own experiences as a reference point. If you would like to hop on a call to hear more, please reach out to me at amanda@amandakirkland.com or visit www.amandakirkland.com.
What to Know If You’re a First-time Homebuyer
Shopping for a first home can be fun and exciting, but it can also feel like a daunting discovery process, with crucial issues and important steps cropping up around each new corner. To help educate those who haven’t had much exposure to the home-buying process, here are a few tips and ideas that are sure to benefit first-time buyers.
Start by surveying your financial well-being.
Begin with your savings. Have you been able to stash away an emergency fund equivalent to three or even six months’ worth of salary? Do you have enough left over to put towards a down payment?
Second, take a look at your spending. Build a detailed budget that includes your income, all your monthly costs, and any debts you may have. The goal is to find out how much you can reasonably put towards a mortgage each month, as well as other house-related costs. Once you know the precise state of your financial well-being, it is time to figure out how much house you can afford.
You’ll also want to check your credit score, as this will affect the interest rate you’ll be able to get from mortgage lenders. If your credit score is low as a result of outstanding credit issues, it’s best to deal with these before househunting.
Consider borrowing from your RRSP.
Depending on the state of your finances and the urgency of your housing needs, you may choose to borrow from your retirement savings to put towards a down payment. The Home Buyers’ Plan lets first-time buyers withdraw up to $35,000 from their RRSP to contribute to the purchase or construction of a home. There’s no tax penalty on the money you withdraw, and you’re required to pay it back to yourself within 15 years, starting two years after the withdrawal.
If both you and your spouse qualify as firsttime buyers, you can each make a withdrawal and contribute a maximum of $70,000 from your RRSPs towards a home build or purchase. provide certainty because neither the interest rate nor the size of your payment will change for the entirety of the term, usually five years. With variable-rate mortgages, your rate and payment might grow or shrink based on external factors beyond your control. Variablerate mortgages tend to be lower than fixedrate mortgages but come with potential risks.
Ideally, you’ll find a lender who pre-approves you before you go house hunting. Basically, this means you agree to the terms of a mortgage before finding a property to use it on. Sellers prefer buyers who are pre-approved because it reduces the risk of a deal falling apart.
Ask where you see yourself in 5-10 years, and how you’re going to get there.
Moving is time-consuming and costly so the less of it you have to do, the better off you’ll be. Before you purchase a property, think about how well it fits your lifestyle now, and how it fits the life you envision in the years ahead.
If you’re buying a fixer-upper, or perhaps a place where the kitchen or bathrooms need modernizing, do you have a plan to save for the cost of a renovation? How happy will you be living in the existing home until you can afford to upgrade it?
This article is not intended to provide financial or financial planning advice, please call or email Moya Financial and they will be more than happy to chat with you.
Finding the right home takes time and effort. Finding the right mortgage doesn’t.
Contact Moya Financial today!
Look for a lender.
Shop around between different financial institutions and mortgage brokers in your area to see who can offer you the best interest rate
There are two main types of mortgages: fixedrate and variable-rate. Fixed-rate mortgages
725 Brown’s Line, Toronto ON M8W 3V7
Call: 416 252 6527 Email: loans@moyafinancial.ca
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