Growth under pressure

UNDER

MEMBERS OF MCLEAN’S LGBTQ+ COMMUNITY CONTINUE TO THRIVE DESPITE ADVERSITY

Isabella DiPatri Managing editor dania reza assistant Design Editor-in-chief Natalie vu news editor philip rotondo Managing editor

From a young age, queer people—an umbrella term for those who are not cisgender (within the male-female binary) or heterosexual—can face confusion about their identities and how they fit into a hetero- and cis-normative society. Sometimes, they are not able to be open with their parents, friends and other loved ones out of fear of rejection and discrimination, leaving them to navigate their identity alone. Self-discovery in queer youth is immensely individual. The acquisition of educational resources and, perhaps more importantly, finding community is a process that all members of the community experience uniquely.

There is a close-knit queer community at McLean, made up of students from diverse backgrounds. These students face daily challenges to their identities.

“We lack things like gender neutral and queer inclusive [Family Life Education], promotion of safe queer sex and education that not everyone is cisgender, not everyone experiences romantic and sexual attraction,” said senior Casey Calabia, the president of McLean’s Gender and Sexuality Alliance (GSA). “[We essentially] have no basis for these things, and what basis there is is really surface-level and not well executed.”

The central institution of McLean’s queer community is the GSA, a student-run organization in which LGBTQ+ students socialize and participate in civic engagement.

“[The GSA’s work includes] what we’ve done to educate people on queer issues. There’s also the equally important social aspect,” Calabia

said. “Having a group of queer people and being acknowledged officially by the school [is important]. It can be iffy even in a lot of places in Virginia.” Many members of Virginia’s queer community felt they were under direct attack when the Virginia Department of Education (VDOE) introduced new model policies regarding transgender students. The policies, which were proposed on Sept. 16, contain guidelines that prevent students from using their preferred name and pronouns without parental consent. WHEN THOSE TRANS In addition, the guidance obligates teachers to “out” queer students to their parents, or MODEL POLICIES CAME tell them about their children’s identities even though they may not be supportive. OUT, IT LIT A FIRE McLean’s queer community united against UNDER EVERYONE TO the proposed policies, organizing a walkout to protest them on Sept. 27. The protest UNITE TOGETHER.” included the GSA and representatives - SETH LEBLANC from the Pride Liberation Project (PLP), a student-led organization that advocates for GSA SPONSOR LGBTQ+ students in Fairfax County and throughout Virginia. “We have a lot of students who really are dedicated, and I think their drive for doing more and more in GSA and trying to spread a message of acceptance is related to the political situation right now,” GSA sponsor Seth LeBlanc said. “When those trans model policies came out, it lit a fire under everyone to unite together, so it’s been nice to see everyone come together over it and take charge.”

How would the Vdoe’s transgender student model policies impact you?

“I want every student at mclean to feel like they belong as they are, and I don’t want any government or otherwise telling any student what they can be called or who they can be.”

“It makes me worried for my queer friends and the power certain people have over so many of us.”

“I could be outed, my safety at home would become questionable, and I’d feel less comfortable at school.”

“It’s basically a free pass for bullying trans youth in schools. Plus, [these policies] could open the door to more LGBTQIA+ oppression in the future.”

“If our school bans the use of the name i choose and the pronouns of my choice, I would feel just as neglected at school as I am at home.”

“Teachers won’t be allowed to use my correct pronouns in class, even if they wanted to.”

QUOTES obtained from ANONYMOUS survey

CASEY CALABIA

CALABIA’S CLIMB: FROM SELF-DISCOVERY TO ACTIVISM

One of the leaders who spoke at McLean’s walkout against the VDOE model policies was senior Casey Calabia, the president of the GSA, who identifies as non-binary and uses they/them pronouns. Throughout childhood they felt that traditional gender labels did not fit them. This feeling became stronger as they approached adolescence.

“Around middle school was when I first thought, ‘Something’s not right,’” Calabia said. “I got upset anytime someone misgendered me or put me into a category that felt wrong for me. It was around that time that I also first realized that I had a crush on my best friend.”

The process of defining their gender identity was a gradual one. Growing up in a world where people are often undereducated about gender non-traditionalism, Calabia found it difficult to articulate their feelings.

“I didn’t really have the exposure to understand what it meant to be genderqueer or to not be cisgender,” Calabia said. “I didn’t even really know what the concept of gender meant in our society.”

Feeling isolated and facing extremely weighty questions about society and gender identity, Calabia turned to the internet for answers.

“Eventually, like anyone in our day and age would, I went to Google and [searched things] like ‘what am I’ and ‘what is happening to me,’” Calabia said. “I discovered, for the first time, what the LGBTQ+ community was.”

At first, Calabia did not feel convinced they fit into the LGBTQ+ community, having spent years developing identity within a society that primarily sees gender as binary.

“My immediate thought was, ‘Oh, that’s cool, but that’s not me,’” Calabia said. “I was sort of in denial… I felt this pressure to fit the image of what everyone else had laid out for me. I was a part of a club called Girl Up, and all these things that were very entwined with me being an amazing girl.”

Calabia spent much of their formative years living in Saudi Arabia, where samesex relationships are illegal and LGBTQ+ rights are extremely limited compared to the U.S. People had to be discreet to find community within an anti-queer climate.

“We would find each other in strange ways, like subtle references to queer media or joking about [finding a] person of the same gender hot and seeing if they agreed,” Calabia said. “Eventually there was a small circle, but we weren’t well connected. We didn’t talk about our queerness because some of us could face legal repercussions. There were serious dangers that were placed on people from home, the government and even from school.”

In the U.S., Calabia was finally able to find a supportive community as their own understanding of their identity developed.

“When I came to McLean I knew that I wanted to identify publicly as non-binary, so on my first day in all my classes I said I went by Casey…[which is] nothing like my legal name,” Calabia said. “That was the first step. Slowly it became me mentioning [that] I’m trans and I’m queer.”

Coming out at home was a more complicated process. At first, Calabia did not tell their parents they were non-binary. Their parents soon realized they were missing something when they heard a coach refer to their child as Casey, and Calabia decided to come out to them.

“[It took] a lot of working with [my parents] to sort of understand why I didn’t always feel the most comfortable with them, how they could learn more about queer things and how I could do better talking to them to develop our relationship without me having to feel pressure to live as someone I’m not,” Calabia said.

HAVING QUEERNESS RECOGNIZED IN SCHOOL GAVE ME THE CONFIDENCE TO BE QUEER IN OTHER SPACES.”

- CASEY CALABIA SENIOR

Although Calabia felt stress working out their home situation, they found comfort and support at school.

“[The difficult] process from my family side has been supported by a pretty vibrant queer community at McLean and in the greater Fairfax County area,” Calabia said. “Having teachers who are publicly out, having an entire club dedicated to queerness, having the new LGBTQ+ Perspectives in Literature class and having queerness recognized in school gave me the confidence to be queer in other spaces.”

Calabia became more involved in the GSA as they noticed areas for improvement in the club’s operations.

“When I first joined GSA, I was quiet and in the corner, and I [only] talked to two people,” Calabia said. “Seeing the work that we did and speaking up about issues eventually grew into me taking on a more active role.”

Through the same process, Calabia rose to prominence in the PLP, spurred on by the VDOE model policy’s release, and played an important role in organizing the subsequent Sept. 27 walkout against the policies. In addition to making a difference in the public sphere, their activism has been closely tied with their journey to becoming more open about their identity.

“The work I’ve done with [GSA and PLP] came from an ambition to be able to express my queerness in a way that I haven’t been able to in the past,” Calabia said.

MX. LE

TATIANA LE CREATES CULTURE OF COMFORT FOR QUEER STUDENTS

Hanging plants, inspiring quotes and pride flags adorn Learning Disabilities and English teacher Tatiana Le’s classroom. Le, who goes by they/them pronouns, is the first openly genderqueer teacher in McLean High School’s history.

While Le takes a laid back approach in regards to how they identify, the development of what pronouns feel “right” is still an ongoing process.

“I usually just call myself queer in terms of sexuality and gender,” Le said. “For a while, I was using bisexual and gender fluid, which is just an umbrella term. For most people, it’s kind of a ‘changeas-needed’ or whatever feels true to [themselves].”

When Le first joined McLean’s staff in the 2021-2022 school year, they used the title of Ms., wary of possible conflict they would face as the only publicly genderqueer faculty member. However, this school year, Le has decided to use the genderneutral title, Mx. (pronounced ‘mix’).

“I feel like I’ve been generally supported here at McLean,” Le said. “I was trained to go by Mr., Ms. or Mrs. When I did my student teaching, I went by Mx., but when I came here last year, I went by Ms. because I didn’t know anyone else that uses Mx. as a title at the school.”

Following a period of experimentation with their title, Le determined that a rigid identity did not fit them and began to pursue a more fluid external identity.

“I just had a moment where I realized at some point that [my gender and sexuality] wasn’t as clear cut to me as maybe it was for some people, and I realized that I was having an experience that is unique to a certain population of people,” Le said. “I thought it was important to give myself that self-validation and give myself that time.” While the VDOE proposal concerning pronoun usage and the privacy of queer students remains in review, Le’s teaching style is based on mindfulness and a willingness to discuss specific issues facing queer individuals. “I am open about my gender identity with students because I want students to realize that I’m a trusted adult,” Le said. “I wasn’t struggling with my gender identity until

IF I HAD BEEN OUTED TO college. If I had been outed to my parents, I would have been disowned in high

MY PARENTS, I WOULD school.”

HAVE BEEN DISOWNED IN As a co-sponsor of the GSA this year, Le has learned a lot from HIGH SCHOOL.” - TATIANA LE LEARNING DISABILITIES & ENGLISH TEACHER simply listening to the members of the community. “[Following the proposal of the model policies], the GSA group chat exploded in a matter of hours,” Le said. “It was incredible actually watching, and I didn’t have the mental bandwidth [in that moment] to think of what I could do and be productive, but the kids were on top of it, and that was incredible.” Le believes that finding a space where individuals feel respected is an important part of discovering gender identity. Le’s approach to respecting students’ pronouns will stay the same if the policies are enacted, regardless of retaliation from the school and county. “I’m not going to out students to their parents,” Le said. “If that’s something that is going to make education or teaching not a viable job for me anymore, that’s a price I’m willing to pay.”

GAVIN GRANT

GRANT GROWS TOWARDS CHANGE IN THEIR COMMUNITY

Sophomore Gavin Grant first started discovering their identity in middle school.

“It was around seventh or eighth grade when I started realizing that no, I’m not a boy,” Grant said. “It’s difficult because most of the time, things beyond just the gender binary aren’t represented in the media.”

Once Grant knew they did not fit into the set gender labels, they spent years exploring their identity.

“It’s weird at first, but there comes a point where you stop caring about what’s normal or not, and you can start caring about yourself and put yourself first, and then that’s sort of where I started coming from,” Grant said.

Coming out at a relatively young age was not much of a struggle for Grant, as they received support at home.

“I was actually getting mail with my mom and I just told her offhandedly because I didn’t think it was a big deal. She looked at me and she was like, ‘oh,’ so she was fine with it,” Grant said. “My dad was a little weird about it at first—he was asking me all these questions about it—but he’s fine with it now.”

While coming out, Grant received support from their teachers and family, but their biggest support came from their friends.

“I have very, very good friends, and I’ve had mostly good teachers, so it’s pretty easy to just be supported by default,” Grant said.

In the GSA, Grant has worked their way up to vice president, where they use their position to advocate for themselves and others.

“They’ve been involved since last year, and just over the course of the year, they just came more and got more involved,” LeBlanc said. “They’ve done a fantastic job and put a lot of heart and soul into it.”

Despite being able to find a comfortable community at McLean, one struggle Grant encounters is improper usage of their pronouns at school.

“Not many people use them right, so it’s usually just my friends,” Grant said. “At the beginning of the year, I’ll tell my teachers, ‘Hey, I use they/them pronouns, please use them for me in class,’ but they just don’t, so maybe they just forget, but my friends usually [use the correct pronouns], which is really good.”

As a non-binary student, the proposed model policies would directly impact Grant.

“Finding out about something that I could have totally overlooked and been oblivious to until it was in effect was horrifying to me,” Grant said.

Grant continues to stay true to who they are and voice their opinions. Under the current FCPS Student Rights & Responsibilities, students are able to change their preferred pronouns without consent from their parents. Grant worked with their counselor to change their gender pronouns.

“The [student] database is going to have to change me,” Grant said. “I talked to [my counselor] Mrs. Otal about my gender change, but if this gets passed we’re going to have to undo that. This whole policy is baffling to me.”

Grant hopes that protesting the policies allowed students who had lost hope to feel empowered and see how they can actively work towards a future in which they can use the gender they identify with.

“I think the protest really brought people together,” Grant said. “It was helpful in showing that we’re not going to accept this.”

IT’S WEIRD AT FIRST, BUT THERE COMES A POINT WHERE YOU STOP CARING ABOUT WHAT’S NORMAL OR

NOT.” - GAVIN GRANT SOPHOMORE

RANGER BALLEISEN

BALLEISEN BREAKS THROUGH BARRIERS WITH ADVOCACY

Senior Ranger Balleisen is one of several queer people who spoke at the protest against the transgender student model policies. Balleisen discovered their queer identity in middle school.

“I started talking to people who were in the same situation as me and realized that there were ways to exist outside of being attracted to a certain gender, so I began to identify myself as queer,” Balleisen said. “There are many other specific labels I could use, but I feel that this one represents me the best.”

Balleisen felt that coming out as queer to students and staff was an easy adjustment as many were extremely understanding.

“Everybody supported my identity, and I think that’s one of the easy parts about coming out in a queer space specifically,” Balleisen said. “Teachers who used my correct pronouns definitely had a positive impact on my mental health. Just knowing that there are teachers and students who support me made me feel great.”

Balleisen is an officer of the McLean GSA. They appreciate that the GSA provides a safe space for the LGBTQ+ community.

“Going to GSA meetings and telling people the name and pronouns that I chose to go by there definitely was one of the first times that I felt truly supported in the McLean community,” Balleisen said. “It made me feel like I wasn’t alone and there were people just like me.”

The VDOE model policies shocked Balleisen. They were concerned about the effects the guidelines would have if implemented.

“I remember hearing about [the policies] on that Friday, and I was terrified,” Balleisen said. “There was a lot of fear for myself and especially for students like me across the state who I knew didn’t have a support system that I do.”

Balleisen is concerned about the ways these policies will affect students throughout Virginia.

“I’m not going to be able to go by the name and pronouns that I choose in my school,” Balleisen said. “I’m more worried about how it’s going to affect other people. It’s going to have a huge toll on the mental health of the students. It [might] kill people. It’s the tragic truth that the students will not have the [same] support in school anymore.”

Soon after the policies were proposed, Balleisen came out to their parents as queer.

“After I heard about the policies, I ended up beginning to talk to some press people, and that became the reason I came out to my parents,” Balleisen said.

Balleisen began to reach out to organizations to advocate against the VDOE policy and spread awareness about the LGBTQ+ community. They also became one of the leaders of the PLP.

“On behalf of the PLP, I worked with the Virginia chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU). We’ve had meetings with people across the state who have been trying to talk to Governor Youngkin to get these policies removed,” Balleisen said.

In addition to advocating across the state, Balleisen worked with senior Casey Calabia to organize the Sept. 27 walkout

JUST KNOWING THAT THERE ARE TEACHERS AND STUDENTS WHO SUPPORT ME MADE ME FEEL GREAT.”

- RANGER BALLEISEN SENIOR

against the proposed model policies.

“We ended up getting about 300 to 350 McLean students to walk out,” Balleisen said. “Casey and I both spoke at the walkout…and it definitely made a huge difference in the community.”

After the walkout ended, the work was not done. Balleisen and their community continued to protest.

“We participated in a rally at the FCPS School Board [meeting], which involved speeches and chants, and [we] ended up talking to some press there as well,” Balleisen said. “We went inside and gave testimonies to the school board members.”

Since the policies were proposed, Balleisen and the GSA wanted to provide a safe space for all trans students at McLean.

“We’re starting a trans-specific portion of GSA to bring more trans advocacy [and] awareness in McLean,” Balleisen said. “These students more than ever need the support from our community.”

Balleisen will continue to advocate for the LGBTQ+ community in hopes of stopping the implementation of the model policies.

“We need direct action—we can’t [just have] platitudes from the school board,” Balleisen said. “We have a couple weeks until these policies go into effect... We will do everything to end this now.”

If you are a member of the LGBTQ+ community in crisis, please call the Trevor Project lifeline at 1-866-488-7376 or text ‘start’ to 678-678