Embracing Challenges and Building Leaders in Fraternity

Greg Boike Chair, Alumni Association Board of Directors – KKΨ

In the spring of 2014, I celebrated my fifth and final year as an active member of Kappa Kappa Psi. As is a rite of passage for impending graduates, I hopped in my car and drove down the road to interview for my first professional job. It was an intense interview that lasted for nearly two hours, but only one question remains in my mind nine years later. Near the end of the interview, the big boss looked across the table and asked, “how did the band prepare you for this job?” I was an unprepared interviewee, but in the spirit of a saxophonist, I improvised through an answer about teamwork and the importance of listening to one another. Sometimes you have to play louder or softer depending on what others in the ensemble are doing. Even if you hit your dot perfectly on the field, you are the one who looks out of place if everyone else is aligned two steps off. Apparently my answer was good enough, and I’ve been working there ever since. What I did not recognize at the time, though, was that my answer was the real key to any future professional success.

Today, as a new generation enters the workforce, I’ve been fortunate enough to be on the other side of the table and hire some other band members and even a fraternity brother of mine. Band members (and especially brothers of Kappa Kappa Psi) can easily stand out in professional workplaces because of the work we have done, the challenges we’ve endured, and the leadership lessons we’ve learned. The reason for this is that soft skills now matter to employers more than ever before. The U.S. Department of Labor calls soft skills the “competitive edge” for young workers in the 21st century workplace. A 2021 op-ed in Forbes Magazine also stated that, “emotionally intelligent teams have a competitive advantage, and … empathy is one of the most important skills to hire for.” If I were to translate those business quotes into our fraternal language, I’d say that the workplace advice for brothers is to, “heed the tale.” With that in mind, it’s worth pausing to note that being a highlyfunctioning band member is challenging. Not everyone is willing to do what we do to make our performances meaningful. Being a Brother of Kappa Kappa Psi is inordinately difficult! There are social fraternities that are likewise charged with loving each other member of the order as a brother or sister, without reservation. There are campus nonprofits and service organizations that do good for their community. There are honor societies that expect members to uphold high standards of achievement in a given field of study. I do not know of another organization that requests or requires as much as we do (except of course for our Sisters in Tau Beta Sigma). And that is amazing! It’s why our organizations stand out as a “crown jewel” on many campuses.

As we build ourselves up as pillars of musicianship, leadership, and service, we find ourselves relying on a firm foundation of brotherhood. But as learning, growing, and changing people, we find conflict and strife in that foundation too. This conflict is challenging, and the struggle is real; but if I could leave the next generation of brothers who prepare to graduate and enter the workforce with one central thesis, it would be the value of embracing those challenges and learning about yourself and others through conflict; for it is through these storms that leaders are built, although the road itself is often long and arduous.

I remember clearly walking around campus teary-eyed thirteen years ago when the chapter’s decision was made to remove my little brother from the membership education process… I remember late nights from twelve years ago writing letters by hand from a thousand miles away to my second little brother as she experienced the struggles of a new brother while the chapter tried to host a Southeast District Convention. I remember making tired and impassioned pleas for more brothers to attend our service projects and song rehearsals and give up some of the precious little free time we had. I also remember a lot of one-on-one discussions— oftentimes we were clearing up disagreements that we had within the circle of our chapter meetings that were sometimes viewed personally and as clashes of personality. I was by no means a perfect brother when I graduated… but as I wept for the last time in a chapter meeting, as we completed our chapter’s graduating senior ceremony and the remaining brothers sang the hymn to our graduates, I realized I had made a worthwhile journey.

This allows me to return to the central appeal of this article: embracing challenges and building leaders. The world of current college students and graduates is markedly different from the one I experienced a decade ago. In no way is this more obvious than by looking at the impacts of the COVID-19 pandemic. When the world went virtual in March 2020, the young minds coming of age in our high schools and colleges were robbed of precious opportunities to work through our interpersonal struggles with face-to-face conversation. We lost the settings by which our teamwork could be tested as we made or did something tangible. As some researchers will now say, COVID-19 stunted our social and emotional development. We now find ourselves at an inflection point—wanting to move forward while still needing to reCharge ourselves in mind, body, and spirit alike.

Again, however, I know of no group better suited to re-stimulate a generation’s emotional growth and leadership development than our college bands. I know of no organization better suited to grow the next great leaders of our communities than Kappa Kappa Psi. Why? Because we are already doing it, and we are willing to embrace challenges and conflict in a way to make us all stronger. Take it from an introverted only child who struggled with friendships all through high school. Even as I finished at the top of my class, that knowledge did very little to make me a leader or a capable coworker. That skill, my friends? It came from time with each of you.