dwelling in the past when the future are bright ”

It’s time to stop losing a battle, it’s time to finally cut the ties. There’s always going to be the mental block, the consuming void in my stomach that causes me to have a shortness of breath; but it’s at a point in my life where I cannot let that consumption continue. There’s a time limit – there’s a limit until the future finally reaches me, and it becomes my present. To me this idea is both horrifying and beautiful at the same time; it’s what keeps life exciting. But I need to win the battles, not succumb to the anxious void that’s forming. I can’t lose myself; the only thing I can afford to lose is the past memories that keep me from wanting to go further.

But how can I do this? Anxiety as a concept isn’t something that could be cured on a whim; it’s a complex issue-with layers and possible remedies, since a cure is nonexistent. What makes anxiety incredibly fascinating is there are multiple ways to handle it healthily. There could be someone who grounds themself to reality, having consistent reality checks on a daily basis; there are people out there who seek meditation to help themself deal with such an anxiousness. What works best for me, however, is recognition and understanding. I strive to understand and wrap my head around concepts academically. That mentality remains the same for my mental health as well. I want to understand my anxiety so I can lose it, leave it in the dust. While it will always be something that I live with, I want it to be an afterthought, something that I can recognize and deal with accordingly.

EDITORIAL IMAGE // CELIA JONES

In a time with so much loss and grief, it’s important to look at loss as a good thing sometimes, and lose the mentality that could be toxic and hinder you from moving forward.