WAIT. What Did the Leader Say?

Dr. June Hall Speaking Foundation drjuneaptacious@gmail.com

Be an “active” listener and then others will want to listen to you as well.

Active means you are engaged in what the person is saying. That includes eye contact, nodding, shaking your head if you don’t understand, facial expressions and body language that connects with the message. If we think about it, why would anyone want to listen to someone who doesn’t show interest in listening and in having a two-way conversation. One-sided conversations are dismissive and unacceptable. "I hear you" will strengthen our communication because you are willing to hear what is said in its entirety rather than in parts. Have we missed our chance to get better? No, it’s not too late to begin the listening process. Of course, we have to do this outside of speaking at meetings or dealing with touchy situations with staff members. Start now by incorporating these two other helpful components.

I get it! Now we’re getting it. Hopefully! In other words, we not only “hear” the words, we “understand” the words. Have you ever just said “okay” even though you didn’t quite know what was being said? At times we heard the words but maybe the comprehension wasn’t clear. That’s when we ask a question to get clarification. To ask a question so that the message is clear is actually a positive part of the communication process. Misunderstanding can lead to frustration and sometimes even conflict. Let’s avoid that.

In addition to asking a question, we can use our own words to repeat what was said. In counseling there is something called reflection. This is paraphrasing what was said to let whoever is talking know “I get it”. Also, in offering words back for clarity, our tone and expression shows we understand. Now we’ve shared that we heard the content, responded with the right emotions, and expressed that what has been said is understood. Of course, every conversation is not based on some emotion, but knowing when we need to show understanding of someone’s feelings will only strengthen our ability to relate and communicate better.

I acknowledge you! Acknowledgement is very high on the Effective Communication scale. Here, we are showing there is value in what we have heard. As a leader, our staff and students want to be recognized. When there is a concern, express understanding of that concern as well as recognize there is value in what is being shared. Even if there is nothing that can be done, offering feedback with an explanation could also be helpful.

Three ways to offer feedback are to respond with transparency, be sincere, and ensure the importance of the listening audience.

• Transparency. Clarify you know the importance of what was said and as a leader be honest with the response. For example, I hear what you’re saying and know where you’re coming from to add healthier items in the café and toilet seat covers for the bathroom. At this time, though, we are putting finances into more staff and don’t have the budget.

• Show sincerity. Family is important. I sometimes feel guilty for not spending enough time with them. Hopefully, all will work out well with your situation. Keep me posted.

• I acknowledge you! As staff, students, human beings, you are important! I appreciate what you do and what you offer is valuable and not taken for granted.

Now we have created support and a reason to listen. That is the bottom line. Actively listen, be understanding, and acknowledge the importance of the audience. In return, our audience now has more positive responses. They want to hear what these leaders, individuals, department heads, etc. have to say because they listen and show genuine interest. And there you have it… the communication process.

2023 National Conference in Hershey, PA

March

16-18, 2023!

Get More Value for Your Campus Programming Event Dollars!

Train your campus activities board, find amazing talent for your programs, and save money for your budget at APCA this year! The APCA National Conference is the most affordably priced national campus activities event in the market, and includes three dinners, two lunches, all materials, admission to all events, and great conference swag. You can also get student programmer certification and much more at this amazing three-day event!

Save HUGE Money by Working with Your Neighboring Schools

APCA Cooperative Buying is a program that gives schools attending the conference the ability to merge their buying power, offering associates a block of engagement dates in a specified time period in exchange for a lower price and sharing of travel costs with other schools.

"We have the most value oriented and effective cooperative buying program in the market," says Dave Leenhouts, the APCA Cooperative Buying Coordinator. "Our software allows schools to visualize all the school budget savings immediately. It's user friendly, and within 30 minutes of the completion of the session, the tour schedules are posted."

Register to get more information at www.apca.com

Stop Gambling on Edited VideosConnect LIVE at APCA Showcases and Exhibit Halls!

Schools can meet new contacts, book attractions for their campus programs, or get great resources at the APCA National Conference. APCA showcases the best in campus activities talent LIVE throughout the event. Showcase times will be marked in the program along with pictures, bios, and pricing of the various artists appearing in the program.

The APCA Exhibit Hall will feature associate members bound by APCA Grievance Procedures™ representing the showcasing attractions, novelty showcases, and an APCA resource desk for Cooperative Buying information.