Family History

Once Removed

Understanding Cousin Relationships

By Glen K. Tolman

While I was growing up my father was very involved in Family History. I learned a lot about my ancestors going back three and four generations. I learned their names and where they were from. I heard my father talk about second, third and fourth cousins and third cousins once removed. At that time, I did not quite understand these cousin relationships. One thing that I did understand was my cousins who were the children of my aunts and uncles. These are my first cousins. Cousins are people with whom we share a common ancestor at least one generation past our parents.

I have found a way to explain cousins that most can understand. I start with first cousins since most can understand this relationship. I ask them to think of a first cousin. I then ask them “Who is the common ancestor for you and your cousin?” Some answer quickly and others puzzle for a minute but then come up with the answer “Our common ancestor is a grandparent.” Having the understanding that our common ancestor for a first cousin is a grandparent, the next steps are much easier.

The next question: “If the common ancestor for our first cousin is a grandparent, who is the common ancestor for our second cousin?” The person inevitably comes up with a great grandparent. This easily extends to understand that the common ancestor for a third cousin is a 2nd great grandparent and for a 4th cousin, a 3rd great grandparent.

Here is a thought to ponder: Can you name all your first cousins? On my mother’s side, we met together often at my grandparents’ home and at their cabin in a nearby canyon so I got to know all eleven of my first cousins from my mother’s two brothers and one

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My father was one of twelve children with eight living to maturity. I have twenty-four cousins on his side. I could not come up with the names of all these cousins. However, using the tools on FamilySearch and Ancestry I was able to remember all their names. I started by looking at the “Descendancy” view of FamilyTree, starting with my grandfather. This showed all my aunts and uncles, all of whom are deceased, and showed ten deceased cousins. I then went to the person view for my aunts and uncles. Family photos plus information on the 1940 and 1950 census filled in the gaps and helped me recall the names of all my first cousins.

We moved to Arizona in 1981 and I am often asked if I am related to Jaren Tolman who was a teacher and principal in Mesa. I would say that we are cousins but I wasn’t sure how close.

I recently checked FamilySearch and found our relationship. Jaren L. Tolman (1919-2015) and my father Glen H. Tolman (1912-2001) are first cousins as they have the same grandparents. These two have over 100 first cousins. Jaren’s son Reed and I are second cousins as we share the same great grandparents. My relationship to Jaren is first cousin once removed. The FamilySearch feature on the “Person View” titled “View Relationship” shows this relationship.

Visit the following web link for cousin explanations: https://www. familysearch.org/en/blog/cousinchart

I believe that many have used the fun option on the FamilyTree app “Relatives Around Me.” This shows how you are related to living people who access the FamilyTree app and select this option at the same time as you. My wife and I are eight cousins twice removed. Our common ancestor is our 7th great-grandfather. Finding how we are related to others often proves to be interesting.

Photos taken from FamilySearch.org Two of over 100 first Cousins: Glen H Tolman and Jaren L Tolman.