Relationships

How To Win FRIENDS!

By Heather Sandstrom

Years ago, I read a great book called “How To Win Friends And Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. It is excellent! I just reread it and it has so many amazing tips to lead to success and how we can improve our relationships with others.

He lists three fundamental techniques in handling people. The first is, “don’t criticize, condemn or complain.” Benjamin Franklin was so diplomatic at handling people that he was made the American ambassador to France. The secret of his success? “I will speak ill of no man and I will speak good I know of everybody.” What a great quality!

Anyone can criticize, condemn and complain, and most people do. It takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving. A great person shows his greatness by how well he treats everyone.

When you talk about your children and your spouse, say something positive about them, especially when they’re listening. Even if they act like they’re not, they will internalize what you say and work to become that person. Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them.

The second quality in the book, is to “give honest and sincere appreciation.”

President Abraham Lincoln once stated, “Everybody likes a compliment.” The deepest desire in human nature is to be appreciated. If we can look for a good quality in another person and sincerely compliment them, it’s amazing how people respond.

My mother was a great example of looking for the good in others and complimenting them. Everyone loved her. She sincerely looked for a great quality in people and told them about all about it. I think her ability to arouse enthusiasm among those she knew was her greatest asset. She really believed that appreciation and encouragement was the way to develop the best that is in a person. She was lavish in her praise, but she truly meant what she was saying.

People put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than they would ever do under a spirit of criticism.

The third way to build relationships is to “remember a person’s name.” The average person is more interested in their own name than in all the other names on earth put together.

A great quote is, “Remember that name and call it easily, and you have paid a subtle and very effective compliment. But forget it or misspell it and you have placed yourself at a sharp disadvantage.”

Most people don’t remember names, for the simple reason they don’t take the time and energy necessary to fix names indelibly in their minds.

Dr. Paul R. Sandstrom | Dr. David W. Edwards

Dr. Paul R. Sandstrom | Dr. David W. Edwards 7448 E.Main St. | Mesa,AZ 85207 | 480.396.8684 | www.drsandstrom.com 7448 E.Main St. | Mesa,AZ 85207 | 480.396.8684 | www.drsandstrom.com

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Some techniques to memorize names:

• If you don’t hear the name distinctly, ask the person to repeat it.

• For unusual names, ask for the spelling.

• Repeat the name several times during the conversation.

• Associate the name with the person’s features.

• Write it down later so you can visualize the name.

• Associate the person with another person you know well.

• Ask the person about the history of how they were named.

By asking about a person’s name you are showing interest in them. By remembering a person’s name, you make them feel special and important. From the waitress to the senior executive, their name will work magic when dealing with others.

You can do little things with great love that win, and keep, friends!

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Little Free Library

Continued from pg. 13

littlefreelibrary.org to register your library and add it to their world map. Next, set up your own book-exchange box. Build your own, or buy one from littlefreelibrary.org. If you live in an HOA neighborhood, you will also need to secure permission from your governing board to display your Library.

Little Free Library is a 501 (c) (3) nonprofit organization. Its mission is to “inspire a love of reading, build community, and spark creativity by fostering neighborhood book exchanges around the world.” Reading is wonderful gift which can be readily fostered with your own Little Free Library.