Sam Bittman &The Third Act Project / The FIve Wise Guys

PROMOTING THE ARTS IN THE BERKSHIRES SINCE 1994 FEBRUARY 2019

THE ARTFUL MIND

THE FIVE WISE GUYS Photographed byEdward Acker

SAM BITTMAN

THE THIRD ACT PROJECT

&

INTERVIEW BY HARRYET CANDEEPHOTOGRAPHY BY EDWARD ACKER

What is The Third Act Project? Sam Bittman: The Third Act Project is an online community of older men (and women, too) from around the country who subscribe to the notion that as long as one can draw breath then life goes on -- productively, comically, often amid great loss. “Don’t Die Till You’re Dead” is the Project’s battle cry. We are the only online resource of its kind.

We inspire one another to become spirited protagonists in our own third acts, filling our lives with what you normally expect to see in the final act of a stage play: The climax of a story and its subplots… tensions brought to their most intense

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moment … and protagonists and other characters left with a deeper sense of who they are.

I curate material from the visual and performing arts designed to trigger conversation. I’m always on the hunt for the words of great writers that while they can often scare the shit out of you sometimes can also inspirit us. I believe that the Project library provides real-world proof that though we inhabit bodies that are getting older, our capacity for intellectual, spiritual, emotional and creative growth remains with us till the end.

Tell me about your TV series, The Five Wise Guys.

Sam: The Five Wise Guys is a show in which a group of older men ranging in age from 69 to 84 (and getting older by the minute!) gather regularly to shoot the breeze – often with great hilarity -- about what’s going on in our lives, our thoughts, our imaginations. We’re in our second season now, and all episodes can be seen on the Third Act Project website (www.thethirdactproject.com) and on CTSB (Community Television for the Southern Berkshires). The wise guys are well-known characters: Matt Tannenbaum, Daniel Klein, Bob Lohbauer, Jeff Kent and me – all of us actors, writers, gagsters, retailers and fires burning! We’ve shot episodes at the CTSB

studio and The Morgan House in Lee; at The Bookstore in Lenox; and at the Mixed Company stage in Great Barrington.

In the current season, beyond riotous gab, we’ve been performing short plays by Danny Klein that are great fun to do and are receiving kind reviews. Danny, by the way, is also a successful author of many books including the bestsellers Plato and a Platypus Walk into a Bar, co-written with Thomas Cathcart, Travels With Epicurus, A Journey to a Greek Island in Search of a Fulfilled Life; and his newly released book, also co-written with Cathcart, I Think, Therefore I Draw; Understanding Philosophy Through Cartoons.

I couldn’t possibly list all the dramatic roles that Jeff, Matt and Bob have played over their careers, but suffice it to say that these boys have earned their acting chops and I am so grateful to all of them for lending their talents to The Five Wise Guys – to say nothing of performing with them.

I’ve written a number of books myself, but they’re long out of print. Of course, I have boxes of them in the attic, so give a holler if you want

one of my gardening books or a thirty year old book on expectant fatherhood! Cheap.

What was the genesis of the Third Act Project? Sam: From a ridiculously early age I was terrified by the idea of death. I don’t know how that fear got planted in me, although I hear that things like anxiety can actually pass along through the genes to the next generation. My father was somewhat preoccupied by the subject. We’d be watching an old movie on TV and he’d murmur aloud to himself that the actors and actresses were dead now. “All of them dead.” You think that might have helped?

From wherever it came I was just way too aware of the shortness of life so early in my own and it stayed with me. I became an insomniac. A darkened room was difficult for me. I slept with the light on. Sometimes I still do.

Fast-forward to my early 60s. I start reading everything anybody of substance had ever written about mortality, in search of a hook to pull me up out of the swamp, you know what I mean? But if I’d hoped the wisdom of the ages would

reconcile me to the inevitability of my own decline, I had another guess coming. I was even more bedeviled by frightening thoughts of mortality than before. My sleep didn’t improve, I can tell you.

But you know how it is sometimes when things backfire on you like that and you can charm yourself into believing that what with all this emotional hullabaloo going on maybe you’re onto something. Maybe your demons are on the attack as their own best and maybe final defense. Keep going, man. Right about then I was invited to group of guys more or less my age to talk about what it feels like to get older, and (uh-oh!) even the final curtain. I think: more sleepless nights ahead but what the hell. We agree that no topic is off the table. For instance, guys want to talk about the changes in their sexual image of themselves, the insistent and terrifying ticking of time, the looming incapacities of old age and, naturally, the Big D or “curtains” as we refer to it at the Project. That was the deal.

And that first weekend in Woodstock was a Continued on next page...

“So a guy falls off a thirty-story building. And as he passes the 15th floor he says, “So far, so good.” -- Matt

Photograph by Edward Acker

THE ARTFUL MIND FEBRUARY 2019 • 17

“It's simply keeping alive that inner spirit so capable still of wonder and tears of joy. It means don't let physical decay dictate mental decline. There are so many songs still to be sung.” -Bob Lohbauer

Photograph by Edward Acker

revelation. Instead of kicking a hornet’s nest, it was like arriving in a safe house where I didn’t have to translate the language of my aging experience. Where nobody was slinging that “60 is the new 40” bullshit. My deflector shields came down. There was non-stop talk, non-stop laughing, steady food, and drink to lubricate the camaraderie and good will among seven men. It was remarkable.

We met again a few times over that first year, each weekend full of schmooze, laughter and warm fellowship. On the drive home one time with the glow of the gathering still alive in me I wondered whether this same kind of invigorating engagement could be replicated in the ether, a website, a place where old guys could connect, exchange ideas about getting older, read stories of the famous and not-so-famous men who lived richly until the end of life. A place you could listen to the music of our earlier lives, formative music, look at great art and photography – literally, the art of aging. And that’s how the Third Act Project was born.

My partner in moving the Project from concept to reality was Bill Davis, a Harvard-trained psychologist and psychotherapist and member of that original men’s group (he calls us Oldies but Goodies). We talked through many approaches, created a mission of service -- to generate among our audience an inspiration to keep going, not to fall for outdated ideas about being older, and present it all in as entertaining a way as we could. I believe we accomplished that.

The content has grown tremendously since we went online three years ago. Now we’ve got the Five Wise Guys who actually set a model for how old guys can get together and yack. We’ve got a music podcast, a regular poetry reading, and you can always find something interesting to watch or read or listen to when you visit. By the way, the original group is still alive and kicking, all seven of us. We get together four times a year.

Sam, tell us who you are, what is your livelihood,

passion, family life like, even, tell us a little about your childhood. Sam: I’m a writer by training (a playwriting degree from the University of Iowa) and profession. My ‘career’ such as it is has included the publication of several books, commercial copywriting, and now back at long last to my first love, writing plays. I’ve got a serial radio drama in the works now that I hope will go into production in the spring. I’ll keep you posted.

Over the last nine years I’ve also worked as a garden and landscape designer under the name of Bittman Boys Edible Gardens, started with my youngest son, Simeon, who is now a phenomenal chef (check out Folklore Foods!). Using my body in this labor of love, being outdoors among plants and trees for eight months out of the year keeps me fit and sweetens my life immeasurably.

And naturally I’m up to my ears in the Project, which I’d definitely call a passion. I’ve started up a model for starting men’s groups within independent and assisted living resi-

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Danny Klein says he thinks of himself as “more craftsman than artist, but my reason for being a member of the Five Wise Guys is simple: for solace and love."

Photograph by Edward Acker

dences. It’s a known fact that men don’t tend to hang out together for the purpose of riffing on how life’s been treating them. We’ve put together a program that launched recently at Kimball Farms in which male residents are invited to watch a screening of a few Five Wise Guys episodes and talk afterwards to the wise guys in person about our experience of speaking openly and honestly about almost anything going on in our lives, even the most intimate topics. This is definitely going to catch on around the county and Commonwealth. Men want and need to talk, I guarantee it!

For me, I’d say that being a wise guy has taught me to find more humor in life and aging than I ever thought was there. It’s funny, really. The longer I live, the more I want to make myself and my pals laugh.

Sam, how did you all come up with the name, The Third Act Project? Sam: Somewhere between 50 and 60 a person enters what is commonly called the third act of

life. Jeff Kent pleaded with me to think in terms of the Shakespearian five-act format so the third act would only mean middle age. Sorry, Jeffy!

It was my former acting teacher Patrick Bonavitacola who suggested calling it The Third Act Project. Through visual and performing art, through music, poetry and the brilliance of the written word, the Project means to inspire older men to be spirited protagonists in their own stories and leave it all on the field, as athletes say.

What would be the artist’s Statement/purpose for The Five Wise Guys, and The Third Act Project? Sam: For me, I’d say that being a wise guy has taught me to find more humor in life and aging than I ever thought was there. It’s funny, really. The longer I live, the more I want to make myself and my pals laugh.

Matt Tannenbaum offers this: “The Third Act Project affirms a joy I think I always knew I had in me; one that I could, and do share with my

children, the rest of my family, my closest friends. “With them it’s a given, it’s where, once “How cool is that” became my go-to expression, I never had to explain myself ever again. “But now, in the third act I find myself -- I don’t want to say ‘examining’ – more, identifying with the good luck in my life, the good fortune, really the whole shebang. “I mean, I even get to enjoy my enjoying this! (How cool is that!)

“I’ll tell you how I feel: I feel like Tom Sawyer watching from up there in the cheap seats his own funeral service, or Emily in the third act of Our Town who wonders aloud Do People Actually Know How Lovely This All Is? “We wise guys do!”

Jeff Kent, aka Mr. Wonderful, agrees: “Being a part of the Wise Guys has enriched and enlivened my life immeasurably. I am very fortu- Continued on next page...

THE ARTFUL MIND FEBRUARY 2019 • 19

nate to have these brothers in my life. It's no exaggeration to say these fellows help keep me on an even keel. We're living in a very mixed up world where a madman is our national leader. The last two years have been a nightmare where fresh horrors are dished up on a daily basis. Without the love of my family and the love and support of my four dear comrades, I would have lost whatever shred of sanity left to me a long time ago!”

What do the Wise Guys think about the Third Act Project’s motto? Sam: Don’t Die Till You’re Dead! I asked each of the wise guys to take a crack at what they think “Don’t die till you’re dead” means to them. Here’s what they said. Bob: It's simply keeping alive that inner spirit so capable still of wonder and tears of joy. It means don't let physical decay dictate mental decline. There are so many songs still to be sung.

Danny: Sinatra nailed it with: I'm gonna live till I die, I'm gonna laugh 'stead of cry. I'm gonna take the town and turn it upside down I'm gonna live, live, live till I die! (Curtis, Hoffman, and Kent, songwriters)

On the other hand, as a student of the great pessimist, Giacomo Leopardi, my consciousness of my mortality doesn't make the Sinatra sentiment easy. As Leopardi wrote: “Death is not an evil, because it frees us from all evils, and while it takes away good things, it takes away also the desire for them. Old age is the supreme evil, because it deprives us of all pleasures, leaving us only the appetite for them, and it brings with it all sufferings. Nevertheless, we fear death, and we desire old age.”

Photograph by Edward Acker

“With them it’s a given, it’s where, once “How cool is that” became my go-to expression, I never had to explain myself ever again.”

-Matt Tannenbaum

Jeff: What that means to me is simple: As long as I remain physically and mentally capable (Never mind you guys!), I will strive to remain intellectually curious, emotionally open and empathetic to everyone. To quote Dylan Thomas, ‘Do not go gentle into that good night,/Old age should burn and rave at close of day;/ Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

With coffee in hand, I like to think and plan out my day before I officially rise n’ shine. What thoughts occupy your mind in the morning? Sam: It depends on the time of year. In my landscaping and gardening season, I noodle about the weather. Did it rain during the night? How wet is the ground? Are the fruit trees getting too much moisture and humidity (I lost a ton of peaches to mold this past summer, and the apple crop kind of sucked as well.)

Will I make time to write today? As I mentioned earlier, I’m working on a radio-play for production in the spring (it’s going to involve the wise guys and other actors) so even before I’m out of bed, I’m wondering what my characters are

“Milk every drop of life that you can … and when you can’t do that anymore, it’s time to go.”-Sam

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going to be up to today.

Age is just a number. Agree or disagree? Sam: Yes and no. On the one hand, it has a lot of meaning for a ton of people who experience from time to time the sudden terrifying stab of recognition that, in third act terms, life is one scene closer to the end of the play. Uh-oh. On the other hand, it only signifies a period of time one has been alive; and the number attached to that – in my case 75 – is meaningless with respect to the intensity of how I live my life. Hell, Claude Monet could hardly see in the last years of his life and he still made great pictures. Says Wise Guy Danny, “I don't agree at all. ‘To every thing there is a season.’ Ecclesiastes 3 expands and explains. Old age has a meaning of its own.”

Sam, where do you guys meet to hang out? And where for shooting episodes of The Third Act Project? Sam: I know Matt Tannenbaum’s Bookstore, in Lenox, is an ideal place to meet! Now he is one busy dude. But then again you all are, right? We actually shot two episodes of the current season at The Bookstore, and we had a lot of fun doing it there. Plus Matt supplies the wine from his Get Lit wine bar, and that always helps. We shot a couple episodes last season at the Morgan House in Lee, and people liked that. Of course we’ve shot a number of episodes at the studio of CTSB in Lee. And we had a ton of fun filming Danny’s “Five-Letter Word” at Mixed Company in G.B.

When we meet for dinner just to catch up, not to shoot, we’re all over the place -- Brava, Frankie’s, Alta in Lenox and Prairie Whale and Koi in Great Barrington. We brought in dinner from Koi one night recently to spend time with Bob at the rehab center where he was recovering from surgery. That was a hilarious evening. We felt terrible that our din was keeping residents awake, but simply couldn’t help ourselves. Staff walked by and smiled benignly at us in our private dining room but never once shushed us. It was a riot. We should have been filming it.

Who in the group would you say is the funniest? Sam: I am the least funny for sure. Each of the other guys is a riot. The speed with which comments are made, jabs returned, is staggering. Matt has an endless repertoire of jokes; he even keeps a notebook on his person at all times which contains punch lines to prompt his memory. But he doesn’t have to refer to them. His jokes are in his head. Hundred and hundreds of them. And Danny was a gag writer for famous comics back in the day. I imagine him in a room with other writers, trading set-ups and punch lines all day long. So he has that whip-smart skill plus a ton of stories. Jeff has literally had me on the floor with his speed. In one of the early shows we were talking about death. Bob said, “I’m not worried. I got it all figured out. The whole burial service, coffin and everything, twelve hundred bucks.” Jeff says without the slightest hesitation, “I’m sorry Bob. I just can’t afford that.” In one recent episode, Danny laughs admiringly: “Christ, Jeff! Everything’s a set-up line to you!”

Photograph by Edward Acker

Don’t Die Till You’re Dead!

“As long as I remain physically and mentally capable (Never mind you guys!), I will strive to remain intellectually curious, emotionally open and empathetic to everyone.”

-Jeff Kent

Are there no females this group? Sam: We’re sexist pigs? Nah. Actually, it’s very much a subject on my mind. To be sure, we do have women members of the Project who comment on our posts in a by and large complimentary way. Although, Bob adds, “However liberated we may consider ourselves, we’re of a demographic that would be Continued on next page...

SAM BITTMAN THE THIRD ACT PROJECT & THE FIVE WISE GUYS THE ARTFUL MIND FEBRUARY 2019 • 21

“It was my former acting teacher Patrick Bonavitacola who suggested calling it

The Third Act Project. Through visual and performing art, through music, poetry and the brilliance of the written word, the Project means to inspire older men to be spirited protagonists in their own stories and leave it all on the field, as athletes say.”

-Sam Bittman

somewhat less our true selves in the presence of women. Sorry, we’ve just never grown up. At least no more than we had to.”

That said, women do seem to be interested in how men think and feel about life in the third act, and so we hope they visit and comment on how older men connect by way of common male experience. I’m not a psychologist so my information comes from talking with old guys for years about what they’re up to, how they see life in the third act, so I’m familiar with male themes, not so much women’s. One of which, sadly, is to pull back from connecting with the world when things get bleak in their souls. It was scary to learn that the highest suicide rate in the U.S. is among white men aged 64-85.

That’s what I had in my mind when I decided to produce the TV series. The Five Wise Guys give audiences an opportunity to look in on older men carrying on and who over the course of 20 minutes share whatever comes to mind. It airs on CTSB (Community Television for Southern Berkshire) as well as on the Project’s website. We also post episodes to our Facebook page. I love it. I laugh a hundred times at the same jokes

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while I edit the video for release. And right next to me, my co-editor Michael Sinopoli is laughing harder than I am. He’s 65. It’s very affirming and spirit-lifting, this process. I think men are at much greater ease when they’re blabbing with men they like.

That aside, I want very much to attract women to the Project. The issues of late life for men and women are very much the same. It’s just that I know so much more about men so that gathering resources for our ‘library’ has been a more intuitive process for me because I’m thinking of old guys. But many women have told me they thoroughly enjoy the point of view we offer. A couple months back we began posting music and poetry podcasts to the Project and most of the women I know who’ve tuned in have given them a thumbs up. Why wouldn’t they? The material is brilliant and touches the soul of life in the third act, regardless of gender.

All the guys have had good lives and times, and you, too? What days do you feel have been riveting, rewarding and joyful? Sam: These days are the best because I’m living

Photograph by Edward Acker

them now and what I’m doing now is what rivets me. But my joys have been many. My wife Maggie and I raised three beautiful boys who have beautiful children of their own, whom I’m in love with, and with whom I make a fool of myself. A circle of very dear friends keeps me warm and sane. Plus a lot more I can look back on. But it’s the present that focuses me and I feel like I’m having the time of my life right now. Did I mention we’ve got twin grandsons on the way? Bob adds his notion of what’s still achievable at age 84: “Obviously all things are no longer possible. But, who can say where to draw the line? Many of my body’s functions have been assaulted by time and impacted by incautious living. My jump-shot sucks and I can’t reach my socks. So, physically, I am diminished by time and usage. But mentally, I have never felt more open to new possibility. I said, “Yes” to the Five Wise Guys. What’s to risk? What’s to lose...NADA! What’s to gain? A chance to hang out with four fellow miscreants I love and respect dearly. And sometimes laugh until it hurts. A no-brainer. I’m with Molly Bloom - just say, ‘Yes!’”

Has the group included stories from their lives? It must be so gratifying to see an excerpt from one’s life acted out. Sam: We talk about our lives all the time – that’s what makes the show so personal and interesting. The plays we’ve been filming by Danny Klein are as autobiographical as any creative work. They’re not specifically about him but certainly are of him since they’re his words and his vision. And I know he’s totally delighted to see them produced so well, if I may be so bold. The characters happen to carry the actors’ real names, and the issues raised in these beautiful plays are the province not just of old guys but all folks facing loss.

Who are the poets? Sam: Though we’ve published many poems by writers past and present, Buff Whitman-Bradley from northern California has been one of our stars. He recently offered to do a podcast for us called “Poems for the Third Act” which is posted every three weeks. He’s a fine reader and his first podcast just went live. (http://www.thethirdactproject.com/2018/11/05/poems-for-the-thirdact-episode-1/)

Here’s a short excerpt from The Tricycle:

Tricycle In a shoe box on the closet floor Among decades of family snap shots There is a photograph more than seventy years old Of me and my first tricycle, A wondrous vehicle I rode at breakneck velocity All over the sidewalks and alleyways Of the ramshackle little community of Carter Lake, On the banks of an oxbow lake left behind When the Missouri River decided to change course And leave a chunk of Iowa Stranded on the Nebraska side. In the picture I am wearing a cowboy hat And cowboy boots As I sit on my three-wheeled speed machine Splendidly fancied up with streamers and balloons For the Fourth of July parade around town, Which is just about to begin. I loved that tricycle surpassingly And as I approach my seventy-fifth birthday I’m thinking it might be just the right time For another one. (Head to the TAP website to listen to/read the rest.)

Who directs? Sam: When we hear action to begin our regular round-table shows, we just go. Occasionally, someone will have a particular idea to discuss that takes us bumping down the road, God knows where. The cameras keep on rolling until we hear cut.

As for the plays we’re doing now, I directed A Five-Letter Word Starting with W, and Bob Lohbauer directed Melancholy Baby. I direct a third play, Fidelity that is in rehearsal now.

Our director of photography, Michael Sinopoli and I co-edit every episode together. I know how I want a show to work, and Michael makes it happen. You think it would become boring to watch the same guy tell the same joke or story ten times while you’re editing a short segment, but as I said earlier -- not so! Michael and I laugh every time.

Sam, what do you need to continue to produce wise guys and broaden TAP content generally? Sam: Last spring I ran a GoFundMe campaign that raised about $12,000, which I aimed way to divide equally between production/content development and marketing/promotion. But money goes quick and we need sponsors. And sponsors demand a lot of page-visits if they’re going to fork out money. So to achieve that I’ve brought on Katherine Casey who is helping to redesign the website and to develop a marketing strategy for expanding our audience nationally. I must also add that, from the get-go I’ve had indispensable assistance from Brittany Brouker whose value to the Project I couldn’t possibly overstate and Eric Brenner has been a master behind-thescenes guy who is coding the re-design.

By the way, we’re looking for local businesses and organizations to sponsor individual episodes of The Five Wise Guys. So anyone out there who’s interested, give me a holler. Hear me? We’ll make you such a deal!

Sam, getting older means getting wiser. As you look back, and look ahead, do you feel that your life experiences are enough to be a wise guy? Sam: Age is not some magic elixir that presto! whammo! makes you wise. I think Lucretius or some other philosopher said “Once a schmuck, always a schmuck.” On the more serious side, listening and observing are what help me find the most fruitful questions to ask of myself. The essence of acting, which is to say, connecting with people, is listening and responding to the people that are on stage with you. It gets you asking questions, and maybe you come up with some new thoughts of your own. Is that what you mean by wise?

Well then, Sam, Wise is in the eye of the beholder, then! On the same subject, wise guy Bob Lohbauer says: “The older you get the more wrinkles you get (and, here and there, the occasional loss of a body part). There are sure a lot of dumb elderlies in this world. Many live in Washington, D.C. Buckminster Fuller once quoted a free spirited elderly street gent he often

chatted up as they sat alongside the Riverway in Chicago’s Loop District. ‘Keep your mind full and your bowels empty.’ Makes sense to me.” There was a wonderful piece in The Times a few weeks back by Linda Pipher that I think speaks to this issue of wisdom. “By the time we are 70, we have all had more tragedy and more bliss in our lives than we could have foreseen. If we are wise, we realize that we are but one drop in the great river we call life and that it has been a miracle and a privilege to be alive.”

Do you defy the aging process? Sam: I don’t defy getting older. I may deny it sometimes but I can’t defy it. As long as I stay playful with my friends, as long as I remain conscious of how easy it is sometimes to be rigid about my opinions, which is a way of saying “no” to new possibilities, as long as I stay open I’m happy. In the art of improvisational acting, the trick to keep things going on stage is to accept your partner’s premise by essentially saying “yes” and… For instance, your partner says, “I want you to take me to the ice cream parlor, now!” And you say, “Yeah, and when we get there, who knows what sort of wild things I’m going say to you!” “Really?” says your partner, “like what?” And you reply, “If I were you, I’d prepare to be kissed!” And on it goes. Life is improv. I used to think it was a sign of intellectual weakness and lack of discipline to make things up as you go along, fly by the seat of your pants as they used to say, but I love the freshness that it brings to my life and to my relationships.

Something you hope to become real that you tell the wise guys? Sam: Yes, there is: Boys, I’ve been talking to an agent who wants to put us on tour! Nah. I draw no conclusions about life. And I expect to live forever.

Thank you Sam, Matt, Bob, Jeff and Danny. I know we will be seeing more of you.

Check out youtube.com: Third Act Project, you will find Five Wise Guys S2E6, I think Therefore I draw, Danny’s latest book hits the market.

When in Lenox, stop by The Book Store and chat with Matt on anything worldy, including of course - The Five Wise Guys.

Follow the Wise Guys and Third Act Project by going to www.thethirdactproject.com The latest Tweets from Third Act Project @ThirdActProject, Old Guys on the Art of Aging .... and much more! Don’t hestitate to search!

~xox~

SAM BITTMAN THE THIRD ACT PROJECT & THE FIVE WISE GUYS THE ARTFUL MIND FEBRUARY 2019 • 23