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Addiction is a part of life.

The Urge (Part 2)

Words Jeremy Ireland Illustration Marco Melgrati

As promised, the aim this month is to look into some of the socioeconomic reasons behind why one person may be more prone to addiction than another. It’s a complex issue, and just like an iceberg, what we see on the surface is only a small part of its entirety, the majority of its mass being hidden underneath and out of view.

Let’s look into genetics and personality traits that can help shed some light on how an addiction can develop. Genetic vulnerability has been shown to play a role in problem drinking. In some alcoholics a gene has been identified that alters dopamine receptors. Furthermore, alcoholics may inherit a tolerance to the negative effects of alcohol and sensitivity to its positives (probably not what you want to hear if you’re currently struggling through Dry July). Studies using identical twins back this genetic component, showing that if one of the twins is an alcoholic than there’s a 76 per cent chance that the other twin is as well. Children of alcoholics are also at increased risk of becoming alcoholics, with hereditability estimated at around 30 per cent.

But what about personality? It too is in part determined by genetic factors but is more open to interpretation. The good old ‘nature versus nurture’ debate comes into play here (‘nature’ being more biological and ‘nurture’ being our social environment and how we are raised and see the world we live in). One phrase I hear a lot from clients is, “I’ve got an addictive personality.” This may seem true to the addict who is usually searching for some kind of answer, but I like to flip this around and point out that perhaps they have a personality that is more prone to addiction. People are generally wired to respond to different things in different ways because of their personality. If one is high in ‘negative affectivity’ or negative in mood and prone to feeling anxious and/or depressed then they are more likely to find relief from alcohol.

Our social surrounds play a big part as well. Drinking is often associated with winning or having a good time. No one is seen to be having a bad time with alcohol in the ads we see on TV. We see the huge logos of beer brands on the footy fields when we watch our heroes ply their trade (spoiler alert - these are actually graphically superimposed, not physically stencilled onto the ground). The spraying of champagne on the winner’s podium, the raising of glasses when we toast an achievement, even slogans like ‘keep on walking’ or ‘for a hard earned thirst’ are etched into the psyche. Culture comes into effect here too and can be problematic and difficult to turn around.

But how does knowing this help if we find ourselves in the grip of a substance on addiction’s slippery slope? It might help to know that addiction is nothing new; millions have struggled in the past and millions will struggle in the future, it is part of the human condition. Science will help and new treatments will be developed, but at the end of the day addiction will always be here as it is a part of life. I am not saying this as an excuse for the addicted person, but the more we can move away from the ‘disease model’ and stereotypes of addiction and accept that there is no single solution, the better chance we can give to those who are suffering, offering more opportunity for relief and a better outcome. It’s important to add that this is for the addicted, as well as the non-addicted people who suffer alongside them.

Perhaps addiction should be less focused on the individual and be more on a community experience. Choice has its limitations; the common thread I have found is that no one chooses to be an addict. As Carl Fisher points out in his book The Urge, “The suffering of addiction is not an individual malady - it also comes from deep ancestral wounds.”

If you are suffering, recognising it and reaching out to people who understand is an important start. You are not alone and it can often take years to take the first step. The sooner we recognise what drives addiction, especially from an inequality standpoint, the easier it can be to get help. Instead of trying to eradicate addiction perhaps we might all be better off finding ways of working with it.

Have you got a question? You can get in touch with Jeremy by calling 0400 420 042.

Where East meets West.

The Turnbulls Have Saved Us

Satire Kieran Blake, kieranblakewriter.org Photo Nathan Cleary

Malcolm and Lucy Turnbull have devised a masterful plan to remodel Sydney’s west in the image of the Eastern Suburbs in order to keep Westies out of the East forever.

“Once this plan is implemented, the Western Suburbs will be as liveable as the Eastern Suburbs and Westies will have no reason to venture this side of Anzac Parade,” announced the Point Piper locals, much to the relief of Eastern Suburbs residents.

“Protecting our neighbours and former constituents from Westies is the primary focus of this plan. Unlike the Bondi Passport and the proposed Westie Wall (now known as the CBD and South East Light Rail), our plan will succeed in ridding the East of this age-old scourge.”

The former member for Wentworth and former chief of the Greater Sydney Commission then outlined the details of their vision.

Beautiful beaches will be created in the West, replete with sand, seagulls, variable surf, seaweed and bluebottles, and of course westerly winds.

Beautiful beaches will keep Westies out of the Eastern Suburbs.

Decommissioned coal mining excavators will dig an enormous hole in Western Sydney, which will then be filled with water so that Westies can enjoy their own uninterrupted harbour views.

Harbour views will keep Westies out of the Eastern Suburbs.

Cranbrook School, The Scots College and Waverley College will move permanently to the West, so that their First XV can fulfil their contractual obligations without leaving home. In turn, Cranebrook School, The Schofields College and Wallacia College will occupy the vacated facilities, where non-rugby-playing students will learn from the ‘dud teachers’ currently staffing public schools out west.

Private schools will keep Westies out of the Eastern Suburbs.

Semi’s with handkerchief gardens will replace the great Australian dream, and Westies will learn the joy of sharing a property with neighbours who think an open fire is warranted in a Sydney winter, and that big dogs love tiny homes.

High-density suburbs will keep Westies out of the Eastern Suburbs.

Attractive, valuable terraces with plenty of on-road parking will be in a constant state of renovation, and the attendant skip bins will clog the narrow streets and discourage Westies from cycling or walking anywhere.

Cyclable, pedestrian-friendly suburbs will keep Westies out of the Eastern Suburbs.

The Liberal Party stalwarts also advised Westies to increase their wealth and thus their climate-change resilience. One aspect of the brilliant plan, however, was exposed as deeply flawed:

“We offered lucrative financial incentives to encourage Bondi hipsters to relocate,” explained the ex-PM, “but it was rightly explained that once you take the hipster out of Bondi, you take Bondi out of the hipster…”

Malcolm and Lucy will then ensure our salvation when they move to the Western Suburbs.

Your friends will still love you.

I Just Wasn’t Feeling It

Words Jay Houhlias Photo Percy Stent

We all lie. It’s inevitable, and there isn’t much we can do about it. Although, lying does not just concern the person lying; it concerns all those around, experiencing and accepting that lie. At what point, as an audience, do we stop indulging the delusions of the people we care about? This critical question becomes no more pertinent than in the context of our dating stories.

As soon as the question is asked, ‘what happened with [insert name]’, the person being asked becomes a garrulous mess and, instinctively, the lies begin pouring out. Everyone fudges dating stories in their favour, and conveniently (two birds one stone), to the detriment of their significant (or insignificant - I was never keen anyway) other.

Why is this, you ask? Because we can’t admit rejection, yes, but it’s more complicated than that. It’s as though we know deep in our soul we have been rejected, but reconciling it in a social setting is unfathomable and too damaging to the reputation. Some people would maintain there is a sacred quality that is tarnished when we reveal too much about our love interest, and there is. But what greater disservice is there to them than lying about your time together? The epidemic of rejection rejecting people is rampant, and I often wonder if I can scarcely believe anyone telling their dating story.

There are usually two ways people go about this lie. The first is finding a convoluted and farfetched story to justify behavior - to try and connect the dots in a sensical manner and craft a narrative that is compelling, believable and relatable. This requires utter commitment to the story. If questioned, you must stick to it, strengthen it and maybe even die by it. If the story makes enough sense, you might even be able to convince yourself that it is true. This method requires craftiness and some extra sauce, so a good way to embellish it is to say that the person you were seeing ‘doesn’t know how to handle their emotions, so they pushed me away’ (or phrases and notions of the like). This will be great for your self-esteem as no responsibility is laid at your feet and you maintain your honour and clout, knowing it was out of your hands and all their deal.

The second way is to just straight-out lie. It sounds obvious, but this method requires dedicated practice and a fair degree of personal suppression of some kind. You also run the risk of clashing with conflicting information (the truth), and not everyone can handle this as they buckle under pressure. A good tip for this method is to delete your recent messages. This way, when asked ‘what happened with [insert name]’, you can just say that you cut it off, and no one will know that you sent him/her four messages last night and received no response (with the last one stating that you love them). You see, this kind of lying is made far easier if you carry all the burden and there is no tangible evidence for people to disprove it.

The corollary to the ‘straight-out lie method’ is the ‘straight-out omission method’. All you do is leave something important out. Say, ‘I can’t believe she tried to get back with me!’ Omit, ‘I tried to get back with her first.’

As amusing as it is to judge the liars (including myself), I didn’t write this in aid of liars and the prevention of lying. I write this to the audience of that lie. Help your lying friend. Make them better at telling the unglamorous truth of their situation. As the audience, you are the most important piece in this puzzle, only you can change the world. And to the liars, just know, if you decide on the noble path of being honest, your friends will still love you, it’s ok. If they don’t, they are not your friends, and they don’t deserve your beautifully pure, unadulterated honesty anyway. Perhaps it would help everyone if I told a quick rejection story of my own.

There was this girl I liked, and we went on some dates. She got to know me well enough that she didn’t want to go on any more dates, and then she rejected me. Take this scenario and multiply it by a thousand, except for most of those times I didn’t get up to the stage where we went on some dates, just the rejections.

Challenge yourselves. If in the midst of listening to a story that sounds fishy, call it out, and make the storyteller comfortable in revealing the truth. Assure them that one day we are all going to die, and that today’s rejection is tomorrow’s awkward, funny story.

Doing it for the kids.

Lost Property

Words Alasdair McClintock @aldothewriter Photo Tim Freedman

If you’ve found yourself with a bad case of Saturday night fever at the Robin Hood Hotel recently, busting out some Elaine Benes moves and singing along with the band on the dance floor, firstly, well done for letting your hair down, and secondly, thanks for helping some local children. Yep, you read that correctly, the furry tongued hangover was all worth it; by supporting the Bronte Public School parents’ rock band, Lost Property, you’ve helped raise thousands of dollars a year for the school’s P&C.

The Beast spoke to Lost Property’s bass guitarist, Alan Harris, to get the run down on what the band is all about and how they came to be.

“Ben Fink (ex-The Whitlams’ guitarist) formed a parents’ rock band at Bronte Public School almost nine years ago,” Alan explained. “He saw it as a chance for parents to rekindle musical abilities that, due to the pressures of work, mortgages, and parenthood, had been buried.”

“Funds raised have been used to renovate the school bathrooms and replace artificial turf in the school playground, but we ensure that a portion of the funds go directly toward the nurturing and growing of music and musicians at the school.”

Consisting of a doctor, a lawyer, several local company owners and entrepreneurs, and even two ex-Broadway performers, the group is a melting pot of different identities, united by a love of music and their children’s school.

“I think one of the most interesting things about this band,” Alan said, “is that we bring energy and creativity from so many paths and try to harness that into a coherent direction which enhances our performances and hopefully becomes larger than the sum of its parts.”

“We play anything from Kesha to The Killers, Otis Redding to The Cruel Sea. We love the big, brassy, horn heavy numbers, like ‘You Can Leave Your Hat On’ by Tom Jones or ‘Kiss’ by Prince. They are a lot of fun, but there is also a beauty in the simplicity of stripped back acoustic numbers, like ‘What’s going on’ by 4 Non Blondes or ‘Weather With You’ by Crowded House. Songs that get the crowd up and singing from the top of their lungs are a huge buzz too. There is something about a whole bar singing together that is quite joyous.”

“Like Doctor Who, the school rock band will hopefully keep regenerating as the members’ children leave to go to high school. The previous parents’ band has stayed together, renamed as The Alumni, and are busy playing in and around the East, often on a double bill with Lost Property.”

You can follow the band on Instagram (@bps.lostproperty) to keep up to date, and you can catch them live on Saturday, August 13 at the Robin Hood, and every third Saturday of each month after that. It’s the perfect excuse to go have some drinks, sing along and dance like a lunatic; all to support the kids, of course.