The Cynic 39 Kieran's Satire 40 Marjorie's Musings

Public schools are so random.

Hot Privilege

Words Jay Houhlias Photo Hellen Gregson

There is lots of different privilege going round these days. It’s become quite a hot thing recently. In fact, it’s so hot that I’m tentative to even use the word privilege. It seems naughty.

But there is one kind of privilege we don’t talk about. There is a super class ruling our culture. Everyone instinctively and intuitively knows about this class yet fails to acknowledge it because they’re too busy being dumbfounded and awestruck. This class is made up of hot people. Being hot provides you with privileges many of us average-looking chums couldn’t dream of.

The main symptom of hot privilege is that it magically enhances your other qualities. Your hotness makes your jokes funnier, your annoying traits more bearable, your opinions more valid, and your supply chain of options, for just about anything, more comprehensive. It transforms your meanness into personality, your arrogance into ambition, your rudeness into something that just goes hand-in-hand with being such a highflyer. There are studies now on attractive people which show how markedly better their lives are (better relationships, higher pay, more positive emotions, etc.). But you really don’t need studies to prove hot privilege exists. You just need common sense and some hot friends.

Now, just because hot privilege exists, we should, under no circumstances, dispense with it. That would be a bad idea and it would be boring too. We should instead try and make sense of it. This is about accepting the fact that we can’t help but judge on hotness, and that’s okay so long as you admit that’s what you’re judging off, or the extent to which it is affecting your judgement of someone. I know I become a little jelly baby when faced with hotness. I can’t really help it, I’m always willing to elevate hotties in any way I can.

There is nothing superficial about admitting the sole reason you have an affinity toward someone is because they are hot. That’s just being honest. It’s just the truth, and if the truth is superficial then we are all in trouble. Deliberately pretending you’re not taking looks into account means hotness comes into play even more so - some might even steer clear of hot people because they want to prove a point, and thus they’re judging on hotness.

Imagine asking your friend why they are dating that tool, and they unashamedly say, “They’re hot, that’s why. Maybe I’ll get sick of it soon, but right now, hotness is the glue that holds this relationship together.”

Ah, the poetry! How can one hate such beautiful honesty? Wouldn’t it be worse to lie about it, or pretend you like them for some other reason? That doesn’t help anyone.

We need to accept that, paradoxically, the most thoughtful we can possibly be is to understand how superficial we can be at times. Just like we are all so hell bent on calling out other privileges with such indignance, we should also be cognisant of hot privilege. Just like other privileges, no one expects you to give away all your possessions and live in squalor to account for the fact you’ve had advantages over others, but they expect you to know that you’re a lucky sod and to not block your eyes to the fact that you’ve got it good. That’s all.

All that being said, if I see a hot person today, I am going to feel absolutely no shame in saying for whatever reason, whatever strange force has taken hold of me, that I think I love her. If I’m not at that stage yet, I know that I’ll have no trouble in getting myself there, eventually.

"You guys feed my soul."

Cafés Replace Churches as Arbiters of Morality

Satire Kieran Blake, kieranblakewriter.org Photo Sol Berenson

Popular cafés with inviting décor, sumptuous menus and the intoxicating aroma of coffee are offering moral sustenance to residents of the Eastern Suburbs after plastering their walls with positive affirmations, while local religious organisations struggle to retain their flock.

Artistically crafted messages in on-trend fonts and curated colour schemes comfort diners as they seek physical, emotional and spiritual nourishment in their new sanctuaries of soul.

Brenda is a long-time local who lives her life according to the carefully selected messages adorning the walls of her favourite cafés.

“I believe in me,” she affirms, “and I believe in the person I dream of becoming.”

She also finds solace in the quotes:

‘If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you,’ and ‘I am perfect just the way I am,’ despite the fact the adjacent quotes appear to contradict each other.

AJ lives according to the hand-painted edicts at the café where he is given his daily bread. He finds as much inspiration in a café as he does from his favourite social media influencers, and his most beloved quote among many is:

‘Don’t be eye candy, be soul food.’

Why? “Because I haven’t eaten candy for seven years, that’s how I keep my beach body.”

Friend Siiy agreed, and pointed out a quote beside their favourite table, which read, ‘I am a magnet for true success.’

“After all, why do we go to cafés in the Eastern Suburbs, if not to flaunt our success and be surrounded by it?” he chuckles.

Chris, meanwhile, was similarly inspired:

‘Be around those who feed your soul, not eat it,’ he read aloud, before explaining that pious baby-boomers do not feed his soul. “…and this sauce is so delicious I feel my soul uplifted already. It’s so much better than that tiny wafer you get at mass, and the church still doesn’t offer a vegan option.”

Daisy and Patrick find sufficient guidance over Sunday brunch, and have no plans to return to religion.

“The church still has its role, don’t get us wrong. It reminds our kids why we pay a fortune for their private school. Plus, the entertainment at the Easter and Christmas kids’ mass is much cheaper than taking the whole family to the movies,” they explain, before adding, “We’ll go back to church when we’re allowed to take our dogs.”

For Shar, forgoing the church for the café is a question of space.

“How can I let God into my life when Marie Kondo is already telling me to declutter?” Shar asks, adding that he is “eternally nourished” by the quote:

‘Beautiful things happen when you distance yourself from negativity.’

“And it’s not as if the ten commandments spark joy!”

Without education there is no future.

The Crisis in Education in NSW

Words Dr Marjorie O’Neill, Member for Coogee Photo Ed Ucation

The simple fact is that education in the state of NSW is desperately in need of government intervention and good public policies. Throughout the entire state, we are experiencing critical problems associated with lack of government investment. A shortage of teachers and, in the case of public education, both declining infrastructure and inadequate access to placements, are just the tip of the iceberg.

There are also fundamental failures in our education system to evolve to meet contemporary concerns and needs, including the growing demand for co-educational schools. If government does not invest in our schools and TAFE, we will not have an adequately educated population and the standard of living of all Australians will continue to decline.

Our entire education system is under threat due to a shortage of teachers. There is a shortage of five to six thousand teachers. The state expects to run out of teachers in the next five years, and almost half of all early career teachers are leaving the profession every year. The working conditions of teachers, including not just wages and hours but also administrative requirements and other accountability responsibilities, as well as developmental opportunities, are in need of both serious review and investment. It is time to invest appropriately in our teachers, unless we can see a future without them!

Here in the east, we are experiencing the same challenges of attracting and retaining school teachers but we are also facing major school infrastructure and accessibility issues. An under-funding of our public schools is of particular concern. Despite amazing teachers, there is a continual drain from our public school system into the private system because of inadequate public school funding.

Let’s be clear about this, many residents of the east choose to send their children to religion-based systemic schools or more elite private schools - that is their choice and it is respected. These schools are also impacted by the challenges associated with attracting and retaining quality teachers and by government funding policies. All children in NSW are entitled to adequate funding for their education.

The provision of an excellent public education system available to all is the measure of a society’s capacity to meet the needs of its citizens. In NSW, we are not meeting this requirement on several fronts. Our public schools have not been receiving the investment needed for essential upgrades and we do not have the capacity to meet current or future needs.

In particular, there is an urgent need to prioritise the upgrades to Randwick Girls High School and Randwick Boys High School and to address co-educational high school capacity issues. Ensuring fair funding for public schools in line with the Gonski recommendations is a high priority. Of particular concern for me is that Randwick Boys and Girls High Schools have been waiting for more than four years for their promised upgrades, but the Perrottet Liberal government has failed to deliver.

I have campaigned and fought for these issues for the past four years and I am very pleased to state that, if elected to government in March 2023, a Labor Government has undertaken to fund a new high school for boys and girls in the Eastern Suburbs. All students in NSW will have guaranteed access to a co-educational public high school if Labor wins the March election under a plan to give thousands of parents in single-sex school catchments more options as demand for co-ed surges.

Education is a key determinant of individuals’ life opportunities. I hope you join with me in placing accessible quality education as a key priority for government policy as we move forward to building a better, fairer and ultimately more prosperous future.