The Beestonian Issue 45 by The Beestonian

75p Where sold

The

Beestonian Wish you were beer

Issue no.

Booze of the World

ften, the best way to take the pulse of a town is to check out its pubs. The health of these is the health of an area: if they are boarded up, run down, or too terrifying to enter, it’s a safe bet that the surroundings aren’t going to be great.

On that basis, Beeston is in rude health. We’ve long had a strong reputation for pubs: it has often been mooted that having the highest density of drinkeries in the UK. We’re right by the source of the best water for ale in the world: the beer that the Trent is brewed into is world renowned. Of course, the only way to prove this is to go out there and get some hard-core journalism done: to visit every pub in Beeston to give a comprehensive picture of how we’re doing. You might have spotted us a few Saturdays ago, first strolling, then staggering, then crawling between pubs. This isn’t the first time: four years ago The Beestonian, then a fledgling magazine, took a look round and printed up the results. We’d expected

to register a decline, all these years over. We were surprised to find that this wasn’t the case. You’ll find the results inside. Pubs are famously under a hell of a lot of pressure, with greedy Pubcos and loss-leading booze in supermarkets just two challenges pubs must counter. How they do this was the most revealing part of the survey: rather than stay the same and slip into decline, they’ve diversified, changed what they offer and created a much stronger estate of boozers than ever before. Very few pubs are just straight forward pubs anymore, and the imagination, entrepreneurism and sheer verve of some were inspirational, and testament to the spirit of Beeston. We even found a new, albeit micro, pub had opened. Also within you’ll find pages stuffed to the margins with stories, news and all things Beeston. This town does not sit still, making our mission to celebrate the place one we never take lightly. So if you see one of the team at the bar while reading this, they probably won’t say no to a pint. Cheers! LB

n o t s Bee

d e r i p Ins

‘I

nspire’ is a rather fitting name for a company looking to run a library. To my mind I can think of no better use of public resources than to hand a child a book. With each word their experiences grow, their world develops and they become greater. There is no better investment than that of education and for poorer households, and students like myself, the library has become a vital educational hub. The Beeston Library has recently become the centre of a scare in the local community. Lord B. was already drafting placards by the time Councillor Kate Foale put fears to rest. In the wake of ‘toiletgate’ and the closure of the post office a brief and terrifying threat seemed to loom over the Library itself. The reality is thankfully not a closure but a change of hands. This change of hands will leave Beeston Library under the management of Inspire, a non-profit organization set up by Nottinghamshire County Council with a focus on the arts. Their remit includes libraries, music lessons, and supporting educational activities in the community. For Beeston this means maybe two major things: the library is staying but will be under new management, and that the library may be refitted to accommodate some of these other aims. They hope this will allow the Library to respond more rapidly to the changing demands of the community. Councillors have suggested that this refurbishment will take around 6 months and that in the process the library will absorb other services. One perk of Inspire’s status is that it must be responsive to the public will. Their website is incomplete but currently the focus is on signing people up to their mailing lists and inviting members to their annual general meeting. Hopefully this means that the people of Beeston will get a greater say in how the library provides services. They certainly seem keen as over 4000 people signed up to have their say within a month of Inspire opening. Membership is of course free and all members will have an opportunity to stand for election to Inspire’s board.

In a comment to the Nottingham Post County Councillor John Knight, who chairs the committee for culture, seemed enthused about the project. He pointed to the current popularity of libraries throughout the county, having lent over 3 million books in the last year. He is hopeful that Inspire’s cultural events will allow for a greater sense of community F Be ollow to build around the library. With any est o luck these cultural events will be yet Ce on Pu ur ep ntr another chance to show off Beeston’s e p b Cr ic age awl s... !

beating metropolitan heart, much like the various film nights at Cafe Roya and the White Lion. Generally those I spoke to seemed optimistic, particularly hoping the move would allow for greater responsiveness to the wishes of Beestonians. Many however also seemed frustrated by yet another refit, especially given that “it hardly seemed 5 minutes since the last one”. One of the other local concerns raised regarded exhibitions by local artists. These were moved last year to a larger venue in an upstairs room at the library, much to the consternation of art lovers who pointed out that few people knew such a venue existed. Overall the Library appears to be in safe hands with Inspire. Despite my own worries that this is a step towards the privatisation of local services, the democratic nature of the community group seems to be designed to keep the public involved. It also seems like a great opportunity for Beeston to once more show off its cultural variety. Hopefully the library can be a hub for Beeston’s seeming renaissance. TR

A FRESH APPROACH At RM Tax & Accountancy we like to do things differently to most other accountants. There is no tie, no expensive office, no hidden fees or unexpected invoice. Your tax affairs will be dealt with from start-to-finish by a fully qualified accountant. All our fees are agreed up-front and paid month by month to spread the cost of your accountancy and tax needs. We make ourselves available around our clients hours; if a 7pm call suits you better than anything 9-5, then it suits us too. Find out more: www.rmtaxandaccountancy.com Give us a call: 0115 7270 725 or email us: rob@rmtaxandaccountancy.com

cycling Y

ou’ve probably seen these stencils on Chilwell High Road. They mark places where it is particularly dangerous for cyclists. Indeed they mark where accidents have occurred; accidents that could have been avoided if those creating the tramlines and cycling lanes around them had just thought properly.

The cycle lane goes onto the tram tracks. It doesn’t take much sense to see that there is hardly enough room for a tram and bicycle to run alongside each other, hence the recent accidents that have happened. What’s more, the lane then veers onto the pavement right into pedestrians. In the words of one cyclist I talked to “it doesn’t make any sense, it’s unsafe and erratic.” It isn’t only Beeston. These stencils have begun appearing all over Nottingham. A group of cycling activists have taken it upon themselves to right what they think are serious wrongs in the way cycle tracks have been laid out (or not as the case may be). And I can certainly understand. Cyclists have been unnecessarily injured by the tramlines, by lorries and HGVs, and normal drivers, and it seems at least part of the blame must be taken by the council’s ineptly installed cycle lanes. Particularly dangerous are so-called “pinch points”. These are where lanes suddenly narrow; where bollards jut out, areas for parking, or those triangle patches that feed in and out of roundabouts. These naturally cause vehicles to edge left, but what that means for the cyclist is suddenly they have much less space, and they didn’t have much to begin with. The graffitists have created stencils saying “cycling priority lane” to remind drivers to pay special attention to cyclists. Remember that it is actually recommended that cyclists position themselves in the centre of the lane, not to the side; that is the safest place for them.

graffiti

of the lane. It’s called the primary position. A lot of motorists don’t realise this. They try to edge cyclists to the side.” This is particularly when reaching so-called pinch points as previously mentioned, particularly roundabouts.

“The city as a whole is supposed to be pledging to get more cyclists on the road*1, ordinary people, not your lycra-clad stereotypes. But to do that you need to have infrastructure to make cycling safe. That’s one of the reasons that ordinary people, children and such, don’t cycle to work and school; it has the image of being unsafe.” Part of that is of course the attitude of some drivers. I myself have seen some really appalling things done to cyclists, which is truly ironic, as the activist explained:

already. We’d prefer it if they didn’t waste tax payers’ money, as we’re not going to stop until safe cycling infrastructure is implemented.” The city, he feels, just isn’t doing enough to make cycling safe and accessible to all. “We feel they’re just doing the bare minimum. It’s obvious these people don’t cycle much themselves as much of what they’ve put in place is actually more dangerous than it would be to have no cycle paths at all. They need to listen to the right people.” Here are some positive sites that I found myself where you can go for more information about cycling safety, cycling law or to get legally involved in cycling activism: smartertravelnottingham.wordpress.com http://bikeability.org.uk 1. transport2.nottinghamcity.gov.uk/cycle/ 2. bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-27323198 CF

“More people cycling would be better for motorists as well; there would be less traffic.” In fact the benefits of cycling are pretty wide reaching. Let’s look at pollution. For example the area around the ringroad (the QMC) is in the top ten of polluted areas in Europe. The activist said, “When you cycle through there at rush hour you can literally taste the pollution.” Nottingham is one of the worst cities in the UK for pollution.*2 More locally rush hour is always a big issue in Beeston; parents taking their kids to and from school, people on their way to and from work. If more people cycled, it is undeniable there would be a big impact on levels of pollution. But first of all there would need to be safe and thorough cycle routes so that parents would feel their children were safe cycling, and that individuals themselves felt safe. Currently this is not always the case. And this is why the activist has decided it is time to take to the night and do this. “Nottingham really doesn’t have very good cycling infrastructure. I’ve cycled around London and felt it was much safer, the attitudes of drivers were better.”

I spoke to a local cycling activist who told me he had been involved in the Beeston stencilling. Understandably he wished to remain anonymous. He spoke emphatically of known friends of his who had been killed cycling simply because drivers just don’t understand where cyclists are supposed to be.

“Because of these problems, particularly the attitudes of drivers, I don’t feel safe letting my kids cycle around this city, which is a great tragedy. Cycling is good for the mind, body and soul. Not to mention the environment, both local and wider.”

“Cyclists follow all the same rules as other vehicles on the road, they should be in the middle

Their message? “Nottingham City Council has pledged to erase all of our stencils. The’ve gotten rid of a few

THE

BIG DEAL

A new logo, a new brand, 500 printed business cards, plus (and here’s the good bit) design and build of a bespoke, fully responsive website. All for just

£995 (inc. VAT).

Sound good? We’ve been building brands since 1997 and we’re based here in Beeston. So what’s stopping you? Call 0115 9228922 for more info or visit our website today. www.bigidea-creative.co.uk

THE

BIG

PAINT

IDEA

BRIGHT

Citizens Advice

n a Friday morning in March, I was sat on the chairs reserved for those waiting for a meeting with Citizens Advice Broxtowe.

could be gone in a flash.” Sally emphasises to me how vital their services are, stating that “once the CAB is gone you don’t get it back!” Derby suffered this fate. Let’s not allow Beeston’s CAB to go the same way. For those of you who aren’t clued up on the history of Citizens Advice, it was set up in 1936 “in response to the start of the war,”

There was one other person there. Then a few more people turned up, and started handing out cards with numbers on. I politely declined. I wasn’t there for advice. I was there to meet Sally Bestwick, a friendly woman who gave me a wealth of information, on account of being a brilliant talker! She is the current Chief Executive of Citizens Advice Broxtowe, a service that is available to anyone and, says Sally, “advises on absolutely anything.” She emphasises that people might not be aware that Citizens Advice is a charity and relies entirely on donations and funding in order to keep going. In April CAB hosted a fundraising concert with BeVox, a community choir which frequently performs to raise funds for various charities. This is “one of the biggest fundraisers [Citizens Advice has] done,” says Sally. She hopes that it will raise a lot of money and give CAB the chance to make sure people know that they are “a small, independent charity that

Since its beginning “it’s evolved into [a] massive, volunteer-led organisation.” This is something even I didn’t know until, whilst waiting for my meeting with Sally, I saw the volunteers arrive. They seemed a cheerful and friendly bunch, ready to offer quality advice to those who need it. Gone then are the days of horse boxes, so I asked Sally where you

and Broxtowe Council, and as CEO a lot of Sally’s time is spent fundraising, making applications and doing funding bids to try to reach that yearly amount. Some money comes from donations, but these are usually small so fundraising events are vital. They also help CAB to connect with the community, and in the past they have attended Beeston Carnival to do this as well as raise funds. Sally emphasises that Citizens Advice is a professional business with both paid and volunteering staff. “The volunteers,” she says “get paid in tea and biscuits” but mainly the money that comes in is spent on wages for the paid staff, and the rest on infrastructure to ensure they have certain things in place like good IT, which they rely on heavily to give the quality of advice that they offer. To train the volunteers costs £1600 per individual. There are currently 60 such volunteers, and CAB employs a trainer and two service managers to ensure the volunteers are well trained.

Sally tells me. With the men going off to fight, the women “were left struggling financially [and] didn’t know what they were entitled to in terms of any benefits or help from the army.” So, where did it actually start? Surprisingly, it wasn’t somewhere official like our Beeston Offices, but “really bizarre places like people’s front rooms or horse boxes.” I laugh at this, surprised but pleased to realise that CAB is a service that was set up very much in the spirit of Keep Calm and Carry On, by people that were “willing to volunteer and help each other.”

can go for advice today. For us Beestonians, we can of course go to the Council Offices and find CAB on the ground floor. You can also find Outreach services in Stapleford Heath Clinic, which is open three days a week, Kimberley Health Clinic on a Monday morning, Hope on Boundary Road on a Wednesday morning, and also at Tesco Toton on a Tuesday Morning. Again, I was surprised. Citizens’ Advice in a supermarket? Sally says that the opening of an outreach service in Tesco Toton is “the first of its kind”, a new initiative that emphases how important it is for CAB to reach as many people as they can.

However, they are facing challenges at the moment due to the growing demand for the service and the need to raise the funds to accommodate this. Sally tells me that “welfare reform and universal credit is only just coming into Broxtowe, so the demand for the service is going to increase in the next 18 months.” This is because as soon as universal credit starts to hit families “they are going to struggle and there will probably be delays in their payments as well,” she says. “The welfare reform is supported by Citizens Advice, but it’s the way they’re implementing it that what worries us.”

Sometimes, people will be in need of help and advice, but won’t take that first step to get it, so having this service in a local supermarket means that you can be discreet, do your shopping, and get some advice too. If CAB doesn’t receive enough funding, it simply isn’t possible for them to run these kinds of services.

After concluding the interview, we carried on talking, and Sally is very keen to stay in contact, and has hinted at the potential for another article about the friends of Citizens Advice, and how you can get involved. In the meantime, be mindful of the service we have at the heart of Beeston, and don’t be afraid to use it!

Just to keep going the charity needs approximately £350,000 a year. Most comes from lottery grants, Notts County Council,

You can learn more about CAB at http://www.broxtowe.gov.uk in the Advice Help & Support section. JM

Coffee Culture I

and my addiction to that naughty bean

am currently sipping away at my 6th coffee of the day. This one has been made using my brand new coffee maker I received as a birthday gift. My kitchen is like a fragrant, noisy, caffeine infused version of Breaking Bad. I love coffee and in the midst of the sleep deprived rabbit hole that the arrival of a 10 week old baby brings, I need it.

Coffee is a passion; for me it’s a bit like a good bottle of wine. I like my coffee to have a story. I’m not interested in some freeze dried, corporate, mass manufactured bastardization of that beautiful bean. It needs to have a soul. I want my coffee beans to be exotic, to have been grown from seeds first passed through the digestive system of an ageing mountain goat at high altitude. It should have a caffeine content that borders on the illegal and a body smoother than a chat up line from an Italian waiter who has took a shine to your wife. It should be gentle with a finish so long that you could watch the Lord of The Rings box set and still be able to taste it. Afterwards I want that lingering smell to permeate through my entire house like a plug in air freshener and every time you inhale you experience that magic all over again. I heard recently that many university campuses now are dumping the sticky floored boozer and instead having a coffee shop. At first I was stunned by this. I mean how many student liaisons were nurtured near the jukebox in a sweaty union bar on a wet Wednesday night, where a snake bite and black was only £1? I include myself in this group. I met my wife in freshers week and I dread to think what she would have really thought of me if all we had swimming round our bellies was a soya chai latte with a hint of cinnamon. However now I understand, coffee is big business. Coffee culture exploded into the UK in the mid-nineties and we’ve never looked back.

I’m old enough to remember a time before there was a Costa or Nero on every street. The Gold Blend coffee adverts, where viewers were captivated with a blossoming romance happening over a cup of instant coffee, showed how we regarded the drink at the time. We Brits weren’t seduced by the fancy coffee shop culture of our French or Italian cousins. My dad still to this day secretly prefers the instant variety, he thinks the freeze dried

Scott Bennett granules are the nearest us mere mortals will get to consuming foods made for astronauts. He’s convinced that the best cup of coffee he has ever tasted was served in a polystyrene cup out of a van at a rainy car boot sale in a field in Doncaster in 1989. Although this may have something to do with the fact that it was 25p and came with a free Club biscuit. During my childhood there were very few options for coffee enthusiasts. You had two main choices, a flask or a greasy spoon café. No one ever sat down and relaxed in a coffee shop back then. We were always on the move. We did go to a greasy spoon café on a Saturday afternoon in Wakefield before going to see an afternoon matinee at the cinema. With checkered table cloths and a big plastic tomato sauce holder in the middle

as a rudimentary paperweight, the place was a bit of a dive. It had a glass window with water running down it, I used to think it was quite a stylish addition, looking back it was probably a creative twist on a leaking condensing pipe. I would have a steak Canadian and a calypso pop (the E numbers kept you going all day) and my dad would have an egg butty and a cup of tea. Everyone seemed to drink tea back then; rumour has it that we won wars on tea. My wife’s family are huge tea drinkers; my father in law was pushing fifteen brews a day when he used to “work” for the council. When he first met me he offered me a brew, I refused (as I didn’t really care for it at the time, I preferred Ribena) he looked at my wife as if to say, “not sure about this one love!” A visit to a coffee shop is part of our family routine every weekend now. The people who work in these places are proper cool; I think I’m ever so slightly in awe of one of the dudes in our local establishment. I use the term “dude” deliberately. They are like the kids at school who had a motorbike at sixteen, smoked roll ups and could play the guitar. With a quiff, a t-shirt with rolled up sleeves and those things that the youth put in their ears now which make the lobes look like the eyelets in a camping ground sheet. It’s the job I would have wanted when I was younger. It’s interesting that the coffee shops never really suffered during the recession. It’s the one luxury we are not prepared to forfeit. I worked out recently that I’m spending on average ten pounds a week on coffee, that’s over five hundred quid a year on beans! Even Jack wouldn’t have gone with that deal and he got a beanstalk out of it. But I don’t begrudge it, particularly if it’s going to support the independent guys of the coffee world. I won’t mention the corporate giants; let’s just call them “Tarducks” who attempt to make a connection with you by asking your name to write on the cup. It didn’t wash with me, I used to say “HMRC” and then quickly take my coffee and leave. SB

Bow

Selecta “W

...for in Michelin-starred restaurants and hat time is someone who with Nottingham’s Sat Bains and it, Scarlett?” likes food, Beeston hopes to be opening his own Sal and I ask restaurant in Nottingham soon. is an excellent our two-year old from time Given the truly inspiring dishes he place to be produced (in content, presentation to time. “FOOD TIME!” growing up. and taste) I hope he does. she replies with glee, and starts listing all the food she’d As I’ve said, Scarlett will eat pretty much like to eat… “Wittybix, ogange, anything but I’m a bit pickier these days – I monkeynana, yoghurt, chocle bissit, certainly wouldn’t class myself as vegetarian grapes and cheese PWEASE!” she pleads but each time we’ve been to Roya’s we haven’t politely but forcefully. “And bubbles and even noticed there’s no meat, the food is just so good. But Alex served up a series of dishes, some juice! And milk!” And we smile because of which consisted entirely of foods I wouldn’t somehow having a tiny person with the normally eat (olives, yoghurt and lemon anyone?) permanent appetite of the shark from that were simply delicious. So maybe I should learn a lesson from Scarlett JAWS charging around and try a more varied diet the house actively – as I said, Beeston can trying to devour certainly provide that. pretty much anything We have a new world tapas (except cucumber) is restaurant, The Frustrated wonderfully cute and Chef opening in place of endearing. Relish on Chilwell High We hear stories of parents who can’t get their children to eat anything but macaroni cheese or cat food and we wonder how weird that would be, in much the same way that I find it incomprehensible that anyone wouldn’t like STAR TREK (the proper one, with Captain Kirk of course). And maybe there’ll come a time when she’ll hate everything except chicken nuggets and Haribo and I’ll be forced, ironically, to eat my own words – but I have to say for someone who likes food, Beeston is an excellent place to be growing up. Last Sunday Sal and I, admittedly without Scarlett this time, attended a charity fundraising dinner for My Sight Nottinghamshire (formerly the Nottinghamshire Royal Society for the Blind) at the always astounding Café Roya on Wollaton Road. I have a soft spot for the charity as every year in November I lead a group of volunteer fundraisers in walking across burning hot coals to raise money for them at Nottingham Castle. Great fun, brilliant cause (give it a go, it’s inspiring, lifechanging and best of all doesn’t actually hurt, I promise)! For once it wasn’t Roya doing the cooking though, although the food was still entirely vegetarian – the special guest chef was the phenomenal Alex Bond. Alex is a brilliant bloke very friendly, extremely talented and has worked

Road, a new seafood/Thai restaurant, The Lobster Pot (near Sainsbury’s), Korea House on Broadgate and the excellent Gurkha Express almost opposite, taking the place of the nowdefunct ‘Bonito’ restaurant, a place that very long-term readers may recall I once wrote a scathingly unfavourable review of in this very magazine. The place closed down very shortly afterwards and although I’m sure it was nothing to do with my review… well, just for a second I got to feel like a real food critic. But these days, new food and drink establishments in Beeston have some great forebears to aspire to and beat – and I think we’re being really well served here, literally and figuratively. So don’t worry about the clock not being repaired in the Square, if anyone asks you what time it is in Beeston you can just quote Scarlett… “Food time”! For more information on other events (including the firewalking - go on, join me this year) organised by My Sight Nottinghamshire visit http://www.mysightnotts.org.uk. Roya’s and Alex Bond’s fundraising evening raised over £400 for the charity. Many thanks to them, their staff and My Sight’s Jonny Rudge and sponsors for organising it! Tim Pollard Nottingham’s Official Robin Hood

DRY pub crawl I heard my Beestonian colleagues organising an epic pub crawl. Start at 3pm, they said – drink a half in each of the massive number of pubs, they said – wear matching Tshirts, they said. I cowered further down in my seat at each suggestion. It’s all familiar, of course – I drank pints at Newcastle University in the 80s, after all. I remember the bravura, the ability to chat to strangers, repeated conversations feeling really funny. This continued in my work: hard play, hard approach to life. I remember (sometimes rather scarily) piecing together the fragments of incidents over the next few days to make sense of them: ‘she said WHAT?’, ‘he did WHAT?’, ‘I went WHERE?’ All great fun. But I often found it pretty competitive in some sense. Nowdays I don’t drink. I stopped a few years ago when I considered my responsibilities outweighed my need for dizzy times and woozy sleep. It was hard at first, going against the grain of ‘normal’ expectations, suddenly aware of how much we are bombarded with invitations

and coercion to participate. However, giving up sits comfortably with me - I don’t like any section of society asking me to conform to fit in. You might think a sober existence is really boring - but I think it’s quite rebellious! Even though I don’t drink alcohol, I do enjoy going out. I really enjoy going out. Being a bit older, I’m not good at late nights – but I love having a laugh, a gritty conversation, a bit of art, a bit of politics and a bit of gossip. I also like being around other people while they chat and drink and enjoy themselves. So…why must I drink diet coke, sugary cordials, one of the stupid sodding fluorescent flavours of J2O or bloody Eisberg (or equivalent), in order to participate? There are ‘no alcohol’ beers, but every one I have tried had a horrible aftertaste – I think this is because I never liked beer in the first place! The choice in pubs is better than ever, of course – tea and coffee is freely available, though caffeine is not ideal late on (and what is the point of decaffeinated for goodness sake??). But it’s difficult to enjoy the loud tutting from the bar staff when ordering two hot chocolates during a quiz night in a local pub recently.

A quick poll of Beeston town centre pubs shows that most offer at least one alcohol free beer. I could not find one that offered alcohol free wine; in fact I was treated with derision in some pubs when I asked. I buy my wine to drink at home from a very successful Manchester company called The Alcohol Free Shop, which has been quietly winning all sorts of awards simply by looking for adult alternatives to alcoholic drinks – usually great tasting ‘proper’ wine which has the alcohol carefully removed, leaving a delicious ‘grown up’ product. They continue to expand their great range of products – with some excellent ‘no alcohol’ ciders and spirit substitutes. It would be fantastic to find this sort of product available in Beeston’s great pubs – not just for Dry Januarys, but also for drivers who want to drink something interesting and people who want to cut back a bit without compromising on taste. Meanwhile…when I met up with the other Beestonians during the crawl I spent a very amiable hour over a diet coke. There was no evidence of matching T shirts or pint drinking, merely a good natured celebration of our hospitable community. Excellent! KA

6 1 0 2 e h n T o t s

e e B

THE MARINA BAR We start at 3pm. Five of us meet by The Trent under glorious sunshine. It’s not possible to get closer to the edge of Beeston than at the Marina and it’s a bit of a gem. This is the only pub in Beeston in which you feel like you’re on holiday. It might be something to do with being surrounded by mobile homes and static caravans, or its proximity to water. Its décor is nautically themed; ship’s wheel mounted on the wall, the bar studded with port holes. The weather tempts us out onto the waterfront terrace, to look over at Clifton Grove and the fields. This bucolic joy lasts all

of thirty seconds, before a hail-storm appears and forces us back inside, but the barmaid runs out to dance in it. Respect. GOOD FOR: bhajis, cheap ale, raffles, great location. BEST QUOTE: “I did a Beeston pub crawl once. Ended up stopping traffic outside the Charlton Arms”. Barmaid BOAT AND HORSES: We’d heard a lot of good stuff about here: renovated after being a bit tired for years. Sunday roasts are to die for apparently. But this is Saturday, and we’re here for beer, and a good choice is presented to us. Another great summer pub: the hail eases into sun so we sit in the beer garden. An indie band rehearse in the spacious function room. The staff are really welcoming, there

is a huge heap of vinyl to browse and buy, and the beer is decent. We’re almost tempted to stay for more than one half, but time is moving on, and our mission can’t slacken off. GOOD FOR: Beer, food (so we hear), rehearsal space, people with kids: the vast garden can distract them while you focus on drinking the ace beer. BEST QUOTE: “There is a real problem right now, and the reason that I refuse to buy balloons. That problem is a paucity of helium”. – Tom Roberts

16 0 2 T he to n

s e e B JOLLY ANGLERS

We’ll be honest. We were a bit nervous going here. We’d heard rumours it was a bit rough, a bit unfriendly. But journalism has to be fearless, so we ventured in, Bernstein and Woodward watching over us. And we’re glad we did. The beer was decent, the welcome friendly and the place a smartly turned out, light and airy surprise. GOOD FOR: Football fans, especially Forest; the 18 bus (between every hour and every six weeks, depending on the vagaries of Trent Barton). BEST QUOTE: Our notes don’t show any, but we all recall something amusing was said about crisps. THE PLESSEY CLUB We’re joined by another, a h e m , surveyor, Chris at this point. We were enthusiastic about it in our 2012 survey, and do like to drop in when we can. A sprawling venue with snooker rooms, meeting rooms and a full on bar. Talking of fans, a massive one hangs from the ceiling, making you feel in a bizarre cross between a 1970’s Working Men’s Club, and Singapore Raffles Hotel, about a century ago. Dead comfy, warm, utterly unpretentious, with cheap beer. It’s a shame we have to move after a single drink. We urge you to give it a visit. GOOD FOR: Value, space, lack of pretension, fans of fans. BEST QUOTE: “I want to get a mollusc hiphop band together, and call it the Wu Tang Clam’. You had to be there. THE VICTORIA Victoria! So sang the Kinks after a brief visit to Beeston in the sixties. Over the years many more have sung its praises. Traditional décor, sublime food and a colossal range of beers, whiskies and obscure New Guinean pineapple liquors (probably).

It was seen as the only really decent pub in Beeston, and attracted people from miles around to try its burritos and beer. The Vic continues to do great business and good food, which we sample (journalism is tough, we indulge so you don’t have to). Its success has spread through Beeston: the stripped down focus on good beer/good food has travelled well and changed Beeston boozers for the better. GOOD FOR: Train spotters (engines hammer constantly), foodies, CAMRA types, good staff. BEST QUOTE: “I work in Philadelphia sometimes. A really good place” – Chris. “I like Philadelphia. Well, the cheese” - John THE QUEENS It’s Possibly Beeston’s remotest pub (apart from The Nurseryman that doesn’t count). We arrive at 6:50. The A-board outside proclaims “DISCO: 7PM”. Ah. Karen, our teetotal correspondent, and Ric our footblistered distribution chap and anagram wizard join us. It’s a small compact pub, well priced and, being on the first floor, has a pleasantly detached quality. It was bombed in WWII after the Luftwaffe got it wrong and missed Boots, but was swiftly rebuilt, and has steadily gone about its business since. To our surprise we have another drink. This might be down to the hammering rain that has appeared, and the seemingly huge distance to our next pub. Or it could be down to the disco starting, and the older members of the party finding Sabrina’s ‘87 classic ‘Boys Boys Boys’ is provoking some beer-inspired toe-tapping. But into the evening, and the monsoon, we must go. ONWARDS! GOOD FOR: Disco fans; nostalgia, mountaineers. BEST QUOTE: During a heated discussion on how this might be the highest pub in Beeston, Prof J (co-founder of The Beestonian and geography academic) decides to settle the matter once and for all “Right. I’m off home and getting my GPS’. He doesn’t. THE MALT SHOVEL We arrive soaked and drunk. Will this dampen our critical faculties? NEVER! Roopam, our correspondent on all things parenting, joins us for a night off from parenting. Tom is effusive about the burgers here, but we’re still too stuffed

from the Vic to try them. It’s a decent pub, handy for the town centre and the beer is good. Chris is particularly complimentary of the American IPA. The wallpaper, a giant ancient map of England, particularly pleases Prof J. GOOD FOR: Burger fans, map fans, being near to Sainsburys. BEST QUOTE: When Roopam arrives, and walks over, Prof J gives her a startled doubletake. “You look after my kid.” Roopam runs a local nursery. She replies, “Not tonight I don’t.” THE GREYHOUND There has been a lot of uncertainty about the Greyhound over the past few years. However it recently was taken over by the dedicated Rob Balmer who is working hard to bring it back to its past glories. It looks like he’s off to a flying start: the place is busy. We’re fittingly joined by our music editor Lulu. She is a massive fan: while we have a good amount of places putting on live music, no one does it quite as loud, so rocky, as The Greyhound. We salute you, Rob, and all that rock hard with you. Especially the bloke in the denim jacket at the bar, which has the word ‘FISTULA’ stitched on the back. GOOD FOR: Rock Fans, live music fans, people who would see watching X -Factor as less preferable than eating their own feet. BEST QUOTE: “WHAAAAT? WHAAAATTTT? I CAN’T HEAR YOU. WHAAAATT?” RYE Is the erstwhile Belle and Jerome really a pub? Since its new incarnation last year, with a stronger focus on the evening market, we reckon so. Plus, we’re on the menu. Yes, really. A piece about the etymology of Beeston that our history editor Joe wrote a couple of years ago now adorns the menu and the walls. We like that. We don’t like the realisation that we’re only half way round the survey, and are having difficulty pronouncing words of more than three syllables.

Craft beers and good wine mean this place isn’t cheap, but you’re drinking quality here. It’s well lit, the DJ spins some decent choons, and the staff are cheerful. I pass my notepad round for everyone to write a comment in. The following comes back: “Classy” “Aye yai lai Rye” “FEELS LIKE LONDON” “I like bricks” “DJ TASTIC” “I‘m underdressed” “I feel WEIRD”. That and a drawing I can’t describe, but is elaborately attempted nonetheless. GOOD FOR: Sophistication, good booze, late nights (license until 1am); you can go back in the morning and try the Eggs Hemingway. BEST QUOTE: “Craft ale. Craft ale. What is craft ale? Until that question is answered, I will have another.” POTTLE OF BLUES The last thing we expected when planning this survey was a new pub. Refurbs, yes. Closures, definitely. But an actual NEW pub? That bucks all trends. Admittedly, it’s a micro-pub, and right now only fits a couple of dozen. It is the ultimate pragmatist in what a pub should do: the beer drops straight from the cask, the staff are ace and it’s more like someone having an open-house party than a pub. The tininess encourages chat and before long you’re all pledging lifelong friendships. It has been only open a week when we visit, but is rammed. As we’re now a burgeoning party of 9, our collective entry is tight, but somehow we manage our halves and pottle on to the next pub. GOOD FOR: Ale fans, friendly people. BEST QUOTE: “Oh hell. I best get the jugs out” – Jen the landlady upon seeing us all enter THE LAST POST Ah, the Past Lost, where you can easily lose all memory of your prior existence after a few ales. It’s a Wetherspoons but perhaps the one closest to the heart of ‘Spoons w no is t tis ar is Th Head Honcho Tim a ed ne drunk, Martin. He was once new one** a resident of Beeston and according to local legend, came up with the concept of Wetherspoons after an unsatisfactory night at The Durham Ox. “I could build a better pub!” he apparently exclaimed. I relate this tale to the straggled army of Beestonian surveyors as we nurse our admittedly cheap drinks. By now, nobody really knows what we are drinking. It’s bizarrely quiet, but a member

of staff reassures us: “You should see it at breakfast”. We collectively know that won’t happen, especially tomorrow. We’re late in the day, well behind schedule, and taking casualties: designer Dan, who makes our mag look pretty, and draws The Beest, has to retire. This is not good. GOOD FOR: Cheap stuff. It’s a chain, but it’s reliably ok. Early-door drinkers. Ah, it’s a ‘spoons. You know. BEST QUOTE: “Tim Martin came up with the idea of Wetherspoons to build the best pub in Beeston.” “When d’ya reckon that will happen?” THE CROWN Like supine royalists, we bow down to The Crown. Once such a chaotically mad pub, it threw out its brewery and crap landlord and replaced them with just what Beeston needed: an indie that gave a damn about its clientele. While the Vic gave Beeston inspiration to make pubs better, the Crown stuck a rocket up its arse. A success from day one, it has never not been anything other than excellent. It’s packed when our team stumble in, and it’s hard to read the subsequent notes we took. But if we need to convince you to go down to The Crown, then you’re probably not really into pubs anyway. GOOD FOR: Come on now. If you like pubs, you’ve been to The Crown. BEST QUOTE: “Muaghh. Arghhh. Ahhhh bah hum gahhhh” (according to our notes). THE WHITE LION Our notes are sparse now, as holding a pen became too challenging. Yet we salute the White Lion for many reasons: it is the most excitingly diverse pub in town. Under the exuberant stewardship of landlord Sergio, it has become a pub like no other: part artgallery, restaurant, grill, cinema, story-telling centre, Hungarian night club, poetry venue, and much more. Things are looking tight. Prof J has deserted us just 7 hours after he first threatened to do so. The rest of us are by now decidedly shaky. Cocktails are ordered, despite our rules to just have a half in each pub. It’s late. We have to press on. Yet as we suck on our straws and let fine tastes flood our gobs, we seem to forget this. GOOD FOR: You name it. It’s both cosmopolitan in outlook - where else can you get a Hungarian starter, a Brazilian main and a Portugese custard tart in one meal? Sergio is one of the nicest people in Beeston, and the staff are similar. Just go there, ok?

BEST QUOTE: “What’s Portuguese for ‘help I think my liver just melted’?” THE STAR It’s nearly midnight. We have four more pubs to do. We have failed, but manage to cross The Star off, by a whisker, ordering a round just on the clang of the bell. Numbers are hazy now. I try a head count but find this isn’t ideal when you’re seeing double. After a huge refit The Star became very much a fixture of Beeston. Damien, the guy behind its rebirth, has a knack of taking old pubs that have long stumbled by, and turning them into something ace. Fans of Stapleford’s Horse and Jockey will know what I mean. We’re big fans. GOOD FOR: Ale, beer gardens (claims to be the largest in Beeston), the Tardis (it’s similarly massive inside); Austin (Beeston’s most prolific barman: he’s wowed the crowds at The Vic, The Crown and now here, over the years). BEST QUOTE: “So let’s all set up an off-shore tax haven on Barton Island.”

….and that’s it. We simply can’t finish off, so The Cricketers, The Bar, The Chequers* and The Hop Pole can’t be surveyed. We are a ragged bunch as we are turned out onto the cold streets. Someone suggests further drinks at their place, and some hardy boozers obligingly follow. However I have a book of notes to get home and transcribe and I can barely feel my legs. The one thing we do all agree on though is that we are dead lucky to have so many pubs and of such diversity and quality. We failed to get to four pubs. Many towns feel lucky to just have four pubs, let alone four more than can be visited in a nine hour trip. As for the missing pubs? Well, we’re just going to have to soldier on and do them for our next issue. I know, I know. This journalism thing is just dedication and hard work, isn’t it? The Beestonian does not condone irresponsible drinking. No animals were hurt in the making of this survey. If anyone has seen the bits of our party we lost between The Crown and The White Lion, please bring them back to Beestonian Towers after giving them a good hose down. *The Chequers is in Chilwell, we know. However we decided to use it to replace The (technically in Beeston) Nurseryman, as it has more contiguity with Beeston. And we’re lazy. **Thanks to Tom for taking over duties on the Beest drawings in the last 3 pubs - Dan had to go for a very important lie down...

Beeston Exposed W

ell I’ve made it. I didn’t think I could, but I have. There’s an old proverb that goes “a journey starts with a single step”. My particular journey started on 29th March 2006, and is still ongoing. Not a journey by foot exactly, but a photographic one, as ten years ago I started a blog called ‘Nottingham Daily Photo’. And, as the name suggests, I blog (almost) daily about Nottingham, although this isn’t strictly geographically true, as I have covered many different towns, cities and countries on my travels. In fact my first ever blog post was actually about Dubai. But for the most part it is about NG1 and NG9. Like many ideas these days, it came from the Internet. I was searching for something photographic on the web, and a site called Paris Daily Photo popped up. I took a look, as I have always wanted to go to Paris and follow in the footsteps of French photographers, Brassai, Eugene Atget and of course HenriCartier Bresson. I found the website quite absorbing, and learnt that many other cities across the world had blogs about them too. Sometimes more than one. I naturally checked to see if Nottingham had one. It didn’t, and so I took the mad decision to start one. I’m not really sure why I began with an article about Dubai, or what I would do with this new form

of creative outlet. But slowly I began to get the hang of it, and now ten years and over 3300 entries later, I have created quite an archive of my life, the places I’ve been to, the events I’ve seen and the people I’ve met. Beeston is, of course, featured quite heavily, with the various things that have gone off over the past decade. The tram works, Oxjam, Beeston Bay and the rising stardom of Emma Bladon-Jones to name a few. Matt has also appeared several times in different guises, as well as other local notables like Jeanie Barton, Tim Pollard, Jimmy Wiggins and Hallams’ very own superstar Toni “They’re not French” Fox. I’ve used quite a few different cameras since I started the blog, beginning with a Canon point & shoot, moving to Panasonic, then Nikon. I’m now an Olympus guy, and can’t see me changing again anytime soon. I like to think that the quality of my photography has improved immensely through the years, and that I now have a good eye for a picture. Although of course, photographers, like every other type of artist, are continually developing their skills. Excuse the pun. Talking of which, I always try to come up with a snappy, or amusing title for my entries. I have managed to build up a good following across the world, and have nearly reached half a million page views. Of course I’d love a lot more. Comments too. A few years ago, the blog was featured in the Evening Post, in an article written by journalist Erik Petersen, which gave the blog a bit more exposure. Oops, another bad photography pun. Who knows where the journey might take me in the future. I must admit that I have thought

about giving it up on several occasions, as sometimes it’s felt a bit like a millstone; in trying to come up with new photos and text every day, and the thought that I have to post, even though I might not have come across anything any good. But I plan to continue for as long as I can, in whatever form it takes. My blog can be found at http://beestonblog. blogspot.co.uk. CDF

BEESTON PARENTS

hen I was four years old, I was a fantastic artist. You could ask me to draw anything: real, imaginary, or a mix of the two, and I would just get on with it. I would use anything available that makes marks. Things like: •

•

• •

•

• •

•

chewed-up biros – in those days they had a death cap on them that was a serious choking hazard. No strategically-placed airhole in the seventies; stubby pock-marked crayons with or without the paper wrapping. It was a bonus if I could see what colour the crayon was meant to be; felt tips – if they were dried up I would just lick the end; broken pencil nibs. Not the pencil bit, just the broken-off bit. I did have very small hands all those years ago and could hold the 7mm length quite comfortably; paint, with strange nylon brushes that always pointed out in a multitude of directions, so each line painted would come with an echo; Plasticine – yes, it left greasy faint marks on the page; Most shockingly, I found that matches had a lovely red bit on the end that I could draw with - not for long, and not without the pain of an important lesson on how not to use matches; My Mum’s makeup - I loved lipstick.

didn’t dissolve back into the surface. It was even more fascinating to tear it and create rough, irregular frayed edges. I found the perfect combination of media when I was allowed to use pastels. Degas created masterpieces using just the pure pigment of pastels and his fingers. I’m off now to get some chalky, denselypigmented pastels and some lovely, rough sugar paper. The children at nursery will love that. But what happened? When did my unbridled joy in creating art and pictures turn into fear and embarrassment? Pablo Picasso said: “Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up.”

•

print art by hiding it behind the sofa. Not sure that they loved it as much as I did. Steamed up windows – how could anybody resist drawing on those? It was extra special when there was ice too. It curved up beautifully in the corners, like a Victorian illustration, and added extra sensory crunch to my artistic creations. It was such fun to draw with my fingers in the condensation, leaving cold drips streaming from the trails I drew. Paper – so many wonderful textures, colours, surfaces. I really liked to use the sugar paper at school. It was mysterious to me – we didn’t have anything like it at home. It was brightly-coloured, rough on one side and smooth as ice on the other. When I folded it the folds stood proud and

Not only could I use an impressive range of media to make the marks, I could create my works of art almost anywhere: • The skirting board going up the stairs was brilliant. It went on and on, and I loved making a wiggly continuous line along it. It was a stunning landscape – mountains, valleys, hills, hummocks and some sheer cliff edges. It was enhanced by being on the diagonal, rising upwards. • My parents painted the living room a wonderful shade of lilac. I really loved sneaking in and making hand prints in the wet paint. My parents preserved the hand

The Beestonian is...

Lead Writer/Founder • Lord Beestonia Co-Founder/Resident Don • Prof J Editor • Christian Design • Dan Business Manager • Mel History Editor • Joe Earp

I strongly believe that when we draw for children, cut things out for them, give them colouring sheets and dotted lines, we chip away at their childish joy. The joy they feel in just drawing, painting, exploring, experimenting and creating. We are telling them that they are doing it wrong and that they cannot do it the right way. We are teaching them that a house has to be a square with a triangle for a roof and a door set smack bang in the middle of it. To encourage our children to be creative, we have to let them be creative and create what they see, what they feel and what they can imagine. If they want to draw themselves as three times the height of your car, that’s fine. If they want to make a snowman with three eyes and two mouths – fine. Who says that snowmen have to look a certain way? If they want to put their hands in the paint and swirl all the colours together into one slurry, then slowly and systematically cover every square inch of the paper, or piece of foil, or box, with that colour, then fine. Let them enjoy the process and learn how to make marks, how to enjoy making art and how to take pride in their work. There is plenty of time for them to conform when they are older and when they want to. Imagine if Degas had been told not to use his fingers and to stay within the lines. RC

Top-notch contributors this issue: Christopher D Frost, Lulu Davenport, Jade Moore, Colin Tucker, Scott Bennett, Roopam Carroll, Tim Pollard, Tom Roberts, Daisy Leverington, Ric Salinger, Matt Turpin, Christian Fox, Karen Attwood and Deman. Printed by Pixels & Graphics, Beeston

Stockists: Rye, The Hop Pole, The Crown, The White Lion, The Star, The Greyhound, Flying Goose, Mish Mash Gallery, The Malt Shovel, The Guitar Spot, Broadgate Laundrette, Bubba Tea, The Bean, Beeston Library, Cafe ROYA, Newsagent on Chilwell Road, Metro, Beeston Marina Bar and Cafe, Attenborough Nature Reserve, Pottle of Blues, Greenhood, Beeston Nursery, Oxfam Books, L’Oliva.

FOOD!

his month has been a bit of a blur. Work has taken over, and despite my best efforts to eat a balanced diet, or indeed to actually make time to eat at all, I’ve been compiling a list of food which a person can eat without offending the people you share a work space with. My shifts are anti-social to say the least, so mealtimes are basically just times throughout the day when I put food in my face. I rarely sit down to eat without a computer keyboard catching my crumbs. I am a leading mind in the field of snack research, and I have every intention of completing my PhD very soon.

My first tip is nutritious and mysterious, both qualities I prefer in my elevenses. The granola pot is your friend. Do not be afraid of its texture or taste. I spent 33 years in its absence and what a waste of a life that was. Imagine, if you will, hiking through the Peak

District, head low, tongue dragging on the forest floor. Every piece of bark, nut, seed and deer turd sticks to your palette like bluebottles on flypaper, except it tastes a bit of yoghurt. That is a granola pot. Go nuts, eat nature. You’re welcome. My second recommendation is slightly less rural, based instead upon the rigours of innercity living in 2016. The mighty bagel is very cool at the moment, regularly featuring in the fashion mags in the hands of Class A celebs. My secret tip is chocolate spread. I don’t even care, judge me like your Grandma would, but

there it is. Get the Nutella out and get your blood sugar working for you. Your metabolism and carb-lust will thank me, I promise. If you’re worried about nutritional content then this might not be the column for you. In fact this probably isn’t the column for anyone who enjoys food. My last tip (yeah whatever, I only have 3, I’m not Willy Wonka) is beetroot. Honestly, anything that turns your wee pink is fine by me. It’s healthy, unusual in colour and taste, and a great talking point if you are ever saddled with a boring colleague by your side. No one wants to discuss beetroot. They WILL leave. It doesn’t smell so no one gets offended, and if you work late into the evening like me you’ll have a ready supply of lip stain and blusher should yours have worn off. I can’t fault beetroot. Apparently you can bake cakes with it too, but if you ask me you should probably just buy a normal cake and get over yourself. And so concludes my nutritionally and culturally rich column. I feel we’ve all learned something important. Thanks for being with me on this journey. DL

BEERAGRAM PUBS, DRINKS, BREWERIES, EVERYTHING BEER RELATED... UNSCRAMBLE IF YOU CAN!

1. Wet Beery Boners 2. The Palavers 3. Fullest Oboe Tap 4. Locker Cast 5. Shuns Care 6. Food Foot Prism 7. Radiophone Lob 8. Yum Eel Knob 9. Worrying Avian Beet ANSWERS: Beeston Brewery/Harvest Pale/ A Pottle Of Blues/ Castle Rock/Sunchaser/Profits of doom/Robin Hood Pale/Blue Monkey/ Navigation Brewery/

CODEWORD

‘On break’ Location: The top of Acacia Walk, Beeston Pen & Ink by Dan Cullen

Secret Nottingham Secret Nottingham by Frank E Earp and Joseph Earp

New Book Available from May 2016

“Every corner of Nottingham is rich in history and if the streets could talk they might tell of the people and events they have witnessed. Many ancient secrets have remained untold, such as the purpose of the great Viking ‘longhouse’ found beneath the site of a demolished Victorian factory, and who built the ancient mound that once marked the site of the spot where a King of England raised his standard. Perhaps the city’s greatest secret of all lies beneath its streets: a labyrinth of over 500 manmade caves. Visitors to Nottingham are often

told not to stamp their feet too hard as they never quite know where they will end up. Father and son authors, Frank and Joe Earp, are privy to these and many more of Nottingham’s secrets. Come with them as they share their knowledge within the pages of this book.”

Available from all good book shops and also available on-line. The book can also be ordered directly from Amberley Publishing: www.amberley-books.com/secret-nottingham.html Telephone: 01453 847800

OXJAM: We`re Back! It’s May already and, as I write, people are peering at that strange yellowy thing in the sky and waxing lyrical about flowering things appearing all over the place. Maybe, in your excitement at the sudden appearance of a phenomenon known as ‘Spring’, you’ve been anxiously looking around for signs that, despite rumours to the contrary, one of Beeston’s great institutions has survived the winter to re-emerge, leaner, fitter, brighter than before. Well, look no more: this article is the ‘green shoot’ you’ve been eagerly awaiting: the Oxjam Beeston Music Festival is back! From its modest origins six years ago the Festival aka ‘Oxjam Takeover’ - has grown to be, last year, the biggest of Oxjam’s forty-odd festivals around the UK, raising a record-breaking £17,000 for OXFAM. For 2016 we have a Team of volunteers - some experienced Oxjammers, some new - who have already got a plan of events that we’ll tell you more about in the coming weeks. So get your diary out - here’s how it looks so far: •

Wednesday June 8 - official ’Beeston Oxjam Launch and Music Quiz’ at the White Lion;

•

Saturday July 2 - ’Oxjam Unplugged’ Middle Street Resource Centre (a new Oxjam venue but easy to get to by tram or bus, which stop outside, or just five minutes walk from the Interchange) - with licensed bar;

•

Friday 16 September - ‘Oxjam Introducing...’ (Under-19 performers) - at The Shed (Youth and Community Centre);

•

Saturday 24 September - ’Oxjam Ceilidh’ venue tbc

•

Saturday 15 October - Oxjam Takeover’ - venues and artists tbc

•

Saturday 12 November ’Classical Oxjam’ - Beeston Parish Church.

For details of the above as they become confirmed - and more events - check our Facebook page and website (oxjambeeston. org). Tickets for some events will shortly be on sale from Oxfam Books and Music in Beeston or online from wegottickets.com (10% booking fee). We are also looking for volunteers who could help with any aspect of the Oxjam Music Festival, from artists’ liaison to publicity to general helper. If you’d like to know a bit more, email beestonoxjam2016@gmail.com and we’ll get back to you. It’s barely six months to go and only a few weeks to our launch event/pub quiz. See you there? CT