Issue 18 of The Beestonian by The Beestonian

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ISSUE 18: Eight or ten readers can't be wrong.

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Contents University of Beestonia / BESTonian / Quids in / little sod / Once upon a time in a shed / Soapbox Brown / Horace's Half hour/ Flamin' Nora / Beeston Beats / Famous last words…

Auf wiedersehen, pet

The Beestonian is… Lord Beestonia – Editor and writer extraordinaire Tamar – print design; chivvying Top-notch scribes this issue: Lord B, James Brown, Nora Dimitrova, Joe Earp, Chris Fox, Lottie, Prof.J, Prof.S, Jimmy Wiggins, Tamar

"Strangest pet we ever sold? Well, I once had to courier a tarantula to Edinburgh. Sat on a train, surrounded by people, with a box on my lap containing this exotic tarantula. That was pretty strange." I’m talking to Carol Zlotowitz, one half of the owners of Pet Mart. A much-loved institution, Pet Mart wasn't much more than a ramshackle hut, but it stood proudly in the centre of Beeston until succumbing to Tesco’s bulldozers. And the Zlotowitzs and their staff really knew how to apply the personal touch to the retail experience. "A customer in Edinburgh had ordered the tarantula. Back then

reptiles and arachnids were very rarely kept as pets, so we always ensured we checked the customers and their ability to home and care for the pet," says Carol’s husband Steve, in that endearing way of co-telling a story long-married couples use. "I got to Edinburgh, but then I was looking around and I thought how strange it was that the buses were red double-deckers and all the accents were southern. Then I realised I’d got on the wrong train. I was in London! I went to the guard station, explained my situation and the guard kindly let me keep the tarantula warm on the radiator while I went into London and sorted myself out.

I got back to find the guard had been delighted with the arrangement: nobody had dared venture into his office all day." This is just one of many anecdotes Steve and Carol tell us when we pop over to interview them. Living in what looks like a country cottage lifted up and dropped onto a side street near Beeston station, they ply me with posh lemonade and biscuits. Steve and Carol moved to Beeston after spending some years in the US (Steve’s home country, betrayed by an accent that sometimes rolls its ‘r’s). They took over a former pet shop, renamed it Pet Mart and worked on an ethos of "bringing American levels of service and atmosphere to the British small shop: brighter, lighter and carpeted." They also ensured they were engaged with the customers: they trained their staff thoroughly and in doing so, built up a strong relationship with the community. They were to pets what Hallam’s is to fruit, or what Hogg’s was to meat: a shop that is more than the sum of its parts; a shop rooted in the community and an antidote to the faceless banality of supermarkets and chains. (contd. on page 3)

The University of Beestonia Following our ‘women’s issue’ last month we received the following, picking up on some of issues raised by Mrs Prof J. Many thanks for Prof S for getting in touch and for adding her own experiences of this important issue. Think engineer, think Wallace and Gromit, James Dyson or Isambard Kingdom Brunel. Mrs Prof J’s article in issue 17 of The Beestonian made me think, because I am one of only 4/68 professors in the Faculty of Engineering at the University of Nottingham who are female. I nearly didn’t write this article, because I don’t like to raise my head above the parapet for these sorts of things, but I’ve become a bit of an accidental ambassador for women in the more maledominated branches of academia. Mrs. Prof J. is right, there is a problem. Somewhere, academic women’s careers in STEM (science, technology, engineering and mathematics) subjects stall. But, in response to her rallying call to “show the guys how it’s done” I thought it was worth thinking about some of

the things that could and should be done to help encourage women to enter careers in STEM, and to make sure they stay in their jobs. athenaswan.org.uk recognises the challenges in career progression faced by women in STEM, and asks institutions to demonstrate how they are supporting women’s careers. This can be tricky – how do we support women without positively discriminating towards them? When you’ve got children or other care responsibilities, it is difficult to juggle your family and your work commitments (and I’m sure I sometimes get that balance wrong). One thing that can be helpful is for employers to provide support (e.g. enabling flexible working, or providing career mentorship) to help women through their stage of life that is very important to both their family and career. One of the problems is that women aren’t naturally good at the self-belief that is required to apply for an academic promotion. Characteristics that can make women particularly skilled as researchers or managers (good

listening skills, better pastoral skills, probably less of an ego to massage (my colleagues might beg to disagree…)) might also hinder them in pursuing an ambitious career path (so they may be more modest, or not want to put themselves forwards for leadership roles). I was told on one of the excellent training courses that the University runs to support women when going through their academic career path that a male academic will try his luck with a promotion application when he has a 10% chance of success, but a female will wait until it is 90% certain before they try their luck. So we need to encourage women to push themselves forwards and perhaps to develop a thick skin when it comes to applying for competitive funding or a promotion (and perhaps revisit the promotion criteria as well). We will know there is no longer a problem when we no longer need to discuss it, when people aren’t surprised that it is my (very supportive) husband and not me who has chosen to work part time. We are making progress in the right direction, but that progress is slow

and stalling, and takes a generation or two to overcome. We need a big increase in the number of girls taking science (especially physics) at school, more to select engineering and science at University and more to stay with an academic career if we are going to see anything like equality over the next 40 years. A friend passed me a nice anecdote. “A woman academic’s successes are hers, but anything short of that is felt as a failure for half of mankind”. Prof. S MAYFEST LOGO here

On the 18th of May our colleagues East of Broadgate once again open their doors for MayFest 2013. The Beestonian’s presence at the event last year attracted so many people for this year’s that they no longer have room for us (this may not be entirely true), but it’s a fun day so we’d still encourage you to go along.

nottingham.ac.uk/mayfest

BESTonian - Beeston’s Finest: Chilwell Road, Beeston

Holding a street party on a day of snow and icy blasts of wind might seem like a daft idea. Who would choose to pound the tarmac and see the stalls over a Saturday tucked inside with the central heating turned up to Caribbean? Well, as it turns out, lots of you.

You came in droves, and stayed all day. A few of you then packed out the Hop Pole for an evening of music presented by Oxjam and compered by an increasingly tired and emotional Lord Beestonia. Thanks to all of you who came over to our stall to say hello,

and we salute those who also checked out the impressive range of shops that line the street. Each one an independent, each one ran by an enthusiast, each a little gem in its own right. It’s now crunch time for the street, as it closes to through-traffic for a year. Many people around Beeston have assumed ‘closed to through traffic’ means ‘closed’, period. Oi, naysayers, get your facts right. Chilwell Road is very much open, very much alive, and now it’s pleasantly quiet and easy to cross from pavement to pavement. The shop owners need you, and you need them. Let me explain. When the tram comes in December 2014, there is a real fear it will suck the life out of Beeston. This can be avoided if we have something unique here, something people

in Nottingham will travel west to enjoy: and what better than a parade of idiosyncratic shops, book-ended by The Crown and the sprawling arts complex that Bartons is fast becoming. A Chilwell Camden Town; a Beeston Bohemia. This is only possible if you get your collective arses down there NOW, and spend your spondoolies with vigour. Eschew the chains, shun the multi-nationals. Or be condemned to pace, hollow-eyed, around the endless aisles of souless shopping hangars.

(contd. from front page) "Our staff were like a family. We saw ourselves as a proud uncle and aunt to all those who worked with us. We still keep in touch with many," Carol looks wistful, "that’s what I really miss. The people."

" We didn’t miss cleaning out the animals. Really we saw the whole thing as another door opening." It was an involuntary closure in many ways. While all around was levelled for Tesco, Pet Mart stood alone, defiant and proudly resisting the destruction surrounding it. Eventually, however, it was forced to succumb when their landlord died. It was with great reluctance that they announced their retirement. The last thing Steve and Carol did as the owners of Pet Mart was to make sure all their customers would be taken care of after it closed. Always in contact with suppliers and other businesses, they personally directed customers to new shops, proving their ethos of great customer care even to the very end.

I was there on the last day. The shop was empty except for hay bales for seats, wine, nibbles and people. Lots of people. A sombre occasion, but the outpouring was unanimously positive. Note after note were handed to the couple, thanking them for their years of help and service. They've kept all

Well-wishers leave their mark for Steve and Carol.

of them. However, they're the first to admit that the change was not entirely bad. "We didn’t miss cleaning out the animals. Really we saw the whole thing as another door opening." Indeed, they refused to slip off into sedate retirement. Carol threw herself into charity work, while Steve... well, I’ll quote you Steve’s business card: 'Animal adviser, business consultant, cat minder, dog trainer, feminist, grandpa, herpetologist, philosopher, reptile geek, snake fanatic, young person mentor &

little sod May:

Approaching apace is the best part of the gardener’s year. It’s the bit when brown becomes burgeoning and that big, flat Nothing develops countless green fisted pods of start. Veggie seedlings look more like something that makes food rather than an unidentified weed, and herbaceous perennials (them

and all round handy guy.' Steve remains true to his original interest. He consults to local pet shops and manufacturers, as well as working for the Think Children charity, and Carol visits schools to talk about issues such as domestic violence. The legacy of Pet Mart is strong. This wasn't just a business, it was a part of the landscape and the community. Countless children will remember Steve and Carol coming to their school, library or Scout troop, to show off their animals and provide some entertainment and education. Other people will remember the various celebrities who visited, such as Diana Doors and Danny La Rue. “It was hard. For a year I couldn’t drive down where it once stood, it upset me so much," Steve tells me, visibly upset, "it took time to adjust, you do one thing for all those years and then it just stops...we feel better for it now, but sometimes...” he leaves the sentence unfinished, and Carol gives a tacit nod. There was a small ‘phoenix from the flames’, however. After a few years, their son, Joey, secretly raised funds to have a plaque placed exactly at the spot where Pet Mart once stood – now Tesco's car park. Pet Mart is still missed. It was an example of independent business and all of the good that stands for. Lord Beestonia and Chris Fox soft-stemmed plants that die back in winter and keep coming back to surprise you year after year) are poking through like the embodiment of tenacity itself. This can only mean one thing: Spring has sprung proper. Which can only mean one thing: summer is practically here! However, unless you’re very lucky/ spoilt/rich, these things don’t make themselves, so here’s a few pointers on my favourite - and key - things to be doing this month in your patch of England: • Plant stuff. That’s right. Now’s the time to fill gaps with lush perennials; sow hardy annuals directly where you want them to be and trim any dead, old stuff off existing plants showing signs of life. • If you’re going for tall, or bushy perennials this year (Dahlias, Peonies, Salvias, Delphiniums,

Quids-in

EllieTurpin, aka Lady Beestonia, has worked with the Beeston Oxjam Festival raising money for Oxfam for several years now. But recently she decided she wanted to take things up a notch. Ellie has signed up for the Below The Line Challenge, where she will live on £1 a day for 5 days. Ellie signed up so that she can better understand the lives of the people Oxfam supports. And she urges other people to get involved too. She aims to raise £250, all of which will go straight to Oxfam. “It's really easy for anyone to take part but it also provides a real insight into what it's like to live in extreme poverty.” She begins the week on 29 April, so if you see a hungry-eyed woman glaring at your pasty while you read this, it’s probably her. You can donate online at: livebelowtheline.com/me/eleanorturpin or you could even sign up and commit to your own week. Best of luck Ellie! Chris Fox etc.) put natural-looking supports around them now - such as birch branches or ‘twiggy pea sticks’ - so that the plants grow up and around them, covering them as they go. • Now things are warming up a bit, turn the soil to let air and moisture in to the compacted ground, weeding and checking for slugs and snails as you go. • Spotted self-seeded new plants or something getting a bit big for its boots? Dig them up, divide and pot them up to put elsewhere in your plot or share with friends. Who doesn’t like free plants, eh? Enjoy your garden – and don't forget to do a bit of stretching before digging or lifting. I forgot to last weekend and ended up hobbling around like a Tit chmarsh until Wednesday. Tamar

Once upon a time in a shed... In the first of what we hope will be a regular feature, local historian Jimmy Notts sheds light on a piece of local legend. Jimmy is part of Nottingham Hidden History, a fantastic group who have been unearthing some incredible stories over the last half-century. Find more at: nottinghamhiddenhistoryteam. wordpress.com Thomas Humber was born on 16th October 1841. From the time Humber founded his factory at Beeston in 1869 to the time the company was sold in 1896, Humber established himself as the first maker of series production cars in England. The young Thomas moved to Nottingham from Yorkshire in 1849 with his parents Samuel Humber and his wife Lucy, nee Turton. Thomas was to experience Nottingham’s Industrial life very young and was taken into the employ of a Mr Cross of Mortimer Street, Nottingham. He was not formerly apprenticed to Mr Cross’s trade of wheelwright and blacksmith but ‘picked it up’ well enough for his workmates and his foreman to notice his skill at forging parts for lace-making machinery.

Humber Works pre 1904,

After a year with Cross, Humber moved to join Bitterly Iron Co, and here, his exceptional skills and talent came to be noticed. Despite his success and the entreaties of his employer for him to stay, Humber wanted to broaden his experience and knowledge. The following years found him moving from employer to employer and learning his trade.

Thomas Humber circa 1890

Prior to setting up on his own business, Humber was employed as ‘chief-blacksmith’ in the factory of William Campion on Roden

" Humber now set up in business for himself, producing bicycles in a shed at the back of his house" Street in Nottingham. It was while working for Campion that Humber was inspired to go into bicycle making. In 1867, Campion visited Paris to exhibit the line of chainstitch domestic sewing machines his company manufactured. While in Paris Campion saw and purchased a French velocipedes of Michaux type. This, he brought back to Nottingham and asked Thomas Humber to make six sets of copy forgings. At this date, the system where the pedals acted directly on the front wheel was a break through. Humber, however, was to improve this design and in 1868 created a safety bicycle whereby the pedals drove the rear wheel. Humber now set up in business for himself, producing bicycles in a shed at the back of his house on

Nottingham Hidden History Team

Northumberland St. in Nottingham. Such was the high demand for Humber’s breakthrough design he was forced to move to bigger premises on Stretton St, Nottingham. Here, Humber produced his ‘Spider Bicycle’ an early form of the ‘ordinary bicycle’ (penny farthing). By the 1870s Humber formed partnership with Frederick Cooper and Thomas Rushworth Marriott. The triumvirate proved to be a powerful combination with Humber continuing to devote his attention to design and production. The now famous Humber works in Beeston was built in 1880. By 1892 Thomas Humber was employing 1200 people and when he branched into motor car production this rose to 1800. By this time the businesses were locating to other factories outside of Nottingham in Wolverhampton and Coventry. The Beeston Factory products however were synonymous with the highest quality. By the time Humber died of Cancer in 1910 his work and legacy were revolutionary in influencing future motor and cycle companies. Even though Humber was not born in Nottingham it is his early working career in Nottingham industries that influenced the great man. From early years of small production in his shed at the bottom of his garden to becoming one of the largest motor and bicycle firms in Britain. JN

WANTED

flying goose café

33 Chilwell Road, Beeston, Nottingham NG9 1EH 0115 9252323

Experienced Sales & Marketing person to join IT Services company based in Beeston on a part time/flexible basis.

Open 10 ‘til 4 Tues to Fri / 9 til 4 Sat ▪ freshly prepared food ▪ good coffee ▪ relaxed atmosphere flying goose cafe has been described as ‘Nottinghamshire’s smallest arts venue’ and ‘Beeston’s Left Bank’! A café with an emphasis on Vegetarian, Vegan, Fair Trade & Organic food, freshly prepared to order.

Must be IT literate and be able to demonstrate a successful track record in IT or a related technology sector.

We would love you forever if you support us whilst the tram is being built as we shall remain open throughout this time.

Please send a CV with a personal introduction to: jobs@digievo.co.uk

Soapbox Brown: Young pup or past it? I feel, at the age of 37, I am in the 'no man’s land' of the circle of life. I know this because of the following: 1.) I do not have to 'phone my nephew to come over and set up my new DVD player, but do need to check the instruction manual to do it myself. 2.) I no longer hammer down the motorway in the fast lane, going well over the 70mph speed limit, but I have not yet reached that age where I feel the need to hog the middle lane for the duration of my journey. 3.) When something outrages me on television I now begin to

write a letter, but have not yet ever actually posted one. 4.) I do not know which I am more concerned about, the places I am losing hair or the places I am now finding hair sprouting. 5.) I still know that sandals and socks are a no-no when it comes to fashion, but do enjoy removing my shoes when I get home to put on a nice pair of comfy slippers. 6.) When I get in my car I am still not at the age where I want to tune into Radio 4, but have reached the age where I much prefer the music on Radio 2 to Radio 1.

6.) When I watch football on television, I only know half the players on show, but remember almost all of the coaching staff playing several years ago. Lastly, 7.) Apart from heavy nights of ale consumption, I do not need to get up in the middle of the night to visit the toilet, but I do know that if I don’t make it pretty sharp

first thing in the morning then there could be trouble. One thing I loved at the age of 16, … erm, I mean 18, still do now and will do in the latter years of my life is a good yarn at the pub with a fine pint of Real Ale. Some things never change thankfully. Long live the pub! James Brown

Horace’s half hour

Let's Get Local Quizzicalfication

(ANSWERS BELOW, UPSIDE DOWN. TURN THE PAGE – NOT YOUR HEAD – AND YOU'LL LOOK LIKE YOU'RE DRIVING THE BEESTONIAN BUS)

1. Beeston police station now stands on the junction of Middle Street and Chilwell Road, where was it prior to this? 2. What was the name of the pub / nightclub that stood on Station Road near to Tesco? 3. During the 1950s, how many cinemas were on the High Road?

4. What type of business used to occupy the site now used as an undertakers on Wollaton Road? 5. Before moving to Stapleford, where in Beeston was the ambulance station? 6. What was the first supermarket in Beeston? 7. In what year was the fire at the Swiss Mills building on Wollaton Road: 1983, 1984 or 1985?

8. What was the route number of the Barton Transport bus service which ran from Nottingham to Derby via Queens Road? 9. Who was the headmaster of the Church Street schools from 1932 – 1958? 10. Which Beeston born actor played Dutch detective Van Der Valk in the TV series of the same name?

11. A memorial to a Sergeant W. Jowett who died in 1856 of wounds received in the Crimean War is where in Beeston? 12. Between 1880 to 1907 which company made bicycles, motor cycles and motor cars at a factory on Humber Road and Queens Road?

MANOR PHARMACY (24, CHILWELL ROAD / CHARLIE'S BARN / 2 (PALACE, PALLADIUM / BLACKSMITH'S / QUEENS ROAD / BURTON'S (12-16 HIGH ROAD C.1960) / 1984 / 5X / ARTHUR COSSONS / BARRY FOSTER / ST. JOHN'S CHURCHYARD (CHURCH STREET) / THOMAS HUMBER (EMPLOYED 2000 PEOPLE)

Flamin Nora: UKIP '

Nora goes solo on yet another orange crate debate. This month it's a one-woman tyrade against a political party she has particularly personal 'beef' with at the moment - to which Tamar had no desire whatsoever to counter argue…

‘Why Ukip are nobbers’ by Nora Dimitrova, 22 and a half years old.

I won’t pretend that I haven’t felt personally attacked and offended by Ukip’s hate campaign on the “29 million Bulgarians and Romanians”. Last summer a regular drinker at work asked me whether I’d have to marry an English citizen to remain in this country indefinitely and a couple of months ago an old primary school friend asked me why I hadn’t “gone home” yet. I’ve tried to brush it off over the last few week but I just can’t, and not because I was born in Bulgaria and have family there, but because this sort of covert racism and outright xenophobia are not acceptable today, and mostly because I was taught that singling out people and picking on them is wrong. Blaming a certain group of people for a country’s hardship doesn’t sound at all familiar, does it? Of course, it isn’t racist or xenophobic if Ukip want to limit immigration, right? Is it racist to want to control the borders and have manageable levels of immigration? No, it really isn’t. It’s the little words that really make a difference. But it is wrong to look for a scapegoat for why this country has been in decline over the last few years. It is wrong to provide people with false figures. It is wrong to refer to two completely different countries that have very little in common as one. It is wrong to take advantage of gullible people and make promises that cannot and will not be fulfilled. It is wrong to claim that most immigrants currently living in the UK claim

benefits when in reality the Eastern European migrants who arrived after the 2004 EU enlargement are 60% less likely to be receive benefits or tax credits than the natives. The Department for Work and Pensions stated that 5% of non-British EU citizens claimed an ‘out of work benefit’ compared to 13% of Britons claiming the same benefits. Migrants from outside the EU were also considerably less likely to rely on benefits and tax credits. The idea that over half a million of Bulgarians and Romanians will be immigrating to the UK just in 2014 is actually laughable when you take into consideration that Bulgaria’s population is just under 7 million. So yes, Ukip’s immigration policy reminds me of a desperate baby sitter trying to hold their charge's attention with a box of shiny objects. They are the uninterested mothers who would rather buy her child a T-shirt than investigate why the old one was ripped and covered in blood. It is easier to blame the outsiders rather than do some work, make cuts for the better and

“Our membership of the EU costs £53million a day and another £23 million a day goes out in foreign aid”. Those really are impressive figures but if there is one thing I took away from Commercial and Contract law, it is definitely this well-known rule – “If it’s too good to be true, it probably isn’t”. Being a member state provides huge benefits ranging from free movement of goods and people to cheaper mobile phone roaming charges and flights. Norway for instance is not a member of the EU but due to the European Economic Area agreement they are free to trade with member states so long as they adopt relevant EU legislation. It seems that leaving the EU would result in higher prices on imports and exports and restrictions on British citizens wishing to work abroad but complete freedom from EU laws. The alternative would be to follow in Norway’s footsteps and save money on trade but still abide EU law. Interestingly enough, none of the above is mentioned in Ukip’s manifesto. In fact, unlike the Conservative party, Ukip

Nigel Farage, Leader of Ukip – and 'man of the people'...

be hated. Another issue Ukip really like to push is leaving the European Union. It’s in the name after all. The EU has robbed and controlled this country far too long and it is time to break its oppressive shackles. I’d like to now quote from their manifesto, which I would like you to read aloud in an insulting and dismissive voice,

(Image from vice.com)

don’t appear to have an actual plan as to how and when the UK should leave the EU because they seem to completely ignore the fact that there are currently trade relationships, organisations and administrative issues to consider first. Sparing potential voters the fact that leaving the EU, the party’s main agenda, will be a lengthy, costly and frustrating process is a

flaw that former party members like Martha Andreasen have drawn attention to but in vain, it seems. Nevertheless, if there ever was a gap in the political market for a confused, slightly racist and paranoid party, Ukip have undoubtedly filled it. What really cements my dislike of Ukip however is their refusal to grant same sex couples the same basic right everyone else is entitled to, the right to marry. To add further insult to injury, Ukip stand behind the ridiculous belief that only a “small but noisy” minority within the gay community demand the right to marry, thus making this issue unimportant. Gays are more than happy to have fewer rights than heterosexuals it seems. According to Ukip anyway. This issue of marriage equality is a great inconvenience apparently, and one caused by the European Court. If it weren’t for those pesky human rights, people would not have realised that the gay community is being discriminated against. However, let’s not mistake Ukip’s concern for Britain as a refusal to enter the 21st century. According to their website, current proposals to change the law would lead to nothing but monstrous tyranny. If the Government is to forbid Churches from marrying gay couples that would be tyrannous and would no doubt lead to an intervention from the European Court. However, forcing Churches to marry gay couples due to EU law would be no less tyrannous. ND [ Lord Beestonia steps in: Nora’s rage writing this article reached a point where she literally couldn’t continue. While The Beestonian does not endorse one party over another, we are unanimous in our opinion that anyone using barely disguised racism, hate, lies and scaremongering to gain power is unwelcome in the wonderfully diverse land of Beestonia. As we go to press before the County election result is announced, we don’t know how they got on, but we’re hoping they made no in-roads into Beeston, Broxtowe, or anywhere in Nottinghamshire. We’d also like to say something about the BNP, but as few of them are able to read there is little point. – Ed.]

s t a e B n o t Bees

This issue, I was supposed to be writing about something else. But then I was struck by inspiration. I thought maybe I could try to become Beeston’s answer to Steve Lamacq, or one of many other entities that tell you how important and life-changing a new band is. You know the sort – don’t they really piss you off? They do me, I mean I’m probably quite a bit more of a music fan than the next guy, but I don’t get the whole “lifechanging”/“most important band you’ll ever hear, this year” thing… I mean, really life changing would be finding out you had to lose a leg, or that your child wasn’t yours. Those kinds of things are life changing. A group of young lads who have just about learned where their dick is; have hold of some cool haircuts and own an instrument are not going to change my life one iota. So, fat lad, what are you going to write about that’s positive? … Well, we have something happening in Beeston that I don’t understand and only found out about through having a drink in The Hop Pole. It turns out the barman, Jack, is in a band. I hear this a lot off folks, “So-and-so’s in a band” - like they expect us to make howling noises at each other and indulge in some odd mating ritual. Anyways, Jack’s band is all Beeston lads and has an interesting name. Anyone who has ever been in a band will know that the hardest part is thinking of a name that doesn’t make you sound like a bunch of pretentious twats (there’s always the less helpful suggestions – usually from the

drummer – like “ why don’t we call ourselves Anal Badger Spunk?”). So, our Beeston boys who have really excelled in this are called… brace yourself… Boots Booklovers. I like it. ‘Be funny if they did the music for a Boots’ TV campaign. Apparently, the name has something to do with a library and Jesse Boot. I think. I was drunk when I found out. Truth be told, I don’t listen to many new, young bands (in case my life changes), so I am possibly going to sound like someone’s dad – hopefully not mine, as he usually announces everything new as a load of old shit and then proceeds to get really angry (have you ever seen a small man get really angry over nothing? Priceless). Our Boots Booklovers put me in mind of the Friendly Fires – and that is my frame-of-reference shot. However, I do like to think I know the difference between chicken salad and chicken shit and these boys are of the salad variety. They are mooted for big things, and while I don’t think they’ll change your life, they might just put Beeston on the musical map. That will be something good, ‘cos if I hear one more thing about Swing Out Sister or Little Barrie I might puke. ‘Gotta go! Apparently, Zane Lowe has stopped talking absolute drivel about music and they need a standin… JW

You can listen to the excellent 'Shoot Me Down' and 'Kitchen Sunk' for free online by going to: soundcloud.com/boots-booklovers Follow the lads on Facebook at facebook.com/bootsbooklovers and on Twitter @bootsbooklovers to keep upto-date on their latest news, releases and gigs.

Jimmy Wiggins can be found selling guitars and all things guitar-based, and giving Blues guitar lessons at The Guitar Spot, Chilwell Road, Beeston (and most pubs of an evening...).

Famous last words… Facebook us, Tweet us, email us or even scribble us a proper, handwritten letter (we love those the most). We’ll publish it here, usually unedited, for all to see…

If you would like to sponsor us, post an advert or become a stockist of The Beestonian, please email us at: thebeestonian@gmail.com

Dear Beestonian, I am a poet and a teacher, and I have been running a poetry workshop at The Other Space. I had a stall at the Street Party to put together a communal poem celebrating the best of Beeston and the cream of Chilwell. This was a great opportunity for all of us, of all ages, to contribute a line or two which put together will demonstrate quite powerfully how we feel about this marvellous stretch of road. Thank you very much to everyone who stopped and talked, and shared their memories and thoughts. If people are fed up because they are not in it, I can only say that it is simply because Beeston is clearly far more than one poem. – Becky Cullen (see the final poem, right) The Tram by Mick Rose The Tram wam bam they‘re putting it right there and they really don’t care Beeston is losing its clothes We’re almost bare and they really don’t care we’ve lost the trees and the dog walk field wam bam they’re putting it there and they really don’t care it’s a conservationist’s nightmare Backs to the wall as we pass the works The Beestonian shouts out ‘"the shops will close" Have they thought it through? do they really not care do they bollocks

THOUGHT FOR THE MONTH "In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this." – Terry Pratchett

Johnny Pusztai at Est. 1884

Chilwell Road, Beeston by Becky Cullen (and Street Party goers) I stand outside the place that is an Arts Centre, was an ice-cream parlour, was Blacklocks, was the Co-op, and it is cold. People should stay at home; they don’t. They talk about Beeston, Chilwell Road, say the The Hop Pole is a bridge, summon siblings baking bread, Beeston Pipe Band, Victor Oades. They ask What could be better than walking along the Trent?, thaw out speaking of childhood summers - and the river looms large; fishing, sea scouts rowing to Barton Island, family picnics, swimming at the weir. We like to pile our hair up for rock and roll all-nighters at The Shed, cut a dash with Peggy Payne, Bromage Webster, Redhead Scott. Then the shops; Mr. Corker’s, a hair cut at Trigger ’s saloon, Boden’s, Ford’s, Sheila’s, Hogg’s, Sid Standard’s, Appleby’s, Hallam’s, Ashley Peake’s, Charlie Fogg’s. We make Queen Victoria laugh. We’re not daft, look at the plaques. There is something in our air that is good for centenarians. We take children to paint pots, sing at the library, meet friends at the park. They play the guitar. They learn. A boy says he likes trams, and full of stories, I watch the past and present mix. I wonder how we keep so many hairdressers in business, music in our pubs and on our streets. Perhaps it’s time to do what we do best: stay smart, sing, remember that we dance, tell each other stories, make good use of our hands. Dear Beestonian, One of the various delights of the burgeoning Beeston music scene has been the advent of ‘JazzClub’ held every first Friday of the month in The Commercial’s nondescript upper room where the performers play to an audience directly in front of them and at right angles to their left on what is normally (by the looks of the lighting) the disco dance floor for parties and other events. The unimaginatively named ‘JazzClub’ does what it says on the tin, the missing space a minor concession to modernity. Beeston is lucky indeed to have its very own ‘house band’, consisting of the ubiquitous Ian Beestin on drums (he seems to be the local ‘go-to’ guy when ever percussion is required, be it rock, folk-rock, blues or jazz - he’s also one of the brains behind JC and a number of other local music projects such as the late lamented ‘Music Quarter’), Geoff Pearson on double bass and Neil Hunter on keyboards. All are highly competent musicians and the prospect of an evening in their company would alone be sufficient incentive to don one’s jazz attire, stroll down to The Commercial

and fork out five oncers. However, the normal format is to invite a ‘star’ name (perhaps even from, wait for it, London!) to perform with the so-called ‘BoHop Trio’. Get yourself down to the NEXT one (2nd May, since you ask). – Colin Tucker (via email)

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