Worthy
16
THEBIGISSUE.ORG.AU
D
ear Stacey, You’re a rebellious little thing, and a bit of a party animal. Have fun, but be careful, too. I know you’re trying to cope with stuff that happened in your birth family. It all looked pretty happy, but there was stuff under the surface. You’ll learn better ways. You’re still at school now, at Ocean Reef Senior High. I know you think it’s lonely and boring, but maybe try to avoid wagging school. And stay away from those kids who do the same – you don’t need that bad crowd. You’ll have a life-changing trip with your foster mum and her grandchildren, where you find out about Hotham Valley Tourist Railways. You’ll end up joining up as a coach captain and a cleaner. The job will make you feel important. It’s the first time you’ll feel like you’re part of a team – people who love and care about you. You’ll have fun and learn new things, and the joy you’ll get from meeting new people will be something that’ll come up all through your life. You’ll also learn there are good people in the world who don’t want to hurt you, or take advantage. This is where you’ll soon meet your now ex-husband. He’ll pick you up from school and together you’ll go clean the trains at Forrestfield Marshalling Yards. You’ll fall in love. You’ll find out you’re pregnant at 16-and‑a‑half. You’ll be shocked, happy, excited, scared. You’ll be head-over-heels in love with the baby’s dad – you’ll reckon he’s the best thing since sliced bread. When the kids at school find out, they’ll think it’s a lie and bully you. It’ll get you down, but you’ve got to ignore them. They’re just silly kids who don’t know nothing, and you’ll manage to rise above it. You’ll move in with the baby’s father and his parents. It’ll be a happy time. You’ll get engaged. You’ll get married and have another baby. If I could revisit any time in our life, it would be a few years after this –
at 18 with two children – when we were all still in love and happy. But don’t be such a people‑pleaser. You’ll think it’s the only way to keep a family together, and that if you don’t keep everyone happy you could lose your new family, too. Ask for help. Being a young kid, who’s never dealt with a lot of traumatic stuff, who’s learning to be a mum, leaves you a bit like a volcano ready to explode – the pressure is too much. Know that you are good enough for your fiancé’s family. And as a mum. Looking back now, you probably would have been better off going it alone with the baby. Maybe things would have been better if you hadn’t married the baby’s father. You might not have lost it all, kiddo – the kids, the partner, the family… But being part of it all will help you learn later in life that family’s everything. The biggest and only lesson I can pass on to you is that you can’t rely on others to provide you with anything. Happiness, love, togetherness: if you do have all these, you are lucky and you should keep it all, any way you can. When you get to 44, you’ll know to take better care of yourself, instead of putting other people first all the time. You’ll make a decision every day to look past the hurt; put a smile on your dial; put on some colourful, cheerful clothes cos it’ll make you feel happy – it’s a bit like your big, kind heart’s shining through – and head to work. You’ve just got to get on with life! Get into your garden because it’ll make you feel calm, and same for your knitting and art. Cook good old-fashioned stuff and enjoy hanging out with your awesome cousin, Kaia. You’ve got to be proud of getting on with it all, letting go of the hurt and making something of yourself. You’re worthy of the good stuff. Wishing you peace, love and rainbows, kiddo. Stacey
photo by Ross Swanborough
You’re of the Good Stuff
Stacey
17
29 JAN 2021
SELLS THE BIG ISSUE AT ROYAL PERTH HOSPITAL AND VICTORIA PARK POST OFFICE, PERTH