THE RANDOM 20 5. If you were sent to an island for a year and could only bring three things, what would you bring (the island is already equipped with a magical power source, a phone and a laptop)? A massive inflatable in the shape of a flamingo, a bottle of rum to go with the abundant supply of pineapples and coconuts, and Maggie O’Farrell’s entire back catalogue, as I realised, when I heard her on Desert Island Discs the other day, that I’ve never read anything by her. 6. What would you like to tell 15yr old you?
Everything will be alright. 7. Most embarrassing moment of your teen years? Uh uh. No way. I’ve spent years trying to forget that stuff and reinvent myself as Successful Writer. You’ll have to ask the people I went to school with. 8. Who’s your celebrity crush? It gets harder as you age, not to feel ashamed of yourself for fancying the same type you fancied as a teenager, ie men in their twenties, so I’ll just pretend to like Daniel Craig, like every other forty-something woman (actually it’s Iwan Rheon). 9. What book did you read last year that stayed with you? Three Women by Lisa Taddeo. It uses the experiences of three different women to explore female desire and sexuality: which sounds really worthy, but isn’t. I recommend it for women of any age – I guarantee you will relate to it – and to men
who want to understand women better. 10. What was the last gift you gave someone? As a Father’s Day present for my dad I’ve just bought a framed woodcut of a Dore etching from The Ancient Mariner. It is loaded with meaning that he and I will get. Hopefully he’ll laugh. 11. What shop can you not pass without going in? Peter Jones in Sloane Square. I’m with John Betjemen: nothing unpleasant could possibly happen there. I’ve written all my books in the café on the 6th floor. In fact I went into labour there too, which I think should entitle my son to free scones for life. 12. Favourite quote? Movie, book or inspirational - we won’t judge.
Day might not be as replete with thoughtful gifts and pampering as everyone else’s on social media (#blessed), sent me a bottle of gin. Best Mothers Day ever. 15. A penguin just walked in the door wearing a panama hat. Why is he here? To give me my Nobel prize and my million pound cheque. 16. Your top three mostvisited favourite websites (excluding social media!)? Like most writers my internet history is both random and sinister.
The last thing I Googled was How to Destroy Bones and the one before that was about autoerotic asphyxiation.
I had a boyfriend who used to say this to me if I was sad: ‘All shall be well and all manner of things shall be well.’ It’s by the English mystic, Julian of Norwich, and I used to think it was a bit earnest, but it has stayed with me over the years. I also like ‘Suck my fat one’ from Stand By Me.
The only website I visit with any regularity is BBC Sounds, as sometimes it’s the only thing that will quieten my racing thoughts enough to sleep. My favourite section is Horror and Supernatural, but I do love a good In Our Time, especially about science. That sends me off in a nanosecond.
13. Write the review for your latest book that you wish someone would leave on Amazon for you.
17. What in life is frankly a mystery to you?
Sarah Naughton’s recent Nobel Prize for literature was highly deserved, as was the seven figure advance this book received. Five stars. 14. What was the last gift you received? A friend with her own teenage boys, predicting my Mothers
How people feel very strongly about trivial things (eg. Megan and Harry) and ignore huge issues like political corruption and cronyism. We laugh along when they joke about it on Have I Got News for You and then promptly forget about it, so those in power get away scot free. You don’t beat the system by laughing at it, you just make life easier for the political elite.
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