7 minute read
Health
Understanding the lessons from grief
Gordon Fong looks back at a year of loss that left his family stunned – and shares what he has learned about coping when tragedy happens
It’s always good to remember, as we make it through another Christmas season, that the holidays can be a difficult time for many people. The colourful TV adverts and magazine photographs of happy family gatherings may have been the total opposite experience for some people this year. For me, this was the first Christmas without dad, who had recently passed away from a severe bleed on the brain. Actually, if an author set out to write a story of family tragedy, they would have looked at my last year and paused, thinking ‘this is too much’. Because it wasn’t just my dad. On the day my dad died, mum came to the hospital and told us her eldest brother had just died earlier that morning. Two days later, I had to wake my mum to tell her that her eldest sister had just died. Within minutes we were in the car, to go and comfort that family. Just before dad’s funeral, we visited my favourite aunty. I always remember her kind words, and it was pleasing to see her smile and hear her laughter again. However, once home, we heard she had collapsed and been rushed into the critical unit at hospital. We didn’t even have time to go home after dad’s funeral service because we needed to go and say our last goodbyes to aunty, who was waiting to be taken off breathing support. There was to be one more sad event, for one more of my mum’s siblings. The youngest sister would lose her 12-year-old grandson to a brain tumour just two weeks later. The whole family was just stunned and numb. Reeling. Five gone in such a short space of time. Funerals were interspersed with the weddings that had been planned for so long. I learned a lot from this short period.
Be there
I saw the importance of having others around in numbers, whether visiting the hospital or the bereaved household. I also saw patients who had no visitors whatsoever; I think that is worse. Even families dealing with their own grief travelled to support others. Be there if you can – they can always say no. Once dad was in his own side room, the whole family took a turn to watch over him, 24 hours a day. It was an opportunity to say what we needed to say and to help during his times of discomfort.
Don’t be quiet
Remember to talk about those you’ve lost; their good parts AND bad parts. Even joking about them helps keep their memory alive. Those conversations might bring some emotions, but when shared, I found it comforting. Share photographs on social media or in private messages – in their turn they might bring out some unseen ones from others. Enjoy those memories. Try and remember that grief and a strong wave of sadness can catch you at any moment or be prompted by any situation. Something so simple as seeing their favourite drink on a supermarket shelf, as I did, or hearing a place mentioned that The whole was a favourite family holiday family were destination. Turn it into a positive memory there and then, if you just stunned can. and numb And we all need help sometimes. Reaching out to friends, family and the many support organisations is important. Gordon Fong is a business owner known for being a champion of Southbourne
How to do Veganuary the right way
Enthusiastically starting veganuary will often start well but swiftly falter on the know-how, says nutritional therapist Karen Geary
As we’re slightly later this month, I’m hoping to catch you at the stage where you enthusistically began your ‘veganuary’ month and now the motivation is waning (or you still want to do it but don’t know how to start!). With a bit of planning, plantbased diets can provide all the right nutrients. I actually used to be vegan myself, and my most creative time in the kitchen still comes from preparing meals that are plant-heavy.
Balancing your plate
A plant-based meal should always consist of a protein, a healthy fat, a carbohydrate and four to five different types of vegetables of different colours in order to access plenty of fibre and micronutrients. This month, try to widen the variety of fruit and veg you eat in a week. A great goal is 30 different types of plants. Go shopping at the end of the day and try some of the veg that supermarkets sell off at half price. Remember, you can count herbs and spices in the 30! • Protein
Without meat, your protein sources include beans, lentils, tofu, chick peas, peanuts, tempeh, seitan, nut butters, quorn, protein powders such as hemp and
pea, plus all the nuts and seeds. • Carbohydrates You need one portion of these – pick from potatoes, sweet potatoes, whole
Living on grains such as rice, wheat, vegan sausage buckwheat, quinoa or oats. rolls for the All fruit and veg count, and don’t forget these don’t have month is not a to be fresh! Frozen, tinned healthy diet! or dried all work. • Fats Try using flax (a good source of omega 3) or avocado oils as well as olive oil.
Key nutrients to focus on
Deficiencies can be common in vegans who don’t consider their nutrition properly. It is important to take extra care around getting the right amount of protein, iron, zinc, vitamin
by Karen Geary, Nutritional Therapist DipION, mBANT, CNHC at Amplify B12, vitamin D, omega-3 fats, calcium, selenium and iodine in the diet. • Iron - find it in beans, lentils, chickpeas, tofu, dried apricots, dried figs, molasses, quinoa, kale, spinach, broccoli, cashews, chia, flax, hemp, pumpkin seeds, dark chocolate. Eat vitamin C food, eg citrus, leafy greens, etc, to help with iron absorption. • Calcium - find it in fortified cereals and dairy alternatives, tofu, leafy greens, tahini, dried fruit, nuts • Omega 3 is in walnuts, flax, chia, hemp, soya beans • Zinc from nuts, seeds, legumes, whole grains, quinoa • Selenium can be obtained from brazil nuts, sesame seeds, broccoli, cabbage, spinach, shiitake mushrooms, chia seeds and brown rice. Selenium is essential for iodine uptake. • Vitamin B12 is in nutritional yeast, fortified cereals and dairy alternatives.
When to supplement
As a vegan, it can be very difficult to get vitamin D, vitamin B12 and iodine from food sources alone. The quality of sources can be highly variable and/or they are not in the correct form needed to be absorbed in sufficient quantities. Supplements are recommended for vegans (and there are plenty suitable for vegans), but it is better to get tested before supplementing in order that the right amount is taken.
But what do I eat?
Please don’t be a junk food vegan! Living on vegan sausage rolls for the month is not what I would call a healthy diet. I
HEALTH once counted the number of ingredients in a well known supermarket vegan pizza – there were 98! And the majority of them I didn’t recognise. Get in the kitchen and keep it simple:
Breakfast
• Plain soy or coconut yogurt, some stewed apple, topped with nuts and seeds. • Or scrambled tofu on toast.
Add a bit of turmeric so it looks like eggs and stir fry a few tomatoes and peppers in it, or enjoy with a side of avocado or kimchi. • Or some simple porridge topped with nut butter, berries, and maybe some molasses for sweetness.
Lunches and dinners
• Minestrone soup is a great option, and you can make a big batch as it will keep in the fridge for days.
Sauté onion, carrots and celery in a little oil until soft.
Add veg stock, herbs, a tin of tomatoes, a tin of beans (eg butter or cannellini) or chickpeas, some shredded cabbage, a small handful of rice and season. Serve when the rice is cooked through. • Oven traybakes such as sliced sweet potato with cannellini beans cooked in coconut milk spiced up with ginger and chilli, topped with breadcrumbs. • Curries such as red lentil – we’ve shared this lentil dhal before. It’s a tasty one-pot
Indian dhal curry that’s ready in just 25 minutes.
With red lentils, coconut milk, and simple spices, it’s a protein-packed, creamy and delicious meal. •
