Feeling lonely? Find some friends and have some fun

By Angie Henderson CONTRIBUTOR

The Okinawans have a beautiful tradition called “moai.” This practice is credited with helping them live extraordinarily healthy and long lives.

A moai is a group of about five people who were matched together as children by the elders in the community. They made a commitment to love, support and protect each other their entire lives. This second family, as they call it, meets a few times a week to laugh, cry, celebrate, or just chat. Many moais have lasted 90 years!

Sadly, modern life has found most of us becoming more physically isolated, even while technologically more connected. The pandemic shined a light on an increasing problem – isolation and loneliness.

According to an article from the National Council on Aging, loneliness hurts us not just emotionally, but phys- ically as well. Stunningly, loneliness and social isolation can be as detrimental to health as obesity, not exercising, and drinking too much alcohol. It puts older adults at risk of high blood pressure, heart disease, anxiety, depression and even dementia.

“Socialization is a key factor in brain health from the ages of infancy to 99,” said Joy Nelson, director of marketing and communications for Memory Matters, a local nonprofit organization whose mission is to provide memory care to Lowcountry families. “Socialization fosters lifelong learning. They go hand in hand. When you socialize you are stimulating neurons. When this is happening, your brain is function at 100%. Unfortunately, as we age, we spend more time alone or just sitting in front of the TV. As soon as you isolate your neurons can die off. Socialization is very important for ev-

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FRIENDS from page 17A eryone whether you’ve been diagnosed with dementia or not.”

Memory Matters programs offer a variety of activities, including art therapy and pet therapy. But it’s the connections and the conversations during these activities that are so meaningful.

This is what Peggy Sue Misset, 64, found missing from her life. She moved to Bluffton from Maryland two years ago to be closer to her brother, after a broken ankle and other health issues made it difficult for her to be alone. Even this very outgoing woman was a little trepidatious about moving to a new state, but she had family and her “never met a stranger” attitude.

Misset busied herself by trying new restaurants, visiting museums and other hot spots. This came to a screeching halt when she developed Covid. Loneliness came knocking and didn’t want to leave.

Without her outings to keep her busy, Misset said she had time to reflect. She realized what she was missing in her life was her “moai,” her tribe. So, she got on Facebook and looked for groups.

There, Misset found the Friends of Bluffton page. Through that group she found a canasta club. This was her ace in the hole. So much more than a card club, Misset found a “phenomenal group of women. The love and support I receive from these women are amazing,” she said.

“If you are sick, they show up with chicken soup. If you miss a game, they’re calling to find out why,” Misset said. “I tell everyone I feel so young at 64! I’m more active than I’ve been in years. I’m living my best life and it’s all because of my friends!”

Eddie Bruner, Savannah, couldn’t agree more. A few years ago, Bruner found himself alone, without any family, and longing for companionship. He heard about Riverstreet Poker from a friend and joined the group. Bruner had no idea how his weekly poker night would become a lifesaver.

Recently, Bruner lost part of his leg due to diabetic complications, which resulted in a four-week hospital stay. “The nurses would comment on my good attitude,” he said. “I never really got depressed. In the beginning I was worried about missing my poker friends.”

But Bruner didn’t have to worry. Several poker members spent time with him in the hospital, sharing their love and support, and – of course – poker updates. The support didn’t end there; his friends helped support him financially by passing the hat at their games. “Those guys helped me pay my bills,” Bruner said. “I really hit the jackpot.”

After Bruner returned home, his poker buddies continued to pick him up and drive him to the games. “I’m not sure if it’s me or my money they wanted to see,” Bruner said with a laugh. “But all joking aside, I love and appreciate my friends so much. I don’t know where I’d be without them.”

While strengthening your social circle is extremely valuable to good health, it’s not always easy. Here are a few ways to find new friends:

• Download the Meetup: Social Events app and search for clubs that you are interested in. Some local ones are Lowcountry Adventures and Moore to Life Outdoors. These groups meet regularly to explore the Lowcountry.

• On Facebook, look for the groups Friends of Bluffton and Born in the 50s, 60s, 70s group. Choose which one appeals to you.

• The Hilton Head Senior Center offers numerous ways to expand your social circle while learning a new skill. They offer line dancing classes, painting lessons, card, and book clubs. The website is hiltonheadseniorcenter.org and the phone number is 843-7856444.

• The Bluffton Library has several book clubs, crafting groups and various other activities that offer opportunities to socialize and make friends. Call 843255-6497 for more information.

Angie Henderson is a freelance writer with a special interest in seniors across the Lowcountry.