Making My Way As “New Kid On The Block”

By Shannon Copcutt EDITOR

It’s one thing to move as a child and make new friends. There are loads of opportunities to meet people through school, sports, clubs, and birthday parties even. And most children will welcome a newcomer fairly quickly into the fold. After all, its just another person to play with, and the mentality is usually the more the merrier. However, as an adult, it is not nearly as easy to build new friendships especially if you are the “new kid on the block” (or in town).

Having lived my entire life on Long Island, NY, I had childhood friends, work friends, high school and college friends, neighborhood friends, and “mom” friends made from bonding our way through having kids, surviving toddlerhood and the preschool years. So, making friends seemed easy.

But in moving my family to Bluffton, SC-where I did not know one single person-- I realized that making friends as an adult can be a bit more challenging, and that, much like middle school on Long Island, there are cliques and other obstacles to finding my place here.

It may seem strange to talk about because many may think they left the clique mentality behind in school. All I can say is that as an adult making her way in a new community, I have hit a few brick walls to making friends. I have been shut down and shut out of talking with people who either don’t want to get to know me or consider me a New York outsider and are not interested in welcoming me into their small network of friends. While this has been a real eye opener (and headache creator), hitting the brick wall a few times has taught me a valuable lesson. I realized that sometimes I will need to look for a door to get through that brick wall and show people who I really am and hopefully create a relationship. Trying a different approach to build a rapport with people often does the trick. If it doesn’t, maybe they genuinely don’t have time for a new friend or are short-sited and don’t see the benefit in it right now. That’s ok too. But we should always make the effort.

Parenting, grandparenting, working, and life in general is tough enough. The last thing we need to feel is lonely or excluded by our neighbors, especially in a new environment.

Luckily, there are people out there who are willing, or even excited, to expand their social universe with outside perspectives and experiences involving newcomers to their inner circle. I have been lucky enough to find these welcoming folks who have seriously made the integration into this small, beautiful community almost seemless and definitely more joyful! Getting out there IRL (in real life) is always harder to do, but

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PUBLISHER

Kevin Aylmer, kevina@blufftonsun.com

EDITOR

Shannon Copcutt, editor@blufftonsun.com

GRAPHIC DESIGNERS

Wendy Price

GENERAL MANAGER

Melissa McCullough

Contributors

Collins Doughtie

Jada Gains

Dr. Kenneth Horup

Dr. Jean Harris

Weston Newton

Nanette Pierson

Jean Harris