UNTITLED Adrianna Williams LETTER TO MY YOUNGER SELF “TBA”
Summer Series 2019 Dear Younger Self,
Smile and protect your peace.
The Bridge is happy to present its first summer series that contains work from both members and nonmembers. Thank you to everyone who contributed their unique talents, expeiences, and stories to this year’s summer series.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Your Smile ......................................................... 1 Be as Loud as the Day you were Born............ 2 Mantras............................................................... 3 To a Younger Me................................................ 4 Invest in You....................................................... 6 Letter to my Younger Self................................. 7 Dear Younger Me............................................. 12 Tears.................................................................. 13 Recap and Rewind........................................... 14 Enough.............................................................. 17 A Letter to my Younger Self........................... 19 Resilient Child of Mine...................................21
UNTITLED YOUR SMILE Adrianna Williams Adrianna Williams “TBA”
Dear Younger Self, Smile and protect your peace. When times get tough, When the going gets rough, And when all seems like it’s Dear Younger Self, following apart. Smile Smile and and protect protect your your peace. peace, young queen. For that is always a good start.
1.
UNTITLED BE AS LOUD AS THE DAY Adrianna Williams YOU WERE BORN “TBA”
Liyu Woldemichael
Dear Younger Self, Dear Younger Self,
Smile and protect your peace.
You deserve to be heard, but you must also remember to listen to yourself.
2.
UNTITLED MANTRAS Adrianna Williams
Debora Cordero Martinez “TBA”to live by.” “Here are things
Be nicer to yourself. More often than not, you’re hard on yourself— incredibly hard on yourself. Try harder to stop comparing yourself to others. Your journey is Dear Younger Self, unique. You hold talents and abilities that only you have. Embrace them. Smile and protect your peace. Fall in love with yourself. I wish you learned sooner that your curls are beautiful, that your caramel complexion fits every inch of you perfectly, and that your brown eyes hold the universe in their deepness. Be selfish. Realize your needs early — it’s okay to say no, it’s okay to admit you’re not ready, it’s okay to put yourself first. Stop sacrificing your needs for others, it stunts your growth. Pain is the biggest lesson. There will be difficult times that you can’t avoid. During these moments, remember that pain feeds growth. You’ve survived every bad day until now.
3.
TO AUNTITLED YOUNGER ME Adrianna Williams Daniela Rodriguez-Puente “It’s okay“TBA” to be wrong”
To a younger me: Sometimes you’re wrong. Sometimes you’ll do everything right and the world will close its eyes. That’s a-okay, the world doesn’t owe you a thing. Depending on what age I’m Dear Younger Self,it isn’t some catching you at, you already know this and stress-inducing, groundbreaking fact. The world doesn’t Smile and your care, but this is freeing idea: you canprotect do it all. Youpeace. decide. If I know you at all, you’re hard at work and stressing hard, but with the peace of mind that it is only because YOU want to. Relish in the triumphs and keep on looking for what makes your heart move. Nothing else is worth it, and people will try to change your mind, but remember: you decide. Oh, and on the topic of stressing...stop. As the future, advanced, hotter version of you, I can assure you stressing has never gotten us anywhere faster, it just makes the trip more unpleasant. You’re going to get where you’re meant to be regardless, the stress is just making us age faster :( . Following your heart is going to be so easy for a while, because being yourself unapologetically is what you do best, but just wait. College will ROCK you. It’s something about feeling so small when you’re used to being strong and rooted. The identity politics will shake you. You came in as a Mexican girl who moved to idyllic Mayberry as a kid, who has been getting good grades, treating her elders politely, and who LOOOOVES singing along to Antonio Aguilar songs. 4.
UNTITLED Adrianna Williams “TBA”
Now, you’re a first-gen, Latinx, low-income, student of color, Dear Younger Self, and it’s not that these facts weren’t there from the beginning, but they are now so present in your life that it’s hard to see yourself and protect as just a girl who sings loud.Smile I’m talking to you your as thatpeace. freshlyshaken up girl, and I want to tell you it’ll be okay. I know you’re used to being certain, but being wrong is okay. Be broken. Be humble. Humility precedes honor. Now that you’re okay with being wrong and with learning to be newly comfortable with yourself, don’t be scared to speak out. Man, people will really try to con you out of your experiences. Yes, college is divisive and it makes you feel like you have to have your little group to fall back on. No, people do not have to pretend to relate to your experiences to try to fit in and in the process, degrade your trauma. That’s wrong, and don’t let it fly just for the sake of not arguing, you’ll waste a whole school year letting people like this dictate your mood. In summation, you know who you are, and that has always been your power. Okay, cool. Don’t be scared to be wrong and have to start over, that is also part of who you are. Imagine thinking you’re immune to change, how gross! I love you bunches and don’t be scared.
5.
UNTITLED INVEST IN YOU Adrianna Williams Maryam Asenuga “TBA”
Dear Younger Self, Dear Younger Invest in Self, yourself and in your own happiness before Smile you andtry protect yourinpeace. to invest others.
6.
LETTER TO MY YOUNGER SELF Destiny Mulero
Dear Younger Self, Comparison is one of the many great evils. Do not compare yourself to others. You are blessed and you are headed down the right path.
7.
BAREFOOT Neomy Rodriguez
“Don’t be afraid to take your shoes off.”
It’s really funny how life plays out sometimes isn’t it? When I think back on my childhood I remember all the times I was happy. I remember always riding my bike and now I exchange that for taking the bus. I remember being comfortable in the back of my parents car and now I’m uncomfortable in an Uber. I remember always being loud and spontaneous and now I’ve traded it for silence. Moving forward with life is something everybody has to do but is also so difficult. Until now I’ve never sat down and thought to myself how would the younger me feel about who I am now. Would she be proud of the person I grew into or would she be disappointed? I hope with all my heart the little girl that my mother used to scold everyday to put shoes on is proud of who I’ve become. Little girl had so much attitude and always so much responsibility, I know taking care of our brothers was never fun. It was such a chore to look after them and having our whole world rotate around them was never ideal. We didn’t get a lot of attention as a child because we were forced to be an adult since early on but still even as a little girl we knew it was for the best because my parents needed that extra hand. As you get older you get to see a lot of things you thought you’d never see! We moved out of Missouri and to Florida for the first time ever you see a bunch of people that look like you. Hispanics everywhere! It’s such a relief to know you’re not the only Hispanic around isn’t it? And guess what you finally get to meet some of your family! 8.
You’ve only heard stories and seen old photos but once you turn 10 you finally get to meet your grandparents! I wish I could tell you to prepare yourself for the disappointment. I know mom and dad had only said good things but things aren’t always what we hoped for them to be. With our family that’s usually the case so don’t let it sit on your heart to heavy. Let’s skip around and get to the heavy stuff. I obviously can’t warn you about everything what’s the fun in that? You need to make mistakes that’s how you grow. Don’t beat yourself up for every mistake you make whether little or big. It took us some time but we finally graduated high school! We even earned a scholarship! We ended up losing our scholarship though because you had to step up and support your family and work a full time job.. you don’t have to be perfect. I know it’s hard working a full time job and paying all these bills just to end up in the same predicament. Your tears mean something, have faith one day things are gonna get better and you’ll be able to go to school and not have to worry about your brothers. Remember just because you have big shoes to fill doesn’t mean you won’t be barefoot again. Trust in yourself.
9.
FOR MYSELF THEN AND NOW veronica niamba
“i love you. love yourself too.”
dear veronica: i don’t want to spoil anything, but life is pretty good right now. you make it into college, a good one, and they’re paying for all of it. you will have to fight financial aid on multiple occasions though, so get ready for that battle. you are incredibly intelligent. do not let anyone undermine you. your emotions are valid. try to express them more. this one’s hard. i’m still working on it. you will meet amazing new friends. it’s okay to let go of the ones you don’t feel connected to anymore. your dark skin is beautiful no matter what anyone may say or think. please still wear sunscreen though. we don’t need this black to crack. you may be young, but your feelings are important. your gut is right (almost every single time). listen to yourself. no one knows you better than you. you’re kind of funny. nothing profitable, but you make do. you deserve things. ask for them. ask for help. ask for anything.
10.
write. you might not think you’re good at it (i still don’t think i am) but here we are. read. i wish i still read as much as you do. things will seem out of reach for you, but i’m still trying for us. i won’t give up. there seem to be more cloudy days now, but the world is still beautiful. people you thought loved you will leave your life, but you are still important. what you have to say is important, let it out even if it seems that no one is listening. fight for what you believe, even if it feels like you’re losing the battle. our wildest dreams are going to come true. love, a slightly taller, funnier, wiser, cuter, bolder, more confident you
11.
DEAR YOUNGER ME Sawyer Uzzell
It’s okay to be unsure of what path to take. Just take time to explore and the rest will figure itself out.
12.
TEARS
Merialys Borges
High school was filled with many disappointing and depressing memories. Why did you have to cry after every failure? Why couldn’t you see it was for the better? Why couldn’t you get up and fight harder for your education and your personal life? Every failure led to tearful nights on my bed, facing my wall, hoping and praying that I could get through this feeling. Well after eighteen years and 8 months, you finally did. Countless defeats led your eyes to open and look out in the horizon and your mind to expand and mature in ways that I today still can’t describe. Crying to my wall has taught me the one thing that I will always value; don’t ever let anyone tell you your worth because at the end of the day, I am the only person who decides that and now I don’t give any fucks anymore about people’s opinions. Thank you younger self because I’m the one that has your back. Me, myself and I, always and forever.
13.
RECAP AND REWIND Dakota Douglas
“Have confidence in knowing you don’t have it all figured out.”
To my younger self, Hi love. In August, you came to your pre-orientation program as a naive and excited student. You saw the chance to make friends and do research, and you took it. As your family dropped you off at Duke—in town with both parents, both brothers, and your Nana—you couldn’t shake that anxious feeling. How would your new friends see you as a black woman and with family members with eccentricities and disabilities? Your embarrassment at the thought of being seen with your family forced you to hurry along the move in process and shoo them out of the door. During this program, you made friends and memories and you carried the momentum into orientation week. And then you stopped. You sit in your room and cry because the thought of eating at Marketplace alone was enough to paralyze you. Instead you call your friends and family back home and cry. In September, you start classes but you felt the fire from August dimming. You try to feel normal. You go to the Lou, you go to church, you even talk to your friends from orientation week and your pre-o. You join LDOC Committee, the Black Womens’ Union, and Wind Symphony. You’re in a fellowship. You’re doing everything right. But the fact that you can’t make connections with the familiar faces from summer group chats and the other Fellows in your pre-med classes makes you think something is wrong with you. People try to get you to open up, but you don’t feel like you have anything to share, so you say nothing. 14.
In November, you decide enough is enough. You decide to go to CAPS to finally ask for help.You tell them that you don’t feel like you and you feel like you don’t know how to manage college. They listen to you and they help you come up with a plan. You don’t realize this then, but admitting that you don’t have it all together is the best decision you made this semester. After going to CAPS, you go to the ARC and get advising for your classes and learn how to study. You feel more connected to your extracurriculars. You find solace in your professors and the amazing staff at the Womens’ Center. You begin to reach out to people and realize that the “no new friends” attitude is b.s. because there’s always opportunities to share bits of yourself with people. You feel more courageous. You apply to program and fellowships and scholarships with hope in your heart and that fire begins to spark again. In January, you start a new semester. A beginning full of opportunity. Life flips upside down. You stop talking to your best friends from back home. In February, you receive rejection decisions from every program you applied to. In March, that boy you liked didn’t say hi back in Shooters even though you swore you were cool. Your dad loses his job. In May, you cope with the loss of a high school friend from gun violence. Your chemistry grade drops--way to go premed. You take rejection hard and you take a while to process tragedy as it comes to you. Duke is not the rosy place you dreamed about. But it is the place that makes you fall in love with the struggle and the grind. These are the moments that shape your perspective of the world. Everything that happens works to form you into the beautiful woman you becoming and begin to love her as you become her. You became secure in your insecurities. You realize that it’s okay to not be in control. You embrace the awkwardness. 15.
The strangers from first semester transform into confidants, “box-braiders,” “Chopped” marathon watchers, late night study buddies, accomplished musicians, talented athletes, and Marketplace dates. They are family. Duke becomes your home away from home. And you feel more connected to your family back home. You call back home and laugh to your Nana about that time you knocked someone’s plate out of their hand in Marketplace and you cry to your Dad about the injustices of the world. You reconnect with friends. And you feel parts of your old self returning. And you feel new parts growing. The past two semesters showed you what resilience is. They showed you how to love, how to take rejection, how to process emotions during difficult times and all times, you learned to enjoy your introversion and independence, and you learned your worth. I’m so proud of the journey you are on and the love that you have for people in this world. Keep doing you boo.
16.
ENOUGH Anonymous
“You are enough.”
Dear younger self, More often than not, you feel like you don’t fit in. It feels like you don’t like the same things as everyone else, you don’t act the same as everyone else, you don’t do the same things as everyone else. “Why couldn’t I be like that?”, you ask—comparing yourself to that of a million others. It’s hard, I know, to think you’re the only one feeling this way—to feel so alone, you can’t see out of the darkness of solitude. But that’s not true. Here is what is true. You don’t like the same things as everyone else. You don’t act the same as everyone else. You don’t do the same things as everyone else. But you are not alone. You are loved. You are cared for. You matter. You are different, and that’s okay.
17.
What would the world be like if everyone was the same? If we all looked, thought, and felt the same? It’d be a black hole where dreams, hope, and happiness go to die, I imagine. You are different, but that’s not a bad thing. It makes you…you. Love yourself, cherish yourself, appreciate yourself. Enough thinking you aren’t worth anything. Enough feeling sorry for yourself. Enough, because that’s what you deserve. Dear younger self, you are enough, and it’s time someone told you.
18.
A LETTER TO MY YOUNGER SELF Fabi Peña Medina
“Keep your heart and mind open.”
Dear younger self, Here are five pieces of advice I have for you; 1. Listen to others and make it a point to remember their names and stories. Remembering a small detail doesn’t take much but it can make a person feel valued and important. Knowing their stories will also give you access to the different perspectives that will help you empathize and build stronger relationships. 2. Prioritize yourself. Being a good friend or significant other should never require you to give up pieces of yourself. Recognize your boundaries and expectations in your relationships and make them clear. 3. Smile. People love your smile and little interactions always brighten your day. Take the time to smile at strangers and ask them about their days. Find a little thing you like about them and tell them! We all love compliments and it makes people feel good and appreciated. 4. Remember to take deep breaths. Start and end your day with a deep breath—let it remind you to say thank you for another day. Take a good look when you’re out in nature and breathe it in—let it make you feel small, it’ll humble you and remind you of the beauty in little things.
19.
5. Life will throw a lot of curveballs at you but it will also send wonderful opportunities your way. Welcome both with the humility to understand that these are the things that will shape you into a better person, but only if you let them. Most importantly, no matter how much you grow and change, don’t forget the way you are right now. Your curiosity and bravery still inspire me as an adult and you will always be a part of me. I can’t wait for you to experience everything that’s coming your way, F
20.
RESILIENT CHILD OF MINE Resilience Williamson
Baby girl, you have black girl magic coursing through your very soul. The queens before you mapped out their dreams into the night sky to guide you through this life. Remember your strength. And don’t forget to dream because you are brilliant, beautiful, and resilient.
21.
A special thank you to our curators for this series: Debora Cordero-Martinez, Duke Co-Head of Content Liyu Woldemicheal, Duke Co-Head of Content