Latinas With Attitude Problems

Written by Alejandra Jimenez | Designed by Tamar Ponte | Photographed by Samantha Grobman

Do Latinas Have Attitude Problems or Is It Merely Repression?

“Y’all want Latinas but know that it comes with… an ‘attitude problem’,” says my TikTok for you page. Welcome to the overused punchline said by several Latina creators to warn their potential partners of their ‘ethnic downfall.’ Because well, we all know, Latina women are cursed with an uncontrollable temperament. Behind this repetitive joke, lies an abundance of false advertisement.

Let’s examine this deeper. First, do all Latina women have attitude problems or do some have strong personalities? Scanning a mental picture of my own family, I can admit most of the women are expressive, captivating, and dominant by nature. With pride, I divulge my participation in such a categorization. Does this at times include a fiery yell or lingered stare, well yes it does. But does this constitute an attitude problem? No!

Using a magnifying glass to observe this phenomenon, the first question to ask is why are these women “catching an attitude”? As I returned home for winter break this past month, I had the opportunity to test my theory. I watched my mother and her four sisters interact with me and my cousins, noting interactions with raised voices. So, what caused them to yell?

Here is a running list:

1. Leaving my room dirty

2. Not washing my dishes

3. Looking unpresentable with visiting family

4. or leaving the house appearing disheveled

5. My nails undone

6. Leaving without mention of my whereabouts

7. My location reading “not found”

Beyond the superficial joke, we need to understand why this is a cause for concern. Why does it matter to look unpresentable or to leave your space dirty?

What influencers (which are mostly first or second generation children) do not understand is that these “attitude problems’’ are byproducts of generational trauma. Most immigrant women—specifically Latina women, are suffocated by gender roles and expectations. Women cook, clean, and raise the children. A woman’s place is to serve her male counterpart. A woman’s place is second to speak. A woman’s place is subordinate without exception and without question. A woman’s place is to survive.

In this quest for perseverance exists a routine dance that every woman participates in. You can not break under pressure or swim up to gasp for air; instead, you must seem effortless, put together, and resilient. While at home, I realized my mother and aunts were, in reality, excruciatingly numb. Their trauma has transformed itself from hurt into redirection and distraction.

My mother left Colombia at the ripe age of 19, hoping to obtain safety, opportunity, and a college degree. My grandfather disagreed.

“Life goes on, you just gotta forget about it,” she says to me.

So if Latina women are actually numbed by gender roles, Eurocentric body standards, and religious trauma, why are they marketed as having “attitude problems”?

Because white men adore this narrative.

The fetishization of Latina women as sexually domaint, fiery, curvy, and exotic creatures is unescapable. These “attitude problems’’ then act as a sort of aphrodisiac for white men. These women are “wild.” They can not be tamed. How “exciting,” yet so untrue.

So, next time you decide to reuse this joke for the sake of TikTok content, ask yourself this: who is this video for? I promise you it is not for my mother or my aunts. It is for Steve, wishing he could get laid instead of googling PornHub yet again this evening.