The Bucks Student - Edition 14

bucks student edition 14

December 2010 www.bucksstudent.com

NEWS London Demo Coverage

Find out what happened when Bucks Student joined 50,000 other people in London to protest against the proposed rise in tuition fees

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LIFESTYLES What is Diwali?

Find out what happens during the celebrations of Diwali

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SOAPS & TV Christmas TV

Find out what will be happening in the soaps during the festive period

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SOCIETIES Society updates All the latest society news

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SPORTS SnowSoc

The latest news from SnowSoc at BUDS 2010 in Edinburgh Main picture: The peaceful protest organised for the arrivel of David Willetts who officially opened the Gateway building, Top Right: Local MP, Steven Baker - Conservative MP for Wycombe, Bottom Right: Part of the protest during the official opening of the Gateway building (don’t worry - Rusty’s not actually dead!).

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“I Will Vote For It” says our MP

By Laz Wood

Student Editor // student.editor@thebucksstudent.com

Hundreds of students and staff here at Bucks have sent emails to our local MP, Steve Baker, laying out the strong case against cutting funding to higher education. Many have since received a reply from his office, written and distributed by his researcher Tim Hewish. In this reply Mr Baker claims that young people get a “rough deal” and that one of the things the government needs to do to correct this is to place higher education on a sustainable financial footing.”

However, Mr Baker believes that the way to achieve that goal is to vote for the planned cut in government spending on higher education. He insists “new students entering university would be getting a better and fairer deal…these measures

seem to me to be a genuine improvement… it is my settled intention to support the Government.”

During a visit to officially open the new Gateway building, the Minister for Universities and Sciences, David Willetts, spoke to some students explaining “students still won’t have to pay anything up front… we are raising the re-payment threshold to £21,000…it won’t affect any of you.” He also spoke about how there would be no loss in quality of education or services provided as the government plan simply traded teaching grants for higher tuition fees.

While Mr Willetts seemed perfectly comfortable sat in a conference room with a group of students, being asked polite questions and declining to directly answer

them, he avoided a carefully orchestrated peaceful protest by a large group of students. Entering the Gateway building via the fire exit in Rusty Bucks, Mr Willetts refused to face the protesters who had staged a mock funeral for beloved mascot Rusty as a symbol of the death of higher education at BNU. Students at the protest, cold and angry at being ignored despite their respectful, silent and non-threatening attitude and demeanour, then began to chant well known slogans from recent demonstrations in an attempt to get the attention of Mr Willetts as he toured the Gateway.

The funeral and subsequent emails to Mr Baker were just the latest in a string of protests by students all over England.

Some of the protests have led to students invading and taking control of university buildings while others have resulted in mounted police being used to charge down protesters. Such violent actions, which are widely considered to be more damaging to our cause than useful, thankfully have not involved any students from here at BNU. However, this does not mean that the Students Union has given up! As this paper goes to print, Tom Foy, President and Christopher Clark, Vice President Education, are on their way to parliament to personally lobby Steve Baker to listen to the concerns of his constituents and to take in to account the damaging effect the higher education cuts would have on our university Above: David Willetts, the Minister for Universities and and dozens like it.

Science who officially opened the Gateway building

Printed on 100% recycled paper | Help reduce your carbon footprint by recycling your newspaper Bucks Students’ Union and Bucks New University are committed to doing their part in recycling and reducing their carbon footprint

2 Bucks Student

Contacts for The Bucks Student newspaper Tom Foy - Editor t: 01494 601600 e: tom.foy@bucks.ac.uk Laz Wood - Student and Community Editor e: student.editor@thebucksstudent.com Kelly McGarry - LifeStyle Editor e: lifestyle.editor@thebucksstudent.com Louby Delahunty - Entertainments Editor e: entertainments.editor@thebucksstudent.com Tanya Virdy - News Editor e: news.editor@thebucksstudent.com Harry Boileau - Features Editor e: features.editor@thebucksstudent.com Richie Stuttard - Sports Editor e: sports.editor@thebucksstudent.com Claire Cullen - Fashion Editor e: fashion.editor@thebucksstudent.com Tanya Virdy - Celebrity Fashion Editor e: celebrityfashion.editor@thebucksstudent.com MJ Mahmood - Soaps & TV Editor e: soaps.editor@thebucksstudent.com Dorian Stone - Reviews Editor e: reviews.editor@thebucksstudent.com Talie Campbell - Arts & Literature Editor e: arts.editor@thebucksstudent.com Monika Stary - Jobs & Careers Editor e: careers.editor@thebucksstudent.com Joanna Szczpanowska - International & Travel Editor e: international.editor@thebucksstudent.com Sarah O’Brien - Societies Editor e: societies.editor@thebucksstudent.com For Advertising: Vicki Buffoni t: 0845 1300 667 e: vb@bamuk.com Union general enquiries: t: 01494 601600 e: union@bucks.ac.uk

features News P3 Travel P10 Lifestyles P10 Soaps & TV P12 Entertainments Pull Out P13 Wallplanner P16 Societies P21 Movie Reviews P22 Christmas History P24 Christmas Gifts P25 Puzzles P26 Fashion P27

Articles in this newspaper do not necessarily represent the views of Bucks Students’ Union but are that of the specific author.

If required, this document can be made available in different formats. Please contact the Students Union for more information.

Recipes P28 Sports P29

Message from Vice Chancellor

Letter from the Student Editor Laz Wood

Dear Student,

You may have seen media coverage of a report published by the University and College Union (UCU). The report, ‘Universities at risk – the impact of cuts in higher education spending on local economies’, places 49 of England’s higher education institutions at ‘very high’, ‘high’, or ‘high-medium’ risk of serious impact from the Government’s funding proposals.

Buckinghamshire New University is placed by UCU in the category ‘at high level of potential impact from the Browne proposals’. UCU have used criteria such as the percentage of the teaching grant that will be removed under the new proposals, the numbers of students from poorer backgrounds, and the number of international students at an institution.

They have not taken into account the current financial health of individual institutions or the steps that are being taken to mitigate the impact of the cuts.

I would like to assure everyone that although we will feel the impact of the Government’s proposals, we have been planning for a difficult period. We are in a strong position – the number of applications to Bucks continues to grow year on year, we are well-regarded for our teaching quality, and are fortunate to have completed projects such as the Gateway.

We have recently published a new Strategic Plan which will see us through the next five years, and help to secure our long-term sustainability.

First of all, in the midst of the HE Cuts crisis that surrounds us at the moment, let me just a say I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas. Yes, it does seem at the moment like there’s bad news and then there’s worse news but we must not let that ruin our Christmas cheer. It doesn’t matter if you aren’t Christian, a modern Christmas for most people has really very little to do with the birth of Jesus, it’s not even his real birthday anyway as Joanna will tell you in her ‘Christmas Forgery’ story.

As sad and cheesy as the notion may be, I genuinely still believe that Christmas is a time to be jolly and show some goodwill to everyone.

Tis the season to eat heartily until you cannot manage even one more little bacon wrapped sausage and to drink with friends and family until you’re well and truly merry.

I sincerely hope that this edition of the paper will give you some good laughs amidst the doom and gloom of the campaign against the rise in tuition fees and the HE cuts.

We have our beloved Busty’s usual agony aunt column, a

Prof Ruth Farwell Vice Chancellor

e: student.editor@thebucksstudent.com fair offering from ‘students say the funniest things’ and of course an array of new cocktails for you to try.

Also be sure to check out the classic Christmas movie reviews. I for one am really looking forward to watching ‘A Muppet Christmas Carol’ again. Of course there’s all our regular much loved stuff too like confessions of a fresher but it’s a big edition so keep a sharp eye out.

Finally I’d just like to say how much of a pleasure it has been working on this paper with the newsgroup team so far this year. With a recent wave of assignments and un-expected work we have struggled these last couple of weeks but we’ll be back after Christmas, well rested and ready to take the newspaper and our society to a whole new level so start looking out for newsgroup events. If you are interested in joining the team, or you just have some comments or questions, then don’t hesitate to get in touch at student.editor@ thebucksstudent.com. Merry Christmas Everyone!

Recycle your copy of the Bucks Student once you have finished.

STUDENT VOICE PROJECT

How did this scheme come about?

Through various routes (NSS, student and staff comments, feedback from the SU) I hear that there are too many instances where things are allegedly going wrong around the delivery of some of our teaching activities. I’m told that sometimes the person teaching the session arrives late or may cancel the class with no good reason. Also I hear that subgroups of students arrive late for classes too or don’t turn up at all. All of this is disruptive to those students who want to take part fully in the scheduled teaching activities so that their studies benefit as much as possible. Equally it can be frustrating to staff delivering the session if only a small percentage of the class show up. I think there should be zero tolerance at Bucks of these kinds of things. I suppose I want to understand the extent to which all of this is happening and to take the necessary action to reduce it. The service will provide the data we lack at the moment to provide evidence of the scale of the problem, if any.

How do you expect students to use the text number and email address? Are there any guidelines to how they should present their texts/emails?

The idea of the texting service is so that we can accumulate data on occurrences where teaching is disrupted and take action as necessary to minimise the issue

recurring. It is not a service to resolve the issue on the spot.

The texting service is not about the curriculum or whether a course is appropriately resourced. There are other ways of bringing this to our attention. It is for disruptions or upheavals to the smooth running of a particular scheduled teaching session of any type, including pre-arranged one-to-one meetings.

The sessions could be off-site so I would like to include meetings in placements, for example, as well as on the High Wycombe and Uxbridge campuses.

You will text or email information to student.voice@ bucks.ac.uk. We will let you have guidelines about what information we expect you to send in the message. This will include your course, the time and location of the teaching session which has been disrupted, what happened (or didn’t happen that should have) and your name.

The types of issues which I would expect the texting service to be used for are: • Specialist room intended for that session is not available i.e. it is closed or in use by others • Whether the timetabled room is big enough for the group, or whether there is overcrowding • Whether the room is comfortable, or too hot or too cold • Late arrival of the person due to be leading the session (by more than 10 minutes) without

reasonable reason and apology • Late arrival by a considerable number of students (roughly at least 20%) so as to disrupt the session • Session is finished early by the person leading the session • Session is cancelled or rescheduled by the person due to be leading the session other than for illness or other reasonable reason • Person due to be leading the session does not turn up and there is no advance warning or information provided with a reasonable reason for this • Non-attendance by a considerable number of students (roughly at least 20%) so as to disrupt the session What happens to the students’ texts and emails?

The messages will be received by and collated in the Business Planning Directorate on a weekly basis, then forwarded to me and the relevant Deans (copied to the Faculty Pro Vice Chancellors). It is my expectation that these people will arrange for follow up action.

We will also report to the joint monthly meeting that my senior team has with the SU. How will the students know their concerns are being addressed?

The SU will be able to judge what is being done on your behalf through the monthly meetings with the senior team. Also for each edition of the Bucks Student I will do a brief column reporting back what issues have been raised in the messages and what we have done.

text your issues to

07625 805 945

Students text* or email the Vice Chancellor to provide visibility of something which is impacting negatively on their scheduled teaching activities.

The cost of sending the text is your standard text message rate.

Text: 07625 805 945 Email: student.voice@bucks.ac.uk

NATIONAL STUDENT SURVEY HELPER £6.00 per hour To assist final year students in participating in the National Student Survey for Bucks New Uni. As part of a team, provide information about the National Student Survey, encourage students to complete the Survey and offer support if necessary. This will involve talking to groups of students by attending gatherings such as Lectures, Seminars and events, and to promote and offer background information on the National Student Survey.

To apply for this position and for more information check out bucksstudent.com/jobshop or email katie.smith@bucks.ac.uk.

3 Bucks Student

‘Bucks New University students join with 50,000 Don’t Blame Students to protest against cuts to Higher Education’ VOX POP 1

On Wednesday 10th November 2010, the University Lecturers Union (UCU) and the National Union of Students (NUS) jointly marched on parliament to protest the upcoming cuts to higher education funding.

The ‘Demo March’ was organised for a national demonstration protesting for ‘FUND OUR FUTURE: STOP EDUCATION CUTS’. It was a chance for current students and potential future students to stand up as a student movement; defend student rights; secure accessible further and higher education for generations to come.

Almost 500 students from Bucks New University joined many others from around the UK to demonstrate against the looming savage proposed cuts of 40% to Higher Education funding. Students from Bucks New University joined 50,000 other students, lecturers and members of the public to take part in the biggest demonstration in a generation. At stake is the future of

our higher education system for generations to come. The students were demonstrating, and were campaigning, to protect the rights of future students to a high quality affordable education system that is accessible to all, not just the wealthy.

The cuts to higher education, announced in the Comprehensive Spending Review are colossal: 40% overall, including an 80% cut to the teaching grant.

Universities are the drivers of economic growth and innovation, and these cuts come at a time when the rest of the world is investing in higher education.

The march, organised jointly by NUS and UCU covered a route preapproved by police from Horse Guards Avenue to a rally outside the Tate Britain where protestors heard from UCU General Secretary Sally Hunt, NUS president Aaron Porter and TUC deputy general secretary Frances O’Grady.

There had been some widely reported

violent outbreaks at the Conservative Party Central Offices at Millbank. Bucks New University organised transport for over 600 students who wanted to demonstrate peacefully along with the vast majority of others. It is such a disappointment that a small minority of the 50,000 on the march took action which detracts from the key issues in the debate. The key issues being that the governments announced cuts, coupled with the proposed increases in tuition fees means the effective privatization of Universities, will put barriers in the way of many future students accessing a high quality higher education.

The reports of violent protest, particularly around the Millbank Tower, part of its building housing the Conservative Party HQ was covered on nearly every TV channel, radio broadcast as breaking news.

Protestors were seen on the roof of the buildings, and what appeared to be flares or fires starting on the ground. Windows were being smashed and crowds of people from the ground were chanting for the group to stop this part

of the protest, whilst others cheered in support.

Nonetheless it is necessary to stress that no Bucks New University students are known to have been involved in this particular aspect of the protest, and the vast majority of the day’s events continued peacefully.

After the march down the whole of Millbank, we ended just outside the Tate Gallery where protestors were addressed by three speakers – Sally Hunt from the Universities and Colleges Union; Frances O’Grady of the TUC and of course Aaron Porter, the NUS president. All commented on the sheer number of people present, the impact this could have, and emphasized the point that the protest doesn’t stop at a march through London.

They rallied protestors instead to continue putting pressure on MPs, and there was an announcement of a further event to be held in March 2011.

I managed to interview a lot of people from other universities and they had given me quite an insight into reasons why people were at the ‘Demo March.’

By Tanya Virdy

Name: India What institution do you represent today: Manchester Why are you here today: I’m here because I won’t be able to go to university because I don’t want to come out with £30,000 debt at the end of it. I don’t even know what the student loan system is going to be like by then and its ridiculous. Suddenly they have thrown it upon us that there is gong to be an enormous increase of tuition fees.

What are you hoping to see as a result of today’s ‘Demo March?’ I’m hoping that the university fees won’t change, they should stay how they are.

Are you going to be here throughout the whole protest: Yes, I’m going to be here till the end.

VOX POP 2

Name: Kardean What institution do you represent today: Saint Mary’s University/ College, Twickenham.

Why are you here today: Because I can’t afford £9,000 for university tuition fees per year, it’s ridiculous.

What are you hoping to see as a result of today’s ‘Demo March?’ Students united first of all.

VOX POP 3

Name: Peter Illman What institution do you represent today? We’re from Writtle College, in Essex.

Why are you here today? I’m here today alongside many friends and students colleagues to fight against. As you can see a really passionate group of people are present here today in the protest against what is extremely unfair in the rise in the tuition fees. It will discourage many talented young people from across the country going into higher education.

Is it correct to say then your hoping to see some sort of change to the decision that has been made? Yes, I’m hoping to that the government will take note of our passionate display of our protest and hopefully something good will come out of this.

Wednesday 10th November 2010 will go down in history as the day that students protested against the university cuts.

Violence and riots ensued throughout the day, but is that what truly happened? Has the protest been a failure? Guy Humphrey interviews Christopher Clark, the Vice President for Education at Buckinghamshire New University to find out more.

“I am immensely proud of all the students from Bucks that took part”. One of the first remarks that Christopher Clark, 24, tells me. As well as being the Vice President of Education of BNU, he also helped to organise the demo in order for all students at Bucks to take place. All four hundred of them! “We only had a week to sort it out, and our original target was 60, and we well and truly smashed it.” He tells me with a massive grin on his face.

“Smashed it” seems quite apt, as images and reports soon came, highlighting the violence and riots that happened throughout the day. This put a downer on the day but the various crimes were committed by a minority that, “ruined the day”, according to

Chris.

A lot of the crimes were committed by organised anarchists.

One particular incident: a group of people managed to get on the roof of Millbank Tower, where a lot of the trouble took place, and missiles such as smoke bombs and fire extinguishers were thrown from the roof which could have caused high injury if not death. None of the people on the roof were students, they were just there to cause trouble, and this shows unfair negativity on the student’s part.

This of course raises the question of how they got to the roof of the building. According to Chris, “they raised the fire alarm and then managed to get in through the fire exit round the back and take the lift straight up”.

This just shows how unprepared the police and security were.

Aaron Porter, the president of the National Union for Students, publically condemned the occurrence and said that it was not the intent of the demo.

Due to the sheer amount of students that were part of the historical event, according to the NUS 50,000 students attended, it led to a backlog in the

demo and the rally, which many Bucks students didn’t attend or see.

Due to this, Chris didn’t see the two riots that took place.

“There was one in the morning, then the police managed to get it under control. Then, because of the mass amount of people, another riot broke out. Again, neither of these involved students. There was fire, which you couldn’t see until you saw the smoke.

The anarchists have no sense of value and undermined the day.”

Apart from that, the day seemed to go without a hitch. The day was filled with speakers from members of the NUS and the University College Union who said that this was just the start of the campaign. This was followed by dancing, live music and chanting, and the demo went from Horse Guards Avenue to Westminster Palace, which is where the opening rally was.

After the demo, there were a variety of after parties at various pubs and bars. A lot of the London colleges and universities opened in order to let people in. The main after party was at the London School of Economics, which Chris said was, “nice and

pleasant”.

The party included demo videos that people had produced, live music, and presentations including one from Central St. Martins campus, part of the London College of Fashion. The presentation was entitled “Can’t cut this”, which was a parody of MC Hammer ‘Can’t Touch This’, which added a comical and uplifting touch to the day.

The day ended, with the coaches departing, 10 coaches full! Organising the coaches seemed to be quite a dilemma for Chris due to the sheer amount of people departing from Central London. It resorted in Chris getting a train back and him eventually getting home at around 10pm.

“I’m very proud of all the students that took part. The unity and comradeship that they showed was amazing and they are a credit to the university. They made sure their voices were heard, and hopefully we and other students from other universities around the country have started to make a difference. Be proud of yourself Bucks!”.

By Guy Humphrey

Above: A fire at student protests in London on the 24th November

By Chris Allen Like most days, I woke up this morning and turned on the news whilst I was getting up. I can’t say that I’m all that interested in the Irish financial crisis first thing in the morning, but it is pretty handy having the clock in the corner so that I can see just how late I actually am… Anyway, enough about me.

The first thing I saw when I turned on the news this morning (Thursday 25th November) was predictably, a picture of a yob standing on top of a police van, with the headline “Student protest turns violent”, and the usual montage of hooded thugs with scarves over their heads and throwing an assortment of objects at the police, starting fires and generally making a nuisance of themselves.

Of course, you probably weren’t shown the image of schoolgirls protecting a police van, stranded in the middle of the protest and being attacked by protesters. One of the girls, Zoe Williams, has been quoted as saying: ‘I was just trying to get across to them that the cause that we’re here for today isn’t about “I hate the police, I want to burn the police and I want to destroy everything they represent”.’

Above: Students protecting a Police Van The fact that the media tend to focus on the violent actions of a minority annoys me no end, mainly, because it makes students look bad.

A phrase I seem to have used far too often in the last couple of weeks is “a small minority were responsible” – but it’s true.

Yes, there was violence towards the police at Wednesdays protest, and yes, there were a number of mindless idiots climbing all over a police van, bus shelters, buildings and anything else that looked breakable. On the other hand though, it must be remembered that there were THOUSANDS of people at yesterday’s protest who WEREN’T violent, who were there to have fun, whilst supporting a cause that they feel passionately about.

Exactly the same can be said about the DEMO 2010 protest in London on the 10th November – there were a minority of people who wanted to cause trouble at Millbank tower, but their number was far dwarfed by the tens of thousands of students who attended for a peaceful protest, to make a serious political point – which is that they won’t settle for cuts to higher education.

Of course, the press do briefly mention buzz-phrases such as “the majority of the protest was peaceful” or “minority groups stirred up violence” – but they don’t report the story as though that’s the case, and with good reason. Imagine if a newspaper went to press with the headline “Protests pass without significant problem, everyone happy” – it wouldn’t sell! However, that’s not to say that peaceful protests are pointless – much the opposite! Peaceful protests show people that we can get messages across whilst being mature and civilised – and in the long run, are probably more likely to persuade politicians to engage with us, rather than condemn us.

It’s worth remembering that students have good reason to be angry, they’ve been let down. The Liberal Democrats promised students that they’d “campaign against any raising of the cap on tuition fees” – this being from the same Lib Dems that told us “it’s time for promises to be kept”. However following the release of the Browne Report into higher education, it was announced that teaching budgets would be slashed, and that fees would rocket, to a maximum of £9000. However, students don’t need to get violent, they need to get constructive.

One thing is sure, students aren’t going to take this lying down, and I think we can expect many more protests to come before this story plays its way out.

I’ll end this with a simple plea, don’t blame students – blame the idiot minority who want to hijack student emotions and use it to spread fear and violence.

4 Bucks Student

Bucks tests ‘The Buzz’

Bucks New University raises more than £500 for Children in Need

Buckinghamshire New University went all spotty for Children in Need and raised more than £500 for good causes for the annual fundraiser.

Staff wore spotty clothing for the day and staff and students took part in a host of fundraising activities, including a rowing-machine challenge, football tournament, tombola and guessing the numbers of sweets in jars.

Diane Jamieson-Pond, Internal Communications Manager, said: “Everyone got into the spirit of the day edition11 Advert (135mmby170mm) 3-10-10.pdf and it was a real team effort.

“We had events going on around the University and our people really enjoyed raising money to help a very worthy cause.

“Our Pro Vice Chancellors, Prof Derek Godfrey and Prof Trevor Nicholls, also donned spotty pinnies to sell cakes in Beats café. We would like to say thank you to everyone who took part. It was a day to remember.”

Other activities included giant Connect 4, ten-pin bowling on a Nintendo Wii and guessing the total distance travelled on exercise machines in the Gateway 1 03/10/2010 21:50 gym throughout the day.

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other supplement.

Results showed that endurance performance, the time to exhaustion, increased by an average of 25 seconds and that the athletes’ perception of effort was lower following consumption of The Buzz. These results indicate that the bar is effective in giving athletes and exercisers an ‘edge’, while providing good nutrition without additives.

Kate Wallace, owner of Natural Fitness Ltd. commented: “The project was undertaken to raise the credentials of the Buzz bar under strict testing guidelines with elite athletes and for the benefit of athletes and consumers alike.

The Buzz bar is made using only natural ingredients which are not only healthy but also effective for improving performance. Currently, there are too many unnatural products on the market that, if consumed, may harm the athlete or lead to a positive drugs test.”

The Buzz bar is low in saturated fat, and the calories the bar contains are just enough to sustain energy levels and delay fatigue.

The Buzz bar can be used by children, vegetarian athletes and

even diabetic athletes. Unlike many other commercial products, The Buzz does not provide a quick energy fix, but allows for slow energy release.

The next phase of the project will involve a comparison of the Buzz bar with another similar commercial product and another group of athletes will be tested in the Human Performance Laboratory. Dr Konstantaki is currently working on an article for publication in a peer-reviewed journal to disseminate the findings of this research to the scientific community.

The Buzz bar is available in outlets including Boots, David Lloyd Health Clubs, and Waitrose, and is sold at Adams Park, home of Wycombe Wanderers Football Club and London Wasps Rugby Club, in schools, sports centres, and at Bucks New University’s cafes. London Wasps have been using the Buzz Bars for the past 18 months.

For further information on the The Buzz or the use of Bucks’s Human Performance Laboratory, email info@getbuzzing.co.uk or gary.peters@bucks.ac.uk.

Above: (L-R) Kate Wallace, owner of Natural Fitness Ltd, Dr Maria Konstantaki, Senior Lecturer in Exercise Physiology from Bucks New University’s Department of Sport Management, Gary Peters, Sports Science Officer at Bucks New University’s Human Performance Laboratory.

National Union of Students NEWS

Above: Laz Wood, Student Editor has a go at the rowing challenge

Buckinghamshire New University is working with Beaconsfield-based company, Natural Fitness Ltd., to investigate the effectiveness of a sports performance supplement, known as ‘The Buzz’.

The Buzz bar is a performance supplement, containing natural ingredients, and with no additives, colourings, or preservatives. It is designed to provide energy during athletic activities, or to re-fuel the body after training.

The research project is led by Dr Maria Konstantaki, Senior Lecturer in Exercise Physiology from the University’s Department of Sport Management, who is assisted

by Gary Peters, Sports Science Officer at Bucks New University’s Human Performance Laboratory.

The project is funded by personal training company and producers of The Buzz, Natural Fitness Ltd. The first phase of the project involved testing the endurance performance of a range of athletes (five international rugby players, three professional triathletes and two recreational athletes) one hour after they had consumed a Buzz bar, and without consuming any

Give your opinion and earn money

NUS responds to Willetts statement on tuition fees

Join the NUS Online Research Panel and provide crucial feedback to help companies develop their products and services to all students, while earning cash rewards. All you need to be is aged 18 or over and a student.

Interested? To register, fill out the form and press the register button. Visit nus.org.uk for more information.

In response to Universities and Science Minister David Willetts announcement that the Government will rush through moves to raise tuition fees to £9,000 NUS said that it was an unprecedented ideological move.

It will push all of the costs of higher education onto the shoulders students who already face much of the financial consequence of the economic downturn.

For the proposals to go through Parliament, Liberal Democrat MPs would have to break the pledge they made to students to vote against higher fees, the union said.

Aaron Porter, NUS President, said: “These proposals would remove public funding for universities and force students to shoulder the bill for devastating cuts to teaching.”

“The Government have provided no reassurance that requirements on access, employability, quality or the student experience would be any more effective than they are now.”

“The only things that students and their families could expect in return for higher fees are higher debts.”

“Many Liberal Democrats would have felt incredibly uncomfortable as they heard David Willetts’ statement today knowing that they are being asked to railroad these proposals through Parliament and to betray the students and their families who voted for them.”

NUS launches “Right to Recall” campaign NUS has launched the “Right to Recall” initiative, encouraging students to sign up to pledge to vote against any candidate that breaks their pledges on university fees or EMAs. At the general election, Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg made a great deal of politicians needing to ‘be more honest’, and ‘for promises to be kept’. The Liberal Democrats also suggested that a new ‘right to recall’ procedure should be introduced whereby MPs who break promises or are found guilty of impropriety should be vulnerable to a constituency petition of (10%) that MP would face an immediate by-election. Visit Right to Recall at righttorecall.co.uk

5 Bucks Student

Bucks raises bundles of cash for Movember The Students’ Union at Buckinghamshire New University has raised more than £1,400 for charity by growing moustaches for Movember – but admit they will not be sorry to see the back of them.

The Bucks Tash Team comprised 37 people, including Students’ Union president Tom Foy, deputy general manager Tristan Tipping and events manager Noel Cornford, who all cultivated their own distinctive moustaches.

Awards were handed out to people growing the best taches at a special ‘end of Movember’ party in the Students’ Union venue and donations are still being collected.

Tristan said: “The fundraising is still taking place but we have received fantastic support so far, even if the tache has become a bit itchy now. The campaign as a whole is global now and much more high profile so it’s been excellent to support a good cause.”

Tom said he was ‘really pleased’ with the amount raised but looking forward to shaving the moustache off.

He said: “It’s been a good laugh but it’s put about 15 years on me. It’s been a great thing to do - even if it hasn’t convinced me I look good with a moustache.”

To sponsor the Bucks team go to movember.com and go to Bucks Tash Team.

Above: Tom Foy, President of Bucks Students’ Union along with Tristan Tipping, Deputy General Manager who both supported Movember

Jailbreak - who got the furthest?

Fill a shoebox full of winter warmers for the Wycombe Night Shelter and help those less fortunate this Christmas.

Jailbreak was a great success this year with 4 teams competing to get as far away from the university without spending any of their own money all in aid of RAG. In first place was Team Sveeeden who managed to persuade family to get them tickets to Sweden, then blagged their way on a bus to their final destination of Stockholm.

In second place was An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman who made it all the way to Oslo after blagging a bus to Gatwick and then asking the public for donations. They managed to scrape enough for the flights to Oslo which was their final destination.

In third place were the Jailbirds who blagged a

taxi to Heathrow and after having no luck begging for flights they caught a coach to London Victoria and then a coach to Calais, France.

48 Hours Later? caught a bus to Gatwick but had no luck with flights. They blagged a coach to London St Pancras which was their final destination.

A great effort by the teams all of whom are safely back at Bucks. We’d all like to say a big thank you to each of them for raising money for our two RAG charities, Learn as One and The Pepper Hospice.

Money is still coming in and we’re aiming for an amazing £400.

If you’re interested in doing any volunteering please visit bucksstudent.com/volunteering or email Alice and Kerry at volunteering@bucks.ac.uk.

Christmas day dip for Women’s Aid

Above: Samantha Crawford.

Samantha Crawford is taking part in the Hunstanton Christmas Day Swim, in Norfolk, hoping to raise up to £1,000 for charity Women’s Aid. The event, in The Wash, by the North Sea, involves a 100-yard dash into the sea, round a banner, and back to shore.

Samantha is a support worker in the disability office at Bucks and is in the second year of a Foundation Degree in Health and Social Care.

To sponsor her go to www.justgiving.com/Samantha-Crawford0.

Pick up your shoebox from the SU reception and decorate with Christmas paper.

Deadline for hampers is 17th December Suggestions to fill your hamper: - Socks/Gloves/Hats/Scarves - Torch - Toiletries (preferably male) - Books - Stationary Please no food or drink

For more information volunteering@bucks.ac.uk

6 Bucks Student

Are you registered with the Disability Service?

Come along and chat to the Students Union Disabilities Officer - Phil Edwards about the challenges you face in your day to day life.

The SU and the Equality and Diversity Service are working in partnership to promote disability equality within the University.

But we need you to share your experiences with us – please do help.

If you can’t make the focus group but would like to have yours view heard you can contact either Phil Edwards, disabilities. officer@bucks.ac.uk or Pam Owen, Equality and Diversity Manager equalities@bucks.ac.uk.

Mr Simms Olde Sweet Shoppe

By Joss Hill-Finegan Before the Eden shopping centre came along, High Wycombe was a swirling vortex of crime and hatred. It was firmly settled in its old fashioned ways.

Citizens threw their waste into the streets and the idea of women voting was tutted at by men in top hats. Okay, so unfortunately not much has changed, but at least now they can beat their wives in the fluorescent lights of Build a Bear.

Anyway, although they forgot to finish the roof and butchered the car park, Eden has brought us shops and entertainment aplenty.

The latest addition is a little place called Mr Simms Olde Sweet Shoppe. It’s located opposite Game, near the entrance. As the name implies, it’s a sweet shop. A freaking sweet sweet shop, that is.

It looks just like the name: traditional, authentic, and downright charming. If you see it and don’t feel an overwhelming urge to go inside, you’re either a diabetic or some kind of weirdo that enjoys vegetables. And, well, I believe they offer diabetic chocolate, so you’re in luck there too. It’s a bit pricey, but nothing heart attack worthy. Go in, have a look and buy some amazing chocolate and sweets. You’ll be packing fudge faster than you can say ‘Mr Simms Olde Sweet Shoppe’.

Education partners unveil the UK’s first National School of Furniture Right: (L-R) Edward Tadros, Chairman and Managing Director of Ercol Furniture, pictured with Bucks New University student, Tortie Hoare, winner of the BDC New Designer of the Year Award (Part 2) at New Designers this year, alongside Tortie’s work.

Thursday, November 11 saw the eagerly awaited launch of The National School of Furniture, a unique partnership which sees the higher and further education sectors unite with businesses and associations to create a holistic educational experience, offering huge benefits to learners and the entire furniture industry.

The partnership is between Bucks New University in High Wycombe, and Oxford and Cherwell Valley College, working together to provide education across all levels; from Level 1 (Certificate) through to Level 8 (PhD), creating an educational ‘journey’ with flexible entry and exit points.

The National School of Furniture aims to raise the profile of the furniture industry and inspire people to explore the diverse breadth of career options available. It is the first time that the full range of learning levels have been offered together in this way, through an integrated centre for excellence. The School also has strong links with the furniture industry and the qualifications on offer will enable students to progress into successful careers.

The official launch of the new School took

place at the prestigious City headquarters of The Worshipful Company of Furniture Makers, The Furniture Makers’ Hall, Austin Friars, London. In the region of 100 guests and influential figures from across the furniture industry attended the prestigious launch event, representing all areas of the industry, including education, furniture-making, design, manufacture, conservation and retail.

Guest speaker at the launch, Edward Tadros, Executive Chairman of Ercol Furniture, commented: “I was in Tokyo last week at a UK Trade and Investment mission and was thrilled to see a room full of British designers, with Japanese companies literally queuing up to discuss projects with them. There is a strong global demand for our furniture design and The National School of Furniture will play a pivotal role in ensuring young designers and makers are best equipped for that challenge.”

Dr Lynn Jones, Furniture Department Manager and head of The National School of Furniture at Bucks New University, said: “This will be a hugely exciting and innovative venture for the region, bringing all our furniture interests together and providing an

all-important network for the UK. “Between the two educational centres we believe we can really help people to get to where they want to be, whether they are students starting to study an aspect of the subject for the very first time, or established industry personnel in need of trainees, managers, skills or just advice. It’s all about connecting teaching to the industry.”

Chris Hyde, Furniture Manager and Head of the National School of Furniture at Oxford and Cherwell Valley College, added: “We are delighted to have established such a strong, sustainable partnership that will really benefit students and the UK’s furniture businesses.

This is a key time for the furniture industry, and it is vital that the education sector and employers invest in skills for growth. The School will be creating the next generation of highly skilled talent, helping to ensure economic growth for the furniture industry and the nation as a whole.”

Through the School, students can choose to study from a diverse range of courses, including short skills-based training, bespoke industry courses, apprenticeships, leisure courses and diplomas, as well as more

traditional undergraduate, foundation and master’s degree courses.

The National School of Furniture will create a skills base for furniture-making, design, manufacture, conservation and furniture retail, and an integrated offer for furniture programmes in Buckinghamshire and Oxfordshire. In the longer term, it will also provide a portal via its website for anyone interested in the UK furniture industry to get connected to its network of partners, alumni, industry supporters, sponsors and key industry personnel.

Through its industry links, the School will offer sponsorship and business opportunities for new graduates, and The Worshipful Company of Furniture Makers will act in an advisory capacity to the School, its students and staff. The School will also provide a resource for the furniture industry including the development of an archive for historical reference, as well as a research base and test bed for existing and new furniture projects.

If you are interested in becoming involved in The National School of Furniture contact chyde@ocvc.ac.uk or lynn.jones@bucks.ac.uk.

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7 Bucks Student

Shoppers flock to Matalan opening

The charity Iain Rennie Hospice at Home popped into Bucks New University to promote their fundraising Santa Dash events at Lowndes Park in Chesham and the Rye Park in Wycombe, taking place in the run-up to Christmas, and spent a day drumming up support in Beats cafe. They wore festive costumes and brought along their mascot, Rennie Bear.

Radicals: Making Racism Acceptable

Clothing and home ware retail giant Matalan has opened in High Wycombe. Opened to the public on the 18th November, the store is located on Belfield Road between Sainsbury’s and Morrison’s.

The store took over the premises previously being used

by Focus, the Payless DIY store after the landlord decided to offer the lease on the building to Matalan.

On the opening day, hundreds of eager shoppers flocked to the opening of Matalan’s new concept store in High Wycombe. About 200 people queued for up to an hour outside the Bellfield Road store before celebrity interior designer Linda Barker, chef James Tanner and High Wycombe Town Mayor Jane White cut the red ribbon at 10am to cheers and applause.

A brass band ushered shoppers into the 30,000 sq ft store and were greeted at the door by the celebrity guests, who handed out goody bags and cuddly toys to toddlers. The flagship shop

By Tanya Virdy is the first ‘concept store’ of its kind to have been opened by the retail giant, with the new look expected to be rolled out across the country.

60 Minute Makeover presenter Mrs. Barker said: “It’s amazing. It’s a big, bold move by Matalan – it’s set up like a catwalk and you can see everything, it’s wonderful.

“When I drove in I could see the big queue, people do get excited when Matalan comes to town because of the products and value it offers.”

Saturday Kitchen and Lorraine chef Mr. Tanner made the long drive from Plymouth to be at the opening of the store, which has created 100 new jobs.

He said: “It’s fantastic to see the new store, I’ve done a few openings but this was the big one for the company, it looks brilliant and the reaction from the people is great.”

First customer through the tills was High Wycombe

resident David Clark, who queued for about 40minutes and snapped up a pair of wellies. I managed to ask him what his thoughts were of the store. He said: “It’s very nice, very bright and everything is nicely laid out and I think it will be a good addition to the town.”

Mayor Jane White was very supportive to the opening of the store, “I’m delighted to welcome Matalan to High Wycombe. I wish it every success in the future and I’m sure it will be a great addition to the town’s shopping experience”.

“High Wycombe is really going upmarket now. It’s great to be able to add Matalan to our fantastic lineup alongside Primark, Cash Converters, Iceland and the Poundland.

If you don’t like Primark or Poundland etc you can always go to House of Fraser, or John Lewis or Marks and Spencer.

There are a lot of low priced or high priced goods to buy there, depending on your tastes or lifestyles or budgets.”

universitynews

ID card reminder The University does not issue temporary ID cards. Students need to ensure they carry their ID card at all times. If they have mislaid, lost or left their card a home and require access to controlled areas or the LRC then they will have to purchase a replacement card costing £5. If subsequently previously issued cards are found then they should not be used and handed back at the Student Centre or cut in half and disposed of securely.

Policing matters

Remembrance day 2010 can now forever be remembered - not for the soldiers we’re supposed to remember, not for the Muslim protestors, but for having the amazing effect of turning the population into racists.

Yes, that’s right, there’s nothing quite like a moment of respect for the troops to bring about some good old fashioned racism. Of course its not their fault. Nor is it the fault of the idiots that decided to chant ‘British soldiers, burn in hell!’

Who’s really to blame here, are members of Facebook.

That old brilliant feature of posting on the internet without consequence strikes again.

People’s true feelings seem to have a habit of rearing their ugly heads, when some fundamentalists are ruining it for everyone else. The mention of deportation seemed quite frequent when discussing the protestors. There are some far

By Joss Hill-Finegan better things to criticise than their possible immigration status. Let’s remember folks, that these people are not to be taken seriously, nor are they there to represent their whole community. How would you like it if you were judged by the actions of a certain group of vandalising thugs, that decided to ruin your protest with moronic violence? Oh right, yeah. Well, I guess all students are violent hooligans then.

The most confusing part of it all, was that these ninja racists, appearing out of the internet floorboards when the opportunity arrived, all seemed completely apathetic towards Remembrance day. In that sense, I suppose it has a lot in common with football.

Well, cheers for bringing the community together and all.

That’s the Christmas spirit I like to see.

Officers from Thames Valley Police’s Specialist Search and Recovery team delivered a guest lecture to students in the Department of Criminal Justice & Social Studies about their role in the global response to the Tsunami in 2004. Jon Taylor, a detective in the Metropolitan Police who works in the Child Abuse Investigation Command and deals specifically with Internet crime, also gave a guest lecture last week. Stuart Norton, Department Manager, said: “Many thanks to both Maurice Collins and Jim Dunn for organising these lectures, which gave students first-hand access to experienced professionals helping underpin their learning.”

Great Sines An article on Prof David Sines receiving his CBE from the Queen at Windsor Castle is featured in this week’s edition of Nursing Times.

Saudi agreement Bucks has signed an agreement with The College of Business Administration in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia, to provide an education and training service to create a new College of Advertising, which will become the educational centre for this discipline in the region.

www.winfreefees.co.uk

8 Bucks Student

Would the real Elton John please stand up?

On Thursday 18th November 2010, crowds gathered on the streets of High Wycombe town centre to see the Christmas lights being switched on. Excitement grew as many of us arrived to the music of Elton John and were pointed to the stage where he was performing live!

At every interval it was announced that one of the guest celebrities was Sir Elton John, they even asked him if he would be performing at the Royal Wedding next year, he joked “I believe I’m shortlisted, just after Wagner.”

Locals and students alike gathered round the stage, but some refused to believe that the real Elton John would appear on the streets of High Wycombe. A few other celebrities appeared, including ex-Hollyoaks actress, Dominique Jackson and violinist, Analiza Ching. Together they stood on stage to light the town’s Christmas lights.

The question still echoed in our minds, is this the real Elton John?

After the main event, myself and some friends were fortunate enough to make our way through to meet him. The first question we asked was if he was really Elton

John.

You can imagine our sadness when the man who looks and sounds just like the man himself, mouthed “No” and said “Some people think I am.”

At last we were left wondering, was he the real Elton John pretending that he wasn’t? Or was he really just a tribute? A little further research and I believe I have found the answer...

According to Elton John’s website, he had a concert in the USA the following night. It is highly unlikely that he flew from High Wycombe to the USA, got over the jet-lag and gave a performance in less than 24 hours. I then found an Elton John tribute advertised for 24th November at the Wycombe Swan. Finally I found an article published on the Bucks Free Press that claims it was an Elton John tribute act.

For many of us this was a dream-shattering moment, when we discovered it. He wasn’t the man who gave us “Can You Feel the Love Tonight” amongst other childhood favourites. And so, I feel we can only ask, can we see the real Elton John next year?

Ramblers Use 75th Anniversary to Stage Protest Walk

By Shane Millar ON THE 13th November, the Ramblers celebrated its 75th anniversary as an established society. The members of the Buckinghamshire, Milton Keynes, and West Middlesex branch used this very important date on their calendar as a chance to protest against the construction of HS2, the high speed railway line which is set to run directly through the Chilterns. The Ramblers main concern is that some of the area’s most picturesque countryside and well used footpaths will have to be destroyed in order to accommodate it.

Sir John Johnson, retiring Chairman of the Chilterns Conservation Board, came along to participate in the walk, and also to give a sendoff address before the walk began. He gave an impassioned speech to the waiting crowd, saying: “It’s about freedom to walk...and what I’d like to say is, now’s the time to think about HS2. It’s going to be a battle. There’s no doubt about that. Don’t think we can just make a fuss, and it’ll go away, it’s got to be fought…

Thank you for coming, and thank you for organising it everyone. Let’s go and walk”.

Over two hundred and fifty members of the public convened at Wendover train station to take part in the ten mile protest walk. It was quite a sight to behold. There was an air of solidarity and community spirit within the group that was plain for all to see, and which only served to highlight the Ramblers slogan that they are indeed “at the heart of walking”.

Unfortunately Julia Bradbury, the President of Ramblers, was unable to attend the protest because of her commitments with the BBC. However, the Ramblers Area Chairman, John

Esslemont, read out a message on her behalf.

It read: “Over its 75 year history, the Ramblers has transformed Britain for walkers, opening up the countryside and inspiring people to get out there and get walking. I’m equally passionate about getting Britain to its feet, which is why I’m proud to be part of such an iconic institution in its 75th year. Footpaths are the life-blood of walking, by protecting them and caring for them, you protect our ability to walk them for generations to come.

I’m honoured to be able to contribute to the Ramblers vital work, safeguarding walking now and for future generations.”

Mr Esselmont himself went on to say: “We’ve always been a campaigning organisation…We may not have the expertise

to challenge the overall case for the project, though we can say that we don’t feel it is an appropriate development in an area of outstanding natural beauty. However something we, as a local branch of a national organisation cannot say is just that we don’t want it in Buckinghamshire. For the Ramblers, the whole country is our backyard”.

Mr Esselmont closed his speech – which was greeted by a round of applause from the crowd – by stating that almost 100 footpaths between Buckinghamshire and London will be crossed by the proposed route of HS2. This means that the surrounding countryside will suffer.

The Ramblers message is a clear one, say no to HS2.

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With all the talk about the increase in tuition fees and the media coverage of the student protests mainly focusing on the funding of Higher Education, you may have missed that over the last year there has already been huge cuts to the HE budgets which we are already seeing affect students on our campuses.

Cuts watch will feature in each paper between now and the end of the year and is YOUR chance to tell us where cuts are happening on your course and how it is effecting you.

In this edition we will be looking at some of the things we have noticed and things that students, lecturers and staff have brought to our attention.

Unfortunately these cuts are going to get progressively worse as the government continues to wash their hands of Higher Education. We understand that even if the University charge everyone the top fees of £6,000 per year, it will not match the current level of funding from the government. So in the future students will pay more and get less.

Have you seen cuts in your area or on your course? Please send them to us at tom.foy@bucks. ac.uk. We will print all of your replys in the next edition.

Decrease in Contact Time:

We have been informed by lecturers that Students on some courses have been seeing a decrease in contact time. Although many will deny this lectures have been scheduled in for two or three hours many never going the distance. We have been told that this is due to a large number of Academic Staff taking voluntary severance over the summer, in cost saving measures, leaving the academics still here having to cut short lectures to do other work.

Course Closures:

We have already seen Glass and Ceramic fall on its sword with Journalism Insert others soon to follow suit. This can have a number of effects on students; employers often look at the course students had studied to see what modules they have done and skill they have learnt. If the course no longer runs employers can’t do this and may not employ that person, this actually happened to a group of textiles students just because they changed the name of the course which had to be changed back. Also if a course is closing what motivation is there for your lecturers not to go and find another job? Potentially leaving you with people covering who are not specialists in the area of study.

Big Deal:

We have already seen the Faculty element of the Big Deal scaled right back. People have previously received notebook computers, £100 book vouchers, subsidised trips, professional memberships and much more. Now, having applied to Bucks on a promise of a better student experience, some students are receiving nothing. We have even heard from lecturers that when there is still Big Deal money available it is used to pay for refurbishments rather than providing additional support.

Money Advice:

The University closed it’s Money Advice Service, which was operated by a team of staff over both campuses. To replace the advice part of the service the University has given the Students’ Union the funding for only one extra Adviser in the SU Advice Centre. This has put huge pressure on the Advice Centre as they have to deal with all the money problems as well as all of the normal student issues such as housing, visas and course problems. The University still administers the Access to Learning Fund and the University Fund from the Student Centre.

Lecture Notes and Handouts: One of the cut backs that has angered most students has been lecturers not providing handouts for their lectures. Most students feel that if you are paying in excess of £9,000 for a degree why can’t you get a copy of the lecture notes?

9 Bucks Student

You said…we did: improving the student experience in 2010 Bucks New University is committed to putting its students at the heart of activities. We welcome your feedback and are continuously improving life for everyone at Bucks.

We can’t do everything you ask - some things simply aren’t practical or affordable - but we do promise to take all your comments seriously and do whatever we can to improve your experience at Bucks.

This year we have put in place a number of initiatives in response to your comments.

Here’s a selection: The Sanctuary A new multi-faith prayer/quiet room (The Sanctuary) is now available on each campus for quiet reflection, meditation and prayer for those of any faith or none in room N1.10 High Wycombe and 3.09 Uxbridge.

Course-related costs We are now publishing clear information about course-related costs through UCAS – including the equipment students on certain courses may need once they start, such as for sports, clubs & societies, books, materials and tools.

Learning Partnership Agreement This is a two-way agreement which makes clear not only what we expect from you, but also what you can expect from us. With staff and students working together, we can achieve our mutual goals. Students worked with us to develop the agreement. You can find it on our website bucks.ac.uk under current students, or direct from here: http:// bucks.ac.uk/PDF/Bucks_Learning_ Partnership_Agreement1.pdf Libraries open when you need them most We extended our library opening hours in response to feedback. We carried out a comprehensive survey of library use and

now offer extended opening at those times when you need to use the library most, including Bank Holiday Mondays.

Alumni club for former students We’ve launched an alumni group, with a website and regular events to attend, including an annual alumni gathering in September.

Extended gym opening hours The gym on High Wycombe Campus is now open longer to suit you. At Uxbridge, we negotiated a special discounted rate at Virgin Active (The Leisure Building, Vine Street – five minutes’ walk from campus) for Bucks people.

Uxbridge third floor Students tell us that opening up the third floor at Uxbridge Campus has made a big difference to the student experience with the large and flexible auditorium, openaccess computer areas, group study rooms, Learning Development Unit, boardroom, open-plan quiet study room, multi-faith room and social space.

New space for Art and Design At High Wycombe Campus, art and design students have moved from the South Wing to a greatly improved space in the Timberlake Wing and their new surroundings include studios for graphics, advertising, fine art, and foundation art, as well as photography studios.

Our fine art students have moved from the Octagon, close to Eden Shopping Centre, to the refurbished Timberlake Building.

The Art Shop has also been relocated to Room T2.06 in Timberlake building, close to the majority of our art and design courses.

We wish you every success in your studies and hope you enjoy the holidays!

Top Right: Alumni Launch event in September; Bottom Right: new third floor at the Uxbridge campus and Above: new space for Art and Design courses which moved during the summer into the Timberlake wing

Make me funny? For free? Your avin’ a laugh!!

Recently I embarked on a three-week scriptwriting and comedy course; it was all free thanks to the ‘big deal’.

Hosting it was two very talented comedians. Adam Crow who has worked with such companies as Buena Vista, Sky and the BBC, and also David Whitney who has worked closely on ‘Fonejacker’ and also a truly funny stand-up from what I have seen on ‘Youtube’.

The courses started with scriptwriting, which was from 6:30pm – 8pm and then comedy from 8pm9pm and both proved to be very informative about such subject matters whilst being informal.

During the first week we met a very up and coming

director called Tim Barrow; he made a film entitled ‘The Inheritance’ which has been well received by the media and also shows how he wrote the film on a low-budget and how he and friends went about filming it, I personally recommend anyone to check it out, theinheritancethemovie. co.uk.

As I am studying film making here at Bucks I found the script-writing course to be very helpful and also gave me a motive to get out there and start thinking about and writing ideas myself, also some useful websites for other aspiring scriptwriters are Inktip.com, shootingpeople.com and scriptpipeline.com.

The second half of the workshop was comedy (stand-up in particular). I wasn’t sure I would stay for this one as the thought of standing up in front of an audience and attempting to make them laugh sounds as appealing as… something very unappealing (see I’m rubbish at this comedy stuff!)

However I stayed for the comedy to get my moneys worth… it’s free…bugger!

Ah well it was definitely worth it and there was no pressure on anyone, it was basically just showing us how we would go about putting a routine together and how to structure jokes; funniest thing I’ve seen, funniest thing I’ve heard and what kind of comedian

I would want to be etc…

I was even writing a few jokes myself by the end, which I am not going to post publicly!

For more information on the course go to: thecomedycorporation. com.

I am grateful to Bucks, Adam and Dave for hosting this and recommend anyone go to future events hosted by ‘the big deal’ as with issues at the moment such as education cuts they may not be free for much longer!

Anyone who wants information on, or is interested in signing up for, any other recreational activities please email jennifer.yarrow@bucks. ac.uk.

By Harrison Boileau

Do you want to set someone up on TV? We are currently making a brand

new hidden-

camera comedy show and we want to hear from you!

You could set-up

your friends, family, partner or work colleagues and possibly get your own face on screen at the same time!

Email your contact details, including a daytime telephone number, nearest major city and age to contributor@runningbarepictures.com. You should also include a bit about the person you want to set up and a recent photo of you both. The closing date for applications is 4th April 2011 Everyone nominated must be over 18

Performing arts lecturer Roberto Sanchez-Camus and some of his students worked in sub-zero temperates to create an intense statement about education cuts on a billboard outside The Gateway. Roberto said: “The solidarity was tremendous and very rewarding.” The second new board was created by final year furniture restoration student Lee Baker to reflect Bucks students’ strength in enterprise.

10 Bucks Student

INTERNATIONAL & TRAVEL

Bucks

Lifestyles

What is Diwali?

Boston to Los Angeles in one month

NEW YORK CITY

A

rrived in New York after a five/six hour train journey from Boston. I met a great guy on the train called Richard who made the journey pass quite quickly however I was feeling rather tired.

The minute I arrived in Penn station I suddenly woke up; live music, dancing and general hustle and bustle gave this city immediate character.

After having found the hostel on the upper west side after another long journey from block to block I unpacked and relaxed on my bed.

Then I heard the door open, a middle aged woman walked in, she tells me that she is from Frankfurt and gives me advice about NY, where to go, what to do etc…

She told me that she goes to NY aIl the time. I explained to her that I only had a few days, so she then tells me to ‘get out of bed and to walk a couple of blocks down to Broadway, then get the 1 or 2 subway straight to Times square.

After around twenty five minutes or so I had arrived, it kicks Piccadilly’s butt!

I hung around Times square for a while taking photos, ‘everyone wants their photo with a N.Y.C. cop’, then I went back to the hostel; I was in need of sleep, New York might not go to bed but I needed to.

The next morning I visited ‘Tom’s diner’ for breakfast; ‘Tom’s is famous for being the restaurant in the series ‘Seinfeld’.

I had a coffee or ‘cwaffee’, pancakes and a bacon and egg sandwich (unfortunately no brown sauce) I was given steak sauce instead.

Later on that day I hit ‘downtown’ trying to fit as much as possible in; The Rockefeller Building, Statue of Liberty, Grand Central Station, Wall Street, Modern Art Museum and Ground Zero which must be the most upsetting place I’ve ever been.

By Harrison Boileau - Features Editor features.editor@thebucksstudent.com

There is so much to do and I had so little time to do it in.

That night I hung out with some Spanish guys from the hostel, unfortunately not being 21 I was unable to go clubbing, so me and the German lady decided to go for something to eat (not a date) in a nice little restaurant in Times square called ‘Sbarro’. One guy who worked there was literally insane and for some reason he had at least 50 pens in his pockets and 20 watches on his wrist, “ya never know when you need a pen he said”.

Later on that night a new girl enters the hostel, she was stunning and so very English; she was doing some Spanish salsa class in NY and explained how I should get into it, however it’s not really my thing. We stayed up talking about English-American differences and fell asleep, I was going to Washington D.C. the following day.

Next day I woke up early, packed my things and checked out. Breakfast at Tom’s again and a stroll through central park before my train.

I watched a few minor league baseball games in the park, ‘god some mothers take it seriously’ as one persistently shouted the whole game ”C’mon Billy” “Show em’ what your made of Bill!”

Later I met a guy who was playing guitar under a tree, having recognised that he was playing ‘9 crimes’ by Damien Rice I went over to introduce myself, his name was Ned and he was a really genuine guy; he didn’t have ‘facebook’ so he gave me his mobile number and said “If your ever in New York again…” …Note to self ‘go to New York again!’

Me and a NY police officer (Times sq.)

‘Just like the movies’

T

his year on Guy Fawkes, 5th November, it was Diwali too. Many other cultures that do not celebrate Diwali are not aware of what it means and why so many families from an Asian background celebrate this festive day with fireworks and candles.

Therefore, I thought I’d introduce to you what Diwali is and what such an event for means to these particular cultures.

Diwali, the Hindu festival of lights, is the most popular of all the festivals from South Asia. It is also an occasion for celebration by Jains and Sikhs. Every year much of this population celebrates Diwali, which extends over five days and occurs on the fifteenth day of the Hindu month of Kartika (during October/November in the Gregorian calendar). The fourth day of Diwali is the Hindu New Year. Because of the lights, fireworks and sweets involved, it’s a great favourite with children.

The festival celebrates the victory of good over evil, light over darkness and knowledge over ignorance, although the actual legends that go with the festival are different in different parts of India.

‘The Times of India’ sum’s up the modern meaning of Diwali as, “Regardless of the mythological explanation one prefers, what the festival of lights really stands for today is a reaffirmation of hope, a renewed commitment to friendship and goodwill, and a religiously sanctioned celebration of the simple - and some not so simple - joys of life.”

In Britain, as in India, the festival is a time for thoroughly spring-cleaning the home, wearing new clothes and most importantly, decorating buildings with fancy lights. The British city of Leicester is noted for its Diwali celebrations.

Diwali is a New Year festival in the Vikrama calendar, where it falls on the night of the new moon in the month of Kartika. Business people regard it as a favourable day to start a new accounting year because of the festival’s association with Lakshmi, the goddess of wealth.

Diwali is also used to celebrate a successful harvest.

The name of the festival comes from the Sanskrit word dipavali, meaning row of lights. Diwali is known as the ‘festival of lights’ because houses, shops and public places are decorated with small earthenware oil lamps called diyas.

These lamps, which are traditionally fueled by mustard oil, are placed in rows in windows, doors and outside buildings to decorate them.

The lamps are lit to help the goddess Lakshmi find her way into people’s homes. They also celebrate one of the Diwali legends, which tells of the return of Rama and Sita to Rama’s kingdom after fourteen years of exile.

In India oil lamps are often floated across the river Ganges, it is regarded as a good omen if the lamp manages to get all the way across.

Fireworks are a big part of the Diwali celebrations, although in recent years there has been a move against them because of noise and atmospheric pollution as well as the number of accidental deaths and injuries.

For many Indians, the festival honours Lakshmi, the goddess of wealth. People start the new business year at Diwali, and some Hindus will say prayers to the goddess for a successful year. Some people build a small altar to the goddess and decorate it with money and with pictures of the rewards of wealth, such as cars and houses.

Hindus will leave the windows and doors of their houses open so

By Tanya Virdy that Lakshmi can come in. Rangoli are drawn on the floors, which are patterns, and the most popular subject is the lotus flower. This in because images of Lakshmi traditionally show her either holding a lotus or sitting on one.

There is much feasting and celebration, and the Diwali lamps are regarded as making it easy for Lakshmi to find her way to favoured houses.

The goddess Kali is celebrated at Diwali in the Bengali and Oriya areas of India.

Many Indians see Diwali as an occasion to gamble. This comes from a legend in which the goddess Parvati played dice with her husband on this day and she said that anyone who gambled on Diwali night would do well.

Diwali is very much a time for buying and exchanging gifts.

Traditionally sweets and dried fruit were very common gifts to exchange, but the festival has become a time for serious shopping, leading to anxiety that commercialism is eroding the spiritual side of the festival. In most years, shopkeepers expect sales to rise substantially in the weeks before the festival.

Diwali is also traditionally a time to redecorate homes and buy new clothes.

Two of the legends of Diwali show the triumph of Good over Evil and tell of the destruction of two monsters that preyed on humanity.

The demon Narakaasura was the evil king of Pragjyotishpur, near Nepal. He ruled with a reign of terror, abducted 16,000 daughters of the gods and stole the earrings of Aditi, mother of the gods.

The gods asked Lord Krishna for help and after a mighty battle he killed the demon, freed the girls and recovered the earrings.

BEAUTY TIPS FOR LAZY GIRLS

Nailed it!

U

s lazy girls have a fool-proof way of looking glam and well groomed right at our fingertips. Literally! Beauticians around the world agree that tidy, polished nails are seen as the ‘icing on the cake’ if you will.

They complete any outfit, hairstyle or makeup style. Here is the hands-on approach to nicer looking nails.

Firstly, there is no point in having lovely nails if we are showing them off on dirty unkempt hands; so be sure to use hand cream as often as possible. Also, although I try desperately not to sound like your mother (and not that you need reminding!) it is so important to wash you hands after using the loo. A shocking 10% of women do not wash after flushing and another 30% don’t wash properly! So don’t be afraid to give them a really good scrub.

Now for you to try out the student home manicure; it won’t cost you a penny and will

only take a few minutes to achieve gorgeous looking nails. All you have to do is follow these easy steps: 1. Remove any traces of old polish – you’d be surprised how long it hangs on 2. Shape each nail with an emery board as nail files do more harm than good 3. Cuticles are a nightmare so take special care. Soak them in warm water and then push them back with a cuticle stick.

4. Apply a protective base layer of clear varnish, to your nails, obviously not to your hands.

5. Then follow by a coat or two of your preferred colour. Leave for a few minutes then apply a second layer of clear varnish to really get them sparkling!

And there you have it; a make shift manicure for us lazy lasses. Make sure to mix and match colours with your outfit and accessories to really catch people’s eye.

The rescue of the 16,000 girls is said to be the origin of the story that Krishna had 16,000 wives. After his victory Krishna returned very early in the morning and was bathed and massaged with scented oils. Taking an early morning bath with oil is still a Diwali tradition.

Ravana, who had ten arms and ten heads, was the wicked king of the island of Sri Lanka, who kidnapped the wife of Rama. Rama had been in exile for 14 years because of a disagreement as to whether he or his brother should be the next king in Ayodhya.

After a great battle Rama killed the demon and recovered his wife.

Rama’s return with his wife Sita to Ayodhya and his subsequent coronation as king is celebrated at Diwali.

When Rama and Sita first returned to Ayodhya it was a dark moonless night and they couldn’t see where they were going. Their people put little lamps outside their houses so that the new king and queen could find their way, thus beginning the tradition of the festival of lights.

11 Bucks Student

Confessions of a Fresher “Staying in touch with the real world was never going to be easy”

C

oming to university; you are in your own little hazy beer bubble the whole time you’re in your first year.

Us Freshers spend more time getting over painful hangovers and eating aromatic instant mash than actually keeping up-to-date with current affairs.

You can really only look at us lot in two ways: A: Goblins; we hobble in and out of our cold, damp caves grunting and stinking the place out with our neglected feet. The only real light these Goblins see is when they have to venture out for more provisions or when their rags get dirty and need washing down by the stream.

Above: Diwali is commonly celebrated by decorating homes with lamps and candles. Below: a Diwali fireworks display

Dreams Deciphered Dear Binty, I am recently having a recurring dream where I am stuck in a rushing river and can’t move a single muscle. It feels almost suffocating and I think I’m being pulled under by an invisible force.

I’m constantly trying to swim away or to dodge obstacles but can’t, although I never get hit. Does this have anything to do with me being in my first year of uni here?

Anon, 1st year

Dear Busty

Dear Dreamer, I’m glad you’re thinking like a true dream decipherer, good for you! The fact you mention that you are worried that your dream is linked to your first year here at Bucks leads me to believe that you are not entirely comfortable with it? Just a guess!

Water is a life giving force so therefore it is only fitting it can represent the flow of life. Being in a river symbolises your life and the way that you are living it. Fast flowing water or rushing water as you mentioned is showing that your life is moving too quickly for you, or can also represent your passion. Going down into water indicates the need to renew you strengths and abilities. And the crushing feeling can relate to your own fears being overwhelming, or not feeling entirely comfortable with your surroundings.

I don’t think you needed my help on this one, my mysterious mystic friend. You have hit the nail on the head! I do think that this dream is to do with you coming to university. But don’t fret my pet; everyone has gone through the same situation. It seems to me, after looking into your dream that you feel your life is moving too quickly for you now that you are at university.

Although you love the course you are on, you are overwhelmed by this new pressure of work, but you have realised you must gain the strength to overcome this feeling of helplessness. Don’t worry; I am confident that you will pull through. Good Luck.

Got a course problem, personal problem, financial problem or any other problem? Then email me at dearbusty@thebucks student.com.

Dear Busty, I am part of a sports team and find one of the guys in the team is really doing my head in. He thinks he’s the boss and takes it upon himself to order everyone around. I don’t really want to quit because I love my sport but the guys a T***!

(Angry, 21) Well Mr Angry I completely understand your frustration. You have come to the right place So there are a number of things you can work on to resolve the issue with this curse educing sports team member! Number one would be to voice your opinion have you even told him how much he winds you up? Number two everything he tells you to do replay with a “why don’t you?” some may say

a childlike response others refer to it as “you sure showed him!”

Third and final grow yourself some bojangles and kick him in his that will silence the power tripping geezer and make him think twice.

Kisses on your face, Busty x Dear Busty, I can’t stand my boyfriends best mate. He is constantly making comments about his ex infront of me. What’s his problem? What should I do?

(Cassandra, 22) Cassandra darling. That is classic jealous best friend syndrome.

He is trying to make you feel as uncomfortable as possible in

B: Cavemen / Cavewomen; Obviously this way of looking at us shows a lot more promise – we have the ability to develop our Minds and our Skills to shape the world we live in.

Two loose analogies there; but we all know that we would rather be known as Cavemen than Goblins.

Staying in touch with the real world was never going to be easy.

I used to read papers and watch the news long enough to form my own impression, but now I’ll briefly catch a story and simply regurgitate it in later conversation with my peers. I’m not happy with this as you can probably tell and seeing as this piece will be in its usual ‘Lifestyle’ section, I hope you can identify with the point I’m raising.

Recently it feels as if I have lost touch with the world which I and many others live in. Without the educated view of what is happening around me I feel desensitized, like I no longer care about the things I should. When speaking to a close friend (whose name I cannot disclose) he agreed and said: “I bought a paper in Heathrow the other day... only read about 2 pages” I’ve always wanted to grow up in an environment where I’m learning as much as possible and keeping my mind open to new things and development.

The ignorance of youth has gotten to me with all its might. However, despite my feelings of ignorance and loss, I am doing something about it. If you’re on a similar path, may I strongly suggest that you go from ‘Goblin’ state to ‘Caveman’ state where there is still hope... order to make sure you don’t want to be there when they are spending time with each other. Imagine a dog weeing on a tree; this is your best friend weeing on your boyfriends leg (hypothetically speaking) (although if you do catch his bezzie having a wee on his leg have a rethink babes) Rusty’s best mate, Barry the Badger from Chalfont would always make reference to Rusty’s ex Michelle the Gazelle about how she was a great singer yada, yada , yada. Well I tell you something Cassandra where is Michelle the Gazelle now?? Down the main street selling her rump! (the butcher got her) So don’t worry about it he’ll give up soon enough.

10.11.10 - The Demo If you have been ‘living’ in your dark, damp cave for the past four weeks and had no contact with the outside world then you might not have heard about this...

“WE ARE BUCKS – WE WILL MARCH” Does that ring any bells?

When speaking to one Bucks Student on whether or not she was attending, several weeks before the march, I got a simple yet surprising reply of “What March?”

E-mails from the Bucks Student Union were sent out weeks before the event to organise as many Students as possible to head up to London on what was to be considered as an ‘historic’ moment for students. This event I speak of was the National Demo against the Education Cuts which threaten all Universities (including ours) around the UK. The day of the march started early with mild excitement and exuberance filled snot oozing off many a student. It was cold, something which no student on the planet is ever prepared for. As we stood waiting in the queue, we shuffled forwards for 35 minutes before reaching Demo HQ; the epicentre of representation and the voice of action from the university. After being offered the obligatory “Bucks Antlers” and being given our “WE WILL MARCH” T-shirts, me and my fellow peers changed to wear our new gear with pride as we prepared for battle... whilst shivering and complaining about the cold.

Fast forward what felt like thirty something minutes and we were in the Capital. I couldn’t quite hear ‘The Smiths – Panic’ yet but I could hear the chanting as we walked towards where the March would start. It was when we got to where the march was to begin that I and probably everyone else around realised the level of care taken to voice the opinions of students. The comic value of standing in a large mass of people as you march towards Westminster is in the very imaginative efforts to make protest signs. The best received protest signs were: - “I only came out for a pint of milk...”

- “Is this the queue for Justin Bieber tickets?”

- “Golf Sale – This Way” Others made me chuckle but are unable to be published due to bad language (as you would expect from the youth of today).

The general atmosphere within the march was very peaceful and everyone knew what they wanted to achieve. That is not always a good thing however. In knowing what you want to achieve and knowing how to achieve it; some members of the protest, who represented a very small minority of students and activists, decided they wanted to achieve a different goal – one of violence and unrest.

The first signs of rebellion I saw were when student protestors decided to stampede if you like down towards Westminster. I joined, running fast I observed these people running with no real sense of knowing why; it seemed as if some were just doing it for the enjoyment and the sense of “When can you ever run down the street towards Westminster in a protest?”

It was then I began to feel independent from the crowd, already losing my friends in the mass I decided to try and absorb the atmosphere some more to see if it had altered later in the day. Waiting on a wall I watched a lot of content protestors simply walking past Westminster down towards the rally point – it wasn’t rough from what I saw at the time however others experiences will be different.

It was only when I phoned my friend who told me his Mother had phoned him telling him to avoid the Millbank Centre south of Westminster by the Thames because of some levels of “upset”.

I knew what was at the Millbank Centre; it was the Conservative Party Headquarters. I immediately ignored my friend and his mothers advice and headed for MillBank from the rally point.

When I got there; I saw violence and I got videos like other people might have done. What I saw wasn’t the protest which the organisers wanted it to be. I witnessed hooliganism – the only negative stream from the protest, where the majority had to cater for the minority and take responsibility for the extreme actions of those who thought their cause was righteous enough to become violent.

It’s not all bad news – I saw hope on the day of the protest.

It was a sign that people the same age as me actually care still about something which will affect them. Perhaps I was caught up in this hazy beer bubble of desensitized ignorance and others are not in the same boat but I felt and still feel energised by the march. National Newspapers reported close to 50,000 attended to take responsibility for themselves and others by speaking out.

The sense that people were attending the National Demo ‘just to have some fun’ was something which I was originally sceptical about. That feeling was shaken loose by seeing the sheer number of people who attended on a cold day in November.

10.11.10 – Also helped to reinforce the fact that students are living in an extremely interesting time on our planet and country.

With the economic crisis casting a shadow over most students now it is important for us to not be in a bubble; read the papers, watch the news and look after our own futures.

Christmas is coming up; when you go home contact those you care about and don’t slip away. Remember this weather at the moment may be making you feel grumpy, but imagine how much you’ll enjoy going into a fridge full of food when you’re home...

You won’t be complaining about the cold then.

12 Bucks Student

ON THE BOX Soaps Review

WHO DUNNIT? Who pushed Glenda down the stairs

By MJ // soaps.editor@thebucksstudent.com

I

n the run up to Christmas, we can expect doom and gloom as per usual, in Walford. The Christmas storylines are normally kept under wraps as long as possible and usually involves someone dying [Archie Mitchell was the victim last year] which takes the story into the New Years. This year however, so far, there’s no rumours of any kind of gruesome murder (which makes a change) and the New Years main storyline isn’t centrally attached to the Christmas storyline.

The previous few weeks has in fact been showing us the build up to Stacey Branning’s exit. The hugely talented Lacey Turner is seeking out new projects, hence the departure of her much loved, gobby and feisty character. Exactly how she’ll leave, nobody quite knows but what I can tell you is that Lauren’s knowledge on Stacey murdering Archie and Janine’s constant petty jealously at her husband fathering a baby with Stacey with be 2 of the pivotal points in this life changing decision.

We’ll be having another big “who dunnit?” A black gloved, mystery perpetrator will push Glenda Mitchell down the stairs.. Personally I can’t think of anything more tedious, as I hardly constitute her as a ‘major’ character whom deserves weeks and weeks of ‘investigation’ but I suppose any storyline beats sleeping with Ian Beale!

Other whispers include: Bianca being sent to prison, Julie has a ‘dark and haunting’ secret, Jean Slater will be making an exit (fear not she shall be returning next year), Charlie Slater bows out after 10 years and Janine

tries to kill Ryan – twice.

Finally the New Year’s storyline is set to be epic yet harrowing viewing. Ronnie Mitchell and Kat Slater will be both giving birth shortly. Ronnie’s baby will die (due to cot death), Ronnie will carry her baby’s dead body to the Vic (where everyone will be conveniently out the way celebrating the new year), where she’ll hear another baby crying – Kat’s baby. Without thinking, Ronnie will swap the 2 babies and take Kat’s baby as her own, hence leaving Kat to come back and find her baby death. It’s certainly a big change from the previous new year’s day storyline (Last year - Syed and Amira getting married despite the small fact that Syed’s in love with Christian) and it’s bound to upset a lot of viewers. However, Samantha Janus and Jessie Wallace who play both the women are bound to perform tear-jerking performances but it doesn’t take away the sensitivity of the storyline or the fact that many younger viewers are bound to be upset.. All the same, I’ll be glued to my TV set eager to see how it pans out.

Finally, a current ‘pet hate’ of mine is that major characters are now becoming secondary characters and aren’t deserving the screen time, continuity or decent material that the actors or actresses involved deserve.

Do I have particular characters in mind? Yes, I’m talking about the Masood’s and Christian and Syed.

3 weeks ago we saw the return of Yusuf who turned out to be Zainab’s first husband (whose family tried to set her alight), and everything from the writing, to the acting was brilliant. Internet forums were buzzing with excitement and there was nothing but praise for the characters/actors involved. Instead, the storyline seems to have started to die down and we’ve had to endure completely ridiculous u-turns such as Masood going to a hotel with Jane Beale for a bit of hanky panky. It’s ridiculous that Bryan Kirkwood (the director) doesn’t seem to have realised just how powerful the storyline was shaping up to be, and instead has dropped the realism for typical soap-esque rubbish. Get it sorted for 2011!

On that note, stay tuned, and I’d like to wish everyone a happy Christmas and New Year!

Television

The Apprentice

Thursday night on BBC 1 and - in stark contrast to the caterwauling and sobbing over at the X-Factor studios - another show quietly goes about its business, producing quality entertainment and genuine comic brilliance…yes folks, the Apprentice is back. Scrapped last year because of the up coming election, the show’s 2010 return has been long overdue and comes with only a few minor changes. The excellent Margaret Mountford has been replaced by a sub-par Karen Brady, and Alan Sugar is back with a new title….Lord Sugar; a name that unfortunately makes him sound less like a pier of the realm and more like a pimp from a Grand Theft Auto video game. Still, these are minor quibbles, mainly because - even in its sixth series - the Apprentice is still must see TV. Pantomime villains, razor sharp editing; both cringe worthy and laugh out loud funny…The Apprentice is television at its very best.

However, the real key to the shows enduring success is the consistently brilliant line-ups, and this year’s candidates are definitely no exception. Forget business

By Siobhan Carney savvy, slick salesmanship or intelligent insight, instead we’ve had Melissa, Alex and Stuart; a group of suited ego maniacs, who speak incomprehensible business gibberish

and make David Brent look like Bill Gates.

Particularly in the case of the already fired Melissa Cohen. A woman who will no doubt suffer karmatic retribution for her maneuvering of words, and her apparent lack of comfort with the English language. A brilliant TV highlight and one that may have

eclipsed last year’s epic, ‘pants man’ as my favourite ever reality show moment. (And I say this as someone who still has the screams of I’m a Celebrity‘s, Dean Gaffney, ringing in my ears.)

Over halfway through and it’s fairly evident that most of these “great business minds” couldn’t organise a p***-up in a brewery.

And, considering the randomness of the show’s tasks, they might well be asked to do just that.

The star of this year’s show?

Step forward Stuart Baggs “the brand”. An imaginary calculator using, yo-yo selling, cherub faced, ego maniac who has no doubt already ensured his place in Apprentice history. Highlights so far? Baggsy’s epic foray into team management; a genius bit of television in which he exerted his “extreme masculinity”, practiced casual sexism and generally managed to alienate everyone on the show.

Of course, it’s still too early to tell if this year’s show will be a classic but the signs are promising.

Now, can someone tell me where I can get one of Baggsy’s imaginary calculators?

It’s easy to be green

40

wash your clothes at a lower temperature

switch to online bank statements & bill paying

use a cloth bag to carry shopping

BUCKS NEW UNI fully supports recycling. You can find lots of recycling points around the campus including plastic, glass, paper & card and clothes.

remember to unplug your chargers

For more info: www.bucksstudent.com/recycle

Janine continues to poison Ryan

can be recycled in the rear car-park

can be recycled around university

can be recycled in the SU offices

can be recuycled in the SU offices

can be recycled in the SU offices

can be recycled in the rear car-park

can be recycled around university

glass

plastic

ink cartridges

batteries

mobile phones

clothes & shoes

paper & card

PULL OUT SECTION crash - new years eve - ms dynamite - brother

entertainment

at Bucks

edition 14

search: Bucks SU Photos (2010 -2011)

last and first week of ter

www.bucksstu

£1.50 jagerbombs for th Saturday 11 Alternator presents: lakes + guests

DOUBLE UP FOR £1 ON ALL MAINLINE SPIRITS plus special promos on the night

sunday 12

8pm - late

pub quiz + rock n roll bingo acs presents: ‘show somethin’

4 PINT PITCHERS OF CARLSBERg & STRONGBOW £7 5PM - 12AM

sunday 09 - start of term SU new years eve party live bag piper, fireworks, big ben, balloon drop, champagne & cocktails

monday 13 ulive presents: BROTHER+ missing andy

all draught £2 a pint 5pm - 11pm

onday 10 m 8pm - late bar ftse with sing along movies mamma mia + high school musical

all draught £2 a pint 5pm - 11pm suck my acoustic

8PM - 1AM 4 PINT PITCHERS OF CARLSBERg, STRONGBOW or snakebite £7 all draught £2 a pint

tuesday 14

8pm - 2am

comendy central live adam crow + sean percival + Gary Deloney

4 PINT PITCHERS OF CARLSBERg & STRONGBOW £7 5PM - 12AM Bottles of house wine £7 5pm - 12am

tuesday 11 comedy central live

4 PINT PITCHERS OF CARLSBERg & STRONGBOW £7 5PM - 12AM Bottles of house wine £7 5pm - 12am

rm at the Venue High Wycombe

udent.com/events

he rest of 2010 wednesday 15 THE frathouse end of term

friday 17 - end of term

thursday 16

Flirt! end of term party Ms dynamite bad taste christmas jumper

Xmas crash

suck my acoustic

SNAKEBITE £1.70 5PM - 12AM MIX & MATCH BUDWeISER/VK/ SAN MIGUEL £6 FOR 3 5PM - 12AM

8pm - 2am ednesday 12 w the frathouse

SNAKEBITE £1.70 5PM - 12AM MIX & MATCH BUDWeISER/VK/ SAN MIGUEL £6 FOR 3 5PM - 12AM

TUBORG CANS £2 STRONGBOW £2 A PINT ERISTOFF VODKA & RELENTLESS £1.80 RELENTLESS JAGERBOMB £2 5PM - 12AM

thursday 13 aftershow special presents: macabees DJ set + very special guests

TUBORG CANS £2 STRONGBOW £2 A PINT ERISTOFF VODKA & RELENTLESS £1.80 RELENTLESS JAGERBOMB £2 5PM - 12AM

CARLSBERG/VK/RED BULL £1.80 5PM-12AM CORKY’S SHOTS £1.20

friday 14 flirt! rubix cude theme

CARLSBERG/VK/RED BULL £1.80 5PM-12AM CORKY’S SHOTS £1.20

saturday 15 alternator Jettblack + very special guests

DOUBLE UP FOR £1 ON ALL MAINLINE SPIRITS plus special promos on the night

18 Bucks Student

PULL OUT SECTION

Delightfully tacky!

The Netball girls took over the SU on Wednesday 10th November with the delightfully tacky hooters sports bar. All the girls were decked out in possibly some of the shortest shorts you’ll ever see during November; however we didn’t see any of the basketball boys complaining, when they forked out £25 for star shooter Tanya Richardson.

The night got off to a great start, with all 9 tables packed and the nachos going down a treat. Not only this, the hot dog stand proved a big hit for late night munchies and we were sold out by 1am probably eaten mostly by the Rugby boys showed up in force, dominating the boat race’s on stage. Finishing off the night Brooke, the exotic dancer

(during the short time she was there) raised a few eyebrows amongst some, whilst Andrew Lang (rugby) seemed to enjoy himself, with reportedly his first ever lap dance!

Throughout the night, a bucket was going round raising money for the Movember prostate cancer charity and in total, netball were able to donate £30 to support all of those growing your beards. All in all it was a successful and enjoyable night had by all, raising just over £800 for netball. Another great triumph for BNU Netball. Well done and thank you to all those who helped out!

Netball Girls La La La

By Amy Gordon

By Louise Delahunty The Odeon cinema in Uxbridge opened its brand new IMAX screen on Friday 12th November. After a six week retrofit, the cinema’s largest auditorium was ready to unveil its IMAX digital theatre projection system which will run IMAX and IMAX(R) 3D films.

The IMAX screens are designed to enhance the viewer’s experience, allowing them to “see more, hear more and feel more”.

As a celebration of, and introduction to, the new IMAX screen, the Odeon hosted a special launch week (12th – 18th) in which it showcased films like Avatar 3D, Iron Man 2, Toy Story 3 and Inception, all in IMAX. As well as this, a FREE 23 minute preview of the upcoming Tron Legacy 3D was screened each day.

Lucky customers were able to view this a month ahead of the film’s official release on December 17th.

The brand new Harry Potter film, Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part 1, is screening in IMAX from November 19th.

The Pump House in Watford played host to English comedian Milton Jones November 21st in a ‘secret’ preview of his new tour.

Jimmy James Jones

Uxbridge Odeon Opens New IMAX screen

Check it out… if you have already… then…check it out again!

By Tanya Virdy Jimmy James Jones is his name and he is an absolute hilarious character. I received a link through my blackberry today and went to view it. Oh my god! From all the possible comedy I could watch, this has got to be in my top 3.

This young talented man, well known as ‘James’ is originally from North London, and lives in Milton Keynes now. He is half Nigerian and half Sierra Leonean.

James who is currently

Milton Jones

in his second year studying ‘Performing Arts’, involves himself in a lot of shows and performing. He recently performed a show in Milton Keynes in November where he was a special guest in support for ‘Black History Month.’

It was there where he had the audience off their chairs with laughter, requesting him for more of his talent to be performed because of the lack of time that was given to him.

Now if I were in that crowd,

I’d be very persistent to the organisers to have given him more time to continue. For those students who really appreciate comedy, this is something you should and need to watch, I can assure you you’ll be falling of your chairs with so much laughter as you watch James do a great stand up performance on stage.

So please, visit youtube. com and Jimmy James Jones to see what I’m still laughing about!

TUBORG CANS £2 STRONGBOW £2 A PINT ERISTOFF VODKA & RELENTLESS £1.80 RELENTLESS JAGERBOMB £2 5PM - 12AM

‘Show Somethin’ talent showcase THE African Caribbean Society ACS host many events in the Student Union. Yet again, they have a fantastic line up of events coming to us just before the term ends.

Recently, on the 23rd and 24th November, they held auditions for people who have talent like such as singing, rapping, poetry and etc. They have now selected around 8 people from the 13 that auditioned to go forward and perform at the talent show Case for ‘Show Somethin.’ This event is being held on the 12th December from 6.30pm till late at the Student Union in the White Room. It will be free-entry for Students from Bucks New University providing you have your ids with you and £3.00 entry for friends or family from outside the university who would like to come along.

‘B Moni’ who presents the Sunday Show in London will host the night itself. We well have live performances, which include ‘Metamore’, the rapper/poet.

We will be having a special guest performance from the urban female vocalist ‘Farah’. This young talented vocalist is originally from Birmingham who has been focusing on her music career for the past three years now. During this time, she has had a huge impact in the industry of music, working alongside other big UK artists. Farah will be performing ‘Kiss me & I can’t lose’ at the student Union on the night.

The night will consist of more live performances; comedy, singers, rappers, poetry and the official launch of ‘NewSkool Rules.’ For those of who you still not seen the flyers around the student union, the ‘New-Skool Rules’ is the largest international Hiphop and R&B conference which will be taking places in the Netherlands. This event will be ongoing for 3 days from April 1st – April 3rd.

There will be 14 workshops and master classes, 35 showcases, 3 after parties, speed date sessions, auditions, demo-listening sessions and much more…

This will be a chance for you network. For more information on the ‘Show Somethin’ event or ‘New-Skool rules,’ get in touch with James: 07501127397, james kristel@ gmail.com or Saskia: 07775429308, t.c.pinnock@hotmail.com or checkout: www.newskoolrules.com By Tanya Virdy

In this show, he gave an insight to his national tour ‘The Lion Whisperer’ and it is definately not a performance to be missed. He has a style that is uncomparable to any British comedian today.

He firstly appeared as his loveable grandfather, a slightly off-beat character with his little book of history telling clever puns about the past.

Then Milton, as himself, gives an unforgettable performance with the use of a slideshow and hilarious handdrawn pictures which had the small crowd tickled pink.

Jones has been rightly described as the King of one-liners; there is no connection from one joke to the next. Some may see this as a negative, but it brings a certain element of surprise, and has every audience member asking ‘what is he going to say next?’ that is if they stop laughing long enough.

Milton Jones began his comedy career in 1996 by winning the Perrier Comedy Award for best newcomer when he captivated British audiences with his mad Hawaiian shirts, crazy hair and lovable air of weirdness.

Jones has performed on BBC’s Mock the Week and for Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow. He also has had regular radio programmes.

His jokes are intellectual yet down right silly, bringing a humorous side to every topic imaginable.

If you are interested in attending Milton Jones’ tour next year, visit his website www.miltonjones.com for the when’s and where’s.

19 Bucks Student

PULL OUT SECTION An Interview with Brighton’s Finest… The Rocket Dolls Fans of fresh, riff-driven, post-grunge metal played by conspicuously talented, passionate and personable chaps will LOVE The Rocket Dolls. The Brightonbased three-piece formed in 2008, their debut EP ‘Frame’ was mixed and mastered by Ace (Skunk Anansie), and the band recently released their video for the title track of that EP. They’ve played with the likes of Zico Chain and Sylosis, and have even headlined London’s Tattoo Convention (2009). They’re very gifted twenty-somethings who favour black clothes, are pro-eyeliner and lay claim to the most elaborately spikey hair in contemporary rock. Owner of said hair, Nikki Smash (guitarist/ frontman), took the time to give us a quick email interview…

1. So what’s new with The Rocket Dolls at the moment?

Finished off the demos for our album now, we are just starting to record it. We are just finishing up the year

with a few really cool shows; Die So Fluid in Brighton on 2nd December, and our good friends New Device at The Purple Turtle in Camden on December 10th. New van parts are really the most new thing we have!

2. What are the band’s plans/ hopes for 2011?

We have got a tour coming up in February which hopes to start the year off for us rather nicely, with one amazing show with Australia’s ‘Grinspoon’ at the concorde2 in Brighton on February 24th. Our album should be realised as well along with a few new videos and maybe some very exciting tours and festivals throughout the year.

3. What’s the best and worst thing about being an unsigned band?

There’s a best thing!? It’s mainly the fact that sometimes people don’t take you seriously and that you haven’t always got that label push to help you get those tours and shows you want and need. The biggest thing is

having no money... and no-one there to spend money on you!

4. What would you do if you were omnipotent for a day?

Before curing world debt, I’d sort out the UK and make it great again!

Then organise a phat tour with the best bands around and make everyone to go it.... something like that!? Or make ‘Smoke on the Water’ the new national anthem!

5. As an interviewer it’s sometimes difficult to ask interesting questions that haven’t already been asked a thousand times - as the interviewee, what question would you like to be asked?

The funny thing is that this question is fast becoming the question to ask and as much as I think about it when being asked it, I really haven’t a clue, haha! I don’t think there is a certain question buts its clear in interviews who’s bothered to do research on you before asking certain things. So in answer; topical questions are my favourite, I’m not a fan of talking about yesteryear.

After glancing at question 6 I don’t think this fact is correct!

6. According to a psychological study, professionally trained musicians use both sides of their brain more than non-musicians, and often have higher IQ scores.

Since you’re all professionally trained musicians, I’d like to invite you to impart some of your double-sided-brain wisdom... Go: Fuck, hahaa! Well... never give up what you believe in, fight for yourself because sometimes you’re the only person who will, and you never know you may win! Be yourself, don’t be anyone else, never be afraid to admit you’re wrong....

Hmmmm I have no idea if these are even remotely topical.... I’m rather contradicting myself here! I will leave with this.... “Golf, a perfect way to spoil a walk” Winston Churchill.

Check out The Rocket Dolls at: www.myspace.com/ therocketdollsmusic.

By Louise Delahunty

MONDAY 13TH DECEMBER // 8PM - LATE FREE FOR BUCKS STUDENTS // £5 FOR PUBLIC FOLLOWED BY RIP IT UP DJS

DRINK PROMOS // 5PM - 12AM £2 TUBORG CANS // PINTS OF STRONGBOW // RELENTLESS JAGERBOMBS £1.80 ERISTOFF VODKA & RELENTLESS

WITH SUPPORT FROM MISSING ANDY & YOUNG FATHERS

what’s on... weekly club night, 2 rooms, text to screen dj’s goo, seb & sam

14th january 21st january 28th january

rubics cube escape from the zoo school disco

tuesday 14 decemBER adam crow sean percival gary deloney the venue, high wycombe doors open at 8pm, comedy at 9pm

, os g t r m s e u e o g l ia r b c e p s p s l a s a r s le y t a s k s k c u n i C B e t r a r f b le e o C D 7 s r £ e . y t h r a p e c e t v t i E i s r b a p e Y e w t e k at Rusty’s N 4 pin ow or Sna b g n o r t 2 S £ t h g u a r d l Al

21 Bucks Student

BucksSocieties

Each edition of the Bucks Student we will be highlighting and covering different societies that are available for you to join during your time at Bucks (a full list is available at www.bucksstudent.com/studentactivities. If there is a society that you would like to join then drop them an email OR if get in touch with the Students’ Union if you would like to set a new one up!

Happy birthday Red Button, May your year be fruitful!

Societies update:

Bucks Boxing

By Dan Hearn - Boxing Secretary

The Red Button Film Making society has celebrated its second birthday, a proud moment for society founder and Bucks postgrad student Sarah Harlow.

She said that “It makes me really proud to see what Red Button has become in it’s two years. It is full of passionate people with crazy ideas that turn into amazing projects”. The society aims to create short films involving anybody who wishes to become scriptwriters, camera operators, directors, editors and much more.

Red Button is in the early stages of planning for several short films including a zombie horror based on a new form of outbreak, a Christmas story twisting the tale of a well known Charles Dickens story, a

music video for a local metal band and a comedy sketch show due at the end of the year. The society undertook a large filming project several weeks ago of a preview for Sarah’s film ‘Godforsaken’ in which an isolated community is turned upside down by forces of supernatural origin. The filming was completed in one weekend with the help of hard working Red Button crew members and talented actors and actresses who had come far and wide, the furthest coming from Glasgow. Commitment was key to the success of the weekend and all of those who were involved proved that with great flexibility and enthusiasm.

Josh Clipsham, the current Red Button society leader, says “I’m

happy that we have gotten off to a great start with some really great members. I can’t wait to start filming for the next short”.

The society recently filmed a short written by former Red Button leader Holly Swain where members unanimously agreed upon the script which is a comedy based on the style of home documentary television shows.

If anyone is interested in joining the Red Button Film Making Society or would like more information, please contact Josh or James at red.button.society@ googlemail.com, join Red Button Film Making Society on Facebook, or follow @RedButtonBNU on Twitter.

By James Williams

Mature students society The great month of “Movember” has drawn to a close and the Mature Students Society have had an active fun filled time.

FREE Breakfast

On the 6th of Movember an intrepid group of students braved the cold night air to attend the Round Table fireworks extravaganza at Beaconsfield Cricket Club. With free transport and reduced price entry supplied by the society everyone was soon looking forward to the display.

We arrived finding a wide array of hot food and drink and even a good sized beer tent and once we had taken advantage of the stalls we settled into a nice spot to watch the display. As it was a cold clear night the fireworks looked as amazing and magical as they were intended to be. As numerous multicoloured bursts radiantly filled the sky, the mesmerising display seemed to be over as quickly as it had begun. It was only when someone mentioned the time that we realized we had been watching for around 40 minutes despite it seeming to go so much faster, although they say time flies when you’re having fun. We waited around after the display for a little while again indulging in the hot food and drinks stalls before taking a short walk to meet our ride home.

By Will Hoskin

Following on from previous Breakfasts the MSS put on two in quick succession, Friday 27th in High Wycombe and Tuesday 30th in Uxbridge. A number of students turned up to claim their FREE bacon bap and coffee with a wide range of discussions ranging from upcoming events and participation through to the Ashes and how well England had done the day before. In High Wycombe shortly before the discussion ended Tom Foy decided to drop in for a quick Cameo and bit of breakfast sparking a couple of quick fire question and answers. Curiosity satisfied everyone left with a smile on their face and a full belly.

Movember Bingo

Donating £1 from the entry fee to Movember, this was two fun sessions of bingo, prizes ranged from Bottles of wine to moustache mugs and plenty of Chocolate. Although the caller needs to work on his calls a little, there was a good time had by all those who attended and there will be more Bingo coming your way in the New Year.

Check out bucksstudent.com/ maturestudents for more details and upcoming events.

Bucks Boxing Society is going from strength to strength, with all its members having learnt the basic punches and defences, coach Stuart Scott has now started us sparring which everyone is progressing really well in and enjoying; even though there have been a few bloody noses and black eyes! A couple of us were even given the opportunity to spar outside of training sessions with one of Stuart’s other fighters for an upcoming charity boxing match he was taking part in which was great fun. Despite the cold winter weather this month we have also got our kit off for the Naked Calendar which was a good laugh and we are all looking forward to seeing the photos. Thank you to all those boxers who were brave enough to participate. If anybody is interested in having a go at boxing training sessions are Tuesdays and Thursdays 5.00-6.30 at High Wycombe Amateur Boxing Club.

For more information please check out our Facebook page ‘Bucks Boxing Group’.

DRAMA SOCIETY RELAUNCH!!

By Beth Wood - Chairman and Adem Andress - Vice Chairman We’ll be having a break over Christmas but we’ll be really busy planning some awesome stuff for you guys to join in with at Drama Society in the New Year.

We’re planning on putting on some shows and we need as many people as possible to help with everything from lighting to set and costume design...as well as acting of course! ;) We’re always on the look out for new members (experienced or not). So if you’re up for a laugh we will be meeting every Wednesday at 2pm in N4:15 from 19th January.

See you there!

Contact: bucksdramasociety@hotmail.co.uk Or search Bucks New Uni Drama Society on Facebook.

This week announces the arrival of five new societies for students to get involved with and a chance to meet new people or learn a new skill.

We now have a poker society who will be meeting regularly to run student tournaments and a chance for students to play, teach or learn poker.

Bucks DJ’s have been set up to promote up and coming DJ’s. WatchBucks is the new and improved BucksTV who will be documenting and reporting on events going on around the university.

BNU Dance Society will be launching in January and meeting on Mondays from 5pm until 7pm in the events hall. They aim to offer more dance training and performance opportunities to Bucks Students.

The Socie’tea’ meet once a week to offer an alcohol free social experience whereby members can enjoy a cuppa and a good chat; Tuesdays from 5pm in the SU Lounge. They are currently collecting lots of samples from companies so are sure to have something new to try!

To find out more about any society please email kerry.oneill@bucks.ac.uk.

Mature Students Society: The mature Student society has had a successful trip to Beaconsfield to watch the fireworks, afternoon bingo on both campuses and mature student breakfasts. Look out for the MSS selling raffle tickets to raise money for RAG with their Christmas raffle being drawn on the 14th December.

Red Button Film Society: Has recently finished filming for a short and is currently helping Wycombe Youth Action with a fundraiser. Their next project will be a feature length psycho thriller, so watch this space..!

Salsa Society: Salsa is currently looking for new members as they have spaces in their beginner’s class after members have moved up to higher levels. They meet on Mondays and Thursday at 6.00pm.

LGBT Society: The LGBT society will be holding an event in the SU on the 17th January 2011 and welcome all to come along.

It should be a fun night with a chance to socialise and meet new people.

LGBT Success at Bucks New Uni Buckinghamshire New University is celebrating the success of their new Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender official society. With a lot of campaigning from the various members, it’s official!

This is great news for many as it may mean that LGBT students, now and in the future, will feel safe in the university environment knowing that they are feeling the same way as others and they aren’t alone.

LGBT chairman, 20 year old Aaron Richards, says, “There are now 17 members. This may not sound like a lot, but considering there was no LGBT society before, this is a huge improvement. This just shows how far forward and opened minded the world and society is becoming.”

Members of staff have also expressed their happiness, and have offered both academic support and potential campaign ideas. Christopher Clark, 24, Vice President of Education at Buckinghamshire University said, “I’m delighted that we have been accredited a bronze levelling which means that we are now officially a society. If we get up to either silver or gold that would be phenomenal. I have been trying to set up an LGBT society ever since I was LGBT officer a few years ago.”

So what ideas have the members come up with? Well, work is being done on getting a gay friendly night at the

Student Union as it was found there was no gay scene in High Wycombe, with people venturing out to places such as Soho and Manchester to enjoy the gay scene if desired.

According to Chris Clark, “there used to be a buzzing gay scene. Now there is an unofficial gay night at Butlers on Sunday nights, but it is not that good. Various pubs used to have gay nights but these seemed to have died as ownership changed, or the gay nights at the pubs just stopped for no apparent reason” The general public, as well as gay students will be allowed access to the Student Union, and the plan is to have the SU gay friendly night to be monthly in order for the gay scene in High Wycombe to pick up again.

With rumours of acts such as Diva Fever from ‘The X Factor’ coming for the opening night, the gay friendly night seems to be one of the biggest nights at the SU if all goes ahead and the LGBT group keep on planning as well as they are now. According to social secretary Roxanne Rickets, 22, “gay clubbing is the best type of clubbing. Period.”

If you would like to contact the LGBT you can contact them via email: bnulgbt@hotmail.co.uk or through facebook: BNU LGBT Fanpage.

By Guy Humphrey

22 Bucks Student

Movie Reviews

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (12A) Released 19/11/2010 Running time: 2hr 30min

W

hether you’re a fan of the books, movies or both – you’re bound to love the latest instalment of the Harry Potter series.

The director, David Yates’, attention to detail has certainly helped recreate the atmosphere that you receive through JK Rowling’s amazing writing skills.

“These are dark times” kicks off the movie and there’s never a truer word spoken. Fans who have already seen the movie would notice that we don’t even see Hogwarts in this movie, as Ron Weasley [Rupert Grint], Hermione Granger [Emma Watson] and of course, Harry Potter [Daniel Radcliffe] search for the 7 horcruxes needed to destroy Lord Voldermort [Ralph Fiennes].

There’s action from start to finish, and not to mention a few tragedies along the way. We sadly say goodbye to Mad Eye Moody at the beginning of the film, who dies en route saving one of the ‘seven’ Harry Potters which unfortunately for him, happens to be none other than Mundungus Fletcher.

Hedwig, the snowy white owl who died was killed by a death eater (causing a few gasps from the younger viewers), and towards the end of the film, another notable death was the house elf, Dobby, who died saving the lives of Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ollivander and Luna Lovegood by dissaparating them from

Malfoy’s Manor to safety.

It wasn’t all doom and gloom as there were happier moments in the movie, such as when we saw Bill Weasley and Fleur get married – although that wedding was cut short thanks to Rufus Scrimgeour’s death and the Ministry of Magic being taken over by Voldermort.

Prior to the wedding, a charged moment between Harry and Ginny lead to the pair kissing, something that fans have been waiting for.

Ron’s worst nightmare of Hermione and Harry getting together, came to surface, just before he destroyed the locket (a Horcrux) – but fear not, it was merely the Horcrux torturing Ron Weasley with one of his biggest fears. We learn the tale of the ‘Deathly Hallows’ which plays a big part in the final instalments. The Deathly Hallows consists of an invisibility cloak, the resurrection stone and an elder wand – which combined can ultimately vanquish death.

It’s a race against time as Voldermort searches for the 3 Hallows while Harry, Ron and Hermione race to destroy all 7 horcruxes. Who will win in the battle?

Nobody knows, well maybe with the exception of avid readers who’ve already completed the final book, but ultimately, the film exceeds the high expectations that many people had set upon it. MJ

Due Date (15) Released 5/11/2010 Running time: 1h 35min

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The Kids Are All Right (15) Released 29/10/2010 Running time: 1h 46min

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n the outside a film like ‘The Kids are All Right’ (2010) might look like a little indie flick which should live in an Arthouse cinema, however once you delve in you realise that there is something more interesting and entertaining then a bunch of teenagers sitting around talking ala Mumblecore or a Kevin Smith movie. Not that works by the Duplass Brothers or Andrew Bujalski are teenage trash, it is just they have hardly pushed the indie boundaries like Lisa Cholodenko’s ‘The Kids are All Right’. Once again I am forced to pull out the Oscar nods card however this is the general consensus from a lot of critics, but there isn’t smoke without fire.

Nic (Annette Bening) and Jules (Julianne Moore) are a seemingly happy lesbian couple with children Joni (Mia Wasikowska) and Laser (Josh Hutcherson) however when Joni turns eighteen she is bugged by her younger brother Laser to call their biological dad Paul (Mark Ruffalo) and set up a meeting. Whilst not telling their loving mothers, Joni and Laser head out to meet Paul, a cool, relaxed man who appears to have it all. As Nic and Jules are quick to find out about Paul the family begins to see that everything isn’t what they believed it was. Head of the house Nic has a drinking issue which is reminiscent of Miles from Alexander Payne’s ‘Sideways’ (2004), Jules becomes confused with her life choices, Jodi is about to go off to college but has feelings for her long term friend Jai (Kunal Sharma) and Laser is friends with bad influence

Clay (Eddie Hassell). On the outside each character appears confident and sure of their lives however after Paul joins the mix everyone’s self esteem breaks down and we see their less than perfect world.

Penned by Lisa Cholodenko and Stuart Blumberg this smart, intellectual movie about parenthood, responsibility and growing up deals with some heavy issues. It’s obvious to note that it is an off beat comedy which some people are not going to get but that is the crowd who enjoy the works of Michael Bay. This is edgy stuff, especially with the lesbian couple, which doesn’t bog down any of the story plot, however it is really the family who works as a unit but breaks down if separated.

As I mentioned before the film can be associated with the likes of films such as ‘Sideways’, in that it prizes itself on dry humour, especially with Mark Ruffalo’s character Paul. All the main actors, especially Annette Bening and Mark Ruffalo’s characters, are very well acted and believable whilst being let down by minor characters, particularly with Kunal Sharma and Eddie Hassell, however that doesn’t detract from the movie on a whole.

Whilst ‘The Kids are All Right’ has very few minor weak links, on the whole the movie is very enjoyable. The characters are interesting and likable and the jokes aren’t the adolescent humour you come to expect in an Apatow movie. If you enjoy movies with some edgy intellectual characters this is right for you.

By Oliver Hunt

Another Year (12A) Released 7/11/2010 Running time: 2h 9min

R

iding on the success of ‘The Hangover’ (2009) which made just under $500 million world-wide, writer-director Todd Philips was given the permission

by Warner Bros to make any movie he wanted. The end result is something not too far from his last movie whilst at the same time audiences have flashes of déjà vu from movies such as ‘Planes Trains and Automobiles’ (1987).

Peter Highman (Robert Downey Jr.) is an uptight businessman who is on the road most of his life, whilst his pregnant wife Sarah is ready to go into labour.

On the day he is meant to catch a plane to get home, Peter meets wanna-be actor Ethan Tremblay (Zach Galifianakis) who is about to change his life. After briefly meeting outside the airport, they meet on the flight and due to a misunderstanding with an air marshal both of them are put on the “no fly” list. Ethan soon finds Peter, and they set out on a road trip from Atlanta to Los Angeles just days before Peter’s baby will be born.

As expected the long trip is full of genuine laughs. And this is to be expected from the director of possibly one of the funniest films of last year. Whilst the story isn’t completely original, and the few pointless cameos are thrown in to fill the time, the film on a whole

is worth a night out to the cinema.

Unfortunately Galifianakis is the weakest link as he is no different from his character in ‘The Hangover’. As the flamboyant strange character of Ethan, Galifianakis is no different then the dim witted Alan. On the other hand, Peter is a schizophrenic businessman who jumps between hating Ethan and liking him.

Together they make an odd funny couple just like Steve Martin and John Candy in ‘Planes Trains and Automobiles’.

Along their journey they survive through a lot of memorable moments such as attempting to cross the border into Mexico whilst stoned, crashing the car after falling asleep behind the wheel, and insulting a crippled war veteran and paying the price for it. Of course the events in ‘Due Date’ are outrageous and over the top, however the combined laughs of Robert Downey Jr. and Zack Galifanakis make it a trip worth riding in the back seat.

This movie appeals to practically all younger audiences whilst more mature audiences might not enjoy it as much. It’s definitely not as enjoyable as Todd Philips’ last flick but still worth a watch.

Whilst ‘The Hangover’ is very re-watchable, ‘Due Date’ lacks the same freshness.

By Oliver Hunt

ike Leigh has built his career on improvising his movies with the various actors he work has worked with over the years; taking a couple of months and only an initial idea and transforming it into a full movie with the help of the actors he employs. After riding the modest success of his last movie ‘Happy-Go-Lucky’ (2008) is ‘Another Year’ up to scratch on the edgy creativity Leigh’s known for?

Like everybody, Tom (Jim Broadbent) and Gerri (Jim Broadbent) are getting old. However whilst their happiness lies in each other it appears everyone around them is finding it much more difficult to find that special someone. As the spring turns to summer and so on, Tom and Gerri have various dinner dates with characters such as Mary (Lesley Manville) a dysfunctional co-worker of Gerri’s who likes to drink more then someone should, whilst on Tom’s side he battles to keep high spirits with his friend Ken (Peter Wight) who wants to find solace in Mary. The movie chronicles the year from Tom and Gerri’s point of view as the year goes by and characters come and go in through their little world.

One of the main problems with the movie is that it runs on much longer than it should. Whilst characters such as Tom and Gerri are fun and interesting in their old age, most of the other characters just nag on

and draw out the film. Characters such as Marry (who is very similar to Blanche from ‘A Street Car Named Desire’) keeps popping up uninvitingly as we begin to see her slipping from normality in such a way that when she is at the front door even audiences don’t want her around. Then there’s Ken, a pathetic booze guzzling chain-smoker who recalls when he was young before breaking down into tears. But their son Joe (Oliver Maltman) hasn’t got it any easier as he tries to find someone he wants to settle down with.

The movie ambles along each season with little point other then to draw the movie out into four separate sections as characters promises are lost through the different times. Leigh has definitely hit the same style Yasujiro Ozu in which the film centres around a character (or characters in Leigh’s case) and we see their friends and family around them as they effect the story however missing the historical importance which Ozu is know for.

Whilst it appears that nothing is happening underneath it all you have love, loss, alcoholism, shattered dreams and bitter disappointment.

Whilst ‘Another Year’ won’t be to everyone’s taste, some may find a heart warming story about getting old. Others will see it as nothing more then old people talking about getting old. If you enjoy works by the elderly director then you will be pleasantly satisfied however apart from it having a lot of heart it ends up feeling somewhat boring and repetitive.

By Oliver Hunt

What to watch this Christmas Y

Above: The Muppets Christmas Carol

Home Alone (PG) 1990 Running time: 1h 43min

It’s a Wonderful Life (U)

1946 Running time: 2h 10min

Nightmare Before Christmas (PG) 1993

Running time: 1h 16min

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Die Hard (18) 1988 Running time: 2h 11min

Gremlins (15) 1984 Running time: 1h 46min

Muppets Christmas Carol (U) 1992 Running time: 1h 25min

ou know it’s Christmas when you see the Coca-Cola advert on TV and you read the TV listings and see the movies they’re showing. As Christmas draws near here is a list of some of the movies which will help you dissolve back into the kid you use to be whilst also including some movies you wouldn’t think to be Christmas flicks but are technically either about, or set during, the Christmas holidays.

The First Movie I am going to mention has been a great movie to watch annually, and includes Macaulay Culkin when he wasn’t a drug addicted brat. Obviously I’m talking about Home Alone (1990), which is the story of a big family who all go on Christmas holiday together but unfortunately forget to bring their eight year old boy Kevin (Macaulay Culkin).

Whilst the parents are away Kevin runs amuck watching violent movies, harassing an old snow shovelling neighbour and invading his older brothers privacy. Everything appears to be perfect until two thieves Harry (Joe Pesci) and Marv (Daniel Stern) attempt to steal Kevin’s fun which sends him on a mission to defend his home by any means possible. Filled with laughs which never get old this is a film everyone should see this year. ow Christmas films can’t always be filled with fun and laughs sometimes you have to watch something with a lot of heart and joy and in this case: Frank Capra’s It’s A Wonderful Life (1941). For those who haven’t seen it the movie is about George Bailey (James Stewart) a frustrated businessman who is helped by an angel by showing what life would look like if he had never been born. Even though it isn’t filled with laughs this is a definite classic which

has stood the test of time. Even if you think you haven’t seen it you have seen the story in one carnation or another because of the great story elements. or those who are Tim Burton fans the next choice will come as no surprise, produced by the gothic master himself and directed by Henry Selick The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) is a brilliant movie especially in a time where CGI is seen as perfection and stop motion is dead.

The story is about Jack Skeleton (Chris Sarandon & Danny Elfman), the King of Halloween who becomes bored with his monotonous life and goes in search of something new and stumbles across Christmas Town. With a mix of songs written by Elfman himself and great visuals, this movie will always be played to both young and old and will be in any Tim Burton completesists collection. ow for something completely different, even though at first you wouldn’t think it is considered a Christmas movie but he holiday isn’t complete without at least one viewing of Bruce Willis as John McClane as he saves LA from terrorists in the brilliant Die Hard (1988). Now this is a film filled with gags and gore as the hard boiled cop, John McClane infiltrates the Nakatomi Plaza building to save his estranged wife Holly (Bonnie Bedelia) as terrorists led

by Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman) threaten the safety of all the hostages including Holly. Even though some of the sequels were terrible the original still stands for being a kick-ass all out battle between one cop and a building full of terrorists. he second to last movie I have picked to get people in the Christmas spirit is a movie so frightening no one wanted to feed their

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23 Bucks Student

By Oliver Hunt

beloved pets after midnight. Before I sound as if I have lost the plot, I am talking about Joe Dante’s Gremlins (1984). A lot of people might mistake a film such as Gremlins for a horror with humour however this is all cast over the Christmas backdrop. Whilst looking for a present to give to his son Billy (Zach Galligan), inventor Randall Peltzer (Hoyt Axton) stumbles across an old antique show in China Town and attempts to buy a small fury creature called a ‘Mogwai’ from a strange old Chinese man named the Grandfather (Keye Luke). After being refused, it is only his grandson (John Louie) who manages to sneakily sell Randall the Mogwai. Once bought, Randy is given a set of rules about how to treat the cute animal, 1) never expose it to bright light, 2) never get the Mogwai wet and 3) never feed it after midnight. Obviously these rules fall on deaf ears and its up to Billy to finish what he started. Even though it has dark tones the movie is still classic and enjoyable for everyone this Christmas. saved the best for last with possibly one of, if not the greatest, Christmas movies which everyone will agree with. This movie would be Muppet’s Christmas Carol (1992) which once again mixes funny songs with great characters as the Muppets do their take on the classic story by Charles Dickens whilst bringing in great acting talent such as Michael Cain to play the selfish Ebenezer Scrooge as he is haunted by three ghosts in order to change his soul in the after life.

I imagine it will be broadcasted on television at one point or another this Christmas but if not people should dig out their copies on VHS and remember one of the most enjoyable movies which everyone loves.

I

The Facebook Movie

Social Network (12A)

Released 15/10/2010 Running time: 2h 00min

By Oliver Hunt

O

ne of the biggest problems with David Fincher’s new flick ‘The Social Network’ is everyone going to see it is calling it ‘The Facebook Movie’.

What people don’t actually realise is that it isn’t about someone carelessly clicking ‘Like’ on their friends latest Facebook comment, but rather about the legal battles Mark Zuckerberg went through in the past decade to get Facebook to where it is.

The movie begins with soon to be billionaire Mark Zuckerberg (Jessie Eisenberg) on a date with his girlfriend Erica (Rooney Mara), with enough snappy dialog that the audience begins to establish what kind of a character Mark really is. He’s ingenious, fast and also a bit of an ass as his girlfriend soon dumps him, sending Mark off on a drunken rage to hack all the Harvard

Universities ‘Facebook’ pages and make a sexist site called Facemash.com for people to rate their peers. After being suspended by his university, Mark is approached by the Winklevoss brothers, who ask Mark to create a site for them called Harvard Connections. However, Mark has an idea for his own site, a site which everyone with a Harvard email account can access and make a profile, and with best friend Eduardo Saverin backing him, Mark becomes unstoppable. It is this site which later becomes the Facebook we all know and use today. From just the opening scenes we understand the irony which is throughout the film, and that irony is how possibly one of the most anti-social people created the most social network in the world.

With the West Wing’s script writer

Aaron Sorkin and director David Fincher behind it, ‘The Social Network’ ends up being a contest of wit between writer and director. It is so refreshing have a director who can use CGI (in the case of the Winklevoss brothers both being actor Armie Hammer) as a tool and not a gimmick, and a writer whose pacing is so fast it doesn’t wait for the dim-witted to keep up.

The acting in it is excellent, Jessie Eisenberg has established himself before and with this movie catalogue behind him, he appears to completely embody Mark Zuckerberg as a character. As well as Jessie, up-and-comer British born Andrew Garfield has really grown from ‘The Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus’ (2009) and only good things can come from the new Spiderman. Then there is Justin Timberlake (whose track record

of movies haven’t been great until now) as the Napster inventor Sean Parker who becomes Mark’s mentor, whilst attempting to divide long time friendship with co-creator Eduardo Saverin. But even the minor characters grab the audience whilst making them laugh or emotional. Although it is too early for Oscar nods, I wouldn’t be surprised if one of these three is nominated and it would be rightly so.

With the critical acclaim and its second week in the US Box Office chart this movie is really a testament to the fact that people would prefer to see a movie which is clever, funny and insightful.

The quick dialog and snappy characters make the lengthy film time go flashing by. We are the Facebook generation, and this movie captures it’s creation in a captivatingly way.

‘This sequel hits harder than a “Rocky” to the side of the head.’

Jackass 3D (18) Released

By Tanya Virdy

5/11/2010 Running time: 1h 34min

J

ohnny Knoxville and pals Steve-O, Chris Pontius, Bam Margera, Jason Acuna (“Wee Man”), Ryan Dunn, Preston Lacy, Ehren McGhehey and Dave England are back to their side-splitting, sometimes literally, shenanigans in Jackass 3D, which brings their daredevil comic antics to life as never before.

Whatever your feelings may be about the Jackass phenomenon in general, hilarious avant-garde stunt or incontrovertible evidence of America’s moral decay, there’s at least one positive thing to say about the latest, 3D-enhanced entry in this durable brand: You get what you pay for. That’s actually no small feat; at a time when audiences are growing increasingly jaded with paying higher ticket prices for a technology that rarely enhances the movie going experience, this film, like James Cameron’s Avatar before it, uses 3D to show you things you’ve never seen before. Things like an enormous dildo being fired out of a pump gun and shattering a glass of milk, numerous close-ups of assorted individuals being punched in the face in super slow-motion and, last but certainly not least, the awe-inspiring (and nausea-inducing) sight of a mountain of poo erupting from a guy’s anus.

Whether you actually want to see any of those things is a whole other matter, but the Jackass fan base should come away from the experience satisfied that the extra money they spent to witness the carnage in 3D was worth it. At the same time, though, the lack of an extra dimension wouldn’t have hurt the film all that much. The truth is that most of the outrageously stupid stunts that constitute the franchise’s bread-and-butter don’t require any additional visual enhancement. Moviegoers would have laughed, groaned or gagged at bits like “Tee Ball” (Jackass veteran and recovering drug addict Steve-O gets hit in the nuts with a tee ball), “Sweatsuit Cocktail” (a portly gentleman works out until he’s sweating buckets, at which point another guy, poor Steve-O again, drinks the fluid that’s collected in the plastic suit covering his body) and “Bad Dog” (Jackass ringleader Johnny Knoxville becomes a chew toy for a vicious attack dog) with or without the 3D boost.

Where the technology does come in handy are the slowmotion replays that accompany every stunt, with the 3D playback, you can really feel that dog taking a bite out of Knoxville’s ass, as well as the gags that are specifically designed to take advantage of the special 3D cameras built for the film. (That’s right, Jackass 3D was actually shot in 3D; after all, these guys would never go in for a lame conversion job like Clash of the Titans or The Last Airbender.) Examples of those stunts include “The Rocky” (the aforementioned clips of people being punched in the face) and the closing sequence, where the entire Jackass crew assembles on a soundstage that’s subsequently blown to bits by a series of explosions, all to the bombastic sounds of Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture.

What’s interesting about Jackass 3D is that, despite all the mayhem and gross behavior on display, the film’s overall mood is downright genial. Perhaps that can be attributed to the advancing age of the guys themselves; the safety-challenged daredevils who launched the franchise are all a decade older now and they seem genuinely amazed, and more than a little bewildered, that they’re still willingly subjecting themselves to this kind of abuse. That attitude makes them seem less like obnoxious punks (which is how they often came across in the series’ early years) than a group of old buddies teaming up for one last joyride. There’s certainly something charming about the camaraderie this gang of idiot’s shares, as well as their general inclusiveness. It doesn’t matter if you’re short, fat or ugly, if you’re willing to take a tee ball to the nads, you too can be a Jackass.

A feeling of nostalgia for bygone days permeates the entire production, manifesting itself most obviously in the closing credits, which feature old video clips and boyhood photos of all the principals. It’s also no accident that the last stunt in the movie is an updated version of one the very first Jackass gags ever committed to film, the so-called “Poo Cocktail,” where a guy is locked in an overflowing Port-o-Potty that’s then shaken around until he’s covered in excrement. Here that trick has been modified into the “Poo Cocktail Supreme” and involves bungee cords and small 3D cameras mounted inside the plastic john that literally capture the second that the shit hits the fan. This stunt handily encapsulates Jackass 3D as well as the prevailing Jackass ethos: It’s a stupid and crazy waste of time, money and resources, but you’ve never seen anyone else stupid or crazy enough to attempt something quite like it.

Christmas - a falsified tradition?

Christmas is normally seen as a celebration with catholic roots.

During Christmas time we sing carols on Jesus Christ’s birth, go to churches etc. as it is a very important religious time. On that day even non-believers associate themselves with some kind of religious sect and subsequently attend prayers. But how much does it really have in common with the real Christian tradition?

Three days before Christmas in 1993 the pope, John Paul II admitted that there is no mention of the Christmas Day in the holy bible.

Talking about the date 25 of December he said that ‘in ancient times pagans were worshipping the birth of the ‘Invincible Sun’ that coincided with winter solstice’.

The pope in his speech said that the replacement of the pagan celebration with another, in memorial of the only ‘real sun’ Jesus Christ was a natural cause of events, and seemed

for Christians logical and natural. In other words, the date of the birth of Jesus Christ was fabricated and falsified. So when did this forgery take place? One of the Vatican publications reports that ‘Christmas had been officially celebrated for the first time in the year 354’.

But what about the day of worship the Magi celebrated on the 6th of January? The feast which should commemorate the visit of three Magi (Kings) to the newborn Jesus Christ?

The same Vatican publication reports that ‘... there are many evidences that the similar thing happened with this celebration. It is highly probable that 6th of January become a festival for the same reasons as the Christmas’.

According to them pagan festivals influenced this tradition as well.

In fact, in ancient times in Alexandria, on the night of the 5th to the 6th of January pagans

were celebrating the birth of the god Aion (Catholic Encyclopaedia p.202-203) the god of time and eternity. ‘…It looks like the Church wanted to synchronise this festival’ we read in the publication.

Jesus Christ never ‘entitled’ his followers to combine the act of real faith with pagan rites.

Quite in contrary, he ordered that they should teach what he taught them (Mt 28:19,20) .

According to the bible he asked the then religious leaders ‘Why do ye also transgress the commandment of God by your tradition?’ (Mt 15:3) criticising by this all pagan festivals and calling them to abandoning those traditions.

Today Christmas are more about spending time with our families and commercial side of this time. But it is just fascinating how the falsified religion tradition had been so easily adopted across the globe.

By The K1 Crew Massive

We all love Christmas.

However, there are certain things that annoy the b’jeezers out of us. Here is a list, from members of Brook Street Block K, Flat 1, describing why the season is not so jolly.

Awful television leading up to the big day, and the day itself, with the most “dramatic” being Eastenders and Doctor Who. Being with family. More specifically, the really, REALLY annoying ones. Such as Aunt Fanny and Uncle Wilbert who get drunk after one shandy.

Novelty earrings. You know. The Pat Butcher type earrings. The really bad Christmas trees and snowmen that light up and play a festive tune that will surely light up the day of every bleak and miserable soul realising the expense of Christmas.

Socks. Everyone gets them and nobody cares.

Crackers. They pop and bang, and have truly terrible gifts in them. Why are they so popular?

Who is St. Nick?

The legend of St. Nicholas is one that has been told in many forms for centuries right across Europe, but who was this man and how did his story lead to the birth of so many legends, the best known of which being of course Santa Claus.

According to the St. Nicholas Centre, the true Nick was born in a village called Patara in the Third Century AD. Patara at the time was in Greek hands but today it sits on the southern coast of Turkey. He came from a family of devout Christians but was left orphaned quite young when his parents died of an epidemic.

Nick used his inheritance to follow Christ’s teaching “sell what you own and give the money to the poor” by assisting

Scrooge’s Christmas List

the needy, sick and suffering wherever he found them. Because of this and his service to God, he was made Bishop of Myra whilst he was still a young man.

He quickly became a legend throughout the known world for his kindness, generosity and concern for those in need.

Why do we put up stockings at Christmas for Santa to fill? It is because of the legend of the three poor daughters. The three girls belonged to a family that was so poor they could not afford any dowry, which was required for each daughter to marry. Unable to marry his daughters off, the father was going to sell them in to slavery. Before this could happen three gold balls were, on three separate occasions, thrown

Snow. Just plain annoying!

through the window of the house and they landed in stockings drying by the fire. Hence we now dutifully hang our stockings up by the fire in the hope that St. Nicholas will fill them. If you’ve ever received a orange in your stocking that is because oranges are used to represent these gold balls.

There are many versions of the legend of St. Nicholas, from the mysterious Duke in Russia in a green cloak leaving money outside people’s doors to the unknown benefactor who similarly fills clogs left outside houses in Holland with money.

No matter where you come from in Europe you will have at least heard of St. Nicholas even if it’s by another name like Santa Claus.

Rejoice oh ye faithful, Santa is coming!

So, Christmas is crap. Religious holidays aren’t usually a barrel of monkeys. Luckily, Christmas has as much to do with Jesus, as it does with brussel sprouts - they’re both lurking around, but we try our best not to acknowledge them.

With that in mind, it’s time for a nice Christmas story.

So the lights are on, but no one’s home.

The Christmas lights that is. As for why no one’s home, is most likely because they’ve watched so much X-Factor that their brains are now more void than Simon Cowell’s soul. Or it’s possibly because they’re busy cramming the streets, to watch the joyous event of the lights being turned on. I didn’t actually attend this event, mind. But I’ve been caught in one of them before, and I can’t imagine them all to be too dissimilar.

Coke Advert. After the millionth time of hearing “Holidays are coming”, it starts to grate on you.

Iceland advert. Anything with Kerry Katona is depressing enough.

Secret Santa. Having to buy a cheap, but at the same time thoughtful, present for someone that you don’t even like or know very well just sets in the panic and depression that the holiday brings. The fact that you never get the person you want also helps.

Waking up and realising that someone has taken the carrot nose off of your snowman that you took the entire day creating

By Joss ‘The Grinch’ Hill-Finegan Now let me make wild guesses, and paint the beautiful picture for you.

Imagine it now, if you will: fidgety children are running around manically, and screeching at poor grandma, who’s only there because she thought it was the queue for the post office. Mothers are either shouting at them in vain, or making snide remarks on others poor parenting. Fathers are standing there solemnly, their genitals vaguely resembling a sagging smurf, thanks to the bitter cold. The tension rises, as the masses wait in excitement. I think there might be some sort of parade around this time. No doubt led by the nearest inebriated man - thrown in a red suit at the last minute, shouting abuse at the children

the masterpiece. Nuff said.

The Queen’s speech. Does anyone pay attention?

At the age of 26, still getting presents, “From Santa”.

Annoying shop elf’s and their elf shoes trying to get us to pay to see the “real” Santa.

Overplayed Christmas songs.

Wham! Slade. Mariah Carey. We are sick of them!

Christmas stock coming out in September.

Dad eating the chocolate tree decorations and blaming you.

Christmas decorations out before December has even started.

The chocolates in advent calendars that fall down the back. This is enough to depress you for the entire day.

Setting up the Christmas lights on the tree and then the fuse blowing.

Spilling drink on the Christmas table cloth and mum having a go at you and saying, “This happens every year” Christmas Dinner and the lengths people go!

Repetitive Christmas cards.

Glitter, Snowmen, Children running happily, Father Christmas and Rudolph on their merry way. No one cares.

IT’S GOING TO SNOW. IT’S GOING TO SNOW. IT’S GOING TO SNOW. It doesn’t snow.

Carol Singers. Should be shot.

Oranges. What are they about?!

So here ends, our 25 piece list of all the things about Christmas that should be destroyed and culled!

Merry Christmas

and exclaiming ‘I’m not real!’ Well, that probably didn’t happen, but it would be nice if it did.

Finally, after all that excruciating waiting around, there’s the big event.

Who’s going to do it? Possibly someone we’re told is a beloved soap actor, but thanks to celebrity culture being more overpopulated than China, could just as easily be some bloke that works in Greggs. Or possibly it’s the drunk Santa.

Who cares? And then, at last, the lights are turned on. So what do we see? Well, I can confirm that they are in fact lights.

There’s really not much more to say. It’s the biggest anti-climax since Indiana Jones 4. The lights are exactly like Shia Labeouf - dull and underwhelming. Happy Christmas, folks!

Cable knit cardigan, H&M, £49.99

Black frill umbrella, River Island,

£16.99

Fancy shipskin slipper, Urban Outfitters, £35

Bird watch, Urban Outfitters, £24

Rose red cushion cover, H&M, £7.99 Xmas candy cane socks, Topshop,

£3.50

Hot water bottle, Topshop, £12

Love Heart toast stamps, Joy, £6

Black leather aviator gloves, River island,

£26.99

A5 notebook, Paperchase, £6

Alexander Mcqueen:Genius of a Generation, Amazon books,

£10.99

Glass perfume bottle, Accessorize, £10 Style Me Vintage, hairstyling book, Urban Outfitters, £9.99

Bath gift set, Lush,

£5

FREE DELIVERY ON ALL UK ORDERS

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Edition 13 Answers: Across: 1. Create; 4. Trump; 8. Alter; 9. Opposed; 10. Evasive; 11. Eton; 12. Orb; 14. Date; 15. Efta; 18. Sea; 21. Tyne; 23. Setback; 25. Endorse; 26. Weird; 27 Sulky; 28. Adagio Down:1. Craven; 2. Estrada; 3. Termites; 4. Tape; 5. Upset; 6. Pedant; 7.

Rodeo; 13. Bestowed; 16. Tracing; 17. Athens; 19. Aspen; 20. Skidoo; 22.

Nadal; 24. Dray

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Down 2. Nationality of Kodaly, composer of the carol “All men draw near!” (9) 3. “Come and worship, Worship Christ, the ... ... King” (3,4) 4. An old round dance, a song of praise or joy, especially for Christmas. (5) 5. Brass instrument, the ancestor of the trombone. (7) 6. Two Turtle Dones? (5) 7. “... and Sceptre” Coronation March by William Walton. (3) 12. Level dart (anagram) (9) 14. “Veiled in flesh the ... see.” (7) 15. “A lighten to ... the Gentiles” Nunc Dimittis (7) 17. “Here is the little door, lift up the ... oh lift! We need not wander more but enter with our gift” (5) 18. Doyenne and ‘saint’ of the British kitchen and Christmas fayre in particular. (5) 21. A period of time. (3)

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CLOCKWORD

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Across 1. “...the snow lay round about, deep, and crisp, and even” (4) 4. Dr Finlay had one (8) 8. “No sins had Dor to...for: Repent of your in time” Epitaph for a Doormouse. (6) 9. Rhyming worl parlous game, sometimes played at Christmas. (6) 10. Saintly ring? (4) 11. The words of an opera or musical. (8) 13. “It came upon the ... ...”. (8,5) 16. Uncle did (anagram). (8) 19. “For he is our childhood’s pattern, day by day like us he ...”. (4) 20. “... Jesus, meek and mild, Look upon a little child” (6) 22. “But ... Lord Jesus, No crying He makes.” (6) 23. The seat of a bishop (8) 24. “... with Violin” play by Noel Coward. (4)

Quiz

Puzzle Corner

Try lots more competitions online by visiting the SU website: www.bucksstudent.com/games

The solutions from 1 to 12 are all six-letter words ending with the letter E in the centre. Moving clockwise from 1, the letters in the outer circle will spell the name of a Scottish portrait painter..

1. Modest 2. Tempt 3. Irritate 4. Spin 5. American Informally 6. Recommence 7. Take as read 8. Flight 9. Preceding 10. Bearlike 11. Poser 12. Tyro

12 11

1

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4 7

5 6

Who, what where and when?

WHO... overthrew the Girondists in the French Revolution?

WHAT... is the study of crops and soils called?

WHERE... was the capital of the Byzantine and Ottoman Empires?

WHEN... did Harold Ross found the US weekly magazine The New Yorker?

Answers: WHO: Jacobins; WHAT: Agronomy; WHERE: Istanbul; WHEN: 1925.

26 Bucks Student

Sudoku More sudoku competitions online at www.bucksstudent.com/games

Horoscopes

By Binty Buck

Difficulty depends on each sudoku rating

Taurus Apr 21 - May 21

Aries Mar 20 - Apr 20 You won’t be hospitalised today, but things may not go as planned Wearing a hat will only bring true happiness. Be cuddly today and possibly as fluffy as possible.

Leo Jul 24 - Aug 23 Exercise may seem like a dirty word, but until you lose some weight fatty, it’s the dirtiest word you’re going to hear for a long time. You are not the person you once were, try to reflect those changes in your general appearance and, please, smile for a change.

In the grand scheme of things, today rates as a 0.001.

Life and Death - bedfellows, perhaps, they are certainly close. You’d better hope that they don’t get start to get you involved in a menage a trois.

Virgo Aug 24 - Sep 23

Eggs, flour, milk, potatoes, sage and onion stuffing - these are all the ingredients you need for a happy marriage. This is not the first time you’ve been caught out. You yearn to be a farmer just so that you can be out standing in your field.

If you pick yourself up by your shoe-strings you are likely to fall flat on your arse. Harmless fun may come back to harm you over the coming weeks.

Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 20 Sagittarius Nov 23 - Dec 21 Cartoon fun can be yours if you pick up the right set

Be wary of all new friends today as they may turn out to be Russian spies, or possibly wannabe astronomers.

Praying to false gods never seemed so good after this week. You may become friends with a self-proclaimed tribal warrior named Alf.

Gemini May 22 - Jun 21

Your legs look nice today. Show them off in some kind of very short skirt that nearly shows your organybits. Yes Derek, I’m talking to you! The hospital may become a familiar place over the coming two weeks, although for what reason the mystics are surprisingly opaque.

of pencils and think really hard about drawing. Trying to make out that you’re a “surf dude” may become untenable when your fat lover walks into the office with your eight dirty children. The thought of you losing your mind is making you lose your mind.

Libra Sep 24 - Oct 23

Aquarius Jan 21 - Feb 29 “I breed germs” is not a good way to answer the company telephone. Even if your company is called “I Breed Germs”. The loony-left is a phrase that you quite like. The number I am thinking of is 12. This is not the number you are thinking of, especially if you are not thinking of a number.

Give us your feedback

Difficulty: Adavanced

Difficulty: Easy

Fill in the grid so that every column, row and 3 by 3 square includes all of the digits from one to nine.

Difficulty: Intermediate

Sudoku was popularized in 1986 by the Japanese puzzle company Nikoli, under the name Sudoku, meaning single number. It became an international hit in 2005.

Cancer Jun 22 - Jul 23 Laughter will help you today, especially if you want to avoid crying. There is a lot of anger in your brain.

Douse it with cool, flavoursome beer. All the email addresses in the world won’t make up for the fact that you are socially retarded.

Scorpio Oct 24 - Nov 22 Gun crime is said to be rising around the country.

Political statistics may become important for you today, watch out for bullet-shaped objects. For what it’s worth, today is going to be very short. Which is a very good thing for you.

Pisces Feb 20 - Mar 20 You must relax more, take long walks and fill the bath up really full so that you can soak those weary limbs.

The government will not allow you to do what you want.

Let us know how we are doing!

Where: Blackboard When: 1-17 December

WOMEN’S FASHION A WOMAN’S GUIDE TO WINTER ESSENTIALS.

Pink earrings, Dorothy Perkins, £8.50

27 Bucks Student

Embellished top, New Look,

Cardigan, H&M, £24.99

£25

Beaded cardigan, Joy, £50

Black lace evening dress, Love Label at Very, £49.99

Lace top evening dress, Joy,

£50

Grey hareen trousers, River Island, £29.99 Shell clutch bag, New Look, Black evening dress, Monsoon, £65.00

Bronze satin evening dress, H&M, £29.99

MEN’S FASHION A MAN’S GUIDE TO WINTER ESSENTIALS.

Mens brown ethnic belt, belt Zara,

£25.99

Grey Cashmere sweater sweater,, Uniqlo, £24.99

£15.99

Chunky knitwear jumper jumper, Topman, £38.00

Navy xmas socks,, Topman, £3

Corduroy shirt, Burton,

Striped long-sleeve top top, H&M, £6.99

£28.00

Mens champagne paisley bow tie, Topman, £10

Knitted jumper with collar, H&M, £19.99 Skinny carrot trousers, Topman, £36.00

28 Bucks Student

RECIPES

Pour a little warmed brandy round the dish and light before bringing to table

By Tanya Virdy

Indian starters for the festive season It’s that time of year where family and friends are around for the festive season.

So you’re preparing that very special Christmas dinner with turkey, trimmings, brussel sprouts and gravy. Wouldn’t it be nice to add some starters, that you wouldn’t usually see on a Christmas

menu?

Samosas!!! They are those delightful tasty little savory patties with a choice of fillings. That’s the beauty; you can make samosas in so many different ways. You can add your very own signature to a time honored basic samosa recipe.

Ingredients for pastry 225g of plain flour 2 tablespoons of salt 2 tablespoons of vegetable oil 80ml of warm water

Samosas Method:

Serve with coriander, mint chutney or even tomato ketchup

1. Mix the flour and salt in a bowl. Make a ‘well’ in the centre and add the oil and enough water to make a firm dough. Knead the dough on a floured surface until smooth and roll into a ball.

2. Cover the dough in plastic wrap and set aside at room temperature for around 30 minutes.

3. Divide the pastry into 12 equal pieces. Roll each piece into a ball and out into a circle of around 15 cm. Divide this circle into two equal pieces with a knife.

4. Brush each edge with a little water and form a cone shape around your fingers, sealing the dampened edge.

Method for filling Method: (Whatever filling you decide to add just follow this standard recipe).

1. Heat the oil in a frying pan, add onions and garlic.

2. Mix in the spices and fry until the onions appear to be soft. Add the vegetables or meat, seasoning and stir well until coated.

3. Followed by the stock, cover and simmer for 30 minutes until cooked.

4. Fill the cases with a tablespoon of your chosen mixture and press the two dampened edges together to seal the top of the cone. Deep fry the samosas in hot oil until crisp and brown take out and drain on a paper towel.

Pakora filling 1 cup Chickpea Flour (Besan) 2 tablespoons of oil 1 tablespoon of ground Cumin ½ tablespoon of Salt 2 small green chili’s chopped ½ a cup of water 1 potato 1 small Cauliflower 2 Cabbage’s

Variations on fillings

1 Potato finely diced (5 to 10 mill cubes) 1 carrot finely diced (5 to 10 mill cubes) 2 cloves of crushed garlic 1 Onion finely chopped 1 Cup of frozen peas 1 tablespoon of vegetable oil 2 tablespoon of curry powder or your own spices according to taste Salt & Pepper, again according to taste 100ml of vegetable stock.

Beef filling 1 Potato finely diced (5 to 10 mill cubes) 1 carrot finely diced (5 to 10 mill cubes) 2 cloves of crushed garlic 1 Onion finely chopped 1 Cup of frozen peas 1 tablespoon of vegetable oil 2 tablespoon of curry powder or your own spices according to taste Salt & Pepper, again according to taste 100ml of vegetable stock.

1 shot, 2 shot, 3 shot, floor!

Squashed frog

Skittles

Cement Mixer

Tastes better than it looks!

The new jagerbomb!

Not for the faint hearted!

• 3rd Baileys at the bottom • 3rd Grenadine in the middle • 3rd Midori at the top

• 1 shot Cointreu • Half a can of Red Bull

• 1 shot Baileys • 1 Shot Lime cordial

Simply drop the shot into the Red Bull and down it! desperate urge for sweets may follow!

Drink the 2 shots at the same time: it makes the Baileys harden, may not sound nice but it’s a proper laugh!

Pour each ingredient slowly onto the back of a spoon into a shot glass.

Dark Christmas Pudding There is nothing more special at Christmas but pudding. This recipe will have your guests asking for seconds!

Method:

1.Wash the currants and raisins and dry thoroughly.

2. Sift the flour, salt and spices into a large mixing bowl. Stir in the margarine, breadcrumbs and sugar.

3. Chop and mix together the currants, raisins, cherries, almonds. Stir these into the prepared dry ingredients.

4. Beat the orange juice with the eggs and vanilla essence and pour into the bowl.

5. Add the treacle and brandy and mix until thoroughly blended.

6. Turn the mix over into a greased pudding basin. Cover the basin securely with double thickness of grease paper and tie securely. Place in a pressure cooker and cook till done.

7.When ready, remove the cover and replace with fresh greaseproof paper. Store in a cool, dry, dark place.

8. To serve, steam the pudding again. Turn out into a hot dish.

Cocktails The kiss-and-tell of cocktails which is sure to create an ‘under-cover’ scandal...just make sure your sheets are clean!

Veggie filling Lamb filling 1 Potato finely diced (5 to 10 mill cubes) 1 carrot finely diced (5 to 10 mill cubes) 2 cloves of crushed garlic 1 Onion finely chopped 1 Cup of frozen peas 1 tablespoon of vegetable oil 2 tablespoon of curry powder or your own spices according to taste Salt & Pepper, again according to taste 100ml of vegetable stock.

300 grams of currants 300 grams of raisins 120 grams of plain flour 1 tablespoon of salt 1 tablespoon of ground ginger 1 tablespoon of grated nutmeg 1 tablespoon of grounded cinnamon and cloves 240 grams of Margarine 120 grams of fresh breadcrumbs 120 grams of sugar 60 grams of glace cherries 60 grams of almonds Blanched Juice of 1 orange 2 Eggs 1 tablespoon of vanilla essence 6 tablespoon of black treacle 1 tablespoon of brandy

Between the sheets

Chicken filling Vegetable 500g of minced Chicken 1 onion 2 cloves of garlic crushed 1 teaspoon of curry powder ½ teaspoon of chili powder 1 teaspoon of ground turmeric ½ teaspoon of ground roasted cumin seeds 1 fresh chili diced 1 tablespoon of chopped mint or coriander ½ tablespoon of fresh grated ginger Salt and ground pepper to taste Juice of half a lemon

Ingredients

• 3/4oz. Rum • 3/4 oz. triple sec or Cointreu • 3/4 oz. brandy • Juice of half a lemon Shake all ingredients with ice in a shaker. Strain into a sugar rimmed cocktail glass and garnish with a lemon twist..

Snowball A Christmas favourtie • 2oz. Advocaat • 1/2oz Lime juice • Lemonade Mix all ingreients in a shaker, pour into a glass and add crushed ice.

By Sarah O Brien

Why Santa has a naughty list This drink will guarentee a bag of coal under the tree this Christmas!

• 1oz. Amaretto • 1oz. Gin • 1oz. Banana Liquer • 1/2 oz. Grenadine • Sprite Add Gin and Amaretto to a Collins glas filled with ice.

Fill almost full with sprite.

Add Grenadine slowly, then layer Banana liquer on top.

Mistletoe Hoping to get lucky this Christmas? This tipple will be a great start to getting your mistletow kiss!

• 1oz. Gin • 1oz. Grenadine • 1tsp Lemon juice Shake all ingredients with ice then strain into a cocktail glass.

29 Bucks Student

HOW TO PARTY AND STAY SAFE STUDENT SURVIVAL GUIDE - COPING WITH COUGHS, COLDS AND MAN FLU. It’s the season to be jolly and many of us will be going out partying. However it’s important to follow a few simple rules so that the worse that happens to you is that you wake up with a bit of a hangover.

Before you go out: DON’T Throw loads of drinks down you to get in the mood. It may take an hour or so before the alcohol starts to kick in and you are already piling more on top! It’s better to take it gently and enjoy the whole night and not end up throwing up and lying in the road.

DO Work out how you are getting home, book a taxi, or check the times of the buses, trains and check your mobile has credit and is charged up.

Drinks: Drink spiking does happen so NEVER leave your drink unattended! Even if you’re just nipping to the loo, or off for a quick dance, it takes seconds to spike a drink. Date Rape drugs are often clear, tasteless liquids.

Try to drink some water during the night.

Have a designated drink watcher; take it in turns to look after drinks, handbags and so on.

Drugs: You may be a user of party drugs. But be aware at Christmas there is an increase in dodgy drugs out there. The Christmas party is not a good time to start experimenting with illegal drugs. If you can have a really good time drinking like you normally do, why take the risk of the unknown?

People you know.. and people you don’t: By far the largest numbers of sex attacks are committed by someone you know and guys get raped too! When you all get wasted together, one of your friend’s mates gets the wrong idea – this is what happens, and if you’re too drunk to say “NO” you’re in trouble.

Everyone you don’t know is a stranger, and it would be impossible to make new friends and relationships if we avoided them all. But be

FOOTBALL

JOLLIFFE HAT-TRICK SECURES CUP VICTORY

By Gary Anderson

RUGBY

aware that alcohol lowers your inhibitions, so you may be more likely to reveal all to someone you really regret in the morning. Take a couple of seconds to think –it is better safe than sorry.

If a hot guy is good enough, he’ll wait for you to call later in the week.

Christmas Sex: It could be an office party, or that guy you’ve had your eye on all year...Christmas spirit often brings romantic liaisons! If you’re sure you want to do it, and you’re sure the time is right, and you’re sure you can trust them be prepared for it and have a condom with you. Condoms are one of the most important party accessories. Have unprotected sex and you may get a whole lot more for Christmas than you wished for!

Smoking: If you’re nipping out for a fag, try and use designated smoking areas that are well lit and supervised. Go out with a friend rather than by yourself. When you do go outside, try and take your drink with you. If this isn’t allowed, leave it with someone you absolutely trust. Perhaps have a ciggie in between drinks.

If you think one of your mates drink has been spiked: If one of your mates feels funny, it’s important to act quickly. Inform a member of staff that you need help. Get them to a safe place, away from the noise and flashing lights. It may be heat, too much alcohol, or exhaustion. But if in doubt and your mate is in a bad way call an ambulance.

Need more help and Advice?

If you would like to discuss any of the above or you need any help and advice about anything else then we are here to help. Please do not hesitate to contact us.

Bucks SU Advice Centre High Wycombe Ground Floor, North Block Tel: 01494 603016 Uxbridge - Room 1.02 Tel: 01494 605180 Or email suadvice@bucks.ac.uk

A HAT-TRICK from Dom Jolliffe helped to propel the Bucks Men’s 2nds into the next round of the BUSSA Cup on Wednesday 3rd November. Further strikes from Luke Nixon-O’Neill and Jack Edmeads secured a 5-1 victory against Brunel University 5ths, at Magnolia Park.

Bucks came into the game full of confidence following another 5-1 victory in their previous outing against Imperial College 2nds. The first 20 minutes saw the home side dominate possession with chances for Tom Grevatt and Dom Jolliffe before Ben Turner came close with a header that cannoned off the woodwork. Brunel weathered the early storm and began to threaten at the other end and on the half-hour mark took a shock lead. The Bucks defence was caught out by a ball through the middle and ‘keeper Tom Durrell was beaten by a smart finish low to the corner.

The home side appeared frustrated at this point, trailing in a game that they were

IT SAPS your strength and drains your will to carry on.

Unpleasant and annoying, it can often result in a feeling of misery and despair. No, not Monday morning lectures… it’s the annual bout of winter germs of course. Like the disease equivalent of daddy longlegs, it spreads across campus every autumn, leaving more students bed bound than a night of half priced drinks at the union. So, if – like me – you’re suffering, here are few tips to help you avoid becoming a victim next time around.

Frat house: If you do insist on partying in a toga (also known as a – hopefully – clean bed sheet) then chances are you’ll catch a bug. Don’t get me wrong, Frat house is great.

What’s not to love about Beer pong and keg stands? In fact – speaking as someone with an American father – I’ve always harboured a secret suspicion that, had I been bought up in America and been named Tiffany, I would have been a statuesque blonde cheerleader rather than a 5’3 brunette.

Plus, American TV shows depicting college life, have left us all with unrealistic visions of sun drenched campuses and endless dorm parties. Anyway, my point is this: We don’t live in California; we live in High Wycombe – a place I strongly suspect Noah may have visited before he decided to build that ark. Battling through monsoon style weather in a toga is like putting out the welcome mat for germs. At the risk of sounding like my mother, “you’ll catch your death in that!”

So, unless you’re from Newcastle, (where they view coats the way Jeremy Kyle views the jobless) then do yourself a favour and wrap up.

Healthy eating: Ok, so I sound like my mother again, but eating well at university isn’t as easy as it sounds. Though there is no mention of it in the tourist brochures, High Wycombe is famous for its copious supply of Kebab vans.

Like the mobile food equivalent of vampires, these pita pushers surface after dark and prey on the weak (hungry) and vulnerable (drunk). Even ignoring the ease and convenience of fast food, it’s tough to eat well on a budget. Who wants to pay for salad ingredients when you can get a burger from McDonalds for £2? Still, taking care to eat well at university

dominating in terms of possession. Jack Edmeads replaced the injured Michael Chard on 38 minutes, and five minutes later the substitute found Dom Ollney in space outside the opposition box. Ollney slotted a great ball into the path of striker Jolliffe, who drilled a left footed shot into the net via a slight deflection off a Brunel defender.

That goal just before the break proved to be crucial for Rob Hewitt’s men, as they came out for the second half with renewed confidence. Ten minutes into the second period that confidence was rewarded. Ollney linked up well with Dom Parrella down the right and whipped over a cross. Jolliffe got ahead of his man before controlling the ball then cleverly flicking it over the defender and volleying home for a superb goal. Bucks boss, Hewitt, brought on George Cocks and Dave Newton for Ollney and Grevatt on the hour mark, to add some fresh legs. This was after Edmeads had seen his spot-kick hit the post, following a cynical challenge in the box.

is a smart investment. You’ll save a fortune on cough and cold remedies and you won’t have the expense of paying for a crane to hoist you from your reinforced bed when your course finishes. And before you ask; drinking a cider whilst eating a beef and tomato pot noodle does not provide you with two of your five a day.

Alcohol: Encouraging students to avoid alcohol is like telling Jordan to lay off the fake tan; basically, a pointless exercise. So, with this in mind, I won’t tell you not to drink – that would be rather hypocritical wouldn’t it? I will however say that vodka isn’t a cure for colds and flu. In fact, the effects of each are eerie in their similarities; a pounding headache, aversion to natural light and a general feeling of roughness, both are likely to leave you bed ridden and unable to attend lectures. Yes, it’s tempting to believe that Sambuca shots will heal you (we’re students; we are to alcohol, what sob stories are to X-Factor contestants) but trust me when I tell you that alcohol is not the student version of Popeye’s spinach.

Springing from your sick bed and yelling, “I needs me alcohol” is less likely to banish your flu and more likely to get you carted off to the nearest AA meeting.

Lack of sleep: It’s a well-known fact that the moment you become a student you take on all the traits of a nocturnal animal; sleeping throughout the day, becoming active at night, foraging for food under the cover of darkness, (kebab anyone?) The problem with this new nocturnal lifestyle (apart from the threat of rickets) is that your immune system doesn’t like it. Like a disgruntled tube worker, this overworked and underappreciated system packs up its things and goes on strike. The result of this treacherous desertion is often a nasty case of the flu. Unfortunately, sleeping during lectures is not the answer (well, not unless your long term career goal involves hair nets and the phrase, “do you want fries with that?”) So, what’s the solution? Obviously the simple answer would be to get more sleep, but failing that you could always try being nicer to your immune system. (See healthy eating) You’ve already alienated your liver…why make any more internal enemies. By Siobhan Carney

The Bucks boys were turning on the style, with captain Luke Nixon-O’Neill and Mike Humphreys bossing midfield. Edmeads and Parrella were attacking at will down the flanks. The inevitable third goal arrived following some great link-up play between Nixon-O’Neill and flying full-back Shazz Hussein who squared for Edmeads to finish off a scintillating move.

Then, Humphreys came tantalizingly close to a deserved goal but seen his downward header loop up over the crossbar before Nixon-O’Neill and Hussein linked up again, this time the full-back shot just over from a tight angle.

Moments later, the ball broke to NixonO’Neill on the edge of the area following good battling by Jolliffe. He evaded the defender’s challenge and almost Zidanelike, floated a sumptuous lob beyond the outstretched arms of the Brunel ‘keeper, to give his side a three goal advantage.

Five minutes later, Jolliffe completed his

hat-trick in style. Parrella turned his man inside-out down the left flank, before rolling the ball to the edge of the box for Jolliffe to clip a beautiful, curling, left-footed effort into the top corner.

Parrella came close in the final stages with a great effort that was flicked over by the opposition ‘keeper, who, seconds later, could only stand and watch as Humphreys rattled the woodwork again with a pile-driver from 18 yards out. Soon after, the referee blew his whistle to end the misery for the visiting Brunel side.

After the game, manager Rob Hewitt, had this to say; ‘’it was like chalk and cheese out there today. First half we struggled, they put us under pressure and we couldn’t settle. Second half, once we got the second goal, we relaxed and played some really good stuff. Overall, I’m very happy, although, we got little things to work on in training, judging by our first half performance’’.

Man of the Match: Dom Jolliffe

BUCKS RUGBY SHOWING GREAT PROGRESS

The 3rd of November saw Bucks men’s rugby return to Brighton for the 2nd time within two weeks but this time in the BUCS knockout cup rather than the south east conference 2A league competition.

The previous encounter resulted in a 52-12 defeat for Bucks. The player’s response to this defeat was crucial for how the rest of their season would pan out.

The committee made the decision that rather than make the 80mile trip in the university minibus it would be more beneficial to the team to travel on a 52 seater coach. With the added bonus that the 2nd team had no fixture that day and would be able to travel with the team to support them.

It was a sunny yet windy day down in Brighton and the team arrived with plenty of time to prepare themselves. Bucks had a slightly stronger team than the previous

encounter with Adam Harris and Dan Sumnall returning from injury and Tom Blackburn returning from international duty with Belgium U19 at the European championships.

The game started and it was clear that Brighton had underestimated the Buck’s team and were on the back foot as they couldn’t deal with Bucks strong runs and quick style of play. A quick change of direction saw Sumnall pop to Harris down the blindside to put the Brighton players on the back foot and quick recycling gave fly half Matt Gilbert good quick ball. Slick hands saw winger George Yates with space in front of him to run, a strong run from him resulted in him being tackled in the corner just 5 yards from the Brighton try line. Pressure on the Brighton lineout ended in a knock-on and a scrum for Bucks.

Number 8 Simon Hawkin picked

and was tackled just inches from the line, the forwards proceed to clear the ruck and hooker Tom Blackburn picked the ball up at the base and his strength was just too much for the Brighton defence and scored the first try of the game, the conversion was missed.

Brighton then started to add their own pressure to the Buck’s defence which resulted in a penalty for Brighton to which their kicker stepped up and slotted between the posts. With Brighton now starting to build constant pressure the Bucks defence was severely under the cosh and again they conceded a penalty within their own half to which the Brighton kicker did not hesitate to step up to make the game 6-5 to Brighton at half time.

At half time the Bucks players realised they had a chance of winning the game and that the

previous encounter two weeks ago was long forgotten. Spirits were high at the start of the 2nd half and with blind side flanker Jack Sheppard disrupting the Brighton lineout the Buck’s players knew they had them on the back foot. Again Buck’s quick style of play and the referee’s variable interpretation of the law lead to a Buck’s penalty and we proceeded to kick the ball into the corner knowing full well this was one of Buck’s strongest parts of the game. The Brighton forwards could not withstand the catch and drive lineout. Prop Nick Todd and second row Sam Churchyard lead the charge allowing Tom Blackburn to fall over the line for his 2nd try of the game, the conversion was missed making the score 10-6 to Bucks.

Brighton responded well again and started to build phases together

and again this lead to another penalty to Brighton and right on cue their kicker stepped up and sent it straight through the posts making it 10-9 to Bucks. With the game so close the pressure began to build again for us resulting in a penalty to Brighton and a yellow card for Adam Harris for persistent team offences at the break down, Brighton capitalised on the one man advantage and scored a try which replacement scrum half Ben Hardy could not even stop whilst injuring himself in the corner trying to save the try, the conversion was missed.

Brighton were then gifted another penalty inside their own half which their kicker put away making the score 10-17. Captain Craig Webb then rallied his troops and with 15 players back on the pitch knew this was not game over. The forwards again showed their dominance in

By Adam Harris the game whilst carrying the ball forward and securing it well. After around 10 phases Bucks found themselves in the dying seconds of the game on the Brighton try line knowing they were only going to leave the opposition line with a try. Out of nowhere Craig Webb popped up through the middle of the ruck and took everyone by surprise and dived over the line giving Bucks the try they duly deserved. Unfortunately the kicked was missed by stand-in kicker Tom Willmington.

Despite losing, Bucks were the team that came out of the game with the most; they had turned themselves around from the previous week and shown true determination and will power to each other to give Brighton a wake up call for when they visit Bucks in the return fixture in the league.

30 Bucks Student

Management Speak

By Gary Anderson “The thing about Scholesy is that he doesn’t need legs.

He’s never had any legs.

That’s the beauty of his game and how he plays. He uses his head’’.

Ex- England manager Glenn Hoddle, summing up the Manchester United midfielder’s playing style.

Presumably, Scholes can lay claim to having the strongest neck muscles in world football judging by the way he sprays 60 yard passes all over the pitch.

“The young players think they have won something in football because they have two cell phones and a house.

They have no education at all and I don’t want to listen to them. I don’t want a young player to ask me ‘why did you do that?’ in the dressing room. I would punch them because I have won 13 titles in my career.”

Carlos Tevez, Manchester City captain, refutes claims of dis-harmony among players at Eastlands.

“I’ll piss on their a***crack.”

Montpellier president Louis Nicollin gets slightly ‘pee-ved’ at suggestions that his club’s success this season is down to how poor the French League has become.

“Nowadays you have a game Saturday, Tuesday, Saturday, Tuesday. There’s no room in that time-frame to go out on the lash and get smashed, the way you used to.”

Rio Ferdinand laments the pressures of being a pro. Poor lad....!

“I don’t want to seem like a dinosaur but I think the modern game is full of players who are of the ‘softer option’ when it comes to playing football’’.

Ex-Chelsea striker, Tony Cascgarino. The former hard-man once spent a couple of seasons playing for French club ‘Nancy’!!

“As a player I think I’m close to being as complete as I can be. Now I can say I’m one of the top players in the world.”

Manchester United’s, Portuguese winger, Nani. Yes he really did say that!!!

“I am happy you’re gone, psychic octopus, it’s your fault we lost the World Cup.” Diego Maradonna dances on the watery grave of Paul the Octopus.

LADIE’S HOCKEY Royal Holloway.....................................................

Bucks Ladies Hockey.........................................

With a slow start to the game Buck’s Ladies Hockey were looking the stronger team.

With a short corner being awarded to Royal Holloway not long into the game, Bucks found themselves 1-0 down; they put this set back behind them and continued playing in a strong and confident manner, going in only 1-0 down at halftime.

During the second half Bucks put up a fight but were starting to tire and with only 1 sub, due to lack of transport injured and worn out players, were having to continue playing. Bucks had some good opportunities but were unable to finish and get the goal that they deserved. It then became 2-0 though nothing more than tiredness or injuries

2 0

could be blamed, Bucks defenders were unable to beat the Royal Holloway players back to stop the strike, which doubled their lead. Royal Holloway were strong on the attack but with Daisy Bodewes putting in a superb display in goal, they were unable to up the score.

Hopefully in the next upcoming game, the Bucks Ladies Hockey team will have their full squad and be able to get back up the table. The Ladies hockey team would like to thank those who came to support and especially to Joe Daniel and Vicky Elliott for driving some of the girls up, without them Bucks wouldn’t have been able to play.

There are more fixtures scheduled, and support is always welcome.

MEN’S HOCKEY

Matt ‘hatrick’ Dawkin Bucks New Uni (Wycombe 7’s)..........................

Marlow 3’s...............................................................

Buckinghamshire New University Men’s hockey team, playing as High Wycombe hockey club in their Saturday league continued their rich vain of form against third placed Marlow. Bucks attacked from the off putting Marlow on the back foot and landing an early goal through Matt Dawkin. This however did not put Marlow down and they soon scored with penalty corner. A second corner followed and Marlow

7 4

went 2-1 up. Bucks continued to attack and eventually feeding the ball through to Wednesday goalkeeper come Saturday striking supremo Joe Daniel how calmly put the ball in the back of the net. Bucks then took the lead via a superb Robbie Leung goal sending Bucks into half time with a 3-2 lead.

Shortly after the break Marlow clawed in back to 3-3 before Matt Dawkin gave Bucks the lead for the second time with

a tap past the keeper. Marlow would equalize one more time before the Bucks defence led by Man of the Match Rich Johnson closed up shop and the attack opened up the flood gates on Marlow and bagged a further three goals; one from Robbie Leung from the penalty spot, one from Joe Daniel and a final one from Matt Dawkin to complete a well deserved hat trick.

By Marcus Claytor

NETBALL

MEN’S BASKETBALL

defence awards “We will provide you with an Strong Bucks the win electrical game” Bucks Men’s Basketball 1st........................................ 56 Essex Men’s Basketball 2nd....................................... 59 After the disappointment of the previous week’s game being called off, there was a feeling of optimism throughout the team as they warmed up in front of a good sized crowd which had turned out to support the team in their first cup match. To add an extra incentive to the team, the university cheerleader team were there to boost morale further.

Within the 1st quarter, there was some unsurprising nervousness around the team, due to it being their first outing of the season, and this showed. However, towards the end of the quarter, the team seemed to get into their stride, and settle down and perform well, finishing with the score at Bucks 12- 13 Essex.

Bucks fielded a completely fresh team at the beginning of the 2nd quarter. With the reshuffle, it changed the complete dynamic of the team, and Essex used this to their advantage, as the stole a small lead and made it 21-14. A time out was called in the hope an inspiring team talk would send the team out to make a difference and try and get back into the game. A definite improvement in mentality could be seen, however the Essex team pressed on and put Bucks on the defensive.

Essex continued to press on in the 3rd quarter, cracks now appearing in the defence which had previously held out so well, however, as it was the first outing of the season for the team, it was not surprising.

During the final quarter the team really started to get a rhythm, and pulled the score back to 55-55.

Another inspiring team talk was given to try and take the lead, however, they couldn’t take the lead, as in the final minutes Essex replied and made it Bucks 56-59 Essex.

Chairman Adam Blaynee was happy with the overall performance and positive showing by the team ‘Overall I was more than happy with the team. As I said it was a new team and there was bound to be some teething problems. At the end of the day we didn’t lose by that much and Essex was a good opponent to face. ‘ The information we gained about the team was more than enough to move on and prepare for our next game. This information will be invaluable in helping us to win the league. The more people that come to the games the more we will have to play for so please make the effort to support the team and we will provide you with an electric game.’

Bucks Netball 2nd........................................ 26 Roehampton 2nd......................................... 19

By Rachel Fry The game started off with Roehampton leading 5-3 after the first quarter and was a battle most of the way through. In the past 3 years the 2nd team have never beaten Roehampton so to beat their 2nd team was an achievement in itself, especially considering the small time period we’ve been playing together for.

Shooting from Joanne Heppell and Robyn Saunders was amazing with them barely missing a goal between them. Defence worked strongly together with mid court to prevent Roehampton keeping the lead resulting in a brilliant win from us. Everyone played exceptionally well and kept it together the whole way through the game to land us second place in the league at the moment.

Another Bucks win

By Rachel Fry Another win for Bucks netball 2nds, beating portsmouth 6th 32-28. The fantastic win means were through to the 3rd leg of the cup knocking Portsmouth out. The game was close throughout, first quarter being 10-10 and by the third quarter was 24 all.

Shooting was fantastic from Joanne Heppell and Robyn Saunders with them barely missing a shot. Defence

and centre court helped prevent Portsmouth catching up with our lead. Bucks 2nd showed how much they have improved from last year by showing they can beat a team they lost against last year who are a league above them. Currently 2nd in the league, if we carry on playing as well as we have we have a great chance of winning the league!

31 Bucks Student

GOLF

Bucks 1st Vs Bucks 2nd Bucks 1st.......................................

Bucks 2nds...................................

3 1/2 2 1/2

IT WAS the first derby of the new season and was scheduled to be a great match, the build up was intense and the two people who knew it more were the two captains Jack Wheatley and Mike Bristow.

The 1st team started this season strong by winning the first two matches against Hertfordshire and Brighton and was adamant to keep a clean record.

The 2nds had momentum after beating Brunel University the previous week.

So the stage was set...

In the first match it saw Captain Jack Wheatley versus Josh Worrall whilst Richard Craven squared off against Jake Taylor, both matches didn’t disappoint. Richard craven started off with five birdies in the first six holes giving him a comfortable lead something he didn’t relinquish and ended up beating Jake 5 & 4. Jack and Josh had a very up and down match taking it all the way down to 18th, were josh stole the match with a winning birdie. After these first matches both teams had one point each.

The fresher’s this year have been very impressive for both teams and this was their biggest match to date, Melisa McMahon and Tom Owen represented the first team in the second match playing against Steff Duffy and 2nd year Matty Warr. Both matches started off convincingly but Tom Owen played consistently to beat Steff 4 & 3. Matty Warr beat Melissa keeping his 100% winning record this year by beating her the same 4 & 3.

At this point both teams had 2 points each it and it

By Ben Pritchard Golf President/Chairman

came down to the last match, to see who would win the derby. Paul Hopkins for the 2’s played Oli Hayes who has been one of the most solid performers this year and proved it when he needed by beating Paul 3 & 1.

The last match, Captain Mike Bristow playing Luke Ryan.

The result of this match determined if it was a draw for both teams or a win for the 1st. Mike played a solid round of golf being up in the match through 16 holes, he needed to win to force a draw. Up step Luke Ryan, he played his way back into the match by smashing a birdie down the 17th and forcing a par down 18 to half the match thus resulting in the first team winning the overall match 3 1/2 - 2 1/2.

This was an epic match something I think both teams will remember when they have to play each other again later on in the season with scores to be settled. The first team now will travel to Brunel University still with a unbeaten record intact and the second team will play Hertfordshire at home and build on this defeat.

Football Festivities Christmas is a time for good will and peace for all. However with football managers hating the festive period due to the avalanche of fixtures, it seems strange how once upon a time football brought everyone together.

Back in the First World War, on Christmas Eve and Christmas day in 1914, and 1915, British and German troops positioned along the western front put all hostilities aside and undertook in a spot of football between each other. Bertie Felstead, who sadly passed away in 2001,

was believed to be the last survivor to have taken part in the Christmas truce, gained a celebrity status towards his final years of his life as his participation in the 1915 kick around on ‘no man’s land’ became legendary.

‘It wasn’t a game as such, more of a kick around and a free-for-all. There could have been 50 on each side for all I know. I played because I really liked football. I don’t know how long it lasted, probably half an hour.’

(Felstead-1894-2001) Felstead was thought to be

Free Cash machine on campus

wadiehs corner Vice President Student Involvement // vpsi@bucks.ac.uk

The Good, The Bad & The Ugly I WILL be in Cafe Direct from 12-2pm all next week to get your feedback on your 1st term this academic year.

As one of your sabbatical officers I am here to get things done for you, and make your voices heard.

So don’t be shy. Any problems with your course, uni life, the Students Union good or bad let me know about it.

If you cant but have something you want to rant or rave about, feel drop me an email at sam.wadieh@bucks.ac.uk.

of the quickest PDQ machines available, meaning quick transactions for you the students. If you spend more than £5 in one transaction there is no charge, less than £10 incurs a 50p charge.

The 50p charge is in place because the bank charges us a transaction fee because we don’t do lots of card transactions. So instead of raising drinks prices to cover this, the fee hits those using the service instead of everyone.

I am keeping an eye on cash machine usage numbers and hopefully in a couple of years we will be in a place to install a free cash machine!

Make sure you are getting involved WE ARE coming up to the end of the 1st term of the academic year. I hope you have managed to get involved with us the Students Union so far in one way or another.

Be it through coming to an event or club night in the SU bars, playing for one of our many sports teams, recreational activities, volunteering, RAG events, being a member of a society or going on the march to London to protest against cuts in Higher Education.

Below are a few of the recreational activities planned for next term. Come in and see one of us in the Student

WEDNESDAY 3RD NOVEMBER MEN’S BADMINTON Uni of Portsmouth 2nd 5-3 Bucks 1st (cup) LADIE’S BASKETBALL Uni of Chichester 1st 25-17 Bucks 1st MEN’S FOOTBALL Bucks 1st 2-2 University of Essex 1st Bucks 2nd 5-1 Brunel University 5th (cup) Bucks 3rd 0-5 Uni of Brighton 4th (cup) London Sch of Eco 3rd 2-1 Bucks 5th (cup) King’s College, London KCLMS 2nd 1-3 Bucks 6th (cup) MEN’S FOOTBALL (SESSA) Bucks 1st 4-4 Queens School GOLF Bucks 1st 3.5-2.5 Bucks 2nd LADIE’S HOCKEY Canterbury Christ Church Uni 1st 20-0 Bucks 1st (cup) MEN’S HOCKEY Bucks 1st 4-0 King’s College 1st NETBALL Bucks 1st 55-16 St Barts & the Royal L’don 2nd (cup) MEN’S RUGBY Uni of Brighton 1st 17-15 Bucks 1st (cup) LADIE’S RUGBY University of Reading 1st 38-25 Bucks 1st MEN’S SQUASH Bucks 1st 0-5 Royal Holloway 1st (cup) WEDNESDAY 17TH NOVEMBER FOOTBALL Bucks 1st 1-2 University of Brighton 2nd Bucks 3rd 1-4 Roehampton University 2nd Bucks 4th 2-1 Kingston University 2nd London School of Eco 3rd 3-1 Bucks 6th GOLF Brunel University 1st 1-5 Bucks 1st MEN’S HOCKEY Imp College, London 2nd 3-3 Bucks 1st MEN’S RUGBY Bucks1st 17-12 St George’s Hosp Med 1st Bucks 2nd 46-0 St George’s Hosp Med 2nd MEN’S TENNIS Bucks 1st 2-10 Roehampton University 2nd WEDNESDAY 24TH NOVEMBER

the last surviving participant, until after his death, Alfred Anderson, who was also on the western front at the same time, was discovered to still be alive.

Anderson sadly died four years later in 2005.

For some reason however, I can’t see current day football players and fans calling a truce over this Christmas period.

With title winning points at stake, competition will be as fierce as ever. One thing’s for sure though, we can look forward to seeing all the novelty Santa Claus’ in the stands on match of the day.

ONE of my pledges when I got voted in was to push for a free cash machine on site for you the students.We approached a number of banks and were met with the same reply multiple times; we don’t get enough numbers using our cash machine over the years to benefit them.

So as an alternative to give you free access to your cash, what we have done is installed Chip & Pin machines behind our bars. This will enable you to buy drinks on a night out without incurring the £1.25 charge on the cash machine.

The chip and pin machines we have are some

RESULTS

Activities team or email your interest to jennifer.yarrow@bucks.ac.uk who will get you signed up for it/them.

As always everything is open to all our students and free due to the Big Deal whichever campus you are based at. If you are coming over from Uxbridge get in touch with us and we will work out ways of getting you to these events if you are interested in attending.

Life Drawing classes Thorpe Park trip Wakeboarding 1st Aid Courses Cocktail Workshops

Seasonal Greetings THIS IS the last paper of the term and of 2010 so I hope you all have a good break, enjoy the five million amazing films they put on TV, the queens speech etc, the snow, and finally I’m really glad X-Factor is almost done and off the TV soon!! (Team Wagner!!)

But on the real, guys and girls have a Happy Christmas and Happy New Year, see you all on Monday 10th January 2011.

WADZ

Car Mechanics Workshops Singing lessons Italian lessons Spanish lessons Go Ape (Zip line activities) Theatre trips to see Mamma Mia and Wicked.

The weekly exercise classes and multisport sessions will be carrying on as usual after Christmas.

Weekly classes and multisports: yoga, boxercise, kettlebell, fitball, bucks pump, recreational badminton, tennis, basket, netball, volleyball and indoor 5aside.

FOOTBALL Uni of Greenwich 2nd 3-2 Bucks 2nd Kingston 4th 3-4 Bucks 3rd Bucks 4th 6-3 Imperial Medicals 2nd Bucks 5th 0-5 University of Essex 4th St Mary’s Uni Coll 3rd 1-1 Bucks 6th FOOTBALL (SESSA) Bedford College 0-3 Bucks 1st LADIE’S FOOTBALL Royal Free & Uni Coll Med School 1st 2-2 Bucks 1st (Bucks win on penalties) GOLF Bucks 1st 4-2 University of Portsmouth 1st Uni of Brighton 1st 1 1/2: 5 1/2 Bucks 2nd LADIE’S HOCKEY Royal Holloway 2nd 0-2 Bucks 1st NETBALL Bucks 1st 32-30 Royal Free & Uni Coll Med School 1st Bucks 2nd 32:28 Uni of Portsmouth 6th NETBALL (SESSA) Universities at Medway 44:10 Bucks 1st RUGBY Uni of Hertfordshire 2nd 5-48 Bucks 2nd LADIE’S RUGBY Bucks 1st 34:12 King’s College, L’don 1st MEN’S TENNIS Universities at Medway 1st 2-10 Bucks 1st MEN’S TABLE TENNIS Bucks 1st 0-17 London School of Eco 2nd

FIXTURES

WEDNESDAY 15TH DECEMBER FOOTBALL St Mary’s Uni College 1st V Bucks 1st Uni of Portsmouth 3rd V Bucks Uni 2nd Imperial Coll, L’don 3rd V Bucks 6th LADIES FOOTBALL Imperial Coll, L’don 1st V Bucks 1st LADIES FOOTBALL Imperial Coll, L’don 1st V Bucks 1st GOLF Bucks 2nd V University of Hertfordshire 1st RUGBY Bucks 2nd V Universities at Medway 1st MEN’S VOLLEYBALL Uni of Chichester 1st V Bucks 1st WOMEN’S VOLLEYBALL Uni of Chichester 1st V Bucks 1st

BUCKS

Everything you need to know about sports at Bucks www.bucksstudent.com/sports

SNOWSOC at BUDS 2010

By GUY DE MACEDO - SNOWSOC CHAIRMAN

November 4th was here, time for BUDS! Renowned as one of the most anticipated

student events of the year, boasting an attendance that most university lecturers would cream over, our 31 students were ready to join the other 2000 there. Dressed as tigers, we left High Wycombe, locked into a party mood.

The weekend started with the Edinburgh USSC’s Hot Pants social at Rush where we met UEA, Plymouth, Bristol, Brighton and Glasgow. With vodkas, fuesball table and punching machine our crew got a little over excited and stormed the local club scene, good effort!

Friday, 8 o’clock start for competitors with Ski + Board Slalom, Slopestyle and Big Air contests.

Supporters quickly followed, giving needed support to hungover racers by outshouting other uni’s away.

You know the Slopeside craic is at its best when the crowd is roaring non stop.

A sunny Saturday meant getting up was easier.

After Boardercross and the Ski Giant Slalom it was time for the most fun and only mixed event of the weekend: Team Duals! Teams of 5 skiers and 4 boarders and race relay style and to spice it up, rain came, making the slope ridiculously slippery. The cheering on both sides of the slope was incredible and let’s be honest, winning is always immense.

The snowboarders were unlucky on the 4th round, but they did us proud by being one of the few managing to stay on their feet. Hats off gentlemen, many others failed!

For any ski or snowboard competition to finish in style there needs to be tuxes involved. With a 3 course meal at Dynamic Earth followed by the famous Awards Ceremony and BUSC Election results announcement at Mood. Once the results got announced all 2000 students got loose, skanking the night away before going back to real life.

Bucks put in a ‘solid performance’ THIS is year is set to be another record breaker! Bucks took their largest team ever of competitors to the event with 10 competitors in all contests. On Friday, we had the Ski Slalom, Board GS finishing off with the Slopestyle Jam. The Ski Slalom proved to be a fast yet still tough course. The Board GS course was intense, tight and random rain showers only made the courses more unpredictable. For many of our competitors it was their first time competing at such a massive event and they all put down solid performances. After another epic night of partying, the competitors

First experience in SNOWSOC

By Rachel Goodwin

WHEN I arrived at the Fresher’s Fair at Bucks New Uni the last thing I expected to find was a snow sports society, as High Wycombe is somewhat lacking in snow covered mountains. The first social event was an excellent opportunity to meet a variety of people, who share a mutual interest in snow sports. Although I hadn’t skied for five years before joining Snowsoc, the club enabled me to rediscover what I’d enjoyed so much the last time I hit the slopes.

The first social, which involved wearing white t-shirts so people could graffiti you freely, turned out to be a brilliant ice-breaker with just about anyone coming over to make a contribution. It was a

rule that every member of Snowsoc must have a drink in their hand all night, and when the whistle blew that was your cue to down your drink and put your glass on your head to prove you’d completed the challenge. Another rule which fortunately I managed to avoid was if a certain word was said, you would have to ‘do your press ups’ which was chanted until they’d completed all sixteen press ups. We made our way to the Student Union where we met up with the other sports teams.

Within just two weeks we were already on our way to the indoor ski centre at Hemel Hempstead which was anything but disappointing, with real snow to recreate the experience of genuine skiing.

were up at the crack of dawn for the final events; Ski GS, Boarder X, Big Air Jam and of course the legendary duals. The Ski GS consisted of 20 gates, 5 bends, ‘a wall’ and very limited grip! However, all of our competitors fought through and completed the course in respectable times. The Boarder X course was so short it was unforgiving. It was then on to the Duals with the highlight being our Boarders making it through to the 3rd round despite the torrential Scottish rain! Great work to all of the competitors and thanks to our fellow snowsoc’ers for cheering us all the way, you were awesome!!

Since I was Rusty, I decided to take part in the lessons just so I could regain my ability to stay standing up. I was delighted when it only took a few minutes before everything I had learnt five years previously came flooding back to me. We were on the slopes for a good two hours, so we had plenty of time to enjoy the snow.

Probably the most anticipated social of the year is the initiations night, which includes a generous amount of alcohol and humiliation. The evening kicked off with everyone choosing a colour to dress in head to toe. Each team was then assigned a ‘colour daddy’ who’s responsible for what happens to the members of their team. A

By SAM WYER, RACE CAPTAIN

RESULTS SNOWBOARD GS (OUT OF 150) Guy de Macedo - 61st Rich Steele - 103rd Sean Pearce - 105th Charles Austin - 108th WOMEN’S SKI GS (OUT OF 191) Rachel Malpas - 79th MEN’S SKI GS (OUT OF 315) Sam Wyer - 9th Jon Holmes - 135th

race to finish their drink left a few with condoms around their necks, then off to Yates for over 140 Jaeger bombs to be consumed.

Although I’ve only been a member of Bucksnowsoc for just over a month, I have met a wide range of new, interesting people and rediscovered a sport I love. It’s been a great start to the term and I can’t wait for the rest of year with SnowSoc. *MAIN EVENT 2011 BOOKING NOW OPEN* For more information visit our group page on facebook or send us an email to bucksnowsoc@gmail.com.