Portrait of a Family by Moonlight

Hannah Roberts

“Go on then,” says Judith my sister, “Give us a clue.”

We’re sitting on the deck, watching the sun go down, sipping wine and eating peanuts. The peanuts are contributing greatly to the general contentment. A chance encounter with a tin of Planters roasted cocktail nuts unleashed a insatiable craving for them in my husband that subsequently spread to every member of the family. We scour the aisles of grocery stores, looking for nuts on sale and buy them eight tins at a time.

“Another name for hopscotch, five letters.” I say.

“There isn’t one,” Judith says, jabbing decisively at her embroidery with her needle. She’s making me a picture of hollyhocks because she knows one of my life goals is to grow them. You’d think I would have achieved it by now but the most I have managed is two short twisted stems and a bud. Judith’s hoping that a visual rendition will nudge the garden gods in the right direction.

“You’re right,” I say, “There isn’t one. They’re messing with us.”

“Could it be an American idiom that we just don’t know?” says Lin, our Cambodian daughter-in-law, dubiously. “Remember what happened before you knew the American meaning of “dick”?”

“Hey Zach,” Judith says to my son-in-law who is the one person present whose parents were born in the States, “What do Americans call hopscotch?”

“Dunno.” he says

“That fits,” she says, and I fill it in.

“Next clue.” says Judith.

“West coast salmon,” I say, “Hey Glyn, you like fish. What’s a four letter west coast salmon?”

“Lesser goldfinch!” says my husband. “Over there on the top of the apple tree.” He hands his binoculars to Pete, our brother-in-law, who is carefully studying the adverts in a Better Homes and Gardens magazine he has found in the bathroom.

“I think we need to go to Costco tomorrow,” Pete says, “ I need to do a bit of research on what pillows they carry. It says here that we are all using the

wrong ones for our sleeping style.”

“West coast salmon, Dad, west coast salmon,” says Owen who has been singing quietly to himself to drown out the noise of peanut chewing. It’s that or strangling us all. His wife Lin softly pats his knee.

“Coho.” says Glyn.

“Ooh!” we say excitedly, “That must be right.”

“Next one.” says Judith, “Give us one that comes off coho.”

“Amber hues.” I say, “Starts with O, sixletters.”

“Orange.” we decide.

“Can’t be right.” says Alice, “It’s not plural. Mum, you always said plural clues must have plural answers. What about ochres?”

We’re all impressed, but no one can spell it so we stick with orange.

“Here’s one for you, Alice.” says Zach peering at the crossword over my shoulder, “Rule during homework time, perhaps.” Zach likes rules, especially if he can use them to irritate his much younger sister-in-law. Alice glances up from her math book. She has been diligently drawing faces in the margins.

“Keep the cat off your computer.” she says.

“Too long.” I say, “And it starts with N.”

“Nap.” she says.

“Too short, it has four letters.” I say.

“Naps.” she says. Even Zach nods in agreement.

“Here’s one for you, Zach,” I say. “Engine need, three letters.” I know the answer is oil, but Zach likes thinking about engines. He’s putting a new one in his ancient VW van. He has all his tools laid out in shiny rows in the garage in order of size.

“Mine needs a new starter motor.” he says ignoring the three letter part. We all log that away for his next birthday.

“Repairs.” says Pete, who likes engines too, “My engine always needs repairs, which reminds me: when we go to Costco tomorrow I must check out whether they sell electric bikes. I need to do some research on electric bikes.”

“Yellow-breasted chat!” says Glyn, holding up his finger, “Hear·that? It’s a

yellow breasted chat! They sing at night during the mating season.”

“I know the answer to that one.” says Mari who has been floating round the deck, following little Tess who has been following the cat. The cat has taken refuge on Owen’s lap and Tess is prematurely dead-heading the geraniums. Mari reads out “Beauxbatons Academy symbol.”

“Wand.” she says.

“What?” we say.

“Wand.” she says, “It’s from Harry Potter.”

“Right.” we say and I write it in.

Mari has read Harry Potter in English and French, in hardback and paperback. She can tell you the color of Parvati Patel’s sari in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. She can tell you the entire contents of Hermione Granger’s handbag in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. If Mari says wand, it’s wand.

“Shove over, Nell.” she says, waking the dog from her snooze on the most comfortable sofa on the deck “And don’t lick me.” Nell gets in a couple of surreptitious swipes before flopping across Mari’s lap and resigning herself to a lick-less cuddle.

“Has anyone tick-checked lately?” says Mari poking cautiously behind Nell’s ears. She looks at her hubsand, “Zach, do you think it’s safe for Tess to eat the geraniums?”

“Here’s a good one.” says Judith, glancing back at the crossword, “Yoga effect. I have opinions on the effect of yoga.”

“Sleep.” says Lin, “They do that nap thing at the end, that’s my favorite part.”

“Not long enough.” I say, “It’s thirteen letters.”

“Bewilderment.” says Owen. “Why would anyone do yoga when you can listen to Beethoven and have a beer?”

“Boredom.” I say, “Boredom and humiliation.”

“Embarassment.” says Judith, “I signed up for classes on a cruise once and I was the only one there, just one tired old biddy in an over-sized T-shirt trying to do warrior pose.”

“Embarassment.” We agree and write it in.

“Nightlight, four letters.” I say looking up at the moon. We gaze out at the mountains and the vast arc of the sky.

“Bulb?” suggests Judith, “You know, like an electric bulb.”

“Mmm.” I say “There’s an “O” in it.”

“The stars are coming out.” says Pete, “What about star? Star is four letters. No “O” though. What time shall we go to Costco tomorrow? Do you want to look for your pileated woodpecker afterwards, Glyn?”

“We’re doing quite well with the crossword,” I say, “Though I think we might have got one or two wrong.”

“Anyone want ice-cream?” says Mari.

“Ooh yes, peanuts on ice cream.” says Glyn, “It’s good that way.”

“Cake,” says tiny Tess solemnly. She takes cake very seriously.

“More wine.” says Judith, holding out her glass.

“Beautiful night.” says Pete, just loud enough to be heard above the peanuts.