Making music, embracing Lent: in step with Caroline Metzinger

By Christina Capecchi For The Catholic Spirit

Caroline Metzinger has been on the Twin Cities music scene since 1996, serving on West St. Paul-based NET Ministries and leading music for local teens at Lifeline Masses. In 2002, she co-founded Sonar, the Catholic band that continues to perform across the country. Now 48, the talented Australian native teaches at Chesterton Academy in Hopkins, belongs to the Cathedral of St. Paul in St. Paul and is raising six kids — ages 11 to 22 — with her husband, Nathan, in Woodbury.

Q Was it hard to be so far from your family when you first became a parent?

A Yes. My mom got to come up for the birth of our oldest. She had nine kids, and my sister has nine, but she’d never been present for another woman’s labor. That was beautiful.

Joan and Robley Evans (a Mendota Heights Catholic couple) were my anchor here. I had the opportunity to live with them while Nathan and I were engaged. They were my home away from home.

Q I’m guessing your babies heard beautiful lullabies.

A We used to sing a lot at home! I’d make them match pitch when brushing their teeth to keep their mouths open.

Q Has parenthood played out as you expected?

A It has exceeded my expectations. One of the biggest things we learned early on is you can’t parent each kid the same way. They’re all so different. You have to be really in tune with each other and with them.

Q When do you feel closest to God?

A When I’m in nature. I grew up 15 minutes from the ocean and the mountains, too. When I’m on the beach, I’m awed by his creation.

Q Do you try to get your teens outside?

A Yes. Yesterday, our oldest daughter, who just moved back home from two years on NET Australia, said, “OK, we’re going on a family walk.” We took everyone and the dog. We love to ski. For a long time, we skied as a family every weekend at Welch Village rather than having our kids in sports. And we’re on a pond, so we skate out there.

Q Sounds like a good break from screens.

A Our kids don’t get a phone until they drive. It’s tough being that parent, but I think the kids are better for it.

Q Do the younger ones miss out on social invitations, not having phones?

A If one of my kids gets invited over by a friend, their parents have to contact me or Nathan. As parents, we need to be on the same page and not be surprised if some random kid is at the house. I don’t feel like, from an organizational standpoint, it’s a hindrance. I think it has spared my kids some drama that goes on. One of my daughters said, “Mom, I can’t do Instagram. I’m deleting my account.

It’s horrible. It doesn’t bring me life.” I was proud of her.

Q What helps you get more out of Lent?

A I love the Magnificat’s Lenten supplement “Walk in Her Sandals” by Kelly Wahlquist. We see the Lord’s passion and crucifixion from the perspective of a woman who might have been a villager who had an encounter with Christ. Those types of devotionals really draw me in.

Q Over many decades, you’ve led thousands, probably millions, of Catholics in worship. What does that feel like?

A It’s a big responsibility, and it’s a humbling responsibility. You try to really engage the people who you’re leading in worship, but you have to live it. Especially teenagers — they spot a fake a mile away. You have to practice what you preach.

Q Have there been times when you were tempted to just phone it in?

A All the time! I’m human. I mess up. There are times when I say, “OK, Lord, you have to give it to me today because I don’t have it.”

Sometimes you can get into autopilot, and it’s in those moments that I realize, “Oh my gosh, no! What are we doing here? We are worshipping the Lord and adoring him!” And that’s my focus, that’s what I need to pour into.

Q There’s that great St. Augustine quote when you sing once, you pray twice. Does that feel true?

A Where my voice goes, my heart follows. It doesn’t have to be in the happy songs. It can be in the gut-wrenching songs. At one Lifeline, I was singing a song and I started crying, and my bandmate had to take over.

Q What did you learn from founding Sonar?

A Common vision is huge. Why are we doing this? Who are we doing it for? What are our end goals? You can have the best musicians in the world, but if the vision isn’t there, it can be a struggle.

Q Sonar blends contemporary music with traditional Church hymns.

What’s your favorite old hymn?

A I have two favorites. “What Wondrous Love Is This” — I love, love that song! It just gets me every time. There’s a beautiful version by a Christian artist called Chelsea Moon. It brings me to tears. And then “I Heard the Voice of Jesus Say.” That song is a journey.

Q Tell me about your songwriting process.

A We get together as a band and just play chords and let things happen organically. Songs come out of that.

Personally, I just sit down with myself and a guitar and a pen and a paper and get on a chord structure and go from there. Usually, I’ll have a phrase I’m trying to go with. The song “I Will Run,” which is on our latest EP, came that way. I was driving home and that melody and those words came into my head, and then I popped it together.

Q What dulls your creativity?

A Probably my own resistance to stopping and living in the moment and jotting a few things down. I feel like I always have to go, go, go and I don’t have time to breathe.

Q Do you make time to play?

A My husband and I dabble in mixology. That’s fun! During the summertime, I’m outside a lot. In the wintertime, we play a lot of board games — that’s our hunkerdown mentality. Play, for me, is probably being hospitable and having people over.

Q What helps you live more simply?

A Being OK with just having each other around, especially as the kids get older, is a gift. We don’t go on any huge family vacations. We just try to do things around the house — simply being there and enjoying one another’s company.

Q What do you know for sure?

A I’m a daughter of God. I am loved beyond measure. And I want everyone to know that they are, too.