Why do I still feel badly about my sins after I’ve confessed?

Q I’ve been to confession, and I know that God has forgiven my sins. But I still feel badly about them. What should I do?

A Thank you so much for reaching out and for asking this question. In fact, while we know that Jesus forgives our sins in the sacrament of reconciliation, I will often talk with people who experience what you described. There are times when we just can’t seem to let our sins go.

To begin to address what is happening in these moments, I think that it is important to note what we are really talking about when we discuss God’s mercy extended to us in the sacrament of confession. We know that God does not brush aside our sins or dismiss them when he forgives. Quite the opposite. God takes sin incredibly seriously. God takes sin so seriously that he made forgiveness possible by taking on human nature, living on this earth, suffering in his body, dying, descending into the abode of the dead, and rising from the dead to be able to forgive our sins. Remember, God is merciful. But God is also just. And justice demands that the consequences of sin are carried out. Jesus took the weight of the sins of the world upon himself at the crucifixion and allowed the evil that you and I have chosen to overwhelm

KNOW the SAINTS

The spirit of the ruler of this world, the devil, sows disunity. In contrast, the Holy Spirit brings about unity; unity brought about not by ignoring our differences in a false irenicism, but a true unity. The unity brought about by the Holy Spirit does not diminish one’s individuality but unites that unique individuality with another’s in the bond of love. The unity brought about by the Holy Spirit is the unity that is found in the Trinity.

In our baptism, and strengthened in confirmation, we receive the Holy Spirit. We are temples of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is constantly seeking to draw us deeper into the mystery of God’s love — to unify us with God. A consequence of this unity with God is that we become more united to our brothers and sisters in a true and authentic way.

So how do we know that we are following the Holy Spirit and not the spirit of this world? We judge the fruits that are born from the choices we make. St. Paul in his letter to the Galatians (5:2225) exhorts us to live in the Spirit and when we do, the fruits of the spirit become manifest: “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” In contrast, the fruits of the spirit of this world are “immorality, impurity, licentiousness, idolatry, sorcery, hatreds, rivalry, jealousy, outbursts of fury, acts of selfishness, dissensions, factions, occasions of envy.”

To make the right choices for our families, to make the right choices as a parish, Church, community, state, we need a clear guide. That guide is the Holy Spirit residing within us. “If we live in the Spirit, let us also follow the Spirit.” If we do this, if we seek this, then we will find ourselves surrounded by the fruits of the Spirit’s presence. Imagine how different our families would be, this Church would be, this world would be if we gave free reign to the Holy Spirit — allowing these fruits to spring up everywhere a Christian finds himself or herself present. Imagine how united this divided world could be.

Come, Holy Spirit, come. Renew the face of the earth.

DAILY Scriptures

Sunday, May 28 Pentecost Sunday Acts 2:1-11 1 Cor 12:3b-7, 12-13 Jn 20:19-23

Monday, May 29 Blessed Virgin Mary, mother of the Church Gn 3:9-15, 20 Jn 19:25-34

Tuesday, May 30 Sir 35:1-12 Mk 10:28-31

Wednesday, May 31 Visitation of the Blessed Virgin Mary Zep 3:14-18a Lk 1:39-56

Thursday, June 1 St. Justin, martyr Sir 42:15-25 Mk 10:46-52

Friday, June 2 Sir 44:1, 9-13 Mk 11:11-26

Saturday, June 3 St. Charles Lwanga and companions, martyrs Sir 51:12cd-20 Mk 11:27-33

Sunday, June 4 him to the point of death. Scripture states, “The wages of sin is death.” This means that the consequence of sin is death; death is the result of sin, the price of sin. Jesus paid that price. In a free decision of pure love for us, he embraced the cross so that you and I could know freedom, life and mercy. Furthermore, Jesus made it possible for us to experience this freedom, life and mercy when he breathed on his Apostles and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit … those whose sins you forgive are forgiven. Those whose sins you hold bound are held bound.”

Jesus gave the Apostles (and their successors, the bishops and priests) the power to forgive sins because God wanted us to know this mercy for ourselves. He gave this incredible sacrament so that you would know that his sacrifice was not merely for “the world” but was for you. So, why would we go to confession and still feel badly? I think that there are at least three sources of these feelings.

The first is when we become aware that our sins have consequences in other people’s lives. Our choice has affected another person in a negative way. Because of this, a person could go to confession and truly know that they have been forgiven but feel tortured by the reality that God’s forgiveness does not miraculously undo what that person’s decision caused to happen. Because I gossiped, someone now has a bad reputation, and I can’t undo that. Because I acted out in anger, another person is now physically or emotionally wounded. Because I stole, someone now has less. Of course, the list of the consequences of our choices could go on forever. But the fact remains that my decisions may have injured someone else’s life. It is possible that our decisions have ended someone else’s life.

What does a person do then? There are consequences that someone else is enduring. This is one of the places where the Church’s teaching on restitution could come into play. The Church teaches us that, if I am truly repentant of my sins, I ought to do all I can to make up for my sins according to my ability. This is not at all believing that we are “earning” forgiveness.

PLEASE TURN TO ASK FATHER MIKE ON PAGE 21

Solemnity of the Most Holy Trinity Ex 34:4b-6, 8-9 2 Cor 13:11-13 Jn 3:16-18

Monday, June 5 St. Boniface, bishop and martyr Tb 1:3; 2:1a-8 Mk 12:1-12

Tuesday, June 6 Tb 2:9-14 Mk 12:13-17

Wednesday, June 7 Tb 3:1-11a, 16-17a Mk 12:18-27

Thursday, June 8

Tb 6:10-11; 7:1bcde, 9-17; 8:4-9a Mk 12:28-34

Friday, June 9 Tb 11:5-17 Mk 12:35-37

Saturday, June 10

Tb 12:1, 5-15, 20 Mk 12:38-44

Sunday, June 11

Solemnity of the Body and Blood of Christ

Dt 8:2-3, 14b-16a

1 Cor 10:16-17

Jn 6:51-58

ST. AUGUSTINE OF CANTERBURY (?-605) Augustine was prior of a monastery in Rome until 596, when Pope St. Gregory the Great sent him and 30 other monks to evangelize England. They landed in Kent and gained permission to preach because the king’s wife had been a Christian before her marriage. Augustine’s preaching won over King Ethelbert, who became a Christian and gave the monks a house and church in Canterbury. Augustine built England’s first cathedral there; from this see, missionaries and bishops were sent around England. He is known as “the apostle of England.” His feast day is May 27. — OSV News