AM I CHAP?

SEND PHOTOS OF YOURSELF AND OTHER BUDDING CHAPS AND CHAPETTES TO CHAP@THECHAP.CO.UK FOR INCLUSION IN THE NEXT ISSUE

Alexey Ostudin hails from the currently unfashionable country of Russia, but that didn’t stop him out-Chapping all other entrants for the coveted title of Star Chap, with his choice of attire while boarding the Trans-Siberian Express.

“Please peruse this little snapette of myself,” writes Matt Stannard. “I’m wearing my usual attire, all vintage clothes apart from the cords. The tie is of course a Handlebar Club tie and the moustaches are styled with Debonair Moustache wax, the excellent collaboration between The Chap and Captain Fawcett.” The use of newspaper as a pocket square is highly original, sir, and is very ‘on trend’ with environmental concerns.

Russell and Sara Nash found it too inconvenient to field the constant barrage of questions about their splendid outfits, so they hopped on the Queen Mary to get away from it all. The other passengers observed strict cruise liner etiquette of never mentioning any Agatha Christie novel set on a ship. “I had to send you a postcard photo from my renewed wanderings after a two-year pause,” writes Simon ‘What’s wrong with denim?’ Doughty. “I was accosted by a vintage gendarme in the antique market of old town Nice.” If the dummy could speak, he would be echoing our own sentiments, sir; to wit, “I see you are hatless today, monsieur?”

“Although duelling is long forbidden,” writes Max Knoth, “some unsavoury elements still challenge you on the open streets, accompanied by their gutless henchmen.” Sir, the pen may be mightier than the sword, but the umbrella is clearly mightier than the Strawberry flavoured Mr. Freeze Ice Pop.

“My name is Shehla Choudhry and I would like to share some pictures of my boyfriend Neil. Since the first time I met Neil, I have always been impressed with his great sense of dressing and they way he carries himself. However, he strongly disagrees with me on this subject, so he challenged me to contact you and send his photos to see if you feel the same as me. Of course I’m keeping this a surprise until I get a response back.” Madam, I think we are with Neil on this one.

Among this group of ladies is one decent tweed outfit. If only they could agree upon whose turn it is to wear it today. Whereas this couple both have some sort of sartorial dyslexia, which causes them to put on some of the right clothes, but in the wrong order. The so-called Tweed Run has a lot to answer for, it seems.

IN RESPONSE TO A FEATURE ABOUT THE IMPORTANCE OF PAYING AS MUCH ATTENTION TO ONE’S PORTMANTEAU AS TO ONE’S CLOTHING, WE ASKED READERS TO SEND US PHOTOS OF THEIR FAVOURED CARRYING VESSEL. WITH ONE EXCEPTION (WILLIAM WALKER, PROBABLY A SPY), THE ASTOUNDING CONCLUSION IS THAT EACH OF THEM IS USING MORE OR LESS THE SAME CASE.

Sturdy, brown, handsome, patriotic: the Julio Iglesias of leather portmanteaux favoured by

Grant Jukes

Jason Frost uses a charmingly weathered leather satchel to carry around his large collection of ultra-violent video games.

Mr. Walker’s valise is of a more modest girth, but nevertheless is equipped with a sturdy metal bar, presumably because the contents are protected by the Official

Secrets Act. This unnamed correspondent’s portmanteau is designed for a much heavier load, and comes with an additional shoulder strap for the extra weight, undoubtedly of a literary nature.

Not to be left out, Alexey Ostudin carries a slim leather briefcase during an assignment to investigate Lord knows what nefarious activity in the Urals.