Better Together Is Better Together!

Charlotte Jewish News March 2021

By Haven Lail (Photo: Bob Jacobson and Haven Lail

When I started at Hebrew High, I was in a pre-adoptive placement with my adoptive family. I was not raised in any religion with my biological family. I quickly fell in love with Judaism when my adoptive mom introduced me to it, and now I am converting with Rabbi Dusty Klass.

I was very nervous starting Hebrew High! I didn’t know anyone. I wasn’t raised Jewish like everyone else was. I was worried that I wouldn’t make any friends. Once I started, I knew it was the place for me! Ever since my first night, I have not missed even one night because I love it so much! As we live in Hickory, it is a long drive to get there, but I don’t mind it at all because I learn a lot about Judaism, I’m learning Hebrew, and I have made some good friends.

Last summer, I started participating in a program through Hebrew High called Better Together. Better Together pairs teens like me with senior citizens so that we can learn about one another. In Better Together,

I learned about what it was like growing up Jewish many years ago, and I shared my story of converting and becoming part of a family where my adoptive mom was also converting. I also made a good friend! Bob Jacobson and I have become friends, and I like spending time with him!

Now, every Friday, I celebrate Shabbat with the seniors from the Carriage Club. I lead the Shema every week. Sometimes, my adoptive mom and I make challah and bring it to them. I love all the seniors I’ve met through Better Together, and I am glad that Hebrew High gave me this opportunity. As part of the Better Together program, there was an essay contest about an experience in Better Together. Below is the essay I submitted and that I won with:

Every Friday, my adoptive mom and I have a tradition. We make a lot of challah, and we deliver that challah to elderly people in our community. I have learned a lot by doing this simple activity with my mom each week, and I really like performing this mitzvah.

Shortly before the world shut down because of COVID, I met a lady named Ruth. She lives in a senior assisted-living apartment about two miles from my house. Ordinarily we are rushed in our deliveries, but this particular Friday right before Purim, we got up early so the challah (and the hamantaschen) were ready to deliver before 10 a.m.

Miss Ruth opened her door, and I knew I loved her instantly! Her small apartment was as neat as a pin, and there was Judaica everywhere! She invited us in, got us a soda, and we sat down to talk as we (well, mostly me!) ate the hamantaschen. Miss Ruth told us how she grew up Jewish here in the Hickory area. She taught us that the first Jewish family moved here in 1861 and the first permanent Jewish resident of Hickory moved here in 1916. She even helped me with my Hebrew homework! I wished we could have stayed and talked to Miss Ruth all day! Before we left, Miss Ruth taught me all about her Judaica and promised me one of her family menorahs so I can have an actual piece of Jewish history rather than just the menorahs we bought at Target!

Another senior I met through Better Together is Miss Bella. Miss Bella is one of my favorite people! I have adopted her and her husband as my grandparents, and I go to see them often. I learned that Miss Bella is a convert, just like me! Her life has not been easy. Her first husband abandoned her, and two of her six children died. But Miss Bella is filled with joy, even though her life hasn’t been easy.

I learned a lot that Friday. Yes, there are differences between people who are elderly and me. But those differences are small in comparison to our similarities. Like Miss Ruth, I am proud to be Jewish and love Hebrew. I am proud to be a Jew by choice, just like Miss Bella. Also, like Miss Bella, my life hasn’t been easy. It’s hard to be put in foster care at 12 and adopted at age 14. That story is uniquely mine. But like Miss Bella, I choose to live joyously. Better Together is more

than the name of the program I am in. Better Together is a reality because we really are better when we are united as one Jewish family. Because we can learn so much from one another and enjoy being together, I know the world really is a better place when we are Better Together!