Building Stronger Futures: Prevention Strategies for Teen Dating Violence

Charlotte Jewish News, February 2025

By Rachel Green, MSW, LCSW, JFS Director of Programs and Services

As a community, we all have dreams for our children and the young people in our lives. We envision them growing up to be kind, confident, and successful— finding their place in the world with the support of healthy relationships. What kind of partner do you hope they find? What kind of partner do you hope they become?

It’s easy to picture them excelling in school or sports. We might even imagine dates to prom or fun college romances. But it can be harder to envision them navigating the complexities of romantic relationships. Yet, as we reflect on what we want for our children, we must also consider our critical responsibility to guide them through the complicated—and potentially harmful—world of dating and relationships. By learning about teen dating violence and how to talk to the children in our lives about consent and healthy relationships, we can empower them to grow into the thriving adults we hope they will become.

Understanding Teen Dating Violence

February is National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month (TDVAM), and the reality is that teen dating violence is more common than many of us would like to admit. According to Loveisrespect. org, one in three U.S. teens will experience physical, sexual, or emotional abuse from someone they’re in a relationship with before becoming adults. Nearly half (43%) of U.S. college women report experiencing violent or abusive dating behaviors.

TDVAM emphasizes that prevention starts with awareness. By understanding the warning signs of teen dating violence, we can provide our children with the tools they need to form healthy relationships.

When we think of teen dating violence, we may picture physi-

cal abuse or yelling. While these are forms of abuse, teen dating violence also includes emotional abuse, controlling behaviors, intimidation, stalking, and more. When talking to teens, it’s important to use clear and relatable language so that they can identify red flags.

Forms of Teen Dating Violence

- Emotional abuse: Controlling behaviors, name-calling, humiliation, threats to ruin a reputation or spread rumors, or threats to disclose sensitive information.

- Intimidation: Physical threats to the teen, their friends, family, or loved ones.

- Online stalking: Monitoring online accounts, demanding social media logins, checking private messages, or restricting private social media usage.

- Online intimidation: Threatening to post sensitive material, spreading rumors, or making other harmful online threats.

- Isolation: Efforts to separate the teen from friends and family.

- Power and control: Dictating what the teen wears, who they see, what activities they participate in, or how they spend their time.

- Physical abuse: Hitting, slapping, shoving, or any form of physical harm. While this is often the most obvious form of abuse, teens may hesitate to speak up due to fear or shame.

- Stalking: Repeated, unwanted attention or contact that causes fear or safety concerns. This may occur in person or online.

- Sexual violence: Any unwanted sexual act without consent. Teens may not fully understand what constitutes consent, making it crucial to have these conversations early.

Teaching Consent

If we recognize the red flags of unhealthy relationships, how do we teach our children the skills to build healthy ones? One answer is to teach the concept of consent.

Consent is not just about sexual activity—it is the foundation of any healthy relationship. According to Loveisrespect.org, “Consent is an ongoing mutual agreement between partners about what they want to experience.”

The familiar phrase “no means no” oversimplifies the complexities of mutual decision-making and respect. As Loveisrespect. org explains, consent is not reactive but proactive. It is a shared expression of comfort and desire within a relationship.

We can start conversations about consent with our teens by asking: What do you want in a relationship? What feels safe or unsafe to you? What have you observed in movies, shows, or real life that reflects healthy or unhealthy relationships?

Teaching consent isn’t just for teens; it’s something we can instill in children from a young age. Encourage them to ask permission before touching someone, respect others’ boundaries, and understand the importance of saying “no” when something doesn’t feel right. These lessons will prepare them to navigate relationships throughout their lives.

Building a Better Future

By helping our children envision relationships built on mutual respect, safety, and consent, we can work toward the prevention of teen dating violence. Let’s equip young people with the tools they need to thrive and create a future filled with healthy, meaningful relationships.