5 minute read
Don't Give Up on Yourself
October 2024
After WWII, a Holocaust survivor came to visit his onetime Rebbe, the Gerer Rebbe, Rabbi Avraham Mordechai Alter. This broken Jew had been deported to the death camps together with his wife, children, relatives, and entire community. His wife, children, and relatives were gassed, and his entire community was wiped out. He emerged from the ashes a lonely man in a cruel world that had silently swallowed the blood of six million Jews. This Jew lost one more thing in the camps: his G-d. After what he experienced in Nazi death camps, he could not continue believing in a G-d who allowed Auschwitz.
After the war, he made his way to Israel (then known as Palestine) and although he had completely abandoned Jewish observance, he missed his old Rebbe and went to visit him in Tel Aviv. The Rebbe, who escaped in 1940, had lost many grandchildren and relatives in the Holocaust, in addition to nearly all of his 200,000 followers.
Upon hearing the man’s story, the Rebbe broke into tears. After a long period of weeping together, the Rebbe shared the following idea. In Moses’ farewell address to his people, he recounted the moment he descended from Mount Sinai and saw the Jews with the Golden Calf.
I grasped the two tablets, threw them down ... and smashed them before your eyes. (Deut. 9:15-17) Why did Moses find it important to emphasize that the breaking of the tablets occurred “before your eyes?” Suppose Moses had turned around and broken the tablets out of view; would that in any way have lessened the tragedy? Moses imparted a message: The shattering of the tablets occurred only before their eyes and from their perception. In reality, though, there exists a world in which the tablets have never been broken. The Rebbe explained that what may seem to us as utter destruction and chaos, does not always capture the complete story. “Before your eyes is nothing but devastation but what in our world bespeaks total disaster may, in a different world, be wholesome.” The Rebbe continued, “As difficult as it is for you and me to believe, I want you to know that the extermination of our families, our communities, and our people occurred only ‘before our eyes.’
There remains a world in which the Jewish people are wholesome. Beneath the surface of our perception, there exists a reality in which every single Jew from Abraham till our present day is alive, his or her soul absolutely intact, and the day will come when G-d will mend our broken tablets and broken nation.”
These words were said by someone who experienced the suffering of the war on his own flesh. Pain is not intellectual; it is raw and real. The Rebbe spoke with tears and grief, and together with this survivor, he walked through his tunnel of darkness. This broken Jew said that these words gave him courage and restored his soul, and his faith.
No amount of personal suffering can compare to the suffering experienced by the Jewish people over the centuries, but at different points in life, when our hopes and dreams come crashing down under the weight of reality, we all experience pain and suffering. Every new year we create imaginary places in our minds – beautiful pictures of who we will become in the upcoming year, but as the year goes on, some of those dreams begin to crumble. But then come the High Holidays, a time at which we are meant to reintroduce ourselves to G-d — and to ourselves. We are back, but sometimes feel, “Here I am again the same person who didn’t turn into the person I wanted to be.” Some people are ashamed and even depressed, but we must consider the possibility that the broken people we imagine ourselves to be are just what our eyes see. We are broken, but G-d still sees the people we wish to be and doesn’t give up on us.
The struggle to become the person we dreamed of last year –or at any moment when we were inspired — doesn’t lie behind us. The picture of who we wanted to be has not been shattered by the mistakes we made or by unforeseen and unwanted circumstances thrust into our lives. It’s still here and although it’s difficult to envision the pristine beauty of who we can be, G-d sees it and believes in us—after all, he gave us another year of life. We are broken only in our eyes but our loving G-d sees our sincere desire to be better. He sees our potential for greatness as He did before things got messed up; an opportunity has been placed before us specifically during this time. The die is not cast. This year, at this time of year, we decide which version of ourselves we choose to be and understand that if G-d hasn’t given up on us, we shouldn’t either.
