~ New Year Resolutions Aren't ABout What You "Should Do"~

New Year Resolutions Aren’t About What You “Should Do” - R U OK? Shalom Park

By Howard Olshansky

As we enter the new year it is typical to think about our goals for year about to be. Many of us will make New Year’s resolutions. These are generally goals in areas of our lives that we are not completely satisfied with. The most popular resolutions are:

• To lose weight/eat healthier

• Save money/spend less/ stick to a budget

• Exercise

• Begin a hobby/interest activity

• Increase family time

The belief that we “should” achieve these goals is one of the challenges we face to reach them. Believing we should do something is very different from being motivated to want to do something. If we aren’t truly motivated, we will likely give

up before we’ve made much progress. According to an article in INC magazine researchers indicate that 60 percent of us make New Year’s resolutions but only 8% are successful in achieving them.

This year as you are considering your New Year’s resolutions, consider choosing a goal that improves your emotional health. Many of us pay attention to our physical health but never think about the importance of our mental well-being. Taking care of your emotional health and well-being can actually impact all those other resolutions you make. For instance, the state of your emotional health can have a direct impact your physical health including lowering blood pressure, reducing the risk of heart disease, and maintaining a healthier weight. Focusing

on your emotional health influences your attitude, whether you generally have positive or negative thoughts, how you manage stress, and how you behave and relate to others. An increase in positive thinking often results in increased motivation to accomplish some of those goals you want to achieve.

You might be asking how to improve your emotional health. A recent article from familydoctor.org identified these tips:

Be aware of your emotions and reactions. Notice what in your life makes you sad, frustrated, or angry. Try to address or change those things.

Express your feelings in appropriate ways. Let people close to you know when something is bothering you. Keeping feelings of sadness or anger inside adds to stress. It can cause problems

in your relationships and at work or school.

Think before you act. Give yourself time to think and be calm before you say or do something you might regret.

Manage stress. Learn relaxation methods to cope with stress. These could include deep breathing, meditation, and exercise.

Strive for balance. Find a healthy balance between work and play and between activity and rest. Make time for things you enjoy. Focus on positive things in your life.

Connect with others. Even if it’s virtually, make a lunch date or join a group. If you are in a store, just say hello to strangers or ask your cashier how their day is going. We need positive connections with other people.

Find purpose and meaning.

Figure out what’s important to you in life and focus on that. This could be your work, your family, volunteering, caregiving, or something else. Spend your time doing what feels meaningful to you.

Stay positive. Focus on the good things in your life. Forgive yourself for making mistakes and forgive others. Spend time with healthy, positive people.