HOLIDAY OR HOLIDATE?

Breaking news: McKenna does have a boo… and he is most definitely spending the holidays with her.

Spending the holidays with my significant other is nothing new for me but it may be new for some. Being with your partner over the holidays is genuinely one of the most bonding experiences you two could share.

Not only is the whole family there but you get to see how your partner interacts with their family, and let me tell ya… that can be interesting. I have been with a guy who had no relationship with their family but I have also been with a guy who was a huge family man. I'm not hating on either one of these dynamics. I totally understand that not everyone is BFF’s with their family but the holidays can definitely bring out some unidentified issues within the family system.

My current man has a pretty rocky relationship with his family, and this can be heightened during the Winter season because of all the holiday festivities that are so surrounded by family.

So how do you support your significant other during that?

1 DOn’T pusHTHEMTO gOTOTHEIR FaMILy’s HOusEFORTHEHOLIDays. Allow your partner to handle the situation in their own way. If they don’t want to spend Thanksgiving or Christmas with their family then support them and invite them to your family’s festivities and make them feel welcomed and included. Not everyone is as tight with their family, and some may have residual trauma from their family dynamic, so always be supportive. THEMTHE wHOLEDay. What I mean by this is that some may feel out of place that they aren’t spending the holidays with their family and you continuously asking them how they are doing, will make them feel more like a charity case. Ask your partner once how they are feeling and if you can do anything for them and what they need from you today, and then leave it at that. Make the day as loving and joyous as possible.

3 IFTHEy DO wanTTO gOTOTHEIRFaMILIEs and you know it’s going to be a shit show… gO anyway. If your S/O wants to attempt a get together at their family’s place that is a step in the right direction and you should totally be supportive. It’s not an easy thing to hang out with your family when there is a lot of tension there, so praise your partner for even trying. If the get-together goes sideways keep your cool because your partner probably won't. This is something I struggle with. I hate to see my guy upset from something a family member said but I have to remember that by me being calm and collected will also help him calm down. Don’t insert yourself into a family situation, it will never end well. Just be an ear to listen and ask your partner what YOU can DO to help in being supportive.

4 DO nOT TakE anyTHIng pERsOnaLLy FROM yOuR paRTnER wHEn THEy aRE upsETDuRIng THEHOLIDays. If you are really close with your family it may be difficult for you to understand what it’s like to have conflict within a family system. On the holidays these emotions can come out in several different ways and they may even come out sideways on you. Don’t take how your partner is acting personally, they are hurting and projecting and nine times out of 10 it has nothing to do with you. If they are grumpy and not as enthusiastic as you on Christmas just give them a hug, tell them you appreciate them, and let them know

2 ask HOw THEy aREDOIng, BuTDOn’T pITy you’re here if they want to talk. The moral of the story in all of this is that being supportive and empathetic toward your partner will get you FAR in a relationship. Just remember that the holidays aren’t a loving time of the year for everyone, so be sensitive and be grateful for all you have this year. BY Mckenna Leavens

HOLIDAY MENTAL HEALTH

Throughout the winter months, mental health During the holidays’ communities are seen issues are heightened because of the holi- coming together to support families who aren’t days, as well as the added factors of seasonal fortunate enough to experience the best Christmas, depression, and the current Coronavirus pandemic. Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, New Years’, and so on. PeoSpending a concentrated amount of time with fami- ple adopt families to express their love and donate ly and friends is something that everyone is grateful gifts. There are many holiday gift drives, functions for, but at times can be stressful because of the pres- at homeless shelters, and more to ensure that most sure to create the perfect holiday environment. people feel the love and holiday spirit no matter As much as people look forward to spending quality, joyous time with family during the holidays, So with that being said, what are ways to the added anxiety of seeing loved ones you haven’t cope with anxiety and depression? interacted with in a while, the stress of gift-giving, or social anxiety around large groups can create a Some helpful and free ways to cope can be more stressful environment for some. The holidays daily journaling; you can write the highs and lows force people out of their comfort zone. Imagine the of your day, and what you’re grateful for. The simple stress that takes over people who don’t have close act of writing how you’re feeling can be beneficial in knit families or rarely get out much. Some may ex- releasing tension from within the body. perience added depression due to the lack of interaction with family and comparing themselves to the Meditation is also a way to relax your mind societal norms that are created in holiday movies or and body and detach from your current state of the overload of posts on social media showcasing emotions. It allows one to focus on breathing and family and friends together. the body. There are plenty of apps like Calm, HeadWith the current state of our country, trav- with guided meditations. You can also find free eling home, visiting family members, and overall meditation videos on YouTube for anxiety, sleep or celebrating holiday events are being altered and whatever you need in the moment modified to keep everyone as healthy as possible. Over the course of the past few months, everyone Seasonal Depression stems from the lack around the world has been restricted from social in- of being outside, so a nice alternative is using light teraction; which has taken an enormous toll on the therapy inside. Light therapy is used to brighten overall well-being of people’s mental state. Although your environment to simulate natural light, and the holidays are stressful, everyone, including has been used in order to positively affect chemimyself, looks forward to some aspects of it. But this cals within the brain which are linked to sleep and year it seems as if the holidays may carry a negative mood. Light therapy lamps can be purchased online connotation because we aren’t allowed to gather in to help ease symptoms of seasonal depression. large groups and we have the fear of exposing our loved ones and elders. Lastly, don’t be afraid to reach out to family Outside of the current pandemic, each year Remember that you are never alone. as the winter months approach, seasonal depression starts to kick in for some. This is due to the BY Cabrini Class cold weather, lack of sunshine, prohibited outdoor activities, and overall gloominess of Winter months. There are many ways to combat these feelings. their circumstances. space and Insight Timer that you can get to help and friends and let them know how you’re feeling.