FAMILY FUEDS

F E U D S L Y M I F A 32

Every year, there comes a time where we’re not only full of turkey, sweet potatoes, and green bean casserole, but full of conversation with those we love the most. Whether we like it or not, a pretty substantial amount of time each Thanksgiving is devoted to talking with your relatives and catching up with family you may not have seen all year.

Especially as college students, it’s nice to feel that nostalgia at Thanksgiving time, whether it’s baking, playing games, or just sitting around the table talking. There’s nothing quite like it. But as we get older, we start to notice the dynamic shift a little around this oh-so-special time.

While we make the crust for pumpkin pie, Grandma and your aunt argue about that dang Colin Kaepernick kneeling during the national anthem. When we play Monopoly, your older brother and dad get into a heated discussion about LGBTQ+ rights. Even when we’re all sitting down for the Thanksgiving meal, somehow all the cousins have banded together to debate the uncles on Medicare for All.

Politics get more and more difficult to have a civilized discussion about, skate around gingerly, or just ignore completely. Besides, we have to keep in mind that this year’s Thanksgiving is taking place right after a presidential election. Someone’s feelings are going to get hurt. It’s okay to not want to talk politics with your family. Before bringing up a topic or interjecting in a conversation, try asking yourself a few questions...

Do you feel confident enough in your arguments to educate someone about a What is going to be gained or lost by sharing your stance on an issue? (For example, are you going to convince your devoutly homophobic 90-year-old grandmother that gay people deserve rights?)

Is saying your opinion on something going to get you hurt?

This last one is the most important one to think of. Absolutely reconsider saying something if it’s going to cause any sort of emotional or physical trauma to you or a family member. If you’re like me and would rather not see your family throw turkey at each other then prepare for dinner with some conversation starters. I usually do this by writing questions on slips of paper in a mug. For example; “What’s the best movie you’ve ever seen?” or “What’s the first thing you grab at a grocery store?” Or maybe try a swear jar idea, but with politics, and donate the money to charity.

What a few of my cousins and I have done in past years is we have a secret code word for when things get uncomfortable. It’s a little cheesy, but just throw that word into the conversation, start “clearing the plates,” and take a little breather from whatever’s making someone mad. Sometimes the strategy I use is just talking about myself for as long as possible. It may be a little uncomfortable, but boy, does it work!

For many people family is one of the most important pillars in their lives. This Thanksgiving, being the peacemaker is what may keep an all-out civil war, so to speak, from breaking out. In the end, we’re supposed to enjoy the time we spend with each other and not smash plates, so this season, remember to not only pass the salt, but the olive branch too. By: Gwenn Strasser