uc san diego
volume V, issue 4, june 2012
2
volume V, issue 4, june 2012
don’t
postpone...
track one JOY DE LA CRUZ
he who doesn’t hear the music thinks the dancer[r] is crazy well I say he who doesn’t hear the music is just being too lazy to listen to hear to be here we are music and I [sachet] or struts or walk we are music and what we say and do and talk we are music let me drop a freedom writer line to clarify con-fusion music, our muse for being, human beings have hearts that hear [hearts/arts?] and that I know in my heart that you gift we give each other is simple to be present to be at the moment the beat, be at the beat be at the beat be at the beat b-e-a-t be at the beat
Don’t postpone my feeling. Just because I’m an emotional wreck doesn’t mean my pain is less valid than others’. Don’t blow it off, don’t diminish it, don’t ignore it. Listen when I speak, because I have the world to speak about. So I speak to myself Knowing that I am never alone For I am in you and you are in I There was never a distinction. Don’t post-pone what I have to say I bleed because of your loss And because we are not distinct, your loss is my loss I hurt because I am silent I must mourn before I can begin to heal Heal at the beat of the drum Drom, to the beat of his heels And watch the beat of your heart syn in the rhythm. Listen to pitter patter of the way the Corazon excites itself. And let laughs come as natural as they should be. Without happiness and joy, there is no life Life is the pursuit of happiness and keeping it forever Happiness can be endless or non-esistant If you allow yourself to be free You may be happy and laugh till no end Laugh till no end, run free into the horizon. Dance like no one’s watching Take each moment to be alive, cherish you Joy, love the life you live, and live the life you love.
Don’t postpone health, especially because I put my physical therapy session last on my priority list. I definitely put SPACES as top priority. It was an addiction I have in logistical organization. I am dead tired today I seriously just want to go sleep and curl into a ball. Don’t postpone living your life. Instead of waiting for others and catering to their needs. Go for it. Do what you love, and take care of yourself. Sleep. Breathe, DO. But don’t let yourself fall into traps of ignorance and nonsense But instead love invested in those you care and appreciate in finding your own passion and inspiration for love itself to love and not know why is truly not to know. It is always a time for growth to find what one cares about and what leads ones to discover that what truly matters is what oneself seeks stability. My beat is the same beat I’ve always had—the same—the constant—the consistent—and comforting sound of home. I am a rock. Stable. Solid. Firmly planted HERE. And I’m not going anywhere, no matter what. What am I seeking for? Where is the final destination for us? Through all the struggles and suffering will result in joy of community. Our knowledge will be
Don’t postpone yourself Who else will take care of you, but yourself? But how do we take care of ourselves? Self-care? Self-love? Self-realization? Self-empowerment? When does it become too much? So postpone the hate, the anger, and the injustices. But don’t postpone the love for yourself and one another. For it is this love That roots us back. We are meant to survive, Don’t postpone the opportunity to do something for yourself Or your own happiness Un the end, only you know what is best for yourself Because you know what makes your heart heal with suppressed joy And you know what makes your eyelashes flutter with the strain with holding back tears. You know what it’s like to tip your head back With laughter and don’t postpone joy until you do Don’t postpone empathy. It is one of the most useful Ideas in this world. Actually, it is probably the bridge Of all I’d like to associate with love. Empathy: vital yet rare. Asked for, but not given.
collective poems from the SPACES staff inspired by Track One by Joy de la Cruz Don’t postpone Lunchdates and sleep/bedtimes and Weekends home. Studying for the midterm that creeps closer and closer And opening that delicious bag of Hot Cheetos with limon—why wait when I can have it NOW :) Yum! (But don’t postpone healthy habits either) like laughter, comfortable healing like smiling, like the sun—a promise of the next day you could bring the future to today and guarantee that you will rise to any occasion Don’t halt to feel extremity in living everyday because some things aren’t worth the wait If you keep waiting for something you’ll never truly live your life Stop waiting for things or other people and start living you life Life is too short to waste on bullshit Life is full of bullshit Pick and chose what bull shit you deal with BLAH!!! don’t postpone hearing your own beat, then your, then the c them step, step step step slash don’t postpone surrender, wanna lay down my head and the floor and surrender and trust teach me how to love, let go, love, let go—until one act is indistinguished from the other your own beats can be your passions, fears, goals, aspirations love for life, yearning for knowledge hunger for growth
about the
theme be at the BEAT
3
volume V, issue 4, june 2012
uc san diego
don’t postpone… discovery let yourself be free let yourself resonate with your own beet feel the tingle I don’t postpone… vulnerability Allowing the beat of my voice to enlighten, empower and enrich the hearts that open themselves to be vulnerable with me. Never shutting off any channel of knowledge that could be the stepping stone for some else voice to be heard, validated and appreciated to this beat I move! Up Down left right Can’t Stop, won’t stop. Fighting for what I believe Changing the perception of those around. Fluidly flowing from one crowd to another Changing. Changing. One step at a time Once voice at a time. Too many people at once. I need space. Relaxation. that seems so unattainable now. I neglect my own needs, I neglect myself. taking everything at one step at a time. I, just, need. Space. Time for myself and to sit w/ my own thoughts Space that is given to me… very rarely. Don’t postpone… me. I need to remember that I matter as well as much as the next event or program. It starts at the beat… I my heart. I need myself to sit … and be.
don’t postpone JOY. “Track One” by Joy De La Cruz is a spoken word piece found on a blank CD by former coeditor Maureen Abugan when she was an intern at the Cross Cultural Center. Joy De La Cruz was a UCSD alumna, Pinay poet activist/organizer, and beloved community member. Her art and writing continues to inspire. Her presence persists in the Cross Cultural Center through the Joy De La Cruz Arts and Activism internship and through the workshops where students continue to share her work. We picked “be at the beat” as our last theme of the year because we hope that through picking up The Collective Voice, our readers find inter/connections with people. At the heart of The Collective Voice is community, empowerment, and the liberatory powers of writing that is invested in self-representation and self-determination. As co-editors, we strove to make this publication a moving piece of art and to honor the experiences shared by our contributors. It has been a wonderful journey serving this publication. Please continue writing, creating, and sharing. Here’s to the incoming co-editors, Jenn Velez and Selina Mahesri, we wish you many adventures and poetry. speak freely,
co-editors in chief, 2011-2012
4
volume V, issue 4, june 2012
9th Annual SIAPS Overnight Program
This free 3-day, 2-nig ht program invites ad mitted seniors from Sa Diego, Inland Empire, Lo n s Angeles, and the SF Bay area to experienc the unviersity environ e ment and campus life at UCSD. During their students are paired stay, with an a undergradua te and attend progra which allow insight on ms what UCSD has to offer them. Activitie include but are not lim s ited to the following:
-Exposure to on-campus resources such as community centers, transition programs, research opportunities, etc. -Attendance at academic lectures -Participation in social activities -Experience eating in the dining halls and sleeping in oncampus -apartments/residential halls -Interaction with other UCSD-admitted high school seniors and current college students
channels
MAGGIE QUAN
contributing writer
uc san diego
volume V, issue 4, june 2012
in a hospital waiting room and its tv set keeps showing a program on healthy eating that offers no cultural diet and thus is of no relevance to my family’s habits I glance down when the program ends because my neck is tired from consuming the glow and I stare at my aunts’ ugly Coach shoes and her tacky Coach bag and her loud Coach tastes that she bought with her husband’s money
suddenly I am greeted by the excited arms of my second aunt and uncle and cousins as if they traveled those two hours away from home just to let me know, without fail that they think I’m the prettiest I’ve ever been even though I woke up with five new zits they’ve been here since yesterday and they’ll be here until my uncle gets up and walks and talks again my post-op uncle and my aunt and my entire family’s favorite game is mahjong and we can’t wait to play again
this is the quietest she has ever been and for the first time ever, she has nothing to gossip about she’s been out of the loop and hasn’t slept since her husband’s surgery yesterday and hasn’t slept since they found the tumor half a year ago
friday night, week four just turned twenty and I got midterms soon, got projects that might fall through got endless homework, just finished a job interview got an expensive four year university education to finish got no idea what I’m going to do and it takes me moving one hundred miles from home to know there’s no community like family got these precious few hours I’d gladly spend at a Vietnamese restaurant in san diego with the only actual Vietnamese-speaking family sitting here and we’ll eat what the tv program will call the wrong serving size and my family’s eaten their last three meals here and we’re gathered around a long table playing mahjong on an ipad talking about student loans and one of our dogs’ own recent trip to a hospital got an episode of Grey’s Anatomy I’ll watch online tomorrow for now, I’ll have this Vietnamese family episode
I make a joke that she can no longer yell at him because he now has only one good ear and she smiles and wonders if he’ll regrow his hair after the skin graft and after all my years of watching American hospital dramas I am blown away by how amazing this question is she places her hand in mine with all its aging lines though she claims people still mistake her for 35 I doubt anyone even believes that then my cousin asks if her daughter has cried and my aunt replies no, Caryn’s like her dad, unafraid of anything I wonder if she knows It’s because Caryn’s strong like her mom, too
FEELINGS TO LIVE JOLLY
contributing writer Stimulus to sensory. With your mouth, the movement of the tongue and sound waves into air pressure It created your voice. And I was talked into being. But where was I? Distasteful. I had to stand there and listen. Silent and Motionless. Reflects, localizes, enters, variance transfers into fluid vibration in my ears And you told me “You are weak” And in your eyes, concentrated in the periphery of the retina, I was fragile. I couldn’t handle. I couldn’t stay strong. But you forgot something. You lost the connection of body to emotion. What we do, we feel too. Comeback. Combat. Enough is Enough. Our feelings are a state of being. Hands touch. Coordinated to be near. I move closer to embrace. Happiness lifts, changes, inspires and, guides us to the wisdom to keep breathing. I take a deep breath for the air to fill my lungs like rain in a gutter. Fear paralyzes. Afraid of the consequences. I am stuck. I am stopped. I cannot move forward. My brain halts trains of thought. Hurt scars our precious and sacred hearts and the anxiety persists. For it is the memories we refuse to face because we are scared to be beaten down again and again. Sadness exposes open wounds that you ripped open not to long ago. To slowly heal from a touch that would easily produce unbearable silent pain. Anger bursts like a ball of undesired fire. It controls the heat that I no longer want to feel and regulates the flickering candle of my spirit.
5
LAST PEDAGOGY POEM: what we must teach ourselves
Hatred whispers the voices of hidden internal triggers as the sharp needles stab down the spine. Cold, heartless, metallic swings and clinks in succession. One after the other. Tired and Restless. My eye twitches until I am blind. Love tingles the skin of my back as warm rays of sunlight shine into the prism of reflecting sacrifice. It gives us to courage to continue. Love transforms. Love heals. Love overcomes. Love brings tranquility, acceptance and understanding so that we can spread hope for the ones who fall, to be pick up with the swoop of our comforting arms. Love never ends. We are creators of our own feelings mirrored in the clench of the fist, the blink of the eye, the tremor of our voices, the flesh of the wounded fighter, they are indicators of self expression, experience, and behavior they tell a past and history we have yet to reclaim but no one knows about because they are secrets of a truth we hold onto no one can make anyone feel anything except ourselves feelings are real feelings validate who we are feelings are a state of mind feelings enable all that is lost to be found feelings are our liberation to the movement out of self we question, we risk, we fight, we struggle, we balance, we strive, we feel, we cry, we smile, we die, but we survive and we were meant to live. Emotions bring consciousness to our skeletons. Body speaks volumes. Body speaks truth to existence, to resilience. And is not, And will not be Created in your image.
6
volume V, issue 4, june 2012
dedicated to Joy de la Cruz
WEASTERN FRUIT
KAREEM
contributing writer
I.
When my people ask where can they find me I simply speak: “Yo, I’ll be at the beat.”
My face is a yellow peach—smooth skin curving over high cheekbones to close in a small chin, spread with a dash of light fuzz that tickles fingertips who test my flesh for firmness. When I bite my lip, a nectarine tang flows over my tongue to bubble at the corner of my mouth. My breath smells of hot mango on summer mornings that burst full of flaming sweet-salty sores by afternoon. Stringy rinds catch between my gums and the warm juice stains my chin.
II.
Even when they catch Me walking down the street I just repeat, “Yo, I’ll be at the beat.”
III.
They want to see They’ll ask me, “What that mean? Cuz they don’t know That I shine and flow supreme
IV.
That an instrumental Can be my everything The paper for my pen The water for my stream
V.
See, sometimes life brings tragedies And in those times we weep
VI.
Some pray to the one above Some switch off and turn asleep
VII.
Me? I turn to hip hop And sacred poetry I spark a new creation Rhyme and flow to my beats
VIII.
SO the next time you want to know Exactly where I’ll be Come find me in the studio While rapping to that beat
IX.
Peace.
be at the beat contributing writer
check out Kareem’s audio reading of this poem at
http://spaces.ucsd.edu/?page_id=379
TO AN INTERVIEW ANONYMOUS contributing writer
Feeling like an imposer in this clothes, this hair, this make-up. Like I am the Wolf in the Sheeps fur. Like I have no business in these clothes, w/ this hair or make-up. I’ve heard that these things don’t make who I am. I’m letting go of this guilt I feel for procrastinating because yesterday I allowed myself to process my feelings. I am forgiving myself for procrastinating because I put myself first yesterday. I still feel like i don’t deserve the attention/privilege these looks give me. I heard I need to be aware of stepping on other people’s toes I heard it’s ok to take up space.
LADY DIM SUM
In some regions where there is not enough summer heat, peaches grow in glass communes. Rows and rows of peach daughters bred in glass homes to become heavy with fruit, twiggy trunks never growing more than a few inches in circumference. The soil becomes brittle and bitter yet still they stand quietly, I wilt silently. My leaves shrivel as my labor ripens and becomes lost to distant places. Success!—they shout at my perfect shape. Excellence!—they cry at my sweetness. I want to do the same but all I have been taught is to smile and bow my stiff branches. When I peel the mass-manufactured stamp off my forehead, the blood rushes back into the ovular spot that has paled due to cultural erasure and social myth. I blink my double eyelids when asked if I’ve had surgery, if I wear golden-green contact lenses over the-only-natural black-brown eyes, or if I’m white on the inside. But my skin has never been under the knife or the laser, or smoothed with cream. The cleft of my mouth is slowly beginning to open. I make a great thump when I fall from the empty tree. I may be bruised but I’m still sweet.
My Story Has Two-and-aHalf Beginnings: It starts with a boy
who scooped blue fighting fish in bamboo baskets, while stroking the hinds of heavy-horned oxen, and pulling wriggling leeches out of his calves, after wading through rice paddies under the watch of cotton kites. He who saw the smoke rise over the Eastern jungles soon be incinerated by Mr. O. O like wide eyes O, crying mouths as they fled between metal and fire and smoke the same which took their father so he held his mother’s hand tight not know how, not knowing when only knowing a desire to survive.
LIZ NGUYEN
co-editor in chief
It starts with a girl
who slept with the mosquito curtains drawn to keep out the ghosts. Hot nights in the living room curled against her Grandma’s chest. Awakened by a deathly moaning, a scratching, from behind the screen door but instructued to close her eyes and wait for the morning for the moaning of sirens and biting artillery for helicopters rumbling her ear drums it’s wings in her hair She sprang inside and flew east, No, WEST! Because if not for the war, my parents would have never met. And I would never have been born. Why should it have to be?
The Piece That Was Supposed To Go Here: is sorta skanky. It flaunts some tooth-rotting bittersweetness of the over-priced sort and luscious, luscious hair and golden eyes. It’s sleeps around with the WC, on sheets of taro-colored paper And last year, it shared a shelf with two gay dudes unabashed for a whole summer and then some But
LIZ NGUYEN
co-editor in chief it never manages to find its way into your hands. I think it obstinately avoids that. It’s tried to sneak onto this page several times already. The first time-It was supposed to get in during the Fall But never made it into past the Send Button. The second-it wavered on the page bordered by my favorite color but was X’d at the last moment It feels too much love and therefore too much shame.
ENVIRONMENTAL RACISM student essays from ethn 103 special editor: dr. natchee blue bardnt
OCCUPYING
O N A CHICPARK
CARLOS R GUILLEN “Occupying” as a concept to address an injustice and demand redress is not something that was conceived last September in New York City by people that refer to themselves as the “99%.” In fact, communities of color have employed this tactic decades before “Occupy Wall Street” did. One only has to look at the images of African Americans and their white counterparts “occupying” lunch counters in Jim Crow South restaurants in their attempt to highlight the injustices that the African American community was facing in that part of the country. Similarly, the A Voyage to Health exhibition chronicles the occupation of 1976 and the continued struggle to reclaim Kanaloa Kaho’olawe, one of Hawaii’s islands, and Hawaiians’ traditional ways. The exhibition says that the occupation was initiated in an effort to bring “national attention to injustices suffered by Native Hawaiians” as a direct result of the “illegal overthrow of the Hawaiian monarchy” in January of 1893 by the U.S. Navy. This essay will focus on San Diego’s Barrio Logan and their struggle to reclaim their “barrio” (neighborhood or community). Specifically, I will focus on the occupation of the land that was to become Chicano Park and the community’s efforts to make the park the locus of their struggle to reclaim their barrio. I will argue
PRODUCE for CHANGE NAYIRI DONIKIAN
Historically, communities of color in the United States have been marginalized, exploited and deprived of equal resources, attention and access. One of the realms in which these communities have been negatively affected is through environmental racism, and the detrimental consequences to the health of individuals, the community, and the space. There are several instances, however, in which these communities have sought some form of reclaiming their space in the wake of environmental racism, and pursuing environmental justice. This can be pursued through any way that the community can use to re-connect to their environment on their own terms, by exercising their own agency. A great example of a community who has taken such efforts is that of West Oakland; the inhabitants of this part of Oakland especially have been severely impacted by environmental racism in the form of pollution and toxins from freeways and industry, but have actively sought to empower the community by way of community gardening projects. Environmental issues and racial issues are usually not perceived to have any connection to each other. However, these two issues intersect much more that they are shown in the hegemonic view of society. Pulido quotes Bullard’s definition of environmental racism as “any policy, practice, or directive that differentially affects or disadvantages (whether intended or unintended) individuals,
that Chicano Park, like Kanaloa Kaho’olawe, is the locus of the Chicana/o community’s fight against oppression and environmental racism and that it serves as the site of cultural reaffirmation. Some portions of this essay will be informed and based on first-hand personal experiences.
EL BARRIO/THE NEIGHBORHOOD Walking, driving or even just passing through Barrio Logan one cannot ignore the dilapidated houses, pot-holed streets, lack of vegetation and of course the freeways. But, however, Barrio Logan was not always this way. Until the end of World War II, Barrio Logan was an upper to middle class neighborhood with a thriving manufacturing industry. Soon after the end of World War II (WW II) the city of San Diego rezoned Barrio Logan from a strictly residential area to “mixed use” which paved the way for an influx of junkyards, wrecking operations and other industrial plants (Rosen and Fisher, 92-93). As a result many families were dislocated and businesses began to close which ushered in the construction of land consuming transportation facilities (Rosen and Fisher, 93). Zoning laws and ordinances only benefit those with enough “political and economic clout.” And they work to “zone against something rather than for something” (Bullard, 159). So, the zoning laws in San Diego worked to keep Chicanas/os out of predominantly white neighborhoods because of high property prices and rents that many could not afford because of economic barriers (Bullard, 158). This is a form of institutional racism that is underlined by white privilege. Racism, as defined by Laura Pulido, is “those practices and ideologies, carried out by structures, institutions, groups, or communities based on race or color” (17). Several communities of color experience severe acts of environmental racism that are truly detrimental, but go unnoticed. Environmental justice is how many of these communities seek to regain their space and take action to reinstate their environmental connection. The native Hawaiian community is a perfect example of environmental racism and colonialism intertwined. A lot of native Hawaiian tradition and culture is tied to the land and the environment, and when this was taken from them, many traditional ties were severed. Not only was their land stolen, but a lot of damage was done to the land (Voyage to Health). However, native Hawaiians did form a movement to get their land back and were eventually successful. They began engaging in cultural practices again such as traditional music, dance, traditional herbal, spiritual healing practices and ceremonies. Another cultural aspect that was heavily affected was the art of ancient voyaging. As the exhibit stated, “much of the valuable knowledge of voyaging was lost as a consequence of the suppression of traditional ways by American colonizers and missionaries and by the invasion, claimed annexation, and occupation of Hawaii by the U.S. government.” However, when the native Hawaiians regained control of their own land, one man, Nainoa Thompson, took the initiative to learn from an experienced voyager, and has been voyaging and teaching others ever since. According to the display, “voyaging now serves as a model for other efforts to improve the health of Native Hawaiians through the revitalization of cultural traditions” (Voyage to Health) This reconnection with ancient voyaging proved to be an extremely healthy and positive change culturally, in spite of the environmental racism and colonization that they suffered through. West Oakland is an area in Oakland, CA that is a predominantly low-income neighborhood, mostly made up of people of color. The community
and individuals, that reproduce racial inequality and systematically undermine the well being of racially subordinated populations” (15). So, by this definition one can reasonably infer that those in the dominant population benefit from the inequality of the subordinate populations. And these benefits come in the form of privileges afforded to all whites by virtue of being white (Pulido, 15). Barrio Logan shared the same fate as the community of East Los Angeles and other predominantly Chicana/o populated communities in the Southwest did. One of the policies, both state and federal, that adversely affected the Chicana/o communities of the Southwest United States post WWII was the construction of a massive interstate transportation system to accommodate a growing economy (Diaz, 150-151 and Rosen and Fisher, 94). Diaz relates in his book about the devastating fate of East Los Angeles as a result of the new federal and state highway system, likewise was the fate of Barrio Logan as a result of the construction of Interstate 5 (I-5). The construction of I-5 dissected the community of Barrio Logan and constructed an obvious line of demarcation that separated and dislocated many families (Rosen and Fisher, 94). The construction of the Coronado Bridge from 1965-1969 further negatively altered the aesthetic appeal of Barrio Logan (Rosen and Fisher, 94). Despite the displacement of families and the destruction of a community, the residents refused to leave and instead began an endless “struggle to reclaim their community” (Cockcroft, 80). OCCUPY CHICANO PARK
Since 1967 community activists in Barrio Losee OCCUPYING on page 9
in West Oakland has similarly gone through acts of environmental racism, as a result of capitalist pursuit of profit. The Port of Oakland, a main industrial base, is in West Oakland, where trucks and ships travel to and from, everyday. West Oakland is “surrounded on all sides by freeways and has constant truck traffic from the Port of Oakland” (City Slicker). All of this mechanical and industrial activity has increased pollution levels significantly, which has had detrimental effects on the health of the population. For adults, health issues such as cancer and heart disease are very prevalent (Kang 4). For children, asthma is the biggest issue; according to the Project Censored article, “children living in West Oakland are seven times more likely to get asthma than any other child in the state.” This figure is astonishing; it goes to show the intensity of levels of toxic chemicals and pollution in the air. According to the City Slicker website, “the EPA gave the air quality a rating of 13 on a scale to 100” and that “there are over 300 hazardous materials storage sites and a prevalence of severe toxins.” These kinds of statistics make it extremely clear the amount of damage being projected onto this community. The damage being caused by the plethora of industry at the Port of Oakland is benefitting the pockets of capitalist America, or in other words, affluent White America. This is exemplary of White privilege, which is a “name [for] a social system that works to the benefit of Whites” while “[reproducing] racial inequality and systematically undermine[s] the well-being of racially subordinated populations” (Pulido 13,15). The community of West Oakland is predominantly Black, with significant percentages of Latinos and Asians as well. There has historically been residential segregation, and attempts to keep certain neighborhoods White while “Black communities have been restricted to areas Whites deemed undesirable” (Pulido 16). Non-White groups are not regarded with see CHANGE on page 10
ENVIRONMENTAL RACISM studen FROM
HAWAII TO OAKLAND: environmental racism & health STEPHANIE ROBITAILLE Environmental justice is not solely the guarantee of a pollution free environment – it is also the safeguarding of a community’s health. For indigenous Hawaiians, health includes a person’s environment (land, water, oceans, and air) as well as their body, mind, spirit, and spiritual beliefs. The founders of Planting Justice, an Oakland-based non-profit organization that turns backyards into edible landscapes, agrees with this more inclusive conception of health. Indigenous Hawaiians and Planting Justice recognize the importance of a connection to the physical environment to ensure the physical, mental and cultural health of communities affected by environmental racism. The health of indigenous Hawaiians deteriorated from America’s annexation of Hawaii in the late nineteenth century on. With new fruit and sugar plantations in Hawaii came the demand for foreign laborers, who brought with them their native foods, which led to the decline of the traditional Hawaiian diet. Soon after, spam became an enormous part of the Hawaiian diet with the expansion of American military presence in the islands. Diet is more than simply food to many native groups in America – a member of the Gwich’in tribe from Alaska describes their diet as, “…a part of us, it’s who we are…” The change in the traditional Hawaiian diet, as well as an increasingly sedentary lifestyle, caused various health problems within the indigenous community, particularly obesity and hypertension. Hawaiians’ cultural health was affected as well: the island of Kanaloa Kaho’olawe was occupied by the American military, preventing Hawaiians from practicing important cultural rites to maintain their connection to their ancestors.
Thus the political colonization of Hawaii led not only to a destruction of political sovereignty, but the destruction of Hawaiian health (physical and cultural) as well. Beginning in the 1970s, there was a cultural renaissance within the indigenous Hawaiian population. Various health studies, such as the Wai’anae Diet program, instituted a diet of pre-Western foods or modern equivalents, and in nearly all cases cholesterol and triglyceride levels dropped, along with participants’ weight. In addition, traditional healers known as kahunas were seen as legitimate once again, using herbal remedies and massage therapy to restore individuals’ health. Kanaloa Kaho’olawe was occupied by Hawaiians and opened for cultural and educational use once more (after significant struggle). The Polynesian Voyaging Society, founded by Nainoa Thompson, taught (and teaches) traditional methods of voyage and exploration to young Hawaiians. Thompson taught Hawaiians not only how to voyage, but to respect and care for themselves and each other, and for Malan honua, or Island Earth. The voyaging (and the aforementioned programs) aimed to restore both cultural and physical health to young Hawaiians. The cultural renaissance demonstrated that while obvious pollution had not occurred in Hawaii, environmental racism had still deprived indigenous groups of their traditional foods and rites, and significantly damaged their health. Environmental justice had to include more than just individual physical well-being. The Hawaiian cultural movements are similar to that of the Hmong people living in Minnesota, who hunt and gather on public lands to establish a connection with nature, which allows for cultural healing. The Hmong were forced to flee their home in Laos, so use of public land, “… gives Hmong a sense that they are preserving their culture by connecting with aspects of their time-honored way of life and the beliefs and values associated with it.” This is nearly identical to the goals of Hawaiians, who similarly used a physical connection to the land to maintain cultural health. Like indigenous Hawaiians, Planting Justice aims to establish physical as well as cultural health via a connec-
NATIVE COMMUNITIES EMILY POLACHEK Looking at the A Voyage to Health display in UCSD’s Biomedical Library and how Native Hawaiians have reestablished their relationship to the environment, this paper will examine the Campo Kumeyaay Nation in San Diego County as another native community that has been impacted by environmental racism, but are finding cultural and creative solutions to improve their health, revitalize their cultures and more generally empower themselves. Out of all the minority groups, native communities have a special connection to the land that identifies who they are and where they belong. Reversely, within the context of colonization and racism, this identification with the land has become a force of alienating people from their environments; simultaneously removing them from their cultures and ways of life. By comparing two native communities in the U.S., the Native Hawaiians and the Campo Kumeyaay Native Americans, this paper will explore how historically the degradation of their environments has degraded their health and suppressed their culture due to Western/ American domination and institutional racism, and more importantly how these communities have organized in subtle forms of environmental justice action to restore their rightful environments and ultimately their traditions. The foreign domination over Native Hawaiian lands for hundreds of years has resulted in a sacrifice of health on the part of the Native Hawaiians. The first quote found on the A Voyage to Health display reads: “Of all racial groups living in Hawaii, Native Hawaiians are the racial group with the highest proportion of risk factors leading to illness, disability, and premature death. Statistics reveal a high risk profile for Native Hawaiians, with the bulk of them having one of the following risk factors: sedentary life, obesity, hypertension, smoking and acute drinking.” (Hawaii Data Book 2006) It is evident from the emphasis placed on Native Hawaiian communities experiencing the highest proportion of risk factors that this decline in health is an issue of historical acts of environmental racism. For example, in the late 1800’s sugarcane and pineapple plantations were introduced by Americans and thus brought forth a large labor force of immigrants with their own foods and cooking styles causing a decline in
tion to the physical environm make organic food accessible have been deprived of acces racism. Oakland, California, community, has few opportu to obtain affordable, nutritio due to environmental racism only to those with white priv existence of “…hegemonic st ologies that reproduce white whites may not intend to hu color, they still obtain social, efits by virtue of their whiten tended into the “food movem accessible only to those who neglects low-income commu The African-American popul city a notably negative conno diverse racial demographics the “racialization of space.” P explicit or implicit racial conno es a threshold of “blackness”, Oakland is seen only as a “b a venue for organic food, (so those with white privilege) an of color of good health. Planting Justice aims to re edible landscaping and thus, Oakland residents. Planting Ju food justice education, which ing and permaculture design, arts, folklore, and people’s encourage cross-cultural allia riences, and learning local hi Black Panthers, etc.) Thus it is Planting Justice promotes, bu ing residents about their loc the environment. Another p
see HEALTH
RECLAIMING THEIR HEALTH, CULTURE,
traditional Hawaiian diet (A Voyage to Health). Also the introduction of goats to the Hawaiian Islands by Western Europeans undermined the ecological balance, resulting in significant soil erosion (A Voyage to Health). In the interest of agriculture, both events exploited the environment leading to a decrease in Hawaiian knowledge of nature as relational. Nature as relational refers to how we define nature and what it means through social processes, identities, and relations to one another (Lecture 2/6). Therefore, nature identified within a colonial context as agricultural, limiting, and to be controlled, erases Native Hawaiian identities in relation to the land and limits each individual’s agency. It is this loss or erasure that contributes to the highest percentage of health issues experienced by Native Hawaiian communities as opposed to other racial groups. However, starting from the 1970’s the Polynesian Voyaging Society (PVS) has made it their mission to “perpetuate the art and science of traditional Polynesian voyaging through experiential educational programs that inspire students and their communities to respect and care for themselves, each other, and their natural and cultural environments” (A Voyage to Health). Agency or “the power of populations confronting environmental inequalities to shape the outcomes of a conflict,” (Pellow, p.514) is being restored as Native Hawaiians choose traditional practices over practices imposed by American colonizers, missionaries, and occupation. This agency is also applied when choosing to use the native language to perform traditional activities as a way to revitalize the culture that had been suppressed. For example, ho’olomiloni (massage), la’au lapa’au (herbal medicine), and ho’oponopono (conflict resolution) are all terms to describe a concept specific to Hawaiian healing and the notion of health as being physical, mental, and medicinal(A Voyage to Health). Another term aloha aina meaning “love of the land” invokes a cultural and spiritual practice significant of the native language in expressing the relational knowledge of nature, land, and people that Native Hawaiians have possessed for centuries. The use of a native language itself has recapitulated the mission statement of the PVS, thus the reintroduction of voyaging has become a gateway for the expression of other cultural practices embedded within the same fabric. As another native community in America, the Campo
Kumeyaay have also been exper tence through a redistribution of of the environment. To give som Kumeyaay originally occupied m and Northern Mexico expanding gions. Today they consist of 12 r ing closest to the Mexico border Spanish, Mexican, and American o have been made to the environme dered the Kumeyaay as a “peopl nolly, Meet the People). In other come a “national sacrifice area” (G which they perpetually bear the b consumption habits and agricultu occupation by outsiders for cattle as in the Native Hawaiian exam Kumeyaay relationship to the land burden upon Kumeyaay culture. A that contributes to this sacrifice h agency but dismissed their sover hundreds of Indians are denied or their rights to claim the land t thousands of years due to the inst treaties by the U.S. government. Similar to the use of Native about health, the Campo Kumeya concepts or terms and land ma establish their relationship to th lent to reviving the practice of vo communities is the performance Kumeyaay culture. The Kuseyaay that tells tribe members when i area, to burn an area, or to har Homeland). In 1990 the Campo K own Environmental Protection Ag it with the spirit of the Kuseyaay edge of traditional practices wit Strategy). Their recent Wind Pow sustainable energy for their com ego residences, is evidence of “cy
see COMMUNITES
nt essays from ethn 103 special editor: dr. natchee blue bardnt
ment. The organization aims to e to all, especially those who ss because of environmental a heavily African-American unities for inner-city residents ous food. This deprivation is m: organic food is accessible vilege. White privilege is the tructures, practices and idees’ privileged status.” While urt or disadvantage people of , economic and political benness. White privilege has exment” – edible landscaping is o can pay a premium, which unities of color like Oakland. lation of Oakland earns the otation, despite its relatively – a phenomenon known as Physical places in society have otations. Once an area reach”, it is irretrievably “black.” As black” place, it is not seen as omething that is reserved for nd thus deprives its residents
ectify the situation by making , organic food, accessible to ustice’s programs incorporate h includes instruction in cook, as well as culturally relevant histories. Its programs also ances, analyzing urban expeistory (United Farm Workers, s not only physical health that ut cultural as well, by educatcal history and connection to program, EAT GRUB, aims to
H on page 10
AND HOMELAND
riencing an erasure of exisf their land and degradation me background, the Campo most of Southern California g from coastal to inland rereservations, the Campo bein San Diego. As a result of occupation, several changes ent and culture that has renle without a country” (Conr words their home has beGrinde & Johnson, p. 205) in burden of society’s resource ural needs. For example, the e grazing and farming, such mple, changes the nature of d and this in turn becomes a A systematic form of racism has not only restricted their reignty as a nation, in which d their rights of citizenship they have been living on for titutional failure of ratifying
Hawaiian language to talk aay tribe also uses cultural anagement practices to rehe environment. An equivaoyaging in Native Hawaiian of the “Kuseyaay” in Campo y is a specialist in the tribe it is time to move from an rvest different plants” (Our Kumeyaay established their gency (EPA), and embodied y by combining old knowlth modern technology (Our wer Project to generate more mmunity and other San Diycling”—a concept of native
S on page 10
› OCCUPYING from page 7 gan had demanded that the city build a park under the bridge and in 1968 the city allocated 1.8 acres of land for park use (Rosen and Fisher, 99 and Cockcroft, 81). However, on May 20, 1970 as Barrio Logan resident, Mario Solis, was on his way to school at San Diego City College, he noticed that tractors and workers were clearing the area under the bridge. Assuming that they were there to clear the way to for a park he stopped to inquire and ascertain whether in fact that was what they were doing. However, a construction worker told him that they were clearing the area for a new Highway Patrol substation and a 30 car parking lot (Cockcroft, 82). Obviously incensed over the news, Solis, once he got to school, informed the Chicana/o student activist group MEChA about what was going on. City College’s MEChA, who had been working closely with Barrio Logan community activists regarding the park, spread the news to other campuses and planned a picket line for the next day. However, the turn-out the next day was not as big as was expected and uneventful. But, on May 22, 1970 after many local high schools walked out of class and marched to the area under the bridge and were joined by hundreds of Barrio Logan residents the construction crews halted all work and left. Soon after residents began to show up with shovels, rakes and picks and began to build themselves a park (Cockcroft, 82). In order to understand why a park meant so much to the residents of Barrio Logan and why they reacted the way they did, one needs to understand and put into context the circumstances that this and other communities like it faced and continue to face. Because Barrio Logan, like many other barrios, is densely populated it does not provide much, if any, open space for recreation. Parks serve as a place where people can get away and relax (Diaz, 145). And because Barrio Logan, like other barrios, was and is not allocated “sufficient resources to provide comprehensive recreational services” it is not surprising that the residents of this community took it upon themselves to build the park that the city had, for a long time, promised them (Diaz, 151). This is also evidence of a community taking back what was taken from them by means of force or deceit. Similarly to the occupation of Kanaloa Kaho’olawe, where these native Hawaiians occupied this island to reclaim their traditional ways that were lost when their monarch was overthrown in 1893 by U.S. Naval forces (Voyage). The community of Barrio Logan was aware that their land had already once before been taken from them as a result of the Mexican-American War of 1846-1848 and the signing of the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo-which ceded a major part of northern Mexico or the current Southwest United States including parts of Oregon, Colorado, and Utah (del Castillo, 40). And now, this time around, they felt that the state of California and the City of San Diego had deceitfully taken the land that the city had already promised the community it was going to convert into
a park. So, in an effort to save face, not from a faux pas that the community committed but rather from the presumptuousness of local and state politicians in thinking that the community was too humble or obedient to not react and respond to the underhanded method of building the highway patrol substation. CULTURAL REAFFIRMATION The murals at Chicano Park (employed to reaffirm and preserve Chicana/o culture and revitalize a community [Cockcroft, 98]) are a form of community testimony (or witnessing) against oppression and environmental racism (Kaalund, 80). According to Kaalund, “to witness is to share publically one’s spiritual belief in the form of personal stories that attest to divine intervention and assistance” (80). This is evident in the murals of Chicano Park. Although the majority of the murals were painted by professional muralists that were not residents of Barrio Logan, their art was an echo of what the community believed in and what they were fighting for (Cockcroft, 98). The murals of Chicano Park invoke the spirituality of both pre-Columbian gods and Christianity. One of the first murals that were painted in Chicano Park (1973-1978) depicted the Aztec Earth god, Coatlicue (1973), and the Feathered Serpent, Quetzalcoatl (1973) and the Catholic Virgen de Guadalupe (the Virgin Mary, 1978). So these murals are testimonies to the residents’ historical and cultural past and affirmation to their cultural present. For the residents of Barrio Logan and the Chicana/o community at large for that matter, it is obviously impossible to demarcate their past from their present, their Indian from their European. The last phase of mural painting is dedicated to community pride (Rosen and Fisher, 103). This is made evident in the murals titled “Varrio Si, Yonkes No! (Neighborhood yes, Junkyards No!, 1977) and “Varrio Logan” (1977) (Rosen and Fisher, 103).
CONCLUSION The residents of Barrio Logan like the native Hawaiians occupied their lands to reclaim them for their people and to exemplify and in a way preserve their traditions and culture. Whereas the native Hawaiians occupied the island to reclaim their cultural diets and traditional ways of gathering food, thus a focus on physical health, the community of Barrio Logan occupied Chicano Park for mental health reasons. The community felt that they were entitled to land in order to build a park so that families could have a site where they can get away and release some stress and an area where their children could play. Chicano Park was an early example of the Environmental Justice’s movement that, in this case, fought to preserve mental health. The murals at Chicano Park were made for and inspired by the residents of Barrio Logan. The murals belong to that community to remind them that they can make and create an environment of their own in the least likely of places and infused with their culture and traditions.
WORKS CITED A Voyage to Health, exhibit, Bio-Medical Library, UCSD, February 2012. Barnd, Natchee, “On Toxic Lives I” (University of California, San Diego, January 27th, 2012). Bullard, Robert D. “Environmental Justice in the 21st Century: Race Still Matters.” Phylon. Vol. 49, No. ¾ (Autumn-Winter, 2001), 151171. Bengston , David and others, “Listening to Neglected Voices: Hmong and Public Lands in Minnesota and Wisconsin,” Society and Natural Resources 21, no. 10 (2008): 882. City Slicker Farms. Oakland, CA. <http://www.cityslickerfarms. org/> Cockcroft, Eva S. “The Story of Chicano Park,” Aztlan 15 (Spring 1984), 79–103. Connolly, Michael. Meet the People. Smithsonian National Museum of the American Indian. American Indian Responses to Environmental Challenges. Video: <http://www.nmai.si.edu/ environment/kumeyaay/People.aspx>. 23 Feb. 2012. del Castillo, Richard G. “The American Colonization of San Diego.” Chicano San Diego. Ed. by Richard Griswold del Castillo. Tucson: The University of Arizona Press. 2007. Diaz, David R. Barrio Urbanism: Chicanos, planning and American cities. New York: Routledge, 2005. Di Gangi, Joseph, Drumbeat for Mother Earth, produced by Joseph Di Gangi, Amon Giebel, Tom Goldtooth, and Jackie Warledo, directed by Joseph Di Gangi and Amon Giebel, 54 min., Bullfrog Films, 2000, film.
Evans, Mei Mei, “’Nature’ and Environmental Justice,” in The Environmental Justice Reader: Politics, Poetics, and Pedagogy, ed. Joni Adamson, Mei Mei Evans, and Rachel Stein (University of Arizona Press, 2002), 183. Glave, Dianne, Rooted in the Earth: Reclaiming the African American Environmental Heritage (Chicago: Lawrence Hill Books, 2010). Grinde, Donald, and Bruce Johansen. “The Navajos and Sacrifice.” The Multicultural Southwest: A Reader. Ed. Gabriel Melendez. University of Arizona, 2001. 204-15. Print. --“Women and Gardening: A Patch of Her Own.” Rooted in the earth: reclaiming the African American environmental heritage. 1st ed. Chicago: Lawrence Hill Books, 2010. Pp. 115-125. Kaalund, Valerie Ann. “Witness to Truth: Black Women Heeding the Call for Environmental Justice.” New Perspectives on Environmental Justice: Gender, Sexuality and Activism, edited by Rachel Stein. New Jersey: Rutgers University Press (2004) 78-92. Kang, Helen H. “A Case Study of Environmental Justice Work in West Oakland” (2009). Publications. Paper 21. <http://digitalcommons. law.ggu.edu/pubs/21> Krakoff, Sarah. “Tribal Sovereignty and Environmental Justice.” Justice and Natural Resources. Eds. Bryner Kenney and Mutz. Island Press. 2001. McGregor, Davianna, et al, A Voyage To Health. Exhibition by National Library of Medicine, National Institutes of Health. Hosted by University of California, San Diego, Biomedical Library. Mills, Charles W. “Black Trash.” Faces of Environmental Racism: see WORKS CITED on page 15
ENVIRONMENTAL RACISM student essays from ethn 103 special editor: dr. natchee blue bardnt › HEALTH from page 8
establish connections to the earth and ancestors by building garden beds for those who can’t afford them. The garden beds provide connection to the earth and one’s ancestors and an opportunity to reduce diet-related diseases and carbon dioxide emissions. Thus Planting Justice, like the movements of the Hawaiian renaissance, simultaneously emphasizes physical and cultural health through a connection with the earth – Oakland residents require cultural environmental justice as well as physical health to thrive. Planting Justice continues a tradition of African Americans using gardening as a means to cultural and physical health. Author Dianne Glave argues that African-American women sought a variety of things through gardening throughout American history – to create a cultural space, to find ethical or spiritual enlightenment, and to supplement their families’ diets. Gardening was an opportunity to exercise agency, however little, and thus a method of survival in the face of racism, environmental or otherwise. By providing Oakland residents with the opportunity to continue this cultural practice, Planting Justice allows for not only an improvement in bodily health through organic food, but also a cultural healing by reconnecting Oakland residents with cultural traditions. Voyage to Health and Planting Justice are helpful not only in demonstrating how a connection to the physical environment can provide for cultural and physical health, but also in identifying subtle forms of environmental racism. The necessity of diet programs and revival of traditional healing to promote physical and cultural health demonstrates how the destruction of the traditional Hawaiian diet was a form of environmental racism. Indigenous culture and diet was devalued and replaced with Western culture and food. Americans assumed that the Western conceptions of food and health were automatically superior to that of indigenous Hawaiians. As demonstrated by the restoration of Hawaiian health after the reinstitution of the traditional › COMMUNITIES from page 8
people’s inherited scientific and not just spiritual understanding of the environment and the “Native concept—all things are connected—is basically equivalent to the science of ecology” (Pierotti & Wildcat, p.6). Because this concept of “cycling” in Native American cultures does not fit the white paradigm of quantifiable, measured data and scientific method, it allows the EPA to over-look environmental risk assessments and permit environmentally degrading practices. Therefore, by establishing their own EPA, the Campo Kumeyaay have empowered themselves in reclaiming civil rights to their lands, reaffirming their Nation’s sovereignty, and enabling health practices unique to their culture. In contrast to the Native Hawaiian response to environmental racism inflicted upon their community, the Campo Kumeyaay’s experience explicitly addresses an issue of “sovereign environmental justice”. Sovereign environmental › CHANGE from page 7
foods, Western health was no improvement for indigenous Hawaiians. This is not an uncommon phenomenon in the environmental racism narrative. Raymond Pierotti and Daniel Wildcat argue in their piece “Being Native to This Place” that native peoples in America “…understood the basic principles [and] had…a substantial body of knowledge relative to [ecology and evolution] well before Europeans…” Because native culture and ideas were “native,” they were automatically assumed to be useless, and the same was done to the indigenous Hawaiians and their practices. The ignoring and devaluing of native ideas about the environment, nature and health is a form of environmental racism. Planting Justice’s mission exposes the exclusion of people of color from the organic and local food narrative. The local food movement is assumed to be a white space, not the realm of people of color. This is highly similar to the attitude of American society towards nature in general: Americans automatically assume nature to be a “…white, male, and heterosexual” space. As a result, it’s not a safe area for those of different races, and this phenomenon has clearly carried on into the organic movement, which emphasizes gardening and thus a connection to nature. Both spaces are assumed as white, depriving communities of color of environmental benefits, cultural connection to the land, and overall good health. This deprivation is an obvious form of environmental racism. The indigenous Hawaiian renaissance and Planting Justice demonstrate that those affected by environmental racism require not only the ensuring of physical health through the maintenance of traditional diets or organic food, but also the need for a cultural connection to the environment. This connection may be through the practice of ancient rites, or interaction directly with the land, through growing foods, or voyaging across the earth. Not only this, but the two movements also demonstrate the insidious and pervasive nature of environmental racism, and that environmental justice must be equally complex to combat it.
justice is environmental justice within the context of supporting Native American sovereignty (Krakoff). It therefore must involve both “environmental degradation and the undermining of self-determination” in order for environmental injustice to occur (Krakoff, p. 164). Using the Campo Wind Power Project as an example of this, the inability for Native Americans to collect tax credits “like a private company would” or to “levy taxes the way a government would” because of their sovereignty, has prevented them from pursuing larger renewable energy projects (Standen, “Tribal Lands Struggle To Bring Clean Power Online”). The injustice is apparent in the inaccessibility to monetary funding that will contribute towards the tribe’s economic self-determination. In this case, sovereignty has been used against the Campo Kumeyaay tribe from improving the reservation environment and thus from having full sovereignty because of these institutional restrictions. Although tribes are eligible for “stimulus money” (Standen),
value, and therefore seem available to be violated, degraded, and exploited. Mills discusses how “blackness signifies dirt, death, evil,...sex, shit,...diabolism, savagery, lack of civilization; and the most manual or manual labor” (83). These severely negative connotations extend to the space that Blacks (have been and are forced to) occupy. Because the idea of the American polity is socially constructed to be inclusive in ideology but exclusive in practice, Whites take the position of the true body polity while Blacks and others are deemed unworthy, non-normative. Thus, not only are “blacks are not part of the ‘we’ who are facing...environmental problem[s]” but “there is a sense in which blacks themselves are an environmental problem” (Mills 84). These hegemonic societal connotations of the Black population make it difficult for Black communities to acquire resources, political attention or traditional political power, and protection. Because Whites benefit from acts of environmental racism, whether intentional or not, they make no active changes. Despite the detrimental effects that these acts of environmental racism have had on West Oakland, several community gardening programs have been established to reclaim the racialized space. There are many different organizations that have implemented these projects at sites all over West Oakland. In addition to these, there are also some organizations that have done gardening projects that feed into grocery stores that were opened to serve the West Oakland community, specifically because there is a lack of full service grocery stores in that part of town. One of the main organizations taking part in this community gardening movement is City Slicker Farms. They began to grow their own food “that was desperately needed in a neighborhood with a very high poverty rate, and liquor store on nearly every block but no grocery stores” (City Slicker). Community gardening became a way to not only bring in fresh produce to the people of West Oakland, but also presented a way in which community members could become re-engaged with, and exert their agency over, their own environment. As the City Slicker website says, “the City Slicker Farms
this reinforces the idea of “domestic dependent nations” in which their sovereignty is not recognized and Congress to has control over their existence (Lecture, 2/15). Ultimately, the Campo Kumeyaay tribe faces a paradox in which they are both acknowledged and unacknowledged for their sovereignty, making it more difficult to reclaim their rights to the land. It is evident that both native communities have been or still are victims to environmental racism in the suppression of their cultures through the degradation of their lands. However, by revitalizing or reemerging traditional practices in health and land management, the Native Hawaiians and Campo Kumeyaay have also demonstrated environmental justice as a source of empowerment and cultural identity reclamation. Through the examination of agency and tribal sovereignty respectively, each community has found a way to move beyond the margins and into actively shaping environmental justice policies.
concept had immediate appeal to the West Oakland community because it built on a rich history of farming in African American and Latino families.” This history includes that which is discussed by Glave; she elaborates on how slaves gardened as a way to create agency within their limited scope of freedom (Glave 120, 116). The women “manipulated and interpreted the spaces for sustenance, comfort, joy, and sometimes profit” (Glave 125). Although they were forced to work the land, whether during slavery or afterwards, they found ways to reap their own benefits and establish unique ties to the land, to agriculture, to the environment. As Glave says, they “actively sought healing, kinship, resources, escape, refuge, and salvation in the land” (8). They were able to somewhat turn their situation of exploitation and forced subordination into one of agency. These are the exact historical aspects that organizations like City Slicker Farms are trying to recreate and reconnect to. They have several programs that they run, which are: Community Market Farms, Backyard Gardens, a Farm Stand, a greenhouse, and Urban Farming Education Programs. The Community Market Farms are spaces throughout the neighborhood that were previously abandoned or unused, and were transformed by City Slicker Farms into gardens in which they can grow food and sell it to people in the community. The produce they grow is “distributed on a donation-only basis to ensure that all residents are able to afford healthpromoting foods, and no one is turned away due to a lack of funds” (City Slicker). This shows the goals of the program are consistent with the needs of the community; by the community, for the community. Programs like those run by City Slicker Farms are exactly what communities like West Oakland need; they provide some sort of environmental rejuvenation for an area which has been, and is continuously, marginalized and disregarded. Community gardening is a positive, healthy way for marginalized communities to re-establish a tie to the environment that capitalist White America has attempted to destroy. It is about using the resources the community does have, and making the most of them while empowering the people and bringing healthy change where it is needed.
uc san diego
coffee REGINE REYES co-editor in chief
11
volume V, issue 4, june 2012
tu eres mi otro yo REGINE REYES
RAGE
THE CALLOUT QUEEN contributing writer
How dare you.
today i was rushing to class worried about my ass being too much and my shorts being not enough, the regular old hate-the-way-i-jiggle routine.
co-editor in chief
she asks: “how do you know?”
How dare you.
but in between OPEC and embargos, i looked down at my thighs in all their softness, “haven’t shaved in a week but it’s ok” stubble, realizing that this skin, tanlines and all, looks like caramel macchiato: brown and tan fading into each other, deliciously.
resonance
recognize your own power, privilege and positionality.
all those bad thoughts faded with the heady scent of freshly pressed coffee; its bitter, sweet, creamy, acidic tossed between my mouth and hers; lipstick stains on mugs and glass; every stare, every laugh, every smile across a too-small table, over a book, hidden behind a paper cup filled with warmth. i am squishy, uneven, and my browness is a gift from the ancestors, cultivated by friends who enjoy picnics, a product of healing in the sunshine and self-care runs in the forest.
because here encircled in your arms i see in lak ech our hearts close enough to synchronize we are: scent intertwining heat doubling eyes meeting, hinting, daring legs, arms, hair tangling delicious frictions of course i know because right now you linger in my skin you are my other self
in between daily hurting/haunting/healing it is so difficult and all the more necessary to remember: as i am, i am already enough
on the real ANONYMOUS
contributing writer
been sitting on these thoughts for months and weeks, knowing that i’ll get some shit for it and that i know these people but,
i don’t understand queer male-identified/male assigned at birth folks who self-identify as gender non-conforming, yet engage in rape culture, derail community accountability with “educate nicely” rhetoric, name drop and glorify (strong) womyn of color, but still still still lean into male privilege. patriarchy has nothing to do with being gender non-conforming, it helps create gender and the gender binary.
then i hear bullshit from community members downplaying the experience of being triggered. i empathize if you feel offended, but that is not the same as being triggered. when one statement, one question, or if like me, a certain type of lighting, causes you to relive traumatic experiences and disassociate from your body, then you can accurately say you’ve been triggered. i hate it when people reappropriate the language of survivors of sexual violence to evade community accountability by hiding behind the specter of being “triggered.” shut the fuck up. i think we all need to re/evaluate the ways we pass on knowledge about being triggered. also, how do folks go through months of preparation/rehearsal and not do any about homophobic, misogynistic, experience-flattening bullshit? how the fuck are they going pull off the shit they said they will do? and you wonder why folks don’t wanna work with you? and they wonder why there is a radical peminist, queer/ed branch of organizers who don’t feel safe/ served in what is truly, their, community?
once again, my tenuous inclusion in the “community” forces me to remain silent. they don’t deserve it yet i still smile and wave at them. i don’t trust them. i do not want to work with them. but they have power and networks i don’t have. they are still there, they are (we are all) still growing/learning, and it won’t be the last time fucked up shit happens. i hope folks can speak truer and timelier than i have. and they, like me, are lucky enough to find ways to be and people to be around.
How dare you speak about allyship and yet you do not How dare you speak, write and theorize about coalition
building and yet you do not realize how your actions and the impact of your actions prevent communities (of color) from working together. How dare you talk about the history of a community without
even having knowledge or a good grasp of that community’s history. How dare you talk about preventing the erasure of some
histories yet you engage in thse same actions.
How dare you think and accuse me of being angry without
even thinking, contextualizing and understanding my anger.
How dare you talk about creating a good support system yet
you do not realize that your actions have caused support systems to crumble and deteriorate. How dare you talk about community and yet you create
divisions and sides and take community member X, Y, and Z and create your own community.
How dare you talk about consent and yet use X, Y and Z’s
names without their consent.
How dare you think I do not value our relationship because
of this and yet you do not even recognize the value and worth of my rage and anger and the energy I have spent and consumed doing this. How dare you talk about being in solidarity WITH other
communities and yet you fail to recognize the fact that you are NOT standing with those communities, but rather you are standing IN FRONT and are speaking FOR those communities. How dare you talk about giving the women of my nation
agency and yet you fail to recognize that my mother, sister, aunts, grandmothers and ancestors have been actively fighting and resisting for years, decades and centuries. How dare you talk about transparency yet you make covert
decisions that affect the community in ways that leave it less transparent. How dare you talk about accountability and yet you do not
hold yourself accountable, leaving all the labor of checking you to the people you wish to ally yourself with, and failing to also recognize how much energy, and space this takes. How dare you talk about meeting people where they are at,
yet you do not realize how condescending and arrogant you come off.
How dare you critique a culture without having a good grasp
of the culture you are critiquing.
How dare you think that I am just ranting, failing to recognize
that I am coming from a place of deep hurt and love.
How dare you think that this is violent and yet you do not
realize how many steps have been taken and how many conversations have occurred to prevent this from happening. How dare you think that I am speaking for others and yet you
do not recognize that I am speaking from my own and only my own experiences and how your actions have affected me. How dare you. How dare you.
12
volume V, issue 4, june 2012
, g n li a e H , h t w o r G SPACES of t n e m r e w o p m E d n Learning, a LINDA CHANG
could not do everything on my own, but I was afraid to ask for help. I appreciated how my co-workers contributing writer offered to help because I would not have had the courage to ask. My brand new shoe broke that day, was shocked when I was appointed SPACES Cycle too, because I ran around setting up. At the film 5 APSA Community Retention Coordinator. It screening, nearly 60 participants came out, including was the first time the position title included both members from NSU, MSA, and community resource “APSA” (Asian and Pacific Islander Student Alliance) Fred Korematsu Day During Winter Break, I listed out 30 events centers. In addition, the San Diego Chair for Justice and the word “community.” I could not even retain myself at UCSD, so I thought it was a mistake to I wanted to see happen. My first event was for Japanese American Citizens League came out to be given the retention component. I accepted the coordinating rides to SDSU for Fred Korematsu the event, too. During the Q&A, participants asked position and, looking back now, it was one of the Day. I knew I had to make my event very visible so questions not only about the film, but also about I had the PC theater marquee and PC TV run my the director’s political identity, internships, and advice best decisions of my life. I spent Fall Quarter attending other Asian and event info. In addition, I had the bookstore arrange on career paths. This event made me aware of the Pacific Islander American (APIA) board meetings. a table display for it too. I never thought posting potential to continue the dialogue with respective I wanted to know the organizations that were fliers around campus would take so much energy organizations and community building. In addition, included in APIA. I found myself attending 3 meetings and time but it definitely did. I started posting fliers I would not have known about the empowering a week, which I could not handle. However, for the anywhere I wanted because my goal was to create community work that exists if not for this event. As the end of Winter Quarter approached, meetings I was able to attend, I discovered APIA visibility. In addition, I challenged myself by making announcements in my classes. I never thought I finally was able to book the main yellow display organizations are not “apolitical” as they are often I would be able to speak in front of such a large case after submitting the paperwork since Fall stereotyped. I discovered that they have their own audience, but I did. I didn’t make announcements in Quarter and literally calling, emailing, and chasing amazing retention and access programs, but they my classes just once, but for every program I had in down the marketing director to give me the status do not label them as such. For example, NSU takes winter. of my paperwork. I knew I had to take advantage annual trips to Manzanar while VSA coordinated Fred Korematsu Day was when I learned it was of the display case since it had great visibility. Winter their own high school conference. These meetings very difficult working with student organizations, quarter was when Jeremy Lin exploded onto the and experiences with the APIA orgs also allowed especially when there is bad communication. I media and there was obvious racism. I was very me to become aware of the internal racism within found myself emailing the organizers asking for their uncomfortable with the idea of facilitating a deep the APIA community, such as labeling all APIA numbers, which they would never give. I did not discussion because I was insecure about my inability organizations as apathetic. Furthermore, UCSD understand why they would not support my efforts to combat ignorant comments. and other universities label “Asian” as one group in making their annual program visible and convenient During that same week of planning for the when considering retention rates. This “Asian” label since I had SPACES fund the transportation. This discussion event, I had the second meeting with lumps international and 5th generations with 1st program was when I realized my friends are my Penny Rue. At this meeting, she specifically stated generation children of refugees and those of lowsupporters, especially when I needed to find drivers her focus was on Black/African Americans and income backgrounds. last minute and my 2 friends agreed to drive. That Mexican American/Latin@s. I pointed out that she Also, Fall Quarter was when I was invited to moment I realized that my friendships at UCSD should also focus on 1st generation, low-income, join the Student Advisory steering committee were not shallow or superficial. Overall, I had 20 and especially Southeast Asian students, but she for campus climate that would meet with Vice participants including 2 Ph.D students come out to responded back by saying, “we are looking at the Chancellor Penny Rue. I realized I was the only APIA the event, which completely filled up the 2 vans and identified in the room. At the first meeting, she talked 1 car provided. Most importantly, I realized it was large discrepancy.” The data sheet that was passed about the Compton Cookout and how she would a group that had students from various different out grouped Asian Americans under “Asian”. This start a student focus group by next quarter. At this backgrounds, not just APIA. I realized that my events proves how institutions such as UCSD perpetuates meeting, there was no talk about specifically which should always be open and never a closed space and reinforces the “Asian Model Minority Myth.” At this meeting, she asked everyone how they felt about ethnic group her focus group would be on. for APIA because my goal is to demystify the “Asian campus climate post-Compton Cookout. No one It was by fate that Fall Quarter was also when Model Minority Myth” that is perpetuated not only the class “Intro to Asian American Studies” was within the APIA community but also by our brothers opened up until I spoke up about my perspective. I told her my experience sitting in a sociology class offered. At UCSD, there is no Asian American and sisters from different communities. as the professor called out Asian Americans as studies major OR minor, even though the institution I attended UCI’s Asian American Awareness privileged where “we would take over this lecture recognizes “Asian” as the highest population. In this Conference in hopes of continuing to learn, grow, class, I was able to learn the forgotten and forbidden and connect with people. At this conference, I met hall within the next 3 years if tuition increases.” I am stories that institutions such as UCSD does not the founder of Yellow Brotherhood (a community sure there are more incidents like this that occur at support. My professor, Dr. Rebecca Kinney, gave me consisting of APIA folks that existed as a form of UCSD. Not only was I trying to compensate for the one suggestion that I carried throughout my whole resistance during the 70s). In addition, I was able to lack of an Asian American studies minor and major internship at SPACES. She advised, “Why do you see UCI’s Asian American mural. This was the first at UCSD, I was also trying to shatter “the model” have to make programs/events so serious? You can art piece I have ever seen on a UC campus that had image the institution presents APIA community as. In addition, this incident showed me that the institution do a fun spin on it and still get the message across”. APIA representation. does not support my efforts in retention. I felt I gained the historical context of Asian American overwhelmed and I finally understood what “burnt history and now I needed to spread the knowledge Passing Down the Legacy out” meant. I found myself curled up into a ball not to UCSD campus through my programs/events. A film screening of Passing Down the Legacy This was the same quarter I went to SOCC was the first event in which I had guest panelists because I was sleepy, but because I had the attitude at UC Davis and realized I never healed from the that included directors and founders of the youth of “fuck everything.” I ditched all my classes and did Compton Cookout my first year. At SOCC, I cried program “Bridging Communities.” This was the time not want to have commitments anymore. at the opening ceremony as APIA activist artists in which I became very detail-oriented as logistics performed and were cheered on by students of became complex. It took me 2 weeks to finally finish State of Asia America The State of Asia America display caught much color. I cried because it was a moment that signified the flier with the help of Chris Chung. It took 2 attention due to its provocative quotes and bold APIAs as part of the people of color community too. weeks because I already had a vision of how the flier images of APIA figures that appeared in media this However, the conference ended with the discovery should look like and I was determined to physically of the noose, and APIA were alienated once again produce it. Again, I publicized with PC theater, PC past quarter alone. I understood that these APIA as a students began to talk loudly while a UC Davis TV, bookstore display, and by posting fliers all over figures were all of East Asian descent and was so see GROWTH on page 13 Japanese American professor was speaking. campus. On the day of the film screening, I realized I
I
“
Fall Quarter was the time I needed to embrace my identity and find my voice as an APIA and as a Womyn. I never knew my voice could be so fierce and my words so full of wrath, my heart and face burning.
I never knew my voice could be so fierce and I never knew my words could be so full of wrath as my heart and face burned.
”
“
13
volume V, issue 4, june 2012
uc san diego
testimonials
I learned that there are are a lot of activist out there that I never heard of. ss in I learned to not be reckle cautious be to t jus , ing It was a great opporutnity for me to what I’m say types know everyone’s life. I think I got when talking about stereo a new perspective on everyone
I had the opportunity to meet new
I learned some new facts people and to connect with them and racial oppression. i dont normally write lyrics, poems, or blogs, so Learned I should express tonight was an amazing and new experience and myself as often as I can. i really had a lot of fun! so thank you again for all your hard work in putting this all together! I was so glad that I became Got insight into how some aware of other peoples’ tho more students think/see Asianthought that I can think diff ughts. I also erently. Americans in greater context. There is a lot about Asian American culture I don’t know.
neralization is also at It made me realize that ge o at a literar y level a unconcience level but als
”
Bingo Night at Porter’s Pub occurred. This program had been planned out since last quarter, but occurred grateful that students who looked at it would ask during Spring Quarter because there were limited “where are the Filipin@, South Asians, and Southeast dates available at Porter’s Pub. In addition, this was Asians.” I saw staff/faculty and students clog the a project in which I had to do my own research on hallway as they read the articles and processed the APIA leaders and physically create the bingo mats visible racism that continues to exist in the APIA too! It made me angry how I did not know at least community. There were a handful of APIA students 20 APIA leaders and how I wished for more Asian that walked by the display without even glancing, but American classes so that acknowledgment would would walk back again within the next 10 minutes become secondhand knowledge. Even though this to quickly read. It made me realize that the action event was planned since last quarter, the evening of standing in front of the display was an act of of Bingo Night was disorganized. It turns out the resistance. It became an act of acknowledging racism supervisor and managers of Porter’s Pub were in APIA community and to face it, literally. To this day, absent and did not inform their staff about my I still remember this one moment when an APIA girl program. I had to tell the staff everything that I with glasses walked by the glass display and said, “I needed, from lighting to projector. After 30 minutes don’t understand what is the point of this.” I stood of chaos, I found myself laughing and enjoying the there and stared at her, wondering how she sees moment. This was the moment when I realized all herself as she carried her organic chemistry book. I can do is breathe and enjoy the company of my There were also moments when people expressed supporters and friends. their interest in helping out the APIA community. Each of these moments, I challenged myself to stand Vincent Who? in front of the display so I could witness and hear I never knew how much I loved planning each each student’s remarks and responses. of my programs until the day Vincent Who? film The discussion that followed the display case was screening was denied funding. In addition, I realized definitely a growing experience. I learned ground I had connections with a guest speaker that was rules are worth the time to emphasize and explain featured in the film but it did not hit me until the since the discussion was derailed. I appreciate the budget proposal deadline passed.The moment when community members that reinforced ground rules. I was told I was funded $0.00, tears immediately One thing I definitely took away from discussion was flowed out of my eyes. It was then that I realized I that playing into the Asian stereotype is a mechanism have love and passion for each of my projects. The for survival. comment “Program is unorganized/no structure” At the start of Spring Break, I dislocated my stabbed me in the heart the most because I plan shoulder. It turned out to be a good thing because everything from the smallest detail.This was also the I could no longer physically posts fliers, which then day I realized my co-workers/friends have my back forced me to ask others for help. I realized I was and are supportive of my program, since they spoke afraid of asking for help due to my distinguishing up about my work ethic. between a personal and professional relationship. In addition, I believe I improved my time management “Reclaim Stories, Reclaim Self”: Spoken skills, as I stopped devoting so much time posting Word with Fong Tran fliers around campus. This was one of the most stressful events I › GROWTH from page 12
with making sure everything was perfect.
State of Asia America at UCSD and Beyond + Last Meeting With Penny Rue
State of Asia America at UCSD and beyond will be my last project as well as the last program of Asian and Pacific Islander American Heritage Celebration month. APIA staff/faculty shared their stories, and I hope students took away a piece of the event with them. For the last meeting with Penny Rue I could not eat the whole day and even ditched my class in order to be well rested to enter the “battlefield.” This may be one of the last meetings in which I will ever have the opportunity to show Penny Rue the frustration, anger, and disappointment I have in regards to UCSD’s APIA retention efforts. At this meeting, I held nothing back and made myself vulnerable. I told story of my background as a 1st generation, low income, child of refugee parents in order to argue that “Asians” have shit that goes on in our personal and academic lives too. I critiqued the data category of “Asian” that UCSD looks at to conclude that there is not a “large discrepancy.” My voice was heard that day, but I do not know how much it was considered. It was probably a shocking experience for some in the conference room to see an APIA Womyn like myself became so vocal and raw with my words. I fear for the future generation of APIA students that have similar background as me. I fear for their process in finding their voice and identity on this campus when the institution paints every “Asian” as privilege. At the same time, this fear drives me to take action in creating a space that fosters the growth, healing and empowerment for APIA students/staff/ faculty/ community members.
Wrapping Up My Internship at SPACES
I wanted to set the foundation for my position. Thus, I archived and saved every single proposal, coordinated this year. It was the first time I flew APIA Wellness Mixer down a guest panelist that would also be staying budget and fliers for all my programs. In addition, the As Spring Quarter began, my first program for overnight. In addition, spoken word is an art form Solidarity room at SPACES finally has APIA presence this quarter was a APIA Wellness Mixer. As the Los that keeps me sane in this fucked up world.This was on the wall, as Mindy Tran’s quilt project hangs there. Angeles/San Diego representative for NAAPIMHA the moment I realized I have an addiction to being Plus, pictures of my events are posted on the walls (National Asian American Pacific Islander Mental detail oriented, especially when it comes down to too. Health Association), I understand the importance logistics. I did not want anything to go wrong or This year I had the honor to meet and work with of addressing mental health issues in the APIA be overlooked. I became addicted to working on a one-of-a-kind Cycle 5 family, APSA, community community. One of the highest suicide rates are logistics and marketing/publicity. The most I could interns and members, The Collective Voice, Mindy Asian American Womyn in college (age 18-24). For sleep for was 4 hours, and then I had to get logistics Tran (Cycle 4’s API Retention Coordinator), and this program, I had the support of my NAAPIMHA confirmed in order for me to focus on academics staff/faculty at UCSD: such as SPACES professional family. They funded the friendship/calling cards that I obligations. I was able to go all out in publicity skills, staff Frida Pineda Alvear and Patty Mendoza, Cross used as a tool to have participants connect with one such as using the PC Theater marquee, PC TV, and Cultural Center’s Joseph Ramirez and Nancy another beyond the workshop. I wanted to make making a flier that took 9 hours to design. In addition, I Magpusao, Women’s Center’s Kandi Kuttin, Professor a fun spin on retention by making it “speed dating” found myself putting off my physical therapy sessions Jim Lin, Angela Kong, and Windi Sasaki. style, with the questions ranging from personal to and spending all my energy and time in my programs. I continue to hold myself back from applying academic stories. I definitely had fun since it was the Ultimately, there were nearly 100 participants that to SPACES for Cycle 6 because I understand it is first time I was able to eat during the event. came out to “Reclaim Stories, Reclaim Self.” APSA about time I become a student and work on my was there to help me with serving the food and being academic goals. However, I know for sure I will not (Re)Discover Asia America Bingo Night present, which I am very grateful for. I wished I was stop organizing, producing, and engaging in beautiful A few days later, (Re)Discover Asia America able to enjoy the event but I was too preoccupied community work.
14
volume V, issue 4, june 2012
Linda’s Various Events Passing Down the Legacy Film Screening
This empowering film was completed in December 2011 so it was a pleasure having the guest panelists come to San Diego to debut it for the first time. The film screening took place on Feb 24, 2012 from 3pm-5pm at the Cross Cultural Center Comunidad. Passing Down the Legacy follows the Bridging Communities youth program in Los Angeles, Seattle, and San Francisco. Bridging Communities was established in response to a number of hate incidents against the American Muslim community in the aftermath of the 9/11 attacks. Recognizing the similarities that Japanese Americans faced in the aftermath of Pearl Harbor which ultimately resulted in their incarceration, Bridging Communities was meant to build solidarity and partnership between Japanese American and Muslim American community. Guest panelists included Directors Marissa Kitazawa and Alexandra Margolin and Bridging Communities Founder/ Former CAIR Civil Rights Manager/UCSD Alum Affad Shaikh. After the film, participants eagerly asked guest panelist questions as we transitioned into Q&A. Questions of internships, identity, and activism were discussed and provoked many powerful conversations. Roughly 60 participants came out to the event. They ranged from staff/faculty, resource centers intern, APSA, MSA, NSU, and many more.
State of Asia America
The yellow display case on the first floor of PC caught much attention during Week 9 and 10 of Winter Quarter. This display case promoted my “State of Asia America” event and focused on recent acts of racism against the Asian and Pacific Islander American community in the past quarter. The display case had bold images of the APIA figures that had recently appeared in the media, along with captions of racist comments that they endured. Many staff/faculty and students took the time and effort to stand in front of the display case to read the articles and to process the images. The figures included Girl’s Generation (K-pop girl group debut); Harry Lew and Danny Chen (cause of death: military harassment); Lisa Chan (portrayed speaking broken English) \; Heejun Han (American Idol Top 12 Contestant); and Jeremy Lin (NBA Knicks Point Guard). It is also important to note that all these 12 APIA figures represent East Asia, when APIA embodies South Asians, Southeast Asians, and Pacific Islanders.There were students I saw that were very hesitant to literally face the issue that was posted.The display made visible the issues that the APIA community continues to suffer.The discussion took place March 9 from 2pm-4pm at the Cross Cultural Center Art Gallery. Some staff/faculty that came to contribute to the discussion and to share their own experiences were Professor Jim Lin, Ayako Sahara, and Conor Mclaughlin.
Wellness Mixer
On April 12 from 6pm-8pm in the Dolores Huerta room, the APIA Wellness Mixer took place. The goal of this event was to have students build connections with one another as one way of retention efforts. “Speed dating” questons ranged from career goals to personal goals. As the LA/SD representative for NAAPIMHA (National Asian American Pacific Islander Native Hawaiian Mental Health Association), I was able to provide calling cards in which students could exchange their contact information with one another to continue the dialogue outside of workshop. Windi Sasaki, Residence Life Liaison, came out to support the event.
APIA Bingo Night
(Re)Discover Asia America Bingo Night occurred April 17 from 6pm-8pm at Porter’s Pub. Over 100 APIA leaders were recognized during the game that night. The leaders ranged from grassroots activist to Congress leaders to film directors. In addition, intersectionality was emphasized in the even, as some APIA leaders that identified as LGBT, Womyn, authors, musicians, and chefs.
Vincent Who? Film Screening
The Asian American movement was remembered through the film screening of Vincent Who?. This film documents the coalition and community building that occured after the death of Vincent Chin, who was beaten to death in 1982 becasue he was Asian American. His murderers expressed no remorse and walked away freely. Vincent Who? explores this important legacy through interviews with the key players at the time, as well as a whole new generation of activists whose lives were impacted by Vincent Chin. It also looks at the case in relation to the larger narrative of Asian American history, like events such as the Chinese Exclusion Act, Japanese American Internment in WWII, the 1992 L.A. Riots, anti-Asian hate crimes, and post-9/11 racial profiling.
“Reclaim Stories, Reclaim Self” Spoken Word with Fong Tran
Nearly 100 students participated in “Reclaim Stories, Reclaim Self ” Spoken Word with Fong Tran on May 8 from 6:30p-9:00p at the Cross Cultural Center Comunidad Room. Fong Tran started access and retention work as an undergrad at UCB and continues this beautiful community work now at UCD. This performance marked Fong’s first performance as headliner, and it was also his first perfromance in San Diego.The program started off with his spoken word “WTF,” “Shopping for tomatoes,” and “Viet Moms.” Before the spoken word writing workshop began, the crowd was re-energized with a friendship icebreaker. Also, the photo extraction activity encouraged group discussion, as a raw image of Vietnamese refugees was shown. Fong emhasized poetics techniques of imagery, sensory details, and thinking beyond the surface. This technique was put into practice as participants were given the space and time to write their spoken word pieces. Affirmations were given as individuals shared their pieces. In conclusion, Fong performed one last poem, “One Love for Jimmy Le.” This was definitely a night that impacted and inspired everyone. Fong expressed his gratitude: “It was a complete honor to share my poetry with UCSD, and it especially was a privilege to share in your journeys to reclaim your personal narratives.Thank you for all the love and positive energy. Please continue to process, reflect, write, and own the struggles that make you all beautiful. I am deeply rooted in sharing love & education and I only hope that you decide to share just a little of bit of yourselves to the world because we deserve to hear it.” Fong Tran’s Tumblr: fongtranpoetry. tumblr.com
ON JAMES MISENAS
contributing writer
KNOCK
[I thought about writing a disclaimer to this entry. I thought about whether or not this self-reflection was selfish [in a capitalist sense]. I thought about the self with its mind and with its body. I thought about whether this was Pinayism. I thought about whether or not this was coalitional. I thought about whether or not this was transformative. I thought about revolution. I thought about erasure. I thought about visibility. I thought about writing, and this is what spewed out like soft serve on a generic ice cream cone paired with a hot day and a lack of air conditioning. This, I thought, was a taste of something sweet, creamy, and icy only to be melted by the fires of my tongue. This was a questioning of whether or not I enjoyed the snack as opposed to [solely] digesting it. This was whether or not I wanted to share. I thought to myself, “This is nourishment,” as I dropped it on concrete and walked away.] It’s [a lot] interesting, the spaces we choose to occupy rather. I don’t do what I do as a backlash. Should I hope that all of you don’t take it as some sort of pretentious, condescending attempt to transcend barriers? Rather, I’m at an awkward state of healing. I don’t wish to be always at these extreme levels of abstraction. At the same time, should I constantly worry about my legibility and my accessibility? Granted, it’s a recognition of privilege, and often, I surround myself with such violent formations of knowledge. I think about radical intimacies and lack thereof. What do I honor these days? At this point, I refuse to apologize for my queer thinking. Because I study within the academy, especially considering one that emphasizes research, does that mean I come equipped with the proper pedagogies or even languages to explain myself? Surely, it becomes this constant dialogue on praxis. No. So, maybe I do think in theory, but often, I wonder if we have come to an awareness of the theories that we reside [in]. That is hefty. Should what I say always be productive? I’ve come a long way in my process of unlearning, and I cannot tell myself how much I’ve got a long way to go. It’s a process, yes. It’s necessary [for me], yes. I would like to think that struggles are always inherently beautiful. With that comes my process to transform my traumas into resiliencies. I shouldn’t always be at war with myself, should I? There is no post-colonialism.This is how I have and I am inheriting the world, in all of its colonization. What does that even mean for me? What does living comfortably look like? I don’t want to have to ask, “What is healthy nowadays?” What is enough, too? I wonder if there are shadows to my thoughts, and if there are, in which I am assuming there are, why haven’t I looked at it? Have I attributed something deeper to what I’m saying, or is this dialogue with myself only as deep as it gets in this rather face value? It’s not simple. Nothing is, and if I choose to explain my life in terms of humanity and free will, then, surely, I’m not problematizing my habits enough. I don’t see this as “dumbing it down,” but I will admit the intensity I bring upon myself in this self-critique. I don’t have to answer all of these questions in one day. I don’t even have to have answers at all. What am I measuring? Is this an attempt to produce a knowledge for myself to project my reality/ies to others? It’s violent. I’ll say that. I have to stop doubting myself. I return to a question asked last quarter. “What must I teach myself?” And I want to add this: How shall I do it?
uc san diego
volume V, issue 4, june 2012
15
TRIGGER WARNING: SEXUAL VIOLENCE
community AND RAPE ELISEO DAVÍD SANTOS contributing writer
I
’m chewing my oatmeal this morning, trying my best to approach this subject without coming off as too bitter, harsh, or overly critical. If that is the case, please know I am personally and intimately invested on this silenced topic. I will talk about a general overview of KP’s 21st Annual Pilipino Cultural Celebration: “Shadow’s Within Reach” (PCC). I will talk about the PCC’s relation to sexual violence, and then how this connects to community. I define community as those that occupy Campus Community Center spaces, and the orgs that those spaces house. Generally, PCC was fun to watch, had unforgettable dances, and demonstrated what a large and strong force KP is. However, I am here to talk about something quite different. Sexual violence in community. What happened in the play?: Halfway though the play, Phoebe is raped by the bartender and winds up in a coma. Aside from Phoebe’s lolo and lola, her boyfriend, Rico, was the only one that really felt enraged and hurt by what occurred to Phoebe. He is called “crazy” in part because he resisted and resented everyone’s complicity in continuing to protest the fee hikes when his desire was to bring justice and get the perpetrator. He acted in a manner that was frantic, with his health depleting and sanity lost. As the story progresses, Phoebe remains in the coma, and only her ghostly presence resides over the visitors in her room, unseen and unheard. What the heck does it mean?: Within this play, I want to examine what gets prioritized as work, how “crazy” people are perceived, and what happens to rape victims in community. After Phoebe is raped, there is this struggle, an overwhelming tension between those that want to continue with the protest for the fee hikes and the boyfriend that wants to bring justice to Phoebe. The protesters argue that they have been working months for this day. They can’t back down now and they can’t let Phoebe or Rico’s unhinged emotions get in the way of this protest. What this translates to is—the work that community does is more important than the actual violence that was enacted on Phoebe’s body. “WE need to fight back fees! It’s about the collective! Sure, Phoebe was raped, but we need to have this protest!!! We can’t let this small incident interfere with progress or community!” It makes me so angry to think of this rhetoric of what is valued or cast as work is echoed in community. How “productive” work, like a protest, is much more important than actually caring for each another.
The individual is forgotten about in the means of being productive. There is much talk of self-care in community, but much of what it seems is “take care of yourself but get the job done.” The value of individuals is placed on their ability to produce. If community isn’t fighting against or working for something, then it’s not doing its job? What happens to women of color as certain types of work get prioritized? What about her voice? The activists in the play are fighting, fighting, fighting, while Phoebe is dissolving away into the story as a plot tool. As Phoebe is slipping away, her boyfriend is also deemed slipping out of reality. His hygiene is deteriorating, he is lashing out at everyone, and he wants justice for Phoebe. He is claimed a lunatic, crazy for his actions and state of mind. In this raw unfiltered emotion can we truly see the honesty of how rape has also affected Rico. Granted, he is aggressive, abrasive, and violent, but what I want to examine is the emotions and crude disposition that makes Rico so incomprehensible to all those that are not as affected by the rape on PHOEBE. “Forget about your pain, it’s about the movement bro! Why are you acting crazy? The police are at it! Just let it go and join us!!! Be our Bro!!!!!” FUCK THAT. THE MOMENT I BEGIN TO DISMISS SOMEONE AS CRAZY IS EXACTLY THE MOMENT I NEED TO CHECK MYSELF AND WHAT I AM INVESTED IN. I have had too many conversations about rape, molestation, and sexualized violence to believe that I can just dismiss these feelings and actions as simply crazy. Crazy means that I cannot understand them, not that there is anything mentally deficient in the other person. Simply because their reality can’t be understood by mine doesn’t mean that their story doesn’t have truth. Again, the productive work of putting something together is thought of as more important than the stability and wellness of others. Although this doesn’t always happen in community, I want to acknowledge how deeming someone as crazy or overly emotional erases their struggle and entire well-being. Just like RICO, I come to discuss Phoebe and her body. Once Phoebe is raped, only the shell of her body remains. Her voice is kept silent because she is in a coma and can’t actually speak. Haunting the room and its visitors, her ghostly figure screams and shouts, but remains unheard by everyone who enters. Thus, as a rape victim, she cannot speak for herself. She becomes evidence of a crime represented through a body. This not only exemplifies how rape was a plot tool to carry out the story, but exacerbates how rape victims are viewed and talked about (or lack thereof) within community. There is this idea that they can’t speak for themselves and that they should just be left alone or cast away. Her body was devalued as a useless and interruptive tool. She was cast off and forgotten once she became irrelevant to the movement due to her inability to produce. She exists under the name of her shadow—a body, not a person. The shadow of her person is within reach, but the object and person that projects this image is forgotten about. She now exists as a dark reminder of
› WORKS CITED from page 9 Confronting Issues of Global Justice. Eds. Laura Westra and Bill E. Lawson. 2nd ed. Maryland: Rowman & Littlefield, 2001. Our Homeland. Smithsonian National Museum of the American Indian. American Indian Responses to Environmental Challenges. Video: <http://www.nmai.si.edu/ environment/kumeyaay/Homeland.aspx>. 23 Feb. 2012. Our Strategies. Smithsonian National Museum of the American Indian. American Indian Responses to Environmental Challenges. Video: <http://www.nmai.si.edu/ environment/kumeyaay/Strategies.aspx>. 23 Feb. 2012. Pellow, David N. “The Politics of Illegal Dumping: An Environmental Justice Framework.” Qualitative Sociology 27.4 (2004). Print. Pierotti, Raymond and Daniel Wildcat, “Being Native to This Place,” Hall Center for the Humanities Colloquium on Nature and Technology (1996). Planting Justice, “EAT GRUB” 2011, http://plantingjustice.org/programs/Eat-Grub (accessed February 9, 2012).
sexualized violence through the immobile and inaudible body on a bed. However present her body may be in community, she silent, gone, forgotten. “It’s about the community, not just Phoebe!” Now, I think it’s easy for us to avert the blame— that this as just a play, or perhaps such an event occurred just within KP—but my intentions are not to call this out as a unique instance. This play acts as a representation of how rape and sexual violence have been talked about at large. How often to we engage—and not just talk about—rape and sexual violence within activist orgs or the Campus Community Centers? By engage I mean challenge our own unique positionalities and our own ways in which we have been conditioned to perceive this subject. When do we listen to the “crazy” people? These shadows are kept within our reach but never palpable because we seek their shadows and not the beings that create them. When have we prioritized this “productive” “activist” work over our own bodies or the bodies of others? What bodies are up for sacrifice? Who is kept silent? Who speaks but is kept unheard? Why is it that they are unheard? These systems of power not only keep my siblings silent, but also unheard even when they try and speak. I think it’s simple to call stuff out and be angry, but I really, at the very least, need to find a way to make this constructive. Perhaps writing this piece is enough, but I want to do more. For individuals who want to learn more, want to check where they are at, need more resources, or feel oblivious to the subject, please check out these two books: The Color of Violence: INCITE! Anthology and The Revolution Starts at Home: Confronting Intimate Violence Within Activist Communities. Perhaps this can be a starting point to resurrect the ghostly figures that community has cast away or forgotten about. PS. in this community, there is this perpetual need to be productive. to continue creating, without examining, ourselves. this is one reason why i think qpoc is falling apart. from this idea of perpetual production, i see so many 1st and 2nd years in board positions, and for this reason, i know of one to many students who are on AP, kicked out, or withdraw. Community. Check it. Where are We? i welcome critique, but not if it doesn’t examine itself. check n’ check. i’m not perfect but i know how enamored people can be with their own oppressions. that they can forget how they are violent to others. i’m prolly going to be called crazy or overly critical or destructive to community, but why are we protecting the things that won’t let us grow? rape is so often silenced within community that it goes undetected. we don’t talk about it enough and, when we do, most of our ears glaze over it. i hope you read this article loud and clear, knowing that i will not allow my sisters or my brothers be silenced any more. I don’t speak for them. i speak conscious of and through the unspoken and unheard violence in their lives.
---, “Organizational History” 2011, http://plantingjustice.org/about-us/ organizational-history (accessed February 9, 2012). ---, “Programs” 2011, http://plantingjustice.org/programs (accessed February 9, 2012). Project Censored’s Media Freedom Int’l. “West Oakland: Pollution Hotspot and Environmental Racism.” <http://www.mediafreedominternational. org/2010/03/01/west-oakland-pollution-hotspot-and-environmental-racism/> Pulido, Laura. “Rethinking Environmental Racism: White Privilege and Urban Development in Southern California.” Annals of the Association of American Geographers. Vol. 90, No. 1 (2000) 12-40. Rosen, Martin D and Fisher, James. “Chicano Park and the Murals: Barrio Logan, City of San Diego, California.” The Public Historian, Vol. 23, No. 4 (Fall 2001), pp. 91-111 Standen, Amy. “Tribal Lands Struggle To Bring Clean Power Online.” NPR. NPR, 20 Aug. 2010. Web. 23 Feb. 2012. <http://www.npr.org/2010/08/20/129303545/ tribal-lands-struggle-to-bring-clean-power-online>.
16
volume V, issue 4, june 2012
What’s Up by Alex Vo WHAT’S UP: Hey, lately a lot of things have been bothering me And I can’t hold it in anymore I gotta speak my mind WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP, WHAT’S UP, WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP, WHAT’S UP, WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP, WHAT’S UP, WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP, WHAT’S UP, WHAT’S UP? It’s funny how a guy kissing a guy Is just so controversial, why? Why do we spend so much time hating on somebody’s love Isn’t the hate in our world already enough? Why is something so simple considered so sinful Is my pursuit of love really something so criminal? Supporting a message of hate that’s subliminal telling me to confess myself in confessional Please, I’m going to hell, guess I’ll see you there Because at this point in my life, I don’t really care If I can’t be myself in the present life, then my living hell is worse than the afterlife because either way, if I’m gonna be crucified I’d rather have told the truth instead of living a lie but for now, in the present, I’m here to stay I’m on the right track, baby I was born this way WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP, WHAT’S UP, WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP, WHAT’S UP, WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP, WHAT’S UP, WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP, WHAT’S UP, WHAT’S UP? They ask me why I’m not like the guys on Glee? Why I’m not like what they see on tv? Why I don’t wanna be their shopping buddy Why I don’t like the guys at abercrombie Sorry if I don’t fit your stereotype I apologize for living my life In humanity, there’s variety Not just one thing, I know, so hard to believe! But I’m not gonna act overly macho acting insecure and saying “yo bro, no homo” I’ll be who I want to be, express myself confidently Do what I like and adjust myself accordingly
I’m tired of the old rules, we need something new society definitely needs to upgrade too I think outside the box and then I kick the box down smash it with my skills and show who freaking runs the town WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP, WHAT’S UP, WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP, WHAT’S UP, WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP, WHAT’S UP, WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP, WHAT’S UP, WHAT’S UP? Being gay is not a sickness, homophobia is an ignorant fear that’s ridiculous I hate when people say that being gay is a choice if it is, dude prove it, start liking boys Yo, why would I choose to make my life harder? Have to fight for my rights when others don’t even bother? A choice to be treated as a second class citizen Hide a part of myself just to fit in Don’t ask, don’t tell, let me tell you this The constant struggle for equality always is and always will be going on Even when policies like prop 8 are gone Even when same sex marriage becomes legalized Because no matter how much we idealize To some extent, I will always have to fight For my right to equality, love and life WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP, WHAT’S UP, WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP, WHAT’S UP, WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP, WHAT’S UP, WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP, WHAT’S UP, WHAT’S UP? A queer, Asian-American rapper? so different, so controversial? Please, grow up, it’s UCSD at 2012, motherfuckers BREAK YOUR STEREOTYPES BREAK YOUR EXPECTATIONS BREAK YOUR FEARS BREAK FREE
CO-EDITORS IN CHIEF Liz Nguyen Regine Reyes
STAFF Linda Chang
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Anonymous Alex Vo The Callout Queen Carlos R Guillen Eliseo David Santos Emily Polachek James Misenas Jolly Kareem Lady Dim Sum Maggie Quan Nayiri Donikian SPACES Cycle 5 Staff Stephanie Robitaille
PHOTOGRAPHERS Linda Chang Hardeep Jandu SIAPS Overnight Program Gail M. Gutierrez
ARTISTS Gail M. Gutierrez
12
We want freedom
We want social unity and equality for all people on campus
3
We want to promote social awareness and combat social ignorance
4
We want to unite student activists and students with progressive values and common struggles
5
We want to educate others about ourstories and our true role in present-day society
The Collective Voice is a student-run, student-initi- Voice will help create a sense of safe space and commuated publication of UCSD’s SPACES, the Student Pro- nity for students who may otherwise feel unwelcome at UCSD’s challenging campus climate thereby conmoted Access Center for Education and Service. The mission of the Student Promoted Access Center tributing to existing retention efforts of campus. This for Education and Service (SPACES) is to act as an em- newspaper deeply values students’ voices by providing powering dynamic on campus where UCSD students an outlet for open dialogue and discussion surrounding issues and developments affecting their communities. collaborate to achieve greater educational equity. This Additionally, The Collective Voice allows UCSD’s encompasses equal access to higher education, undergraduate retention and graduation, and matriculation progressive community to outreach, collaborate and to graduate and professional schools. SPACES values communicate to the greater San Diego communities the power of student-initiated action and organizing outside of our campus. Most importantly, The Collective Voice, provides marginalized students and underby providing an environment for student growth and resourced students the empowering opportunity to development and thus is a foundation to create leaderprotect the representation of their identities and beship and unity through community engagement. liefs, and report alternative news that is not otherwise In line with SPACES’ mission of valuing “the power covered by mainstream media. The Collective Voice, in of student-initiated action,” “proving an environment for partnership with SPACES, allows for the creation of “an student growth and development,” and creating “unity empowering dynamic where UCSD students collabothrough community engagement,” The Collective Voice rate to achieve greater educational equity.” It is through is UCSD’s progressive newspaper that promotes social this mission that the collective of diverse voices in one unity, justice and awareness across the many communi- newspaper will actively demonstrate an empowering ties that exist on the UCSD campus. The Collective progressive community on the UCSD campus.
6
We want educational equity and to empower under resourced communities
7
We want to fight the rhetoric propagated by oppressive forces on campus
8
We want our beliefs, practices, and ethics to be illustrated in a correct light
9
We want peace. The ability to coexist on campus without fear of prejudice or persecution
10
We want to be recognized as equal individuals despite and because of our ethnicity, religious affiliation, race, gender, or sexual orientation c v e d i to r s @ g m a i l . c o m