February 14, 2023 | The Columbia Chronicle

THE SEX ISSUE

EDITOR'S NOTE: SEX

IS JUST THE START OF THE CONVERSATION

OLIVIA COHEN EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

INTIMACY. AS ABSTRACT as it is, we all have some idea of it. When someone mentions it, we feel it.

It is almost universal: the craving for intimacy, the craving to immerse yourself with care.

The Chronicle is back with its annual Sex Issue. But, sex doesn’t cut it. It is not enough. The conversation does not – and should not – stop there.

When we think of sex, usually the first thing we think of is physicality. What we often forget is intimacy can be intertwined with it. Sex can be the warmth of two people in a moment of connection, or someone honoring their individuality. Although the latter does not always fall under the umbrella of “sex,” all of it is intimate.

Intimacy is the calm before the storm. It lives within stroking someone’s hair and when you say goodnight. Intimacy is the moments that often go unnoticed, unappreciated and yet still are missed if not present.

It is raunchy and racy. It is soft and sweet. It silences the soul’s shouts of “wants” and opens up the door of “needs.”

This year, we are shining a light on those moments. Giving them a name. Empowering them.

If sex is the finish line, intimacy is the quest. Intimacy is not a crescendo but rather a beat that keeps us moving. We are all intimate.

Yet, it is different for each person. Experience, circumstance and desire shape it.

In this issue, we report on being intimate with yourself. We dissect the intertwined nature of intimacy and religion. We explore intimacy through the lens of academia.

If there is one notion to take away from our coverage, it’s to know more than one thing can be true at a time. You can crave intimacy and dismiss sex. You can wait until marriage for sex but still self-explore. You can have both sex and intimacy. Intimacy might be abstract, but your connection and care for yourself does not have to be.

Intimacy is about feeding the soul –what and how you consume it is up to you.

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VOL. 58, ISSUE 3

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HOW STUDENTS CAN GET EDUCATED ON SEX, IN AND OUT OF THE CLASSROOM

» ELIZABETH RYMUT MANAGING EDITOR

LEARNING ABOUT AND understanding sexual health, your own body and identity can be “mind-blowing.”

That’s how Paige Johnson, a junior creative writing major and education minor, described feeling when she took Columbia’s personal wellness course.

“I learned that a period is 28 days long, which I had no idea beforehand,” Johnson said.

Johnson went to middle school in Ohio and high school in the southern part of the country, where abstinence was encouraged. Both schools had a very small health unit, she said.

“In the textbook, we were supposed to do a unit on menstrual cycles and periods in general, and we completely skipped over it,” Johnson said. “The teacher said out loud, ‘Oh we’re not doing this part. We’re skipping over this.’”

Across the United States, fewer than half of high schools and less than onefifth of middle schools teach key topics

for sexual health education, according to the Centers for Disease Control. That includes information about now to prevent HIV, sexually transmitted diseases and an unintended pregnancy.

Kate Apostolacus, a senior entertainment marketing major, had her first health class in fifth grade.

“I, fortunately, had a lot of great education with [sex-ed], but a lot of other people haven’t,” Apostolacus said, who is a mental health senator for the Student Government Association. “Columbia is this great ecosystem of people all over, so [if] they don’t have that necessary education, and what a better place to get it than here.”

Apostolacus said having more sex education class options than there are would be beneficial, like having a humanities portion or putting it in syllabi.

“I feel like this is a sex-positive environment personally and socially, but it’s not really talked about on campus,” Apostolacus said. “It’s kind of a taboo subject.”

Emily Battle, director of Counseling Services, said this month their depart-

ment is having a group session event called “Cultivating Connections,” which will be about various relationships.

“They may discuss boundary setting, how to tell if relationships are healthy or unhealthy, conflict management–those types of relationship factors,” Battle said.

Battle said counseling services are open to talking to students about sexual health if it is something that is relevant to treatment and are welcome to help students find resources that would be appropriate for them.

Johnson said conversations around sex, sexuality and experimentation previously scared her.

“In a way, it made me more naive because I didn’t know anything outside of STDs, so not having the knowledge made it easier to be taken advantage of, which happened,” Johnson said.

When she kissed her boyfriend for the first time, she had a panic attack.

Johnson, who did not start having sex until she got to college, said she would like to have known more about the psychology behind having sex and what it does to someone mentally.

“We learn a lot about sex medically or physically, but not a lot mentally,” Johnson said, “That’s an important part that’s overlooked.”

Battle said all of their providers have experience with various mental health diagnoses and come from a trauma-informed background.

For more accessible resources, Planned Parenthood offers information on its website and provides services for all individuals, with the recent addition of telehealth communication.

“Columbia is this great ecosystem of people all over, so [if] they don’t have that necessary education, and what a better place to get it than here.”

SEX SHOP OWNER’S ADVICE: HOW TO CHOOSE, CLEAN, STORE TOYS

» AMINA SERGAZINA SENIOR REPORTER

FOR THE PAST 24 years, Paradise Simmons and her husband have built a business selling everything related to intimacy and sex.

The couple owns Pretty Things Underneath, an adult novelty and women’s lingerie shop, which started out of their home on Chicago’s South Side.

For beginners, pros and everyone in between, Simmons shared how to choose sex toys and the best way to take care of them.

“If it’s something you don’t like, at least you tried it,” Simmons said. “There’s no right or wrong.”

Choosing your toy

There are three common materials used to make sex toys: plastic, glass and silicone.

Plastic sex toys are usually more affordable and easy to clean, but they can also hold debris, Simmons said.

Glass sex toys can be heated or frozen for different sensations and types of orgasms. Depending on the usage, however, they can have invisible chips and become a safety hazard.

Washing your toy

Simmons’ choice for hygiene is silicone sex toys because they are safe, easy to clean and hypoallergenic, while still having a realistic feel.

For beginners, Simmons suggests starting with a bullet vibrator that has at least three speeds; because of how tender the genital area is, it easily gets desensitized to one speed, Simmons said.

“You don’t want to go spend $200 to $300 your first time out and then decide, ‘Oh, my God, masturbation isn’t even for me,’” Simmons said.

For more advanced users, Simmons suggests silicone toys that have a few speeds of vibration and more functions.

Simmons also recommends basing the size and shape of your toy of choice on a previously enjoyed sex experience.

For example, Simmons said if a preferred partner’s penis “was curved a little bit to the left, find something that’s curved a little bit to the left,”

She said people with penises should look for pocket vaginas that are stretchy, easy to clean and have texture inside. She suggests to also use a water-based warming lubricant for a more realistic feel.

Cleaning sex toys before and after each use is a must, even if they came straight out of a package.

Storing your toys

After cleaning sex toys of any material, Simmons said it is important to dry them with a lint-free fabric and then leave them

out for at least five to 10 minutes before putting them away.

“You can possibly get a yeast infection or a bacterial infection because you have not cleaned and you have not stored [sex toys] properly,” Simmons said.

Once dry, the toy needs to be stored in a place that is also lint-free.

To store it with discretion, Simmons suggests putting it in a plastic bag and hiding it in the pocket of jeans. For larger toys, people can hide them in boots or shoes they are not currently using.

Ideally, Simmons says boxes can be locked with a key are best because they look like makeup cases.

“Don’t be afraid, just try,” Simmons said.

‘IT WAS ALMOST LIKE CLOSING A CHAPTER IN MY LIFE’: A HEALING JOURNEY THROUGH TATTOOING

healing power of doing tattoo cover-ups and creating a safe space for all identities in her sessions.

Working for the only tattoo shop in the country that has a partnership with the Federal Bureau of Prisons, Phillips has covered gang tattoos for people released the day before. She also specializes in top surgery and tummy tuck scarring and has tattooed nipples on transmasculine clients.

Grace learned how to do 3D nipple tattooing through a specialty cosmetic tattooing program with the American Academy of Micro-Pigmentation. Now, she is using her practice to make her clients feel like themselves again.

something that I think more tattoo artists need to be aware of and start practicing.”

Every client is unique, Grace said. “A scar on anybody is different from one millimeter to the next; I’ve been doing it for so long that there’s probably going to be a touch up involved, so I tell people that, just because we don’t know how it’s going to heal.”

Stephanie Perejda went to Bella Rose Tattoo for a floral cover-up over the self-

» KIMBERLY KAPELA COPY EDITOR » ABRA RICHARDSON MULTIMEDIA REPORTER

TATTOOING CAN BE a powerful tool to adorn one’s body. It can also help people process mental, emotional and physical trauma.

Dawn Grace, a veteran tattoo artist who is proud to say they have a versatile tattoo style, works with breast cancer survivors who have been disfigured by surgical scars.

“A lot of clients...have been without nipples for 10 years, and I’ve had more than a few tell me that they couldn’t bear to look in the mirror because they felt like an actual monster,” Grace said. “No one should have to feel like that.”

A limited number of tattoo artists know how to handle scarring cover-ups from a trauma-informed standpoint, especially when the client has to revisit a source of trauma within the act of healing.

“The tattooing industry is at a point right now where it’s very split between a very old-school mindset of you coming in and dealing with the pain of the tattoo,” said Alexandra Winthrop, a tattoo artist at Evergreen Studios, who specializes in scar cover-ups

and primarily works with surgery and self-harm scarring.

“But that’s the badass aspect of getting a tattoo versus this more emerging viewpoint of this [being] a potentially healing art that is going on a person with varied backgrounds and varied experiences,” Winthrop said.

Carrying a distinctive, bold design can provide a therapeutic experience after experiencing trauma.

Faith Phillips, shop owner and tattoo artist at Wish Me Luck Tattoo, a Black, trans and queer-oriented shop on Chicago’s Northwest Side, has experienced the

“It’s something that I’ve provided for free,” Phillips said about nipple tattos, noting that a lot of tattoo artists “aren’t capable of holding space for people like that – or there’s no money there.”

Phillips, who is a transgender tattoo artist, said tattoo artists have one job: to have people leave feeling better than they came in. “Body affirming” is Phillips’ job.

Winthrop agrees artists should treat everyone with empathy because of the emotional process tattooing elicits. She said it is empowering to experience a client’s confidence emerge, knowing they have beautiful artwork covering a scar that society often shames.

“It’s something that, when it goes well with a very empathetic and informed artist, can be a beautiful healing experience that can give somebody back so much confidence that they lost in the process of receiving those scars,” Winthrop said. “But when it’s not handled properly, whether it’s a poor tattoo itself or somebody who is not trauma-informed, it can have horrible repercussions for the client. It’s definitely

harm scars on her arm. The flowers hold significance for Perejda because when she was a child, she picked flowers for her mom on camping trips.

Perejda said the cover-up was life changing because prior to the cover-up, she was forced to wear a long-sleeve shirt for years.

“It was almost like closing a chapter in my life and opening a new one and having more positive experiences because I got tattoos to cover up a painful experience,” Perejda said.

Grace has seen many clients cry after getting tattoos that cover up scars.

“[There’s] 100% guarantee there’s tears at the end, which [are] tears of happiness,” Grace said. “It’s overwhelming to be able to look in the mirror and see something beautiful there as opposed to whatever the doctors did.”

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TATTOO ARTIST, DAWN GRACE TALKS ABOUT MUSIC WITH HER CLIENT WHILE TATTOOING AT HER STUDIO, BELLA ROSE TATTOO LOCATED AT 3811 N. KEDZIE AVE.

LOCATED AT 3323 W. ARMITAGE AVE., IS TATTOO ARTIST FAITH PHILLIPS’ STUDIO CALLED WISH ME LUCK TATTOO, WHERE PHILLIPS FOCUSES ON COVER-UP TATTOOS.

A DETAILED LOOK INTO DAWN GRACE’S TATTOO OF THE DAY, A PEONY IS GETTING OUTLINED AND READY FOR SHADING, AT BELLA ROSE TATTOO.

TODAY, BOUDOIR PHOTOGRAPHY IS USED FOR THE MODEL TO GROW CONFIDENT AND COMFORTABLE IN THEIR OWN SKIN, GLAMORIZING FEATURES THEY NORMALLY WOULDN’T. THIS BOUDOIR MODEL CLIPS HER BRA WHILE GETTING READY.

ALBERT ARTHUR ALLEN FOCUSED ON PLUS-SIZED FIGURED WOMEN AGAINST ELABORATE BACKDROPS.

A BOUDOIR MODEL POSES FOR THE CAMERA, DRESSED DOWN IN A FLOWY PURPLE LACE TOP FOR A PHOTO SHOOT IN THE COMFORT OF THEIR OWN HOME.

THE MODEL LAYS TO THE SIDE IN A BLACK LACE CORSET, WHICH WAS POPULAR IN THE 1940S. DURING THE 1920S, WELL-KNOWN PHOTOGRAPHER

BOUDOIR PHOTOGRAPHY INSPIRES EMPOWERMENT

» LILY THOMAS STAFF REPORTER

BOUDOIR PHOTOGRAPHY IS a form of portraiture aiming to capture the subject in an intimate and sensual way. Often, the models wear lingerie, soft sleepwear or another form of revealing clothing.

Boudoir photos are a version of portraits with a “feminist, empowering slant” to them, said Beatrice Phelps, local photographer and owner of Gold Coast Chicago Boudoir.

Phelps said the purpose of boudoir photography is to help empower women, noting she sees a change in women's moods when they leave her studio.

“It’s kind of crazy actually,” Phelps said. “I’m always a bit stunned about how they’re like ‘Oh, my God, I feel so much more confident and powerful already.’”

At Columbia, first-year photography major Cadence Steenson got into boudoir

photography for a similar reason. After starting with self-portrait work, she went on to shoot boudoir photos of her friends.

“It just means a lot to me when [the models are] looking back at their photos and then they feel beautiful and good in themselves,” Steenson said.

Because of the nature of boudoir, Steenson likes to make sure her sessions focus on self-love, as she often compliments her clients throughout the session.

Similarly, Phelps makes sure prospective clients are a good fit for intimate shoots during consultations.

“It’s kind of a vulnerable thing,” Phelps said. “You’re in your lingerie or whatever you chose to wear and I’m helping you position your body. So you want to be able to feel like you can be compatible and trust and communicate well.”

Even though some can take nude portraits of themselves, senior photography major Sophie Mikos said the trusting con-

nection built during boudoir shoots brings more intimacy.

“When you get these professional pictures or when the photographer even turns around the camera and shows you a shot they just took and they light up like that is the feeling I live for and I think that's the feeling people seek out when they look to do boudoir photography,” Mikos said.

While traditional nude photos may be taken with someone else’s gaze in mind, Phelps focuses on posing her subject for only them, prioritizing her clients feeling powerful in their bodies.

Similarly, Mikos hopes to make her clients feel confident, beautiful and attractive.

“I really think the main thing I like to do is just capture someone else’s beauty ... capture their confidence in those pictures because it really shows through,” Mikos said. “Even if that person tends to be a little more reserved, once they get in

front of a camera and they do these kinds of shoots, they just light up and look so happy and so empowered.”

While empowerment is often the goal for these photographers, Steenson said some people view boudoir as sexual objectification of women’s bodies. Artists like Steenson hope to counter that narrative with their work.

“I think that it just genuinely shows that we’re taking control of our own bodies and showing off our bodies in a way that we want,” Steenson said. “Male or male-presenting people can kind of think that we’re just trying to show off our bodies for male attention, but when we’re just doing it for ourselves, just falling in love with ourselves and our bodies. I think it’s just really inspiring and empowering and we’re kind of taking back the sexualization of our bodies.”

NOT FAR FROM NUDE, THE MODEL KICKS HER FEET UP WEARING ONLY LINGERIE AND HEELS. BOUDOIR PHOTOGRAPHY FIRST EMERGED IN THE UNITED STATES IN THE 1920S WHEN NUDITY IN PHOTOGRAPHS WAS ILLEGAL.

WOMEN WITH DISABILITIES ‘TAKE CHARGE!’ OF SEX EDUCATION CONVERSATIONS AFTER EXCLUSIONS

of her pregnancy, doctors suggested choosing birth control or doing tubal ligation after giving birth, which meant sterilization or “getting your tubes tied” to prevent future pregnancies.

“That was very anxiety-ridden for me,” King said. “Can I get through this first delivery and see how I feel about having a baby? I’m glad I didn’t go through it because it’s just making the decision too early.”

discuss topics of consent, rights and doctors’ appointments.

In 2015 The Empowered Fe Fes published “Take Charge!,” a reproductive health guide for women with disabilities.

According to the guide, pro-choice and reproductive justice movements do not specifically address the needs of people with disabilities and their rights to have children.

Amy Bernard, an art therapist with Access Living and a student at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago, has anxiety and is dating someone with a panic disorder.

Bernard said there is a concept called “access intimacy,” which is a feeling of increased relief that can come from being around someone who has the same experience and “language” as you.

Bernard has dated neurotypical people in the past but said having someone who does not need her to explain feelings is refreshing.

Similar disconnects can also happen in professional settings.

When it comes to understanding disabilities in the doctor’s office, there is still a lack of knowledge. Only 17.2% out of 1,000 OB-GYNs had gotten any training or information on how to provide healthcare to women with disabilities, according to a survey published in the medical journal Health Equity in 2018.

» AMINA SERGAZINA SENIOR REPORTER

BRITTANY KING HAS lived with the left side of her body paralyzed since a stroke in 2009.

But that didn’t stop her from becoming a mother. King has a daughter, who is now 4-years-old.

Her daughter’s father also has a disability. During the second trimester

King is a member of “The Empowered Fe Fes,” an advocacy and peer support group for women and girls with disabilities.

Part of The Empowered Fe Fes’ advocacy work is focused on sharing information surrounding sexual health. King said part of this work was done with schools that do not have sex education classes, so The Empowered Fe Fes provides workshops where they

“Even when you care about someone, panic can come up during intimacy, and having someone else who can understand what’s going on can be really comforting,” Bernard said.

If these panic attacks occur during intimate moments, Bernard said her partner — without hesitation and even without clothes on — rushes to comfort her without judgment.

Stephanie Jackson, a member of The Empowered Fe Fes, has a learning disability and schizophrenia. When her mother goes with her to the doctor, Jackson said healthcare providers try to talk to her mother instead of her, even though she is an adult.

“I’m their patient; my mom is not their patient,” Jackson said.

Jackson said she changed her provider and goes to Northwestern Hospital where she is treated with respect.

The Empowered Fe Fes plan to put out a new, refreshed reproductive health guide this year.

TWO PHOTOS WELCOME VISITORS AT THE ENTRANCE OF THE EMPOWERED FEE FES SUITE, LOCATED AT 115 W. CHICAGO AVE., PRESENTING INFORMATION ABOUT WHAT THE GROUP STANDS FOR, WHICH ALLOWS WOMEN WITH DISABILITIES TO SHARE THEIR STORIES WITH OTHERS.

AN ADVOCACY GROUP FOR WOMEN WITH DISABILITIES, THE EMPOWERED FE FES, MEETS TO ELABORATE ON ADVERTISING FOR THE NEXT MONTH. MEMBERS FAITH FINLEY AND JAZMINE COATES SPEAK ABOUT LOOKING TO EXPAND THEIR GROUP ON FEB 6.

BRITTANY KING, THE EMPOWERED FEE FES MEMBER, SPEAKS WITH MEMBERS VIA ZOOM IN MEETING ABOUT SCHEDULING AND ENHANCING THEIR MEETING REPERTOIRE.

A SPECIAL EDITION FROM THE COLUMBIA CHRONICLE

the Intimacy insert

OPINION: SEX SHOULD NOT BE TABOO AMONG LATINO CATHOLICS

» KIMBERLY VAZQUEZ COPY EDITOR

THERE ARE COUNTLESS religious bracelets around my wrist, yet I cannot help but feel as though I have been unfaithful.

My life and culture as a Mexican American has been entrenched in Catholicism.

It is the only religion that I have known so intimately, which is incredibly ironic because the idea of intimacy and any exploration of it within the community is shunned, it’s taboo. It is something only to be shared with your significant other.

There is a strong tie between Catholicsm and Latin America: 40% of the world’s total Catholic population comes from Latin America; 55% of U.S. Latinos identify as Catholic, according to Pew Research Center and 80% of Mexico’s population are Catholics.

Here’s the thing, many of us do not know what we’re doing when it comes to sex. The closest thing to sex education is a simple, “You will know when you are older,” or the typical, “Say ‘no’ until marriage or God will punish you.”

Our curiosity becomes the responsibility of someone else, be it a higher being, a partner, or our parents.

The United States holds the “opt-out” policy when it comes to sex education. According to the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States, “opt-out” policies require school districts to send written notifications before a sex education class.

The written notification must also include information regarding the material that will be taught and who will

be teaching it. The parent must then inform the district if they do not want their child attending these lessons. This policy essentially limits the already scarce resources students have. The choice is no longer theirs.

In cities such as Los Angeles, Catholic parents are encouraged to know these policies because of the Catholic belief that a child’s education must be decided by the parent. The decision ultimately comes down to the parents.

On a personal level, my parents have been somewhat liberal when it comes to sex education. I wouldn’t say I was taught extensively about sex; I was simply told the

day would come when I found someone who I would be comfortable sharing the experience with. My parents left out the extra details.

My brother on the other hand was given condoms.

That’s where I feel the tricky part lies within this entire debacle – the preservation of purity, especially with Latina women. Catholicism bestows the role of dutiful wife upon the woman, and with Catholicism being so significant to the cultural identity of Latinos, sex is further frowned upon when a woman wishes to explore any avenue of intimacy.

I am grateful to my parents for trying.

Still, growing up Catholic, I wasn’t exactly encouraged to educate myself on these matters, but as a woman, I felt it was essential to know. I wanted to understand my own image, but there was always a lack of resources. The only thing I knew in regards to a woman’s image was the iconography of the Virgin Mary.

My faith and identity as a Latina will always be important to me. As I grow, I know that practicing my belief does not need to feel restrained. It’s essential to understand our entire being, our needs, and our wants if we wish to fully exist within ourselves.

» KIMBERLY VAZQUEZ/CHRONICLE

» AVERY TIMMONS COPY EDITOR

IN COLLEGE, BEING a virgin can feel lonely, as if you are the only one around who has not had sex. With hookup culture being so common, and especially when everyone around you seems to assume that you have had sex because of your age, it can almost feel embarrassing

When you are a virgin not by conscious choice or if the opportunity to have sex has not presented itself, searching for a relationship or a partner you trust to have your first time with can feel impossible.

But this does not mean that you cannot explore intimacy, even if that means taking the time to be intimate with yourself before finding the right partner.

I was a late bloomer to a lot of firsts compared to most of my

OPINION: BEING A VIRGIN DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU CANNOT BE INTIMATE — WITH YOURSELF

friends. At a certain point, I just started looking for someone – anyone, really – who would fulfill those experiences for me, like they were nothing more than bucket list items to be checked off.

Self-intimacy, growing closer and more familiar with oneself, provided what I needed. It can be a mental, emotional or sexual process.

Masturbation is likely the most obvious form of self-intimacy, and not only is it beneficial — it is fun, too. It lets you get familiar with your body in a sexual manner; you learn what you like and what turns you on, and eventually you can communicate that to your partner to make the experience of being with another person for the first time all the better.

You can also be intimate by doing things to get comfortable with your body in a more general sense. The Cen-

ter for Relationship and Intimacy WellBeing recommends spending time naked, wearing clothing that makes you feel confident, taking the time to look at your body in a mirror or even taking sensual photos of yourself.

In reality, virginity may not be that big of a deal, but it can be easy to overthink it and have anxiety about having sex for the first time, especially the older you get. So, anything you can do to build your confidence will benefit you in the long run, whether you have a partner or not.

When you do not have that connection with yourself, it is almost natural to search for validation from a partner that can tell you the things that you do not see in yourself.

Speaking from experience, this can lead to some less-than-ideal situations — especially when you are rushing things with

someone simply because you feel like you are missing out on something that everyone else has experienced.

That is another reason why it is important to build confidence and grow comfortable in your own skin first by practicing self-intimacy – which does not even have to be a physical process. It can be as simple as being kinder to yourself or journaling to get in touch with your thoughts and feelings.

Self-intimacy is an important stepping stone – and a fun one, too – on the way to being intimate with another person for the first time. But it is not “one size fits all.” What makes someone else feel good about themselves may not make you feel the same way, and it is more than okay to take time to figure out what works for you.

It is not linear, either. Even though I am much more comfortable and connected with myself than I was years ago, I still have days where I find myself criticizing my body or comparing myself to others. That is okay, too, because I have gotten to the point where I know what self-intimacy processes work for me and what to do to make myself feel better.

Whatever paths you may choose, do not be frustrated when it does not happen overnight. Just like with other relationships, connecting and growing comfortable with yourself is a long, but worthwhile, process.

» LUCAS MARTINEZ/CHRONICLE

COLLEGE TO LAUNCH INTIMACY CERTIFICATE PROGRAM FOR GRADUATE STUDENTS

gram’s director, said the program is geared toward students with professional backgrounds in acting, directing, dance and even mental health. People working in TV would also be ideal candidates for the certification.

“It’s a good way to learn the skills,” Schmader said.

“Ultimately, it’s about creating consensual and safe practices on both sets and on the stage,” Schmader said. “People who are interested in diversity, equity and inclusion will also be good candidates for this because it’ll really delve into those areas in the coursework.”

When the certification program is officially launched and the first group of students is in the program in Fall 2023, it will also hone in on anti-racism practices.

undergraduate Intimacy and Physical Acting course.

“The course is designed to teach the tools, theories and protocols for staging moments of intimacy in theatre,” said Laura Sturm, an adjunct professor in the Theatre Department. “It also covers creating a consent-based environment, how to establish and respect boundaries, how to have a desexualized process and how to document the choreography.”

The Intimacy and Physical Acting course introduces students to skills associated with scenes that contain attraction, loss and abuse, specifically.

The certification program is currently accepting applications for the upcoming fall semester.

» OLIVIA COHEN EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

NEXT ACADEMIC YEAR, Columbia will roll out a new graduate certification program in the art of intimacy.

The program, which has been formally named Intimacy for Stage and Screen (Certificate), is a one-year course with a total of 16 credit hours.

Greg Geffrard is the intimacy coordinator and is serving as the practitioner-in-residence at Columbia, while teaching acting, with a specialization in intimacy. Geffrard said the course teaches the ways that people can advocate for themselves.

The practice of intimacy training and choreography have become more prevalent in both stage and film productions following the #MeToo movement. Some schools even require their students studying acting and film to complete coursework or training around it.

Intimacy training essentially teaches consent and boundaries around intimate scenes.

Geffrard has a background in sexual assault prevention education and has taught bystander and up-stander intervention training with the military, while

also working with college students during orientation season.

“I found that those practices and those tools needed to also exist in theater, because what we’re being asked is to explore and examine people who are usually in spaces that are operating outside of what is called the window of tolerance, the space in which they are making rational decisions,” Geffrard said.

Geffrard said urgency is something that drives intimacy and the processes behind it.

“Intimacy is allowing or creating a space where one can breathe,” Geffrard said.

“It’s all about consent. So it’s really about making sure that everyone’s issues and concerns are addressed in whatever production you’re working on,” Schmader said. “It’s incorporating both pillars of critical race theory and pay ing attention to gender and sexuality dynamics on set, too, in a way that is sensi tive, and [making] sure that all the participants in a pro duction have their needs cared for [and] paid attention to.”

“[The certification program is about finding] what the safety procedures are that we can put in place and create with the team in order to create that sustainability across the board,” Geffrard said.

OCOHEN@COLUMBIACHRONICLE.COM

Some of what Geffrard’s role entails as the intimacy coordinator is talking with directors, advocating for actors’ needs, leading “boundary workshops” and teaching boundary, consent and intimacy tools.

“The goal is ultimately to create a consent-based [and] trauma-informed space,” Geffrard said, to help people work in consensual ways with each other.

Kelly Schmader, assistant director of Graduate Admissions and the pro -

Geffrard said the course will also teach how to set up healthy protocols in the workplace. He said these protocols could be anywhere from using mouthwash or getting tested for any SDIs before two actors kiss or embrace, all the way to consenting to anything sex-related.

The certificate will be joining Columbia’s inti macy curriculum, as the college currently offers the

»ELIAS GONZALEZ/CHRONICLE

“It’s all about consent.”

CLOSING THE CURTAIN: THE IMPORTANCE OF AFTERCARE POST-SEX

» LILY THOMAS STAFF REPORTER

LIKE A PLAY, sex has a beginning, a middle and an end. The end of sex is called aftercare, and it involves sexual partners checking in and supporting each other’s needs.

Though aftercare originated in the BDSM and kink community, it can be a part of all sexual experiences.

Rachel Zar, a licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist, said sex is not a complete experience unless there is aftercare involved.

“Because the physical intimacy of sex is just as important as the emotional intimacy of sex, aftercare helps us to deal with any emotions that come up, to counter any sexual shame that there may be, to ground ourselves if we’re feeling

any post-coital dysphoria, PCD, and to increase our feeling of connection with our partner.”

During sex, several hormones, such as dopamine, are heightened. However when the sexual experience ends, Zar said oftentimes people experience a crash—which can manifest into PCD.

PCD causes negative emotions like sadness and anxiety after a consensual sexual experience. According to a study by the National Center for Biotechnology, 46% of respondents experienced PCD symptoms at least once.

“If you just had sex with this person and immediately after sex ends, they just roll over and start to do something else, it’s almost like they’re abandoning the moment, like they’re not really present with you,” Zar said. “They’re not helping you transition and you’re not helping them transition from this playful space back into reality, and that’s what’s really important.”

Zar said aftercare can be a variety of things, including: cuddling, kissing, having a snack, rehydrating, watch-

ing a movie together, showering, taking care of any injuries or even having a simple conversation.

First-year Jamie Davis, whose major is undecided, believes there is a lot of shame surrounding the topic, which leads to miscommunications between sexual partners.

“I think we need to change the way we socially talk about sex,” Davis said. “Even though we’ve tried to come very far, I feel there’s [still] discomfort about it. I think that everyone would benefit from just being more honest and more open about things.”

Zar recommends self-advocating for the type of aftercare you want. If you do not feel comfortable asking someone for aftercare, Zar said to considering if they are a safe person for you to be vulnerable with.

For Davis, sex has been like a “double-edged sword” because of a combination of negative and positive experiences. Though they have only experienced true aftercare once, they enjoy talking about the experience after. Going forward, they will try to discuss their wants and needs before sexual experiences.

“I’m trying to be more honest about these experiences,” Davis said. “I hope that maybe I’ll meet somebody and they’re like ‘Yeah that happened to me too.’ I think there’s some kind of comfort in talking about it with people, and anyone who actually matters will be understanding.”

First year creative writing major Cassius Green said he believes anyone who engages in sex should also be engaging in aftercare, whether you are in a relationship or not.

“A lot of people think that aftercare is only something for people that are in love or in relationships, and I think that’s also not true,” Green said. “It doesn’t always have to be holding each other and talking about how much you love each other. Aftercare can be more casual and it can also be sexy.”

His favorite form of aftercare involves cleaning up and getting dressed before making tea and toast to replenish themselves.

“It’s not also just about one person taking care of the other,” Green said. “It’s for both people to just experience connection and express appreciation for one another after you engage in sex, which is a very intimate thing.”

» KAILEY RYAN/CHRONICLE

RELIGION, CULTURE, SOCIETY: STUDENTS TALK PERSPECTIVE ON SEXUAL IDENTITY

» KAELAH SERRANO PHOTOJOURNALIST

SEX IN COLLEGE may be a concept that's difficult to discuss when navigating comfort, boundaries, identity, orientation and trust. Non-inclusive education is potentially more damaging to a student's sexual journey according to the Human Rights Campaign foundation.

For students whose religion and culture heavily influenced their ideas about sex, this can be particularly harrowing. The Chronicle asked students to share how cultural, religious and even societal expectations have impacted their sex journey and awareness.

The Chronicle selected a handful of these student's stories to feature in print. For more perspectives, you can read the full story on our website.

KSERRANO@COLUMBIACHRONICLE.COM

20-year-old Amor Morales López, a sophomore film and television major, had similar experiences growing up in a strict, religious Latin family. López said he was too guilty and ashamed to explore his sexuality or engage in sex. “I really felt like I couldn’t do anything when it came down to my sexuality,” López said.

He said he has had no access to LGBTQ+ or sexual health resources.

His mother, a practicing Catholic, reinforced her own ideas about faith, which created “a sense of guilt that’s placed onto anything that has to do with sexual activities.”

19-year-old Aaliyah Stottleheimer, a sophomore photography major, grew up in a Catholic Mexican American family. They were constantly being referred to as a woman that's expected to marry a man someday.

“You’re going to get married in a church, and your purpose of marriage is to produce babies,” Stottlehiemer said, referring to comments their parents have told them.

Amor Morales López

COMMUNITY POP-UP PROVIDES FREE CLOTHING FOR GENDER NONCONFORMING, TRANSGENDER COMMUNITIES

» AMARIS EDWARDS STAFF REPORTER

AS A TRANS individual, Wing Yun Schreiber has been experimenting with fashion and gender expression for years.

In January 2022, Schreiber founded Gods Closet Chi, a community pop-up closet that provides gender-affirming clothing to trans and gender nonconforming individuals in Chicago.

“I kind-of realized that I didn’t have access to the resources that I needed in order to experiment,” Schreiber said. “I just realized that was really limiting and that is an experience that not only I was having, that other trans people had as well.” Schreiber recognized that people have an abundance of clothing they could give away and as a community could pool resources and “share the abundance.”

With four pop-ups since the origin of Gods Closet Chi, their events spaces are free of charge with DJs, stylists, tailors and makeup artists to create “a safe and celebratory space where [people] can experiment, explore, and co-create personal expression through fashion,” Schreiber said.

Schreiber said one of the most rewarding aspects of the events is when people look through the racks and ask how much they have to pay, to which they get to inform the shoppers that the clothes are free.

“The way that people light up and to see that, we just had a lot of people respond really meaningfully,” Schreiber said.

Vivi Montalvo, who attended God’s Closet Chi’s most recent pop-up event last November, said it was refreshing to be in a space with other gender nonconforming and trans people of color, especially as a member of the QTBIPOC community.

“It made me feel really comfortable and I felt like I could really express myself and everyone there was like hyping other people up who were very new to this,” Montalvo said.

Montalvo also said the racks allowed them to challenge gender expression through their clothing options.

“It made me feel more empowered to think outside of the box with my clothes, and everything was mixed in — there wasn’t like a men’s or women’s [section],” Montalvo said.

Stevie Schakowsky, co-curator of God’s Closet Chi, remembered when

Schreiber mentioned the idea of creating the community rack.

Schakowsky said they were both working as barbacks at this time and they wanted to help Schreiber actualize the rack idea, in part due to their mutual aid experience over the years.

Schakowsky said it has only progressed from there. “[It] just started as us sorting through donations at our old apartment, and then kind-of just has grown so much,” they said.

Schakowsky said the space has been really powerful for them and that there has not been an outlet in Chicago for this sort of thing.

“It’s given me a lot of perspective on also just how much we can really just take care of each other,” Schakowsky said.

God’s Closet Chi will be hosting an inaugural fundraiser event sometime this spring that will consist of two parts. There will be a runway show featuring transgender models, paired with transgender designers, followed by a dance party to close the event.

AEDWARDS@COLUMBIACHRONICLE.COM

NAVIGATING SEX WORK WITHOUT SEX

» VIVIAN RICHEY STAFF REPORTER

NAUGHTY SHEENA, 41, has been a phone sex operator since she was 19. She recently discovered she was the highest-ranked paid operator on Calljanedoe.com.

Despite being paid so much, Sheena has never posed for any photos revealing more than her undergarments.

Sheena encourages women to understand the control they have over their bodies while working in the industry.

“The money is there. When you really wanna make the money, stay true to yourself and stay true to who you are,” Sheena said.

Katie Rodenkirch, a therapist for the Chicago Center for Sex and Wellbeing, has worked with a variety of sex workers, including ones involved with a new type of sex work that has been on the rise: findom.

Findom is short for “financial domination,” in which clients pay money for the pleasure of knowing that they paid for a worker’s shopping trips or financial needs. While findom may not technically be sexual work, it is known as a part of the BDSM (bondage, discipline, dominance and submission) category due to the men receiving pleasure from feeling powerful.

Rodenkirch recalls one client who paid for a worker’s college tuition and another who was paid to keep a client caged up.

“One of my most recent conversations was with a financial dominatrix who had a client in a chastity cage for a year and a half, operating under the hope that she had lost his key and he would be permanently caged,” Rodenkirch said.

Some sex workers work in multiple areas in the industry. Lauren Kiley, 36, has done on-screen solo and partner work, erotic audio, sex work management, activism and everything in between. Her journey with sex work began with sugaring and escorting, which transitioned into fetish porn.

Kiley said her work days can be long.

“I shoot all of my own material which includes doing my own outfits, my own makeup touches, all of that,” she said.

Kiley’s solo shoot days end with a big dinner and a long shower; however, collaboration days end in a celebration where she and her coworkers can discuss what they did and did not like during the filming process, Kiley said.

She appreciates opportunities to work for other studios. “If I’m shooting for another studio, all I have to do is show up and perform; if I’m shooting for myself, I have to set up the lights, set up the camera [and] make sure my camera is charged,” she said.

While Kiley is well established as a performer, she is also known in the industry for her work as an activist, promoting performers of all types and helping to get their work on multiple sites.

“One of the things I hope my work enables other independent performers to do is unload some of that production company work,” she said. “There [are] only so many hours in a day and no one person can do the work of an entire production company.”

OPINION: CHICAGO NEEDS TO DECRIMINALIZE SEX WORK

» ZOË TAKAKI STAFF REPORTER

CHICAGO'S RESPONSE TO sex work unfairly targets people who are often already in vulnerable groups. Whether it be women, people of color, immigrants or low-income individuals, the current law system that criminalizes prostitution only causes involved parties harm.

In 2017, the Chicago Police Department arrested 734 people for prostitution-related offenses. Of those, 91% of the arrests were sellers (the sex workers themselves. )

Just 8% were buyers, and less than 1% were the pimps connecting them.

“The laws that we currently have make it a lot easier for police to use biases and [unregulated] practices to criminalize this group of people,” said Logan Sweeney, a Chicago law clerk who wrote about the decriminalization of sex work in 2021 while a student at Loyola University Chicago School of Law.

Her research found the criminalization of sex work disproportionately harms LGBTQ+ people, particularly transgender women, as well as people of color and immigrants.

In 2018, the Chicago City Council passed a prostitution-loitering law stating that police should order people they “believe” are engaged in prostitution-related loitering to leave the area instead of arresting them outright.

If they return within an eight-hour period they may be arrested, given a fine between $50 and $500 or imprisoned for up to six months for the first offense, and then face a minimum five-day sentence in jail for a reoccurring offense.

The law makes assumptions of someone's criminal activity and can lead to prejudiced police action; despite the law's dispersal orders, arrests are still taking place.

Chicago’s Gang Congregation Ordinance, which allowed officers to arrest

anyone they presumed to be a member of a gang, was struck down by the U.S. Supreme Court in 1999 for being just as vague. This vagueness led to police unfairly targeting certain groups of people, similarly to the prostitution-loitering law. The prostitution-loitering law should face the same fate.

Sweeney fears the prostitution-loitering law will continue to lead to prejudiced assumptions made by police.

For years, sex work advocates have been calling for the decriminalization of sex work.

A 2020 study by the American Civil Liberties Union found the criminalization of sex work increases the risk of violence and threatens the safety of sex workers. The study found “in heavily policed, criminalized contexts, sex workers are often physically or sexually coerced by police through threat of detention, violence (including rape), or extortion.”

Yet, Chicago has no plans to decriminalize sex work.

Sweeney said decriminalization should look like “taking away every single penalty, every single regulation, every single authority that allows the police to get involved in these people's lives.”

Chicago needs to decriminalize sex work to decrease violence and improve the lives of sex workers and put an end to prejudiced police action. The stigmatization of sex work will only worsen with these arrests and threats to sex workers.

Arresting people and issuing fines will not stop people from buying and selling sex. It will create more violence, create more barriers to improvements in people’s lives and keep people in poverty.

"In 2017, the Chicago Police Department arrested 734 people for prostitutionrelated offenses. Of those, 91% of the arrests were sellers (the sex workers themselves.) Just 8% were buyers, and less than 1% were the pimps connecting them."

"Arresting people and issuing fines will not stop people from buying and selling sex. It will create more violence, create more barriers to improvements in people’s lives and keep people in poverty."

“A special, physical and trusted moment between two partners with actions and boundaries agreed upon through consent in order for both partners to get enjoyment out of the experience.”

“The ability to feel safe next to someone and close even if you are far away physically.”

“I define intimacy as being able to [be] emotional, physical, and spiritual with someone. I also find intimacy when being able to feel comfortable with someone and connected.”

“The closeness of bodies, hearts and souls longing to be with one another.”

“Intimacy is the ability to trust a partner or partners with vulnerable parts of yourself, whether it be your mind, body, emotions or experiences.”

THE INTIMACY SURVEY

Intimacy is everywhere. It is in the movies we watch, the songs we listen to and the thoughts racing through our minds when we see someone we love. In honor of this year’s Sex Issue’s “intimacy” theme, the Chronicle has asked its readers to define what intimacy means to them.

“I’m single! So I’d say ‘Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas.’”

“‘Clueless.’ Specifically Tai and Travis.”

“‘Just Friends.’ We started out as best platonic friends and then years later, admitted our interest for each other. Been dating for over three years now.”

“Bittersweetly, ‘Your Name Engraved Herein.’”

“I'm single, so The Big Lebowski.”

"How do you like to be shown love?"

“When someone fills up my water bottle because they noticed it’s empty on their own.”

“I feel loved when someone thinks of me when I’m not there. Hearing someone I love and care about say ‘Oh, I saw [blank] and thought of you’ makes me feel very loved.”

“When she pretends to be interested while I talk about bionicles.”

“Words because they mean the most to me as a writer, its how I show my own love.”

“I like to be surprised, listened to, spoiled, cuddled and valued for my mind.”

“Love is more than just a physical thing. Love is a whole mind and body experience. Lust is purely physical.”

“Love is wanting someone even when they don't want you, lust fades.”

“Love comes with more layers, complexity and greater peace. It isn’t so much difficult but feels rewarding. Lust comes instantly and passionately.”

“Lust would be like picking a flower and taking it for its physical beauty, while love would be taking care of the flower where it stands and admiring everything about it to the tiniest molecule.”

“Love is when all the songs make sense. Lust is when all the porn makes sense.”

"How do you define intimacy?"

"What movie do you think reflects the relationship between you and your partner?"

"How do you define the difference between love and lust?"

NEXT ISSUE MAY 2