The Comet Magazine - February 2022

EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE

EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE

everything will be fine

THIS issue

thecometmagazine@gmail.com

crossword..................................PAGE 7

BENJAMIN CHAUD........................PAGE 8

WRITE ON THE RIVER ....................PAGE 12

DATURA........................................PAGE 14

LOVE/EROTIC POETRY................... PAGE 16

FILTHY LITTLE PICTURES..............PAGE 20

SHEFLY.........................................PAGE 26

ART BEAT.................... ................ PAGE 30

CLIT 101...........................................PAGE 32

sasquatch afternoon..............page 34

THANKS FOR all THE FISH...........PAGE 35

FUNNY PAGES................................PAGE 36

FEBRUARY 2022

editor: Ron Evans

contributors: Sarah Sims, Cory Calhoun, Skylar Hansford, Lance Reese, Lindsay Breidenthal, Holly Thorpe, Bill Griffith, Christopher F. Hart

Cover painting by Ron Evans

COMET HEADQUARTERS

Greetings,

This here is our 40th issue of The Comet Magazine. Numbers are funny and a little arbitrary, but we do tend to celebrate those nice rounded milestones and 40 feels like a substantial chunk of papers to put out so…hooray! In all sincerity, I really appreciate the support and continued readership of this little rag. This past year has seen the biggest growth in distribution since our inception on a balmy late September evening back in 2017. Holly Thorpe (co-founder of The Comet who left to get a pack of smokes and never came back - although she is still writing for the mag so I guess she kinda came back and I’ll just go ahead and end the world’s longest parenthetical right here) and I were starry eyed as we picked up the first issue (a mere 16 pages) from the press. We had been dreaming about starting a magazine like this for a couple years. We talked about finding funding or working under a parent company but we realized we wanted full control of content. And once we decided to go out on our own with it - the beast was born.

It’s morphed and evolved over the years. Features have come and gone, writers have come and gone. But the exciting thing for me has been creating a place for local creatives to let their freak flag fly a little. And that has helped lead to new contributions and readership that has been picking up steam in Ellensburg, Yakima and starting this month, the Methow Valley.

In the beginning we had high -but tentative- hopes of reaching a small, passionate group of weirdos that would not only be interested in things like live music, art exhibits and locally written poetry, but also sasquatch erotica, drag queens, local pinups and scientific facts about farts. So thanks for being into that kind of shit. The magazine has been called smut, immature, degrading and my favorite…filth and propaganda. A term that I have often thought about putting on the cover - it’s so good. But it’s also been met with lots of love and acceptance and a sort of built-in expectation that it will continue to exist. It’s just something we have now. And I love that.

So pour a hot tea (what you spike it with aint my biz), sit back and enjoy this new issue that’s packed with interesting locals doing amazing things. I hope the magazine continues to inspire and encourage new creativity and helps spawn new creative outlets. I also hope it continues to cause more people to shake their fist in the general direction of Cory “Damn You” Calhoun as he stumps us on another crossword puzzle. Damn him indeed.

Here’s to at least another 40 issues of Filth and Propaganda!

Happy Trails,

Ron Evans Editor of The Comet

Circa 2017, Holly Thorpe and I proudly displaying our very first issue as we picked it up from the press. Our expressions perfectly portray the excitement and terror of what we just got ourselves into.

CORY "DAMN YOU" CALHOUN'S

Puzz e Corner

CROSSWORDS & MORE MADE EXCLUSIVELY FOR THE COMET

"ON THE SHOPPING BLOCK"

ACROSS

1. Barriers

8. Blu-ray player error message

14. Reach an equilibrium

15. Not dismissive of

16. Like candlelit dinners

18. Surroundings

19. "Cheap Thrills" singer

20. Like muffled audio, briefly

22. Bingo hall call

23. Falco of "The Sopranos"

25. Marsh wader

26. Bank deposit?

27. Runs contrary to how things really are

29. Indian bread

31. Devoured

32. Festoons with Charmin, say

33. Cockney greeting

34. Lean- (sheds)

35. Ratty place?

38. Timecard abbr.

39. Some Biblical pronouns

41. Tribute, of sorts

42. "As saying ..."

44. Microbrew choice, for short

45. The Bengals, on scoreboards

46. What poli-sci majors study: Abbr.

47. Les Tire Center

51. -bitty

53. Rushing-air sound

55. Alliance acronym

56. " joke to you?!"

57. Beige

58. Sigur (Icelandic rockers)

59. Filmed, in Hollywood slang

61. Liquid-in-liquid suspension

65. Eventually

66. "Always on Time" singer

67. Meeting minimum

68. Online "I’m not a robot" test

DOWN

1. Jamie’s twin sister on "Game of Thrones"

2. Egg-shaped objects

3. Stay

4. Genetic stuff

5. Suffix with ball or bass

6. Protein source

7. Subway entrance

8. Very small

9. Big name in nail polish

10. Where heroes are made?

11. Launch

12. Work-boot feature

13. Noblewoman

17. Neighborhood convenience, and alsothis puzzle's theme

21. Young horses

24. Feminine suffix

25. Santa’s syllables

28. Bit of parsley

30. Sexist or racist, say

35. Interpersonal-skills measure

36. Where to find "Cut" and "Paste"

37. Discussed, as details

38. Mayhem

40. WandaVision actress Kathryn

43. Knocked their socks off, informally

44. Relative of -esque

48. 2008 political satire starring John Cusack

49. Words before and after "for" in a quote about quid pro quo

50. Sarajevo's locale

52. ‘94 Nobel Peace Prize co-winner Arafat

54. Medicinal plant

60. Ostrich cousin

62. Member of 55-Across, briefly

63. Southpaw on a diamond: Abbr.

64. Took a load off

COMING NEXT ISSUE: PART 2 OF THE MEGA META!

See below for the answer to last issue's Part 1. Visit tinyurl.com/2022megametarules for contest details.

DOUBLE ANAGRAM CHALLENGE

tinyurl.com/coryanagrams<

SOLUTIONS TO LAST EDITION'S META CROSSWORD PRIZE CONTEST

The meta answer is SURPRISE (Hint #1: Find an 8-letter word. More on hint #2 later.) Both a regular meta and the first part of 2022's (optional/fun) mega-meta contest, this had 2(!) hints--and hint #2 was key to solving hint #1.

spelled ASK BY EMAIL TO GET THE SECOND HINT (see grid, in

3 answersspelledout "ASKBYEMAILTOGETTHESECONDHINT" (seegrid,in yellow).Youhadto ask meforhint#2byusingmyemail address, foundonthis page eachissue.Thosewhodidgot a linkto a Cameovideocontaininghint#2. (Cameo.comisanapp/websiteforrequestingpersonalizedcelebritymessages.)

Playingoffofthe puzzle'stitle,"Special GuestStar,"thevideo "starred" actor John de Lancie, who played the role of Q on "Star Trek:TheNextGeneration!" (Watch the Cameovideoat tinyurl.com/metahint2).

MISLEADTRANSFER

Whyhim?Thepuzzlehasexactly 4 Qs(see ESTDRSSNLTORI grid,inyellow).Inthevideo,hesayshint#2:

"IQ,twoQ,threeQ,four:whatliesbelowandbefore?"Findthelettersbelowandbeforethe puzzle's Qs(seegrid,inlightblue)tospell SURPRISE--whichisboththemetaanswerand what a specialgueststarin a cameoroleoftenis.(MANYthankstoMr.deLancie!)CongratstoGeri Emrick forsolvingthemetahint!LookforPART2of2022'smega-metacontestinthenextissue!

Imagecourtesyof Cameo.com

SOLUTIONS TO LAST EDITION'S ANACROSTIC CHALLENGE

ANSWERS: envelop, lowers, lugs, "I can't," overused, TheShining , popover, attract, gloss, evil. QUOTE: Loving other people starts with loving ourselves and accepting ourselves. QUOTE'S

AUTHOR: ELLIOTPAGE (spelledoutbytheanswers'firstletters)

I CRAVE FEEDBACK! Thoughts? Suggestions? Lemme have it. CSCXWORDS@GMAIL.COM

FEATURING:@benjaminchaud_illustration AUTEUR ILLUSTRATEUR

VOLUNTEER PROFILE: MELISSA GALE

By Holly Thorpe

As a nonprofit with no paid staff, Write on the River relies on its board and volunteers to help organize events, orchestrate marketing and do all the other things that keeps an organization up and running.

In our first-ever volunteer profile, we spoke with Melissa Gale, who has been involved with WOTR as a board member and a volunteer. Melissa is instrumental in helping coordinate writer visits and workshops. Most recently, she helped organize a virtual experimental writing workshop with Matt Sullivan.

About Melissa Litigation paralegal by day, storyteller at heart, Melissa Gale has written for myerotica.com as @write2unpack, and has flash fiction pieces published in “Flash! A Celebration of Short Fiction,” “Itty Bitty Writing Space,” and “Worth 1,000 Words” with fellow writer, Orin Melvin. She’s recommitted to posting a monthly blog on her website www.write2unpack.com. When she is not working her day job, or creating sexy worlds, she can usually be found replenishing her soul in nature, tending her gardens, or with her husband, children, two crazy dogs and the cat who thinks she’s a dog.

You have been with Write on the River for some time now, as a board member and volunteer. What first drew you to the organization, and what has been most rewarding working with them? The weekend writing conferences first caught my attention. The camaraderie, support, and shared love of writing and writers is what’s kept me.

What projects are you currently working on?

Erotic short stories based on the energies of the Major Arcana cards of the Tarot. It’s a pretty lofty goal, there’s 22!

Did you find your genre or did your genre find you? Tell us about how you’ve formed your writing identity.

I’ve been a devourer of books since I was a child. Nancy Drew, Robert Asprin, and Anne McCaffrey were my early influences. Then I found Stephen King and was hooked on science fiction/horror. I started writing erotica and romance because that’s what my characters wanted to do and it’s easier to just let them do what they want.

I wrote a short fiction piece called “Leon Loves Purple Too” that won third place in the WOTR competition. It starts as a children’s story, but the bees had a different idea and it’s morphed into a science fiction horror story. There’s not a big divide between erotica and horror. Body responses are almost the same, right? Goosebumps, racing heart, stomach clenches, nipples erect... is it erotica? Or is it science fiction horror? I just like making people feel something when they read my stories — happy in the happy parts, laugh in the funny parts, turned on in the sexy parts.

What advice do you have for writers just getting started, especially in your genres?

It’s not your job to make people like what you write. They will like it, or not. Your job is to write it.

What is your biggest weakness or greatest struggle as a writer?

I’m equally afraid of success as I am of failure.

Sometimes it’s hard to know when to put a project to bed — how do you know when you’ve finished something?

Trick question. I don’t know that I could ever say something is “done.”

How does the revision process work for you? Love it? Dread it?

Love the revision process, and hate it. I write and it’s the best thing I’ve ever created. Set it aside for a day or two and go back and it’s absolute crap — how could I have written this? Then I fix it and it’s the

most wonderful shining beautiful thing ever written, ever! Set it aside for a bit, and I should never give up my day job...

What are you reading these days?

“48 Laws of Power” by Robert Greene. I just read Law 6: “Court attention at all costs.” Thanks for this opportunity, Holly! How very timely. Thank you, Universe!

Anything else we should know about your upcoming work?

I’m hoping to begin publishing the short stories at the end of this year or early next, revamping my website, and am looking forward to marketing and merch. Maybe stickers for sale? Something “Tarot-y”? If you know of a local artist who’d consider teaming up to create a line of stickers, send them my way!

Coming up next...

Feb. 16: WOTR and NCW Libraries

NCW Writers Group

Every third Wednesday, 4-5 p.m., held virtually

Join NCW Libraries and Write on the River for an inclusive writers’ club for writers of all ages, skill levels, genres and interests. The NCW Writers’ Club is a virtual writing community created by local writers, for local writers. This club is designed to connect people and artists, discuss the craft, ask for advice and share resources. Meetings are every third Wednesday from 4-5 p.m., with an optional social hour afterward. Wenatchee librarian Nik Penny and Write on the River board member Holly Thorpe will host the club virtually on Zoom. In-person options may be added in the future. All NCW Libraries virtual events are free and open to the public. Find more information at ncwlibraries.org

To learn more about Write on the River, become a member, or register for events, visit writeontheriver.org. Membership is $35 per year, and offers free or discounted access to all WOTR events. Questions? Contact info@writeontheriver.org. C

By Ron Evans

Wenatchee’s DATURA unleashes a new full-length LP, Arcano Chemical, the trio’s first release under Sell The Heart Records who signed the band in 2021. The 11-track album features brand new material and some old ghosts all in the classic DATURA gothy, post-punk stylings.

Singer David Betancourt’s melancholic but catchy tones ring out from a fog of echo as if he’s lurking somewhere in the distant shadows, almost out of range. The gritty and metallic resonance of Betancourt’s guitar glides like a banshee over Jake St. Johns’s brooding, clean bass lines and Shafer’s subtle and clever drumming. It all comes together (seemingly) effortlessly with an eerie production and atmosphere that perfectly understands the ominous message it’s delivering.

As someone who was coming of age when bands like The Cure and Sisters Of Mercy were actually on top 40 radio (that really happened) it’s hard for me to not be somewhat haunted by nostalgia when listening to this album. I sort of wish I could go back in time and put “Orphans” or “Dare You” on a mix-tape for the gothy girl in science class that I had a crush on, but was terrified to talk to. And while the

throwback to this era of post-punk is authentic and heartfelt, DATURA doesn’t go so far down that path that it’s not also its own thing.

Arcano Chemical is dark, melodic and focused with songs that have a strange enticing effect - like a siren luring us into the unknown. And we will likely follow because it’s just too damn catchy to resist.

I sat down with bassist Jake St. John to talk about the album, their new label deal and what’s coming down the road for the band.

Talk a little about the conception of the album and the timeline of recording and releasing it.

Some of the songs on Arcano Chemical have been around since the beginning of the band and even before David and I met.

“Bloody Shores” for example was a song he wrote in his teens or twenties. He and I worked out that one in our first couple jam sessions before Tiffany joined. The song was dropped from our set for a couple years, but we decided to bring it back for this album. Tiffany really pushed to include the song and I’m glad we did it. “Orphans” originally appeared on our first EP.

“Trapped,” “Phantasma,” “Dare You” and “Our Ship is Lost” were all written before COVID. When the pandemic hit, and our

show calendar got wiped out, we retreated to the practice space to write the rest of the record and to tighten up the arrangements, tempos, lyrics, etc. We recorded the album in June of 2021, got in touch with Andy Pohl from Sell the Heart Records later in the summer and started working out the details for the release.

I don’t wanna expose any of the band’s powerful secret shit, but what can you tell us about the album title?

A couple years ago, I read the Broken Earth trilogy by N.K. Jemisin, an absolutely mind-bending blend of science fiction and fantasy. Her world, characters, and plot twists are totally original, even psychedelic. Somewhere in the series she uses the term. I loved it and pitched it to the band for the album title. Without getting too far into the implications of what it means in context of the books or for its meaning for the band, it was a pretty unanimous yes.

Where was the album recorded - who recorded/ produced it?

We recorded the instruments with Chad Yenney at Earth to Emma and the vocals with Greg Shapovalov at Narrative Sound. We didn’t really need a producer for this one as all the arrangements were studio-

ready before we went in. Tiffany put a ton of work into ensuring the tempos were solid, and David made sure the lyrics and concepts of each song were dialed beforehand, so there wasn’t much left to do but make sure we got good takes. I think we recorded the instruments at Chad’s place in one weekend, and then over the next couple weeks, we’d go to Greg’s to do the vocals a few songs at a time.

The one exception is our single “Everything Turns Black.” We played that song a bunch in practice for a while and tried out all kinds of things, but we shelved it because it wasn’t manifesting in a way we all really loved. I finally went into Narrative Sound in the summer of 2020 and the magic of it came together there. I went in with a skeleton, and the arpeggiated synth and guitar lines were fleshed out in the studio. When it comes to David’s solo project, SHANX FM, I believe a lot of those songs take shape as he works with Greg at Narrative Sound.

The cover art is incredible. Tell us about the artist and how this image came to be your LP graphic?

Thank you! We’re very pleased with how it turned out. A couple years ago, I started following this solo psych-industrial band

DATURA lurking in the dark: Tiffany Shafer, David Betancourt, Jake St. John - photo by Jana Divis

from England called Primitive Knot. The guy is prolific. He cranks out multiple releases a year, and it’s all rad–hypnotic, riffbased, lo-fi. He did a record in 2021 called Fight the Future. I loved the album artwork. It’s this grainy and affected image of a dog’s maw coming right at you. I looked up the artist, who goes by Pla.g.u.e on Instagram. He produces lots of violent, apocalyptic digital collage stuff that’s very suited for extreme metal bands, but we asked him if he could work with us, and he agreed. He’s from a remote little village in Argentina. He was very responsive to our ideas, made sure the image fit the atmosphere we wanted, and would sit well with our listening audience. We keep in touch now. It’s been a fun relationship, and I hope to work with him on future projects

Any fan of what was happening in Seattle in the early 90s will likely know the name TAD Doyle. How did TAD end up in the mix? So to speak. It was nothing crazy really. I just emailed him and asked if he’d be willing to master our album. He’s worked with some amazing bands over the years as a sound engineer. I’m familiar with more of his metal / hardcore leaning clientele: Zeke, Addaura, Black Bone Exorcism, Brothers of the Sonic Cloth, Heiress, Profound Lore Records. I think that he also may have worked on one of Andrew Houck’s projects (Ghost Power!!!/Otho). It was really cool that he agreed to work with us. TAD was amazingly quick, polite, and helpful with any questions we had about the process.

You recently signed with Sell The Heart Records, tell us how that transpired and what that means for the future of DATURA.

We got in contact with Andy from STH through Facebook a couple years ago. He posted that he was looking for new bands for his roster, and Ando (Peart) from Snatchee Records was kind enough to let us know. I sent Andy a quick email with some Bandcamp links to our first two EPs, and he got back to us right away about working with the label. It felt good to receive such an enthusiastic and quick response from him. We discussed releasing something on vinyl, but we didn’t really have enough material for a full album, and since our first EPs had already been released, we mutually decided it wasn’t the right time. After recording Arcano Chemical and talking with a couple other labels, we reconnected with Andy about doing cassettes, and he was into it. The vinyl productions plants were

super backed up with wait times extending over a year, so a cassette run was appealing for everyone because sitting on an album for that long really kills the exigence. We figured we’d just do what we could with physical merch, so STH ended up pressing some CDs and making some shirts too.

What our relationship with STH means for DATURA is getting more (and quicker) exposure to a broader audience that we’d struggle to attain on our own. Andy is supportive, professional, hard-working, and he has connections and resources we don’t have. For example, we’re working with Tim Anderl at Sweet Cheetah Promotions through the label for PR, and it’s been very helpful. Tim is a killer dude who has lots of connections.

We’re not really sure what the future holds, as everything is uncertain.

We do have a couple tentative shows booked for Wenatchee, one in Portland, and two in Seattle. Beyond that, we don’t want to say too much.

What are some other bands on the label you think people should check out?

STH is pretty eclectic, so I’d say there may be something for everyone. The label’s bread and butter is made of upbeat, driving punk bands like Decent Criminal, Neckscars, and JukeBox Romantics. Tulpa Luna reminds me of King Missile. Unconditional Arms and Snipers are soaring postrock. Middle-Age Queers fucking rip it old skool. Check out their album Too F*g for Love.

You said the album will be released on cassette which makes me happy. What are the plans/timeline for releasing on the other formats?

Sell the Heart is releasing the album on CD; however, a couple weeks ago, we were contacted by Tomasz Woodraf, owner of Bat Cave Productions in Poland about doing a deluxe CD run for distribu-

tion in the EU. We’re super excited about that, as it is cost prohibitive for us to ship abroad, and we do have an audience in Europe. He’s currently doing pre-sales, and the CD will be available in March there. Bat Cave works with tons of goth and postpunk bands we admire from the states and around the world like Nox Novacula, Altar De Fey, Fearing, Otzi, Padkarosda. We are honored to be included with artists like these.

Most recently, Andy from STH proposed we do a small run of vinyl with the caveat that we get enough pre-orders to make it feasible. The idea was to run the pre-order campaign for a month, and it’s been going well, so hopefully we’ll be able to finalize this and get things rolling. We’re absolutely stoked because we’ve wanted to do vinyl all along but had accepted that it probably wasn’t in the cards for this album. Luckily, we had TAD do a vinyl master for us too, just in case.

What were you all listening to while working on the album?

Man, let’s see…Tiffany was on Siouxsie and the Banshees, The Cramps, and Calabrese as well as La Luz and Messer Chups, but those last two didn’t really influence her playing as much as the others.

David got on a black metal kick and loves Mütiilation, Darkthrone, Spectral Wound, Këkht Aräkh, and a bunch of other bands I can’t spell, let alone pronounce. He’s also really into She Past Away, Drab Majesty, and Lebanon Hanover.

Typically, I listen to lots of metal in the mornings, and as the day progresses, I get into bands like Nick Cave, New Model Army, Wovenhand, Chameleons, Black Marble. In the evening, it’s ambient synth records, movie scores and world music like Jóhann Jóhannsson, Dead Can Dance and Stephan Micus.

Overall, my biggest influence for DATURA is The Cure. I remember talking with the mates around the time that the Bury Me EP dropped that the next thing we did needed to be in the vein of Pornography by The Cure. I don’t know if we nailed the vibe entirely, as some of the songs are more upbeat, but we got close with one or two.

As mentioned, things are still pretty up in the air concerning live shows at the moment, but are there any plans set on a tour to promote the record?

Since everything is so uncertain, we are reluctant to share more until we have something concrete to report. We have talked with Andy about playing in the Bay area and David has worked very hard to establish relationships along the Westcoast with bands, promoters and our audience. I hope a tour will eventually happen. It’s just a matter of time and will.

Anything else on the horizon you want to plug?

We have some video concepts for a few songs from the album, and we hope to work on some of those this year. We’re kind of on our own schedule with this and there’s no real rush to follow the album release with videos and tours. I’m always chomping at the bit to write new material, but that has slowed down a bit with our personal lives being so busy and with most of our attention going to the album release. It’s been a big project and has taken lots of time and energy.

We’d like to thank everyone for being so supportive. We appreciate seeing people come out to our shows, buy merch, and share our music with others. That means a lot to us. Special thanks to the local bands we play and to Ando at Snatchee Records for fostering a thriving local scene.

selltheheartrecords.bandcamp.com/ daturapnw.bandcamp.com C

Album artwork by Pla.g.u.e

LAST LOVERS POEM

By Faith Merz

Heartbreak is not what I thought it would be. It is not fast and sudden, but rather like a cool slow burn. Like wanting to shower from the inside out, like the call of a train while I wait for it to snow.

I was brushing my teeth and thought I found your hair in my mouth. I’ve been sleeping with the window open because the cold air is the only thing that feels real. I’ve been trying to remember, I can’t quite recall what you smell like anymore. The heat of this warm bed is just mine, and the night air keeps moving in.

I had a dream I was with your mother, her belly full and round with the anticipation of you. The air was soft and gold and she spoke of all of her hope of what a good man you’ll be someday. As if my subconscious needed to form some kind of apology for all the havoc your pain would cause.

I have watched morning geese fly and the moon rise against the horizon. I have peered through my rearview window and found only absence in the backseat.

All too few words that come. Heartbreak is not what I thought it would be.

By Mery Smith

Eyes

DENTICULATION

By Faith Merz

I do not want another love poem, I do not want another metaphor.

Star crossed lovers, fist full of roses, masticated mushy mushy. I want to chew with my teeth. Make! Me! Work! For! What! I! Want!

I do not want another love poemfor my teeth, the hardest parts of me, ache to know. The feeling of questioning, the taste of life, and all of its digestible forms.

PROOF

EMPTY RUMMAGE

By Faith Merz

Pretending concepts collide, the poet aches and spurns. Where does love exist when no one is looking?

My home has been empty for months, designed increasingly for a quantity of one. I keep looking between the crack in my bed, behind the bookshelf, the couch cushions too.

Convinced it’ll have the likeness of a marble, something small and lost. Where does something so precious hide?

Listen, I’m not sure how to write these things. And I don’t know where the line between adoration and heartbreak begins and ends.

I’ve bent over backwards, all of the cupboards are wide open. And in the coming dawn the floorboards have all been released from their confines.

And as the fleeting song of the first sparrow breaks the day. I’ll turn, curled upon myself ankles hooked in silent prayer to wherever that marble may be.

I’ll turn in, and sleep with the lover deep inside of me.

BUTTERFINGERS

By Carrie Casio

inside. outside. around. inside again. clumsy.

clumsy again. the misses are fine. the hits are finer. keep going Mr. Butterfingers.

Just. Keep. Going.

PROFUNDITY

By Faith Merz

Gravity falls to useless parallel oh, of what so many have tried to describe! On a bed of limbs, soft skin to caress, of muscles straining with unadulterated devotion.

Falling, endlessly falling, locked in a gaze that sends shivers down my spine. Press rose petals to my ear, simmer under each new crashing wave.

Going deeper, deeper, deeper still. Gravity must pay its penance, to be crushed by an equal force.

Somewhere in the depths, a part of myself rises and arches, faster and faster. My veins are glowing, legs shake as a slow boil turns into euphoria.

Find yourself, and make home in the deepest parts of me, wrap yourself around everything you can find there. Breathless antiquity, we fall as gravity and devotion coalesce.

SWEAT

By Carrie Casio

Sweet. Sweater.

SWEET.

SWEAT.

Sweet sweat through your sweater. It’s too hot for this.

It’s too hot. Take off your sweater. There. Finally

Just sweat.

DO YOU EVER

D.K. Weeks

Kraken Kreative Studio

Do you ever think of me, when you close your eyes?

Do you ever think of me, when you wish upon a star?

Do you think of me, when you dream?

Your dirty deeds replay, when I close mine.

Do you ever think of me, when you eff someone else?

Your “it happens to everyone” excuses replay, when I close mine.

Do I think of you, when I eff someone else?

Your dirty deeds no longer repeat, when I close my eyes. I am no longer faking “Oh! Oh! Oh!” moans. My eyes now close in ecstasy more times than blink, each and every orgasm he gives me.

EXPLODING CHEMISTRY

D.K. Weeks

Kraken Kreative Studio

Banged hard on the mad scientist’s door addicted to his formulas.

Casted spells through his sinner eyes dimpled my inner thighs.

Catalyzed by his curled toes my cherry bomb nails scratched down his white lab coat.

Moaned out elements one-by-one resulted in multiple alkali explosions.

Increased friction slides created bunsen burner heat.

Rapid expansion of large volume; extreme vigorous release of energy.

Sonic boom, exploding chemistry!

SWEET SWEET POETRY

D.K. Weeks

Kraken Kreative Studio

Your touch, sweet sweet poetry, dragging of fingers upon skin curls my toes.

Your touchless, sweet sweet poetry, whispering of naughty words weakens my knees.

Your wake-me-from-sleep, sweet sweet poetry, moaning of ecstasy rises my moon.

Your dominance, sweet sweet poetry, tightening of silk sheets dimples my inner thighs.

Your permission, sweet sweet poetry, granting of my honey pot to come for you.

Sir, may I please taste my sweet sweet poetry from your honey dusted lips?

EVERYTHING IS FINE.

WHAT DOESN’T KILL YOU, GIVES YOU TRAUMA

BY VERUCA SALTY

CW: trauma, spiritual bypassing, toxic positivity

Ok, unpopular opinion, but can we stop glamorizing our traumas and hardships and acting like we’re grateful for how strong they made us? Sure, we powered through them but that doesn’t mean our lives would not have been better if we hadn’t gone through the trauma. Imagine how strong we’d be if we were treated well and nurtured and cared for and NOT abused?!? I’m tired of seeing quotes like “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” and “calm seas bring peace but storms show your power.” I could have been plenty powerful without all of this emotional baggage. This whole mindset is just another cog in the spiritual bypass wheel. Spiritual bypassing is defined as the “tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks.” The term was coined by Buddhist teacher and psychotherapist,

John Welwood in the 80’s. Trying to use gratitude to ignore negative feelings and circumstances will not work in the long run. Why are we so ashamed to admit that we occasionally experience something hard!? Something that completely breaks us? It’s part of the human experience; another emotion in the human spectrum of feelings. We are not superhuman for avoiding the bad. We are actually so much more powerful when we own the hard, sit with the hard and fully work through it. We can’t ignore all the negativity and pretend like it somehow makes us ironclad. I’m so done with that BS.

You know what takes immense strength? Admitting you’re wrong, owning your hard and bad feelings, accepting that not everything happens for a reason and sometimes life is just unfair and relentless. Being honest! With spiritual bypassing and passing off our hardships as character building, we never truly let healing in. Without healing we can’t grow into our actual power and full potential. You cannot be a whole being if you’re ignoring parts of the human experience. Spiri-

tual bypassing and toxic positivity are just new age ways to become a shell of your former self. Toxic positivity is defined as “dismissing negative emotions and responding to distress with false reassurances rather than empathy.” It often comes from a place of good intention but is ultimately the result of simply feeling uncomfortable with negative emotions. It’s a “feelings” buffer. It’s no different than drinking your pain away or fucking your way to self-confidence or any other addictive behavior that covers up the bad feeling with a false (and temporary) sense of good feelings. The dopamine is real but it always leaves you wanting for more.

Now, I’m all for a nice gratitude practice and I find value in those kinds of practices. But you can’t “positive affirmation” your way out of true anxiety, depression or trauma. Most people are going to need a lot more than a happy quote each morning to shift those deeply ingrained neural pathways. In a lot of ways, spiritual bypassing and toxic positivity are like hustle culture for our feelings. We get trapped in these societal norms that say we have

to behave a certain way and present ourselves in a certain way in public spaces. We need to keep our feelings to ourselves because they’re messy and unruly. But the truth is, they’re supposed to be messy and unruly, that’s the nature of the human experience. It doesn’t all fit into nice little boxes that we can file away on our logical shelf. Feelings are not meant to be stifled or controlled or ignored. They are meant to be felt. But we don’t have time to feel sad or we can’t afford to express our feelings and risk causing a scene. We hustle our own damn emotions to keep up productivity. And it’s not ok.

Accepting all of the varying emotions (hard and good) allows you to fully process the trauma and HEAL. Let’s stop running away from our problems and meet them head on. Look at that storm and dive in. Don’t tell the storm, “no thanks, I’m good, I’ll just pretend like this made me stronger.” Weep for yourself. Mourn the losses that your storms have created in your life. Feel those feelings. You can do it. You were made for this. C

Illustration by Ron Evans

by ron evans

This January saw the opening of a conversation-starting art show at Confluence Gallery in Twisp. “Filthy Little Pictures” — a title we will talk more about in a bit — is a group art show featuring works of erotica, the nude form and sexual expression.

“The contributing artists were asked to shine their creative lights on the shadows cast by shame and to celebrate the human form and all its variations of physical expression. Artists were given almost total latitude within the confines of the show’s theme — as it should be, with a show celebrating freedom of expression.” says curator Penelope Varn.

I reached out to Varn to chat about this exhibit (which will run through March 5th) and to see how the locals reacted to such a prominent public display of Filthy Little Pictures.

Tell us a little about your background in the arts, and your role at Confluence Gallery.

I have been on the board of Confluence Gallery for several years and in the past couple of years, I’ve been on the gallery’s

show committee, which concepts and curates all the shows (to be clear, each curator on the committee concepts his/her shows and pitches them to the committee, which votes on the ideas once a year at its annual meeting, in which we plan all the shows for the coming year).

Before that, I was on the board of Coyote Central, a Central District arts organization in Seattle. My professional background is print journalism. I was an energy reporter for maybe a decade; I have a masters from University of Texas (at Austin) journalism school. In undergrad, I studied art history and languages with the goal of becoming an art dealer. I also have been an oil painter, but I don’t throw those pearls before swine.

“I insisted on titling the show Filthy Little Pictures as a way of appropriating the phrase that someone like my mother would employ in her description of the show.”

erotic art show. Maybe a decade ago, the gallery had an erotic art show, called XXXY, I think. It caused quite a stir in the community, which can tend toward the provincial. I think the (non-profit) gallery only lost one donor over it, in spite of a 4-foot-long blue penis sticking out of the wall. Anyway, I had pitched an erotic art show last year, with the title “Stains on the Bed,” but nobody would go for it — probably because the title scared some of the more cautious committee members. Then this year, I pitched Filthy Little Pictures, and the show committee decided it was time for Twisp to have another erotic art show.

about individuality and personal freedom, sort of like Nick Cage’s jacket in Wild at Heart.

How many artists are featured in Filthy Little Pictures - are they all local? About 22 artists, half local, the other half regional, except for Benjamine Lester, who hails from Dallas, Texas.

Even when presented as art in a gallery exhibition - nudity and sexuality always seem to be somewhat controversial. What has the response from the community been like for this exhibit? Has there been any hesitation or resistance against presenting it?

Tell us how and when the concept for Filthy Little Pictures arose?

I had been pushing the show committee for two or three years to have another

It’s really a rather tame show — in fact, I was hoping for less tame than what resulted. But the way I run my shows is that I give artists my theme, and let them use my theme as the rails for their artistic vision — then just let them run with it. I’m not a dictator about it. It’s art, and art is

Initially, the Confluence board of directors and Executive Director, Kaileah Akker expressed worry about community reaction to the show, but we have had almost no negative reaction. This time around, the community embraced an erotic art show — so it appears Twisp has come around in terms of accepting freedom of artistic expression.

I’m sure there are many things you’d love to see come from this exhibit, but if you had to choose one thing - because some annoying magazine publisher asks you to - what would that be?

~ Curator Penelope Varn

I would love for this show to broaden people’s horizons in terms of embracing freedom of visual expression and for artists in particular to experience community acceptance of erotic works. I think we could regress into a Neo-Puritanism — given the political climate — if we aren’t, as a society, careful. I hope in some small measure, this show eases us toward a more inclusive and less censorious future.

The phrase Filthy Little Pictures certainly gets my attention. It also looks great on a poster. Talk a little about the title of this exhibit.

A lot of my show ideas spring from my ideas for titles (like The Color of Words, a previous show that featured visual interpretations of literary works). This time around, though, I heard the voice of my mother, a rather prim Southern Belle (now a dead one), who would have said of, say, Benjamine Lester’s piece, titled “Catch,” “Now that is just plain filthy.” As a kid, I took great humor in that word. So when I was concepting the show, with a tongue-incheek attitude, I insisted on titling the show “Filthy Little Pictures” as a way of appropriating the phrase that someone like my mother would employ in her description of the show.

Nude Resting by MaryLouMcCollum

Bar Stool by Benjamine Lester

A FEW ARTIST COMMENTS

I was inspired by Penelope’s vision of bringing to light the perceived “shame” that has been put upon us by society over the years, decades, centuries. Humans have bodies. Bodies have biological imperatives to perpetuate the species (pretty much true for every living thing). And we have certain tools and desires to get this accomplished. Someone decided along the way that we should be ashamed of this body and its directive to procreate (or at least participate in the various rituals, even if having a baby is not the main objective). I loved creating pieces that might help dispel the taboo of being ashamed of what we are and how we do it with the “tools” we have. In my little peep shows, I wanted to instill a bit of levity on what some consider a heavily loaded subject. The vagina as a miraculous organ, the penis and its pliable nature, and Bondage as a means to an end. Sex should be fun! And whatever way a person needs to get off (between consenting adults and within legal limits) is fine with me.

~ Joanne Marracci

From the very beginning of my artistic journey, I have always been drawn to the nude form. I, and many other artists with a similar calling, experience backlash and even hostility when displaying our artwork in public and even social media. That is what I love about this show! “Filthy Little Pictures” - perfect satire describing what our work is so often referred to. People come to this show primed to expect the taboo, but what they find is an open mind to experience the beauty these talented artists bring through their calling. Because, we will not paint just trees. We will use bare chests, genitals and buttock to explain our experiences being human; and all the pain, joy, sorrow, sexuality and vulnerability our talents will allow.

~ Benjamine Lester

I have worked with Penelope in a number of shows and had the pleasure of doing commissioned work for her also. I enjoy the confrontational aspects of erotic art. Nothing seems to scare people more than their naked bodies, yet human sexuality is one of the foremost aspects of our existence. It is reflected in our art, media, music, culture, and everyday connections with our fellow humans. To be included in a show that addressed this subject was a true pleasure. That said I really dig porno.

~Vern White (Vblast)

I think you can go onto my original FB post announcing the show — when I posted the show flyer — and you can see two people beating up the show title. They could not grasp that the title was born of humor mixed with appropriation.

Have there been any surprises in the reactions or conversations you have witnessed from guests as they make their way through the pieces on display?

Unfortunately, I don’t have any good anecdotes for this question. All the feedback I’ve personally received from the show has been positive. Maybe that is because we put a “Viewer Discretion Advised” sign on the front of the gallery to avoid anyone being caught unaware by a genital or two — which means that only people WANTING to see genitals would be in the gallery.

Tell us about the work of curating art for exhibitions. Do you have a set process for finding new art and creators that excite you? Or is it a bit more varied?

I don’t have a set process. I’m sort of “abstract random” in the way I do things. This show was open call because I wanted any artist who desired to create work for this show to be able to; the show was about freedom of expression; I wanted to provide a platform for anyone who wanted to engage in that freedom. Usually, however, my shows are invitation only and I have a vision for the way I want the show to look, so I select artists whose styles work with that vision. I also try to find artists whose work is new to the community, so I tend to look

outside of the local pool for new talent.

Do you encourage artists to reach out about exhibiting their work at Confluence Gallery outside of open calls? And is there any advice you could offer to artists who are maybe intimidated about approaching galleries? I always encourage artists to register with the gallery’s Call to Artists list, so that they can see upcoming opportunities to exhibit their work. If I have a new artist approach me with her work, I will also send it around to Kaileah and Joanne Marracci, the show committee boss. And if a new artist’s work gets on my radar, I will try to work it into the shows I curate, whenever the work is suitable. In fact, one new artist who approached me a few years ago, Victoria Weber — her work was so stunning that I concepted “Cascadia” just to put her on the cover of a show. And that show turned out to be one of the gallery’s biggest selling shows ever.

Advice for artists about approaching galleries — the worst that can happen is that a gallery boss or curator says “No.” The most successful artists and writers have heard “No” probably more than any other type of professional. So you have to relax, say to yourself “Who the fuck cares if they tell me ‘no’?” then send in your work for shows in exactly the way the gallery asks you to. Make sure your work fits the show theme and make sure you read all the submission guidelines.

Is there typically a selection process for submissions to these group exhibits? Tell us about that process.

For invitation-only shows, the curator contacts each of the artists she wants in her show and asks them. Then she sends the artists who say yes a set of submission guidelines, a gallery contract for artists, a show timeline and stuff like that. For shows that are “Open Call,” artists register on the Confluence Gallery web site to receive “Calls to Artists” for upcoming shows. Then when they get a call that fits their style, they just follow the directions to submit their work. Then, the curator will individually tell them if their work will be accepted for the show.

What’s coming up next for Confluence Gallery when Filthy Little Pictures wraps up?

“Biophilia: A Love Story,” which focuses on the connections between all living beings, and the fading, but innately human instinct to connect with nature. The show will open on April 30th and run through June 12th, 2022.

Do you have a dream project/exhibit you’d like to see come to fruition maybe a bit further down the road?

Actually I have an upcoming show that is my dream show, called “The Opposite of Entropy,” in late fall of 2022. It will be an abstract show, featuring Don DeLeva, David Hytone, Whiting Tennis, Vern White, Brian Scholdt, and other abstract artists. Also my dream as a collector — I’m dying to get my hands on some of this work that will be featured, and hang it in my own house.

confluencegallery.org

Reflection 1 by Sarena Johnson

Safe Word by Joanne Marracci

Quantum Entanglement by Nichole DeMent

Gustav Wunderwald’s Paintings of Weimar Berlin

NOTE: This article was written in Europe so different spellings and grammar rules apply. Probably.

-The Comet

By Mark Hobbs

Berlin in June 1945 was not at all a pleasant place to be. As the dust settled on what was left of the city, blown to smithereens and now occupied by Russian and Allied forces, the landscape painter Gustav Wunderwald died from water poisoning in a hospital in the western suburb of Charlottenburg. He was sixty-three years old.

In the seventy years or so that have passed since his death, the city that Wunderwald painted over and again during the years of the Weimar Republic has been divided, rebuilt, reunified, and revived. And yet, despite the waves of history that have beat relentlessly, remorselessly against Berlin, were he alive today, Wunderwald would still recognise many aspects of the city that he painted during the late twenties. And now, with the lapsing of copyright on his paintings in many parts of the world, digital copies of these paintings are becoming more widely available, making

it easier to view his work, and to better appreciate an artist who deserves wider recognition.

Born in Kalk, an industrial suburb on the outskirts of Cologne, Wunderwald experienced first-hand the modern, industrialised city from a young age. Showing early signs of a proficiency in painting, he undertook a two-year apprenticeship under the guidance of the painter Wilhelm Kuhn. Wunderwald quickly found his niche in theatrical and stage set design, taking a job as a scenery painter in Gotha in 1899. For the next thirteen years, his skills led him through a succession of jobs in a variety of cities. After a year in Gotha, he spent four years in Berlin (1900–1904) working at the studio of Georg Hartig and Company, where he specialised in theatrical set painting. From Berlin, Wunderwald moved to Stockholm, and then onwards to Düsseldorf, Innsbruck, and Freiberg over the course of the next eight years, before moving back to Berlin in 1912 to work as a stage designer at the German Opera House.

In 1915, Wunderwald was conscripted into the German army. Training in Königsberg was followed by despatch to Macedonia, as part of a replacement battalion for the German Army’s 43rd Infantry. Wun-

derwald was fortunate in that the Macedonian Front was a stable one, which saw little of the bloodshed that characterised both the Western and Eastern Fronts. Wunderwald even had time to paint pictures of the Macedonian landscape and towns that he saw, giving him the opportunity to hone his distinctive palette of dark colours.

In the wake of Germany’s defeat in 1918 he returned to Berlin, where he sought to establish himself as an independent artist, using his Charlottenburg apartment as a studio. Some eight years later, in 1926, Wunderwald’s persistence paid off when he came to the attention of Berlin gallery owner Karl Nierendorf and the prominent art critic Paul Westheim. Later that year, seven of Wunderwald’s paintings appeared in an exhibition entitled Das Gesicht von Berlin (The Face of Berlin) at Nierendorf’s gallery. To coincide with the exhibition, Westheim wrote a lead article on Wunderwald in his own art journal Das Kunstblatt, reproducing several works by the artist.

For a few brief years, Wunderwald’s urban landscapes attracted attention in high places. Among those who brought his works were Gustav Böß, then mayor of Berlin, and the screenwriter Hans Kyser, writer of the script for F. W. Murnau’s

1926 filmic adaptation of Faust. Wunderwald continued to paint and exhibit until 1934, but without doubt his most prolific phase, and the period in which he produced his very best works, was between 1926 and 1929, when he repeatedly painted scenes from Berlin’s industrial areas. He worked as a film colourist for the German film conglomerate Ufa from 1934 until his death in 1945.

Wunderwald’s oeuvre consists chiefly of landscapes, many of which depict Berlin and its surroundings. The grey streets of the city’s working-class areas, to the north of the city centre, are just as often depicted as the cleaner, airier streets of the city’s affluent west end. Rural landscapes also figure, including views of Berlin’s lakes and the countryside around the Havel river. Despite the variety of scenes, it is for his depictions of Berlin’s working-class areas that Wunderwald is best known, largely thanks to Westheim’s article in Das Kunstblatt, in which he praised the artist’s “unromantic and objective [sachlich] approach” to the “bare and unprepossessingly rough world” of Berlin’s industrial neighbourhoods. Subsequent art historical writings have continued to associate Wunderwald with the so-called Neue Sachlichkeit (new

Fabrik von Loewe & Co. (Moabit), 1926

objectivity) style of painting that emerged during the Weimar Republic, in which urban landscapes — with their typology of tenements, smokestacks, gasometers, and railway lines — were a dominant genre.

Wunderwald’s paintings of Berlin’s working-class neighbourhoods have an enigmatic quality about them. They employ a sooty palette of warm browns and greys, and have a stillness and architectural solidity to them that can perhaps be accounted for by the artist’s prior experience as a painter of theatrical scenery. One could well imagine scenes such as Fabrik von Loewe & Co. or Brücke über die Ackerstraße as backdrops to theatrical adaptations of Weimar-era novels like Alfred Döblin’s Berliner Alexanderplatz, Hans Fallada’s Little Man What Now?, or Christopher Isherwood’s Goodbye to Berlin. Amidst the tenement blocks, factories, smokestacks, and advertising hoardings, Wunderwald found no shortage of subjects to paint. In a letter to a friend, written in the winter of 1926, he wrote: “Sometimes I stagger back as if drunk from my wandering through Berlin; there are so many impressions that I have no idea which way to go.” Wunderwald, describing his search for inspiring scenes to paint on the streets of the city, was not the first and by no means the last individual to find themselves overwhelmed by the sights and sounds of Berlin. His description of feeling drunk through sensory overload brings to mind fellow Berliner and sociologist Georg Simmel’s description of the “intensification of nervous stimulation” that the modern city-dweller encountered on the streets of the metropolis. Most urban inhabitants, argued Simmel, adopted a blasé attitude in order to protect them-

selves from the excess of sights, sounds, and movement encountered in the urban public sphere. By contrast, some individuals — like Wunderwald — consciously chose to immerse themselves in the tumult of the big city, wandering around its streets in a state of rapture, just as Baudelaire had done in Paris half a century earlier.

Wunderwald was not the only person wandering the streets of Berlin in search of inspiration during the late 1920s. Writers like Siegfried Kracauer, Franz Hessel, and Joseph Roth were also on the prowl, attracted to the city’s relentless pace of change, and in search of subjects worthy of writing about in the newspaper feuilletons. These flâneurs, like Wunderwald, wandered back and forth through the streets of Berlin’s urban landscape, obsessing over the ways in which the scenes that they encountered had endured and changed. In late 1932, the writer Siegfried Kracauer recounted his surprise and sadness upon finding out that a favourite café on the Kurfürstendamm had shut down. Kracauer’s first inclination that something is wrong comes when he tries to open the door, only to find it locked. Startled, he peers through the window and sees that the interior is empty. Surely, thinks Kracauer, it must have been cleared out overnight, as the premises had been lit up just the previous evening. “Or”, he asks, questioning his ability to adequately recollect the passage of time, “am I deluding myself?” Walter Benjamin also acutely felt the shock of change upon the streets of Berlin. He explored them in his text A Berlin Chronicle, which he claimed was not so much an autobiographical account of his childhood, than an account of the experience of place, “of a space, of moments and discontinui-

ties.”

Berlin was — and still is — a city of “moments and discontinuities”. In 1910, the architectural critic Karl Scheffler wrote of Berlin as “always becoming, never being”. Scheffler’s phrase, oft-quoted thanks to its enduring relevance, referred to the city’s rapid growth throughout the latter part of the nineteenth and early twentieth century. When the city became the capital of a unified Germany in 1871, it was already well on the way to becoming one of the new nation’s most important industrial centres, thanks to its burgeoning railway construction industry. From 1890 onwards the city’s rapid growth was further bolstered by a new electrical engineering industry, spearheaded by Emil Rathenau and his Allgemeine Elektricitäts Gesellschaft (AEG). Between 1871 and 1910 Berlin’s population jumped from 824,000 to over two million inhabitants. A large proportion of the new inhabitants were immigrants from the surrounding provinces, who moved to Berlin in search of work in industrial districts such as Wedding, Moabit, and Prenzlauer Berg, districts characterised by long streets of densely populated tenements and factories.

The city that Scheffler wrote of was that very same encountered by Wunderwald during his first stay in Berlin between 1900 and 1904, and this sense of constant flux is key to developing a better understanding of Wunderwald’s portraits of the city. Thanks to his frequent tendency to specify the places he painted in the titles he gave to his works, and with the aid of the city’s digitised address books, it is possible to look at the paintings he produced of the city in the twenties and figure out what the same scenes looked like years earlier,

when he first saw them (if he did at all). What’s clear from such an exercise is that in many cases significant changes had taken place in the scenes that he painted.

This is best illustrated in a 1927 painting by Wunderwald of Travemünder Straße, in the north Berlin neighbourhood of Gesundbrunnen. Travemünder Straße was a relatively new street, having been constructed in 1906; that is, after Wunderwald had departed Berlin for the first time. In order to lay out the new street, Berlin’s municipal authorities partially demolished one of the city’s most ostentatiously decorated tenements, built in the 1890s and known as the Luisenhaus, the rear of which can be seen at the right of the painting.

In spite of the wholesale destruction of the city during the Second World War, it is still possible to visit some of the streets that Wunderwald painted in the 1920s, and recognise the scenes he depicted. Any tour would have to include a trip to the northern district of Wedding, to see the monumental iron railway bridge that weighs heavily over Ackerstraße, the busy street intersection of Müllerstraße and Seestraße, and factory buildings and tenements on Lindowerstraße. Given how much has survived and how much has changed — moments and discontinuities — I like to think that Wunderwald would be happy to wander about present-day Berlin, a city that remains in a perpetual state of flux, just as it was in his own day.

Originally published in The Public Domain Review at publicdoaminreview.org. If you wish to reuse it please see: publicdomainreview.org/legal/ c

Unterführung in Spandau, 1927 Brücke über die Ackerstraße, 1927

PEE FREELY: THE BIRTH OF SHEFLY APPAREL

By Ron Evans

Ifirst learned of Charlotte Massey back around 2016 when I saw her incredible coffee paintings on exhibit at Lemolo in Wenatchee. Since then she’s remained on my radar via her social media posts and over the years I noticed a growing passion in hiking, rock-climbing and all around living the outdoorsy adventure life. “I have been on expeditions to Stok Kangri and Kang Yatse II in Ladakh, India, and up to 22,000 ft. on Aconcagua in Argentina.” Massey says.

More recently I noticed some rather eyecatching promotionals from her feed about a company that has designed the perfect “pee freely” pants. “I am a Co-Founder of SheFly Apparel, a patented line of women’s outdoor pants with flaps and zippers that allow women to relieve themselves without exposing skin to the elements or other people.” The busy entrepreneur says.

Now, as someone (be-penised) that’s been peeing freely in the woods (and pretty much anywhere else my whole life, I had to take a brief pause and acknowledge my pee privilege. I then reached out to Massey to learn more about this new product and its conception.

Tell us about the birth of SheFly Apparel and at what point did you get on board?

The idea for SheFly came from a summer my co-founder Georgia Grace Edwards spent working as a glacier guide in Alaska. She was one of only a few female guides and got frustrated with having to bare skin to the elements and other people while her male co-workers could do their business without exposing anything.

She shared that idea with my other cofounder, Bianca Gonzalez, who encouraged her to join a one month entrepreneurship class at Middlebury College (where

we all went to school together). I joined the team before the end of that class and have been working on building SheFly ever since.

Where is the company based and how many people are part of it?

We are headquartered in Gunnison, Colorado. We currently have a team of 3 full time people (including myself and Georgia Grace), one person part time, one contractor, and two interns. I split my time between Gunnison and Seattle.

Talk a little about how things went from seeing a need to having a concept to sliding on a real life pair of SheFly pants? Was there funding in place to begin with or was that an ongoing process?

We started by ripping the crotches out of existing hiking pants and sewing in zip-

pers ourselves. Zippers are pretty tricky to sew, and we were soon hiring seamstresses around Vermont to help us. We funded the early stages with our own funds and prize money from pitch competitions, and then got a $20,000 investment from the Dorm Room Fund (backed by First Round Capital) to finish prototyping and file our patent applications. Then we worked with a technical designer to put together a “tech pack,” which is the booklet of instructions we needed to send to a factory in order to get the pants produced. We did a crowdfunding campaign on IFundWomen which tripled our goal and raised $54,000, and used that money to begin production at a fair trade and zero waste manufacturing facility in India.

Were there many actual prototypes before settling on a design(s) or was most of that hashed out in the early design phase?

We made hundreds of prototypes with every design we could think of. We tested

snaps, velcro, buttons, and different sizes and placements of zippers. Most of these designs were tested by sewing different fasteners into existing pants.

Is the product designed strictly for “freeing the peeing” or can you essentially answer all of nature’s calls while wearing them?

You can answer all of nature’s calls, including #2 and changing menstrual products!

The marketing for the company is charmingly humor-centric yet it also does the job at getting across that this idea is not just about convenience. Tell us about your approach to balancing out that brand messaging and awareness?

We know that bodily functions, and especially women’s bodily functions, are highly taboo. We use humor to make our solution accessible to more people. Owning the awkwardness by starting out with a joke does a great job of making people feel comfortable talking about subjects that we think don’t get enough attention.

People can be weird about certain things that we all do (in this case NEED

to do). Have you had any push back or resistance from the public as you have gotten the word out about the concept, philosophy and spirit of SheFly?

We have had small amounts of push back, mostly from men who don’t understand the problem or from women who are concerned that the zipper might not be comfortable and discreet — they’re always convinced once they try on a pair! But most people have been extremely excited about SheFly. We are addressing a clear need in the market and anyone who’s been outside with a woman understands that.

It’s one thing to see a concept, another to put it into practice of course. How did SheFly go about testing the pants out in the real world? Were there focus groups?

We had dozens of people test the pants all over the world, in all sorts of environments. I personally tested the pants on treks in Ladakh, India, while hiking the Annapurna Circuit in Nepal, climbing Mount Baker, and on an all-women expedition to climb Aconcagua, the tallest mountain in South America.

Who designed the brilliant SheFly logo? I came up with the concept for the logo

and then we had a friend help us vectorize it. The concept behind the logo is to show how our zipper design “unzips” access to the outdoors and welcomes more people to feel comfortable and confident outside. There’s also visual symmetry to anatomy that we like to play with — we like being a bit bold and cheeky!

What products are currently available from SheFly and where can people find them?

We are currently pre-selling our Go There hiking pants in three colorways on our website. The pants will ship in late spring — sheflyapparel.com

We are launching leggings this fall and shorts in spring 2023. Stay tuned for additional products and big news coming soon!

Is there a dream scenario concerning some type of collaboration or distribution deal for SheFly products you are chasing after?

We are launching in Moosejaw Mountaineering stores this spring and are interested in working with existing brands to license our zipper in the future.

Oh, one more thing. Are you still making coffee paintings? If so, is there any place online people can see/purchase those?

Yes, my etsy store is etsy.com/shop/UpTurnedPages (I don’t have a lot listed at the moment but I’m adding more soon).

SheFly: sheflyapparel.com @sheflyapparel

Charlotte Massey: peakcharlotte.com charredlatte.com @peak_charlotte_

Charlotte Massey and Georgia Grace Edwards

LEHMAN NOVIELLO:

PORTLAND ARTIST COMES TO COLLAPSE GALLERY

This February, Collapse Gallery in Wenatchee will be premiering a collection of works by Portland artist Lehman Noviello. Developed over the last seven years this body of work is presented in three parts:

Portraits of lords in the new realm.

The creatures that inhabit this space.

Scenes of magic translated from digital happenings to the un-inhibited eyes of the lords.

The show opens Friday, February 4, with a reception from 4-9pm and will be on display throughout the rest of the month.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 5, AT 7:30 PM – 10 PM The Chase Craig Band at The Seasons in Yakima

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 10, 2022 AT 7 PM – 9 PM Live Music with Seth at Colchuck’s in Leavenworth

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2022 AT 6:30 PM

Mats & Mimosas: Sip N Paint Doormat Party! $50 at Columbia Valley Brewing

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2022 AT 6:30 PM

“Mermaid in a Martini” Galentine’s Day Special 134 N Mission St, Wenatchee

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 18, 2022 AT 6 PM – 9 PM

O&W LIVE! Older & Wiser @ Badger Mountain Brewing

SATURDAY, MARCH 12, 2022 AT 9:55 AM

Ariadne auf Naxos - The Met: Live in HD at ICCA in Leavenworth

SUNDAY, MARCH 13, 2022 AT 7 PM

Da “Are You MADD Yet” Tour at Old Skool’s in Ellensburg

Wanna plug your kickass event? Send it our way at thecometmagazine@gmail.com

ARTBEAT

“Not everything has a name. Some things lead us into a realm beyond words…By means of art we are sometimes sent - dimly, briefly - revelations unattainable by reason.”

- Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Hello you amazing animals, you throbbing masses of cellular harmony! February is here with cautious optimism, dirty snow, and flirtatious sunbeams. Hopefully those dreams on the horizon are coming into focus, reminding you to keep putting one foot in front of the other even if it’s punctuated with stops and starts. The six-person, volunteer committee who make up the new Arts Alliance have been working on the nuts & bolts of a non-profit organization. Progress made over the last 7 months isn’t too flashy but it has cleared a path and made a plan for the next phase of growth.

The Arts Alliance, seeking to represent and support the creative network across NCW, is recruiting board members, funding, and interested participants. This Art Beat doubles as both a newsletter for Alliance activities and a broad list of happenings within reach for anyone residing in central WA. If you have a related event, opportunity, resource, call to action, or are seeking connections with other art - curious humans, please contact us: Wenatchee.arts.alliance@gmail.com

2/26 - WVMCC - ACTOR’S WORKSHOP with Matthew Pippin, 5-7pm

2/26 - TWO RIVERS - DEADLINE for March/April exhibit, 11-3pm

2/27 - GALLERY ONE - DEADLINE for juried show, ‘Undomesticated’

FIRST FRIDAY

FEBRUARY 4

- MAC GALLERY - (WVCC) - Scott Bailey: ‘Accretions’, opening reception, 5-7pm

- ROBERT GRAVES GALLERY - (WVCC) - 45th Annual Member’s Exhibit, 5-7pm

- GALLERY ONE (ELLENSBURG): ‘Found Footage’ Will Bow & Samantha Birks Fisher. Members’ Show continued, 5-7pm

- WVMCC - NCW JURIED EXHIBIT & Sale, 5-7pm

- COLLAPSE - Lehman Noviello ‘Lords’, 12-9pm

- LEMOLO CAFE - Lorrie Shattuck, open until 8pm

- MELA COFFEE CO. - Jamaica Zoglman, open late-ish/ 8-ish

- TWO RIVERS - Marilyn Weaver, Jeff Justice, and music by Amy Albright, 5-8pm

- FIREHOUSE PETS - Kitty Room: Live, interactive feline fun!! Open until 7pm

2/9 - COLLAPSE - LIFE DRAWING SESSION, 5:30-7:30pm

2/19 - WVMCC - ACTOR’S WORKSHOP with Matthew Pippin, 5-7pm

2/22 - ARTSWA AND CLARK COLLEGE - Call for Art/RFQ – seeking artist for project at Clark College’s Boschma Farms Campus, see arts.wa.gov

3/5 - WVMCC - ACTOR’S WORKSHOP with Matthew Pippin, 5-7pm

3/12 - WVMCC - ACTOR’S WORKSHOP with Matthew Pippin, 5-7pm

OPPORTUNITIES & DEADLINES UPCOMING EVENTS

3/15 - SHRUB-STEPPE POETRY JOURNALDeadline for submissions, contact Susan Blair sfblair61@gmail.com

4/1 - WRITE ON THE RIVER - DEADLINE for 16th Annual Writer’s Competition

MID MONTH EVENTS

2/5 - PUNCH GALLERY (Thorp) - Justin Gibbens: Exhibit and residency, 12-4pm

2/15 - NCRL - Zoom Poetry Night, 7-8:30pm

2/16 - NCRL - NCW Writer’s Group, 4-6pm

2/23 - COLLAPSE - Life Drawing Session, 5:307:30pm

2/25 - TWO RIVERS - DEADLINE for March/April exhibit, 11-3pm

- NCRL - MANY STORIES, ONE COMMUNITY: Sharing Our Regional History, 7-8:30pm

2/19 - GALLERY ONE - Meet the Artist: Will Bow & Samantha Birks Fisher, 11:00am

2/3

- WVMCC: Environmental Film Series ‘2040’, 7-9pm

2/23 - SHRUB STEPPE POETRY PODIUM - open to all at Collapse Gallery, 4:30pm start

Will Bow & Samantha Birks Fisher at Gallery One

ARTS-CENTERED RESOURCES, OPPORTUNITIES AND EVENTS IN NCW

BY LINDSAY BRIEDENTHAL

2/29 - March 6 - Larson Gallery at Yakima Community College - Jacob Lawrence: Three Series of Prints (Genesis - Toussaint L’Ouverture - Hiroshima), hours: Tues-Friday 10am-5pm, Sat. 12-5pm

LINKS & RESOURCES

*Arts WA - https://www.arts.wa.gov/

*MAC - at Wenatchee Valley Community College https://ad-wb-wvc01.wvc.edu/academics/art/macgallery.html

*North Central Regional Libraryhttps://www.ncwlibraries.org/online-resources/#

*Write on the Riverhttps://www.writeontheriver.org/

*Collapse - https://www.collapsegallery.com/

*Gallery One - https://www.gallery-one.org/

*WVMCC - Wenatchee Valley Museum and Cultural Center

https://www.wenatcheevalleymuseum.org/events/

*Shrub Steppe Poetryhttps://shrubsteppepoetry.org/

*Icicle Center For the Artshttps://icicle.org/find-events/

*Confluence Galleryhttps://www.confluencegallery.org/

*Methow Arts - http://www.methowarts.org/

*Cafe Mela - https://melacoffee.com/

*Mighty Tieton Warehousehttps://www.tietonarts.org/events

*PAC- Numerica Performing Arts Center https://numericapac.org/about/news/

*Two Rivers Art Galleryhttps://2riversgallery.org/

*Wenatchee Valley Symphony Orchestrahttps://wenatcheesymphony.org/

*Punch Projects and Galleryhttps://punchprojects.org/

*Call for Entry (CaFE)https://artist.callforentry.org/calendar.phtml

Scott Bailey: Accretions at MAC Gallery

THE HISTORY LESSON YOU DIDN’T KNOW YOU NEEDED

By Skylar Hansford

The clit. The Clitoris. The “magic bean.” The “little man in the boat.”

It has hundreds of nicknames and yet remains an enigma for so many. And its mystery for people is found in widely varying forms from not knowing what its full anatomical structure looks like to flat out not knowing where it is… Or even what it is. And for being such a common piece of human anatomy (roughly half the population have one) you would think we wouldn’t still be struggling with this. Now that being said, the lack of knowledge is understandable when you look at the history of studies surrounding the clitoris and just how long it took us to make any sort of headway in understanding and appreciating its full function. And that’s where I come in: welcome to the history lesson you didn’t know you needed.

Now before we jump straight into the history, let’s have a brief refresher on the full anatomical structure of the clitoris. There are plenty of people who are familiar with the clitoris as they see it, literally. Meaning their knowledge about the anatomical structure begins and ends with what they can see on the outside of the body. But did you know that that is only 10% of the full anatomical structure? 90% of the clitoris is actually hidden below the pubic bone, extending up to 4 inches down underneath said bone (which also means that while it is thought of as being a relatively small piece of anatomy, it actually rivals the size of most flaccid penises). Why is this information important? Let’s look at one of the most common adult toys, especially among those with a clitoris: vibrators. If you are using high frequency vibration (think more buzzy, like an electric toothbrush) you are only going to be able to stimulate that top 10%. Using something with a low frequency vibration (think of more of a rumble, like a subwoofer) you are now able to stimulate the full clitoral anatomy, including the 90% that goes below the pubic bone — which leads to more fulfilling, deeper, stronger orgasms. Now back to The History Lesson! Specifically, back to ancient Greece.

It’s fairly common knowledge that

most of our understanding about human anatomy began with the observation and dissection of cadavers. The first person to observe cadavers with a vulva and notice a unique anatomical structure within that (The Clit) was a man named Hippocrates. He referred to this as the “Columella,” which literally means “little column.”

Next came Greek physician Galen, who is credited to this day for the influence he had on western medicine. But unfortunately, he focused more of his studies on the actual vagina, stating that the clitoris was “largely underdeveloped and useless.”

This brings us to 16th century Italy where we meet anatomist, Andreas Vesalius. Vesalius argued that the clitoris didn’t even exist because he was unable to find it on cadavers... [Pause for all the jokes]. However, Vesalius’s assistant, Realdo Colombo, succeeded.

History credits Colombo as being the first person to identify the actual function of the clitoris. He called it “amor Veneris” which means ‘The love of Venus’describing it specifically as an “organ of pleasure.”

It wasn’t even until the 1840’s That we had the first drawing of the full anatomical structure of the clitoris, done by those observing cadavers.

Which lands us in 1910, with one of my least favorite people in history: Sigmund fucking Freud. And while Freud is considered the father of psychoanalysis –did you know that he started as a medical doctor? A medical doctor with full understanding of the human anatomy, knowing and understanding where and what the clitoris was. But he called it “infantile.” Even going so far as to say that in order to be considered a sexually mature adult you had to learn how to “transfer“ your orgasms from the clitoral area to the vaginal canal. And thus, the idea that people with a vagina should be able to reach climax through vaginal penetration alone, was born.

Important sidenote about clitoral anatomy for this point: We know that the full anatomical structure of the clitoris extends far below the pubic bone – which means that when you stimulate the “G spot“ you are still stimulating the clitoris.

But in this case you are stimulating it from the backside of the structure, through the walls of the vagina. This is why only Around 25% of people with a vagina are able to orgasm through penetration alone. Because depending on the thickness of your vaginal walls, as well as your general anatomy, penetration alone may not be enough to stimulate that area. Making the idea that you could “transfer” your orgasms from the clitoral area to the vaginal canal all the more absurd. So if you find that penetration alone is not enough, or is often not enough of a stimulant to reach orgasm, you are not alone. 75% of people require outer stimulation. Allowing you to stimulate the clitoris more directly than you can by going through the vaginal canal via “the G spot.”

Freud’s asinine approach to clitoral Anatomy and Stimulation set studies around it back for YEARS.

It was not until the 1990’s That Australia’s first female urologist, professor Helen O’Connell, gave us the first functioning MRI of the clitoris — done on live people on the receiving end of clitoral stimulation. Because of her work, Professor O’Connell is the reason we now know what we do about the clitoris and its function.

There are two different things professor O’Connell credits as being the inspiration for her ground-breaking work. One of them took place in 1985, when she read a book called Last’s Anatomy.Last’s Anatomy said that the vagina was considered a failure in its development compared to its penis counterpart.

Her other inspiration came from observing that, during surgery, surgeons had methods to avoid damaging nerves and/or blood vessels in the penis when operating on one. They did this so that, in the pursuit of a successful surgery, they did not end up sidelining that persons intimate life. Professor O’Connell noted that, at the time, no such studies existed around clitoral anatomy to aid surgeons. And so began professor O’Connell’s work.

Now professor O’Connell’s work did not start with the MRIs. It actually began by observing and dissecting 10 different cadavers, removing the pubic bone, so that she could get to and see the full cli-

toral anatomical structure. The first thing that she noticed was that it was much larger than previously thought (which brings us back to our brief anatomy lesson at the beginning of this article). Through doing this she was also able to disprove the widely held idea (thanks to that dick, Freud) that the area we refer to as “the G spot” was not a separate stimulating structure. That it was, in fact, still just the clitoris. Stimulating the G spot through the vaginal canal is actually just stimulating the backside of the clitoral structure, through the vaginal walls. That’s not to say that people do not derive pleasure from stimulating that area… It just means that it is still a form of clitoral stimulation and not its own separate structure.

Professor O’Connell also noted that the tissue of the clitoris was very soft, spongy, and extremely sensitive. How sensitive? She discovered, the clitoris has 8000 nerve endings — which is 2x to 3x more nerve endings than you find in the penis. She also found that while the tissue of the clitoris is soft and spongy, when stimulated, it can actually become erect (again, much like it’s penis counterpart).

All of these observations were later supported when Professor O’Connell began using MRIs on live, stimulated, people. She went on to publish a paper on her findings titled “The Anatomy Of the Clitoris” (which you can find on sites like PubMed). In the conclusion of her paper she stated that “ The typical textbook description of the clitoris lacked detail and included inaccuracies.” She went on to say that “it is impossible to convey the full clitoral anatomy in a single diagram, showing only one plane, as typically provided in textbooks, which reveal it has a flat structure.”

So when you think back to noteworthy scientists and doctors that have helped progress the understanding of human anatomy, do not forget professor Helen O’Connell. You may owe her more than you realize.

Skylar Hansford:

(sex and kink advice/education) from For The Love Of It in Wenatchee, WA. C

SO LONG AND THANKS FOR ALL THE FISH 2021...

BY LANCE REESE

One of the greatest casualties of Covid was how it brutalized the music world. What could have been a Renaissance quickly fell apart. Live shows were prohibited, and bands called it quits, either unable, unwilling, or afraid to practice, some finding they lacked the incentive to continue, missing money, or accolades, or adrenaline from performing.

Having a small(very) music venue we found ourselves facing decisions on what our responsibility was to our local musicians. Adamantly against live streams, the low quality cell phone footage and shit audio no one wanted to watch. In spite, we needed to find a way for music to continue — if we could connect a musician with just one fan, that’d be worth doing. Quality is the utmost importance — we bought cameras, production software, a camera crew (robotic sliders at first, then the real deal). 50+ performances later and now live music has returned. By summer 2021 live performances were back — I’ve probably attended more live shows in the last six months than in the last six years. While there were plenty of touring acts coming through, local bands (Central Washington) stole the show. Following are some of my favorite experiences, related chronologically as it turns out.

Technically 2020 we broke lockdown with the “12 live streams of Christmas.” While we aired them nightly, logistics dictated we film them in advance so we carved out a weekend and did them back to back. After 11 recordings Bad Habit showed up to finish the lineup. We’d been at it for 2 days, learning on the fly, between us green and out of shape bands it was hit and miss at first, but when these guys took the stage something magic happened. All their years of chemistry took over, seeping

off stage into the production crew. “What kind of music does the Bad Habit play??? Some call it Reggae, some call it Punk. But you know we be rockin’ that northwest Skunk.” And rock it they did. The three part harmonies, Jason J captured on film singing lead, scatting through the interludes. Dan’s playing guitar into exhaustion. Remmie “the swamp monster Jesus” punching his bass amp to get the crackle out. Eric showcasing his prowess, shredding the guitar, powering the sax and crooning and about his Ganja Girl. Try and get “Going Back To County” out of your head, I dare you. There are so many truths they reveal in the music, listen to the stories this performance is honesty on full display. Over the next year they played at least a dozen more shows (probably more — way to put the work in guys) but this recording, this show, is still something special.

So the shutdown hit March 2020 and we cancelled some 14 shows from the books. Gone. A year later Devil’s Gulch And the Missionaries finally made it down for their first Yakima appearance April 2021. The night before the show we put up new velour blackout stage curtains. Raw material, hundreds of yards of fabric had to be cut, sewed and hung. Took all damn night, didn’t get done till seven in the morning. No sleep, then a full days work. The band shows up for load-in and I’m sure were ultra-hospitable; they must wonder what they’ve got themselves into. But right before show time the whiskey breaks out (Pendleton of course,) and when the lights go down, the smoke turns on, away we go.

A Devil’s journey for the rest of the year from the Tieton River to Halloween in Cashmere, we end with a pre Thanksgiving album recording, 24 songs, 100 takes in 12 hours – no blood was spilt, no one was injured. Look for their first release “Demons in the Jury Box” late spring.

I don’t know if in-person restrictions had been lifted when they booked, but a week past their new album release audiences were suddenly allowed when Himiko Cloud came to town. It was the first recording we’d done with a full audience, the crowd limited to half normal capacity, but the reduced headcount filled quick, chomping at the bit for a live show. Coming into town the band blew a tire, and when I say blew a tire, the rear passenger tire exploded after rubbing on the mud flap on the journey from Wenatchee. The band shows up in a tow truck (thanks AAA), we’re way behind schedule but all hands on deck get the gear loaded in and sound check complete. Cameras set, and the show starts on time. To preserve sound for the recording, doors are closed. The audience locked in to ride out the intense trip of lights and sound. Maybe the most connected a band and audience can be, they merge into one, the band isolated through haze and lights, everyone else melded and swimming into the music. When the music ends the after show is a VIP experience. The attention the band gives the fans is second to none, and in return drunk concert goers rally all their knowledge and resources to change a flat tire, a fitting culmination to the evening. Oh, did I mention Himiko Cloud’s album Telomeres was just ranked the 6th best Northwest Album of 2021 by the Seattle Times?

Yakima’s Pastel Motel holds a special place for Bearded Monkey. Not only did they headline our first Beardfest celebration but they could be accused of being responsible for the venue we have today. Prior to the pandemic I almost threw (literally) a sound guy out of the booth for doing a shitty job mixing their last show before lockdown. Seriously, if by the third song you can’t keep the mic from constantly feeding back and I have to kick

you off the board don’t climb back into the crow’s nest and get in the middle of my shit, I’m already doing your job. It’s gonna get messy.

I digress. Anyway, live music’s back summer 2021, Pastel’s booked their first gig back at Wally’s in Wenatchee. It’s two hours from Yakima, I’m already committed, my wife’s running a show at Suncadia, so Wenatchee’s out of the question on a Saturday night until her show wraps before dark, so audio’s to the band and sound guy, in the truck on the 97, book a room from the road. Fire crews have everything; no vacancy, but we find one left, so it’s on and we’re over the pass, tires digging in the corners on the down – no traffic tonight.

Quick wardrobe change at the hotel for the misses I just wash the Roslyn field dirt off my feet, then we’re at the tavern just after 11. Doorman says there’s a cover, I give him 10 and ask who’s played. “opener’s done, can’t remember their name, but Paisley Somebody is about to go on.” “Cool,” and I push through a packed house. No stage, bands on the floor so I step right in, they’re shocked, I’m not suppose to be here. I’m not a hugger but they bring it in anyway, and I bring them whiskey (Pendleton of course.) They do their thing and the crowds packed tight, loving it, the energy, the music. Appropriately(?) coincidentally(?) Connor from Himiko. is here, so are Bre and Pete from Devil’s Gulch., so it’s a reunion. Later after the show the bass player’s doing concrete angels on the sidewalk a beautiful post show drunk expression, and a signal for me to call it a night.

So here’s a thank you to all the musicians who continue through, and all the fans who support. I raise my glass to you – Pendleton of course. C

Pastel Motel Himiko Cloud

THE FUNNY PAGES COMICS

AND NOVELTIES

DAD JOKE OF THE MONTH

Why shouldn’t you fall in love with a pastry chef? They’ll dessert you.

1) A 23 year old man was surfing when he was attacked by a shark. His bites were not life threatening, but after EMTs arrived, he refused medical help and opted to do this instead:

A) Went out to the bar for some liquid medical attention

B) Squeezed some of his blood into the water in an attempt to lure the shark back so he could get a selfie with it

C) Had his friends hold him back as he tried to venture back into the water with a set of brass knuckles for a fucking rematch, man

D) Hired a professional shark fisherman to try to track and kill the beast

2) In what’s being called a MEDICAL FIRST, recently a Toronto man received a DOUBLE lung transplant... But what’s neat about this particular surgery was:

A) The lungs were completely grown in a lab

B) The organs he received were flown to the hospital via DRONE

C) The man was a surgeon, abated anesthetic and ASSISTED with the surgery via a mirror

D) The doctors were in Japan and “Skyped” into a robot they could control to perform the surgery from afar

3) Singer Meghan Trainor made the news a few months ago when she made this startling admission about a remodel her and her husband made in their new home. What was the statement she made that got the attention of basically ALL of the media?

A) She and her husband got two fancy full sized beds they sleep in separately, but they push together when they want to get amorous

B) She mentioned that they had ceiling mirrors installed in nearly every room for extra curricular viewing

C) They installed a 42” screen in the shower so they could

watch Ted Lasso together while showering

D) We had two toilets installed in our bathroom side by side so her husband and her can poop together at the same time

4) During a University of Miami football game last summer, the game had to be paused because a stray cat got into the stadium and did this:

A) Fell asleep in the middle of the 50 yard line

B) Grabbed a slice of pizza from fan and drug it down to the sidelines

C) Fell from the upper deck, but was caught by a group of fans

D) The cat attacking the kicker’s practice net thinking it was some kind of predator

Who can be accredited to the following quotes:

5) “I have no respect for Santa. Don’t sneak in through the chimney and undermine my authority by bringing my family presents. Walk through the front door and fight me like a man.”

A) Kanye West

B) Cardi B

C) Frank Sinatra

D) Billy Ray Cyrus

6) I detest Sonic. His smug attitude, his blazing speed, his desire to collect gold, he’s everything I hate in this world. If more Sonic games come out, I don’t know what I am going to do with myself.

A) Dave Matthews

B) Lemmy

C) Chris Cornell

D) Kurt Cobain

ANSWERS: 1-A) Went out to the bar for some liquid medical attention. 2-B) The organs were flown to the hospital via DRONE. 3-D) We had two toilets installed in our bathroom side by side so her husband and her can poop together at the same time. 4-C) Fell from the upper deck, but was caught by a group of fans. 5-D) Billy Ray Cyrus. 6-D) Kurt Cobain.

February Horoscopes

You know what? I’m gonna forego the love and mushy Valentine’s crap and focus on another February holiday that I feel is completely under-rated, Groundhog Day. Do we seriously celebrate a holiday where we watch a giant rodent poke its head out of its hidey-hole, and if it sees its shadow we’re doomed to 6 more weeks of winter? Yes, yes we do. Sounds like perfectly sound weather science to me. Here are some horoscopes centered around this special holiday...

Aries - The groundhog only saw your shadow, 6 more weeks of putting yourself first.

Taurus - 6 more weeks of digging your heels in about something you know you need to let go of. Damn it.

Gemini - Oops you got distracted and missed the whole groundhog thing all together, 6 more weeks of wondering “what was that thing I was supposed to do?”

Cancer - The groundhog got spooked by your emotional intensity, 6 more weeks of self-shame.

Leo - The groundhog got distracted by your beauty, 6 more weeks of being sexy AF.

Virgo - You’ve got exactly 15 minutes scheduled to watch the groundhog, then it’s off to your meetings and appointments and work, and don’t forget that freelance project that’s due this afternoon… 6 more weeks of being a workaholic.

Libra - The groundhog maybe saw its shadow, but maybe not? But maybe it did, I think it did!? Either way, 6 more weeks of feeling unsure.

Scorpio - The groundhog saw his shadow alright, 6 more weeks of darkness for you.

Sagittarius - The groundhog stayed out too late partying and forgot to wake up to see his shadow, 6 more weeks of irresponsibility.

Capricorn - You knew it, you KNEW he’d see his shadow, 6 more weeks of humble bragging.

Aquarius - 6 more weeks of…wait what DO you do?

Pisces - The groundhog was having an existential crisis, 6 more weeks of overthinking for you.

1.Romeo & Juliet (96)

2.Cry-Baby

3.My Girl

4.Titanic

5.Casablanca

6.Cruel Intentions

7.Cleopatra 8.Viva Las Vegas

9.Lady And The Tramp

10.Pretty Woman

11. The Princess Bride

12.Love And Basketball

13.Sixteen Candles 14.Moonlight 15.Slumdog Millionaire

16.The Empire Strikes Back 17.Ghost 18.Top Gun

20th Century Fox

Paramount Pictures

20th Century Fox

Buena Vista Pictures

Universal Pictures

Disney/20th Century Fox

Universal Pictures

Warner Bros.

MGM

20th Century Fox

A24

Paramount Pictures

Imagine Entertainment

Columbia Pictures

Disney

New Line Cinema

Celador Films

Paramount Pictures

The Cold Winter Nights Comedy Series returns, bringing you some of the up and coming comedians around! Seating is limited so get your tickets asap. Presented by Atlas Fare, in partnership with LAPH Productions. Intended for a mature audience. TICKETS: $24-$27 (dependent on show) tables $140-$200 (INCLUDES 4 TICKETS)

From the brilliant minds of improv and comedy legend Colin Mochrie and Master Hypnotist Asad Mecci comes a brand new, mind-blowing, jaw-dropping, side-splitting show. Hypnosis and Improv — two art forms that have mystified and entertained fans, sceptics and everything in between for decades worldwide – come together as two masters of their crafts unite for a totally unique comedy experience — HYPROV: Improv Under Hypnosis. SPONSORED BY

72

negative covid-19 test for all performances and public events held indoors. Masks are required to be worn at all times while not actively eating or drinking. Go to www.NumericaPAC.org/covid-safety-protocols/ for more info on our Covid-19 protocols.