January Issue

C

The

Vo l u m e 4 5

orrespondent J o h n

H e r s e y

1900 E. Thomas St.,

MEET OUR ADVISER How many conventions have you been on?

H i g h

S c h o o l

Arlington Heights, IL 60004

Issue 6

January 2013

What we love about The Correspondent “I enjoy spending

time with the lovely staff that became my family over the past four years.''

-senior Garret Matchen

“The fact that I can’t just say what I love about The Correspondent because there’s so many things to love about The Correspondent.”

- senior Max Bestvina

“I love being around people who enjoy the same things as me. Yet, we’re also different.”

-sophomore tim \g^[Ãc

30 How many Corre advisers have there been?

4

"I l i k e b e in g a bl e t o be f r ie n ds w it h a l o t o f dif f er en t peo pl e w ho I pr o ba bl y w o ul d n ev er ha v e m et ."

How many Golden Eagles have you won?

18 How many best in shows have you won?

3 What is the most Editor-in-chiefs you have had?

4

- s e n io r Ke v in hyde

The year 2000 had 12 four-year staff members on staff The ‘Corre Group Hug’ was started in 2004 Drove students home in a stick shift with two broken elbows..

SHE”S TOUGH

““I love everything about it, the people, and the creative outlet.’

-­junior Francesca Hernadez

"I love The Correspondent because it's a good way to get involved with something you love. It's nice to be involved with people at your school and they become our family."

-sophomore Isabella Murray

“I love journalism because here we’re family.”

-‐senior Claudia Caplan

“I joined because I liked to write and it’s really cool to be a part of something bigger than myself.”

-senior Natalie Czarnota

“I’ve liked to write since second grade and my siblings also did the Correspondent, so I also joined.”

“I love journalism because you get to meet a lot of different people and do something you’ll all love.”

-junior Julia Kedizor

“It’s the kind of atmosphere that high school should be.”

-‐semior David Milligan

-‐sophomore Jack Hargett

“I enjoy the freedom we have while still learning.”

-junior Brian Loomis

“

“No matter how tough my day has been.

Coming in and seeing Janet’s face makes me feel like 100 bucks.”

-senior Nick Diaz

“I love being able to let my guard down completely. I don’t have to worry about what I wear or how I act. These people are always going to accept me.”

-senior Ashley Hawkins

“I love the trips and how close we are as a group.”

-junior Scott Bakal

2

CORRESPONDENT

January 2013

January 2013

Click us to learn more about us!

Ashley Hawkins

Abby Fesl Fesl Abby

Kevin Hyde

3

CORRESPONDENT

Claudia Caplan Jessica Lynk

Jack Hargett

Tim Griffin Max Bestvina Julia Kedzior

David Milligan

Mike Miller

Miranda Fanella

Nicole Cecala Scott Bakal

Mackenzie Francis

Erika Murillo

Dino Ljubijankic

Nick Diaz

Natalie Czarnota Caitilin Strozewski

Kevin Schroeder

Garrett Matchen

Matt Stadnicki Mili Pandya

Isabella Murray

Francesca Hernandez

Melanie Cohodes

Brian Loomis Emily Swanson Brian Boyle

4

CORRESPONDENT

January 2013

January 2013

Where is the love? e m i t e f i l a r e o v f o l s e e r r i o r C o s em reate

afeople n, p h t e wi entio ecom the conv g the b n a n ring visiti e you c lose them. Du r it was to includ c w o e h d h h t t e u i i g j st n he w tr mazi eekend ether. W alk, we ittle table ce,” a ’s t w l w g “I rien river e at one gs to ng a expe endi any thin r on the n g on o p n i s y o r d g r te inne t to d eve t bon so m mpe er ge ame, and we do r eating d cramme t’s a grea w e al co tion f n I g o n n t o . s i e e r i n o t v e v e e e th h m peti al na and name of rrespond vel Ala one. We sit toget id. ividu The com are, o d y l a a e l r s n r y C h a i e t t e s e . v d h n d e. n y e hat t ntions ar selves Th Levin an learn, e we coul y Hawki mpetes i ersonall 0+ peopl accomw w p e o o t e , s n nv kno em them ane to 20 Ashl re staff c ts them ard ite a Few spaper co who call torious J rience th nior fi ti or up ch is qu f this aw rs. e s n l e l e e o e e s p w e f o i o Th . Ne f kid the n y to exp family. th M part nven they as 15 pe ards wh them e group o ne with a tr n co is a o be d time wi s and that e w s o n l T a a t s u . t ff i a n o l n n l w a v r o c a bra board a p s of the antly, gro er as a st an go, it vid titi d have as eople wo onventio t to spen r the yea ldn’t c c o t t l u a p e h l r r g o t o u e v t l a a D o e o o o n a w t n p g r p s c r o e l g to ve ry im ers nio ea ngs atio e e e t i h e rent S v n s s c h W m e “ e t o a a . o ,” ff r e t i y r t to d te, and m e really c ough no could go man hono nt fo ther one h o lane. plishme taff is an ht us so t most o w p t h p y m rresp ks n e w a o o e l h s c a w g l t v C a h g u E e t ’s n a e r n o t o i s oo e. fo “Th n get out the D r- winn who has ortunitie ith Th er also l esom erience e w v w e a s b e e p is xp em citi re w unde ch ab Levin en us op esl said. tions onding e r. new h staff m ip. v F t befo weet spee enough ndere i u c b g ,” o e yea n e t s c r e v s h a t a a . i g i t u t s r e h r g d n f n i t e i g a t gre o r o a t o e u p n t s do b g tha ns w venti ort b y bri gan s imes elves able ture to ex Milli e adven iven a sh instance, o not onl ent ours not be Getting somethin each con favorite t ich sessio und s g ro r h Th r and f my ily is to w am a repre e are rip. D s. Do p. Fo ss, w of the tri e entire t rip. Do l student ut a tall dent fam each yea is one o it comes ble to ro ive to the a l c In th ho e t ts oo be a na rd to ntion hen s nat Don’ ocks for the entir igh Sch tings wit or wa e conve eedom w it’s nice to od place t, went o of and s e H ’ e r “Th and arre rsey s fo kids ip. nm nt fo and of fr mem wear nd sock John He onventio of the tr e ‘corre nal a lot o attend, of differe n staff, G wesome t e a h g ” c o s t o r We epti ing me a and efer t sorts buddies wear riately a othe s of is exc IME!” ld pr d tr y all morn r the “m rned in be so na said. h u op l y y t l r o i n r p m mber es T w a w o i e u p f o f n t f t v a o o a N t m a g t e s d r e h n y O iv t n it aff Be up TI sa aiti han nd o ventures he st ience, it g ke the c well t a x show coffee in the check nights w ONVEN h a e t i e w ad er .M rM ma tr s C rpor v- area e of cool re,” senio me spent ning exp roup to i black s soon as ng restles ly come. “ a e A lear ce e sag futu nal s a ti oupl joyi nd th arou lone”. On tend c s for the the trip i d while a closer a per. en en ime has fi ynk. four t e o b o e , d e s ri ht pend out all eA on s sc , an spa s r he t Jessica L hav g t g b i t e w m n o , n fl v d e t i e t o o l t n n e d n b O a e h “H ck r tting pon nity ng a ious mom ms junio r 12+ du es from ributed t e happy for orres opportu harmon ions is ge ever ythi ,” Lynk C t n e i n s s a a e e h i l l n c d t p c e Th pla ore Ex and he ven are ng s s th now them Janet e traveli peanuts es it off t , the staff art mu- student ier and m rt of con ing to k ts of o l t p s a h e n i t k t a r d ting eated an yone ma of the tr her it is a a way to for an e favorite p ly and ge , there a t enac r s se “My my fami e laughs Whe ; eve s find cour ities. ne is th er yo smoothly ring the ctivities. nts alway amiliar c on. h a f u s wit e ti enjoy to go y antsy. D and extra , the stud nd the un e conven fter day . I also e , ll u th .A them usua sessions ball gam ning aro o on ho went s g e l i t , e . n l s e lan meal or a bask g time ru een peop r those w n 1000 m be- said Cap a a i n o ft e i h ud re t ad fi seum ny amaz at th out nce f -Cla we h experie days mo ssmates a b r a e a v s e a g g a y r h cl u in in s “Thi eat bond s and fo who are arned th ,” senior t n e r e l h l w g g e p o i a n W s eo kn It wa ing three , those p the end. her wise t e y d spen rom hom family b ot have o f n e y d m l a aw eco we wou ing b ginn ther that o each Fesl said. y b b A

M

c n o i t v Conne

118

CORRESPONDENT

5

Journalism pro vides safe hav en

On eighth grade acti night, an vity fair eccentric different th group of ple set up an S peo- Ge a table an o, which w panish or Human d least a hu ta lk e as a refresh d nior Claud to ndred diff ing part to ia Caplan erent indiv at my freshman y als about said. ear," junio idu- Lyn joining th This famil r k e Je sa y atmosp sc ss id paper, Th hool newsica signifi . here is a e Corresp cant facto The learn ondent. Th r in a lot group of students' d ing that of these is durin individua ecisions to occurred g freshma ls c least 30 stu stick with experienc n year wa dents' high hanged at ited to the e. s not limw school exp riences fo r the bette e- essar y riting, but also othe "I h a ve stuck w r. r nec- n skills to be ith jou Each pe ot a good jou "I knew I rnalist. w because of the work rnalism name dow rson who put the w ith it, whic anted to d that goes ir thing n for Journ o someh I also en with writi alistic Wri ing One jo cause the jo y ng, so I , but bet- journ ined for a people in figured alism was different re son, but e room 118 enth perio the place a- But I ach had o sevd often m to start. had no ide ne goal, to a part of ake my d Bakal said a what I w be into. the group ay," . as getting I of individ who were uals style learned a variety o so tightly "I t' s a f writing great dec s and how knit on eig grade acti ision to ta J1 because to layout a hth I als vities nigh ke p you learn a o g t e m , e b t some am ut gram "I thought a lot abo m a z a in r se it a u g people," nior Ashle 'd be a coo nd writing t have othe y Hawkin l way to ," sophom Jack Harg r pe s said. ore ett said. "I Journalist and then w ople read my writin 've stayed ic writing journalism g duced hen I reali in also introbecause it zed how c students to ever yone 's a fun cla to lo ta was, it ma se teach k a n e a in n d sp ss the staff is irational er as well. de me wa stay for all like a fa nt to four years Although "J1 was an ," senior K the startin mily."

Hyde said m e e y a v e y . "It's been in ence. g trend opening e be a little I learned h x one of the different, decisions ever y perbest stor ow to write peri- son who e I've made xperience y, to be co in high sch a solid n While som s creating mfortable ool." ing ewspaper e students in a c te a an agree o n r y v o ie cited abo n w e ," senior E - it's an were exn one thin ut the op m e sa il x p y g id e : S rience in . "I got to portunitie peers to meet the m wanson that will n high scho s for ing read their ol ever be fo ost amazteacher at writing, o ers were ti rgotten.

Hersey [M th- as w mid as the "My years rs. Levin] ell," y walked on The C class. dent have into orresponreally mad Levin be e "I was sca m to c a e d m who I am a e possibly y. They h most influ red out of ave opene when I w the to d ential pers my mind d my eyes ent into h iff erent thin on in man her stude igh schoo gs and ha y of bec cause I wa n t' s h l ig b v h o e e s worried me more - ences. school ex let me accepting about mak peri- My new friend and open. ing y s. J1 allow e a rs sp ent on it "She taugh ed new peop will give m memories t me not o le with th me to meet good e I will alw nly what journalism e same in ests, and b a a ys treasure n ter- me d is onds were th , b a u t t a sh ll , w e began wit ant to be created fr thereon o h the dec a part of th made sion to ta om pape ut," senior ik e e r staff and news- o Maxwell B journalist inva said. family for ne freshm ic writing est- high my entire an year," S sc h o o l experienc Still others w a n son said.

Th e Corresp e," Swanso said. walked in 118 on th ondent n n teache to room e first day ot only s for the "Mrs. Lev with no in nation of moment, teaches less in has le cli- long what to ex but it ft such a ons that ca lasting po pect.

"I took Jo n be used years to co sitive imp li for u fe a rn m c th t e a . lism 1 on on my at I will n cident. I d ever be ab ac- get," "S idn't have o m e ti le m L to for- b es in life ynk said. a full und standing o rought to erwe are fw gether wit The atmo Turns out, hat it would be abou h people sphere du we may n t. course it was the th ring the J1 ot necessa best mista made stu I could h rily have m at it hadn't b dents of ke feel c ave made e t if e e n a o ll fo ," junior mfortable r an outsid ages I've Bakal said Scott bu and welco e source. . found tha stling high m t e in a re in joining J1 was th school sett spondent The Core first of ating a sa ing by cre I got to wo sible sem fe e ig h h rk with th aven in a t pos- Th people wh esters for ese classroom o I can c is safe hav these stud who chose . Whate all my fam en is uniqu ents to a to take it v e r e il c y. c o a lo re m t of high sc er choice p d first seme I go into I hool clubs, ared feel being ab ster freshm uring their or ac le ti sp vities. an year. to work w orts, wh "Joining J1 ith others o don't sh was proba "In one ro a re greatest de the same b ly the e a o s m m , interest cision of m y ro se om 118, y lf can wo nter and y high sch career be ou tage rk to my the atmosp ool diate cause I in advancreating so here imm ly changes. me friends, g e- Capla mething g No longer ained a se t my best worrie n reat," said. are you cond moth d about th and got to e next fu er, test o be in a c nctions r the litera lass that w ture speec as just fe h el at hom e, with fam . You ily," se-

-Abby Fesl

6

Music

Th e C o r r e s p o n d e n t

J a n u a r y 2 013

Your new playlist for 2013

Fresh bands that enhance variety in music taste Awolnation

The Lumineers

Officially a band since 2010, Awolnation released their first album, Megalithic Symphony, in March 2011.

Frontman Aaron Bruno writes all of the band’s songs, and according to an interview by MTV, he intends listeners to create their own meaning for them.

The sound for each song is different, which is a relief from bands whose songs sound the same. Awolnation can be described as a mixture of electronic rock, indie rock, and indie pop. Either way, fans get a variety of music. ‘Sail’ definitely falls more towards the electronic rock classification, probably the most out of all their songs. It is also their most successful single, coming in at number 10 on the U.S. Billboards rock songs and number five on the U.S. Billboards alternative songs, as well as going platinum.

Overall, Awolnation is a great band to check out for music tastes of all kind. t

The Lumineers, an American folk rock band from Denver, Colorado, have recently gained the attention from fans all over the world.

Wesley Schultz on vocals and guitar, Jeremiah Caleb Fraite on drums, and Neyla Pekarek on vocals and cello have reached the top of the charts with their latest hit single “Ho Hey� and self-debut album.

Being a fan of country and folk music, The Lumineers caught my attention instantly. After having listened to music on YouTube, I spotted a recommended video on the side from The Lumineers called “Ho Hey.� After replaying it 15 times in a row, I couldn’t help but listen to more of their unknown songs. “Ho Hey� had soon reached #3 on iTunes, #4 on Billboard Top 100, and #3 on Topsify. It’s not a doubt The Lumineers have become a fan favorite.

When the commercial for “Perks of Being a Wallflower� popped on my television screen, the movie wasn’t what caught my attention; it was the song playing over the script of the movie “It’s Time�, by Imagine Dragons that intrigued me.

The band’s sound brings the feeling of empowerment and true feeling.

A nice change up from everyday rap or country music, Imagine Dragons’ alternative beat intermixes with a little indie and some soulful rock.

The song “Demons� on the album Night Visions gives familiarity in all of us some of the unfortunate truths we all hold inside.

This new group of fellas is opening with a bang, and hopefully they won’t come and go, as I’m sure other fans are picking up those beats they’re putting down.

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Click here to listen to:

‘All I Need’

‘Stubborn Love’

by The Lumineers

by Awolnation

Imagine Dragons

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Click here to listen to:

‘Demons’

by Imagine Dragons

New broadcast amplifies music playlist from past and present Niciole Cecala The music scene is thriving. Although many of our current Chicagoland radio stations are tipped towards the repetitive side, the music world is swarming with undiscovered songs and new local bands that deserve a good listen.

Beginning at the start of the new year, Q 87.7’s Walt began a new weekly broadcast, Qued Up, specifically for that.

Every Sunday night from 7-8, Walt puts together a playlist of new music. By that he means the new and the old tracks which are not always heard on 87.7 from many favored artists. He’ll also feature many local up-and-coming bands, but also doesn’t forget about the old-school alternative. This week’s playlist by far gave me a taste for what I was missing, and anyone can

view the entire playlist at the Q 87.7 website.

The broadcast was well-rounded with the new and old. My favorite from the night had to go to The Walkmen’s “The Rat�. Their indie-rock sound captured my attention right off the bat. It featured true rock roots which is hard to turn away from listening. The vocals came through simple, straight forward lyrics and a raspy voice reminding me of Julian Casablancas from the Strokes. Walt penned this songs as one of their “classic tracks,� sparking my interest in checking out the band as a whole.

Although The Walkmen topped my imaginary chart, the night had more to offer. One of the local bands played was Ra Ra Riot with “Dance With Me.� It was upbeat and had a sharp feel to it. Not my first choice of music, but with it’s computer generated sound and pop inspired

lyrics they could appeal to a wide variety of people.

As the hour unfolded, and songs I never even new existed came through my ear buds, I was further glad that I chose to tune in. Atoms For Peace offered an exquisite track, “Judge, Jury, Executioner.� Their unique, mellow sound was capturing. Walt threw in a few from older bands, but of course classics. He featured Sound Gardens’ “Bones by Birds� and Green Days’ “XKid.� Both were obviously great just by the bands that created them, but even better because never once have I came across them.

So when the time comes to throwing an iPod down in frustration, now is the chance to discover new music. Every Sunday night at 7, join Walt and be the first to hear what might become the best.

If you liked the above bands, check out these other songs: Mermaids- Jinja Safari

Simple Math- Manchester Orchestra

Flapper Girl- The Lumineers

Talking in Code- Margot and the Nuclear So So’s

Take a Walk- Passion Pit

Jump On My Shoulders- Awolnation

Dirty Paws- Of Monster and Men

Bottom of the River- Delta Rae

Down in the Valley- The Head and the Heart

The Pit- Silversun Pickups

Horror Movies

J a n u a r y 2 013

Horror remakes enhanced with time Nicole Cecala A good fright is an adrenaline rush that brings out everyone’s inner fear.

With horror movies, anyone is offered that, but with the hot genre making its way into the 21st century, it has its ups and let downs.

Classics have been created from this everlasting genre, such as “Texas Chainsaw Massacre,� “Nightmare on Elm Street,� and “Friday the 13th.�

Dealing with horror can be risky because there is only so much that genuinely scares people. With the new age, new films arrive, but also a good amount of remakes. “Since a lot of the story lines have been done before, most of the newer movies are generally the same,� junior Sarah Jaffe said.

When the story has already been told, movie makers turn to the new age and special effects.

For Jaffe, she believes the new ones top the old, for that specific reason. “The newer ones have more special effects. The older ones are very clichĂŠ scary,â€? Jaffe said.

Looking at the original “Nightmare on Elm Street,� the acting and its effects go to show the age of the movie.

With its 2010 remake taking place right where we all sit, it offers a modern view that makes it just as enjoyable as the first.

So at a tie between the original idea and a better way at displaying, pick either and it’ll be worth watching.

Also popular are horror series such as the Halloween series. This continues the legend of Michael Myers with 11 entries of the films up till this date, but not all are worth watching. “It seems like they’re all turning into the same thing,� junior Erin Moody said regarding series.

Jaffe agrees, “I’m a fan of originals just because they don’t have to go off a specific story line. The series usually get worse as they go.�

The change in context is also a prominent feature when comparing the old and new. Back then, we continually get a trend of the house is haunted and there’s a monster with an axe about to attack us.

Today’s movies play with minds more, creeping out the viewer in a whole new way.

Some popular ones that have achieved this are “Paranormal Activity� and “Sinister�. They make it more bone-chilling than ever before by not revealing the villain. “The recent ones play with your mind more instead of pop out scary,� Moody said.

Whether originals tell it all or recent effects and changes appeal to the eye, it’s safe to say horror films will be with us as long as we keep getting at least a bit scared.

Th e C o r r e s p o n d e n t

7

What’s the scariest movie you’ve ever seen?

“‘Silence of the Lambs’ was really creepy, especially when the guy shaved off a person’s face and made a mask out of it,�

-Freshman Annie Barton

Silly spoofs satisfy students Isabella Murray Horror movies have notoriously been a favorite genre for teenagers, as the thrilling, unrealistic events are appealing.

Horror movies have so many cliche elements that are humorous already, but when the movies are purposely exaggerated, they are classified as spoofs.

Many enjoy the spoofs more than horror films themselves. “I prefer horror movie spoof to the actual horror films because the spoofs provide all the scare that one would desire to find in a horror film, yet it provides a plethora of cinematic humor to appreciate,� junior Sam Mulroe said.

Some really judge each film separately. “It depends on the spoof because some of them can be funny but the majority are stupid,� sophomore Luke Campbell said.

Famed horror movie spoofs are the “Scary Movie� series. The plot line is different for each of the four movies, but every one makes fun of previous horror movies. “I have seen all the ‘Scary Movie’ films, and

I like them because they are a funny spin to a horror movie,� junior Michael Buffa said.

Another spoof could be the film “Cabin the Woods,� which is less of a spoof than the “Scary Movies� although it is very humorous.

Five friends go for a break at a remote cabin in the woods, where very strange and unexpected happenings occur.

They must discover the truth behind the cabin in the woods. “I don’t like scary movies in the first place, so I don’t find the spoofs funny, but ‘Cabin in the Woods’ wasn’t too scary, and it was funny, so it was an exception,� sophomore Annie Korff said.

Spoofs have proved worthy of the public though, as a new horror movie spoof, “A Haunted House� is currently playing in theaters. “A Haunted House� is about two characters who move into their dream home, but soon learn a demon also resides there.

When one becomes possessed, the other turns to a priest, a psychic, and a team of ghostbusters for help. “It looks funny, and it looks like a movie in the genre I like,� Lingen said.

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Mama January 18

“The movie ‘The Ring’was scary, and the part where it flashes to her coming out of the well is the scariest part,�

-Sophomore Danielle Sychowski

“Movies with psychopaths because they are mentally insane and you have no idea how to control them. They will just get you,“ -Junior Carly Mandernach

“‘The Hills Have Eyes’ was pretty scary. It’s about a nuclear explosion and people attacking each other,�

-Senior Tommy McDonald

‡Click the links to view trailers, pictures, and more

8

2012

Th e C o r r e s p o n d e n t

BACK IN

J a n u a r y 2 013

Dec.

TIME...

NOV. -Obama is re-elected -Hostess closes, files for bankruptcy -Thanksgiving food drive

Technology tests limits Miranda Fanella Mili Pandya Caitlin Strozewski

The past year was full of technological, political, historical, and medical achievements throughout the U.S. and the world.

Technology was tested when Austrian Felix Baumgartner endured a four-minute free-fall from 24-miles up at the edge of space, according to CNN.com.

The iPhone 5 was released in nine countries in Sept.; ears, bones, and skin were grown in a lab by scientists to help with more advanced facial transplants and other implants that could be helpful to America’s veterans and wounded troops according to HuffingtonPost.com; and other achievements include a powerful robot scientist successfully landing on Mars.

2012 Global politics shape history

Th e C o r r e s p o n d e n t

j a n u a r y 2 013

-Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting -End of “Up All Night Tour” -Supposed apocalypse date

Jan.

Not only was competition high in sports, but the political world also got heated. The campaign for presidency of the U.S. resulted in the re-election of President Obama.

In Syria, protests intensified; citizens assembled in the streets of Chicago during its hosting of the NATO Summit in May; Representative Todd Akins’ comment on “legitimate rape” spiked controversy

Nation unites under tragic times FEB.

-George Zimmerman case -Whitney Houston dies

SEPT.

London Olympics break standards

-Turnabout -$656 million Megamillion jackpot

AUG.

APRIL -Secret Service Agents fired over misconduct in Columbia

-London Olympics -Neil Armstrong dies -Start of first year with Principal Sisson

Sandy Hook picture: (Shannon Hicks/Newtown Bee/Zuma Press/MCT) Hurricane Sandy picture: (Clem Murray/Philadelphia Inquirer/MCT) Gabby Douglas picture: (Brian Peterson/Minneapolis Star Tribune/MCT) Justin Bieber picture: (Colin McConnell/The Toronto Star/Zuma Press/MCT) Colorado shooting picture: (Eric Bellamy/Zuma Press/MCT) President Obama picture: (Pool photo by Brendan Hoffman/Getty Images via Abaca Press/MCT) NHL lockout picture: (Chris Seward/Raleigh News & Observer/MCT) NATO protest picture: (Nancy Stone/Chicago Tribune/MCT) Michael Phelps picture: (David Eulitt/Kansas City Star/MCT)

The U.S. came together after tragedy struck Newtown, Connecticut when 26 people were killed in a school shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School this past December. Adam Lanza forced his way into the building, accessed the halls and a classroom, and opened fire. Twenty of the victims were young children, attending school like any other day.

“The saddest part about the whole thing is that the victims were so young,” sophomore Drew Snelson said.

The other six victims were staff members, including the principal, school psychologist, and four other teachers, according to NYDailyNews.com. These six adults are praised for heroism and love for their students, giving their lives for them.

“There were so many mass shootings. It was a depressing moment for our country. I was disappointed,” sophomore Shannon Cunningham said.

Another tragedy was Hurricane Sandy which hit Atlantic City, New Jersey on 29 Oct., according to the National Hurricane Center. High winds knocked down power lines and trees, and the city’s famous boardwalk was ripped to pieces. Streets, homes, tunnels, and subway stations were flooded by raging waters.

“There were lots of natural disasters this past year, but we pushed through,” sophomore Ellie Richardson said.

The storm left 4.7 million people without electricity, cancelled more than 19,000 flights, closed the New York Stock Exchange for two days, and forced President Barack Obama and Governor Mitt Romney to call off campaign rallies in the affected states.

MAR.

-NHL lockout begins

Over the summer of 2012, the world was united during the Summer Olympics in London which kicked off July 27 with the opening ceremony, marking the third time that the games were held in London.

From the opening ceremony in which James Bond and the Queen sky dived into the Olympic Park, to the closing ceremony featuring One Direction, the games were full of excitement.

“I really liked watching girls gymnastics because our team was one of the best. The U.S.A. team won which was really exciting,” sophomore Jessica Schmidt said.

The U.S. finished with the most medals: 46 gold, 29 silver, and 29 bronze, according to the London 2012 website. According to Yahoo, Michael Phelps broke the record of most decorated Olympic athlete by winning his 22nd medal.

According to TopEndSports.com, Saudi Arabia, Qatar, and Brunei sent female athletes to the games for the first time, making it so that every eligible country has sent a woman to the Olympics. Women’s boxing was included, so now every sport has female athletes participating, according to BBC. The games, in which, according to BBC, more than 10,000 athletes from 204 countries competed ended on Aug. 12, leaving everyone looking forward to the 2016 games in Rio de Janeiro.

among pro-choice groups and women; Israel’s prime minister visited President Obama in Washington; a new government formed in Greece; Russia joined the World Trade Organization; the U.S. began taking action for the U.S. Embassy attacks in Libya; tensions rose between Israel and Iran; and Rick Santorum spoke to students in school.

-Protests intensified in Syria

OCT.

-Hurricane Sandy -Taylor Swift new album “Red” -Homecoming -San Francisco Giants win World Series

9

JULY

MAY

-Colorado theater shooting at showing of “Dark Knight Rises” -London Olympics -Justin Bieber new album “Believe” GRAPHIC BY MIRANDA FANELLA

JUNE

-Obama first president to declare support for gay marriage -Chicago NATO protests

2012 sets stage for 2013

In the entertainment world Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift released new hit albums that are either raved about or disliked, and One Direction’s “Up All Night” tour came to an end, leaving young girls still screaming and in tears.

The year also brought the unfortunate deaths of Whitney Houston and Neil Armstrong, two well known and respected people in the

public.

Hostess, the makers of Twinkies, also came back in to the spotlight after filing for bankruptcy.

The past year has been full of improvements and setbacks, but created new memories and experiences that have set the stage for possible achievements in a promising and hopeful 2013.

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Th e C o r r e s p o n d e n t

Preview

J a n u a r y 2 013

2013 movies to fill big shoes Brian Boyle

reboot “Man of Steel.” Releasing on June 14, Snyder seems to have taken a page from Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight trilogy, and will turn this From explosive and exhilarating blockbusters like Marvel’s “The superhero story into a bleak, dark, and at least somewhat grounded in Avengers,” to captivating and engaging dramas like “Argo,” there is no reality, grand epic. Though Superman himself, Henry Cavill, may be a doubt in my mind that 2012 was one of the most well-rounded and en- relative unknown to most moviegoers, the supporting cast has some tertaining years in film that I’ve experienced. And while the upcoming surprisingly large star-power. Amy Adams plays love interest Lois Lane, twelve months may not have a plethora of sure-thing hits, there is cer- Russell Crowe plays Supermans’ biological father, and Kevin Costner plays adoptive father Jonathan Kent. tainly plenty to look forward to.

On a lighter note, 2013 already apLike most years, there aren’t too many pears to be a better year for comedies, high profile films until May, which usually with several landmark releases. Argumarks the beginning of the blockbuster ably the biggest comedy of the year will season. be “The Hangover Part III.” The original Releasing May 10, “The Great Gats2009 film was critical and commercial by” aims to be a high-profile drama. With gold, raking in high praise from critics a distinct, vibrant, and killer visual style, and breaking plenty of box office records.

“The Great Gatsby” is based on F. Scott The 2011 “Part II” made even more monFitzgerald’s classic American novel set in ey, though was a general disappointment the roaring 1920’s. Rounded out by proven for fans, often criticized for being too director Baz Lurhmann (“Romeo+Juliet”) similar to the original. and a promising cast, with Tobey Maguire, “The Hangover Part III” releases Carey Mulligan, and Leonardo DiCaprio on May 24 and has a lot to live up to. It’s in the title role, “The Great Gatsby” might going to bring returning director Todd be able to bridge the gap between the critiGreat Gatsby Logo courtesy of Warner Brothers.

Phillips and the main cast back together for cally acclaimed dramas and the high-budget one more trip to Vegas. This time, hopefulblockbuster season. ly there will be enough original jokes and smart dialogue to be just as Of course, it will be facing considerable box-office competition, memorable as the 2009 instant classic. releasing just one week after “Iron Man 3,” with Robert Downey Jr. reJust a month after its release comes “This is the End,” another turning as everyone’s favorite billionaire genius, Tony Stark/Iron Man. comedy set to release on June 14. The most impressive aspect of this “Iron Man 3” has a lot to live up to. I would’ve said expect more of the movie is the all-star cast of comedy geniuses, including Seth Rogen, same, since critics and audiences seemed to like the first two Tony Jonah Hill, James Franco, Jay Baruchel, Danny McBr ide, Stark outings, but with director Shane Black replacing Jon Jason Segel, Craig Robinson, Paul Rudd, Michael Cera, F a vreau, “Iron Man 3” might just be a nice change Emma Watson and just about every other act o r that adds a little grit and edge to an otherwise norwhose starred in a Judd Apatow film. mally lighthearted adventure. Downey Jr., Gwyneth The film centers around a celebrity party brought Paltrow, and Don Cheadle, are joined by newcomers to a sudden stop by the apocalypse. It sounds awesome, Guy Pearce and Sir Ben Kingsley, both serving as villains. but “This is the End” could easily disappoint if it suffers from Speaking of super-heroes, director Zack Snyder, (“300” an over-obnoxious script. and “Watchmen”), brings Superman back to the big-screen in

Snow fails to fall before finals

Tim Griffin

Jack Hargett Many students enjoy winter because along with the cold weather, there is snow and new activities to do.

The landscape is turned into a glistening world of white, and the mind sets of students change to accommodate this.

But, for many students it appears that the winter snow storms are taking a dramatically long time to show up, almost as long as the Honors Assemblies.

With less than an inch of snow in November and December, winter has merely been a cold, dreary time surrounding finals.

Instead of the occasional snowball fight or snowman being built, students have kept the boots in the closet while pushing away the winter desires. “[Snow] sets the mood for winter for me. Without it, winter just isn’t the same,” sophomore Zach Durec said. A statement that is echoed by numerous students.

“Yes... yes very much. It doesn’t feel like winter if there isn’t snow,” senior Sara Bayerle said.

The reason for this dry winter is said to be El Nino. Usually by this year it has formed and winters have had precipitation, but it hasn’t showed up.

El Nino carries warm tropical water up into mainland United States, where it then falls, in the

College basketball bounces into March madness

Midwest it is usually snow. Still, some students have hope of snow.

“Yes, it will snow, and it will make the winter better for all of us.

If a snow day gets stuck in there, that’s fine with me,” Durec said.

Snow days, another form of escape from the cold, dark world of winter that students normally feel.

The freedom that is given for just a single day adds an element of aloofness and enjoyment to the day.

“Yes of course [I enjoy the snow]. I go sledding and I roll down the hill a couple of times.” senior Anto Sagayaraj said.

Sledding, skiing, and snowball fights consume students solitary free day. Snow activities are a different escape to the ‘long’ winter that we are consumed by.

But, without any snow this year, the year looks to be melting into a puddle of expectations.

Only 64 days. The Men’s NCAA basketball tournament is right around the corner and with conference games now beginning, why not already look ahead to March? I mean Walmart puts Valentines Day decorations out the day after New Year’s so why can’t I look ahead to my favorite so-called holiday: March Madness.

It’s one of the best times of the year for college basketball: no more undefeated teams, tough top ten conference bruisers, and the terrific weeknight match ups that keep me from doing my homework.

Michigan, with its terrific guard play from Trey Burke and all-out hustle from Tim Hardaway, Jr., is always in the back of my mind for a title contender. . Look for those Wolverines to make it deep into the tournament, and possibly become National Champions.

Another team I love watching are those Indiana Hoosiers, and not just to see those flashing striped warm-ups. Outstanding coaching performances by Tom Crean will have IU in contention for not only this year, but many to come.

The Player Of The Year candidate, Cody Zeller, has been living up to his expectations, and the guard tandem of Jordan Hulls and Yogi Ferrel is stellar. Expect those Hoosiers to return to the Final Four.

Indiana could be joined by Duke in the Final Four. The Blue Devils have a well-balanced team and are looking to go for their 5th National Championship.

Coach K has the Dukies sitting pretty combined with the magnificent play of big-man Mason Plumlee. The fiery play of Quinn Cook and the scoring ability of Seth Curry and Rasheed Sulaimon will not only lead Duke to domination of the ACC, but to a National Championship.

The last team in title contention is Arizona. Sure, they have had their fair share of rough games, including their close call at home against Colorado and there tough, road loss against a mediocre Oregon team. But they are still 15-1.

They have an outstanding point guard in Mark Lyons, who can take over a game in a flash.

They have shut down defense in Nick Johnson giving them versatility and a 6-7’, 220 lb. forward who can knock down the three in Solomon Hill.

The NCAA Tournament is not an easy thing to predict, thats what makes it great. The anxiety and stress an individual is overwhelmed with when writing out a bracket is priceless. There is still a lot left in the season (forgive me for the cliche) and anything can happen. Upsets, buzzer-beaters, injuries, and firings, this season is far from over. Only 64 more days.

Ja n u a ry

Finals

2 013

Students discuss finals format Dino Ljubijanki

coming back to school, only having to remember the key points of the lessons beforehand.

If there ever was a convenient time to forIn the 2011-2012 school year, Christmas and New Year’s day were both included in win- get small amounts of information, it could be ter break. The same happened in the 2012-2013 argued that the best time would be before a new school year. In the 2011-2012 school year, ev- semester, where several new lessons are introeryone took the finals on Jan. 18, 19, and 20. In duced.

“We’ve never the 2012-2013 school done that. That would year, students will take work out with prethem on January 16, 17, paring for the finals. and 18.

And it would also The big difference: be great to have two last year, two weeks sepweeks of break right arated the end of winter after finals. It might break and the beginning work out,” Bruce said. of finals week. This year, Unfortunately, only one week separated it seems like a finalsthe two. r i g ht - b e f o re - w i n Because of Christter-break schedule mas day falling on a would be difficult to Tuesday, and the break t.ICHAEL .ILLER arrange. needed to cover both tudents study in a group to prepare for final A lot of students Christmas and New exams. Many find that having finals before leave early before Year’s, the break lasted break would be more convenient. break to go to their until Jan. 6. vacationing spots.

After a week, it was finals week. Seeing how there was only one week Missing several finals when they are issued between the break and the finals, some students might do significant harm to a student’s grades.

“The break right after finals would be really question if they had enough time to prepare.

“I can live with only one week between nice because the semester is over and kids have break and finals. Obviously, it was more conve- time to relax, but the school would have to make nient to have two weeks to prepare instead of up the days the got taken away to move the fione. I think it helped a little to have that extra nals to an earlier week,” said sophomore Deanna Divenere. week,” junior Will Bruce said.

In addition, moving finals to an earlier date The decision came down to whether or not students should be held responsible for prac- would ultimately result in a shift in the school ticing for finals over the break, or if students year.

“The start of school the next year would be shouldn’t be focusing much on studying over winter break, a time for relaxation, and it actu- earlier, and I don’t think students would be ok ally should be the responsibility of the school with starting school at the beginning of August.” to schedule a break that gives students enough Divenere said.

On the other hand, pushing the school time to get back to their old studying habits after year back by a couple weeks would cause school break.

One interesting idea came up: having finals to end earlier as well.

In 2013, Christmas is on a Wednesday. before the break.

From a student’s standpoint, it seems like a The break will cover it, and the next New Year’s nice schedule. Right after finals, there would be while leaving enough time for students to get prepared for finals. a two week break.

To add on, right after the finals would be the end of the semester. Two weeks to relax, then

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“I cram the weekend before.”

“The week before finals, I study for my hardest classes.”

-Junior Erick Deloera

-Senior Sarah Zoeller

-Sophmore Christine Varghese

“I use reviews, study guides, and packets for studying.”

“I do nothing.”

-Freshman Buzz Lindgren

-Senior Vivek Shah

11

Nine fine tips to ace finals

Pushing finals back proves advantageous

“I study for 30 minutes per day the week before finals.”

Th e C o r r e s p o n d e n t

1. Get enough sleep the week of finals: While most teenagers are woefully behind on sleep schedules, the couple days before finals are essential to getting the desired grade. Studies have proved time and time again that sleep can improve memory, which is essential for final exams.

2. Pay attention to finals information: In the days or weeks preceding finals, teachers can reveal a lot of information pertaining to the final. They might reveal its weight, the structure, whether it’s multiple choice or not, etc. This information is gold, so the days before finals are not the time to doze off in first period.

3. Eat a good breakfast: Eating a good breakfast is one of the best things that can be done to improve performance on final exam day. Studies have shown that eating breakfast has a variety of benefits. In addition, nothing’s worse when trying to concentrate than an empty, growling stomach. Eating a good, healthy breakfast can eliminate any stomach problems during finals.

4. Find a quiet place to study: Nothing beats a good, quiet place for studying. Whether it’s the library or a secluded room at home, studying in a quiet place reduces distractions and may speed up studying.

5. Create a plan: Before finals or studying for them, make a plan. Get a calendar and write which finals are on which day and plan from there. Know how many hours are needed to study for each final, and knowing what time to study for them is best. Writing down when to study for finals can result in less pressure due to knowing when to study.

6. Set study priorities: Find out which classes have the most material to review, the most borderline grade, the highest percentage worth, essay vs. Scantron, etc., and prioritize what classes to study for based on these factors.

7. Take breaks from studying: While it might be tempting to go on study marathons to get that borderline grade up, a lack of breaks can actually be hurtful.

Study marathons can result in even more boredom than studying usually results in and tiredness. While taking breaks won’t alleviate all of the boredom that results from studying, it will definitely be refreshing.

8. Keep an eye on the clock: Nothing’s worse during a final than realizing that there are five minutes and ten questions left. An easy solution to this is to keep an eye on the clock. By doing this, time can be divided evenly towards questions and the end of the test is less stressful, leaving time to check answers.

9. Set Goals: Goal setting can result in increased motivation and concentration, which can be especially helpful after a couple hours spent studying. Although setting goals might not seem like much, especially when beginning to study, it will pay dividends come the day of the final exam.

“I study during free time afrer school.”

-Junior Monica Piotrowicz

Matt Stadnicki Michael Miller

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‘Pokemon’ X and Y Assassins Creed 3 coverage from A to Z ‘revolutionizes’ series

‘Halo 4’ gameplay sparks excitement

Nick Diaz

Maxwell Bestvina

Garret Matchen

“Pokemon” fans rejoice! Nintendo recently announced the new generation of “Pokemon” games, featuring three new starters and a whole new region to explore with all new pocket monsters to catch, trade, and battle.

The two games are t.$5 $".164 titled X and Y and a full trailer was released on Jan. 8, showing an all new 3D design both in the battle sequences and the over world. This is the first main “Pokemon” game to be completely rendered in three dimensions.

“Pokemon” X and Y will be released globally Oct. 2013.

This announcement comes with some surprise since the last “Pokemon” games, White 2 and Black 2, were released Oct. 2012, only a year away from the release date of X and Y. White 2 and Black 2 were direct sequels of the previous games, which is unheard of in itself. It goes to show that Nintendo is looking for ways to revolutionize the “Pokemon” franchise.

Details on the story line and new, unique features will be released further in the year, but one thing is certain with the announcement of “Pokemon” X and Y: the “Pokemon” legend is going stronger than ever and shows no sign of slowing down.

“Assassins Creed 3” does a stellar job at continuing the amazing “Assassins” series that has been apart of our lives for the last six years.

While marinating the elements that make the series what it is, the producers have also done great work at providing game play that fresh and new.

Off the bat, the main single player is strong.

Although it takes rather too long to finally be released into the sand box world to do as you please, about three hours, players will be rewarded with very satisfying game play experience when they get to it. Side missions are new and creative, the set pieces are vast and beautiful, and training your assassins has that same satisfaction it always has.

The characters and story hit and miss. It’s fun interacting with the founding fathers like Washington and Franklin, but other characters fall flat like Conner, the assassin you control. His path to becoming an assassin after the English wipe out his tribe is very bear bone. After finding a way to be trained into the arts, the game doesn’t really allow you to watch him grow up, unlike Ezio. This could have been a great way to expand on the story. He’s also just a very dull.

Finally, the multiplayer is another great aspect of the game. With a whole bunch of different modes to part take in, and character customization, players will be enticed with this for a very long period of time.

Overall, “Assassins Creed 3” does a good job with doing what it does. I’m personally excited to see where the series will get after the ending players witnessed, but until then this should do.

The “Halo” series has never been my game.

If I played it, I would only play it at a friend’s house. Despite my like for it in the past, I never bought any of the games in the series. However, after my lack of love for the new “Call of Duty,” and the great reviews I had heard about “Halo 4,” I decided to pick up a copy for myself with my holiday money.

t.$5 $".164 The campaign, which I still don’t understand and never will, was entertaining, but did not draw me into the game. What did draw me into the game, however, was the exhilarating and intense multiplayer, or “war games.” My first game back to the series was a blast. Literally, I was blasting aliens left and right. “War Games” was extremely exciting, especially when I got a group of friends and played customs game; we even played flickerball.

“Halo 4” has a whole new feel to it that makes the gameplay more enjoyable. Due to “Halo 4,” I have been swept away by the enjoyment of it and will be a player of the series games to come.

“Black Ops 2” dissapoints despite record breaking sales Garret Matchen then my love for “Call of One of the most anticipated games of 2012, “Black Ops 2,” once again broke Activision’s grossing record. “Black Ops 2” brought in 1$ billion dollars in 15 days and $500 million in the first 24 hours.

However, success in money, doesn’t mean a successful game.

“Call of Duty 4” produced an addict of out me, but ever since

Duty” has declined exponentially; “Black Ops 2” has put me over the edge. Every game I play (although I rarely play), my anger grows. The constant death in the spawn, the cheaters, the glitches, and my worthless teammates.

The campaign of the game, although very energetic and capturing, is not work

the $60 I spent on the game.

After about a week of playing, I stopped playing and rented the game out to a few friends.

During my break of the game I decided to pick up “Battlefield 3.” Not only do I love the game, but

I got my brother and friend to buy it. As of now “Battlefield 3” is much more entertaining and thrilling then “Black Ops 2.”

Now that I’ve taken a good month long break, and not playing it once over winter break, I guess I could give it a shot.

Maybe the developers came out with an update to fix the long lists of bugs crawling throughout the game.

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Th e C o r r e s p o n d e n t

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Award brings colorful reactions Julia Kedzior The face of every human being lit up with joy as a special announcement was made during 2nd period on January 3rd, 2013. Students and teachers were ecstatic to discover that our beloved school-or second home-had received the most valuable distinction of “Best High School Colors.”

The committee that was in charge of presenting this magnificent award calls itself SCASS- Specialists on Colors and School Spirit.

SCASS claims that it sure was a tough decision, but after examining the halls and observing the spirit wear, John Hersey High School was an obvious winner.

Arnold Hueman, the director of SCASS, sat down for an interview during which he emphasized the true meaning of a school’s colors.

“It’s not just picking out random colors of the rainbow,” Hueman said. “It’s about the mag-

ic, determination, and thought that lies behind every color.”

As happy as can be, students and staff celebrated like never before. Orange and brown streamers filled the classrooms, food was brought in to daily class parties, and people of all ages were seen frolicking through the halls.

The reaction of the student body, without a doubt, exceeded expectations.

“Honestly, I’m not surprised,” junior Mina Ljubijankic said. “One of the main reasons I love this school is because of its colors! Nothing compliments orange better than brown.”

Why are orange and brown such appealing colors? There can most definitely be multiple answers to that question.

“Everyone loves the color brown; it’s the color of chocolate. And orange brings us great memories of Halloween,” Ljubijankic said.

“I mean, who doesn’t want to look like an employee of Hooters?” junior Francesca Her-

nandez said.

Others tend to take a more symbolic approach.

“I feel like the color orange captures our souls, and the brown makes us feel powerful and dominant. It also reminds me of poo,” senior Roberto Guzman said.

Either way, it’s indubitable that these two simple yet mighty colors have an enormous meaning to the inhabitants of the school.

It has been even argued that the recognition of Hersey shouldn’t just stop at “Best High School Colors,” and perhaps there are more awards that the home of the Huskies deserves.

“I believe that Hersey should also deserve the award for best locker and wall colors! Beige and beige. What could be better?” said Ljubijankic.

The never-ending pride and confidence of the Huskies will never be forgotten after this memorable milestone in Hersey history.

J a n u a r y 16 , 2 013

Satire

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In other news...

There have been some mysterious transformations at Hersey Several Hersey students have been mysteriously transformed.

Vote for your favorite student hybrid in the Entertainment section of Correspondent Live and they might end up in February’s issue of the Correspondent!

“It’s crunch time for finals!”

Football team goes undefeated Francesca Hernandez The 2012 football season for the Huskies was a momentous occasion; the team had an undefeated regular season and went on to succeed in post season. The effective changes made in recent years, such as new coaching, new players, and new strategies all contributed to the recent success on the field. However, others believe that the triumph stems from a more unconventional place.

“Mini Van Jamz was a major part of us [the Huskies] accomplishing the status of undefeated. They motivated the team when they were down. Their music is so inspirational, words can not even describe the emotions their lyrics evoke,” junior Raymund Tenorio said tearily.

The Huskies’ 9-0 record, while outstanding, was not known by a large population of people in the school community.

Junior Amanda Durava went on to say, “Ew. I don’t follow football; it is too mainstream.

I usually spend my free time in obscure coffee shops while listening to indie and folk music.”

The victories did not come as a shock or an expectation to people either. Mostly because people weren’t aware of the team. When asking Sean Hlavin, a random student in the hallway, about his feelings towards the prosperity of the football team, he responded with “Wait, what? Since when did we have a football team? I was completely oblivious to that.” However, there are some people who are fully aware of the team and fully support it.

While the team experienced many highs during the season, one of the biggest highlights was actually off the actual field.

“The highlight of the season was probably when people actually came out for support.

Typically, people don’t really watch the games.

But recently, there was a staggering thirty people in the bleachers during the last couple of games. Granted, half of the people were parents but never the less it was still wild,” said Tenorio.

This spike in spectators will bring Hersey up to par with other school’s fanbases, like Prospect’s notorious Blue Crush spirit club.

Even though the football team’s accomplishments have been overshadowed by those of the math team, it doesn’t detract from their incredible victory.

“My fur looks purr-fect.”

Goodbye, world Melanie Cohodes On December 21, there were no earthquakes, no tsunamis, and definitely no zombie virus outbreaks.

The world, however, did explode.

Because it conveniently fell in the first week of winter break, there were enough students who hadn’t switched to a nocturnal schedule that there are some firsthand accounts of the explosion.

“Yes, I am aware the world exploded on Dec. 21,” junior Rino Nozawa said. She went on to recount how she had been jamming out to the Backstreet Boys when she saw the flash of light through her window. “It all happened very quickly,” Nozawa said. “If you want the details,

check Youtube- someone might have taped it.”

“I was sleeping when it happened,” junior Josh George said, and explained his attitude towards the explosion. “It was a life changing experience and I have a changed outlook on life because of it. I need to attune my spirit to nature and focus on the forces of this world.”

While that may a bit difficult, seeing as ‘nature’ and ‘this world’ are currently ashes and soot drifting in the expanse of space, the question of what to do after this surprising turn of events still remains.

“I’m actually not very sure how I’m talking to you right now,” Nozawa said.

Several world-renowned scientists from Atlantis have hypothesized that the explosion blended the earth’s magnetic poles into a swirl-

ing mass of energy that enables now-incinerated humans to communicate from beyond the charred lumps of space debris that would have been their graves, but nothing is known for sure.

The explosion, while expected ironically by hipsters and non-ironically by cultists, was predicted by the Mayans.

“I knew it was going to happen because the Mayans said so- they’re the supreme rulers of the goings-on and whatnot,” Nozawa said.

George offered some advice in the vein of early American Senator Henry Clay that unfortunately came too late: “This obviously could have been avoided through compromise.”

“My tail brings all the dogs to the yard.”

“No, I don’t play basketball.

Do you play minigolf?”