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Best Possible Life

Heidi Farber How can we live our best possible life?

This is not an original concept. Indeed, this question has been posed for millennia. Whether from a Western perspective or an Eastern point of view, creating a good life has been a central theme for all societies as well as religions. This is not a single unchanging entity but a conversation over time reflecting an ever-evolving world. Cultures have morphed to become relevant with “modern times.” Yet our human responses to life’s difficulties remain the same. We still have anxieties, losses, disappointments, failures, and woes. People want to suffer less and hope to gain instead some sense of ease and equanimity. The resolution requires a change in consciousness that will restore our fundamental sense of connection to ourselves, Nature, and all beings. What tools can we use to help us creatively cope with change and impermanence, and reaffirm meaning and value?

When we are dissatisfied with aspects of our own time and culture, we seek out alternative practices and beliefs of another. Some of them can be adapted or reinterpreted if they are to be embraced. As religious traditions evolve, traditionalists strive to maintain fundamental ideas that may no longer be relevant or meaningful. But innovators try to adapt them to meet the needs of the moment. This is how religions survive over many centuries. For example, Buddhism has developed alongside other yoga practices as it was transmitted from India to China and Japan. The history of this religion has been interpreted, reinvented and revised through different lenses. The challenge we face in the West is how to make Buddhist practice authentically our own. What gives us a sense of well-being in difficult times? Cultivating a set of moral virtues like compassion, truthfulness, courage and wisdom fosters happiness. But there are no perfect states of joy. This is a never-ending process without a final destination. We are all subject to misfortune and are not immune to suffering. However, we can still pursue happiness and live meaningful lives. Being wise and discerning, kind and loving will keep us on the path to a better life. We do this not just for self but for all of humanity. That is the goal of yoga, which is to make our desires consonant with our higher selves. It is neither perfect nor permanent but reflects an aspiration to connect with others and end up in a better place.

We must see the interdependence of the journey of the individual and the journey of society in which the individual lives. Personal transformation is interwoven with societal transformation. We embrace the world together as part of practice. It is our responsibility to form relationships to support, guide and influence others in wholesome ways. We are all agents of understanding, beginning with the mind and heart. We co-create the universe. All phenomena are interdependent. When we see this interdependence, we experience ourselves as connected, brave and deeply empathetic. This transformed view makes all the difference in the world. There is no separation between self and other, and my life exists only because of others. It is the power of others, the power beyond myself that sustains my entire existence. Nothing exists separate from other things in the universe. When we awaken to our togetherness with others, our experiences give rise to gratitude, which ultimately expresses itself as joy. Now ask: “What do I really want from practice? What is my best possible life?”

ummingbird ogaH Y

Heidi Farber •Certified Kripalu Teacher • Teacher Training

Central Square #19 • 199 New Road • Linwood, NJ 08221 ph. (609) 927.8010 • cell (609) 442.3487 www.hummingbirdyoganj.com

Fashion & Beauty

The Right Fit

Do you have a drawer full of bras that are either uncomfortable or the fit is just unflattering? You are not alone, there are tons of women of all ages sstruggling with the same problem!

At The Bra Boudoir we are here to help you with all of your lingerie needs. We specialize in bra fittings, where we take the time to not only find out what size fits you best but what style bras fit best on your body. After all there are over 20 different style categories of bras and 100s of different sizes that exist in the bra world. Not only are there huge variations on the bras that are available to buy but our body and breast shapes are all different as well. Each one of us is unique but equally perfect just like a snowflake. During your fitting, we listen to your concerns, we ask you what you do not like about your bras and what you are looking for. Then we will choose different size and style bras that we think will work best for you and assist you with trying them on until we find your perfect fit. Your concerns, happiness and comfort with your lingerie are important to us, so If you have had a bra fitting elsewhere and the experience left you with bras that are still uncomfortable in one way or another. I encourage you to give The Bra Boudoir a chance. We book our bra fittings by appointment to ensure you a comfortable and private fitting experience where you will get all of the time and attention without distractions from other customers.

You can book your bra fitting, shape wear fitting, or lingerie styling for free on our website Brafittingsnewjersey.com or by calling us at 609-829-2867.

Testimonial

“I went in to get fitted for a bra as I knew I wasn’t wearing the right size. I am not a small woman and Julie was so very helpful finding me the proper fit. I will not buy my lingerie from anyone else. Superior service and very friendly. Thank you for a wonderful buying experience.”-SLB

More Than A Measurement

A charming and relaxed boutique for all of your undergarment needs. Specializing in bra, lingerie and shape wear fittings.

• Over 100 different bra styles in sizes 28A-46O • Sticky bras and lingerie solution products • Lingerie and shape wear XS-3X • Hosiery by thigh measurement and Swimwear by bra sizes

6024 Main Street • Mays Landing, NJ 08330

*Parking in the back* www.Brafittingsnewjersey.com • 609-829-2867

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Legal Professionals The 3 C’s: Covid, Custody & Co-Parenting

By Marla Marinucci, Esq.

Fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers® Certified by the Supreme Court of New Jersey as a Matrimonial Law Attorney

No doubt these are unprecedented times. Between the Covid-19 pandemic, the upcoming election, recent crazy weather events (a tornado touched down in Ocean City a few days ago), and a slew of other strange events, it has been difficult to find a silver lining in anything recently. I have always tried to find at least one positive aspect in everything, regardless of how negative a situation is.

For example, as family law attorneys, something we have been wanting for years has been the ability to file documents electronically. Other courts and divisions have had electronic filing for many years, but not in the family part. Thanks to the pandemic, we now have electronic filing, and it is awesome. It has made life so much easier, and for the most part has had the effect of expediting things. Additionally, while I was initially not a big fan of having court appearances done via Zoom or other digital platform, I cannot imagine ever going back to having all in-person court hearings and am enjoying not paying $10 to park every time I have court in Atlantic City. I also cannot remember the last time I wore a suit, which has been another huge plus. Granted, in no way do I believe that this pandemic has been a good thing. The point I am trying to make is that out of bad, can come good.

Let’s talk about custody and the effects Covid-19 is having on coparenting. Take, for example, the Governor’s order to close all schools starting in mid-March. I was so thrilled to learn of many situations of parents (divorced or just not together anymore) who successfully, and without court intervention, co-parented with each other to modify parenting time in light of the new normal: remote learning. In nearly every case of this kind that I heard about where the parents worked things out themselves, the noncustodial parent’s time increased substantially. No doubt there were plenty of cases that had the opposite result whereby one party used the pandemic as a shield in an attempt to prevent the other party from having any parenting time at all. However, I found that such a tactic was immediately shut down by the Court absent certain unique circumstances that warranted a suspension of parenting time to one party.

There are many cases that, due to distance (i.e., the parents reside in different states far apart), one parent is not able to enjoy much parenting time during the school year because it’s either too expensive (requires plane tickets) or there are not enough school breaks to warrant parenting time beyond Christmas break, spring break, and the summer. Even if an agreement states that one party is entitled to all three-day weekends during the school year, that is hardly enough time for anyone, nor is it fair to the child, because if it involves flying, there will be substantial time spent in the airport on two of the three days, and it’s just plain exhausting. With Covid-19 and the advent of remote learning, now is the time for the non-custodial parent, who rarely gets to see their child/children during the school year due to geography, to enjoy more parenting time. This applies to parents who live near each other as well. From what I have gleaned online, most school districts nationwide are offering a few different options for the 2020-2021 school year, including a hybrid schedule that involves a combination of in-person learning and remote learning, as well as an all-remote-learning option. As of the time of this writing, it appears possible that the Governor in New Jersey could once again order that schools in New Jersey close again out of safety precautions for the staff and the students. Assuming there are no parental fitness issues involved, and the pre-pandemic parenting schedule was determined based on each party’s work schedules at the time, and of course the child actually attending school, if one or both parents are now working from home, AND your child’s school is either one that involves two or three days of remote learning and two or three days of in-person learning, or all-remote learning, now is the time to flex those atrophied co-parenting muscles and take advantage of these unprecedented times. It is the child’s right to spend as much time as possible with both parents. More often than not, one parent spends far too much time and energy limiting the other parent’s time with the child for reasons that have nothing to do with the safety of the child, and for the most part are founded in spitefulness. Remote learning can be done anywhere, near and far. A child who lives with Mom and attends school in New Jersey and whose school has implemented an all-remote learning plan can follow that same plan with Dad, who lives in California, and with whom the child may not spend a lot of time due to distance and school. Temporarily modifying a parenting plan does not require a court order provided both parties agree. This is what co-parenting is all about.

Call my office at 609-398-1900 for a consultation.

Today’s Families Face Many Challenges... We’re Here to Help Your Family Through Them.

Divorce • Alimony • Custody • Child Support • Marital Settlement Agreements • Emancipation

Post-Judgment Modifications • Prenuptial Agreements • Appeals • Mediation & Arbitration

S RUSSELL & MARINUCCI S

117 Atlantic Avenue, Ocean City, NJ 08226 • CALL: (609) 398-1900 Fax: (609) 398-7292 • Email: marinucci@OCNJfamilylaw.com

Certified by the Supreme Court of New Jersey as a Matrimonial Law Attorney