04.01.11 by The Crimson White

IT’S FRIDAY. Watch the CW staff celebrate at cw.ua.edu

The pieces in this section are satirical. For real news, see section B

“

“ Gotta get down on Friday

Mocking the University of Alabama since 2011

Vol. 117, Issue 106

‘Where’s Waldo: UA Edition’ launches

By Kelsey Stein Lifestyles Editor kelseystein99@gmail.com

the world, traveling through time and searching for scrolls in various fantasy lands, the master of blending into a crowd The many students who spent will make an appearance on the their childhood years wonder- University campus. Last week UA President ing where exactly Waldo is can rest easy. After jetting around Robert Witt announced the

University’s newest initiative – a daily, campus-wide game of Where’s Waldo? Witt’s Academic Locational Diversion for Overcrowding, or the WALDO program, will become more challenging as the student population continues to

expand in accordance with Witt’s enrollment goals. “It can’t be that hard to find Waldo yet,” Witt said. “I mean, this campus isn’t that crowded. I walked into Fresh Food just the other day and found an empty chair.”

By Brett Hudson Contributing Writer

See WALDO, page 2

By Victor Luckerson Baller, Shot Caller editor@cw.ua.edu

Anthony Grant has a long history in playing basketball. He also has a long history in coaching basketball. But what helps Grant the most on the sidelines is scaring the will out of anyone that he wants to. He’s flexed his intimidation muscle in certain times throughout the year. There was the missed call at Vanderbilt earlier in the year. He put on quite a show during the loss at Ole Miss, too. But now we know Grant has

this story. Mr. Carter said he is scheduled to play at the amphitheater at 9 p.m. and vows to wow the crowd until “[his] boo, Beyonce, picks [him] up from work.” A book signing celebrating Hova’s autobiography, “Decoded,” which was released on Nov. 11, was originally

A UA student made history Thursday by reading the entirety of the University of Alabama’s student newspaper, The Crimson White. Rosa Owens, a junior majoring in anthropology, read every story in the March 31 issue of the CW. “I ended up getting to class about fifteen minutes early because I wanted to get a good parking spot,” Owens said. “I was going to do the crossword but they had reprinted an old one … again.” Owens, usually only a casual CW reader, began reading each story to kill time. “My cell phone was dead, too, and my laptop recently broke,” Owens said. “And all the New York Times were gone from the rack, and even the USA Todays. It was weird.” Owens’ teacher was 15 minutes late to class, which gave

See JAY-Z, page 2

See STUDENT, page 2

See GRANT, page 3

Jay-Z plans concert at Amphitheater

The Tuscaloosa Amphitheater will start things off with the Avett Brothers tonight at 8, but it will feature one of the biggest names in rap next Friday. Jay-Z, the CEO of hip-hop himself, will make his first trip to the state of Alabama next

constantly growing student body will make each game of Where’s Waldo? more fun than the last. How can something so fun be anything but good for this institution?”

Student reads entirety of CW

Grant stares down Medusa

By Alex Cohen Staff Reporter accohen@crimson.ua.edu

The program meshes well with Witt’s overall vision for the future of the University, he said. “We’re trying to combat the negative stereotypes surrounding overcrowding at the University,” Witt said. “Our

weekend. “Of course I want to play in a tiny venue in the deep South,” said Jay-Z, who spoke on the condition of being referred to by every one of his nicknamesatleastoncein

INSIDE

Prominent landmarks get the shaft on page 5

The Machine exposed on page 5

Friday, April 1, 2011

NEWS

The Crimson White

Witt wants 1 million students by 2050 By Wesley Vaughn Capstonian Editor

Despite having recently set a goal of 35,000 students by 2020, President Robert Witt took the direction of the University of Alabama to new heights when he announced his goal of enrolling one million students by the year 2050. Achieving this goal would make the University the largest school of higher education in the world, and Tuscaloosa would become more populated than the entire state of Rhode Island. “Our university is already the flagship university of the state. I believe we can become the flagship university of the entire country,” Witt said at an impromptu press conference on Thursday. The previous goal of 35,000 students by 2020 irked some students who expressed concerns over a campus infrastructure already bursting at its seams and overcrowding

at many campus locations. Enrolling more students would exacerbate these problems, apprehensive students said. Witt attempted to downplay any fears of campus overexpansion. “The facilities on campus and our faculty and staff are more than able to accommodate this growth,” Witt said. “I see no reason for us to even need to build additions anywhere or upgrade anything.” Witt did mention one necessary change. “We will have to raise tuition, of course. But, that’s not a big deal,” Witt said. Attracting such a large number of students to the Capstone would be a challenge in and of itself, but Witt has a proven track record. “Dr. Witt absolutely loves and works well with students,” said Linda Waters, a secretary for Witt. “Mainly prospective students though, because he is such a great recruiter.”

Asked about the changes in the quality of student life with such an enormous increase of enrollees, Witt responded that he did not know much about the subject. “All I know is that it would bring in more diversity and capable minds,” Witt said. “More is always better in my mind. We would address any problems at a later date.” Some students refused to believe Witt’s million-student goal. “Are you serious? That dude must be out of his mind,” freshman Stanley Jordan said. “He obviously has never tried to eat anywhere at noon at this place.” Others tried to find a silver lining in Witt’s goal. “Think of the Friday nights in T-town in 2050,” fifth-year senior Timmy Sanders said. “Princeton Review will have to make us the top party school in the nation once we start having parties with 3,000 people every

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night.” One million students would add a considerable number of part-time residents to the city of Tuscaloosa. The city could benefit in terms of increased tax revenue, but the larger population could strain the city’s foundation and sense of com-

munity. Tuscaloosa Mayor Walt Maddox said he enjoys working alongside Witt, a major asset to the city. “I remember when President Witt first told me he wanted to have 30,000 student at the University,” Maddox said. “I laughed about it, but he went

JAY-Z

Continued from page 1

Students who participated in a preliminary round of the game agreed that it makes the struggle of navigating crowds on a daily basis entirely worth the hassle. “I was already 15 minutes late to my math exam, but spotting that peppermint sweater really made my day,” said Grant Venable, a senior majoring in electrical engineering. “I forgot about my $50 parking ticket from that morning, too. And how I’ve settled for

STUDENT Continued from page 1

him time to read the paper from front to back. “I even read a story about The Crimson White is the community newspaper of The University of Alabama. The Crimson White is an editorially free newspaper produced by students. The University of Alabama cannot influence editorial decisions and editorial opinions are those of the editorial board and do not represent the official opinions of the University. Advertising offices of The Crimson White are on the first floor, Student Publications Building, 923 University Blvd. The advertising mailing address is P.O. Box 2389, Tuscaloosa, AL 35403-2389. The Crimson White (USPS 138020) is published four times weekly when classes are in session during Fall and Spring Semester except for the Monday after Spring Break and the Monday after Thanksgiving, and once a week when school is in session for the summer. Marked calendar provided. The Crimson White is provided for free up to three issues. Any other papers are $1.00. The subscription rate for The Crimson White is $125 per year. Checks should be made payable to The University of Alabama and sent to: The Crimson White Subscription Department, P.O. Box 2389, Tuscaloosa, AL 354032389. The Crimson White is entered as periodical postage at Tuscaloosa, AL 35401. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to The Crimson White, P.O. Box 2389, Tuscaloosa, AL 35403-2389. All material contained herein, except advertising or where indicated otherwise, is Copyright © 2010 by The Crimson White and protected under the “Work Made for Hire” and “Periodical Publication” categories of the U.S. copyright laws. Material herein may not be reprinted without the expressed, written permission of The Crimson White.

Lakeside French fries for my past seven meals. And my utter namelessness.” Jake Smith, a junior in New College, has been recruited as the first real-life Waldo. “When Dr. Witt’s assistant contacted me, I was thrilled,” Smith said. “Finally the fact that no one talks to me is going to get me noticed.” Because of his strenuous duties as Waldo, Smith has received student-athlete status. He hopes to become as much of a symbol on campus as Big Al. “I’ve never been athletic,” he said. “I was told that if I did well, I could be as famous as

Big Al.” So far Waldo has been spotted in a variety of on-campus locations, including the Fresh Food Company and Gorgas Library, and rumors have surfaced that Waldo’s red-andwhite striped shirt has cropped up all over the bar scene as well. “I don’t do so well in big groups of people,” Smith said. “I never thought my talent of being unnoticeable would be so useful. [Overcrowding] has been an issue close to my heart. I’m glad the University is listening at last. My voice is being heard, loud and clear.”

In order to participate in the WALDO program, students who spot Waldo should take a picture and submit it to the Office of Student Affairs. From each week’s submissions, one student will be randomly selected to win a book scholarship, which can only be used at the University Supply Store to purchase books from the “Where’s Waldo?” series. Witt said future plans for the expansion of the WALDO program include the inclusion of Waldo’s archnemesis, Odlaw, who will stalk one random student each week and occasionally battle Waldo in a public venue.

women’s tennis,” Owens said. “I was so bored. I told one of my friends who’s a reporter at the paper that I read the whole thing, and she was so shocked that she immediately called her editor. The story just kind

of grew from there.” The Crimson White publishes four times a week and prints 15,000 copies each day that are distributed across the UA campus and the Tuscaloosa community. No one has ever read

the entire paper, ever. Not even the 8-page ones. After learning about the achievement, editor-in-chief Victor Luckerson and the Office of Student Media, including Director Paul Wright, quickly

2010

2050

on and did it. I don’t doubt for a second that he can get one million.” Witt concluded his announcement with homage to an Alabama icon. “I ain’t never been nothing but a recruiter,” Witt said before leaving the podium.

scheduled immediately before the show. Upon learning the location of the venue, however, Hova canceled the signing. “Alabama has 99 problems,” Hova said. “And literacy is definitely one.” While Jigga’s presence probably won’t coax many Pulitzer Prize winners to Tuscaloosa, other hiphop icons are gravitating toward the new venue. These rappers, mostly from the North, believe shows in the “Dirty South” will help to build street cred. “I feel like a tan could really help my flow,” said Marshall Mathers, a Detroit native. On the other hand, Kanye West has promised to never visit Alabama again. West is displeased that he was not the first rapper asked to play at the new amphitheater. “I’ll let Joe Camel finish,” West said. “But from now on, me and Alabama just gonna be enemies. How could you be so heartless, Tuscaloosa?” Iceberg Slim’s performance will feature a plethora of his most popular songs. Among them are titles such as “Dirt Off Your Shoulders,” “Death of AutoTune” and “On to the Next One.” He will also amend certain songs, making them more appropriate to play in front of the Crimson Tide’s biggest fans. For instance,

Jazzy will perform “Elephant State of Mind” instead of “Empire State of Mind.” While these changes may represent gestures of good will and humor, some have speculated that the rapper is trying to curry favor with Alabama politicians. Local politicians contend that this is not the case. “I don’t care which songs he changes, as long as he plays ‘Big Pimpin’,” said Dr. Robert Bentley, Alabama governor and rap enthusiast. Many University affiliates, including President Robert Witt and football head coach Nick Saban, have announced their intentions to attend the concert. The University’s entire civil engineering department will also be in attendance. “We know Dr. Jazzy has three blueprints,” said Dr. Archie Texture, a visiting engineer from Canada. “We believe these blueprints may change engineering practices forever.” Coach Saban and the football team said they intend to rush the stage when J-Hova plays “Run This Town.” Saban believes running through the crowd of screaming fans will help get his younger players ready for game-time situations. “It’s all part of the process,” Saban said. “Exercises like this can really justify our thug.” S-Dot explained that while he his excited to play at the new amphitheater, which boasts a capacity of roughly 7,500, he’ll be more excited to leave.

put together an impromptu celebration to honor both Owens and The Crimson White. “I’ve been working at the Office of Student Media for six years, and today was the first day we were a real newspaper,” Wright said. “It’s quite an accomplishment, “ Luckerson said in an interview with himself. “I mean, I’ve never even read the paper all the way through, and I kind of have a vested interest, you know? It really was the perfect storm of boredom.” The journalism department is planning to build a graduatelevel class around Owens as a way to analyze how to get young people engaged with print media. “What Ross experienced can really provide us some insight on the direction newspapers should be taking going forward,” journalism professor

Chris Roberts said. “Professors in the department are fighting over who’s going to get to write the book on this research.” Luckerson is even making a last-minute nomination for Owens to receive the Capstone Hero award, which honors faculty, staff and students whose efforts on campus reflect the values within the Capstone Creed. “It really takes a combination of perseverance, courage and patriotism to get through an entire issue of The Crimson White” Luckerson said. “This kid needs a plaque or something.” As a newly cemented expert on The CW, Owens offered its staff some advice. “Do they even read what they publish?” he asked. “In one of those little quote boxes, all it said was ‘This is a sentance.’ Like, ‘sentence’ was spelled wrong. Come on, guys.”

Continued from page 1

WALDO

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The Crimson White

NEWS

Friday, April 1, 2011

Tree missing, aliens may be to blame By Wesley Vaughn Capstonian Editor

CW | Drew Hoover

When asked, University officials declined to comment in depth. One official remarked, “Oh, not them again.” Students were divided over the tree’s disappearance after the report was released. Billy Sumpter, a senior majoring in

GRANT

“Things got crazy in there. When [Medusa] got on the ﬂoor, coach just went into total boss-man mode. I was hiding behind the goal the entire time.”

Continued from page 1

the power of a Greek god. Literally. Grant put his powers on display Thursday, as Medusa, the Greek goddess famous for turning men to stone upon eye contact, made her entrance into Madison Square Garden. Legend has it that Medusa was beheaded by Perseus, who avoided being turned to stone by using her reflection to figure out where she was while not looking directly at her, then decapitated her. As we found out on Thursday, Grant was actually the one to put Medusa in her place. “This one is definitely going in the trophy case,” Grant said. Medusa lurked inside the Wichta State Shocker mascot costume until a timeout midway through the second half, when the mythological beast began its assault on the unsuspecting Tide. What she wasn’t planning on was a legendary stankeye from Grant that turned Medusa into stone, leaving Grant unharmed. “It’s all in the eyebrows,” Grant said. The experience was quite traumatic for freshman starting point guard Trevor Releford.

business, says he believes aliens may have visited Tuscaloosa. “Of course aliens exist. Hell, I hope I get abducted someday instead of some tree,” he said. “Dude, that would be awesome.” Other students were appalled

— Trevor Releford “Things got crazy in there,” Releford said. “When [Medusa] got on the floor, coach just went into total boss-man mode. I was hiding behind the goal the entire time.” The investigation is ongoing as to how Medusa got into Madison Square Garden. The NCAA is investigating Wichita State’s involvement. “I don’t know how she ended up in that costume,” Wichita State head coach Gregg Marshall said. “Nope, nary a clue. It’s not like we have a world-class bioengineering program that might have created the first live medusa in human history. I mean we are Wichita State.” When asked to explain her actions, Medusa declined to comment. Fans were speechless after seeing Medusa fall to Grant, and many children were escorted out of Madison Square Garden for the remainder of the game due to safety concerns. Play stopped for the 10-minute stare down, until medical staff quickly carried Medusa

to find out that some accused aliens of abducting the tree. Laura Sinclair, a sophomore majoring in social work who has never watched “E.T.,” refused to believe the report. “Aliens do not exist. That’s a fact,” she said. “Anyone who

believes that Area 51 is more than just a military base needs to find a life outside their parents’ basement.” Despite ridicule, the group that authored the report is in the process of planning Galactic Relations Week. The week will

consist of events such as charity walks and discussions that will raise awareness and money for galactic life research. “That tree may have survived the Civil War, but it never stood a chance against an alien invasion,” Burstrom said.

off the court. Play resumed after a five-minute warm-up period. Before being completely thwarted, Medusa got her revenge on the Tide when she stared down senior guard

Charvez Davis, causing every one of Davis’ shots to turn to stone. Grant, who may have saved all of humanity through a simple glare, did not blame Medusa for the Tide’s loss.

“Our team has to be focused whether or not there’s deranged monsters on the court,” Grant said. “In the offseason we’re going to focus on developing a stronger defense for such situations.”

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Contrary to previous reports, the Civil War-era tree on the Quad was not removed by the University, according to a group of University scientists. In a recent report, the group tried to prove that aliens abducted the tree over spring break. “Those in the administration wanted to hide the fact that extraterrestrials stole our beloved tree,” said Geoff Burstrom, head professor of galactic life studies at the University. “We value students’ sense of safety too, but we do not value hiding the truth.” Titled “We Told You So, but You Wouldn’t Believe Us,” the report examines the complete disappearance of the tree’s roots and a strange symbol etched in the dirt. Other findings include that the alleged disease inflicting the tree was fabricated. “We believe that some kind of advanced beam from a UFO abducted the tree,” Burstrom said. “The aliens probably wanted the tree for their own examination, and possibly for shade on their home planet. That tree had some great foliage.”

Authorities now believe that aliens, not herbal disease, are responsible for the disappearance of the Quad tree. The Crimson White only just noticed a freaking UFO in this photo that ran on the front page last week.

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OPINIONS

OUR VIEW

It ain’t right that lefts can’t get rights

{

Friday,

C. K. Simpson

April 1, 2011 Editor • Tray Smith letters@cw.ua.edu Page 4

IF CW EDITORS WERE TV CHARACTERS Victor Luckerson, Editor-in-Chief Gerall Johanssen, “Hey Arnold” Jon Reed, Managing Editor – The Count, “Sesame Street” Will Tucker, News Editor – Eric Murphy, “Entourage” Kelsey Stein, Lifestyles Editor – Patti Mayonnaise, “Doug” Tray Smith, Opinions Editor – Nucky Thompson, “Boardwalk Empire” Jason Galloway, Sports Editor – Ryan Seacrest, “American Idol” Adam Greene, Chief Copy Editor – Creed Bratton, “The Ofﬁce” Brian Pohuski, Graphics Editor – Steve, “Blue’s Clues” Daniel Roth, Multimedia Editor – T.J. Detweiler, “Recess” Brandee Easter, Print Production Editor– Velma Dinkley, “Scooby-Doo, Where Are You!” Emily Johnson, Design Editor – Chloe O’Brian, “24” Patty Vaughan, Assistant News Editor – Amanda Bynes, “The Amanda Show” Hannah Mask, Assistant News Editor – Thelma Harper, “Mamma’s Family”

EDITORIAL BOARD Victor Luckerson Hater-in-Chief Jonathan Reed Managing Hater Tray Smith Opinionated Hater Adam Greene Vampire

You fools, I was @TheUAMachine George Orwell once wrote that the primary reason writers decide to write originates with “sheer egoism.” I would c l a i m that the s a m e applies to tweeti n g , because my selfassurance cerBy Wesley Vaughn tainly led me to create the much-discussed @ Th e UA M a c h i n e T w i tt e r account. My ego convinced me of my superior humor, so I created the account last July with no real purpose except for a few laughs and some self-aggrandizing. What resulted surpassed any expectations I had formed before my first tweet. The ever-changing transformation of its reputation and use fascinated me throughout the account’s life. People loved it, then hated it, then secretly loved it again. One girl asked to date it in a tweet – we never ended up meeting. In the beginning, it had to be a GDI tweeting, they said. But after a few months, maybe it was a greek. Maybe it was even the Machine itself. One user tweeted that it definitely was not anyone from The Crimson White, because none of them are witty enough – ouch.

At times, it became more than a one-way, first-person plural satirical account. Students used it in their own ways, and I tried to facilitate them. Many begged for bad weather to cancel classes or good weather on the weekends. When Auburn enjoyed success in football, it served as a counterweight by pointing out Auburn’s (many) flaws with #WeHateAU Week. And of course, it was an online embodiment of all things wrong with campus politics, denoted by #UAdemocracy. At times, it fell under attack as if it was the real Machine, and I refused to disappoint them. I could be vicious, self-deprecating and dry, but I never tried to hurt anyone’s feelings or sway someone’s beliefs. I apologize if I did. Only a few of my close friends knew the account’s real identity. It was awfully hard keeping one of the most followed accounts at the University a secret. Many accused me of operating it, but I lied and tried to lead them astray. Sorry, everyone. No one at The Crimson White knew either, because journalists cannot keep something quiet. We all know they are always out to expose the Machine, right? I decided to stop tweeting on the account for personal reasons. Mainly, I needed to find a life off Twitter. It also became aggravating when students were more enamored with trying to find out who it was rather than enjoying the humor of it. In its memory, I would like to print its humble beginnings as

well as its emotional end and some of the more memorable tweets in between. The first: “If there are any greeks out there who want to be the next SGA president, just let us know, and we will put you up as a potential candidate.” After Auburn won the National Championship: “We are just so proud to watch our little sister school, Auburn, grow up so fast. It seems like only 54 years ago they won their first title.” After the vote for Sunday alcohol sales: “We drank so much natural civic duty light today that we are going to have a horrible democratic hangover in the morning.” The last: “Many have guessed who we may be, but they have all been wrong. The answer is that we are only as powerful as you make us out to be. No matter the results tonight, we are temporarily ending our Twitter dominance. We hope you enjoyed our online reign.” Sent before the results of the SGA presidential election were known, the last two tweets felt necessary, and I hope that their meaning is understood. I also want to thank all of those who tweeted their sadness to see the account go. I am glad that it was all of my doing too… April Fools. Wesley Vaughn is a junior majoring in public relations and political science. His column runs on Wednesdays. For the last time, he is not @TheUAMachine.

“No Money” really runs the Capstone When I first explored the growing divide between old and new money on this p a g e a f ew we e k s ago, I received m a n y emails, c o m m e n t s a n d Facebook messages askBy Tray Smith ing why I left out the vast majority of students who have no money. At first I was astounded that this was even a serious question – of course I left out no money students; they don’t have money. And because a lot of them are majoring in New College, studio art, theater, art history or journalism, like me, they likely never will. However, upon further reflection on the response to “The Great Divide: Old Money vs. New Money,” I have concluded that the no money crowd is in fact trying to exploit that schism and take over campus. Just look at the Board of Trustees. Its newest member, Governor Robert Bentley, doesn’t even make a salary. But it appears that Bentley’s election was only the tip of the

S t at i st i c s recently released In short: 30,000 by the Leftrights make a Handed Student wrong. Association show that there are only 1,342 lefthanded students at Alabama. This pales in comparison to the estimated 11% of the national population that is left-handed. This obvious attempt at discrimination is at least partially our fault. Throughout the year, we have continued to call for the University to do more to promote diversity and inclusiveness on campus. However, we have ignorantly neglected the plight of left-handed students, and we apologize. Now that we have already done everything within our power to ramble about the University’s lack of progress in addressing the needs of other minority groups, we are committed to exposing the injustices that have been committed against left-handed students. (For the point of this article, and in all future reports on this subject, we will refrain from using the slur “lefties.”) Dr. Witt’s recent decision to create the National Left-Handed Merit Scholars program is a great first step. However, while we genuinely want left-handed merit scholars to come to this University, and very much hope to befriend them if they do, we must also take steps to accommodate left-handed people who aren’t national merit material, if you know what we mean – not that there is anything wrong with people who aren’t smart, or even people who aren’t middle class and white. The University needs a nationwide promotional campaign to encourage left-handed people to apply. Also, we need more desks suitable for lefthanded people, because right now, most of them are built to accommodate people most dependent on their right hand. Some of them even contain the very offensive warning sign, “Rights Only.” By opening doors to both left- and right-handed students, we can offer everyone the opportunity to get the college education they deserve, and acquire the skills they will need to succeed later in life. We hope the administration will recognize this, and move to correct this injustice. We just don’t want southpaws to get left out. Alabama wasn’t the first to embrace the Civil Rights Movement, let’s not be late to the Civil Lefts Movement.

iceberg. The no-money takeover, in fact, goes much deeper. Foreign-made luxury cars and Escalades aside, the University has invested a substantial amount of resources to create the CrimsonRide for students who have neither. CrimsonRide = no money. SGA president James Fowler has called for repealing the prohibition on chalking in SGA campaigns, to give candidates a cheaper way to promote themselves during election season. Worse, he has also suggested allowing candidates to take out SGA loans to finance their campaigns. That’s right. Even the DKE SGA president is involved with the no-money plot. In fact, it appears that many rich students are now attempting to hide their wealth, or at least appear sympathetic with their no money peers. Wednesday night, students slept out on the Quad to raise awareness for homelessness and packed meals to help alleviate hunger. The students also watched “The Pursuit of Happyness,” which features multimillionaire Will Smith acting as a homeless man, kind of like them. Who would have ever thought college kids would care about hunger and homelessness? I thought the point of coming to college was never having to worry about either. Wednesday night was also

the deadline for joining College Republicans before their upcoming officer elections. Their dues? Ten dollars. I always thought it cost a lot more than that to be a Republican. Last fall, student seating at football games was even hijacked for the no money cause. Students who can afford to pay a fee and join “The High Tide Club” get reserved seating – in the upper deck. Meanwhile, no money students who arrive early enough get to sit in the lower bowl. While none of the students involved with any of these initiatives has confessed to an organized effort to siphon money and privileges away from wealthy students, a group of students was seen outside of Lakeside dinner last week wearing “No Row” T-shirts. Among the organizations listed were the Quiz Bowl team, College Democrats, Mallet, and, for some reason without our consent, The Crimson White. It is time for old money and new money to come together, and help restore fairness to our campus community by tilting the playing field back in their favor. If they don’t, we could all be walking around without shoes before long. April Fools. Tray Smith is the opinions editor of The Crimson White, wearing a Vineyard Vines shirt, Polo shorts and Sperrys.

Our View is the consensus of four guys who don’t hate your organization as much as you think we do.

LETTER TO THE EDITOR Crimson White lags in diversity By Vincent Oliver Prescott Cleveland IV

After criticizing other student organizations and colleges for their lack of diversity, I am legitimately surprised that no one has yet pointed out the lack of diversity on The Crimson White staff. In no place is this more apparent than the opinions page. In fact, until recently, there were no women and no minorities. Now, there is only one nonwhite columnist. These Crimson Whities pretend to support unity, discussion and diversity, but they practice none of these things themselves. Their backgrounds as privileged whities have undoubtedly clouded their judgment on serious issues. Thus, they write about Wi-Fi, which is only important if you are rich enough to own a computer. They write about parking, which is only important if you are rich enough to own a car. They write about Libya, which is only important if you are rich enough to care about Libya. They even publish letters about maids for Honors dorms. Worse, they call out other students and organizations for ignoring or discriminating against average students and minorities. As if these ten angry white males give a damn. Nevertheless, they are always eager to assert their moral authority and their superiority over their “lessenlightened” peers on campus. In truth, these columnists can never truly understand unity and diversity, because they are white, and male. That is why I, Vincent Oliver Prescott Cleveland IV, feel compelled to stand up against the hypocritical nature of the Crimson White, and demand an opinions staff representative of the entire student body. Though I am also a white male, I do understand the need for inclusiveness. Growing up, I spent a lot of time at the local Country Club during the summer, and the people who maintain the grounds there literally come from all races and backgrounds. I have obviously seen the benefits of inclusiveness, and I believe the CW could benefit too. Its time to end the hypocrisy and diversify the opinions page.

Vincent Oliver Prescott Cleveland IV is a sophomore double majoring in French and Inheritance Management.

The Crimson White

NEWS

Friday, April 1, 2011

UA public erections face stiff scrutiny CW | Teresa Portone

By Will Tucker News Editor

UA administrators believe The Woods quad phallic sculpture has been perverting studentsʼ minds for long enough.

The University plans on continuing its campaign to cleanse campus of explicit images and landmarks, according to University sources. “Many people find several of our historic landmarks just plain offensive,” a university spokesman said in an emailed statement. “Having so many phallic symbols on campus is not consistent with our goal of attracting the best and the brightest,” President Robert Witt said. “The new, more intelligent students will find this type of humor tasteless and beneath them.” In June 2010, the University began its censorship cam-

Tuscaloosa police bust UAPD party By Victor Luckerson Hardest-working man in show business editor@cw.ua.edu

A recent examination of the Tuscaloosa Police Department application process reveals that a desire to bust up awesome parties is a requirement to be part of Tuscaloosa’s finest. A source inside TPD revealed that officers receive bonuses for busting up parties, and the bonuses increase in value based on how epic the party is. “If it’s a small BYOB-type deal, we only get about a hundred bucks,” the source said. “But for a crazy kegger like the ones in ‘Animal House?’ You’re talking 400, 500 bucks. Easy.” The Crimson White was able to obtain a copy of a standard TPD application. It featured questions such as “On a scale of 1 to 10, how much of curmudgeon are you?” and “Do you enjoy crushing people’s happiness?” The source inside TPD said officers usually use Facebook to easily track down parties and collect their bonuses. “These idiot kids are

paign with the removal of the 240-foot-tall smokestack behind B.B. Comer. “I feel so empty without that enormous chimney towering over us all,” Virginia Chastity said. “It made everyone feel so … confident and warm.” Administrative officials say they won’t stop there. “Next on our list is the sculpture on Woods quad,” a university spokeswoman said. “I mean, look at it, and tell me what you think that’s supposed to be.” Some students and faculty, though, disagree with the censorship. “That sculpture is a postmodern abstraction that captures the zeitgeist of the potential for reproduction,” UA art professor Guy Tucci said. “The artist behind it had

a stroke of genius.” “We tried to keep it up, but it just took too much effort,” said Richard Sachs, president of the University’s Students Against Censorship chapter, about the iconic smokestack. Witt, though, said he’ll pay any price to reach his goal of a campus of high-brow, intellectual humor, even if it means annexing 60 acres adjacent to campus just to demolish one building. “That big, white dome on top of the Bryce facility just looks too suggestive. Maybe

that would have been funny when I was, like, 9,” Witt said. “We just have to get rid of it. So what if we had to kick a crucial state mental facility off the property?” Ultimately, Witt said no campus landmark is safe. “We’re building a giant black plywood box to put over Denny Chimes to censor it from every angle,” Witt said. “I’m just tired of looking out my window every morning and seeing a giant penis. We need to ensure we are practicing safe architecture.”

These idiot kids are making public events on Facebook advertising that they’re selling alcohol, then you can just ﬂip through the attending list and count the number of underage students. — Anonymous source making public events on Facebook advertising that they’re selling alcohol, then you can just flip through the attending list and count the number of underage students,” the source said. “It’s like shooting perps in a jail cell.” TPD’s biggest bust ever came just two weeks ago, when they broke up an epic throwdown at the University of Alabama Police Department. The “St. Patty’s Was Made for Natty” kegger at the UAPD station already had more than a hundred guests attending on Facebook when it caught TPD’s eye. “I was definitely surprised UAPD would do something like that,” the TPD officer said. “And without telling us? That’s like throwing a crazy party at your apartment and not inviting your

neighbors.” UAPD officer Joe Friday expressed frustration at the police ending his party right when it was getting good. “‘Black and Yellow’ had just started and everybody was just going insane,” Friday said. “And I’m in the middle of it all, just doing my thing, when suddenly this cop’s walking in shining a light everywhere. I told everybody to pour out their drinks quick, but the keg told the whole story.” As the senior officer present, Friday received a stiff house party citation. He suspects that girls in a nearby sorority house called the cops on him. “It’s just indecent,” he said. “If they would have come by, I would have totally turned it down. Or even invited them. People just need to communicate, man.”

CW investigates itself, uncovers troubling details

The Crimson White has been asked to return one of three national awards for investigative reporting amidst several accusations of the absolute fabrication of its best stories, officials within the newspaper said. The award in question, given for staff reporter Taylor Holland’s story, “Saban a cyborg, runs on Oatmeal Creme Pies,” was awarded in 2009 for what the prize committee called an “unwavering dedication to uncovering truth in stories related to Little Debbie snacks – cream-filled category.” “My biggest regret is that I think we’ve really disappointed several of our most faithful readers,” Editor-in-Chief Victor Luckerson said. “There’s approximately a dozen of them, good people who are genuinely thrilled every day we publish, and they practically live on the news we give them. I know we let them down, and I couldn’t be more apologetic.” Holland’s prize-winning piece first came under investigation during the process of writing another story for The Crimson White, when news editor Will Tucker first began, drafting his tell-all expose that detailed every one of the dark secrets the student newspaper was trying to hide. “I took one look at that story, and I said to myself, something’s wrong here,” Tucker said. “No one can really question that Coach Saban is some-

— Dr. Robert Whitt

Saban, Sheen to host forum on #winning

THE UA MACHINE EXPOSED! A glimpse into the secret organization that has troubled the University with its banality From staff reports

By Stephen Nathaniel Dethrage Staff Reporter sndethrage@crimson.ua.edu

That big, white dome on top of the Bryce facility just looks too suggestive. Maybe that would have been funny when I was, like, 9.

No one can really question that Coach Saban is something other than human, but it didn’t make good sense for a robotic being to run on those Little Debbie snacks. — Will Tucker thing other than human, but it didn’t make good sense for a robotic being to run on those Little Debbie snacks.” Tucker said that the deeper he dug, the more troubling his findings became. “It seemed like everything in the story was completely made up and treated as fact,” Tucker said. “The only real evidence I could find was the original submission of the idea for the story, which was sent to our webpage, and it came from a questionable source whose only given name was ‘Warlock.’” Holland admitted that he probably should have spent more time checking the facts before he submitted the story for publication. “In hindsight, the whole thing was a bit fishy,” Holland said. “But it seemed too good to pass up, and I still find it difficult to accept that anyone would submit an idea for a story in the paper based on anything less than solid fact. “When something like this comes down the wire, all we can think about here is the prizes it can draw for the paper, and for ourselves as reporters, and we get blinded to things we’d more than likely see otherwise. I fell victim to a

trap that is set for all journalists, something we at the paper call Pulitzer Passion. Not to mention I have a pretty onetrack mind when it comes to Little Debbies.” Luckerson said there have been some calls for his resignation, and others for the termination of Holland as a newspaper employee in addition to returning the prize, but says he believes that parting with such a noble addition to the collection of awards piling up in the Office of Student Media is punishment enough. “Let’s face it, people are really exaggerating the severity of this offense,” Luckerson said. “I think it’s bad enough to take away one of the Pulitzers from the trophy cabinet, and Taylor and I will not be leaving this newspaper over a trifling issue like story fabrication. Haters gonna hate, man.” “I’m ready to just wash my hands of the whole thing,” Holland agreed, before trying to do so only over a sink in the OSM, to rediscover that those sinks no longer feature running water. Efforts to reach Coach Saban for comment were routed to his answering machine, which is located somewhere near his android ears.

Editor’s note: All names have been changed to protect sources, for fear of violent reprisal. When “Phil Owen” was a freshman at the University of Alabama six years ago, he came close to indoctrination into the most secret student organization of them all: the Machine. And what he saw shook the normally apathetic college student to his core. “So it’s like this group, right,” said Owen, taking a deep drag from his cigarette. “And it’s made up of representatives from all the various Machineaffiliated fraternities and sororities at the University. So that should tell you something right there.” Asked to expand his meaning, he replied, taking a deep drag from his cigarette, “What I mean is that they’re the most boring people in the world.” Indeed, multiple sources who have recently become disgusted with the banality of the Machine confirmed that, apart from one instance of drunken debauchery last fall after the Crimson Tide football team pulled off a comeback against the University of Arkansas in a nail-biter of a game, the Machine itself mostly just stays in these days, keeping up with its studies and developing a surprising interest in basic cable cooking shows. Apart from 24 minutes in February 2010 in which the Machine was accidentally registered as a sanctioned student organization with The SOURCE, there has never been any official confirmation that the Machine actually existed at the University. “It’s not our policy to confirm or deny any alleged student groups that may or may not exist,” said a SOURCE representative. “And the person who may or may not have put this

possible confirmation on The SOURCE back in February may or may not have been punished by being forced to bring muffins for the whole group, which may or may not exist, for five weeks. [The muffins] may or may not have been delicious.” Owen recounted his weeklong initiation into the Machine, which involved learning the complicated secret handshake, wearing a funny hat to one class (“Everyone has to do it,” said Owen, taking a deep drag from his cigarette, “but it’s not even that funny.”), knitting a scarf and helping an elderly woman cross the street with her groceries. “We had to do all sorts of scary s---, man,” said Owen, taking a deep drag from his cigarette. “I’m not talking about dark rituals or anything, but I mean just gross stuff. Like, we had a night based on the Food Network show ‘Iron Chef.’ Good show. You know, it’s the one where two chefs have to compose a multicourse meal based on one secret ingredient. So we did that at our fraternity house, you know? I mean, how are you supposed to work plantains into five f---ing dishes? I can see working them into two dishes. Maybe three. Your appetizer dish, of course, blended into a salsa and paired with a mild fish in a little amuse bouche. A nice dessert dish, with some caramelized plantains and like a cake with sweet cream. And they potentially taste nice with like a spicy pork entrée. But all five? “They’re monsters, man,” said Owen, taking a deep drag from his cigarette. In past years, the Machine had gained a reputation for controlling SGA elections by using methods of intimidation, and for systematically excluding minority students. “I can’t really comment on minority students being excluded from, like, the Book Club or

Board Game Night,” said Owen, taking a deep drag from his cigarette. “I guess I just assumed none of them wanted to be there. I can’t blame them. And their Risk board is missing a ton of pieces.” Owen also set the record straight regarding the Machine’s reputation for debauchery. “When they drink, it’s only on Fridays – and not even every Friday – and it’s Bud Light,” said Owen, taking a deep drag from his cigarette. “We were at a bar with over 75 beers on draught and we got Bud Light!” Owen recounted a scene at the latest Fall Mixer, held in a large auditorium, in which the male members of the Machine and the female members of the Machine stood on opposite sides of the room, only meeting at the non-alcoholic punch table to briefly and awkwardly make eye contact before scurrying away from one another. “Virgins,” Owen said, taking a deep drag from his cigarette. “And that’s all I’ll say about that.” In closing, Owen was quick to point out that the Machine’s actions, while seemingly innocuous, were in fact as dark and ominous as the student body had always suspected. “No, you can’t let these a--holes be in control!” said Owen, taking a deep drag from his cigarette. “They don’t allow their members to buy any Girl Scout cookies other than shortbread. And Dave Matthews Band – well, you guys already know how they feel about that s---.” The Crimson White reached out to an anonymous current Machine member to get their side of the story. “[Owen’s] representation of the facts are all wrong,” said the Machine representative. “The Machine’s copy of the board game Risk does indeed have all necessary pieces to have a rousing game.”

Friday, April 1, 2011

NEWS

The Crimson White

FOOTBALL

Julio Jones wins Rhodes Scholarship By Marquavius Burnett Sports Reporter msburnett1@crimson.ua.edu

In a stunning upset, wide receiver Julio Jones beat out quarterback Greg McElroy to win the Rhodes Scholarship. No one, including his coaches and teammates knew Jones was applying for the award. It was the teams best-kept secret since the depth charts were hidden during Nick Saban’s spring practice. While receiving the award, Jones was not humble at all. “First off, I would like to thank myself and no one else for all of my success,” Jones said. “I always knew I was the smartest person on the team. Greg [McElroy] didn’t stand a chance. People only thought he was smart because he answered questions like Coach Saban. I dominate my academics just like I dominate Patrick Peterson from LSU on the field every time we play them.” Head coach Nick Saban, who attended the award ceremony, gave his thoughts on Jones’ great honor. “Julio deserved the award,” Saban said. “It was a team effort and it all starts with hard work. Hard work leads to discipline which leads back to more hard work. It’s not about actually winning; it’s really about becoming a winner.” Jones has worked hard to keep his scholarly habits under wraps, so as not to affect his image as a star athlete. After winning the Rhodes, though, he admitted that his favorite novel is “War and Peace”, he

listens to Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony to go to sleep each night, and he turned down a scholarship to MIT to study molecular theory in order to play football for the Tide. McElroy hadn’t lost out on an award since fourth grade when & he misspelled the word pneuWAR E C A E monoultramicroscopicsilicoP volcanokoniosis, mistaking the “k” for a “c.” McElroy took the loss to Jones better than most experts expected him to. “I could not have lost to a more deserving candidate than my teammate Julio Jones,” McElroy said. “Not only is Julio smarter than me and a better athlete, but he is also a better looking guy than I am. All of the sorority girls think he is the best looking guy on the team and he let me know that every day at practice. I am just glad to be able to say I knew the guy.” No one but Jones knew he had more talents than being able to catch a football and stiff arm defensive backs. Jones says this is not the last stop on his academic journey. He has big plans that go way beyond football and even hinted at making a stop at the White House. “Now that I am a Rhodes Scholar, I plan to expand my horizons,” Jones said. “I am going to write a book about how much better I am than everyone else in the world. I am also going to medical school to become a doctor. I may even run for president or become the king of a small island nation. It’s time for me to take over the world.” Jones catches up on some light reading during the game.

QUIDDITCH

Lockout brings Quidditch stars back to Capstone By Brett Hudson Contributing Writer Ladies and gentlemen, let the grieving end. Yes, Mark Ingram, Marcell Dareus and Julio Jones all thought it best to leave the Capstone early to pursue a National Football League career. But the threat of a season-ending lockout has convinced them to re-enroll at the University to play out the rest of their Quidditch eligibility. “I know without a doubt that I’m the best Seeker in the world,” Jones said. “And now I go back to work to show up that arrogant Harry Potter kid. He’s worse than Cam Newton.” Ingram’s return adds to an already excellent Chaser crew. Backed up with a world-class Beater Dareus, the trio may have the formula for a national championship. “Go ahead and pick Alabama for the Quidditch World Cup in your bracket next year,” head coach Nick Saban said. This year’s Alabama team is even getting praise from archrivals. “I hate to admit it, but those guys are looking really strong right now,” Auburn’s head coach, Lord Voldemort, said. “It seems like they’re an unstop-

Marcell Dareus celebrates afetr defeating Slytherin in the Iron Cup

QUIDDITCH STARTING ROSTER • Seeker: Julio Jones • Beater: Marcell Dareus • Beater: Dont’a Hightower

• Chaser: Trent Richardson

• Chaser: Robert Lester • Keeper: Greg McElroy

• Chaser: Mark Ingram pable force and showing no signs of slowing down. I would be very surprised if we ever beat Alabama again.” Auburn is facing its own problems after a Chaser-turnedSnitch for the team reported that boosters paid him galleons to stay at the program. Alabama’s success has been felt with off-the-pitch matters, as well. Not only is the Tide’s success keeping players from leaving early, but also it’s bringing in world-class talent. Cyrus Kouandjio, the best Beater prospect in the state of Maryland and second in the nation, according to quidditchworld.net, shocked the world with his commitment change to Alabama after previously committing to the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. At his National Signing Day press conference, Kouandjio had very high remarks for the

Hogwarts Owls. “I will be playing Quidditch next year at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for many reasons,” Kouandjio said. “The Charms Department is top-notch, I really love the campus and the facilities are some of the best in the nation.” But, after waiting endlessly for the delivery owl with Kouandjio’s script of intent, Hogwarts was left empty-handed as Kouandjio reconsidered his decision. “In the end, I just couldn’t pass up on the Tide,” Kouandjio said. “Coach Saban is basically what every other coach in the world sees when he looks into the Mirror of Erised.” The Tide looks forward to defending its back-to-back-toback national championships and its record 96-match winning streak against Hufflepuff College today on the Rec Fields.

UA Gymnasts

^^ Apply: jointhecw.wordpress.com

EHNN T T © FNIgKILgJMEG

Deadline: April 1

Contact: Victor Luckerson (vic.luckerson@gmail.com) for more information

SPORTS

Men’s golf wins without Bobby Wyatt

Friday, April 1, 2011

Literary magazine to premiere Monday

LIFESTYLES

Serving the University of Alabama since 1894

Vol. 117, Issue 106

Alabama honors new Capstone Heroes By Katherine Martin Staff Reporter klmartin@crimson.ua.edu Several University of Alabama students and two student organizations were honored as Capstone Heroes Thursday afternoon in Carmichael Hall. The Capstone Heroes award was designed to recognize UA students, faculty, staff, student organizations and members of the community whose contri-

butions to life at the Capstone reflect the values within the Capstone Creed, said Joshua Burford, coordinator of student development programming. “I think, for me, being a Capstone Hero means two things,” Burford said. “The first is a person who goes above and beyond the normal activities at the University and the second is people whose work goes for the most part unrecognized on campus because they’re not

looking to win awards.” Twelve students from different parts of campus were recognized at Thursday’s ceremony, Burford said. “The nice thing about the Capstone Heroes award is that there are fewer strict criteria, making it a lot more flexible for nominations and winners,” he said. Since this year is the last year Capstone Creed Week will be celebrated, Burford said, the ceremony will act as a

By Laura Owens Senior Sports Reporter lkowens@crimson.ua.edu NEW YORK | In its second appearance in the NIT championship game, the Alabama Crimson Tide lost to the Wichita State Shockers 66-57 Thursday night in Madison Square Garden. The loss gives Alabama a final record of 25-12 in 2010-2011, while the Shockers improve to 29-8, taking the NIT Championship back to Kansas with them. “I think the stat sheet really tells the story in terms of how the game was played,” said head coach Anthony Grant. “They were the better team today, so we give them credit, but at the same time it takes nothing away from our young men and what we accomplished over the course of the season.” The biggest difference-maker in the game was Wichita State’s ability to make 3-pointers. Alabama went 2-for-14 behind the arc, while the Shockers hit 7-of-15. Alabama wasn’t much better shooting from the field for the game, only making 38 percent of field goals. The Shockers hit 50 percent of their field goals for the game. “I think we just had mental breakdowns, letting them hit threes,” freshman Trevor Releford said. “That’s a game changer right there when you can hit threes.” Sophomore Tony Mitchell was the leading scorer for the Tide, with 13 points. Junior JaMychal Green, who got in foul trouble and only played 25 minutes, was second on the team with 12. Green and Releford were voted to the NIT All-Tournament Team along with Alec Burks from Colorado and Garrett Stutz from Wichita State. Throughout the second half, Alabama’s frustration became apparent as the team picked up five fouls within the span of roughly five minutes. Green AP and Hillman each picked up Freshman forward Charles Hankerson guards a Wichita State defender during the Tide’s 66-57 loss to the Shockers in Thursday night’s NIT Championship Game.

See TIDE, page 3

Chariot Race on Strip takes off Saturday College students from across the state will travel to Tuscaloosa to vie in Alabama’s inaugural Red Bull Chariot Race. University Boulevard between Wallace Wade Avenue and 12th Avenue will be blocked off Saturday, allotting a race area. The weekend proceedings will le this

• er

Please

P.O. Box 870170 Tuscaloosa, AL 35487 Newsroom: 348-6144 | Fax: 348-8036 | Advertising: 348-7845 | Classifieds: 348-7355 Letters, op-eds: letters@cw.ua.edu Press releases, announcements: news@cw.ua.edu

Journalists discuss Civil Rights era cold cases By Amanda Sams Senior Staff Reporter alsams1@crimson.ua.edu

Forty years later, reporters from many newspapers are banding together in a movement to prosecute the murderers who were wrongly acquitted during the Civil Rights era and continue to walk among us. So far, 24 convictions have been made as reporters turn back the hands of time and reopen “cold cases” for reevaluation. John Fleming with The Anniston Star, Jerry Mitchell with The Clarion Ledger, and Stanley Nelson with The Concordia Sentinel spoke to journalism students Thursday evening about the work involved in investigating a cold case. “I don’t catch ’em, I just fry ’em,” Mitchell said. “It’s like working two jobs, but the reward that comes from helping the victims’ families find answers is worth it.” The reporters explained that with cutbacks at newspapers, cold case work is tacked onto their daily reporting, meaning lots of late hours and overtime. “These stories are important for the world to know, and they might never be told otherwise,” Nelson said. “Reconciliation for families and communities is the ultimate goal.” Fleming told the story of a case he recently got to the bottom of involving Frank Morris, a black shoe shop owner in Ferriday, La., who was killed in 1964. “Frank Morris’s shop was set on fire one night when he was inside it,” Fleming said. “He ran outside completely in flames. His head was on fire, and his skin was falling off. He suffered third-degree burns over 100 percent of his body. The emergency room nurse said he smelled of gasoline.” Morris died in the hospital four days later. “He was basically a good, hard-working man who sold shoes,” Fleming said. “He did not deserve to be set on fire like that.” Fleming worked with dedication to solve this “unsolvable” mystery, writing 150 stories about the case, in spite of obstacles such as time constraints, incomplete FBI information and the implications that go with reopening a case involving the Ku Klux Klan. “You cannot do this for the money or because someone tells you to,” Fleming said. “You have to do it because of something inside of you. I want to root out the people who commit these kinds of acts because they live among us, as far as we know.”

See RIGHTS, page 3

IF YOU GO ...

INSIDE today’s paper

er •

Plea s

yc rec

kick off tonight at Rounders on The Strip with a pre-party. Race day, people’s choice voting will open at 2:30 p.m. Saturday. • What: Red Bull Chariot • When: Saturday at 3:30 The competition will begin at Race p.m. 3:30 p.m. An after-party will be held at Gallettes. • Where: The Strip Participants are encouraged to allow their creativity domiPrior to the launch of the race, to perform a skit to prepare their nate the design of their chariot. However, participants are not teams of three members will find audience. allowed to design a chariot with a motivation from their preferred theme song. They are also invited See RACE, page 2 motor.

CW | Katie Bennett

See HEROES, page 2

NIT Finals: Shock and ‘Aww’

By Jennie Kushner Senior Staff Reporter Jfkushner@bama.ua.edu

Junior Jack Heﬂin was honored as a Capstone Hero Thursday at Carmicheal Hall.

kickoff for next year when the entire year will be about following the Creed. “We’re going to take the Creed out of the week and into the year,” Burford said. Shea Mason, a senior majoring in management, said she was surprised to hear she had been nominated and chosen as a winner of the Capstone Heroes award. “It’s nice to know that people

Briefs ........................2

Puzzles......................5

Lifestyles....................4

Classifieds .................5 Sports .......................6

CORRECTION In the March 30 edition of The Crimson White, Olivia Hunnicutt, vice president of the Panhellenic Council, was inaccurately quoted as saying Greek Week’s community service hours totaled 200,000. In actuality, the number was 2,000. The Crimson White regrets the error and is happy to set the record straight.

WEATHER today Partly cloudy

65º/49º

Saturday Clear

83º/65º

ycle

this pa

ON THE GO Page 2• Friday, April 1, 2011

ON THE MENU LAKESIDE Lunch Chicken Marsala Herb Roasted Red Potatoes Green Beans Chicken & Okra Gumbo Vegan Grilled BBQ Tofu (vegetarian) Dinner Rotisserie Chicken Fresh Mashed Potatoes Old bay Corn On the Cob Sautee Squash Black Bean Burger over greens (Vegetarian)

BURKE

BRYANT

ADVERTISING

• Drew Gunn, Advertising Coordinator, 348-8044 • Hallett Ogburn, Territory Manager, 348-2598 • Emily Frost, National Advertising/Classifieds, 3488042 • Jessica West, Zone 3, 348-8735 • Courtney Ginzig, Zone 4, 3488054 • Robert Clark, Zone 5, 348-2670 • Emily Richards, Zone 6, 3486876 • Amy Ramsey, Zone 7, 3488742 • Brittany Key, Zone 8, 348-8054 • Nikki Amthor, Zone 44, 3486153 • Will DeShazo, Zone 55, 3488041 • Kelly Sturwold, Creative Services Manager, 348-8042

HEROES Continued from page 1

are recognized on campus for being a well-rounded member of the Capstone,” Mason said. Mason said her contributions and dedication to The SOURCE and her role as director of student engagement allowed for her recognition. Mike Zhang, a junior majoring in biology, said he was also surprised to find he was a winner. During his time at the University, Zhang started a mentoring program for elementary school students at Holt Elementary in Tuscaloosa, teaching them

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

What: Student Recital fea-

What: JCC Sanders Lecture

What: Dog Training: Basic

Series featuring Joseph G. Dawson III, Professor of History at Texas A & M; Craig Symonds, Professor Emeritus at the United States Naval Academy; and Steven E. Woodworth, Professor of History at TCU. Please make reservations by emailing caverett@ua.edu or calling 348-7551.

Where: The Park at

turing Collin Webster, piano

Where: Recital Hall, Moody Music Building

When: 5:30 p.m.

What: Alabama Greece Initiative - Greece and Global Culture Symposium Library

When: 9 a.m. - 1 p.m. What: Freshman Forum Track 3 book drive Where: Donation table

Baked Tilapia Beef Stew Hush Puppies Cauliflower Vegetarian Fajitas

will be located on 2nd ﬂoor, Ferguson Student Center

Where: Grand Galley, Smith Hall

When: 10 a.m. - 2 p.m. What: Student Recital fea-

CAMPUS CRIME: (March 12 to March 23)

Compiled by Anna Kate Delevan

ASSAULT III Time: 2:53 a.m. Date: March 25 Location: Fraternity Lane at 4th Street East

CRIMINAL MISCHIEF III Time: 9:24 a.m. Date: March 25 Location: 800 Block of 2nd Street

THEFT OF PROPERTY III Time: 2:40 p.m. Date: March 25 Location: 400 Block of 5th Avenue East

THEFT OF PROPERTY III Time: 6:39 p.m. Date: March 25 Location: 400 Block of 5th Avenue East

THEFT OF PROPERTY II Time: 9:05 p.m. Date: March 25 Location: 400 Block of 5th Avenue East

about the scientific method and the importance of technology. Zhang has also worked as an undergraduate researcher studying Parkinson’s disease. “What’s unique about this award is that it’s not one you can apply for,” Zhang said. “You are nominated by someone who recognizes your work, which is a big honor.” Hayley Strong, a senior majoring in marketing and advertising and SGA chief justice, said winning the award is definitely an honor. “I feel like the Judicial Branch of the SGA are the real Capstone Heroes,” Strong said. “They’ve put so

Manderson Landing

When: 1 - 2:30 p.m. What: Trombone Choir Where: Moody Concert Hall

When: 6 p.m. What: Student Recital

Where: Moody Recital Hall When: 8 p.m.

Where: Moody Concert

When: 10 a.m. - 3 p.m.

featuring Anthony Carlson, euphonium Hall

When: 8 p.m.

Grilled Catfish Dirty Rice Corn on the Cob Southern Green Beans Backed Macaroni and cheese and tomatoes (Vegetarian)

CW application deadline is today

Obediance - Teach your dog to Sit, Stay, Down, Heel, and Come using positive reinforcement! Cost is $20 per student.

turing Joe Ortiguera, violin

FRESH FOOD

The Crimson White is seeking staffers for the 2011-12 academ• Victor Luckerson, editor-in-chief, ic year. The CW offers opporeditor@cw.ua.edu tunities for staffers to learn • Jonathan Reed, managing about the campus around them editor, jonathanreedcw@gmail.com and develop as writers, pho• Brandee Easter, print production tographers, designers, videogeditor raphers, social media practi• Will Tucker, news editor, tioners or web developers. The newsdesk@cw.ua.edu CW will have a renewed focus • Kelsey Stein, lifestyles editor on staff development next year, • Jason Galloway, sports editor with a formal shadowing pro• Tray Smith, opinions editor gram to integrate new report• Adam Greene, chief copy editor

• Dana Andrzejewski, Advertising Manager, 348-8995, cwadmanager@gmail.com

TODAY

Where: 205 Gorgas

Citrus Spiced Tilapia Western Omelet Steak Fried Steamed Broccoli Teriyaki Vegan Broccoli (vegetarian)

EDITORIAL

• Emily Johnson, design editor • Brian Pohuski, graphics editor • Drew Hoover, photo editor • Brian Connell, web editor • Daniel Roth, multimedia editor • Marion Steinberg, community manager, outreach@cw.ua.edu

ON THE CALENDAR

Submit your events to calendar@cw.ua.edu

ON CAMPUS ers into the workflow, more consistent workshops and Story of the Week awards. The CW accept staffers of all skill levels. The only requirement is the desire to work hard and learn in a hands-on environment. No minimum skill levels are required. All majors can apply. For more information, visit http://jointhecw.wordpress.com or contact editor-inchief Victor Luckerson at editor@cw.ua.edu.

IDENTITY THEFT I Time: 8:49 p.m. Date: March 25 Location: 500 Block of Bryce Lawn Drive

HARASSING COMMUNICATION Time: 12:10 a.m. Date: March 26 Location: 300 Block of 5th Avenue East

ILLEGAL POSSESSION/ USE OF CREDIT/DEBIT CARD Time: 5:25 p.m. Date: March 26 Location: 100 Block of Hackberry Lane

BURGLARY II Time: 4:47 a.m. Date: March 27 Location: 400 Block of 7th Avenue Northeast

BURGLARY III Time: 1:28 p.m. Date: March 27 Location: 1000 Block of 3rd Street

BURGLARY II Time: 5:07 p.m. much into working with the students on campus to promote the Code of Student Conduct and making good decisions and it’s been a privilege to work with them.” Michael Wynn, a senior majoring in communication studies, said giving back to UA students and seeing that their lives are enhanced by being involved on campus has allowed him to be recognized as a Capstone Hero. “It’s humbling because there are so many people on campus who do great work and do great things, and to be honored and counted among them is an honor because you kind of feel undeserving,” Wynn said.

Nominations being accepted for educator award Students who will graduate in May can nominate a teacher from their high school for the Capstone Inspiring Educator award. The award goes to high school teachers from across the country who inspired UA students to achieve their goals. Winners will be recognized during spring commencement. Nominations are due by April Date: March 27 Location: 900 Block of 2nd Street

THEFT OF PROPERTY III Time: 10:26 p.m. Date: March 27 Location: 400 Block of 5th Avenue East

THEFT OF PROPERTY III Time: 11:19 p.m. Date: March 27 Location: 400 Block of 5th Avenue East

THEFT OF PROPERTY III Time: 12:15 a.m. Date: March 28 Location: 400 Block of 5th Avenue East

THEFT OF PROPERTY III/ CRIMINAL MISCHIEF II Time: 8:22 a.m. Date: March 28 Location: 600 Block of Abercrombie Lane

CRIMINAL MISCHIEF II Time: 12:57 p.m. Date: March 28 Location: 300 Block of Stadium Drive

RACE

Continued from page 1

Alex McCallum, a senior majoring in business, is a member of the team “Step Brothers,” based on the Will Ferrell movie. McCallum and his two team members chose the song “Boats N’ Hoes” from the movie as their theme. He and his comrades plan on dressing accordingly as Ferrell and his stepbrother, played by John C. Reilly. “It’s my favorite movie, and the song was great for our skit,” McCallum said. McCallum plans on constructining his chariot to resemble the boat in the movie.

1. Applications are available at inspiringteacher.ua.edu. For more information, contact Janet Griffith at 348-8314.

Freshman Forum Hosts Book Drive

Freshman Forum’s Track 3 will be hosting a book drive UA professor this week. Students are appointed as encouraged to donate new or gently-used books (preferably society president Elementary-Level) any time Garry W. Warren, professor during that week between of metallurgical and materials 10 a.m. and 3pm. All donated engineering at The University books will be donated to an of Alabama, has been named elementary school in the local president of TMS, The Tuscaloosa area. Minerals, Metals and Materials Society.

THEFT OF PROPERTY III Time: 12:52 p.m. Date: March 28 Location: 700 Block of Capstone Drive

THEFT OF PROPERTY II Time: 11:43 p.m. Date: March 28 Location: 400 Block of 5th Avenue East

CRIMINAL MISCHIEF III Time: 12:36 p.m. Date: March 29 Location: 900 Block of 2nd Street

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE/RECKLESS ENDANGERMENT Time: 8:16 p.m. Date: March 29 Location: 800 Block of University Boulevard

THEFT OF PROPERTY II Time: 11:32 a.m. Date: March 30 Location: 400 Block of Hackberry Lane

BURGLARY III

Location: 100 Block of Hackberry Lane

CRIMINAL TRESPASSING I Time: 5:19 p.m. Date: March 30 Location: 100 Block of Hackberry Lane

HARASSMENT Time: 7:50 p.m. Date: March 30 Location: 500 Block of Devotie Drive

CRIMINAL TAMPERING II Time: 9:51 p.m. Date: March 30 Location: 900 Block of 2nd Street

PUBLIC INTOXICATION Time: 2:30 a.m. Date: March 31 Location: 900 Block of 2nd Street

PUBLIC INTOXICATION Time: 4:14 a.m. Date: March 31 Location: 1100 Block of University Boulevard

Time: 4:07 p.m. Date: March 30

“The bottom part is going to be two-by-four boards, and we are going to try and get the wheels from a wheelchair or bike tires,” McCallum said. “We are also going to bring water guns to distract the other teams.” Stephanie Adcox, a junior majoring in accounting, plans on attending the event. “I think this sounds like so much fun – it will definitely be an unusual Saturday in Tuscaloosa,” Adcox said. “I wish I was creative enough to construct a chariot so I could be in the race, but I just don’t think that I could create a structure that would be strong enough to hold up several people.” Baley Bodden, a sophomore

majoring in marketing and entrepreneurship, is the team captain of the “Rum Runners.” “We plan on doing a tropical theme,” she said. “We are going to wear Hawaiian shirts and hopefully build our chariot accordingly.” Bodden said she has worked with many Red Bull events on campus and is looking forward to this weekend. “I have done a lot of stuff with Red Bull in the past, but having the first Chariot Race in the state is going to be huge. I am excited about everything,” Bodden said. “I can’t wait to see what the other teams come up with, and actually racing the chariot is going to be so much fun.”

The Crimson White

NEWS

Friday, April 1, 2011

SGA Vice Presidents Quad sleep out attracts hundreds of volunteers recount past year By Stephen Walker Contributing Writer

By Brett Saunders Contributing Writer The term for the current elected officials in the Student Government is coming to an end, and the time to reflect and look back on what was and was not accomplished has come. Stephen Swinson, vice president of student affairs, and Nicole Bohannon, executive vice president, both said they experienced achievements and setbacs while in office. As Swinson leaves office, he said he feels that the overall goal for his term was to reach students. “My main goal was to reach out to the students who are forgotten by UA,” said Swinson. “We wanted to help students with children and handicaps and those who had financial needs.” Swinson and his committee were able to make a map for students with handicaps that showcased entrances ramps and other access points, he said.

RIGHTS Continued from page 1

“In almost all of these cases that have been re-prosecuted to find justice, the press has done the initial investigation,” said Mitchell. “I thought it was really interesting how the press is investigating these cases,” said Molly Gamble, a sophomore majoring in public relations. “It is important to know about history and learn from it so you don’t make the same mistakes. It is also important to find justice for those who were wronged.” “The press in the South failed for the most part during the Civil Rights era,” Nelson said. “Many of these people have a yearning

TIDE

Continued from page 1

their fourth personal fouls within 20 seconds of each other, and both had to take a seat. Mitchell also picked up a fourth foul late in the game. Alabama’s first half was a sloppy one, in which the Tide committed eight turnovers, which Wichita State converted into nine points. Alabama was able to force 10 Shocker turnovers but only turned those into nine points. “We kind of hurt ourselves in the first half,” Grant said. “We had opportunities in transition or where we forced a turnover

For students who had financial problems but wanted to get a job, Swinson pointed to a program created this year called the Business Attire program, which allows students who did not have the right amount of funds to rent a suit for a business interview. “I feel that one of our biggest accomplishments was the redesign of the football ticket system and the seating. We created the penalty system so more students had a chance to go to games,” Swinson said. The biggest setback Swinson felt was the amount of money he and his committee were able to raise for scholarships. “We could have raised a little more money,” Swinson said. The SGA raised $8,600 dollars in scholarships, $4,300 going to the Student Government Association and $4,300 going to student organizations. “My goal for this year was to make the Student Senate more open and available to the students who needed then,”

Bohannon said. Bohannon said this was one of the first times that SGA college forums were around for students to talk to the officials and hear about important news going on. “This year we paired senators with student organizations to help with communication and to also help with funding for the organizations,” Bohannon said. “We also implemented Meet your Senator Day, which allowed students to find out who would be representing them.” During the current term, the depletion of FAC funds left many student organizations unable to participate in certain events and gain necessary items for their organizations. “Although this was a setback, it was a good setback,” Bohannon said. “We now see that student organizations need more funding and we are lobbying with the administration to create more funding for these organizations.”

to tell their story, and you’d be surprised by how many people are willing to talk to you.” Getting interviews with the Klansmen and dealing with death threats can be a difficult aspect of reporting on cold cases. “Obviously, being a white, Southern male helps me when I am interviewing Klansmen,” said Mitchell, who has put four behind bars. After he interviewed Byron de la Beckwith (the man charged with shooting Medgar Evers), Beckwith insisted on walking the reporter out to his car. “If you write positive things about white Caucasian Christians, God will bless you,” Beckwith told him. “If you write negative things about white Caucasian Christians, God will

punish you. If God does not punish you directly, several individuals will do it for him.” “I wanted students to realize that race relations in the United States were not pretty before they were born,” said Chris Roberts, assistant professor of journalism and an organizer of the presentation. “Perpetrators are still walking the streets, and these guys are about justice. It was incredible to have these three MacArthur geniuses in the same room.” These reporters believe uncovering the truth outweighs the negative feedback they sometimes receive. “I think it’s the most rewarding thing I could do in my life because it makes such a difference,” Fleming said.

and we couldn’t complete plays. We were somewhat anxious from an offensive standpoint, got out of character, did some things offensively that hurt ourselves and allowed them easy baskets. So we had some breakdowns from that standpoint.” Wichita State led by three at halftime, 37-34. Throughout the half, the lead changed seven times, and the game was tied four times. Alabama’s big three scorers, Green, Mitchell and Releford, combined to make up 27 of the Tide’s 34 points. In the first half at the free throw line, both teams were 100 percent, but Alabama only shot five free throws, whereas the Shockers had nine. Both teams

shot 50 percent from the field too, with the Tide going 14-for28, while the Shockers went 13-for-26. Though the season didn’t end in a championship, Grant said that didn’t take away from what the team was able to accomplish this season. “We grew, and we learned over the course of the year, and as a basketball team, we got better,” Grant said. “As a coach, that’s really what you want to be able to do. We had some things this year that we had to overcome. A lot of it was ourselves. I think over the course of the year, I was able to grow as a coach, and I think our players grew.”

On Wednesday night, a group of UA students spent the night on the Quad to raise awareness for hunger and homelessness. The event was called “Sleep Out on the Quad,” and in spite of temperatures that dipped below 48 degrees, it still saw a large group of volunteers. “We had about 150 volunteers show up for the event,” said Charlotte Brown, a junior majoring in marketing and management, who coordinated the event. “The cold weather may have had some effect, but we had a great turnout.” The volunteers began by packaging meals for Stop Hunger Now, an international agency that coordinates food distribution to children and families in countries around the world. Due to cold weather, the packaging of meals for was moved inside Lloyd Hall.

“We had a great crowd show up to help package the meals,” she said. “Normally it takes two hours to put 10,000 meals together, but we were able to do it in much shorter time because of all the people that came to help.” Following the meal packaging, a giant screen was rolled out onto the Quad so those who attended the event could watch “The Pursuit of Happyness.” The movie, starring Will Smith, tells the story of a homeless man’s struggle to rise out of poverty while raising a son and, at many times, being homeless. Later, a group of volunteers removed their shoes and socks and took a barefoot stroll around the Quad. “At midnight, about 25 people participated in the TOMS ‘A Walk Without Shoes,’” she said. “We walked without shoes to raise awareness of poverty to show what a difference one pair of shoes can make.”

While a relatively large number of volunteers participated, it was not easy to do. “Trust me, it was very cold,” Brown said. After the night’s events were concluded, about 50 students rolled out their sleeping bags or pitched their tents on the quad and spent the night to raise awareness for homelessness. Volunteers who stayed the night braved a low temperature of 48 degrees and a significant chance of rain, according to The Weather Channel. Sleeping on the hard ground gave the volunteers a chance to feel what it is like to be homeless. “My back is definitely sore today,” Brown said. While it was uncomfortable spending the night with little more than a few inches of fabric between them and the dirt, the volunteers accomplished what they set out to do. “The event was a great success,” she said.

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LIFESTYLES

DewPoint to debut this Monday

Page 4 â&#x20AC;˘ Friday, April 1, 2011 Editor â&#x20AC;˘ Kelsey Stein kmstein@crimson.ua.edu

By Hannah Marcum Contributing Writer

English honor society Sigma Tau Delta is presenting the inaugural issue of their literary journal, DewPoint, at a release party Monday night. The event will begin at 5:30 p.m. on Woods quad, and will feature readings from creative writing professor Michael Martone and several students whose work was accepted into DewPoint. In case of rain, the event will be held in Room 301 in Morgan Hall. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We are very grateful to have Michael Martone supporting us by beginning our release party with a reading,â&#x20AC;? said Meg Brandl, poetry editor for DewPoint and secretary of Sigma Tau Delta. Brandl said DewPoint is different from most literary magazines in that it publishes creative and critical work. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We really wanted to showcase all kinds of fantastic writing that UA students do, and in addition to creative work, the critical papers that students work so hard on for their English classes,â&#x20AC;? Brandl said. She said the DewPoint staff is eager to debut the magazine, and the reading will be a picnic-style event, with audience members encouraged to bring a blanket or lawn chair, and with light refreshments provided. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been our baby all year

IF YOU GO ... â&#x20AC;˘ What: DewPoint release party â&#x20AC;˘ Where: Woods quad â&#x20AC;˘ When: Monday at 5:30 p.m.

â&#x20AC;˘ Cost: Copies of DewPoint will be on sale for $10

Bass said DewPoint is always looking for works of poetry, prose and critical papers and accepts manuscripts year round at uadewpoint@gmail. com. â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Meg Brandl, poetry editor of DewPoint â&#x20AC;&#x153;Our staff is also everexpanding and if you are interin DewPoint. opportunities to purchase ested in joining the staff, or â&#x20AC;&#x153;DewPoint will be on sale them throughout the week Sigma Tau Delta, you should for the first time at the release with tables set up both in the swing by the release party on party,â&#x20AC;? she said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Copies will lobby of Morgan Hall and in the Monday at Woods quad from be $10, and there will be other Ferguson Center.â&#x20AC;? 5:30 to 8,â&#x20AC;? Bass said.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;We really wanted to showcase all kinds of fantastic writing that UA students do, and in addition to creative work, the critical papers that students work so hard on for their English classes.â&#x20AC;?

and we really want to see it succeed,â&#x20AC;? she said. Martone, who will be reading at the release, said it is exciting to see the energy of writers on campus. â&#x20AC;&#x153;It is even more exciting to have a venue where that creative spirit is recorded,â&#x20AC;? he said. Martone said he will most likely read a selection from a collection of stories that he has coming out in the fall. â&#x20AC;&#x153;It is called â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Four for a Quarterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; and it is made up of stories based on fours â&#x20AC;&#x201C; the four winds, the four directions, the four chambers of the heart, the four seasons, the four horsemen, the four elements, the four questions,â&#x20AC;? he said. Mia Bass, submissions editor of DewPoint and vice president of Sigma Tau Delta, said that, in addition to Martone, they hope to have numerous other undergraduate readers on Monday, out of the 37 who were featured

LIFESTYLESin brief Comedian latest act announced for amphitheater Comedian Jeff Dunham is the most recent act announced to perform at the Tuscaloosa Amphitheater. The standup ventriloquist will perform July 8 at 8 p.m. Tickets will go on sale at 10 a.m. on April 29 on ticketmaster.com, at the amphitheater box office

and by phone at 1-800-745-3000. Dunhamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s show is part of his 100-city tour called â&#x20AC;&#x153;Identity Crisis,â&#x20AC;? in which he will perform entirely new material with his creations, a cast of puppets that includes Walter the Grumpy Retiree and the redneck Bubba J.

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Dear UA, We pledge to go barefoot on Tuesday, April 5th so that others do not have to. Please join me to make a change while participating in barefoot activities on the Quad and the Ferg Plaza on this day. Peace. Love. TOMS! UA TOMS

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Todayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Birthday (04/01/11). Adventure lies ahead. Brace yourself for the time of your life, for discovering uncharted territory. New doors open up. Step in boldly, and let the wind carry you forward. Buy only what you need today. To get the advantage, check the dayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s rating: 10 is the easiest day, 0 the most challenging. Aries (March 21-April 19) -- Today is a 6 -- Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t take yourself or others too seriously today. Not only is it April Foolsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Day, but the moon is in your twelfth house, and thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a tendency to overthink everything. Taurus (April 20-May 20) -- Today is a 7 -- You may find yourself moderating a clash between normally gentle souls. Maybe a joke backfires. Remind them of their friendship. Avoid risks today, and celebrate foolishness. Gemini (May 21-June 21) -- Today is a 7 -- Who do you want to be? What role (and what costume) do you most want to wear? Who would you most like to impact? Daydream it, and then notice any roadblocks. Cancer (June 22-July 22) -- Today is a 7 -- All of a sudden, everything looks possible ... and it is. An adventure is calling. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t take off before the job is complete. Plan the trip well to avoid complications. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) -- Today is an 8 -- Visualize a future that really lights you up. First, choose an exciting game (without gambling). Instead, invest in a direction that helps people. Save up for it.

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SPORTS

MENâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S GOLF

Alabama wins without Wyatt

Page 6 â&#x20AC;˘ Friday, April 1, 2011 Editor â&#x20AC;˘ Jason Galloway crimsonwhitesports@ gmail.com

SPORTS

this weekend FRIDAY â&#x20AC;˘ Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Tennis vs Arkansas: 3 p.m. â&#x20AC;˘ Baseball vs Arkansas: 6:35 p.m.

SATURDAY â&#x20AC;˘ Baseball vs Arkansas: 2:05 p.m. â&#x20AC;˘ Ala. Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Gymnastics NCAA Regional Championships: 6 p.m.

By Miranda Murphy Contributing Writer

The Alabama menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s golf team finished in first place without freshman Bobby Wyatt at the Linger Longer Invitational on Tuesday. Wyatt is currently out with a shoulder injury, but his teammates have learned that they need to continue playing hard without him. â&#x20AC;&#x153;After we had some time to get past it, the team has done fine,â&#x20AC;? head coach Jay Seawell said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve adjusted and have gone back to business, and weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re trying to get ourselves to be the best we can be.â&#x20AC;? Wyatt is currently ranked 20th, according to Golfweek/ Sagarin rankings, while junior Bud Cauley is the only teammate ranked higher at No. 8. Wyattâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s best finish this season was second place at the Jerry Pate National Intercollegiate. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We miss Bobby,â&#x20AC;? Seawell said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s one of the best players in the country, but it gives someone else an opportunity to play for the University of Alabama. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got capable guys who can do that. We have a very good team with Bobby and a great team with allowing these other guys to step up also.â&#x20AC;? The Tide ended the tournament at an 18-under-par 846. The team rebounded from finishing 12th last week at the Callaway Collegiate Match Play Championship, its first tournament without Wyatt. Freshman Cory Whitsett would start off the tournament strong by shooting a career-low round of eight-under-par 64. He finished in first place and earned his first medalist honors with a career-low 13-under-par 203. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been working hard,â&#x20AC;? Whitsett said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The one thing Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been very pleased about this spring is that with every tournament, I feel like Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been getting better. This week it finally worked out and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m really pleased.â&#x20AC;? The Tide went head-to-head and tied Chattanooga the first

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day for first place and would go on to lead the rest of the tournament. Junior Bud Cauley was the defending champion of the Linger Longer Invitational and would finish with a 12-under-par 204. â&#x20AC;&#x153;With the golf that Bud Cauley and Cory Whitsett played, they basically lapped the field,â&#x20AC;? Seawell said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Our team just blew everybody away.â&#x20AC;? Freshman Trey Mullinax would end tied for 13th place, sophomore Lee Knox finished tied for 40th place and junior Hunter Hamrick would finish tied for 48th. Wyatt is expected to play in the Southeastern Conference Championships on April 15. The Tide will compete one more time without Wyatt at the Augusta State Invitational in Augusta, Ga., April 2-3.

Top 25 athletes No. 13 CATALIN COSMA, swimmer â&#x20AC;˘ Honors: All-American in the 1650 freestyle (2008); Honorable mention All-American in the 500 freestyle twice (2008-09) â&#x20AC;˘ Key Stats: Three top 15 finishes at NCAA Championships over career; member of school record-setting 800 freestyle relay; ranked second all-time in the 500 freestyle at the University; ranked sixth all-time in the 1000 freestyle at the University â&#x20AC;˘ Great Moment: Posted a 4:17.64 time CW File Photo in the 500 freestyle at the 2008 NCAA Championships as a freshman, the second-best time in school history

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s top four in the country, which is pretty special. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been a consistent performer over the four years.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Head coach Eric McIlquham

14. Marcell Dareus 15. JaMychal Green 16. Tierney Jenkins 17. Mary Anne Macfarlane 18. Tony Mitchell 19. Barrett Jones 20. Bobby Wyatt

21. Jackie Traina 22. Robert Lester 23. Courtney Upshaw 24. Justine Bernier 25. Dontâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;a Hightower

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