Garnet & Black Fall 2010

RECESS[ION] IS IN WHEN SCHOOL IS OUT

DAVID AFTER DENTIST ISN’T THE ONLY ONE ASKING

THIS QUESTION

GUESS HOW MANY GIRLS HAVE OUR MASCOT GETTING COCKY

STUDENT MAGAZINE of the UNIVERSITY OF SOUTH CAROLINA

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Malia Griggs

CREATIVE DIRECTOR

ART DIRECTOR MANAGING EDITOR ASSISTANT MANAGING EDITOR

PHOTO EDITOR ASSISTANT PHOTO EDITOR PR DIRECTOR

Tiffany Melanis

Elizabeth Howell

Tas Anjarwalla

Gregory Goetz

Caitlin Bradley

Sarah Kobos

Melissa Gonzales

WRITERS

Madison Edwards, Lanie Kendrick, Brandon Mize, Melissa Evans, Natalie Newman, Travis Horne, Katherine Brown, William Blakely Welch, Lauren Brown, Michelle Whitfield, Cori Hanky, Ella Brittingham, Lauren Dolan, Liz McIntyre, Rachel Janes

COPY EDITORS

Jessica Beck, Casey McClary

DESIGNERS

Lizzie Erickson, Anna Westbury, Anna Hodgson, Nate Puza, Nicole Cullins

PHOTOGRAPHERS

Caitlin Moore, Allison Abercrombie, Brandon Truett, Tyler Nichols, Alice Wylie, Jeremy Aaron, Stephanie Pope, Keri Goff

PUBLIC RELATIONS

Aleks Kapustynska, Olivia Hill, Jacqueline Lip, Claire Richard, Jacqueline Wazir, Kendra Franklin, Katherine Crowe, Kay Stogner, Katie Witherspoon

DIRECTOR OF STUDENT MEDIA

ADVERTISING MANAGER

CREATIVE MANAGER

BUSINESS MANAGER

CLASSIFIED MANAGER

PRODUCTION MANAGER

Scott Lindenberg

Sarah Scarborough

Edgar Santana

Carolyn Griffin

Sherry F. Holmes

C. Neil Scott

ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVES

Julie Canter, Hannah Cook, Elizabeth Good, Philip Kiselick, Elyssa Markle, Quincy Robinson, Meghan Tankersley

CREATIVE SERVICES

Maddy Alford, A.J. Bikowski, Demetrious Cooper, Maddie McDowell, Allyson Seitzer

ADVERTISING (803) 777-3888

Garnet & Black magazine is produced four times a year by students of the University of South Carolina and is distributed free to members of the University community. All editors and staff members can be contacted at (803) 777-1149. The office is located in Russell House room 339. Send letters to the editor to gandbe@sc.edu or to Garnet & Black magazine, Student Media, 1400 Greene Street, Columbia, SC 29205. Letters should be 250-400 words and must include name, address, phone number and academic information (if applicable). Garnet & Black reserves the right to edit for libel, style and space. Anonymous letters will not be published.

CONTRIBUTORS

BRANDON MIZE

After finishing his “Q&A” with Cocky, Brandon, a third-year visual communications student, realized that interviewing a mascot who doesn’t speak can be difficult, but he believes this segment opened his mind to a more creative thought process. You can read part of his interview on page 10, and watch the full video at gandbmagazine.com.

MARTHA SUSAN MORRIS

Not wanting to endure her own mental recession on her parents’ couch, fourthyear political science and economics student Martha says, “Come graduation day, I don’t want to return to the sweetest town in Dixie, but rather want to seize the chance to get away and play.” Read her article on page 30.

Geoffrey is a second-year computer science student who enjoyed putting together the new G&B website, gandbmagazine. com, and hopes it will become a place where students go on a regular basis to check on and discuss campus events.

Working on the G&B gives Anna, a third-year visual communications student, an outlet for creative expression. She likes to have a little fun and get some work done, too. Check out Anna’s designs on pages 13 and 30.

10.18

Xiu Xiu

It’s not too often that a band like this bothers to set foot in Columbia, SC. Do yourself a favor, and enjoy the show.

10.13 - 10.24 SC State Fair

@ The State Fair Grounds – pg. 14

If our article about fair food doesn’t make you want to go to the fair, the rides, concerts and endless entertainment will stimulate your interest. They even have Swifty Swine Racing Pigs. We’re serious. Mildly obsessed with the idea.

10.29

WUSC Zombie Walk to the Monster Mash

Meet by the Coliseum at 4:30 p.m. in zombie garb, and march to Five Points for a dance party at Bey’s.

10.08 - 10.14

“I Heard A Voice”

THE ART OF LESLEY DILL @ COLUMBIA MUSEUM OF ART

Nothing makes you feel more intelligent than staring intensely at a piece of installation art while musing about the artist’s intentions.

GEOFFREY MARSI

ANNA WESTBURY

I was a creative writer in high school, was president of the University’s student environmental group, am majoring in anthropology and became part of the G&B staff only last year. Three years ago, I never expected to be in the position of Editor-in-Chief, and yet I know I am exactly where I should be.

It’s after midnight, and I’ve been in the magazine office with my staff for the past four days working feverishly to pull this issue together. To edit G&B, you run a fine line between devotion and insanity. You spend 20 minutes arguing over the placement of a comma; the precise cropping of a photo is a matter of life and death — and don’t even get me started on fonts. At a certain hour of the night, the jokes get weirder, the need for caffeine and dance breaks more prevalent — but this is my favorite time. This is the hour where the magazine comes together — clever taglines, spreads and covers falling into place — and being Editor allows me to be involved in every part of the creative process that brings the magazine to this finish line.

I am here seemingly by chance, but at the risk of sounding like something your grandmother would embroider on a pillow, I’ve learned the choices you make do affect your future. This theme of choices surfaces throughout the October issue — choices between schools, what social group to identify with, which candidate to vote for, what path to take after graduation. Now, there is more pressure than ever on college students to find one course and to stick to it. We freak out at the prospect of changing majors and too often deny making the decisions that are most fitting for us.

When I was taking those writing classes, my teachers would always tell me that I was too anal-retentive and to “just go with it.” Now, I find myself applying that same mantra to this magazine and to life. That’s how this staff and this issue have gotten where they are — and where we’re going, I can’t say for certain, but I’m excited to find out.

I’m not quite sure how I got here.

BY MADISON EDWARDS

Before coming to South Carolina, secondyear business student Adam Kess co-organized a run for children with cancer in memory of fellow high schooler Sam Robb. The 5K had about 200 participants and raised over $10,500 in its first year. The run is now an annual event in Roswell, Georgia.

Adam’s drive to help others followed him to the University of South Carolina and pushed him to become philanthropy chair of Alpha Epsilon Pi, USC’s year-old Jewish fraternity.

He is currently working on a project called the Kohl’s Cares program in an effort to help the Charlotte Jewish Day School win a $500,000 award.

Aside from his philanthropic work, Adam hopes to gain business experience by starting a valet service for students who have trouble finding parking on campus.

“I found that there is a strong need on campus for parking. The best solution I could come up with was a valet service so students could avoid getting tickets, being late to class and worrying about having their cars towed,” Adam says.

In addition to being a University Ambassador, Adam runs a tutoring business on Craigslist, in which he offers his Spanish-speaking talents to those who are struggling with the language.

Adam Kess

PHOTOGRAPHY BY CAITLIN MOORE

BY LANIE KENDRICK & TAS ANJARWALLA

Tiffany Damani, a fifth-year exercise science student, spent her childhood on three different continents. Born in Paris, France, she moved to her parents’ home nation of Cameroon, Africa when she was 9.

Her connection with African culture is what drew her to join the historically black sorority Sigma Gamma Rho, where she serves as president.

“I believe in their ideals and philanthropy because they give back to the community with regards to Africa, which appealed to me,” she says about her sorority.

These same community-bridging ideals are what led Tiffany to join sorority recruitment as a Pi Chi for the National Pan-Hellenic Conference, or NPC. This conference encompasses sororities with predominantly white membership, different from the National Pan-Hellenic Council, or NPHC, which is what Sigma Gamma Rho and other historically black fraternities and sororities are a part of.

Tiffany says she thought “it would be great for me to learn about other Greeks besides NPHC itself so I could get a concept about Greek Life as a whole instead of just NPHC.”

Tiffany’s role as a Pi Chi was unusual because members of NPHC generally have no affiliation with NPC Rush. Tiffany was curious about the NPC recruitment process.

“Hearing about it didn’t answer all the questions that I had about how NPC did their recruitment. So when the opportunity to be a Pi Chi presented itself, I grabbed it,” she says.

In addition to her sorority involvement, she serves on the Multicultural Outreach Student Team, which works closely with the Admissions Office. Tiffany wants to eventually be involved with HIV and cancer research.

Tiffany Damani

NCAA National Mascot Cocky meets with G&B reporter Brandon Mize for a tell-all interview.

BY BRANDON MIZE

Q: How do you feel about our University of South Carolina baseball team winning a national championship title?

A:

thing to do during your free time?

A: Cocky loves to read Garnet & Black.

Q: What’s a five-letter word that’s synonymous with being overly confident?

Exactly how many of the cheerleaders are you currently dating?

A: Cocky has honestly lost count...

Q: Which fast food chain do you prefer? Chick-fil-A or Zaxby’s?

A: Cocky doesn’t appreciate that question at all.

Q: Given the current economic situation, how much money have you saved over the last few months?

A: It looks like Cocky saved a rubber band, a paper clip and a couple of pennies.

Q: What’s your best impression of football head coach Steve Spurrier?

storewars

BY WILLIAM BLAKELY WELCH

hookah spots

617

Harden Street

Disorderly Conduct

Disorderly Conduct is located on Harden Street in Five Points across from Red Hot Tomatoes. This hookah supply venue differs from the other hookah spots in Columbia in that it is actually a store that sells hookah paraphernalia and other goods. Disorderly allows its customers to smoke outside at one of its tables during regular business hours and offers great preparation and expertise. There is a limited selection of flavors to smoke at the store, but Disorderly has one of the best selections of flavors for sale that you can find in this city. You can pick up some awesome flavors if you’ve invested in your own hookah. Prices are pretty cheap at Disorderly compared to the other hookah options, but you can save even more money if you bring friends along to share the experience (and cost) with you.

Hours: Sun: 12-8 p.m., M-W: 11a.m.-8 p.m., Th: 11 a.m.-11 p.m., F-Sat: 12 p.m.-12 a.m.

PRICES: $5 FOR FIRST PERSON, $2 FOR EACH ADDITIONAL PERSON (MAX. FOUR PER HOOKAH)

629 Main Street

Al-Amir

Al-Amir, located on Main Street between Firehouse and Moe’s, offers a unique, quality dining experience with several traditional Mediterranean dishes that cannot be found anywhere else in Columbia. While the variety of hookah flavors isn’t the greatest, the offered options make sure that even the most inexperienced smoker can have a great time. City law prohibits customers from smoking inside of Al-Amir, but the staff does a good job of making sure its clients get customer service. For those looking to satisfy a hookah craving along with some traditional, delicious food, Al-Amir is by far the best venue in Columbia. Overall, this dining experience provides quick service and an opportunity to learn about hookah.

Hours: M-Sat: 10 a.m.-10 p.m., Sun: 10 a.m.- 9 p.m.

PRICES: VARY DEPENDING ON PARTY AND NIGHT, EXPECT AROUND $12-$15

803

919C

803 is a members-only hookah and oxygen bar located across from the Horseshoe and next to Beezer’s. It is the most convenient hookah bar for those living on campus, yet probably the least known to students. 803 offers a great selection of hookah flavors and regular specials at its two full-size bars (one upstairs and one down). This generally laid-back venue always has music playing, whether it be a live band, DJ or the bartender’s iPod. 803 has a climate geared toward the college student who wants to hang out with friends, have a few drinks and smoke hookah. The bar’s seating lines the walls, inviting clients to proceed to any section of the two-story establishment as soon as they enter. With flat rate pricing per bowl, prices at 803 can easily be kept in check by splitting a bill amongst your group.

Hours: Sun-Th: 9 p.m.- 3 a.m., F - Sat: 9 p.m.-close PRICES FOR ADMISSION: $5 FOR GUEST; $10 FOR 6-MONTH MEMBERSHIP; $15 FOR 1-YEAR MEMBERSHIP, ADDITIONAL $18 FOR FOUR-PERSON HOOKAH

flavor studies

BLAKE SURVEYED 52 HOOKAH-SMOKING STUDENTS FOR THEIR FAVORITE FLAVORS

Sumter Street

BY LAUREN BROWN

Fall is finally in the air in Columbia, which means that it’s time for the annual South Carolina State Fair. Each year in October, the expansive fairgrounds are taken over by Ferris wheels, tilt-a-whirls, carnival games, farm animals and, of course, hundreds of vendors selling anything and everything that comes deep-fried or on a stick. We’re talking corn dogs, candy apples, deep-fried candy bars, funnel cakes and even deep-fried sodas. Many people attend the SC State Fair simply to sample these tasty treats since these snacks, like the fair itself, seem to come around only once a year.But if you ever get a craving for any of these calorie-enriched foods after the fair has shut down, you’re in luck. In some Columbia stores and restaurants,

If you’re in the mood for

Sonic Drive-In on Assembly Street has them for $1.39. Another classic fair food,

are sold at Cromer’s on Huger Street. For $1.89, you can choose between a few different candy apples. Cromer’s also has other types of fair snacks, including roasted peanuts and a variety of popcorn flavors.

Not quite classics, but fair favorites nonetheless,

a classic corn dog, candy apples, fried pickle chips, fried Oreos and fried cheesecake

can also be found at local Columbia restaurants. Carolina Wings & Rib House offers a huge plate of deep-fried pickle chips with dipping sauce for $6.99. Pop’s N.Y. Pizza in Five Points fries up five Oreos per order, then sprinkles them with powdered sugar, all for only $3.45. You can order fried cheesecake at Tios for $4.49, which comes with your choice of toppings.

fair food is on the menu all year long.

This year’s South Carolina State Fair will be held

Oct. 13 - 24

Don’t forget the

doughnut holes!

Dunkin’ Donuts has its Glazed Munchkins that run about $5.44 for a box of 25.

CORN DOG - 300 calories // 215 CALORIES

CANDY APPLE - 150 calories // 280 CALORIES

25 FRIED PICKLES - 450 calories // 150 CALORIES

1 FRIED OREO - 250 calories // 100 CALORIES

FRIED CHEESECAKE - 600 calories // 650 CALORIES

1 GLAZED MUNCHKIN - 80 calories // 50 CALORIES

Note: Calories are an approximation.

Just a quick warning before you run out to gorge yourself on fried delights: Don’t regularly binge on these goodies like you would at the fair, or you’ll soon be adding another notch to your belt

(or a clog to your artery).

SOAPBOX

BY KATHERINE BROWN BY TRAVIS HORNE

Are you looking for a U.S. senator with a familiar face and a “minty” fresh outlook? Well, when the time comes for you to vote in November, think Jim DeMint because he has the senatorial experience and conservative values that SC needs in a leader.

Votes show that DeMint stands by his religious and moral beliefs and believes the government needs to cut back on wasteful spending. DeMint is a proud South Carolinian and an upstanding citizen, whereas his Democratic opponent, Alvin Greene, was recently arrested for showing a Carolina student pornographic material in a computer lab on campus. How can we rely on Greene to make laws for our country when he has a criminal record himself? One thing you can definitely rely on Greene for is to trip over his sentences when speaking in public.

DeMint’s other opponent, Green Party candidate Tom Clements, like Greene, has no record at all, as he has never held an elected position. My advice? Stay away from both greens.

So, what kind of representative do you want when the time comes to enforce laws: a felon, an inexperienced candidate or our incumbent senator with a clean record?

Alvin Greene is obviously the right candidate for the 2010 Senate election because he’s relatable to college students in many ways. He is unemployed, still living in his father’s basement, trying to fight off criminal charges and just looking to make a name for himself.

Greene, 33, is a jobless military veteran who would give a voice to the 11% of South Carolinians currently without work, one of the highest unemployment rates in the nation. He’s also a family man, as he devotes quality time to hanging out with Dad. Greene is, interestingly enough, trying to fend off a criminal charge as well, which some of us can relate to (particularly those who are underage).

Besides being amazingly down-toearth and low-key, Greene has remarkable photos in the Free Times, in which he rocks his now nationally known “Greene Family Reunion” shirt. He’s also given some genuinely eye-opening interviews.

As for his adversaries Jim DeMint and Tom Clements, they have no chance against Greene. His résumé clearly speaks for itself. Let’s go Greene for 2010!

BY NATALIE NEWMAN

Green Party candidate Tom Clements is focused on issues that pertain to the environment, economy and job industry. He has never been elected for office, but that just makes him a clean, green slate, ready to listen to the people of South Carolina.

Unlike Jim DeMint and Al Greene, Clements cares about the environment and hopes to increase jobs based on South Carolina’s potential for alternative energy. While Clements was once arrested, it was in the 1970s for participating in civil disobedience against dangerous nuclear policies. The same cannot be said about Al Greene, who was arrested for showing porn to a female student on this very campus.

Clements also advocates green energies , as opposed to Jim DeMint who voted to speed up the destruction of our precious forests!

Consider our environment and our economy in this election and vote for Tom Clements. It’s the choice that makes sense.

JIM DEMINT ALVIN GREENE

TOM CLEMENTS

space

McCutchen House Kitchen

BY MICHELLE WHITFIELD

Stationed above the burners are stainless steel vents that circulate air and diffuse any smoke.

See James as he works his way around the flaming stove. The key is to remain cautious, always protecting your face from overexposure to the fire.

Using the flambé technique, James must now caramelize the uniquely assorted flavors in the pan.

Standing over a pan of a sizzling mix of sautéed bananas, a dash of rum, a few drops of brandy and a sprinkle of brown sugar, James creates the tantalizing Bananas Foster, a must-have recipe that takes only 10 minutes max to make, folks!

The large stainless steel sauté pan is frequently used to cook various dishes, desserts, appetizers and more!

This powerful, state-of-the-art stove holds up to six pots or pans and has a built-in oven located beneath it.

Here, we have first-year culinary/HRTM student, James White, turnin’ it up in the newly renovated, student-run McCutchen House Kitchen. According to James, the “hottest spot on campus” is conveniently located directly on the Horseshoe (902 Sumter Street). The kitchen is now open for the fall semester until Dec. 3 with the exception of Fall Break and other holidays. So, if you’re ever curious or just in the mood for a not-too-fancy lunch, stop by any time between 11:30 a.m. and 1:30 p.m., Tuesday-Friday. Reservations are highly recommended. The gourmet lunch is only $10 per person, and it’s worth it! Check out the kitchen’s website at www.mccutchenhouse.sc.edu, or call (803) 777-4450.

PHOTOGRAPHY BY TYLER NICHOLS

scene BY MELISSA EVANS

save&splurge

As college students, we utilize every new technological product that comes out.

You cannot go anywhere on campus today without seeing a smart phone, iPod or laptop. Companies are constantly putting out new and innovative products to feed our growing need to make life on-the-go easier and more enjoyable. Check out these five products that make us curious; save on three, and splurge on two.

splurge save

If you have extra cash after buying all those expensive textbooks, consider buying an e-reader to lighten your bookload. Sharper Image Literati, released in October, is one of few readers to bear a 7-inch color screen (unlike Amazon’s Kindle, Barnes & Noble’s Nook and Sony Reader, which are all in black and white). Its Wi-Fi connectivity allows you to download books anywhere directly from the Kobo bookstore.

price: $159 (plus 150 free public domain books with special offers) www.sharperimage.com

Flip has one-upped its previous compact video recording devices with the new Flip SlideHD. The minicamcorder allows you to shoot in HD and records up to four hours of video, which you can immediately watch on the slide-up widescreen. You have the choice to customize your camcorder using the online design gallery or with a pattern generator. You can also upload your own photo to impose on the device. With the ability to hold 12 hours of videos, pictures, movies and Flip Channels, this device is a must-have for anyone looking to capture those special and random moments of life.

price: $279.99 www.theflip.com

Cell phones do so much these days, so why shouldn’t your case be just as dynamic? Your iPhone cover can do more than just protect your phone from those unfortunate drops; it can even protect your teeth by doubling as a bottle opener. This advancement in phone covers merges your favorite gadget with your favorite pastime. It will fit your iPhone 3G/3GS/4.

price: $19.95 www.ibottleopener.com

Give your phone’s battery a quick boost while riding your bike to the gym or class with this resourceful cell phone charger. An electrical generator is powered by the front bicycle wheel as the rider pedals, transferring electricity to a charger attached to the handlebar, which plugs into the phone. A 10-minute trip at six miles per hour can produce about 28 minutes of talk time, or 37 hours of standby. Though this cheap charger is only compatible with Nokia phones, you can find multi-brand chargers for higher prices online.

price: $18 www.nokia.com

This tiny cooler plugs right into any USB port in your computer. It is lit internally with a blue LED light and keeps your 12-ounce drink perfectly chilled. There is no longer a need to get a cup of ice or to run back and forth to the refrigerator if you have this nifty gadget. Now, you can spend more time studying — and drinking.

price: $19.99

www.thinkgeek.com

USB Beverage Cooler 4

Sharper Image Literati 1

Flip SlideHD 2

iBottleopener Case 3

Nokia Bike Charger 5

We’ve all thought those phrases that suggest humor or drama or reek of a desperate hunger for fame —“I should be on a reality show” or “my family should have its own sitcom” or “my life should be a movie.” We realize the absurdity of these statements and laugh begrudgingly at the idea of people wanting to watch what goes on in our lives. Yet sometimes, after a rare, hilarious or tragic occasion, we’ll hear someone’s story that really does belong on the big screen.

BY CORI HANKY & TAS ANJARWALLA

Some are struck by luck, others are dumbstruck and then there’s the small percentage of people who are struck by lightning. Let’s face it.

Is this “reel” life “reel” life?

Dylan Knight, a second-year media arts student, was sitting on his couch this past summer, eating a bagel and thinking about how there was nothing new in life, when the phone rang.

“Hey, it’s Skinny from Nappy Roots,” the caller said, giving Dylan the shock of a lifetime.

“We want you to shoot a music video for us,” Skinny continued as Dylan sat dumbfounded.

Dylan, originally from Kentucky, was in Virginia for the summer interning with DuckDuck Collective — a creative group in Lynchburg. Since he made the decision to study film-making, Dylan has been creating music videos for local artists and groups he knows personally.

“I didn’t even know they knew who I was,” says Dylan about Nappy Roots. “I don’t even know how they got my number.”

But the popular rap group was set on having Dylan shoot their video, and within two weeks of the phone call, they had him on a plane back to his home state to film “The People,” a portrait of the citizens of Louisville, Kentucky.

Dylan and a friend spent two days hanging with Nappy Roots.

“I was pretty star-struck at first. But the thing that surprised me is that they were just regular guys who had a passion for what they did,” he says. “It was fun because we were going all over the city, and at every stop I got to learn more and more about each member. I got to have some pretty personal conversations with them — we talked about their kids and their pasts.”

Dylan was given a VIP pass to the Nappy Roots show in Louisville, and he says it was something he’ll never forget.

“People were just throwing them drinks and bottles. I got to go up to the room with them, and it was just like those stereotypical rapper/hip-hop videos.”

Dylan’s unbelievable experience was certainly due more to hard work than luck, and you can check out his amazing (seriously) videos at dylanknight.com. He is currently working on a music video for another Kentucky-based hip-hop artist, Nemo.

When SC Honors College student “Molly” applied for a job at Camp Wayfarer, she marked “sailing” as a leadership activity — without having set foot on a sailboat. When Molly arrived at camp, the director informed her that she would be the sailing counselor.

Molly joined her co-workers a week before the campers arrived for an afternoon on the water. She thought, “How hard could this be?” She boarded her single-sailor Sunfish sailboat and pushed off. Within minutes, Molly’s boat slammed into the pier, splitting the better half of the bow. A co-counselor rushed over and asked in a confused tone, “Have you ever actually been sailing before?” Molly replied, simply, “Never.”

For the rest of that week, Molly took a crash course in sailing, and when her first group of campers arrived, she only sort of knew how to teach them what to do. For weeks, Molly smiled and agreed with her kids when they asked if they were sailing correctly.

At the end of the summer, Molly took the girls out for a special day of sailing on Camp Wayfarer’s most prized possession — The Hobie Cat, a small sailing catamaran. As the first four girls boarded the boat, Molly pushed off.

The further they sailed from the dock, the more Molly realized she had no idea what she was doing. She assured everyone that the water filling the right side of the boat was not a sign that the boat was sinking, but as soon as she jibed in an attempt to whip the sails around and return to the pier, water crashed into the left side. The boat was, indeed, sinking. Molly tried to keep everybody calm, but the four prima donnas in her class became hysterical.

They swam to shore, and Molly ran for help. She made it back in time to watch the tallest tip of the sail slipping under the surface of the water — destined to remain there forever, like the Titanic or the Black Pearl. Molly was not asked to return to camp the next summer.

The following Christmas, Molly’s mother gave her a book as a gift: “Basic Sailing: An Easy-to-Use Book with Over 200 Illustrations.” It remains on her bookshelf, untouched.

First-year student Devon Thurman was struck by lightning. She wasn’t flying a kite in a storm or trying to get back to 1985 in her DeLorean; she was washing her horse, Turner. A storm hit, forcing Devon and Turner to retreat to the barn as thunder rumbled in the sky around them. While hosing down the horse, Devon could see lightning strike the ground, but coolly she kept on with her task. Little did she know what was to come.

“I’ve ridden in bad weather a lot, and it was never an issue. I think it was just one of those freak things that happens,” Devon says.

She was holding the metal end of the hose in her hand and standing on a rubber mat when a shock bolted through her system. She was knocked backward into the wall as Turner was forced into the air.

Lightning had come up from the ground along the water system and through the hose in Devon’s hand. The current coursed through

her body, and the spray of water conducted electricity to the horse.

“It was just really quick, and I didn’t know what happened,” Devon says. “The only way to describe it is if you touch something and get shocked by it — except way stronger.”

Devon spent 20 minutes making sure Turner was okay before driving herself to the ER.

The doctors told Devon that because she had been standing on rubber mats, she didn’t have an exit wound. According to her, normally when lightning goes into someone, it leaves a mark where it comes out.

“They said because I didn’t have an exit wound, the lightning was probably still in me,” Devon says.

She stayed at the hospital most of the night but went to school the next day.

[FROM BLUEGRASS ROOTS TO NAPPY ROOTS] [A CRASH COURSE IN SAILING]

[THE STORM THURMAN]

-DDEDEVOVON ON TH THUURMAN

“HAVE YOU EVER ACTUALLY BEEN SAILING BEFORE?” MOLLY REPLIED, SIMPLY, “NEVER.”

BY ANNA HODGSON

IN THE DUGOUT: THE JACKIE BRADLEY JR. STORY

ith all of the hype surrounding South Carolina baseball, it’s odd to see Carolina Stadium so deserted and calm on this late afternoon. As little as three months ago, thousands of fans created a sea of garnet and black in this exact vicinity, yelling, waving banners and trying to get handmade posters on ESPN. The Gamecock Nation had something for which to cheer – the team had just advanced to the Super Regionals of the College World Series.

Everyone knows what happened next. The Gamecocks wasted no time blowing

BY GREGORY GOETZ PHOTOGRAPHY BY SARAH KOBOS

through Omaha, and the experience culminated in the team hoisting an NCAA national championship trophy.

Today, I’m sitting in prime lower-level seats on the first baseline. I can hear the echoing soundtrack of Blossom Street traffic. As I gaze at the newly flying championship flag in center field, a nonchalant figure enters dressed in jeans, a white shirt and the trademark Phiten necklaces I’d seen on television: the 2010 CWS Most Outstanding Player, Jackie Bradley Jr.

I can only imagine how many interviews Jackie’s done in the past few months, so I ask

“I didn’t check my Facebook for five days in Omaha and ended up having around

1,100

FRIEND REQUESTS.

But I tried not to pay attention to all that and just focused on doing my best to help the team.”

where he’s most comfortable to talk.

“The dugout,” he says naturally, grinning as he leads the way.

With great energy, Carolina’s outfielder jumps to sit on the bench’s top ledge.

“This is how we sit during the games,” Jackie shrugs. Attempting to disguise my awkwardness by deciding which clichés to avoid, I ask what question he gets the most.

Without a second thought, Jackie replies: “‘What’s it feel like to be a champion?’” He doesn’t elaborate, and I don’t push for an answer.

We talk about his summer instead.

Although Jackie has been a well-known player since his freshman season, the last few months have catapulted him to VIP status in college baseball. This was catalyzed by the CWS in June, where Jackie quickly became a favorite subject of the commentators.

“I didn’t know about the announcers talking about me, but after the games I would get 140 text messages telling me I was being compared to certain people, that Nomar [Garciaparra] was saying good things,” Jackie says without a hint of arrogance. “I didn’t check my Facebook for five days in Omaha and ended up having around 1,100 friend requests. But I tried not to pay attention to all that and just focused on doing my best to help the team.”

Which is exactly what he did in the clutch. During his two out at-bat in the bottom of the 12th inning against Oklahoma, a critical moment for South Carolina, none of this hype phased him. Nothing did.

“To be honest, my mind was blank,” Jackie says. “I had not even thought that this could be the last out [of the season]. I just worked the count, got it into my favor and punched a hit through the right side.” He shakes his head in amazement. “It was a turning point, and I remember it like it was yesterday.”

From there, the Gamecocks rolled on to defeat Clemson, and finally, UCLA. Jackie earned the accolades of Most Outstanding Player and a spot on the All-Tournament Team. He and his teammates closed down the last game to ever be played in the historic Rosenblatt Stadium.

Glancing around our stadium, Jackie recalls the experience: “There was so much emotion from the players, the fans and the people in Omaha. [Rosenblatt] has been there for about 60 years, and there was just this feeling in the stadium.”

The 2010 College World Series marked the end of the Omaha park’s illustrious career, but served as the gamechanger for Jackie Bradley Jr’s. Since the tournament, he’s garnered national recognition for his stellar playing and estimates that he’s signed nearly 9,000 autographs. He has subsequently been touted as a top-15 draft pick for the MLB. However, the pros will have to wait.

Jackie fiddles with a nearby bat and says it’s always been his dream to play baseball. “But I’m just trying to take it one year at a time. I’m not focusing on it as a career yet. … I’m just having fun playing.” He smiles and adds, “It was a good June.”

When I comment in wonder at how these experiences made up only a month of his summer, he deflects the opportunity to boast and simply nods.

Starting in July, Jackie represented USC on the Collegiate National Team in Taiwan and Japan. His continuously strong numbers helped pave the way to a silver medal at the World University Baseball Championship in Tokyo.

Jackie had never traveled out of the country; he felt out of place and lost five pounds from the diet, but the journey gave Jackie perspective, especially in regard to baseball.

While in Tokyo, he was able to catch a few games and says he really grew to appreciate the commitment of Japanese players.

“It’s impressive, and they practice for so long. … Overall though, the trip made me appreciate the U.S. better, especially the food!”

Jackie returned to the U.S. in time for the fall semester and applied newfound energy to his studies, despite physical exhaustion.

“I think I played about 90 games over the course of this season and the summer,” he says, looking up. “If there was one question I wish people would have asked since the College World Series, it’s: ‘How tired are you?’”

Not too tired to travel another 450 miles to shake the hand of the president.

In recognition of their efforts in Omaha, the Gamecocks baseball team, along with other NCAA champions from the last year, was invited to attend an address given by President Obama at the White House. The president lauded the dedication of these student athletes, and his conscientiousness of their obstacles solidified Jackie’s outlook on work ethic.

“Time management is absolutely key,” Jackie says. “During the year, we only miss maybe three or four Fridays.”

As a third-year retail management student, Jackie knows that maintaining good grades is a challenge.

“It’s not easy, but it’s important,” he says.

I’m impressed when he then tells me his favorite class is accounting.

Between walking the White House lawn, touring Congress and visiting the Washington Nationals ballpark, Jackie’s time in D.C. constituted another noteworthy trip to the Capitol; in a former sojourn, he witnessed Michael Jordan’s last professional game as MJ played against his former team, the Chicago Bulls.

After meeting President Obama, Jackie was thrilled to return to Columbia. He is excited to continue his relationships with the team, his family and through service, the Carolina community. In his free time, he reads to children at local schools and speaks about his faith at churches. Jackie also keeps up with the family of Bayler Teal, a 7-year-old boy who was one of the team’s biggest supporters and whose life was tragically taken by cancer during Carolina’s CWS run. Jackie and the team dedicated their Omaha wins to Bayler.

Currently, the team is getting back into the swing of training, and Jackie and his teammates look forward to discovering what the new season holds – which includes parting with the “Avatar Spirit Stick,” their lucky charm during the CWS.

“I heard that somebody took it and that it’s in good care, but I think it’s officially retired,” Jackie muses. “This team has to come up with something new and develop its own identity.”

By the sound of their camaraderie, this won’t be a problem.

“In the dugout, we’re always listening to music and trying to guess each others’ walk-up songs. Coach Tanner is the serious one, but when he turns his back, we’re … joking around,” Jackie tells me.

From his tone, it is apparent that the 2011 campaign for Omaha has already started, and Jackie’s phenomenal summer has transitioned into a promising fall.

The grounds crew arrives to tend to the field as I pack to leave, ending my closest stint to a career in college baseball. I tell Jackie the October release date for this issue and ask if he would like to say anything else. He pauses, thinks for a second, then adds:

“Happy birthday, Mom.”

“I just worked the count, got it into my favor and punched a hit through the right side.

and I remember it like it was yesterday.”

in recession recess

BY MARTHA SUSAN MORRIS

WHY THE WORLD IS A 20-SOMETHING’S NEW PLAYGROUND

Given the state of our economy, how is a young graduate who can barely distinguish between credit and debit going to make it in today’s world? Fittingly nicknamed “Generation Y,” graduates and upperclassmen now find themselves asking: “Y me? Y now?”

Every few decades, a challenge arises and a naïve group of individuals is confronted with the harsh reality that life is not all tailgates and summers at the beach — and now, our society has moved from the Great Depression to the Great Recession.

In true Darwinian form, our generation is adapting and forming a new way to job

drinks are cheap, the people attractive and English is prevalent. While there, be sure to diligently write about the epiphanies you experience as you change locales every two weeks. Make money by hopping from hostel to hostel, offering up your services as a bartender, concierge clerk, translator or scuba-diving instructor.

Get Real: While traveling is a great way to experience culture and learn others’ viewpoints, as a former student presumably paying off “book money,” look for programs that help cover your costs abroad and give you résumé-worthy skills. From teaching English in Slovakia (www.teflinsti-

ative you commune with nature before you are old and plagued with arthritis. Whether you work at a ski resort, teach white-water rafting or sail catamarans, any of these skills will help in impressing your future, cubiclenumbed co-workers and Scotch-slamming bosses. It will only be a matter of time before your friends give you “unique” trinkets of antiquity with slogans reading: “I’d rather be sailing” or “Gone Fishing.” So, perhaps this is the time to do exactly that.

Get Real: Both the National Outdoor Leadership School (www.nols.edu) and AmeriCorps (www.americorps.gov) are notable organizations, but if you are more suit-

hunt. It is no longer a simple transition from an interview after graduation to a hiring in mid-June. Graduates now feel the pressure to load up on grueling entry-level positions and to build extensive professional connections in order to get their careers of choice.

As we adjust to the fact that choices made during our college years will inevitably determine our futures, it becomes apparent that this is not the time to make rash decisions. However, a delay in careers does not have to be a frustrating period of anxiety, but rather can be a time to explore a plethora of post-college prospects that have invigorated this generation into adopting the new mantra of: “Y not play?”

TRAVEL

Dream On: Want to get away? Voyage abroad and become famous by promulgating your newfound wisdom through a blog. What’s a few thousand dollars more in loans after the five years you spent at Carolina? Choose any exotic* location where

tute.com) to working on an organic farm in Japan (www.wwoof.org), multiple organizations are out there to utilize your youth and knowledge. These are desirable getaways if you are altruistic in nature and have yet to see the world, if you want a career in foreign affairs or policy or simply aim to continue your language development.

Both the Peace Corps (www. peacecorps.gov) and Language Corps (www.languagecorps.com) are increasingly popular among young graduates. Don’t have the experience? Consider joining a cruise ship crew.

GO WEST

Dream On: Take time off after college to find yourself in high-altitude places. Out West in Aspen, Lake Tahoe or Jackson Hole, philosophize with astute minds that have not yet departed the oasis of superiority that their alma maters provided them. In order to justify your move West to Mom and Dad back East, explain that it is imper-

ed to staying in one place, national parks need people to dress as Native Americans (www.nps.gov), and Vail, Colorado needs constant streams of seasonal workers to appease the tourists untouched by the recession (www.jobs.vailresorts.com).

INTERN

Dream On: Fame may come easily to some — Antoine Dodson, Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton, anyone? However, the odds of being able to use tabloid infamy to supplement your income are lower than Snooki’s IQ. Thus, enter the internship — the love child of overachievers and stingy companies everywhere.

Get Real: Opportunities exist in all fields with the basic internship, and younger undergrads should consider interning as early as their first year. Internships can possibly prevent a career of unhappiness. Before starting law school and realizing that politics are not what you thought (or what “Legally Blonde” led you to believe), in-

Graduates now use stepping stones like interning, freelancing & working selflessly with others to get to their careers of choice.

terning for a political campaign or firm can show you where your heart lies (or doesn’t). Though the hours are grueling and the pay nonexistent, internships will get your foot in the door and yield impressive letters of recommendation. USC offers its own internship search aid (www.sc.edu/career) and other popular databases geared toward specific industries like idealist.org for you philanthropists or ed2010.com for journalists.

FREELANCE

Dream On: Fortunately for those who might not want to pursue a demanding internship or risk exposing their skin to the harsh conditions of the Rockies, there are always jobs in modeling, writing or entertainment. For those who feel the allure of the Strom dur-

ing your time here, maybe you could model, but if you’d rather not lose 30 pounds, develop your art or comedy routine. You can hold out to be “discovered” while performing at a Columbia venue. Parlay your wit and humor from your online blog into a book deal to be sold at Urban Outfitters checkout counters everywhere — think “PassiveAggressive Notes” and “E-mails from an Asshole.”

Get Real: After graduation, move to a cultural hub, whether it be New York City, Chicago, New Orleans or San Francisco (maybe even Dry Prong, Louisiana). Take art classes, tour galleries and offer to work under new and emerging artists, musicians or cinematographers. It’s a way to build a résumé and give yourself exposure to ideas and creative people before attempt-

ing to emerge onto the entertainment/ arts scene yourself. You can display and sell your work on websites like etsy.com and artfire.com, or work to advocate the arts through community theater and afterschool programs (www.afterschoolartsprogram.org).

Whatever path you choose after graduation, the road to prosperity and success is what you make it. Whether you are the political activist championing a cause or the nature enthusiast seeking a “natural high,” the recession has made the world an enormous playground. After graduation, the choice to experiment with careers and invest in personal development will yield more conscientious and well-rounded individuals. As a generation, we may begin to ask: “Y not us?”

Becoming

Walking

College is a place you come to with a clean slate. It’s a time to find yourself and discover your own sense of style. You know that nerd with the Harry Potter frames in your STAT 202 class? How about that sorority girl covered in pink and green floral everything? We know we wear it and know you hate it. Let’s face it, though, you’re a little cliché too.

PHOTOGRAPHY BY CAITLIN BRADLEY STYLING BY TAS ANJARWALLA, MALIA GRIGGS & TIFFANY MELANIS HAIR AND MAKEUP BY LAUREN MATTISON & NICOLE CRAVEN

On

FOR BEHIND-THE-SCENES PHOTOS, VISIT GANDBMAGAZINE.COM

Cammi: Cardigan and tank, Mary; skirt, American Apparel

On Ebbie: Shirt, vest, bowtie and pants, American Apparel

On Cammi: Dress and clutch, Bohemian

On Ebbie: Sweater and pants, American Apparel; blazer and bowtie as pocket square, Brittons

On Ian: Hat, jacket, shorts, socks and shoes, The Backpacker

On Veronica: Shirt, necklace, jeans and shoes, Bohemian

On Ian: Hat, The Backpacker; shirt, Sid & Nancy

On Veronica: Headband and watch, Bohemian; shirt and skirt, American Apparel; shoes, Mary

TO MODEL? E-MAIL GANDBPHOTOS@GMAIL.COM

On Payton: Shirt, shorts and shoes, Strictly Running; bag, South Carolina Book Store

On Lauren: Pants and shoes, Strictly Running Accessories: Glove and cooler, Todd & Moore

FOR BEHIND-THE-SCENES PHOTOS, VISIT GANDBMAGAZINE.COM

[JOCK]

[COCK]

On Payton: Shirt, sweater and pants, Brittons

On Lauren: Dress, necklace and shoes, Mary

BY CORI HANKY

This school year, why not try a new activity? These four organizations offer a dose of entertainment to all students in need of a short break from the monotony that may be plaguing their school days. The best part is that students can join any of these groups if they feel an urge to finally employ their dusty imaginations.

acoustic café

Acoustic Café is a great way to spend a free hour on a Tuesday night, whether you’re an aspiring musician, music lover or just taking a coffee break from studying. Held seven times throughout the semester at the Barnes & Noble in Russell House, Acoustic Café offers students the opportunity to perform live covers and original material in a casual and respectful environment. Each evening show lasts from 9:30 to 10:30 and allows two artists 30 minutes each to play.

If you’re interested in participating, contact Steph Durso, the Concerts Committee head for CP, so she can get a feel for your music and find a spot for you. “[Acoustic Café] is a great way for musicians to gain exposure and even make a profit if they sell demo CDs,” says Steph. For a complete list of dates, pick up a Carolina Productions calendar at the Russell House Info Desk, or check out www.cp.sc.edu.

E-mail: saconcrt@mailbox.sc.edu

dinobrite productions

If you haven’t heard of DinoBrite, then get out of the library (or get on YouTube while there, come on). DinoBrite, led by fourth-year students Joey Thompson and Fabio Frey, is a comic group that has been featured twice on Comedy Central’s hit show “Tosh.0.” Its top video on YouTube has over 66,000 hits. DinoBrite has twice been named one of the four best college comedy shows by College Broadcasters, Inc. and was invited to participate in Orlando’s Video Sketchfest. Their most unusual accomplishment? Receiving a compliment from Hodge Stansson of the “Unforgivable” videos (you know, “waffle fries, for free!”). DinoBrite also has a show on SGTV called “Skitzophrenia.” This year, Joey and Fabio hope to produce another show for SGTV, several pilots and a short film. If you want to get in on the action, be ready to work hard. “People expect it to be all fun, but it’s work,” Fabio says seriously. He follows with, “I once threw a grapefruit at my teacher’s head.”

E-mail: dinobrite@gmail.com

Watch: On SGTV or at www.youtube.com/dinobrite

toast improv

When asked what Toast Improv is all about, director Russell Sanders put it this way: “Hopefully, we just make ... kids laugh … and we make each other laugh!” Toast is an improvisational comedy group consisting of around five students, with auditions for new members held once a year. Once a month, the group performs—no sets, no scripts.

“It’s pure make-believe,” Russell explains, “and that works out best.” Each year, the students involved also attend the North Carolina Comedy Arts Festival, where they participate in improv workshops and performances. This year, Toast is holding a 10th anniversary show at the end of October in addition to their regular performance, which will be held at the beginning of October.

Facebook: Toast Improv Twitter: ToastImprovSC YouTube: ToastImprovSC

spoken word wednesdays

A new event sponsored by Carolina Productions, Spoken Word Wednesdays features poetry that students write themselves and perform in front of an audience. Amartha Ogburu, head of the Spoken Word Wednesdays project, suggests that this event will be the first of its type that CP has brought to the University. “It is uniform and structured so that everyone can know well in advance, and students can get excited about it,” she says. The event takes place on Wednesday evenings once a month in the Russell House Theater, the first of which was on Sept. 15 and featured popular spoken word poet and musical artist, Oveous. Oveous has gained a following by performing all over, including on HBO’s “Def Poetry.” When asked about rehearsals for Spoken Word Wednesdays, Amartha responded that there were none. “We’re kind of expecting them to just bring it.”

E-mail: saculawr@mailbox.sc.edu

Meetings: Cultural Awareness Committee: Wednesdays, 7 p.m., Russell House 348

dj isaac sarton

BY LAUREN DOLAN

Show Name: “The Carolina Cover-up”

Slot time: Tuesday, 8-10 p.m.

Isaac was once bitten by a monkey in the seventh grade at a zoo in Panama. He only plays covers on his show.

Favorite band as of late: Fitz and The Tantrums

A sample of his set:

“Bad Cover Version” - Jordan Galland (Pulp cover)

“Warning Sign” - Local Natives (Talking Heads cover)

“Funny Little Frog” - God Help the Girl (Belle & Sebastian cover)

“Sleep All Summer” - St. Vincent and The National (Crooked Fingers cover)

“Lovefool” - Kat Edmonson (The Cardigans cover)

“Don’t Think Twice, It’s All Right” - Metric (Bob Dylan cover)

“Nothing Compares 2 U” - Hot Chip (Sinead O’Conner cover)

“Starman” - Dar Williams (David Bowie cover)

dj ellis

BY ELLA BRITTINGHAM

Show Name: “The Morning Lush”

Slot time: Sunday, 6-8 p.m.

Jessica Ellis has a passion for music and entertainment that will inspire anyone trying to finish up his or her last bit of homework before classes start again Monday.

Favorite band as of late: The Black Keys

A sample of her set:

“Black Balloon” - The Kills

“Siren Song” - Bat for Lashes

“Just Like Honey” – The Jesus and Mary Chain

“It Ain’t Gonna Save Me” - Jay Reatard

“Sum of Us” - Jurassic 5

“Beach Party” - Air France

“Elephant Gun” - Beirut

“Pickin’ Up the Pieces” - Fitz and The Tantrums

“POST GRAD”

BY TAS ANJARWALLA & CAILTIN BRADLEY

are cute and funny, but in real life, they’d be truly horrific.

“THE HANGOVER”

Sure, Zach Galifianakis and his beard are hilarious, but we get scared when we don’t remember an hour in Five Points, much less an entire night in Vegas. Stolen cop cars, naked Asian mob bosses and a baby are stressful enough without waking up to a tiger in your room.

“THE LION KING”

a. You watch your father get trampled by a herd of stampeding animals and die. b. Your uncle tells you it’s your fault. c. You eat bugs, and your only friends are a warthog, meerkat and a voodoo-performing baboon.

“THE 40-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN”

While it may not be applicable to some, for those looking to cash in their V-cards, this movie hits a sensitive nerve for the Marys everywhere. Imagine yourself in your 40s still putting the you-know-what on a pedestal.

Alexis Bledel graduates from college and knows exactly where her life is headed, but when she doesn’t land her dream job, she’s forced to move back in with the parentals and to search for work —any work. The movie leaves you with a churning sense of panic and no comfort at all in the fact that you’ll be successful after college. We’d rather check out more exciting options for undecided postgraduates (see page 30!).

“TWILIGHT”

If “Twilight” is supposed to be the story of perfect romance, does that mean the perfect guy is a pasty, wordless bloodsucker whose few real life skills seem to involve jumping on trees and smelling you? And is the perfect girl really supposed to be a hair-pulling, lip-biting whiner who has no friends, interests, career ambitions or life in general? And is it not even remotely scary that Edward is being chased by thousands of fanatic young girls, teenagers and batty soccer moms with vamp stamps?

“CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY”

Since when does dropping Veruca into a furnace (to her own greedy-bitch hell), watching Violet almost inflate to death, shrinking that obnoxious cowboy kid and drowning the fat, foreign one in chocolate constitute as family-friendly fun? Willy Wonka, you are one creepy-ass man (especially when in tunnels).

that weren’t meant to be scary

You may think these films

BY LIZ MCINTYRE

GO! FIGHT! WIN! FIT IN! (And then Kick Ass!)

When you find yourself at Williams-Brice Stadium in a sea of fans that seemingly belong, don’t let yourself stick out in the crowd. Accomplishing this entails hating a rival team that you’d never heard of until logging on to Ticket Return. It entails pretending to know those annoying cheers that you ignored at First Night Carolina. You have to do these things because football in the South is a way of life — and even if it’s not your way of life, you should pretend. Even if you’re just bullshitting.

Clothes: The most important part about a Gamecock football game (besides the game — maybe) is your choice in clothes. What you wear is critical in determining if you really belong, and as a pseudo-fan, my advice is to not go too crazy with your style until you have a better grasp of the game.

So, guys, don’t paint your chests. Don’t wear jerseys — you aren’t Stephen Garcia. A simple black, white or garnet t-shirt with khaki shorts will do. Girls, buy those Gamecock face stickers in bulk. And even if you have that great six-pack summer bod, don’t wear just a sports bra. Everyone has heard about the black dress phenomenon, and if you

haven’t, you shouldn’t be in the South. Make it look like you spent hours scouring the racks of Columbia boutiques by throwing on a pair of garnet beads or buying a dress with some kind of bow, frills or belt. Black dresses aren’t mandatory; garnet ones work, too, but be sure not to cross over into that awkward maroon-y, purple-y color. That’s how we point out the newbs.

Probably everyone’s most important accessory is the large Bojangles’ cup. Even if you have to pick it up off the ground, it scores automatic cool points.

Location: Once you look like a true fan, find the perfect spot to set up shop. To get there, never use a map, and never request directions.

Realize that the Greek tailgates are a wee bit different than the stadium parking lot tailgates and that you run the risk of being creeped on by straight randos if you pick the wrong place. Follow the college students, not the beer-bellied, trucker-hat-wearing drunkards.

“Football in the South is a way of life…and even if it’s not your way of life, you surely can pretend.”

Cheer: Ticket scanned, drinks bought and seat found, you find yourself in the midst of the Carolina football game. Where to go from here? Cheer your ass off. Though the chants may seem silly, timing of these cheers is crucial, and execution is vital. If that is too difficult, watch the ball, and say, “Go (insert player number here)!” It’s a foolproof plan to make it seem like you know what’s going on.

High-fives can be your best friends, worst enemies or frenemies. Don’t be overzealous; only high-five strangers after a touchdown.

Don’t sit down unless everyone around you has. Period.

Love your cocks, but don’t get too cocky.

Understand that heat exhaustion and over-drunkenness ARE possible, and you WILL be escorted out by a stadium cop — and they are legit.

Keep all this in mind, and a true fan could be born. This infallible plan will have you bullshitting even the most serious fan at Williams-Brice Stadium.

BY WILL SAITTA

Last year, I fi nally convinced one of my friends to go to his fi rst Carolina football game. He wore ripped jeans and a black Guns N’ Roses T-shirt. Then, in front of everybody (and halfway through the second quarter), he asks me, “What color are we?”

To the girl I saw at the Georgia game: Yes, tailgating is fun — no, getting wheeled out after the second play because you had too much “juice” is not fun. I am all for tailgating, but come on! If you can’t even make it past “Sandstorm,” you need to reevaluate. Also, do you really want to have to do the roll-of-shame past all your friends and classmates? “Oh yeah! You’re the girl who passed out!”

Last year, I was at the Carolina-Clemson game (which we won 34-17), and I witnessed the most unforgivable of sins: Clemson had the ball — they were driving, and somebody made a big play. The student section was booing and shouting, but this one girl a couple rows in front of me was clapping. She wore a Carolina shirt and even had those temporary tattoos on her face, so at this point I was just confused. Well, somebody decided to call her out on it, and her defense was: “What? He’s cute. I always clap for the cute ones.” No, you don’t. You clap when we win, and you clap louder when Clemson loses!

“Are you a twin bouncer in Five Points? If so, I want your body.” – Second-year public health student

“Looking for: Boombox Guy Walks down Greene Street with boombox on shoulder. Plays ‘Ghostbusters’ on Halloween. Insanely mysterious eyes behind dark sunglasses.” – Boombox Girl

“Facebook is showing you photo memories nowadays, and it’s so f*^%ing annoying. All I keep seeing are memories of my ex and me. It’s like Facebook is saying, ‘Hey, remember this time a year ago when you had an awesome time with this girl?’ I’ve changed my settings so I don’t have to see her pop up on my news feed all the time. Facebook, you know we broke up! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? So, stop asking me to ‘reconnect’ with my ex, thanks.” - Third-year mass communications student

We here at G&B spend hours upon hours in a tiny office, which leads to hours upon hours of raving, bitching and bragging about the outside world. So, we’ve created this column to give you the opportunity to do the same. Think of it as a Rant & Rave meets Missed Connections meets Overheard at South Carolina.

“Sure, Sarah Palin sexualized the entire GOP, but can the girls at College Republicans not turn off voters with their clothes and plunging necklines? The poor policy is enough.” – Fourth-year political science student

“Where the hell do you get a doughnut on this campus? In the morning, I want nothing more than a delicious doughnut to go with my coffee. Dunkin’ Donuts, which was supposedly moving in on Main Street, puts up a sign and teases me with its battery-goodness. I’ve been waiting for some damn Munchkins for a year. Get in the game, DD!” – Fourth-year print journalism student

“F^#k humidity.” - Fourth-year visual communications student

“I frickin’ love the yogurt phenomenon that’s going on right now. I mean, I can get a piling heap of nonfat FroYo without feeling like a complete fat ass I mean, ice cream is good and all, but there’s something about this soft-serve swirly goodness that just makes it better. Sure, I’ll put sprinkles and strawberries and cookie dough and white chocolate chips and brownies and blackberries and more sprinkles and M&Ms and EVERYTHING on this sold-by-the-weight treat! Thanks, trendy treat! I appreciate your sudden takeover of my life.”Second-year biology student

”I love the campus tour groups I see on my way to class. As I see them in the distance, I can anticipate the stares a Horseshoe away, making me feel as if my life is on exhibition for the entertaining education of everybody involved. And to think, I used to send myself encouraging e-mails to make myself feel loved. Thank you, University Ambassadors.” - Fourthyear history student

Oh, no! You just missed the only shuttle to the Coliseum for the next 30 minutes because:

[a] You were in the middle of a break-dancing battle royale.

[b] You were checking the weather, texting and listening to music. Simultaneously

[c] Facebook doesn’t check itself, you know.

[d] You didn’t miss it. You knew exactly when it was scheduled to arrive.

It’s been a long week. Friday afternoon rolls around, and you can’t wait to:

[a] Watch “Saved by the Bell” reruns while chowing down on Ramen noodles.

[b] Put on your flashiest and most expensive clothes and hit the clubs.

[c] Update your Twitter with all the drama that comes with the weekends.

[d] Stay in to catch up on homework; it’s the perfect time to get ahead of everyone else. 3

Finally, it’s Game Day. You’ll be:

[a] Stuck in traffic blasting Heart and playing snare drum on your steering wheel.

[b] Partying in the Cockaboose/ VIP suites with USC’s elites.

[c] Tailgating with the other Greeks on the fairgrounds.

[d] Fist-pumping like a champ in the student section.

4

BY RACHEL JANES

Once again, you slept through your alarm on Monday morning, causing you to miss your 8 a.m. class. With your newfound free time, you:

[a] Go back to sleep.

[b] Head to Starbucks to enjoy your signature cup of coffee.

[c] Catch up on your celebrity gossip and Perez Hilton’s newest blog.

[d] E-mail the professor right away assuring him that it will never, EVER happen again. 5

You agree to be set up on a blind date with your best friend’s classmate. Your dealbreaker would be:

[a] Someone who doesn’t appreciate 80s/90s pop culture.

[b] A cheap date (fast food will just not cut it).

[c] Someone who doesn’t have Skype. How can you stay connected if he or she is stuck in the old days?!

[d] Jean cargo shorts, AKA ”jargos.“

IF YOU MOSTLY ANSWERED...

You’re a Nokia! You love the way life was back in the day — way back in the day. You still pull up your antenna to get a signal, and your phone is the size of a remote control. Forget secretly texting because none of your professors ever confront you since they think your phone is a calculator. You don’t care what people think, and you march to your own beat, which is why people look up to you and admire you. That, and your 80s-inspired wardrobe.

Congratulations, you’re an iPhone! You always go for the flashiest and trendiest items that are on the market because you follow the crowd. You love being the center of attention and the life of the party, much like many of your other friends. Basically, you feel like the world would be slightly less awesome without your presence. You are right.

Guess what — you’re a BlackBerry. It’s surprising that you have time to take a quiz with the busy life that you have! You like to constantly be connected to everyone around you by updating your Twitter or Facebook multiple times a day. You are involved in various clubs, are an avid blogger and are easily recognizable on campus. You and your CrackBerry could take over the world, one story of gossip at a time.

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You are a Droid. You are the new kid on the block which means people don’t really get how amazing you are. You are a well-rounded person capable of handling whatever the world throws at you with class and style. The one pet peeve of yours is people who don’t care about anything because you care about everything. You don’t have to try to be popular; you already are.