Letter from The Hayride: Reveille’s concerning liberal bias

changes, it could become the perfect news site.

Husband to Get Back Home to Let You Outside.” that credibility.

Editor’s note: The following column is satire and the students listed here are all completely fictional.

Dear LSU Reveille, We hope this letter finds you well. We at The Hayride are concerned about the incessant liberal bias of your publication. Sadly, the school’s paper has become a repository for communist propaganda.

After reading the paper, one would think that it was written by Karl Marx himself.

Unfortunately, young minds, even here in the South, have been corrupted by the evil ideology of wokism. You’d be hard-pressed to find a positive story about Republicans or any conservative ideology. We looked through The Reveille archives and couldn’t find a single story about the FBI crime statistics.

The current state of the Reveille is unacceptable, but with a few

EDITORIAL BOARD

Will Nickel Editor-in-Chief

Managing Editor Jayden Nguyen

John Buzbee News Editor

Opinion Columnist Lauren Madden

There should be more conservative voices. Fortunately we have a list of student journalists that applied to our publication that we recommend to you.

Grant Dalton, 21, is an LSU student from Banjo Possum, Louisiana who gained notoriety for his opposition to the integration of his high school in 2020. His column is the biggest reason that Garth Brooks High School still doesn’t allow Irish people in its walls. His talents would be a great addition, but his place will probably be taken by another bleeding-heart liberal.

LSU student Mary Ann Buckley, 20, from Youalreadytoldhertwice, Louisiana, should be heavily considered for her impressive track record in writing. Her article, “Why Women Are Dumb and Should Stay in The Kitchen,” made national headlines and has earned her a sizable following. Her audience will only grow upon the release of her new book, “Barefoot and Pregnant:

12 Activities to Make Your Baby Smarter While You Wait for Your

Beau Hayes, 22, is an LSU student from Armalite, Louisiana. He became the youngest member of the military after forging documents to enlist in the army at 5 years old. His job was originally to befriend Iraqi children to find places with the highest concentrations of civilians, to determine the locations for airstrikes. Hayes’ book, “Hide and Seek Weapons of Mass Destruction: My Time as a Child Soldier and Why We Should’ve Bombed Them More” brought him a level of respect in conservative circles that would be great for The Reveille.

Student journalist Chester Moore, 22, from Machinegun, Louisiana, would be another great addition. Work ethic isn’t an issue for him, he makes a daily 1,000-word post to his pro-gun blog, “Shoot To Kill.” We doubt that anyone at the paper owns a gun and thus isn’t qualified to speak on gun control debates. Moore’s arsenal of more than 600 firearms that he displays on the walls of his house will bring

From what we’ve seen the paper is biased in favor of immigration, LSU student Austin Tucker, 19, from, Buildthewall, Louisiana has become a conservative folk hero. Tucker saw the pictures of illegal immigrant children in cages on the border and was appalled at the size of them. Soon after he went down to the US-Mexico border with an ATV and an AK-47 and rounded up kids crossing the border to put them in bird cages.

The Reveille needs someone to bring balance to the LGBTQ discussion, look no further than 20-yearold blogger Jeb Cooper. His post, “Drag Shows? More Like the Holocaust Against Straight People” was shared more than a million times on 4chan.

Former student Clyde Knox, 22, from Sundowntown, Louisiana, would be another valuable addition. After Knox held protests at the university to make phrenology a major, the school did some digging and found out that he was a ranking member of the KKK, and was formerly the president of the

“KKK Kidz Klub”. After his expulsion, he exploded in the audio sphere with his popular program, “The White Power Podcast.” He was also the author of, “Miscegenation, A Broken Nation: The Many Dangers of Race Mixing.” Whether or not you agree with his politics or his frequent use of racial slurs, he would surely provide a counterweight to the Black nationalist propaganda coming from the current publication.

Our illegitimate president, Joe Biden, is a puppet of Barack Hussein Obama, a communist Muslim terrorist who is responsible for the September 11th attacks and possibly the Oklahoma City bombing. Biden’s Department of Education is going into schools and making children get surgery to change their gender back and forth every day and The Reveille cheers this on. Hire at least two of our suggested candidates and see if balance can be achieved.

Let’s go Brandon. Frank Kidd is a 22-year-old mass communication senior from Springfield, Virginia.

Editorial Policies and Procedures Quote of the Week

The Reveille (USPS 145-800) is written, edited and produced solely by students of Louisiana State University. The Reveille is an independent entity of the Office of Student Media within the Manship School of Mass Communication. Signed opinions are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of the editor, The Reveille or the university. Letters submitted for publication should be sent via e-mail to editor@lsu.edu or delivered to B-39 Hodges Hall. They must be 400 words or less. Letters must provide a contact phone number for verification purposes, which will not be printed. The Reveille reserves the right to edit letters and guest columns for space consideration while preserving the original intent. The Reveille also reserves the right to reject any letter without notification of the author. Writers must include their full names and phone numbers. The Reveille’s editor in chief, hired every semester by the LSU Student Media Board, has final authority on all editorial decisions.

“They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it’s not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance.”

Terry Pratchett

Author and satirist 1948-2015