EMPOWERED TO INSPIRE
January - March 2013
ONE COW PER FAMILY One woman’s profound story
Aloisea
COVER STORY
Inyumba
Drumming by women Women deserve my respect Public Pays tribute Issue No. 07
present Status: Angel in heaven
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CONTENTS PUBLISHER FALCON G. NDIRIMA EDITOR Lillian M. Ndrima CONTRIBUTORS ANN ANJAO A.K.Otiti MARY AKAZUBA CLAIRE ADUVUKA IZELA BARLOW EFUA HAGAN Patricia Kamikazi SHANITAH NYARWAYA Athan Tashobya Jesse Kimani FALCON G. NDIRIMA
PHOTOGRAPHY Glance Media Ltd DESIGN AND LAYOUT GLANCE MEDIA LTD
05
Feedback
06
Count them blessings and name them
08
Aloisea Inyumba Present status: angel in heaven
11
How I met Hon. Inyumba
12
Public pays tribute to the late Aloisea Inyumba
13
Hon. Inyumba at a glance
14
One cow per poor family
19
Rwandair: Looking back 10 years
20
Women deserve my respect
22
How to melt a man’s heart
24
The 8th edition of FESPAD is back
28
Matters tradition
32
This season: The Red Label
36
Drumming by women
42
Helping children understand culture
SALES & MARKETING
GLANCE MEDIA LTD
P. O. Box 4665 Kigali, Centenary House, 2nd Floor, Kigali - Rwanda
www.thedivamagazine-rw.com
All rights reserved. Production is whole or in part without written permission is strictly prohibited. The name The DIVA is a registered trademark of Glance Media Ltd. Liberty; while every care is taken in the preparation of this magazine the publishers cannot be held responsible for the accuracy of information herein or any consequences arising from it.
editor’s note “Fare thee well, friend and champion of The Diva magazine.” You will meet these words somewhere in this issue because we, at The Diva, have purposefully chosen to celebrate one woman who literally gave her life to Rwanda: Honorable Aloisea Inyumba. The late Honorable Inyumba was such a remarkable woman that even as we wept that she had left us physically, no words can ever sufficiently explain the impact she had on this nation. Her achievements too cannot be contained in any space. In as little a way as possible, we pay her tribute, with the public especially having one or two things to say about her. The Swahili from the coast of East Africa have a saying, “Mwacha mila ni mtumwa,” a proverb that underscores the importance of preserving culture. Literally, the proverb means that people who turn away from their culture become slaves to the new culture. Our topical feature therefore explores the changes that are evident in our culture by featuring diverse views from the public. From Nyungwe Forest Lodge comes one lady determined to keep culture alive by drumming away. FESPAD is back, and we anticipate an explosion of a delightful cultural extravaganza this February-March. Your views matter to us and we take them very seriously. Consequently, we have introduced two columns in response to your suggestions. One is a story from our rural areas. Here is a woman who has not only succeeded with Heifer International’s One Cow per Poor Family project but has also received international recognition for it. Secondly, we have introduced ‘Manspeak,’ a column that will be written specifically by gentlemen who will be addressing issues affecting women from a man’s perspective. For instance, do you know what would melt a man’s heart? Read on. As usual, the magazine is loaded with many stories that not only inform but entertain as well, right from parenting, art and design, all the way to cookery. As you read along, do not forget to drop your queries to Aunt Umulisa who will gladly respond. To our readers and advertisers, we say thank you for walking with us. We wish you all a healthy and prosperous 2013.
Lillian
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Jan - Mar 2013
Your Feedback! a has ever seen. It “The DIVA magazine is a very nice magazine… one of the best Rwand o. would be nice to also read stories from the village.” Gasonga, Kicukir of fact, I didn’t know “Diva, to be honest, your magazine has inspired me. As a matter more great things we would have such a beautiful magazine in Rwanda… it shows that are yet to come.” Molly, Nyarutarama. read “The Diva boosted my confidence. It’s this kind of a magazine you in this have to g amazin It’s . woman and feel the significance of being a Rwanda”. Charity, Kimironko. composition. “I love the quality of pictures, the flow of stories and the whole n) are pushed May be I would ask The Diva team to go deep in fashion, we (wome , Kiyovu. Aurore !” please up, it Keep to buy what is new and fancy in the market. “The Diva, you are taking women to another level. You are giving women a platform to air out their social views. You are educating and inspiring. It’s a great innovation... God bless the hands that are putting all this together” Dorothy, Kimironko. it “May I ask The Diva team to put its magazine online, so we can access and even here? My sister brought me a copy when she came to visit me g I loved everything about The Diva Magazine. Thanks a lot for bringin of lives the in impact an g causin standards to the Rwandan print media and women.” Doreen, India. are trying to change “The DIVA is a very unique magazine in the history of Rwanda. You . Keep it up!” woman a woman’s mindset. Showing us that everything is possible for a Cleo, Remera. out… “I suggest you publish another magazine for men. We (men) are losing are you believe I The Diva is a very educational and inspiring magazine. Gikondo. touching many lives! Please, think about my suggestion.” Mathew,
Editor’s note: that will Please note that beginning this issue, we have introduced a column on your work to our exclusively cover stories from the village. We will endeav suggestions as much as possible. Please keep them coming.
You can pick your free copy at all Bourbon Coffee outlets, Ikirezi Book Shop & Kigali Public Library Jan - Mar 2013
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devotion
COUNT THEM
BLESSINGS
AND NAME THEM By Anne Anjao
“When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed, When you are discouraged thinking all is lost Count your many blessings name them one by one, And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.”
An age old hymn, famous and
alive. God has blessed us today
their bit? Of course we have
• Our nation is secure.
popular no doubt but with a
with the gift of life. I recall
exceptions but most parents
Perhaps no other nation in
profound, prolific, productive
about 10 years ago when I lost
genuinely care for their children
the region enjoys the security
message ever written. Written
my favourite cousin. He had
and want the best for them.
Rwanda has. This must be the
by Johnson Oatman, Jr., and
just come from the Rift Valley
We realize how blessed we are
only nation in East Africa where
composed by Edwin Excell who
on an assignment when he
in gatherings such as weddings
you leave the bank carrying
created the tune, the hymn is a
told his wife he was not well
and funerals. The support is
loads of cash in a brown sugar
most befitting way to begin the
and went straight to bed. He
usually overwhelming.
bag (and everyone knows
year: with thanksgiving.
said he had started feeling
it’s money you are carrying)
unwell around the Limuru area
• We have friends. Of course
without being wrestled to the
Many of us are wont to
while they were driving back
there isn’t a single soul that
ground and having your sweat
complain easily and quickly
to Nairobi. However, 5 minutes
would say they have not been
taken away from you. You can
than we are to give God thanks.
later, unable to sleep, he really
let down by a friend. But then
sleep soundly through the night
As we begin a fresh year and
felt he needed to go to hospital.
again there are times when
without engaging the services
reflect on what He has done,
To Aga Khan Hospital they
friends have done more for
of a guard or mean looking
the best thing we can do is
went and as his wife completed
us than all our relatives put
Alsatians.
simply look back, count every
formalities of cards and
together. Again it depends
blessing and name it one by
payments, he felt he could hold
on how well we choose our
• Sound leadership. Rwanda
one. Yes, last year might have
it no longer. James excused
companions.
is blessed with visionary,
been a hard year for you:
himself when he knocked on
business went down, you lost
the doctor’s door, saying he
• God has given us children.
the nation. Here is a country
a loved one, your divorce was
knew the doctor had a patient
I do not mean to upset the
blessed with an accountable
finalized, your child was sick and
but would he take a look at
barren who have faith that God
leadership. You are guaranteed
admitted in hospital, and the list
him? The doctor quickly took
will perform a miracle. Whether
services wherever you go
goes on.
one look at him, abandoned
they are our biological children
without bribing anyone.
his previous client and hastily
or not, children are such
Here is a leadership that has
However, God did not promise
mobilized his support unit.
beautiful beings to have around
taken women issues to heart
a trouble free life. In fact when
When his wife returned, she
us. Their innocence, childlike
such that even young girls
Jesus prayed, He asked God
was puzzled but soon realized
beliefs, sense of humour and
below marriageable age are
not to take his disciples out of
the commotion next door had
radiant cheer are just some of
protected.
a trouble-ridden society, but
got to do with her husband
the benefits we receive from
rather to strengthen his people
who was now being rushed
them.
to endure the challenges which
to the ICU. Within 5 minutes, it
will always be there.
was all over-life having ebbed
• We have a place to call
sorrow. If you are discouraged
Look around you. How bountiful
out of him when he suffered a
home. I am cognizant of the
for one reason or another, sit
and plentiful are the blessings
massive cardiac arrest.
fact that some people are
down and in the quietness of
homeless. Yet even they have
Godly meditation, count your
• We have family. We may
something to be grateful to
blessings and name them one
of the Lord that you cannot possibly count them! Let’s try.
serious leaders who care for
Oh the blessings of the Lord are innumerable! And they add no
have lost some or all of them
God for. It could be peace of
by one. You will be surprised
• We are alive. Okay some
but people who stepped in
mind she enjoys in contrast to
you cannot possibly pack them
of us could be sick, bereaved,
their shoes are now our family.
the one living in a mansion and
in a suitcase for the suitcase
depressed but it doesn’t nullify
Oh where would we be if
battling BP and Diabetes.
will burst at the seams! Enjoy a
the fact that we are alive. Yes,
mother and father didn’t do
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Jan - Mar 2013
blessed New Year.
WE CARE THAT YOU PROVIDE OR RECEIVE FIRST CLASS SERVICE Why should we care about customer care? Rwanda’s Vision 2020 goal is to become a middle income country (GDP of $ 1,200) eight years from now. The strategy identified to meet this goal is to turn Rwanda into a regional hub for services as well as a favoured destination for international tourism and investment. For such a strategy to succeed, we, Rwandans, must discard the “culture of mediocrity” and adopt more customer-friendly behaviours in order to compete favourably in the region as well as on the world stage.
What is RDB’s role in this? RDB’s mission is to fast track economic development in order to achieve the social and economic goals we, as a nation, have set. These goals are outlined in the Millennium Development Goals, the Economic Development and Poverty Reduction Strategy and Vision 2020. One of RDB’s top priorities is to improve customer care, which is at the core of a thriving service industry, in order reach parity and even exceed regional standards.
Do
What is RDB doing to improve customer care? RDB has launched a campaign called “Na Yombi” to put customer care at the top of the mind of all Rwandans and to change the mindset and behaviors of service providers through mass communication and training. In 2012 we hope to reach 1,000,000 people with various messages and train approximately 5,000 people to impart them with skills in customer care.
What can I do to join in this effort? RDB’s Customer Care Unit is setting up a partnership with corporations and private citizens so that together we can conquer the challenges and obstacles that prevent us from attaining world class standards of hospitality and customer satisfaction. Please visit our website www.rdb.rw/nayombi, to learn more. Please also refer to these simple and easy to remember rules of excellence in customer care which appear on the next page and you will be contributing to a positive environment for customer care no matter your current occupation.
• Greet, say: Welcome, please and thank you. These are words you need to incorporate into your
vocabulary and use them as frequently as possible. • Say: Excuse me and I’m sorry when you did not understand someone, when someone is in your way, or when you inadvertently did something incorrectly. • Be friendly, smile when it’s appropriate and focus attention on your customer. • Have information pertaining to your business or place of work on your fingertips or direct the customer to someone who does. • Inform the customer of the duration it takes to complete the service he/she requires. • Take criticism positively; thank customers for bringing complaints to your attention. • Listen actively and display empathy when a customer complains. • Follow up on customer complaints and inform them of action taken. • Treat customers like kings or queens; promise less and deliver more.
Don’t
• Ignore those who visit to your place of work, office or business. • Ignore or take lightly mistakes or acts of negligence, even if you think they are minor. • Take personal phone-call, smoke, eat and chew gum in the presence of your customers. • Say I don’t know, it’s not my job, be patient (ihangane) or just walk away without a comment such as “I am going to find out”. • Make promises you can’t keep. Keep socialising with your co-workers/colleagues while a customer is waiting. • Look distracted, bored or unconcerned, annoyed or worse, argue when a customer complains. • Ignore to follow up on customer complaints or to provide feedback on what was done. • Argue or try to justify why things went wrong. • Treat customers with indifference.
If you apply these few rules every day you will have contributed a great deal to making Rwanda a pleasant and more inviting place for business. It will benefit everyone, including you. Jan - Mar 2013
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cover story
Aloisea
Inyumba
Present Status: Angel in Heaven
By A.K.Otiti 8
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Jan - Mar 2013
I looked up to the sky as the coffin holding the body of Aloisea Inyumba was being lowered into the ground on Monday 10th December 2012, and it was dark. As bestselling author Max Lucado says, I am ‘counting on heaven to make sense of this earth.’ The knowledge that Inyumba is in heaven was the only light in that dark sky. I was introduced to Aloisea Inyumba about four years ago and that started a relationship that spanned between a friendship and work as personal Assistant to her as Senator and later Communications Assistant to her as Minister of Gender and Family Promotion. A short and precious interaction with one of the most amazing women I have met. Because of her modesty, Inyumba was happy to give an interview on the Rwandese Patriotic Front (R.P.F) and the liberation struggle and the advancement of women in Rwanda but not any for a personal profile. She was reluctant to give in to my pleas that she was an example to many and it would really be nice for her to share what she believed and how she did what she did. Today, I get to do something I would have loved to do at least three years ago – write about my boss and friend Honourable Aloisea Inyumba.
Aloisea Inyumba was a loving, courageous, strong, selfless, respectful, hard working woman of integrity full of humility. Early this year, Honourable Inyumba was awarded the ‘Women have Wings Courage Award’, a befitting honour for she was indeed a very courageous woman. The strength of her spirit and determination was displayed in whatever she set herself to do and the way she took on the ailment that claimed her life. For her, there had to be a way to do what needed to be done, and it was always to benefit someone else and not herself; needless to say that filled her days. Some people live their lives in fast forward, they have so much to accomplish in so short a time. It seems like Inyumba was one of those in a hurry to get done more than what one person could in a single lifetime. Many a
time we would work late into the night before she left the country to prepare presentations for a conference or meeting because she would be too busy until she had to leave and often corrections would go back and forth on email as she packed and she would be reading a draft on the flight.
of accountability. Inyumba rarely carried cash and money was never her motivation for anything she did. The only honorarium she needed was to pay her room and board. All she cared for in terms of earthy pleasures was Business Class on her frequent travels so that she could be comfortable and rest on the flight. That was because she always hit the ground running preferring to travel and arrive just in time for meetings and leaving as soon as flight connections could allow. Unlike many women, she did not care for shopping and did not like to spend money on herself.
She was a woman of absolute integrity foremost in her dealing with finances. She had a remarkable capability to raise funds for whatever needed to be done and for just causes she was involved in and she was very cautious that those funds be ‘I am going to spent in Although she is ask Richard the most greatly loved by to buy me an frugal many, Inyumba’s automatic car manner. life was not and then maybe always easy and This trait I will drive.’ served she went through the R.P.F some tough well during times in her life the days of the struggle and and faced opposition like when she told the story, she many politicians do, but she emphasized the importance was not the kind to hold a Jan - Mar 2013
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grudge. As an ambassador of reconciliation, she led by example. She was simple and approachable, treating people from all walks of life with great respect. Lines of people needing to see her kept her long hours in the office, listening to people, advising others and trying to solve some problem or other. Then she would take these problems personally and seek to find lasting solutions. Inyumba did all she did out of love and her top three loves were: 1. Rwanda 2. Women and children and 3. Her family. She gave her life for Rwanda in more ways than one over the years. She had a simple way of telling the story of the R.P.F struggle and what ‘our’ party as she called it, stood for. She had a deep respect for the President and First Lady Jeanette Kagame and every leader of the institutions under whom she served. Her passion was to bring every 10
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Rwandan back home to work together to build Rwanda. The unity of the people of Rwanda was her dream and she believed as a Christian that people needed to experience the love of God and see themselves as mere human beings before a great God and so accept one another and treat each other well. Inyumba cared for the poor and vulnerable especially the women and children. She cried many tears over stories of widows and orphans, women living in situations of dire poverty and victims of gender based violence and worked hard and long to improve their lives. However her deep desire and pursuit for the advancement of women went beyond the poor and beyond the borders of Rwanda and encompassed women all over the world. She yearned for women leaders to give their very best and for those who had plenty to give to help the less advantaged and to speak out on behalf of the downtrodden.
Inyumba loved her family dearly. She was a dedicated wife and mother. Her only regret was possibly that she did not spend as much time with her family as she did on her work. That is a challenge many women of her caliber face. She and her husband Richard were best friends. Her most treasured moment of the day, she shared, was praying with her husband in the morning and she drew a lot of strength from that. When she was faced with a difficult decision, she would say ‘I am going to ask Richard what he thinks’ or ‘let me discuss with Richard and see’. She said on many occasions her husband’s encouragement and support were her strength. She was the mother of two wonderful children, stories about whom we cried tears of joy and thanked God for. She often talked about the sisters she so dearly loved and always marveled at how they still treated her like their beloved ‘little’ sister and showered her with gifts.
She cried many tears over stories of widows and orphans, women living in situations of dire poverty and victims of gender based violence Her time was precious little and had to be spent on the big picture for example, Inyumba did not drive. Recently I said to her, you really need to drive because you see for security reasons or maybe emergencies,’ she looked at me and smiled and said ‘I am going to ask Richard to buy me an automatic car and then maybe I will drive.’ She had this way of very gently showing me that I was concerned about things that did not really matter to her. She did not like cooking and jokingly said that one day soon she was going to retire, go for cooking classes and spend time preparing exotic dishes. Maybe now, rested from the troubles of this earth, she is cooking in heaven and driving round the streets of gold. Rest in peace Honourable Aloisea Inyumba.
How i met
Hon. Inyumba Publisher’s Note: Falcon G Ndirima
I am sure a lot has been written about the late Hon Inyumba. Everyone has a piece that they would share about the departed heroine of Rwanda. In trying to put down something, I realized that it would be difficult to write on what someone else has not written. However, not all was lost because I knew how I met Hon Inyumba would make good reading and pay her tribute as well.
The presentation was quite easy. She bought the idea from the word go and became so excited about the project, making statements like, “Where have you people been? These are the kind of initiatives that we have been looking for,” etc. She had a way of making you feel a genius. She was such an encouragement. We planned on the way forward and The aura around parted on a her made you very friendly forget that you and high note.
I first met her personally after she became were talking to the Minister a minister. With a lot of Gender on her plate, and Family she was often very busy that Promotion. I went to see her at times her phone went with the proposal to start unanswered. But she always The Diva magazine. It was made it a point to call back a difficult time for us, a time irrespective of the time. when everyone we talked to Sometimes she would call liked the idea, but no one was back around midnight to tell willing or ready to commit me that she hadn’t been able support for one reason or to pick the calls due to the another. It was a time when long meetings she had and we were starting to rethink was then heading home! We our strategy. became so close in that period that whenever she would not I asked for an appointment pick up her calls, I would keep and got it promptly. When calling and if she still didn’t I walked into her office, I pick, I would go to her office was met by a simple, warm, and pitch camp. Sometimes I down- to- earth personality. thought I was pushing it, but The aura around her made the moment she escorted you forget that you were someone out of her office and talking to a minister. We saw me…..I would encounter shared a little light talk and her usual infectious laughter plunged into the gist of but this time with a tinge of the meeting. She was very guilt accompanied by these attentive, very understanding.
words: “haa noneho uranyica, nyihanganira gato”(You will kill me this time. Please bear with me. I will see you in a bit) and she would arrange to make some time for me.
I must say I was terribly grieved to learn of Inyumba’s death. It was even more heart breaking to see the same children I had interacted with at the office bidding farewell to their mother. Gone was one of the strongest pillars of The Diva magazine. Gone was a courageous champion of women’s affairs. Gone was a warm, loving, unique individual who never got embroiled in the trappings of power and position.
She was such an open and We, from The Diva magazine, easy person. She would along with the entire nation, easily discuss her family .For grieve her loss. We will keep example what her children the candle burning for her had said about certain things. dreams to materialize. One story that sticks in my mind is that of Nicole, her Fare thee well, friend and daughter, who had said she champion of The Diva had been lucky to have been magazine. born after the genocide. Otherwise, she probably May you rest in the eternal wouldn’t be alive and thought of herself as a survivor. Talking loving arms and bliss of the Father. of family, my short encounter with the children was once at the office when Noah her son and his sister Nicole came to see their mom. I believe they had taken some time without seeing her at home. She had someone in the office at the time so the children had to wait a bit. Nicole sat patiently but Noah seemed like he was sitting on ants. He was very restless. So Jane the assistant at the time asked if he wanted She had a way to go see of making you mummy, feel a genius. but before she could finish her sentence, Noah was already at the door. That’s probably the only time I left without seeing the minister. Jan - Mar 2013
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Public Pays
tribute to the late Aloisea Inyumba By Mary Akazuba
Alice Kayumba, Receptionist The late Inyumba was a very kind woman with Christian virtues. She had her nation at heart and I loved the fact that she was so down to earth. I only hope that the other ministers emulate her and keep her humility and great love for this nation. She is among the few ministers I am very sure used to go to church though I don’t know about the rest.
Grace Uwimana, Kicukiro resident I was so impressed with her dedication to improving the livelihoods of women and family as a whole. She is one of the women leaders who I saw come out and speak about the issue of revising maternity leave to give mothers enough time to heal after giving birth. I hope her legacy lives on. 12
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The late Aloisea Inyumba was the Minister of Gender and Family Promotion who passed away at the age of 48. She succumbed to cancer late last year. The late Inyumba held several leadership positions since 1994 among which included being the Ministry of Gender twice ; after the 1994 Genocide against the Tutsi, and then from May, 2011 until her death. She also served as the head of the National Unity and Reconciliation Commission (NURC), Governor of the former Kigali Ngali province, and Senator in the parliament. Below are excerpts of what different ordinary people thought about her;
Ines Ineza, 3rd year Junior Mugisha, Painter and student Builder She was a kindhearted, honest woman and a Patriot. She was a role model to many including me because every time I would hear her speak passionately about issues affecting women, I would be so touched with her enthusiasm and just longed to be like here when I am old enough to be a leader too.
I just know Inyumba as a good woman with a motherly heart. Seemed like she had so many people who like her and I believe it’s because she treated everyone, despite their background, with respect. She cared about the needs of people and she served very well during her time as a Minister.
Jackie Dusabe, secretary I remember when she came to officially open Nyamata Hospital when I was a student at Nyamata High School. She
Martin Musemakweri, Airtime Vendor in Kimihurura She was an exemplary leader; one you would never hear anyone say something negative about. She also used to dress very decently and well, the few times I saw her on Television. She was exemplary to our sisters and daughters and I only hope they take up her good morals, character and uprightnessto be like her when I am old enough to be a leader too.
had very encouraging words I have never forgotten, and I always grew up knowing I should emulate her. She led an exemplary life.
at a
glance Hon. Inyumba
• Hon Aloisea Inyumba was the Minister of Gender and Family Promotion from May 2011 to the time of her demise. • Before that she had served as Senator in the National Senate of Rwanda from 2004. As a Senator, she served on two committees: Foreign Affairs, Cooperation and Security Committee and Political Affairs and Good Governance Committee. • She was an active member of the Rwanda Women Parliamentary Forum. • Between 1999-2001, she was appointed by his Excellency the President as First Secretary of the National Unity and Reconciliation Commission. • She was the first Minister of Gender and Social Affairs from 1994-1999. • She served as a member of the Board of Directors of the Institute of Research and Dialogue for Peace and was a member of the African Women Advisory Committee and also an advisor on several other committees. • She joined RPF at a tender age and was in charge of mobilization of resources, articulating the RPF political ideology and recruiting cadres to the movement.
Background • Inyumba was born in 1964 in a family of 6 children. Her father died in the 1963-1964 massacres in Rwanda which targeted the Tutsi.
in International Relations from Irish American University and an honorary doctorate from La Roche College in the United States of America. • She was married to Dr Richard Masozera for almost 17 years whom she met during the struggle to liberate Rwanda. • She has left behind a husband, two children Nicole Akarezi(16) and Noah Cyeza(8), a mother, siblings Angelina, Alphonsine, Alfred, many friends and family members.
Recognition • Rwanda gained recognition through Hon. Inyumba when as the Minister of Gender and Family Promotion, she won the ‘Women have Wings Courage Award’ in early 2012. • It was an inaugural award that will be given annually and will go to outstanding women from around the world living the courageous spirit of Amelia Earhart. Amelia Earhart was the first pilot to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean and was the first woman to receive the US Distinguished Flying Cross. She was also author of many books on aviation and inspired many women to take an interest in the aviation industry. • The award recognizes the courageous strides Inyumba made to further the rights of all people in her country. The ‘Women have Wings’ team was impressed by Hon. Inyumba’s courage and determination to promote peace in Rwanda. • Her political work shone a light on the importance of women in government positions. ‘The US has much to learn from Rwanda in this regard,’ wrote the ‘Women have Wings’ team.
• She was awarded a degree in Social Work and Social Administration from Makerere University, a masters degree Jan - Mar 2013
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from the village
One Cow Per Poor Family One woman’s profound story
By Anne Anjao
Courtesy of Heifer International It is hard to believe or even understand how one cow can make a difference in someone’s life, but it did for one simple village woman who is registering great success in Gahengeri Village, Muhazi Sector, Rwamagana District. Her compound is very small, a mere 1 ½ hectares, but in here lies a transformed livelihood, thanks to the one cow per family programme. A quick survey and one realizes this family is not doing badly at all. Water and electricity by EWSA have been extended into their home and their cooking is done by gas using biogas derived from cow dung and urine. Meet Enice Uwimpuhwe, recipient of The Golden Talent Award by Heifer International Foundation for industrious use of resources to create 14
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a sustainable income, while serving other families and the community. The award is normally given to individuals who have displayed exceptional achievements in converting minimal resources into a sustainable source of income. The award came with a USD 200 package for Uwimpuhwe and USD 800 for the community. Uwimpuhwe did deserve
the award going by her background. She is an orphan who initially struggled in life due to low food production. Previously, meeting her daily needs was a very tall order, but this is now a thing of the past. Her fortunes started changing way back in 2007 when she received a Friesian cow from the government through Heifer InternationalRwanda. They named it “Hope” due to the high
expectations then throbbing in their hearts. Enice and her husband, Simparikubwabo Thomas, joined a farmers’ association called Uruhimbi in 2007, which changed to Kamirabose Cooperative in 2009. The first calf was a male which she kept but gave away the second heifer in accordance with the terms of provision of the initial cow.
(This heifer she gave away to a neighbor has since given birth). Uwimpuhwe now has 3 heifers with the original cow pregnant at the moment. From abject want, Uwimpuhwe’s life is now one of abundance. She gets about 35 litres of milk a day from which she sells 20, uses 9 and gives away 6 litres to neighbours. Cooperatives such
From abject want, Uwimpuhwe’s life is now one of abundance. as one by the Development Bank of Rwanda (BRD), have come in handy. BRD have established Milk Collection Centres where milk is collected and where other services are offered such as artificial insemination, savings and credit accounts opened to access banking services among others.
with my family. My husband sells second hand clothes thus supplements the family income,” she adds. She is also able to pay fees for her children including two orphans under her care. Moreover, they have been able to extend their once temporary 2-bedroomed house to a permanent 4-bedroomed house. Another thing that gladdens Uwimpuhwe’s heart is that the cows are insured by Sonarwa in case of death in which case Sonarwa will replace them. Her cows have been insured for a sum of 120,000 Rwf. What is more, one can access a loan using this Sonarwa insurance as a form of collateral.
“Life is a lot better now. I can afford to pay for water and electricity from Ewsa and cook using gas instead of firewood which is not good for environmental conservation,” says Uwimpuhwe.
The married mother of three children, 2 girls and a boy aged 10,9 and 4, says prior to the government’s intervention, she had no knowledge of modern farming methods. She was privileged to train in Kenya and Uganda in different farming methods. Her small farm is now very productive. She has learnt to process cow dung to be used as manure.
In addition, I can afford medical cover, TV and even have more time to spend
It is not all rosy however, for the soft spoken Uwimpuhwe. She acknowledges that hard
work is clearly involved. For instance, the young cow does not suckle. Instead, it is fed milk in bottles right from birth meaning someone must do this work diligently. Different types of grass are grown to feed the cows. Each cow takes 5 bundles of grass and 7 twenty litre jerry cans of water per day. This is hard work.
are encouraged, to check on the health and progress of the cows,” he says. Heifer InternationalRwanda(HPI) is keen on the success of these projects hence they advise farmers on how to go about it. Farmers are advised to build the 4 shed Heifer model where one shed is used for sleeping, another for eating, another for milking and the last one for calving. There is also an area for exercising. Heifer International-Rwanda is a project with objectives of improving livestock production, especially from cows and supporting
Of course challenges do exist. For starters, her land is small for all the grass needed by the cows so she has to buy to supplement this. Then the cows need mineral supplements. The worst perhaps is disease which threatens the lives The sky is not the limit for this of these optimistic lady with boundless animals. energy. According to Blaise Ufiteyezu, a veterinary doctor with Heifer International- Rwanda, who is based in Rwamagana, the area is sensitive to tick bone disease and so there has to be regular spraying of the cows. “If left unchecked, the cost of treating a cow can reach 100,000Rwf which is prohibitive for the farmer. That’s why regular vet checks
Rwandans with low incomes country-wide by giving them Jersey and Friesian cows and many more requirements that go hand in hand with cattle rearing. The sky is not the limit for this optimistic lady with boundless energy. Her dreams include starting a poultry farm and buying a pick up to transport her milk, eggs and bananas.
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career
Transformational Organizational
Culture By Claire Aduvuka
A friend of mine confesses that in her short working life of about five plus years, she has had the privilege of working for about five companies, each with different backgrounds and cultures that either made or broke the organization. But the last one took the prize for being the organisation with the poorest organizational culture, notwithstanding the fact that this particular organization’s mission is to help organizations streamline their cultures to be able to deliver on the brand promise.
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an indicator of a malignant A typical day in the problem. aforementioned organization would start with one getting Coming from a to work, and depending on transformational leadership how the manager checked in type of background, it became on that day; you would know difficult for my friend to whether you were going to reconcile with what was have a good day or a long going on there. Employees in one. If she came in all happy and saying hi to everyone, the any organisation are always looking for a conducive day was good but woe unto and supportive working the employees if she walked environment that gives to sulkily by without a word. On those days, she Employees in any would pick organisation are always on anyone looking for a conducive who would and supportive working definitely environment that gives to go home them as much as they are that day giving to an organisation. feeling really miserable. Never would them as much as they are she apologize or act like giving to an organisation. And she did anything wrong. For people with a weak resolve or the main thing that ails most small organisations is the low self-esteem, this had the fact that there are no clear tendency of either breaking structures and systems on them or building resentment how things should work. towards her. The lethargy within the organisation had built up to a point where people no longer cared about the job and just did the bare minimum that was required because when they did their best, they never got the appreciation that they deserved. In most cases, they were always put down for their mistakes and never appraised for the good work they were doing. The morale in the whole organisation went down to a point where employees started resigning out of frustration and lack of fulfillment. And for a small organization of 12 employees, to have an employee turnover of over 50% in a year is
Organisations with well set up structures and relationships work on a plug and play, regardless of who is in and who is not and even when someone new comes on board, they just plug in and the organization continues unhindered. It is from this that most large organisations excel since everything is laid into place and even if the people may not be the best, the organizations still succeed. Organizations that lack these structures and systems always struggle, especially if someone leaves or does not have a clear understanding of the task. The lack of a uniform culture throughout
the organization, with people coming in with their own culture, can make an organization look like a chaotic market place. One of leadership’s greatest lessons is that you should praise in public and rebuke in private, especially if you want an individual to grow and also feel respected and appreciated. Having been a leader in many a teams and organizations, I have found out that the moment you embarrass someone, it affects their morale, and even their respect for you diminishes leading to either rebellion or breaking of the team spirit. But when you praise in public and rebuke the person for their mistakes in person, they respect you more and end up working harder because they see that their effort is being appreciated so their morale goes up.
above, there are people who had worked there for a year and they still did not quite understand what the organization did in a lay man’s terms. All they ever received when they came in was a company profile with huge complex words that left them more confused. Small things like this make the difference between the best and the rest when it comes to excelling in the market place and in retaining talent within the organisation. This week I learnt that systems and structures in an organisation can make an organization that has an average product and average employees succeed more in the market place than one with a better product and smart employees. Uniting the different employees in an organisation under one conducive environment called culture makes that all important difference. This way, talent within the
It is pertinent for organizations to create structures that enable employees to learn more The lack of a uniform about their culture throughout the own jobs. This organization, with people can be from coming in with their own day one when culture, can make an employees organization look like a come into the chaotic market place. organisation. This is where structures come in because in large organizations, organization will be retained while building a strong brand you are integrated into the in the market place. system and orientated on how things work until you understand and fit into the organization’s structure and culture. In the dysfunctional organization mentioned Jan - Mar 2013
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Inspire • Empower • Build
November - December 2011
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PROMOTING GENDER EQUALITY THROUGH EDUCATION IN RWANDA
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April - June 2012
When we have no choice
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Women speak out SHARE LIFE:
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WE ALL WANT TO BE GOOD MUMS! Issue No. 02
corporate
10 years Looking back
Putting the next 10 in perspective Rwanda, which most would consider landlocked in the heart of Africa, is emerging as a powerful nation of opportunities and investments. This tiny little country has come a long way. The 1994 genocide is the most devastating phase of its history, where close to a million people lost their lives to one of the most horrible genocides of the last century. Its economy did not survive either. But in a little less than two decades, Rwanda has made wonderful progress.
recently re-opened its routes to Kigali thanks to a fiercely determined RwandAir shading light on Rwanda’s potential aviation industry. Rwanda’s commitment to peace and security, zero-tolerance to fraud, and the establishment of development catalyzers form a powerful economic magnet. In 2009, RwandAir made a swift shift from being a fleet borrower to a fleet owner. The airline changed its name and was rebranded to RwandAir to be the country’s flag bearer to the destinations it serves. RwandAir hasn’t been the same ever since.
Since inception in December 2002, RwandAir celebrates 10 RwandAir years today. owns and The aviation On December operates a industry was 22nd, 2012, fleet of 7, in ruins when RwandAir for the and has been RwandAir first time hit the acquiring, in was born. 2,000 passengers double order, First named cap on a given day. new fleet as Rwandair every year. Its Express, the most recent airline kicked acquisitions are the two “Sky off its operations using an Interior” Boeing 737-800 (the old, leased fleet and offered first in Africa) in 2011, and a few routes in neighboring two Bombardier CRJ-900 countries. At that time other in 2012 (the first in Eastern airlines fled in Rwanda, Africa). Every year since 2009, namely Brussels Airlines RwandAir has progressively (formerly known as Sabena), expanded its network, with Ethiopian Airways and South a total of 14 destinations African Airways. The latter today. The most recent are lost interest at first, but
Mwanza in Tanzania, Lagos in Nigeria, and Dubai in UAE. The combination of these two growth facts are the basis of RwandAir’s proud moniker of “The Fastest Growing Airline in Africa”. On December 22nd, 2012, RwandAir for the first time hit the 2,000 passengers cap on a given day. Operating from Kigali as its hub, RwandAir is making economists reconsider the “landlockeity” of Rwanda since air transportation is bearing so much promise and proves to offer an alternative to road transportation. Qatar Airlines, Turkish Airlines, Brussels Airlines, KLM, Ethiopian Airways, and Kenya Airways opened their networks to Kigali. Yet in the face of these giants RwandAir is no small player in the way it is differentiating itself from the rest. RwandAir is a small bust fast growing airline. The airline will stay this course of network expansion and fleet acquisition for the next 10 years, reaching the farEast Asian nations of India and China, Europe and the Americas. Rwanda is well positioned to link Eastern, Western, Northern and
The airline will stay this course of network expansion and fleet acquisition for the next 10 years, reaching the FarEast Asian nations of India and China, Europe and the Americas. Southern Africa. Very soon the airline will be opening its 15th route to Zanzibar. Since a year ago RwandAir has been selling tickets to the world via its website. Its strongest asset is its people, and for this RwandAir is working tirelessly to improve the quality of its services and placing its resources under regulatory scrutiny. Employment rates are shooting up. A new, bigger airport is in the works; the current one is under renovation and expansion and the country’s economy is doing very well. The world wants to take part in this transformation, and RwandAir is ensuring that Rwandans travel across and discover the world and bring back the next big thing, whatever it may be. Jan - Mar 2013
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manspeak
deserve my respect By Jesse Kimani
There is a great fallacy in town: that culturally, men are the stronger sex. I am almost sure men will want to strangle me for betraying the course, whatever that may be. It is a fact that tradition and culture have inculcated in most of us men into thinking that we are superior and deserving of the mantle as a birth rite. And this is probably where most of the male ego and pride comes from. Allow me to justify my assertion that women are way ahead of us in many ways than we think.
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I will start by admitting that men are not the stronger sex but rather women are. The extra X in the chromosomes makes all the difference between who is the superior sex. But shhh…. Don’t let this out to my male folk ; I still love my life.
and no matter what, they always rise up and face another day as re-energized mothers, daughters, sisters, wives, grandmothers and aunts. Never will they allow their child to go hungry or sleep cold but will work tirelessly breaking their backs to ensure that they give their
make mistakes or ask for help is what separates men and women leading to the presence of successful women entrepreneurs.
Over the years and in my line of work, as well as just from my normal everyday life, I come across quite a number of great ladies and some on the way there, from the married, to the single, to the divorced and separated as well as the widowed. But one thing that I have always admired from all of these women is their remarkable strength and perseverance. If there was one thing that God gave to the woman is strength, will power and the ability to regenerate no matter what they have gone through and rise again as stronger and more determined people. Women go through most of life’s worst calamities from rape, abuse, broken marriages, bad relationships, in-law issues, loss of spouses
best to their kids, and that their children lead a better life than they did. A friend of mine pointed out to me that sometimes a woman never fully understands her full capacity until she goes through an event or season that tests her limits and pushes her to think beyond her limitation. And once she reaches that point, there is nothing that can stop her since it is then that she identifies what her passion is and how much potential lies within her. I have observed this first hand, particularly since I have helped quite a number of ladies set up businesses after they have come out of relationships that were limiting their potential and now that they have to make ends meet,
most hit the ground running and their determination is like none I have ever seen. Fact that they do not fear to make mistakes or ask for help is what separates men and women leading to the presence of successful women entrepreneurs. Just by mere observation, in any society, it is the women that make the man the man he is. No successful man has ever made it without the support of a woman. All great men must have the counsel of a woman if they are to succeed and this happens back at home when a man shares his mind during pillow talk. And as much as most may never admit it, we all know who pulls the strings, who ensures that the man is prim and proper when he leaves the house and who ensures that he is sane when life’s pressures get to him. Barrack Obama, the president of the world’s greatest country, the United States of America, may not have made it this far without his faithful wife Michelle Obama and he acknowledges her at every opportunity that he gets. Pardon our African men; this may not be our culture but as a wise old man once told his granddaughter: “Do not listen to what a man says, rather look at what he does for you,” and this applies best to us African men. To drive my point home, always observe what happens when a spouse passes on. Rarely do men
stay single and most usually end up remarrying, justifying that woman was made to complete man and man is incomplete without woman. But a woman will most likely keep herself and family together to the very end and very few ever remarry. So today I take off my hat as a tribute to all the women that make us men complete and make life that much special by just being who they are. We may not always say it but we really appreciate the work that you do in our lives and in building and keeping the family unit together even when we are not strong enough to do it. And for all that you go through each day, may God always bless you and continue extending that special grace to you.
So today I take off my hat as a tribute to all the women that make us men complete and make life that much special by just being who they are. Jan - Mar 2013
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manspeak
Heart HOW TO MELT A
Man’s
By Athan Tashobya When we talk about heart, in most cases people think about it in its physical context- simply an organ that pumps blood and transports it to the rest of the body. We forget that the physical heart is simply an organ that
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has no ability to decide, think or contain any feeling or emotion. When thinking of a man’s heart, ladies should know it exists as; the heart of a man, the heart of the mind and the heart of the matter. The heart of a man is his
“spirit”, the real him, his inner nature. The spirit of a man is his sanctuary- this is where most probably every woman would wish to be. Merging of the two spirits is how actually the two become one…. That’s what I
call melting his heart! When a woman has finally won his heart- she no longer has to worry if she can trust him because now she is him and he is her- that sounds great, doesn’t it?
The following are the 7 most effective ways a woman can completely win a man’s heart, become the only one he thinks about and safely dwell in his spirit. But before I go any further, let me clear this out of your “black-mailed” mind…. There
are Real Men and there are Boys. And I am telling you how to win a real man’s heart!
1. Be his best friend Probably you have not realized that love and friendship are simply related.
Becoming the best friend to the man of your interest or your husband is the best way to penetrate into his spirit and own his heart. There is a saying “a friend who understands your tears is better than a million friends who know your smile”. Be understanding, be a good listener when he talks, encourage him when he is down and show the interest to help when he needs a shoulder to lean on.
2. Be independent If you still think men believe in “weaker women” then you are mistaken. In this era, men are no longer concerned or driven by how vulnerable or dependant you are to them. In our country, Rwanda, chances are very high that you will find many women earning more than their partners. In such cases, why would a woman still expect to be provided for by her
man?… Come on women, this is the 21st century. Learn to be independent. Mugisha (not his real name), 27, a resident of Nyamirambo, Kigali says, “I am looking for that real woman who can inspire me, challenge me and put me back on my feet when am down”. “I feel so secure and strong when she inspires me and supports me. In such moments, I feel the strength to carry the entire world on my shoulder,” Mugisha adds.
Real men want real women who inspire them.
3. Be confident, happy and shiny Confident women are the most successful in their careers, in their relationships and life in general. Be happy and shiny. Stop being resentful; stop being a woman who complains about how men have hurt you, how your life sucks and so on. Make sure you do whatever it takes to look and feel your best always.
4. Know the score A reasonable number of men are into sports; basketball, athletics and recently the female world is experiencing an “epidemic” of football!!. Men love to be active and play. Is your man an APR diehard, a Rayon Sports royal, a
Manchester united addict or an Arsenal believer? Just know his favorite team and try to follow the score and a few updates of his magic game. Familiarize yourself with his hobbies and get something to help you contribute to the conversation when he starts to tell you how Amavubi has a bright future, or how Arsenal is a football academy or how lucky APR is. Unfortunately, women seem to forget this and want to talk and talk and talk their way into a man’s heart. But the
fact is that men don’t “feel it” for you because of what you say. It’s not the words… it’s the experience.
5. Prepare him a meal It’s always true that the best “high way” to a man’s heart is through his stomach! Try to be innovative in your kitchen. You can encourage him to learn how to make a Spanish omelette, or at least make African tea. Engage him in one chore or the other (only if he is interested).
6. Set your bedroom matters right Who lied to you that men don’t want all “things put together?! Bedroom matters are another easy route to drown you deep into your man’s heart. Men enjoy those special moments; those lovely moments when spent together very well become great memories in their hearts.
Learn to experiment with new positions, different approaches and other intimate pleasures. Why can’t you take up the initiative for once and ask him for a “service”? This is where most relationships fail; when a woman stays under all the time. Be playful and creative.
7. Leave him tidy and elegant Am not asking you to be his maid, but am pretty sure you always love to see him smart and clean too. Women, you are always into fashion- try to challenge him to wear those nice and latest labels on the scene. What do you do when you visit his home? Do you take time to wash those week long dirty dishes or wine glasses on his table? Do you take time to check out for dirty laundry in his wardrobe? Men simply want women who can clean, cook and look beautiful at the same time. Well, well, well, the list is endless… may be I forgot to tell you how important his family means to him (just as much as how important your family is to you). Love and appreciate his family. In essence, you have it in your power to be settled in the heart of your Mr. Right with no fear of disappointments. You may be wondering why I’m so concerned about meeting the man’s needs and not yours, but that’s a story for another day. Jan - Mar 2013
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The 8th edition of
FESPAD is back
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Do you recall the days when revelers would demand that a song be played again and again on a jukebox? How about those riveting street carnivals of Brasilia complete with colour, song, dance and the spirit of celebration? Well, Rwanda is about to experience all that and benefit from a phenomenal cultural bonanza, courtesy of the Pan African Dance Festival (FESPAD).
The public will be delighted to note that this year’s Biennial Festival will take place between 23rd February -2nd March, 2013 in Rwanda. An electrifying time is envisioned where the usually quiet Kigali should be aflame with song and dance in the form of dance competitions and dance workshops. What’s more, the Rwandese need not lose heart for they are firmly in the hearts of the organizers who will offer them a golden chance through dance competitions. The theme for the 8th FESPAD 2013 Festival “The spirit of expression” gives participants free will to express themselves through a variety of dance styles and dance moves. Almost every emotion finds expression through song and dance. In Africa, dances teach social patterns and values and help people work, mature and praise members of the community hence FESPAD 2013 will provide a platform for Africa to express herself while celebrating the spirit of oneness! The organizers of the festival have thought it fit to organize it in a more business driven environment which will allow
Rwandans and visitors to enjoy the atmosphere of the festival while being able to interact, dance and enjoy the full Rwandan experience. FESPAD 2013 is expected to be a stunning one with a lineup of different festivities including African Dance Competition, National Dance Competition and Dance Workshops.
African Dance Competition Ever seeking fresh ways to liven up the festival, the African Dance Competition has been introduced. It is an exhilarating feature which will expect participating countries to compete for the African dance title. The dance competition will add value to the festival, create excitement
as well as take the festival a notch higher. The continental dance competition will focus on traditional dances. Exciting prizes await the winners of the African Dance Competition and the participating countries are expected to send their best dance troupes to represent their respective countries. The Pan African Dance Festival is not limited to space and being the good old generous African festival, guest performances based Jan - Mar 2013
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on history, culture and roots from non-African countries with strong dance cultural ties with Africa should expect an invitation.
to all provinces as invited countries shall be taken to perform at different provinces in the country.
the FESAD 2010 Festivals. More international artists are expected to enthrall the fans this year.
National Dance Competition
Dance workshops
Participants
Another unique feature of the festival are the dance workshops which will provide an opportunity for Rwandans as well as other well wishers to learn different dance styles from different countries. This year will focus on expressionist dances but will also feature the usual dance styles including salsa, capoeira, samba and other trending styles.
The FESPAD participants will include dance groups from African countries, guest performers, local and international artistes, local dance groups and lovers of dance across the world.
Though FESPAD may appear international in outlook, it does take cognizant of the fact that for the festival to succeed, it must begin and end in Rwanda. What better way than to host the National Dance competition, featuring the well-known, warm, delightful Rwandan traditional dances? Of course that does not slam the door in the face of contemporary dances which will also be featured. These will involve all the 30 districts representing the 5 provinces of the country including Kigali. The National dance competition will be held during FESPAD week and the essence is to take FESPAD
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International Artists While everyone else was wondering what was up with Lauryn Hill whom they described as elusive, she was right here in Kigali performing to a thrilled and receptive audience during
Entry requirements for participants • Country participants who will be invited to participate will be required to confirm their participation. • Other participants will be required to satisfy a set criterion which will be given out in due course.
PROGRAM FOR THE 8TH PAN AFRICAN DANCE FESTIVAL (FESPAD) FROM 23RD -2ND MARCH 2013 Saturday 23rd February 2013- Official Opening of FESPAD at Amahoro National Stadium 1. National Ballet showcasing the Rwandan Culture 2. Country Presentations 3. Concert with local, regional and international artists Sunday 24th February 2013 1. Dance Workshops in the morning 2. Dance Competition for Kigali region 3. Country Performance (2 countries) Monday 25th February 2013 1. Dance Competition in the Eastern Province- Rwamagana 2. Country Performance in Kigali and Rwamagana 3. Dance workshops in Kigali Tuesday 26th February 2013 1. Dance Competition in the Southern- Huye -NUR 2. Country Performance in Kigali and Huye3. Dance Workshop involve all the dance styles in Kigali
Wednesday 27th February 2013 1. Dance Competition in the Western Province - Karongi 2. Continental competitions in Kigali 3. Dance Workshop involve all the dance styles in Kigali 4. Gala Night Concert in Kigali Thursday 28th February 2013 1. Dance Competition in the Northern Province-Musanze 2. Continental competitions in Kigali 3. Dance Workshop involve all the dance styles in Kigali Friday 1st March 2013 1. FESPAD Jungle Party Concert in Gisenyi Saturday 2nd March 2013 at Closing Ceremony at Amahoro National Stadium 1. Awarding winners at the National Level and continental level 2. Performances of the winners at the National level and continental level 3. Concert featuring local regional and international artists Jan - Mar 2013
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Matters Tradition
DOES TRANSFORMATION OF CULTURE AND TRADITION MEAN CHANGE FROM TRADITION? By Athan Tashobya Traditionally, the social fabric was clearly defined: women were homemakers while men took care of the needs in the home. The perception was that women were fragile while men were tough. As the world became more modern, women no longer stayed home but found their way to the office. Today it’s a whole new world with women not only holding senior plum positions but boldly making a statement where socializing is concerned: more and more women are clubbing on their own, paying their own bills and even the bills of the men with them. Some women can drink men off the table, not forgetting that some other women find it normal to smoke. Yes, some men even financially depend on women. The Diva magazine sought the view of Rwandans about this new development, a clear departure from tradition. 28
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tradition MUTONI Charity is married and a banker. She believes women are no longer housewives as it was in the ancient days. “We are no longer housewives as it was traditionally, basically due to the changes in the homestead”. This shows that women are no longer dependant or submissive to their husbands, and this has regularly created scuffles in homes where you find wives fighting their husbands, unlike in the ancient days. “Women are no longer intimidated when it comes to confronting their husbands any longer!” Mutoni says, obviously looking displeased about the current state of affairs. She is very much concerned about the misuse of gender rights that were given to women, saying that this has in one way or the other led to the departure from our traditional beliefs and culture. “I don’t believe in gender rights anymore; they have diluted our culture since women are no longer submissive to their husbands and instead of empowering ourselves to serve our husbands, we instead compete with our husbands,” Mutoni sadly adds. However, Mutoni doesn’t agree with the fact that
income differences between husband and wife in any way can lead to change from tradition. “Earning less or more than your husband should not change defined roles in a home. Money should help in developing unity and love in the family instead of creating differences,” She adds. Mutoni is advising women to stick to their traditions and respect their marital responsibilities.
KAGOYIRE BENARDETTE is single and the Chief Travel Agent with Traser Agency. According to her, nothing has changed with regard to culture. She simply believes that people are transforming from the traditional way of living to cope up with the winds of changes blowing across the world. “There is no big change in culture to raise alarm. People are finding a way to survive in this changing world,” Kagoire says. Instead, she believes that western media has diluted the culture of dressing and lifestyle among Africans. “Media, especially from the West, has played a role in changing the way people used to live. Women have changed the way they used to dress and live. Nowadays, what some women wear borders nudity,” Kagoire adds.
However, Kagoire is very much aware of the differences that existed since creation between woman and man, and so she knows that women should submit to their husbands and both complement each other. “A woman is always meant to respect and submit to her husband. Even the Bible says it,” Kagoire states. She goes on to say, “ Let women study hard, work hard but remember to respect God and their husbands, because that’s what we found in the world and so we should leave it the way it is meant to be”.
JEMADARI GASARASI is married and a banker. He laments how a great transition in tradition has led to departure from traditional customs and beliefs. But Gasarasi also believes that gender rights put in place by authorities are misunderstood most especially by women hence end up being misused. And this is the reason behind the departure from culture and tradition. “I truly respect gender rights, but these rights are being misused. This is doing more harm than good to our culture, especially in our marriages where some women no longer respect their husbands,” Gasarasi comments. One thing that bothers Gasarasi is the boldness of some women and young girls
who go to the bars to drink and even smoke. He believes that drinking and smoking or even clubbing among women, was an abomination in the traditional African society. “No girl was foolish enough or had the guts to be found late at night drinking herself silly, but try visiting the bars in the evening; you will be shocked!” He states. “….before, we hardly heard about clubbing and outings, but nowadays people are slowly but surely departing from tradition,” Gasarasi adds. He goes on to say that we can embrace the good changes other cultures are bringing into our own culture and tradition, but we should also stick to our own tradition. However, on the issue of women being free to work, and some women earning more than their husbands, Gasarasi finds no problem with it. “Unless, the mindset has been affected, income difference is more good than harmful,” he states. He says that a woman being given bigger responsibilities in the office is a welcome addition to the family’s development. The problem usually arises when a wife earning more than the husband starts demeaning the husband or when a husband earning less develops an inferiority complex. Gasarasi concludes by advising women to behave like women and men to behave like men as a way of restoring our traditional values. Jan - Mar 2013
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tradition KARUNGI MERAB is married and works with Marketing Information Systems (probably one of those jobs only a very hardworking person would go for). According to Merab, “Culture is what you believe in. What you consider right or wrong makes you either a good or a bad woman”. Despite her tight work schedule, Merab has lived according to the values of a traditional African woman. “I have a very demanding job, but that can’t make me forget that I am a wife and a mother. I have to do what I saw
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mothers do as I was growing up. Women have been given the freedom to develop and embrace change in a positive way, but some of us are taking these rights entrusted to us for granted,” she adds. Merab believes that women who depart from tradition do so because of their family backgrounds. “I believe if a girl is brought up in the right manner with good morals, it’s next to impossible to see that girl misbehave when grown up or in marriage, for that matter,” she stresses. She goes to say, “It’s really weird to find a woman or a girl in a bar drowning beer after beer… it’s absurd,” She explains. Merab says the only way to keep to tradition is to value traditional morals as we transform with the transforming world.
MUGABO HASSAN, Single, IT specialist
blames the changes from traditional customs to gender rights entrusted in women. “All these problems you are seeing related to cultural abuse by women are simply because we can’t confront women. They have been pampered to the extent that men are becoming victims,” Hassan angrily states. His concern is that if men still had the right to put women right, there would be no such cases of cultural abuse by women.
On being asked if it’s right for a woman or a girl to drink alcohol, Mugabo picks up his Quran and reads a few lines I can hardly interpret, and later he goes ahead to explain that women shall always be submissive to their husbands. “If God himself restricted alcohol, why should women drink or even smoke? This shows that we have clearly departed from our values as Africans.” He is of the opinion that it is hard to find a woman or girl who is still deeply rooted in tradition and culture in Rwanda. “Even if you moved round the whole of Rwanda, men will tell you how hard it is to find a girl or a woman who still believes in those traditional values and beliefs…. We need God to help us,” Mugabo concludes.
education
A cup of Rwanda’s finest coffee is happiness tasted and time well spent. Have one today at any of our coffee shops at the following locations: Union Trade Center (UTC), Kigali City Tower (KCT) MTN Center (Nyarutarama), Kigali International Airport.
PO Box 6233 Kigali Rwanda info@bourboncoffe.biz www.bourboncoffe.biz Hotline: +250 280 305 555 Tel: +250 788 300 389
trends
THIS SEASON:
Red The
Label. By Izela Barlow
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When it comes to chic and savvy the little black dress is usually what saves the day at the eleventh hour. The Duchess of Windsor, Wallis Simpson was popularly known to own and wear several little black dresses and said much in praise of her choice of dressing and why she favoured it. She is quoted to have said of the little black dress: “When a little black dress is right, there is nothing else to wear in its place” And do add even more glamour to a concept that is already flawless is the red number. Now Trending this season is the must have little red dress. The colour is as bold as it is festive so if you are a minimalist with accessories then this is definitely a favourite. The right shoe and purse and you are good to go! The little RED dress is an essential piece in every woman’s wardrobe this season. It can be worn just about anywhere, from a cocktail party to a shopping spree at the mall and even to the night club. If you select a cut that flatters your figure, you can alter its look completely by changing your accessories. You can go from sophisticated and chic to casual or funky and fun by switching jewelry, scarves, belt handbags and shoes. For example, you can wear it with a jacket and pumps or chunky sandals for daytime business wear or with more ornate jewelry and accessories for the evening.
Your little RED dress must have a simple but distinct style. If the cut is too flamboyant, it will soon be overtaken by the everchanging fashion trends and it will all but lose its timeless classic qualities lent by the iconic little black dress from which it borrows its style.
Shopping for your little RED dress If you are looking for a little RED dress that you can wear for this season – perhaps to start as a gentle reminder of the Valentine season for lovers, then spare a little money on the side and change the look by varying your accessories. If you are going to only wear the dress once or twice, then you don’t need to spend too much. The bold statement of colour in itself lends the dress a punchup of elegance. When shopping for the little RED dress at your local mall or boutique, it might be wise to wear the undergarments and shoes that you will be wearing with it. This is the only way to be sure how the dress will really look on you. When shopping for your dress, look for a simple cut that flatters your figure. You don’t want anything too tight or too frumpy. Instead choose a shape that follows your body contours without being too tight or you might end up looking cheap instead of chic.
long sleeves. The length or you dress is up to you. The most common length for a little black dress falls just above or at the knee.
Many little black dresses are sleeveless. However if you are not comfortable about your arms, you can choose cap sleeves, short sleeves or even
Take your time and choose your dress wisely, making sure you like the shade of red too. This little RED dress can become a ‘life-saver’ in your wardrobe for many seasons to come. Jan - Mar 2013
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culture
My experiences with
Kinyarwanda By Anne Anjao
Like every other expatriate, I was apprehensive about how I would get by in terms of language but not unduly because I imagined people in Rwanda at least spoke Kiswahili. Well, I would get a surprise indeed for I encountered English, Kiswahili, French and Kinyarwanda. Now not every Rwandan speaks all the four languages. Actually very few have that privilege. I was to discover that the history of Rwanda has fundamentally shaped the language each individual speaks but one thing that remains constant is that Kinyarwanda is spoken by as many Wanyarwanda as possible, regardless of history.
At the core of my mind was that I had to start learning a few Kinyarwanda words, and fast. So I tuned my ears and began to pay more attention. And here came the pleasant surprise: I actually recognized a number of words. You see I come from Western Kenya, from the Luhyia sub-group. I would listen to someone
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speak Kinyarwanda and smile because even though I had not fully understood what the speaker was saying, I had a sense of what he was saying. My first teacher became the taxi conductor for when he would ask, “Echimichanga balimo?” my ears become attentive because ‘balimo’
in my language means ‘are they there?’ if it’s a question. Then, ‘Abe imberi twishyulire’ or ‘abe inyuma twishyulire’ . In Luhya this would simply be “abe imberi khurunge’ or ‘abe inyuma khurunge’. This is asking those occupying the front or the back to pay. Even the greeting, “Mwiriwe’’ is similar to
‘bwile’ or ‘mwile’, a greeting offered in the late afternoon towards evening. Other words I quickly picked up include: ‘bosi’- all, ‘kumuhanda’road, ‘mugoloba’-evening, ‘abasigala’-those remaining here, ‘libeshi’-liar ‘Nda kubira’ I will call you, ‘tugende’-let’s go.
Then my discovery would lead me to note a striking resemblance between Kinyarwanda, Luhya and Luganda who share similar words. Sample these:
Kinyarwanda Luganda Luhya
English
1. Tugende 2. Kurya 3. Ameza 4. Umwana 5. Inzu 6. Inkoko 7. Inyama 8. Intebe 9. Kwiruka
Let’s go To eat Table Baby House Chicken Meat Chair Running
Tugende Okurya Emmeza Omwana Enju Enkoko Enyama Entebe Kuduka
Tugende Okurya Emmeza Omwana Inzu/Enju Engoko Enyama Endebe Okwiruka
Now feeling more comfortable and getting easy with Kinyarwanda, I began to notice that Kinyarwanda is not only similar to Luhya from Western Kenya but also to Kikuyu, Kiswahili, among a host of other languages in East Africa. For example Kinyarwanda shares words with the Kikuyu language in money, counting and body parts. Allow me to take you through this short journey. Kinyarwanda Kikuyu English Amagana(Plural) Magana(Plural) Money Ijana (Singular) Igana(Plural) Money Body parts Amaso(Plural) Maitho(Plural) Eyes Amaguru(Plural) Maguru(Plural) Legs Amaboko(Plural) Moko(Plural) Hands/arms Umutwe(Singular) Mutwe(Singular) Head
Counting from one to ten in Kinyarwanda: Rimwe, Kabiri, Gatatu, Kane, Gatano, Gatandatu, Karindwi, Umunani, Icyenda, Icyumi Counting from one to ten in Kikuyu: Imwe, Igiri, Ithatu, Inya, Ithano, Ithathatu, Mugwanja, Inyanya, Kenda, Ikumi
They say one man’s meat is another’s poison so be careful though because even though these words may be similar, they may not always mean the same in some languages. For example, the Kisii from Western Kenya cringe every time the words ‘imberi’ and ‘inyuma’ are uttered by taxi conductors because they mean obscenities which are unprintable! The similarities in language should not come as a surprise as the above languages belong to the Bantu group of people. According to ELATE(ELearning & Teacher Education) from the School of Education, Makerere University, the term Bantu refers to a group of people who speak the same or similar language with a
common word “NTU” which means a person. The Bantuspeaking groups include the Baganda, Banyoro, Batoro in Uganda; Kikuyu, Akamba, Luhyia, Meru, Embu, Taita, Giryama, Digo in Kenya; Pokomo, Chagga, Yao, Segeju, Zaramo in Tanzania, and many others. ELATE goes on to say that there are two versions explaining the migration of the Bantu. The first version asserts that the Bantu came from West Africa around the Cameroon Highlands and Baunchi Plateau of Nigeria; therefore, this points to the Niger basin as the possible cradle land of the Bantu. The second version posits that the Bantu came from the Katanga region in Southeastern
Congo. Gradually they spread eastward north of the forest and southward to the forest’s edge near the lower Congo or Zaire and lower Kasai. And according to Summer Institute of Linguistics (SIL), a faith-based institute committed to building capacity for language development, a recent estimate by Grimes (2000) indicated that the world has 6,809 languages, of which 2,058, approximately 30%, are spoken in Africa. Africa is home to the world’s largest language phylum, Niger-Congo, with 1,489 languages (the next largest being Austronesia, with a mere 1,262).
million Africans speak NigerCongo languages, of whom about 240 million have a Bantu language as their first language. That is, nearly a third of all Africans speak a Bantu language as their native language,” says SIL. Then I begin to wonder. Just like Nairobi carved out a new language ‘Sheng’( a combination of English and Kiswahili) is it possible to also curve out a common East African language made up of a cocktail of several East African Bantu languages?
“If we accept the figure of 750 million as Africa’s population size today, then some 400 Jan - Mar 2013
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culture
Drumming by Women
Nyiramana’s determination to perpetuate culture From a distance come soft throbbing beats of drums whose electrifying intensity increases as you approach the source. The sight is amazing. The energy, the zeal, the enthusiasm greet you in a synergy that quickly sucks you into doing a jig or two. Whereas you would expect men to be the source of this vibrant, effervescent rhythm of drum beats, surprisingly, it is a group of women passionately involved in being a part of culture. By Shanitah Nyarwaya
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Welcome to Kitabi Cultural Village, located a few metres from the entrance of Nyungwe Park. The village comprises traditional huts enjoying royal architectural designs, camping tents and a small wooden canteen. It was developed by a local cooperative, the Friends of Nyungwe, under the support of the Rwanda Development Board and the US Agency for International Development (USAID). It is here where you encounter 19 year old Josephine Nyiramana, a member of Abahizi Cultural Dance Troupe who argues that women drummers do not in any way defy culture by drumming; a practice predominantly associated with men. “I have been drumming for the last two months and I don’t feel it makes me more or less a woman in any way. After completing my senior six, I looked for what I could do in order to raise funds for my university education
“I have been drumming for the last two months and I don’t feel it makes me more or less a woman in any way. and here I am drumming and dancing, not only to raise the said cash but also to display our culture to visitors, especially foreign tourists who are always mesmerized by the dances,” says Nyiramana. The soft spoken Nyiramana, an orphan with four siblings, is
greatly talented and a joy to watch though she is modest about it. “Drumming gives me great joy because while doing it, many people enjoy the moment and dance to it. It’s also “I don’t see how a relaxing because woman drumming you get to do it with and producing boundless energy thrilling rhythms while enjoying the and melody to rhythm,” Nyiramana entertain people adds. can affect cultural She is of the values. view that the misconception that it’s a taboo for a woman to drum should change. “I don’t see how a woman drumming and producing thrilling rhythms and melody to entertain people can affect cultural values. It’s a fact that in the ancient times, women would not drum just like there were no men cooking. During those times, nothing indicated that if a man cooked, he would become a lesser man; it was just a question of distributing roles.” To Nyiramana, drumming is a way in which plenty of learning takes place, if only people would be keen and patient. “I have learnt a lot the few months I have been with this cultural dance troupe especially with regard to Rwandan culture. I know that I will pass it on to my friends and my children because we must never let go of our culture. Although in most cases I enjoy myself during the dance sessions at this cultural village, it feels like a
school because there is a lot to learn here,” she reveals. She also says that they have become like celebrities in the Kitabi area since they are called upon to perform at ceremonies such as weddings. “Besides enjoying the moment, we are paid, thus drumming has become a source of income too. I get to take home some money for my upkeep,” she adds. Both local and foreign tourists who visit this amazing place are entertained by Abahizi Cultural Dance Troupe which is made up of 60 members, some of whom are women drummers. Rick Masumbuko , Community Tour Guide of Kitabi Cultural Village says that cultural tourism is a growing trend and source of revenue for several communities.
“Although most of the cultural moral values and details of history have been passed down the generations, the art of drumming never limits anyone. Women drummers are not defying Rwandan culture. In fact, it promotes gender equality and is far from going against cultural beliefs,” Masumbuko says. One thing however is for sure: culture is not static. It keeps evolving from generation to generation. Some core values remain untouched and are upheld for so many years because they constitute the identity of a group of people. What’s more, the Ministry of Sports and Culture is working to preserve and promote Rwandan culture especially amongst the youth hence the springing up of several cultural villages.
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interior design
Transform your
Living Space By Efua Hagan
For many of us, entering into the new year amounts to setting new achievements in various areas of our lives and striving to attain them. By now we’ve all written, or at least have thought about writing a list of goals we must achieve, or changes we ought to implement in our lives- some of which may very well concern the present state of our homes.
Use wall art to give any wall a face lift
1
Our homes are a safe haven, where it all begins. Our homes are where we start our days, and where we retreat to at the end of each day. We need to pay as much attention to our homes as we do to ourselves. You’ll be surprised how doing this will give you a sense of emotional and mental peace. Giving your home a makeover can be as simple and economical as you like. Instead of re-designing it, you can re-decorate it.
Understanding interior decoration There is a clear distinction between interior design and interior decoration. While interior design is the art of strategically locating basic or core elements of furnishing, interior decoration is the final enhancement or if you like, the icing on the cake. It allows us to Here orange has been applied on the wall to bring the room together while creating a dramatic effect
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involve our personal touch and creative flow. Artist and interior designer, Van Truex, defined the difference between designing and decorating by using the analogy of preparing roast beef. Design, he said, “is the preparation and cooking; decorating is the final seasoning and the savoring.” Re-decorating any given space is far more cost effective than re-designing it because unlike starting from scratch, you already have a base to work with. If you’re looking to spend as little money as possible, it will not be practical to work on every room in the house all at once. However, the room where you spend most of your time is a great starting point. The other rooms can follow in due time. Identifying a starting point may be overwhelming and knowing where to begin can seem to be a challenge on its own. Start by choosing a theme and colour scheme, then work your way from there. This is a very important step to take before you invest any money because it will discipline you into maintaining a focused line of thinking as you purchase items.
De -clutter your house Living clutter-free is a mindset and a choice. Unfortunately, too often we find ourselves living in the midst of clutter within our own homes. Sometimes we avoid getting rid of clutter because we want to hold onto it, or because the task seems too tedious.
However, we fail to realize that the more we keep putting it off, the more the clutter will build up and get in the way. If you’re in a situation where you are holding onto something that has no relevance to you, ask yourself the following questions; how much do I like this item? Does it make my life better or easier? Do I honestly see myself using it again? If you own something that you haven’t used for years, consider disposing it or giving it to someone who needs it. Selling it can be a bonus.
baskets, unique candle holders, mirrors, plants, and an assortment of exciting cushions for a sofa.
Don’t be shy of those walls Making use of walls is a fantastic way of bringing the room together. Unfortunately, many of us tend to shy away from them; as a result, we leave them looking isolated, and blank. When dealing
the ‘focal point’. Alternatively, you may decide to coat one wall with a bold colour, while maintaining subtle colours on the joining walls. When re-doing your home, in an attempt to satisfy your visual appetite, remember to make your decorations comfortable and practical. With this in mind, you will be sure to reap from your décor choices. Happy New Year!
Here fun images have been painted on the wall to represent a fun playroom.
Living in a clutter free environment brings order and clarity of mind. As a result, your house will look neat and the feeling will be simply liberating!
It’s the small details that count
Arranging cushions on a sofa set are a great way to bring life into a room
Next, you can move onto the part which I find most exciting- accessorizing. At this point the options are limitless! Putting up wall hangings, paintings and/or family pictures are all simple and yet effective ways of making your house feel like a home. Be mindful that the frame should be in proportion to the width and height of the wall. It’s rather amusing how many times I walk into an interior space only to find myself facing a huge wall with nothing but a lonely miniature frame for company. This shouldn’t be the case at all. Other items to accessorize a home with include artifacts,
with walls, keep your colour scheme in mind. However, make every attempt not to overdo it. There are several ways to be inventive with your walls. For example, you can paint a pattern or an image on one wall- this will be a great way to create a main point of focus in the room, also known as Jan - Mar 2013
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food
Beef
Brochette with a Primus twist. By Izela Barlow
What better way to celebrate the New year than with rich home-gown cooking using the best and most popular festive foods of Rwanda. This year as we drink and make merry and propose a toast to the New Year, let us also remember to fill in on our favourite foods. What better way to celebrate the New year than with rich home-gown cooking using the best and most popular festive foods of Rwanda. This year as we drink and make merry and propose a toast to the New Year, let us also remember to fill in on our favourite foods. It is easy to turn your
favourite staple food into a heart-warming feast for you, your friends and family by adding a twist to your usual recipe. Beef brochette or even goat brochette is widely popular here in Rwanda. But here is a recipe that will add some zing to your brochette, make your meat o-so-tender melt-in-your-mouth and
also cut down on the overall cooking time. The secret is to use a beer based marinade or BBQ sauce. Why use beer in a BBQ sauce? First and foremost, it enhances flavour. Beer is much less acidic than wine, vinegar or citrus juices commonly used in BBQ sauces and marinades. It will tenderize
meats without breaking down texture as rapidly as these more powerful acids. Also, the balanced flavour in beer means that the other herbs and spices you may choose to add will not be overwhelmed by the beer flavour. So grab yourself a big bottle of Rwanda’s own PRIMUS and start cooking!
Primus Beef Brochette
Ingredients: Beef cubes Salt to taste 1 bottle of flat Primus beer 1/2 cup olive oil 1 tablespoon brown sugar 2 tablespoons finely chopped and ground fresh ginger 2 whole cloves garlic, coarsely chopped Grated orange rind (one side of an orange) Some Skewers
Mix the beer, olive oil, ginger, brown sugar, garlic, and orange peel and stir well to combine into a flavorful marinade. Use an airtight container in which to marinade your beef/ goat pieces. (Or use a container that will hold all the meat snugly. If it is loo large the flavours may not saturate well)
Preparation: Rub some salt into your beef cubes and leave to stand for a while.
String your meat onto the skewer and BBQ on grill turning sides every 3-4 minutes until the meat is done to perfection. Serve with a big Salad!
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Cover tightly and be sure to leave the meat in the marinade long enough to pick up the flavors of the liquid for at least 6 hours. You can leave it up to 24 hours. Turn frequently so that the marinade is evenly distributed. Strain and use as a basting sauce if desired.
Have a Yami Day
Contact: Yami Foods Ltd, Kigali-RwandaTel: 0788 387 126, Email: rmsltd13@yahoo.com
Jan - Mar 2013
Enterprise Mauritius in Collaboration with the Private Sector Federation and Rwanda Development Board are organizing the first
MAURITIUS – RWANDA BUYERS AND SELLERS MEETING Dates: 21st and 22nd March 2013 VENUE: Le Serena Hotel, Kigali
The products and services from following sectors will be showcased: •
Textiles and Clothing (Including local brands)
•
Chemicals and Detergents
•
Agro processed foods, Seafood, Beverages and Spirits
•
Plastic and allied Products
•
Printing, Labeling and Publishing Operations
•
Freeport Products
•
Light Engineering
•
Any other products manufactured and services Rwanda Contact For Appointments and Business Mathchmaking please register with the Following Contacts: Mr. Falcon G. Ndirima I Managing Director Glance Media ltd Tel : +250788574913 Email: falcongn@gmail.com Mauritius Contact
Download the buyers registration Form from http://www.enterprisemauritius.biz
Mr Kavi BOOJHAWON Enterprise Mauritius Tel: +2302129760 Cell: +2309121415 Email: kavi.boojhawon@em.intnet.mu
parents corner
Helping children
understand culture By Patricia Kamikazi
The foundation for many cultures rests upon accepted myths or beliefs. There is something about tradition that children find boring...useless even. As a child, I never really understood culture, as a matter of fact, I don’t think I understand it the way I should even now as an adult. I remember my maternal grandmother sitting me down with only a paraffin lamp as our source of light, enchanting me with stories of her childhood and culture. I lived for those moments; a night without a tale was like a night without stars – dull! I suspect some of the stories she told me were merely a product of a very creative mind. One story that will go on for generations in my family is the story of a girl called Nsangi. This girl was warned by her mother not to open the door for anyone till she got back. No sooner had her mother left than a beast of sorts pounded on the door, pretending to be her mum and singing a song he had come to learn from all the days he spent listening to them, plotting his entry. 42
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Nsangi wasn’t fooled and knew that her mum didn’t have such a ‘heavy’ voice. On realising it would take more than a song to get into the house, the beast left, looked around for bananas to soften his voice and came back. This time, it worked – and the jiffy poor Nsangi opened the door thinking it was her mother. The beast gobbled her up. But this is the killer part of the story; the beast actually stayed around as it was too full to go anywhere. Nsangi’s mum returned and freaked out, forcing the beast to run off. This woman must have had some ‘bionic’ skills because she followed the animal into the woods, found as many of them and lined them all up for questioning. One by one, she asked them if they had eaten Nsangi, and they all claimed that the big bellied one behind them was the culprit. I can’t remember if she made the beast vomit Nsangi out or what...all I know is that Nsangi came out of the beast’s stomach safe and sound and they all lived happily ever after. This story was used to scare us out of playing outside till dark – lest the beast that ate Nsangi come for us too! And even though Nsangi wasn’t playing outside when she was swallowed, it seemed easier to grab children still running around outside after dark than a child already safely bolted inside! I have traumatized my own daughter with it one too many times. Culture is a lot of things; it
can include attitudes, values, laws, and cherished beliefs or ways of doing things. Every family has their own culture. But it is getting our kids to understand culture that is the most important part. How adults view a subject can influence a child’s attitudes about the same subject. How do you expect a child to believe in something if you don’t show them that you believe it too? Like most people, children bend towards the familiar. In older children, common interests play as big a role as any. However, make no mistake about it; cultural or racial differences or similarities have a part too. Children around the age of three respond to ethnic peculiarity – the ‘why is she white and I’m black’ part. Personally, my first classes were in a white dominated school. Yes – I believe I had a few white friends, but those closest to me were black. It is just natural to feel more comfortable around your
How do you expect a child to believe in something if you don’t show them that you believe it too? ‘kind’; it doesn’t have to be offensive. Kids want to know why their skin colour is different from another’s or why a certain person speaks a certain way, or why the stories they are
told are not the same stories another child in their class is acquainted with, or why their family prays on Sunday and the neighbours pray on Friday!
But it is getting our kids to understand culture that is the most important part. In small children, the penchant towards what is similar does not necessarily indicate intolerance or even a preference for race or gender. It’s more likely a comatose drift towards the comfort of the known. Still, it does indicate an awareness that should be taken seriously and cultivated in a positive direction.
The Role of Parents in Cultural Development Arguably, no one can have as big an influence in a child’s life as their parents. They have the power to affect every move that child makes, particularly when that child is faced with new ambience. When a child encounters something they’ve never seen before – say a person with a different skin colour than their own, for instance - that child will turn to their parents for clues on how they should respond. I remember this one time when I took my daughter to Centenary Park in Uganda for the afternoon and the place was crowded with kids of every colour.
At the swings, while she humbly waited her turn, watching a white girl having the time of her life, the white girl smiled at her. I swear I saw her blush, and then she turned to me and said, “Mummy, the muzungu has smiled at me.” So I told her, “Really? Well, smile back too.” Her ‘blush’ made me believe she didn’t know what to do or say to this white girl. Even though that wasn’t the first white person she’d ever seen, that was the first white person to make some kind of contact with her. So I asked the little girl her name, and got her talking...trying to get my own little one to feel more comfortable. How a parent responds under the same circumstances is very important to the forming parody of a small child. Had I shown any sign of discomfort, my daughter would have quickly picked that signal up and forever be traumatized by white people who smile at her! Children take cues from their parents on how to interact with others, solve conflicts and utilize friends to deal with problems. Next to parents, a child’s teachers may have the strongest influence. Parents and teachers need to be aware of what they are teaching children through their own actions and reactions to everyday life. Far more is being expressed through the course of a day than any math or reading lesson. Jan - Mar 2013
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relationships
Overcoming barriers IN AN
Interracial Relationship
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THE DIVA
Jan - Mar 2013
Apparently, it is pointless to fall in love with an Indian as they will never marry anyone outside their ethnicity –well – at least that is what a friend told me when I asked why she seemed dispassionate about an obscenely cute Indian who was madly in love with her.
By Patricia Kamikazi
Relationships are cute and fun and everything nice, till you bring the person who holds your entire life in their hands home to meet your family and their silence says everything but – we are so happy for you. Even though many people do not want to admit it, interracial relationships are frowned upon. Not that my family is picky, but they would certainly raise an eyebrow if I
Even though many people do not want to admit it, interracial relationships are frowned upon.
brought them all together to meet the man I was destined to marry and he was Chinese - no offense! Like children, it is natural for adults to lean more on the familiar side – with people they have a lot more in common with. Again, no offense but I simply can’t imagine what possible similarities I’d have with a Chinese man. From what I’ve read, one of the reasons some people are so strongly opposed to interracial relationships is because they feel it is a betrayal to their ancestors. Ages ago in some African cultures, a girl had her groom picked out for her, I think the day she was born! She was trained to be that boy’s wife all her ‘young adult’ life. Why was this done? Well, to carry on bloodlines and keep the clan alive I guess! I might be wrong but for some people, it isn’t racism, it is merely keeping their culture alive. Coping with a relationship is one thing, but dealing with an interracial one is another. So how do you deal with it? For starters, you must acknowledge that you ARE different. This is not a bad thing; being different is being unique – and that is what makes you special. A black man will love his hip hop (well most of them at least), but his half Asian girlfriend will probably kill the house with the sound of PSY singing his Gangnam Style nonsense! Expand your horizon and open your mind to new things
– isn’t that what a healthy relationship should be like anyway? Next, you need to understand each other’s background. So, maybe where a person comes from, grasshoppers and white ants are all there is on the menu. Do not roll your eyes or sneer to show just how unimpressed you are with
Simply understand that while you were enjoying cupcakes and milky bars, your partner was catching and eating flying insects!
that. You don’t have to eat them to impress the person. Simply understand that while you were enjoying cupcakes and milky bars, your partner was catching and eating flying insects! Also, forget people – they will always look! No matter where you go, especially here in Africa where nothing stands out more than a black and white couple, you will feel like you are on the TV Show Big Brother. If it helps, put a
positive spin on it – they are staring because they have never seen a couple quite that beautiful. If there is a black man occupying the highest office in the world, then this shouldn’t be too shocking really. The best way to cope with nomadic eyes is to constantly remind and reassure your partner that the only opinion that matters is theirs. It’s hard enough when everyone outside of your relationship plays the race card, but how much worse is it when you do it? This business of saying things like, Just because I’m black doesn’t mean I’m stupid, or, You are white, what do you know about African culture? is simply unacceptable. Talk it out, share your culture and beliefs with each other, try new things and most of all, do not let negative energy into your relationship. It is about you and your happiness, not your race and other people. It’s always easier to cope with an interracial relationship when you have friends who are open-minded enough to appreciate it and not judge you for it secretly. Know who your friends are and spend your time with them. The support of your family and friends is always important because it lets you know that even if the world doesn’t have your back, there are some people who do!
Jan - Mar 2013
THE DIVA
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Talk to
Aunt Umulisa Dear Aunt, I am a 45 year old woman with a teenage daughter aged 17. My parents never spoke to me about sexual issues and having gone through an enlightening seminar, I have purposed to keep talking to my daughter about this issue. The problem is, in our discussions, we have differed significantly. My daughter sees nothing wrong with teenagers using a condom(though she swears that she hasn’t started sex yet) while I am traditional, believing that I have no business in encouraging condom use among the unmarried. I am of the view that young people must wait till they are married to experience sex. We usually end up having heated arguments with her calling me old-fashioned and even storming out of the room. How can I convince her of my point of view?
I understand where you are coming from, please take note of the following: • The environment you grew up in is not the same as the current one where your daughter is in. We live in an era where there is the proliferation of knowledge. Try to Google up the words ‘sex education’ and 518,000,000 websites will come up on this topic compared to 15,100,000 websites that pop up on the word ‘abstinence.’ That is how much heat the topic has generated. So you are not dealing with an ignorant teenager at all. • Medical experts say that teenagers listen more to their peers than their parents. The need to belong has sent many a teenager to an early grave. In their free time, be aware that these teenagers discuss sex more than any other topic because parents will not talk about it, and they have burning questions that need answers.
Jeannette. Dear Jeannette, It is commendable that you are talking to your daughter about issues we in Africa are unwilling to broach. While
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THE DIVA
Jan - Mar 2013
• Some governments around the globe have opened up space where schools have become places where this information can be disseminated responsibly.
I am sure the arguments your daughter has advanced include the fact that condoms prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases, especially HIV/ AIDS. What I am surer of is that you do not want to promote immorality by telling her it is fine to use condoms. I also take your view that advocating for condoms is akin to promoting immorality and consequently, would never encourage my own teenage daughter to use them until the right time. I know of parents who actually pack their children’s bags with condoms, saying prevention is better than cure. What I would discourage you from doing is argue with your daughter leading to unnecessary fights. This will only end up driving her away from your wisdom and instead pushing her into a forest of ignorance. Instead, acknowledge that yes, condoms do prevent sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy, and that
there is no need for regrets and tears later on, but tell her that abstinence is ever the best. The best because there will always be no worry of a slip up. Get scientific evidence, use medical journals amongst other aids to make her understand that condoms do have a failure rate and therefore should be the last resort, rather than the first measure. Another thing you can do is encourage her to speak to a trustworthy person who is an authority in this field. Usually, churches have very good, strong groups for teens where these issues are shared from a biblical perspective. Encourage your daughter to read plenty of literature on this topic, and whatever else you do, do not stop talking. decision.
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LET’S JOIN HANDS FOR BETTER SERVICE Akirana urugwiro abakugana