Diva magazine issue 8 by The Diva Magazine

EMPOWERED TO INSPIRE

April - June 2013

The Gender Agenda: Gaining Momentum

WOMEN & CAREER MAURITIUS

A New Shopping Basket!

PEACE THROUGH BUSINESS COVER STORY

Unsung

HEROINES

Faith

Mbabazi

The Legendary CHINUA ACHEBE Issue No. 08

FREE COPY

BUILDING BRANDS We are at your service for all the: Branding Publishing Media Management TV & Radio Commercials Events Management

P.O. Box 4665 Kigali, Centenary House 6th floor, Kigali Rwanda, Email: glancemedia1@gmail.com 2

THE DIVA

Apr - Jun 2013

CONTENTS PUBLISHER FALCON G. NDIRIMA EDITOR Lillian M. Ndrima

Great women of the bible

Cover Story : Faith Mbabazi

MAURITIUS: A new shopping basket

Peace Through Business (PTB)

Women Foundation Ministries

Unsung heroines

The legendary CHINUA ACHEBE

FESPAD : 8th edition ended on high note

Myths about women & career

Children & freedom of expression

Fashion Tricks to Make Your middle look smaller

Health & Safety in the work place

Vintage: What’s it with the vintage?

Getting in shape after pregnancy

The Gender Agenda: Gaining Momentum

Newlyweds discovering your couple’s style

How to raise responsible children

Recipe: Pan fried glazed fish

CONTRIBUTORS ANN ANJAO MARY AKAZUBA CLAIRE ADUVUKA IZELA BARLOW EFUA HAGAN Patricia Kamikazi SHANITAH NYARWAYA Athan Tashobya Jesse Kimani Susan Birike Flavia Osem Rhona Namatungo Emmanuel Mukiza

PHOTOGRAPHY Glance Media Ltd DESIGN AND LAYOUT GLANCE MEDIA LTD SALES & MARKETING

GLANCE MEDIA LTD

P. O. Box 4665 Kigali, Centenary House, 2nd Floor, Kigali - Rwanda

www.thedivamagazine-rw.com

All rights reserved. Production is whole or in part without written permission is strictly prohibited. The name The DIVA is a registered trademark of Glance Media Ltd. Liberty; while every care is taken in the preparation of this magazine the publishers cannot be held responsible for the accuracy of information herein or any consequences arising from it. Apr - Jun 2013

THE DIVA

editorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s note Our country Rwanda has gone through very hard times. Tears and emotions flowed as a result of the 1994 Genocide against the Tutsi. If you have read the poem Grass will Grow by Jonathan Kariara you will agree it is essentially a message of hope. The poem lists some of lifeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s worst catastrophes which include death and loss of property. The poet acknowledges that challenges exist but implores the Lord to hold his hand through the difficulties, and even though tears will flow, when all is said and done, God will send a little rain and grass will grow. Today it is still raining in Rwanda and grass is still growing. That is why in this issue we celebrate the media, a profession most often misunderstood but which is just as important as oxygen. In 1994, the media was a tool for destruction. 19 years on, the media has become a powerful tool for development. For this reason, we celebrate media personality, Faith Mbabazi, our cover story. Read her inspiring story and especially about her passion to see many young girls take up journalism as a career. Also featured is the great story of Peace through Business (PTB). A program that is profoundly sharpening skills of women entrepreneurs. I am sure it will give you an idea or two on how to improve or start your business. The literary world recently lost a great son of Africa, Chinua Achebe- The legend .His books were so captivating and we celebrate Chinua Achebe in this issue. He leaves a legacy that will be hard to match. We have your rural story, an inspiring story about the unsung heroines. A story of selfless sacrifice that most times passes without notice, you have to know their story to appreciate. These are none other than the care takers of Noel orphanage in Nyundo, Rubavu district. Also in the issue are your usual columns of Art & Design, Career, Recipe, Relationships and many more. As is the norm, we would like to appreciate you our readers. Your support is what keeps us going issue after issue. You are the reason that despite the challenges we never give up. As such we would like to say thank you. Please remember to drop in a line, whether a compliment or a concern we will be happy to read from you. Enjoy. Lillian

THE DIVA

Apr -- Mar Jan Jun 2013

Your Feedback!

l for us women. I “Every new release of The DIVA magazine has got something specia you are dedicated to have read it right from the first issue, and it is just amazing how hema, Kanombe. cause a fundamental change in the lives of Rwandan women.” Mukas in there are “I like the quality of paper, the pictures, the message and the stories Kigali. indeed inspirational. Generally, the publication is incredible.” Mimi,

Well, the “May I please ask The Diva team to offer us a Christian column? d us a magazine is so inspirational and educational, but I think if you offere Kigali. Kwela, ” tional. Christian column, that would be more inspira ed “The first time I saw this magazine, I could hardly believe it is publish is women on d here. It has brought a new dimension into media… being focuse an of Rwand an exceptional specialization and has a great impact on the lives a. Kabug , women. Great job, Diva team.” Angela ba’s life “I must say I was moved by the issue that covered the late Inyum I tional. inspira story. It was so emotional, touching and at the same time orking to learned that in life, one has to be dedicated, passionate and hardw inspire someone else.” Mukabideri, Nyarutarama. “I love the quality, the flow of stories and the content in general. n need a However, I would suggest you bring us more of health tips. Wome and better combination of almost every aspect of knowledge in life to be productive.” Ines, Kicukiro.

SPONSOR WOMEN/GIRLS INITIATIVES ADVERTISE YOUR PRODUCTS & SERVICES At pocket friendly rates You can pick your free copy at all Bourbon Coffee outlets, Ikirezi Bookshop & Kigali Public Library CALL US TODAY: +250 788 57 49 13, EMAIL: thediva@gmail.com, falcongn@gmail.com Apr - Jun 2013

THE DIVA

devotion

Great

Women of the bible

STRIVE TO BE ONE OR ALL OF THESE By Anne Anjao

THE DIVA

Apr - Jun 2013

Great women don’t just happen. They follow certain patterns to be where they are today. The following are some of the great women in the bible. Which one are you? ■ Do you like praying and fasting for your people, your generation, and your country? Have you decided categorically that you would rather die than see your people suffer? Then you are Esther. Esther was a Jew, married to King Ahasuerus of Persia. Modecai, her uncle, alerted her of a plot to annihilate the Jewish people through a dangerous plot by Haman. Esther rallied her people to pray and fast for her while she under took dangerous

mission to approach the King at a time she wasn’t supposed to, and which meant instant death if this action displeased the King. The Jewish nation survived.

■ Timothy was one of the apostles and in his book, he pays tribute to two women, Lois(his grandmother) and Eunice(his mother) whom he credits with his strong spiritual foundation. Remember that when God gives you children, it is your responsibility to ensure they

are well-grounded in His word. Teach them the way they should go and when they are old, will never depart from the way.

■ Wisdom and responsibility are celebrated virtues women ought to have as demonstrated by Abigail, whose husband, Nabal, was a very wicked man, who thought only of himself. He rudely answered David (anointed but not yet taken office) who had only requested for hospitality to be shown to him and his men. Abigail thought quickly and went to meet David with supplies in order to avert a disaster on her household. When Nabal died a couple of days later from shock,

Abigail married a godly man in the name of King David.

■ Perhaps you have waited for ages for God’s promises to manifest themselves and they don’t. You then embark on serious prayer and fast while promising God that should He answer your prayer, you will fulfill His promise. Then you are Hannah. Hannah was devout and fully trusted God. She endured taunts and abuses from her co-wife who had children yet she was barren.

God saw her tears. God healed her barrenness and Hannah could now stand tall among the women folk. But she kept the promise by dedicating Samuel to the Lord. Samuel never disappointed for he would proceed to be a great prophet of the Lord.

■ The people of Israel did evil against the Lord, and God sold them into the hands of Jabin, King of Canaan. Through the commander of his army, Sisera, Jabin oppressed the people of Israel for twenty years. The situation seemed hopeless, as Jabin’s army, with 900 chariots of iron, was too strong for the feeble army of Israel. Without all hope of freeing themselves

from the iron thumb of Jabin, the Israelites repented and called out to God for help. Deborah was the judge ruling Israel at this time. She turned to God who promptly delivered Jabin and Sisera’s armies into Israel’s hands. It is Jael who tricked Sisero and drove a peg into his temple killing him instantly. As women, we need the guts of Deborah and Jael at times in order to protect our families and people. ■ Be like Ruth who found sweetness in the Lord Jesus

and never looked back. A famine in the land caused Elimelech to move to Moab with his wife Naomi and two sons. These two sons married Moabite women. Unfortunately, they died in the prime of their lives. Naomi decided to go back home and urged Orpah and Ruth to go back to their people since she had no more sons for them to marry. Orpah complied but Ruth stuck on Naomi like a tick saying she became an Israelite the moment she married one, dead or alive. Indeed she later marries Boaz and she went down in history as one of the names to be found in the lineage of Christ Jesus.

■ Finally, our mother in the bible Sarah. She was Abraham’s wife. Sarah had no children and had given up when God promised she

would have a son. In fact she laughed. But God would honour His promise and Sarah would beget Isaac, the promised son. It is through Sarah that today we, who are Gentiles partake of the gift of salvation through Jesus Christ as promised by God.

There are many more women who led exemplary lives and we would lead wise lives if we emulated them. As Paul said, imitate them as they imitated God.

Apr - Jun 2013

THE DIVA

cover story

Faith

Mbabazi By Anne Anjao

It is a very vital organ of any functioning system, yet most often, either ignored in terms of remuneration or bashed and heavily criticized fairly or unfairly. It is one of those thankless jobs but strange enough, we cannot do without its practitioners. We are talking about the media. The Diva magazine caught up with the acting Director of Radio Rwanda, Faith Mbabazi who talks passionately about this function of society, especially with regard to women.

THE DIVA

Apr - Jun 2013

Talk to us about your career I am the acting Director of Radio Rwanda. In addition, I chair the Association of Rwanda women journalists (ARFEM). I am the Deputy Chair of The African Editors Forum (TAEF). I also sit on the Board of Directors of the Media High Council representing the public broadcaster.

Could you briefly share with us about your childhood? I was born and raised in Uganda where my family was living in exile. My father died when I was 13. But many thanks to my hardworking mom who saw me through school and everything I needed, as I was and am still her only child. I owe her so much and treat her like a queen.

What is your experience? I have been working for the state broadcaster ORINFOR since late 2004. I started off as a news anchor and then became a desk editor. Later on, I worked as the acting chief editor till now that I am the acting Director of Radio Rwanda.

Did you always want to end up in media? Yes. When I was in high school, I used to contribute to my school’s weekly outburst that wrote on weekend gossip in school. I mainly sent in stories of the dirtiest girl of the week in my dormitory, the hottest couple of the month and things of that nature that interested teenagers. Back then we didn’t have a printed

Training? I’ve trained mainly in radio production as it’s been my major area of specialization throughout my career. One of my best practical trainings I got as a practicing journalist was from Rhodes University in South Africa. It is now that I am attending Journalism to upgrade my skills in the wider media field. I initially studied management which I never liked until recently when I became a media manager.

newspaper but rather used pen on paper and hanged them on the notice board every Monday. I used to mask my name so that girls in my room would

not hate me for prying on their private lives. But it was fun though. I spent my leisure time listening to radio presenters. My favorite program was Voice of America’s Day Break Africa Program.

You are obviously passionate about the media world. WHAT Motivates you? Well, devotion to serve my nation and my people, being someone people look up to speak on their behalf and making sense out of a chaotic world. That’s what drives me.

Share at least two experiences when you felt proud to be a journalist. The day my newsroom aired an investigative story that revealed the plight of street children who were supposedly being taken care of by the City Council of Kigali but were actually being mistreated and instead living in harsh conditions. On the 2nd day after airing the story, the children were transferred to a better facility. In another story, we revealed grass thatched houses in the Eastern Province at a time when the government had declared that there were no more grass thatched houses in Rwanda. These local poor people were then given better housing facilities.

Share at least two experiences where you inadvertently goofed. How did you rectify the situation? I have never experienced this situation in my career. I pray it does not happen.

Talk about the Association of Rwandan Women Journalists that you chair. I chair the Association of Rwandan Women Journalists that brings women in the media together to share experiences and build on what they have to improve in journalism. We also work to encourage women to take up journalism especially after graduating from the various schools of Journalism. We mainly advocate for women and girls who are still vulnerable in society today. We have published a book that exposes the plight of women who have been subjected to rape in the DRC. The book is titled Sortir de L’ombre’ meaning ‘Getting out of the dark’. This book was published in partnership with our Congolese counterparts. Apr - Jun 2013

THE DIVA

ARFEM networks with other regional members who have excelled in this profession to learn from them. We have a partnership with women journalists in Burundi (AFJO), women journalists in DRC (AFEM SUD KIVU) and women journalists in Kenya (AMWIK). ARFEM is currently involved in bringing communities together to talk about issues that affect their lives. On the International 10

THE DIVA

Apr - Jun 2013

Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day, we visited the Eastern Province of Kirehe District where we talked about domestic violence. We had women coming out without fear to express how they have been harassed by their husbands. It was an interesting session. This month we will visit the Northern Province to talk about polygamy. We also train our members on a variety of issues to sharpen their skills.

Who funds these activities? Our activities are funded by various partners including UNESCO,USAID, INTERNEWS among others.

Are you mentoring girls in the media world? If so, how does it work? With the support of UNESCO,

we just concluded a session where we visited campuses where journalism is taught to encourage young women to join the media after graduating. We also plan to start engaging media clubs in secondary schools to mentor the students to become future responsible journalists.

Might you know how many women journalists were there immediately

before the 1994 Genocide against the Tutsi and how many they are now? I do not have the figures because back then we did not have a media regulatory body. But even now the situation is not very encouraging and needs serious attention. We still have a very low representation of women in the media. Only 20% of journalists in Rwanda are female. Most women are afraid of joining the profession because it still underpays due to very low investment. Some cite insufficient job security and harsh working conditions.

Are women journalists as brave as their male counterparts where bravery is needed? No. I remember in 1998 when Rwanda was at war in the DRC. There was a proposal for women journalists to cover the war but we did not have any woman who was willing to cover this story on the frontline. The only one who went spent a few days and returned to Kigali because she was too afraid to put her life at risk.

We are talking about equal opportunities here. What is being done to ensure that women display bravery like the male journalists?

Well so much has been done for us,thanks to the political willingness of the government of Rwanda. In our sector, we are working on changing the media environment. How? ARFEM in partnership with other media associations are encouraging media owners to have clear human resource management policies that guarantee job safety. As we mark Press Freedom Day, we have nearly 8 complaints from journalists who accuse their managers of not paying them their monthly salaries. Most of these do not even have service contracts. Yet job security is very important to all of us. We are also encouraging them to hire women not only because we are equally competent, but also to encourage women to come out and take their rightful place in the media society. Let’s sell ourselves to the media owners and they will poarch us from every corner we got to. I believe in striving to be the best I can be.

What is the state of the media in Rwanda in comparison to other regional countries? How can you compare media in Rwanda then and media now? Let me start off with the negative and later on end with the positive. Rwanda’s media sector is not as developed. We went to the extreme in 1994 and lent a

hand in destroying our own country. We did not have any school of journalism in Rwanda until the late 2000s. We did not have regulated media until 2003. The media law was vague and was only amended in 2009. We had only one radio station which was the state broadcaster and a TV station was only established in 1995. We had a few newspapers that were established by political parties to serve their own genocidal interests. But today, we have over 30 online publishers, several newspapers and magazines, 20+ radio stations, 7 community radio stations, and a TV station with possibly more in the pipeline after the digital migration.

What ground has media gained in Rwanda given the failure by the media in 1994? We have just got a new media law that guarantees freedom of expression and pulls the state out of regulation. A selfregulatory body has been set up and we hope it will meet the expectations of the people even though we still have a lot of sensational journalism. The state broadcaster ORINFOR, in the near future will be tuning into East Africa’s first real public broadcaster, the Rwanda Broadcasting Agency. We are the first African country to have the access to Information Law. The government has invested over 12million Euros in establising a countrywide upgraded broadcasting network system that will pave the way for easy digital

migration. These are very good stories to tell about how fast our media industry is growing.

You mention that Rwanda is first to allow its citizens access to information. Please explain why this is important. The law applies not only to public bodies but also to some private bodies which carry out work in the public interest. The law also has clear provisions on proactive disclosure and allows for all people to seek, receive and disseminate information. There is a strong emphasis on the importance of the public interest in the right to information. The passing of this law shows that the Rwandan government is keen on entrenching transparency and accountability as well as enhancing greater participation by citizens in the management of public affairs. We the media practitioners campaigned to have this law in place and it’s a great asset I just pray we don’t exceed our limits by prying into people’s private lives.

Would we be prying too much if we inquired about your love life? Aaah …..Well I am seeing someone special and that’s all I am going to say!

Apr - Jun 2013

THE DIVA

entrepreneuship

MAURITIUS

A New Shopping Basket! The Mauritian entrepreneurs’ delegation led by Mr. Louis Amedee Darga, Chairman Enterprise Mauritius and Mr. Dev Chamroo, CEO of Enterprise Mauritius was in Kigali on the 21st and 22nd of March at Serena Hotel to officially introduce a wide range of “Made in Mauritius’ products to Rwandans during a Buyers Sellers Meeting (BSM). By Athan Tashobya The event that had a number of women products like jewelry, sexy lingerie, oils and perfumes, detergents and garments, was organized by Enterprise Mauritius (EM), the Mauritian National Trade Promotion, in collaboration with Rwanda Development Board (RDB) and the Private Sector Federation (PSF). The initiative brought in a 12

THE DIVA

Apr - Jun 2013

delegation of 20 high profile businessmen and women from Mauritius to showcase their products and services to Rwandans in a bid to promote intra-regional trade and the integration of the region. Mr. Alex Ruzibukira, DG Ministry of Trade and IndustryRwanda, accompanied by Ms. Clare Akamanzi, CEO

Rwanda Development Board (RDB) and Mr. Hannington Namara, CEO Private Sector Federation (PSF) graced the official opening of the event. A wide range of products and services like textiles, plastics, detergents, chemical products, fertilizers, poultry, furniture, footwear, and printing as well as dynamic service sector operators including

ICT, consultancy, education and training services were displayed. During the BSM, Memorandums of Understanding (MOUs) were signed between Enterprise Mauritius on one hand and PSF and RDB on the other hand highlighting areas of trade partnership linkages

entrepreneuship between the two countries to ease trade and investment establishments. When asked how Rwanda is going to benefit from the BSM, Mr. Alex Ruzibukira said, “Rwanda will engage in partnerships, and warehouses will serve as distribution points, which will increase community revenue by creating job opportunities for Rwandans, and contribute to the development of the country by increasing tax revenues.“ While addressing a press conference, Mr. Chamroo, CEO Enterprise Mauritius said that Mauritius, a member of the Common Market for Eastern and Central Africa (COMESA) is seeking to find an ideal platform to establish fruitful

contacts between Rwandans and Mauritian businesses. In spite of being a sea locked country with a small economic size, low endowment of natural resources and remoteness from world markets, since independence in 1968, Mauritius has developed from a lowincome, agriculturally based economy to a middle-income diversified economy with growing industrial, financial, and tourist sectors. Mr. Amedee Darga, Chairman Enterprise Mauritius said that Enterprise Mauritius (EM), a public private company that operates under the aegis of the Ministry of Industry, Commerce and Consumer Protection, which is also a collaborative partner

between industries and the government, organized a Buyers Sellers Meeting with the aim of promoting bilateral trade agreements between the Mauritian and Rwandese business communities and build a business platform for the promotion of products within the SADC and COMESA. “The meeting comes as the official introduction of future trade relationships with the aims of helping businessmen from Mauritius to expand and penetrate in both regional and international markets, and at the same time develop their internal capability to meet the challenges of international competition,” Mr. Darga said.

manufactured in either country complying with the Rules of Origin are set to enter the other market duty free/ quota free,” said Ms. Clare Akamanzi, CEO-RDB. “There is a possibility for Mauritius’ textile and other industries to start investing in Rwanda in the near future. This shall promote exchange of products and visibility of Rwandan trade and investment opportunities to Mauritians, position Rwanda as the trade hub for the entire East Africa and COMESA region and encourage agreements, joint ventures and strategic alliances with Mauritians,” added Ms. Akamanzi.

“Like Rwanda, Mauritius is an FTA member of COMESA, meaning that products

Apr - Jun 2013

THE DIVA

Mauritius & Rwanda Buyers Sellers Meeting

THE DIVA

Apr - Jun 2013

THE DIVA

feature

PEACE THROUGH

BUSINESS (PTB)

The initiative for economic empowerment of women By Athan Tashobya

2013 marks the 19th anniversary of the end of the 1994 Rwandan genocide against the Tutsi that killed nearly a million people. Since then, the people of Rwanda have taken huge steps towards peace, recovery and women’s rights. Women entrepreneurs from the United States have been doing their part to empower Rwandan women to succeed, holding to the fundamental belief that, “When you educate a woman, you educate a nation.” Dr. Terry Neese founded The Institute for Economic Empowerment of Women (IEEW), an institute that later developed the PEACE THOUGH BUSINESS® (PTB) program in 2006. PTB is 16

THE DIVA

Apr - Jun 2013

a program that seeks to promote international peace and facilitate local economic stability for women who have suffered oppression, marginalization and whose homelands have been

devastated by war, genocide and poverty. Rwanda is a shining example of a country that has suffered through war, poverty, and the intended extermination

of its masses only to regain its composure and lead the world in empowering its women. Those who previously suffered have recovered and are now the breadwinners, the business

feature

owners, and the government officials responsible for the rebuilding of a nation. In the same quest, IEEW, under the leadership of Dr. Terry Neese was introduced to Rwanda in 2008 and has since then committed to educate and empower women in Rwanda via the PEACE THROUGH BUSINESS (PTB) programme. The Diva team attended their graduation function which was held in Kigali to follow the success story of these great women. The colorful event was graced by many dignitaries such as Ms. Oda Gasingizwa, the Minister for Gender and Family Affairs, Ms. Darcie Harris, a delegate from IEEW, Mr. Hannington Namara, CEO, PSF, Hope Tumukunde, Vice Mayor Kigali City, Ms. Rose Busingye, PTB Rwanda facilitator among others. Clarisse Iribagiza, 24 years

and the CEO of HEHE Ltd believes that joining PTB was the best opportunity she has ever had. “PTB is so inspiring, educational, but above all you get to meet very open minded people, focused and great entrepreneurs who set your dreams higher above your head and make you feel like a winner,” Clarisse said. She believes that being a successful entrepreneur is all about the mindset. “ When you believe in greatness, nothing can stop you from being great. PTB has made me realize that you don’t have to be 40 years old to be a successful entrepreneur, but rather act like a 40 year old person to become successful,” Clarisse added.

Another inspiring example is Ms. Ituze Ndutiye Colombe, 24 years and a 3rd year student in I.T. Colombe is the CEO and founder of INCO ICYUSA, a fashion brand based in Kimironko,a Kigali city suburb. She says PTB has helped her much more than she can explain. “Peace Through Business has helped me make better business plans and decisions. I have been able to manage my Fashion company and at the same time do well in my studies. Sometimes it is not easy for young entrepreneurs,” says Colombe. INCO ICYUSA is the first fashion brand in Rwanda to be owned by a Rwandan, and Colombe can’t hide the fact that she owes all her success

has helped her pay her school fees, buy a nice porsche and cover her other overhead costs including paying her employees. Akeza Linda, is the owner of GL Cleaning Company (GLCC) and a 2013 PTB graduate . Her business does a lot of corporate cleaning and she has won a couple of tenders to clean in a number of government offices around Kigali; a success she says is attributed to the business knowledge and skills she attained from the PTB Institution. Linda says that she is now in control of her future and can always improve depending on different experiences since

to PTB. She adds that her company Apr - Jun 2013

THE DIVA

she is self employed. GL cleaning company has over 50 employees and 80% of them are women. “I have always wanted to improve standards for women. That’s why my company employs more women than men,” Linda stressed. Rosette Ntwali is the founder of Dream Creations Ltd, a business that deals with printing and designing that was started in 2011. She says PTB has motivated her and taught her to be a better entrepreneur. “Through

free and independent,” Rosette said. Ms. Darcie Harris said IEEW is committed to the mission of empowering one woman at a time on both a local and global level economically, socially and politically. “Dr. Neese, the CEO IEEW offers a sound philosophy to put into practice: The best way I know to enrich a nation’s economy

is to empower its women,” Ms Darcie says.

PTB, I have been motivated and inspired to expand my business. I am now financially

THE DIVA

Apr - Jun 2013

Ms. Oda Gasingizwa, the Minister of Gender said that initiatives such as the PTB programme make the difference. She said that as women acquire business skills through training, they have the opportunity to do business in a more professional manner, moving a limiting mindset to thinking more like CEOs of their companies. When this happens,she says, people will start to see women taking on a leadership role in the private sector. “My ministry is charged with the welfare of family and the promotion of gender. I believe that at the center of

every family is a woman. As such we endorse anything that empowers a woman because this serves to foster the good of the family. Healthy families make for a healthy nation,” the Minister said. Ms Oda appreciated the initiative of the institute to economically empower women under the leadership of Dr. Terry Neese for creating a platform where Rwanda’s women business owners connect and share information with women business owners in the United States. And she promised to render any support to the initiative.

ministry

Women

Foundation Ministries Women Foundation Ministries (WFM) was started in 2006 by Apostle Alice Mignonne UK. It is a ministry that empowers families. She didn’t start it as her own project but as a revelation that God gave her while she was in prayer. She was told to empower families spiritually, emotionally and physically. WFM’s vision is based in the scripture found in Proverbs 27:17 that says; “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” Mignonne was told that though this vision had started in Rwanda, it would reach all over the world. Members and all other women at large meet every Tuesday for a fellowship at their multi- purpose hall in Kimihurura. During that

fellowship, they praise and worship together, share the word of God and also share each other’s life testimonies. Through testimonies, women have gained hope, selfesteem, spiritual growth and also personal development. Women now are not dependent on their husbands. They now contribute to the upkeep of their homes and much more. They also meet every Friday evening in a program called WIRIRA. In her vision, Apostle Alice saw a big crowd of women and youth crying and was showed a big banner written on WIRIRA which means “stop crying”. She was given a handkerchief and a voice told her to go and wipe their tears, and so the Wirira program came into existence. It’s one of the

powerful evenings at WFM where women and men meet and fellowship together with special preachings from different servants of God, alongside testimonies. There is also another special evening of prophecy every Sunday. In its expansion, WFM gave birth to Noble Family Church located in Kibagabaga in

Kagugu in October 2012. Here, women meet for prayer and spiritual renewal, counseling, women conferences, couple retreats, weddings and parties, leadership gatherings, relaxation and meditation, and also business planning and mentorship. WFM has over 700 permanent members and Noble Family Church has over 300 permanent members. WFM recently opened in Kayonza District and last week on 24th April, it also officially opened in Uganda (Rwentobo). It’s soon setting up a branch in Burundi.

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” December 2011 and Shiloh Women Retreat Center in

Apr - Jun 2013

THE DIVA

from the village

Unsung HEROINES By Shanitah Nyarwaya

Most of us stand to attention or tune our ears when we read or watch news where celebrities are concerned but will be hard pressed to attend to the lives of simple folk who would never make headlines. Because they â&#x20AC;&#x153;do not make newsâ&#x20AC;?.

THE DIVA

Apr - Jun 2013

from the village How wrong! If we care to look carefully enough, we will be pleasantly surprised how many rich stories from simple folk are waiting to be written. Well, I made it a point to visit Noel Orphanage Nyudo in Rubavu District to see how they operate, and I was delighted to meet such a large number of unsung heroines who are the reason for the success of this orphanage and many more. The Noel Orphanage, the first orphanage in Rwanda, was founded in 1955 by Aloysius Bigirumwami, a Catholic Bishop, to take care of the rising number of orphans as a result of the high maternal mortality rate at the time. I visited the orphanage on March 9th, 2013 and discovered that there were 504 dependants at the time. While touring the orphanage, I was taken to a home for babies aged 2-6months, most of whom had been abandoned by their parents. Most of these babies had been picked up by local officials and brought to the orphanage. Although I was mesmerized by the smiling faces of these children to the extent that I felt like I would walk out with one of the babies if there were no bureaucratic procedure in place for adoption, the one thing I noticed was the diligence and selflessness of the caretakers of these children. Most of these caretakers are in their late twenties. But the love

they showed the children was profound that you would think they are actually their birth mothers. If I was given the opportunity to give an award, my 2013 award would go to these unsung heroines. When you talk to them about the welfare of each child, they will tell you what one child likes and what another does not like. The way they carry them around the room on their backs, feed them and shower them as well as dress them up is amazing. I would say that the two hours I spent at the orphanage will be the best hours of the year for me. Athanasie Nyirabagesera, who started working at the orphanage in 1973 said that seeing a baby grow into a man or woman is a gift given by God only. “Each time I see a child turn out into a man or a woman I just praise God. When a child is adopted from the orphanage, we still follow up to know how the child is doing,” Nyirabagesera explains. Nyirabagesera is currently the Director of the orphanage and oversees the day to day running of the orphanage. “My message to people and especially parents is to love their children. This orphanage was started by Aloysius Bigirumwami, after a mother in Muramba died while giving birth and she was buried with the newborn because there was no one to take care of it. This was inhuman and very sad.”

“We even take care of babies from very poor families who don’t have the capacity to take care of newborns. When the child out grows that critical age, the parents come and take their child,” Nyirabagesera reveals. There are thousands of children who have gone through the orphanage and the gratifying thing is that some come back to look after other children as a gesture of goodwill. Christine Ayinkamiye, the accountant at the orphanage, was brought to the orphanage in 1994 at the age of seven. When asked why she chose to come back and work at the orphanage, she said, “It’s as a result of the good moral

East or West, home is best,” Ayinkamiye says. The 25-year- jovial Ayinkamiye attained a Bachelor’s Degree in Accounting from Ruhengeri Institute of Higher Education (INES-RUHENGERI). “I advise anyone who was raised in this orphanage not to forget about their young brother and sisters. We need to help them such as in paying for their school fees or in any way possible. When you’re lucky and you get someone to take care of you, it’s a blessing to pass on the blessings as well,” Ayinkamiye emphasizes. As I make my way out of

If I was given the opportunity to give an award, my 2013 award would go to these unsung heroines.

values that were taught to me while in this orphanage that I decided to come back and also take care of my other young brothers and sisters. Since I don’t have any way that I can pay back for being taken care of , I felt that I would have to work here. This is my home and I’m happy when I’m here.

the orphanage, I can’t help feeling pure admiration for these selfless individuals who have made it their business to extend a helping hand to the unfortunate members of the society. It is not lost on me that some of the children are mentally incapacitated and require only the extremely patient to bear with them. Apr - Jun 2013

THE DIVA

trubute

The Legendary

CHINUA ACHEBE By Izela Barlow

THE DIVA

Apr - Jun 2013

trubute The news that Chinua Achebe, a great and legendary African writer, had passed on came to me in perhaps the worst way possible, thanks to today’s social media. I first saw this on a friend’s status update and my first mental reaction was – it’s impossible! I continually told myself it was utter rubbish, a bad joke, anything but the truth.

whom he had been a great source of inspiration and who appreciated him as much as I did. I guess for the first time I understood just how the mourning masses felt when they mourned Lady Diana or even Mother Theresa. I guess this time round I felt the pain of loss much closer home because I love literature and am a very big fan of African literature. Part of that sentiment also comes from reminiscing the childhood days of rediscovering oneself through various literary works – recognising a part of oneself and forging bonds with authors I have never even met. I weep for Achebe.

This is the man who I promptly logged out but a introduced me to Yeats, and stark reminder rudely jolted in so doing, beautiful poetry. me out of my unbelief when For those who know of my I saw his face again on a family, this may be a surprise muted TV screen and again, as we have been blessed I ignored the urge to switch with writing talent right on the volume and confirm. from my grandfather, father, Two hours later, I gathered uncles, cousins and even both my guts, braced myself and my sisters. But I never took mentally prepared myself for the time to seriously read the inevitable worst news poetry until I came across (you see I do not handle such losses very well) and I logged Achebe’s quotation from Yeats, The Second Coming, onto Facebook and Twitter. while I was reading Achebe’s Maybe it is just my circle of friends or maybe his “Turning and turning in the widening gyre works were The falcon cannot hear the falconer; really that Things Fall Apart; the centre cannot hold; phenomenal Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world.” but it just W. B. Yeats, ‘The Second Coming’ seemed like 80% of my Things Fall Apart. contacts were all mourning him. As much as the various At 13 years old I felt like my eulogies comforted me, world was swiftly falling apart it was more comforting and coming across a title like to know that there was a Things Fall Apart made me whole league of people to

feel understood, however misguided that notion may have been. In fact, the contents of the book were nothing like I had expected but I wasn’t disappointed. What I found was a much richer realm of deeper meanings that made my introverted problems seem trivial. It was my introduction to literature. That along with Ngugi wa Thiongo’s A Grain of Wheat and Ousmane Sembene’s God’s Bits of Wood introduced me to philosophy and were truly like an expose into human nature even to my unsophisticated young mind. Although all three books had different writing styles which were all entertaining, I thoroughly enjoyed Achebe. He did not mince his words and he just sucked you into the story, no beckoning! Sample this:

CHAPTER ONE Okonkwo was well known throughout the nine villages and even beyond. His fame rested on solid personal achievements. As a young man of eighteen he had brought honour to his village by throwing Amalinze the Cat. Amalinze was the great wrestler who for seven years was unbeaten, from Umuofia to Mbaino. He was called the Cat because his back would never touch the earth. It was this man that Okonkwo threw in a fight which the old men agreed was one

of the fiercest since the founder of their town engaged a spirit of the wild for seven days and seven nights. The drums beat and the flutes sang and the spectators held their breath. Amalinze was a wily craftsman, but Okonkwo was as slippery as a fish in water. Every nerve and every muscle stood out on their arms, on their backs and their thighs, and one almost heard them stretching to breaking point. In the end Okonkwo threw the Cat. Chinua Achebe, ‘Things Fall Apart’ The first two paragraphs of Achebe’s book and I was sold! The greatness of Amalinze the Cat was obvious but who would not want to know about he who ‘threw the cat!’ so to speak? Dear Mr Achebe, I wanted to write you a beautiful eulogy but I do not know how to. Yes, you inspired me and will continue to but I just do not know how to say farewell. I will not say farewell. I choose to sustain your inspiration. You live on in my home and in the library of my children; you shall walk with them on their literary path. With you they shall learn to think like great men do, to value life, to embrace it and most of all to live it. LONG LIVE CHINUA ACHEBE, my teacher and my friend! Apr - Jun 2013

THE DIVA

art

FESPAD 8th edition endED on a high note

By Susan Birike

Dancers from Congo during the launch of FESPAD 24

THE DIVA

Apr - Jun 2013

art Curtains closed on the week- long Pan African Dancing Festival with an enthralling, colorful, wellattended ceremony at Amahoro Stadium. It was an event like no other, truly living

to expectation as thrilling performances were experienced from different, talented and celebrated artists form diverse parts of Africa.

Femi kuti on stage

The evening of the final day kicked off with traditional performances by different groups from the six participating nations-Uganda, Namibia, Burundi, DRC, Egypt and hosts Rwanda. The event had purposed to excel no matter the obstacles because try as it might, the weather, which at first had threatened to pour, finally made up its mind to cooperate with FESPAD thus putting a smile on the organizers’ faces. Rwanda and DR Congo emerged the winners in the country contest. Burundi won the award for best performer. However, in an event like FESPAD, everyone is a winner, because each participating country walked away with an award in recognition of their effort. Aside from cultural presentations, the night featured a fantastic concert where both local Rwandan artistes and international stars won over the hearts of many. Jay Polly was

Femi Kutis dancers

obviously the crowd’s favorite as they rose to their feet to give him a well-deserved standing ovation for a sterling performance. However, there was more to come: the darling of many, Nairobi-based Burundian music veteran Kidum, hit the stage and his performance kept everybody dancing including the Ministers who were also on their feet dancing and cheering him on. Dressed in a shiny grey suit, Kidum displayed different talents from singing to playing a musical instrument. Ice Prince got on stage after Kidum and as expected, the now ecstatic crowd was fired up and charged. Clothed in matching camouflage, the Nigerian star took to the stage with his backup and DJ to spice up the performance. He performed his popular ‘Oleku’ and ‘Superstar’ singles before giving way to Jamaican Anthony Moses Davis (Oh yes, that’s Beenie Man). Beenie Man came on stage few minutes past midnight, introduced by South African TV star KB or rather Kabelo. With a full back up band, the Dancehall King started off with his old hits from the 90’s before slowly moving into the 2000’s. He re-awakened memories of ‘Girls dem Sugar’ and ‘Feel it Boy’, the global hits he did with Mya and Janet Jackson, respectively. Doors were open to an eager public at 1pm but the show did not start until 6pm. Held under the theme ‘Spirit of Expression’, it kicked off with Apr - Jun 2013

THE DIVA

performances from local artists like Password, Bruce Melody, King James, Rider Man, Jay Polly, Gaby Kamanzi and Irangira Makanyaga, followed by cultural troupes, who wowed fans with their vibrant performances. Dream Boys too did not disappoint. Rwanda was represented by two traditional dance groups, Inema and the national ballet Urukerereza, while other countries were represented by one troupe each. Not to be left out were Ugandan female rappers Keko and Camp Mulla and a Kenyan Hip-hop group which also worked the crowd with great performances.

King of Coga, Rafiki Mazimpaka, who has not been seen much on the music scene lately, appeared to remind his fans that he is still around, more like Dr Claude. The pair proved that they still 26

THE DIVA

Apr - Jun 2013

have what it takes. The FESPAD 8th edition was to be officially launched on 23rd February, but was later suspended to the next day due to a heavy downpour. At the very beginning, concerns had been raised by the public especially those who had turned up for the launch at Petit Stadium as the area could not easily accommodate the crowd. The closing ceremony, held on Sunday, was attended by several dignitaries including the First Lady Jeannette Kagame, Youth Minister Jean Philbert Nsengimana, Minister of Trade and Industry, François Kanimba and Clare Akamanzi, the CEO of Rwanda Development Board, which is also an organiser of FESPAD 2013. A total of 40 countries were invited to take part in

this year’s festival, with a delegation of 10 people each— however only 6 countries including Burundi, Uganda, the Democratic Republic of Congo, Egypt, Namibia and Rwanda participated in competitions, determined to be the champions of African dance. In his opening remarks during the launch, the Minister for Culture and Sports, Protais Mitali, called on African countries to embrace the festival saying it has the potential to build a strong Africa in terms of cementing concrete relations among countries. “This festival is not only a structure that leads to promotion of cultural diversity on the continent but it is also a major contributory factor towards unity in Africa,” “African culture and artistes need to be recognized and supported; culture is the basis

of development,” the Minister said. It is believed that concerts and dancing competitions that followed best defined the festival that has won many across Africa with a great potential to bringing together Africans to showcase their culture through music and dance. Rwanda’s Lion Manzi and Flavia Tumusiime from Uganda were the Masters of Ceremony. The festival attracted thousands of residents who also enjoyed the local traditional dances. The day following the opening saw the national dance competition kicking off with performances in both Kigali at Petit Stade and Rwamagana District in the Eastern Province.

Dance workshops were also organized at the French Institute to give a chance to the population to teach and learn traditional dance from each respective country. The following day, dancing competitions moved to Huye and Musanze Districts. On Friday, residents were treated to an African Dance Competition at Petit Stade in the evening. A Gala Night was held at Kigali Serena Hotel where renowned Nigerian Afro beat star Olufela Femi Anikulapo Kuti staged a great performance. His performance at the event was backed by his Positive Force Band with his exciting female dancers. At the same concert, Canadabased Mighty Popo with Liza Kamikazi, a Rwandan traditional musician, never disappointed giving fans only the best. The beach party that was held in Gisenyi was another addition that made this year`s FESPAD exceptional. With the 2013 FESPAD covering most parts of the country, Rubavu District hosted one of the biggest

nights of the dance festival artists like Kidum, Ice Prince, Uncle Austin, Dr. Claude and many other musicians who performed at Kivu Serena Hotel, in a show dubbed ‘Beach Party.’ Local DJs Karim and Danches helped to spice up the party. Entrance fee was Rwf 10,000 and the performances started at 9 p.m. FESPAD was started in 1998 by the former Organization of African Unity (OAU), now the African Union. Anaclet Karangwa, the Coordinator of FESPAD competitions said that, “Shifting activities of FESPAD from Kigali City to other parts of the country allowed local residents to witness and participate in the event.” The 8th edition definitely went a notch higher with spectacular performances from different countries. With people looking forward to the 9th edition of FESPAD, the future is certainly very bright.

Apr - Jun 2013

THE DIVA

career

Women & Career Myths about

By Claire Aduvuka

THE DIVA

Apr - Jun 2013

career I was recently preparing for a talk for a small group of women. When thinking about the topic and how I was going to create a 40 minute presentation that was engaging, I got thinking about the challenges and hurdles I have faced in my career as a woman. Most of my challenges have been in ignore preconceived notions, and not getting upset when someone has one about me. The more I thought about the challenges, the more I realized that they can be boiled down to 5 myths about working women:

1. Women belong barefoot and pregnant Some people think that a woman cannot be a CEO and a mother at the same time. I once heard a man say that his experience with mothers, especially new ones, is that they never stop talking about their children. So one can conclude that a “Mommy CEO” sits around at work and talks about kids all day. Also, women are inherently emotional and good businesses are not run on

emotions, bad ones are. This is not true. Women all over the world have proved that you can be a great mother and a successful CEO at the same time.

2. You can’t be cute and smart Maria, a woman entrepreneur presented her business idea to a group of 4 venture capitalists. She was very well dressed and had an excellent presentation. She knew her numbers and was very well spoken. When she was done with the presentation and left the Venture Capitalists’ office, the 4 VCs, one woman and 3 men, discussed the presentation and the business idea. While there were certainly other factors, one of the men could not get over the fact that this woman had come to the meeting with hot pink, long nails. That was the nail in her coffin. So yes, we as women continue to fight this stereotype. But how do we debunk this myth? You can be cute and smart, just be smart about how you are cute!

3. No girls allowed, business is for boys A friend was in a meeting with some high-level executives within a large company. As the meeting wrapped up everyone was casually talking about their kids. They all talked about finalizing schedules to be at

parent-teacher meetings or a football match. One of the men sighed and said “thank goodness my kids are not being raised by a nanny”. My friend’s children, meanwhile, were at home with their nanny. For a moment it felt like she had to jump in and defend her choice. And then she realized – he didn’t even know that he had said anything controversial. She just smiled and said nothing. “So yes, I deal with this issue more than I want to, and so do other women in business. But the bigger picture here is that this man accepted me in this meeting as “one of the boys” – and that to me means I was successful in that meeting. This man did not think I belonged in the home,” said my friend. Myth debunked.

4. There’s no crying in business An entrepreneur came into our office to talk to us about a business the entrepreneur had started. This entrepreneur launched into a passionate speech about the business, telling us about the dreams and aspirations that went into it, even the dream house that had to be sold to fund it. This entrepreneur even cried during the story. Our team, while a little surprised at the extent of the emotion, was excited about the passion behind the business. And now for the punch line – the entrepreneur was not a woman, but a man.! He presented the idea to 2

women managers who only said, “Wow, what passion!” Crying might not necessarily belong in every business meeting but if your passion for your career is behind the emotion, it will get you far.

5. Math is hard for girls Samantha was speaking to a client, going over some spreadsheets. The client was getting frustrated because he didn’t seem to understand the figures or like them. The more Samantha explained them, the more the man was frustrated. Finally he said, “Is your boss a man? Can I speak to him?”This made her ask, “Were the numbers going to change if a man read them to him? Was the spreadsheet all of a sudden going to make sense to him?” The problem was the man didn’t like the numbers or understand them - not that the woman helping him didn’t. Whether he likes it or not, this man should realize that more and more women are breaking through math and science ceilings. Clearly women have faced a multitude of challenges but I think the more that strong, smart, driven women succeed and join the ranks of successful women, the more these myths and stereotypes will fall by the wayside. As a woman, you don’t have to ROAR (although sometimes it feels good) but I think you have to focus on your goals, and discount anyone who gets in your way. And the sky will only be the limit for you! Apr - Jun 2013

THE DIVA

fashion

Fashion Tricks to Make Your

MIDDLE LOOK SMALLER By Brendah K. Kemigisha

Most people especially women, wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t mind slimming down their midsection a little further, but exercise isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t the only answer. Your wardrobe choices have an impact on how slim your stomach, hips and back appear. If you wear the right outfit, it can make you look around 10 pounds lighter immediately. So choose your wardrobe carefully to ensure your outfits are flattering. Below are the tricks I have used and hope they will work wonders for you too.

THE DIVA

Apr - Jun 2013

The Right Shirt When it comes to making your middle look slim, the right shirt can make all the difference. Choose an over shirt with a wide neck that closes together just below your bust line. The slimming neck leading down to the upper torso will make your middle look thin. Wear a stretchy shirt underneath it that helps support the extra weight around your middle, condensing it down to give you a slimmer shape. The undershirt should fit properly, though. Don’t wear something that pinches you.

Slimming Pants Even the slimmest figure can fall prey to dreaded muffin tops if you wear pants that cinch your waste. Hold in your soft stomach with pants that rise up to just below your belly button. Choose pants made from elastic material that contours to your shape while holding in some of your extra stomach mass. High-rise pencil skirts can also help slim down your stomach by holding in the slight curve of your lower stomach and making your lower back smoother.

Color and Pattern Selection Darker colors help shrink your frame through an optical illusion. Choose a black jacket that gives you full coverage or a simple black turtleneck. Once you have the basic black down so it covers and slims your midsection, add some colorful details. Adding a colored scarf that wraps around your neck and drapes down your front isn’t going to cancel out the slimming effect of the black clothing. If you choose an outfit with a pattern, avoid anything with plain vertical stripes. Vertical stripes actually make your body look larger.

The Right Fit You may have days where you look at your body and feel like you need to hide it under a large, loose shirt. You aren’t doing yourself any favor when you dress in oversized clothing, though. You want to wear clothing that drapes around your curves in a flattering way instead of hanging lose all around your body like a huge muumuu. Similarly, going too small can leave you looking large around the midsection. For example, if you choose a skimpy skirt, wear a full-length shirt so you don’t look like you’re busting from the seams in some undersized outfit. All these once followed will help you look much much smaller and smarter midway.

Apr - Jun 2013

THE DIVA

health

OCCUPATIONAL

Health & Safety IN THE WORK PLACE

By Namatungo Kavuma Rhona Organisational and Industrial Psychologist

When you are busy setting up a business and worrying about cash flow, overheads and products, workplace health and safety might be the last thing on your mind – but it is just as important as the other aspects of business.

work - there are professions which involve much riskier job profiles. There are people working in mines, fishermen, truck-drivers, power line workers, pilots, farmers, ranchers, etc., Who face far graver threats at work.

As a business owner you have responsibilities regarding health and safety in your workplace. You need to ensure that your business doesn’t create health and safety problems for your employees, customers or the public. As the saying goes, “Those who work the safest way, live to work another day”.

In several places of work, there are several hazards which endanger the lives of the employees and employers as well. Hazards are potential sources of harm or adverse health effects on a person or persons. These hazards are in different categories:

Workplace safety is a concept that involves creating a safe working atmosphere, and securing and safeguarding the lives of the employees or workers. It is of prime importance since there are professions which involve risks that could turn out to be fatal. Although there are people who think that loss of Internet connectivity or a computer crash can be the ultimate emergency at 32

THE DIVA

Apr - Jun 2013

Physical hazards are common sources of injuries and fatalities in many areas, most especially in health, transport, construction and mining industries. Other physical hazards include confined space noise, and temperature extremes and electricity which can also pose dangers to work. Machines are common in many manufacturing industries and they are dangerous to workers. Many

machines involve moving parts, sharp edges, hot surfaces and other hazards with the potential to crush, burn, cut, stab or otherwise strike or wound workers if used carelessly. Machines are also often involved indirectly in worker deaths and injuries, such as in cases where a worker slips and falls, possibly upon a sharp or pointed object. Psychological and social issues. There is bullying, which may include emotional and verbal abuse, and workrelated stress, whose causal factors include excessive working time and overwork, sexual harassment, not to mention but a few. Lastly there are biological hazards such as bacteria, virus and fungi. Chemical hazards are fumes from industries, heavy metals, acids and so much more. It is not an option therefore that employers make great effort to ensure safety at the work place.

However, there are some measures to ensure that hazards are minimized. These measures include; regular and thorough maintenance of the equipment, providing employees with the information, instruction and training they need to do their job safely and without damaging their health and consulting with employees directly or through their health and safety representatives about health and safety in the workplace. According to the Occupational Health and safety laws, employees are required to follow instructions and rules in the workplace work and behave in ways which are safe and do not endanger the health and safety of anyone in the workplace. If both employers and employees will put the above measures into action, there will be improved productivity and efficiency, lower absenteeism rates, lower workers’ compensation premiums because of fewer injuries and illnesses at workplaces.

Vintage

What’s it with the vintage? By Flavia Osem

A car worth 1 million US dollars, a watch that costs a startling 250,000 US dollars, a necklace whose price is too obscene to mention and Vinyl records that could be sold to purchase an entire family estate. Just like many of us, you are probably wondering why any hardworking, self respecting, decent human being would waste so much money on such mind-numbingly mundane items, though the owners of such items would give you an answer as simple as any; they’re vintage. We’ve all heard this word being thrown around. However fancy the words are, when you look up the word vintage in a dictionary, what they are basically telling you is that the word actually means “old”. Why, then, would a completely sane person pay over a million dollars or pounds or whatever currency for a dress or car that, though in pristine condition, is older than their parents? It just doesn’t seem to make much sense, does it? But then there are lots of reasons why people would do something so seemingly ludicrous. The most pragmatic way of looking at it is to consider the durability factor. If the car has worked for over half a century, why would it stop now? If five generations of people haven’t been let down, why would you be the first? This makes even more sense

when you consider a precision instrument like a watch. A hand-crafted watch from the 1800’s is very likely more durable than a factory-made timepiece from 2008. The attention to detail in most vintage items is simply breathtaking. Music connoisseurs, for instance, prefer the vinyl records from the 50’s and 60’s to the plastic CD’s of the current era. The vinyl, to begin with, almost certainly has more beautiful and intriguing album artwork than the CD’s of the current era. Moving to the actual music, the slight imperfections; the scratches and bumps on the vinyl disc itself make the music seem almost…alive, as opposed to the lifeless, edited sound from the CD’s. Vintage items also usually have more character than

their modern-day equivalents. A vintage dress from the Victorian era, for example, tells a lot about the people of that particular time. It tells us about their perception of beauty. Take the constriction on the waists of these dresses, for example. We can tell from the existence of this constriction that the universally-accepted view of the ideal woman was one with a slim waistline, hence braces were worn on the lower torso to enable the body gain the shape needed to fit in the dresses that were in vogue at the time. This illustrates the origin of the current phenomenon of “zerosize” runway models. The value of some of these vintage items is also due to the sentimental and historical values attached to them. This is usually the case with family heirlooms such as wedding and engagement rings

passed on from generation to generation in a family. Other vintage items, such as Enzo Ferrari’s original sports car, Mohammed Ali’s boxing gloves, Elizabeth Taylor’s diamond necklaces or David Livingstone’s hunting rifle have an actual piece of historic value attached to them. On the whole, there’s a more authentic element of beauty on vintage items that has almost ceased to exist in recent times. True beauty is timeless and we seem to have forgotten how to produce it. The aficionados of this eternal variety of beauty, however, look to our past and find timeless beauty in the vintage record stores, vintage clothing shops and antique stores because honestly, whatever they are, they don’t make them like they used to.

Apr - Jun 2013

THE DIVA

health

GETTING IN

Shape after pregnancy

By Brendah K. Kemigisha

With a little patience and sound goals, losing your weight after pregnancy is entirely possible without losing your mind. Walking is something that should be done every single day when you are pregnant. Take 30 to 45 minutes out of your day and get some fresh air. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Walk tall and walk proudâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;, says Matt Muhwezi, personal trainer in Health & Fitness.

THE DIVA

Apr - Jun 2013

After nine months of carrying another human being in your body, you may feel as though you’ve fallen down a rabbit hole from which you will never return.

Use the time while pregnant to plot out a plan for how to get back into shape once you give birth. A mother, Phoebe Uwayo, who lives in Remera, Kigali, says she started

“It is frustrating when the weight does not just fall off,” says Dr. Musoni Sims, an obstetrician and gynecologist. “I always tell my patients, ‘It took nine months to put it on, and it can take nine months to take it off.’ “ You don’t have to be frustrated by the post-baby body blues, though. If you start slowly, follow through, create a schedule and set reasonable goals for your body type, pregnancy type and infant needs, you’ll be on the road to postpartum health in no time.

Acceptance and Planning Keeping fit while pregnant will help you bounce back. The first step to getting fit after pregnancy is to accept that your new body will undergo some irreversible changes. “The abdominal wall does not ever really return to the pre-pregnancy state once it has been stretched, “Dr. Musoni says. “Some women do keep extra weight in the lower abdomen even if they get back to pre-pregnancy weight.” “The best way to minimize the impact is to stay fit throughout pregnancy,” says Matt Muhwezi, personal trainer in Health & Fitness. He recommends concentrating on flexibility, stretching and, most of all, walking.

researching healthy eating habits and fitness routines while she was expecting, then she put them into action after her baby’s birth.

How BreastFeeding Helps You Lose Weight Women who choose to breast-feed will find themselves ahead of the weight-loss game. The excess calories burned while feeding a child allow for higher caloric intake and heightened metabolism. Dr. Musoni says the breastfeeding woman can expect to burn 500 more calories per day than her counterparts. Breast-feeding can cut the extra weight indirectly, too, Musoni says, because many women choose to eat healthier foods while feeding their babies. The increased need for water, vitamins and core nutrients keeps breastfeeding women on a more controlled diet, even if they are eating larger portions than they otherwise would.

Easy Home Workouts Walking outdoors is great for mom and baby. Once your new baby arrives, finding time to get to the gym or even a half-hour to pop in a workout DVD at home will be almost impossible. The easiest way to get into some exercise while caring for an infant is to incorporate your baby into your routine, Muhwezi says. “Every child giggles in excitement when someone takes and presses them over their head,” he said. “How is that any different than doing an overhead press with two 8-pound dumbbells?” he poses.

The Gym Routine As your child grows, you’ll be able to step away more often, and maybe even get to the gym. When you go, Muhwezi advises a fullbody workout three times per week, concentrating on squats, lunges, pushes and pulls, and twists and bends. For postpartum women, he says, it’s important to mimic everyday movements in your workouts. After Phoebe gave birth, she started CrossFit, a combination of weightlifting, sprinting and gymnastics. The goal is to maximize your repetitions in a set amount of time, with each workout lasting no more than an intense 20 minutes.

“While I have had a good loss on the scale, I’ve had a great loss in inches, and that is more important to me,” Phoebe said. “I feel strong and empowered, and my selfconfidence is sky high.”

Don’t Forget Diet Nutrients found in green, leafy vegetables are necessary for the postpartum woman. Diet is half of the fitness equation and should not be forgotten. Your body needs to replenish its nutrient stores after pregnancy. Musoni advises including nuts, seeds and beans in your diet and buying iron-fortified bread and pasta. You should also eat plenty of dark green, leafy vegetables such as kale and spinach, he says. He cautions against eating too little to try to lose the baby weight. He advises women with newborns to eat plenty of protein such as chicken, turkey and lean cuts of beef. Most women find success through eating many small meals each day, Musoni says. “It’s better to indulge frequently than to deprive yourself to the point where you are ready to give up dieting for good,” he says. “The most important thing is to remain consistent and with all that, your shape should come back.”

Apr - Jun 2013

THE DIVA

gender

The Gender Agenda:

Gaining Momentum But pray, who will propagate the boy childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s voice?

By Jesse Kimani 36

THE DIVA

Apr - Jun 2013

The theme for this year’s World Women’s Day was, “The Gender Agenda: Gaining Momentum” which largely looks at the gains that have been made in the empowerment of the girl child. Granted, giant steps have been taken to improve the growth and development of women’s rights. This movement has almost dealt a permanent blow on traditions that looked at women as inferior or second class citizens and subjecting them to humiliating practices. But as the theme for 2013 reads, despite the many gains, there is still a lot that needs to be done to get women to where they ought to be in society hence the relentless fight for women’s rights. The woman being the backbone of any family and the nation at large, she needs to be given utmost respect and not be discriminated against. But even with the many obstacles against her, the African woman has always risen to the occasion to prove her critics wrong. This is why the number of successful women is growing from presidents, ministers, top entrepreneurs and managers, activists, to dignitaries.

But even as we laud the girl child and continue to fuel the fire towards the women’s movement, is it possible we are forgetting the other gender? Everywhere you look, even in universities, the

number of scholarships that are specifically designed for women are increasing by the year as more and more donors come in to sponsor the girl child. There are a number of organizations that would quickly pick a girl child from disadvantaged families and provide her with education and welfare all through until she is stable enough to run her life. But the boy child largely remains in the shadows. If you were to take a look at the increasing number of street families in most of our African cities, around 95% are male, majority of who are involved in crime.

When a family breaks down, the girl child normally has a government or NonGovernmental Organization that quickly comes to her aid, while the boy child will most often be thrown into less desirable homes where they are mistreated, abused and molested, forcing many to go to the streets and fend for themselves.

There is a misconception in our society where people automatically assume that boys are the stronger sex and that they do not deserve as much attention as the girl. But psychologically, both genders require the same care and attention when growing up and the fact that boys may not be as emotional as girls does not mean that they do not require the love and affection that girls receive.

The psychological bedrock of every individual is built when one is young so if you show the boy child that he is not as important as the girl, he will most probably develop resentment.

Possible consequences of this skewed love and attention will turn most boys into chauvinists or drug and alcohol addicts to hide their emotional wounds and scars as they have never learnt how to deal with their emotions. Most are taught that they are men and they should be strong and not show emotion. Hence many die with problems bottled up inside them as they do not know how to handle them unlike women who are taught to show emotion. These women will probably seek professional help if need be.

There is a misconception in our society where people automatically assume that boys are the stronger sex and that they do not deserve as much attention as the girl.

where one gender excels and the other bitterly limps through life.

So as the

gender agenda gains momentum, I think it is imperative to always remember that there are two genders and that gender does not always refer to one gender. We need to retrace our steps and pick up the baton we dropped, otherwise we shall end up being a dysfunctional society Apr - Jun 2013

THE DIVA

interior design

Newlyweds discovering your

couple’s

style By Efua Hagan

As a newly wedded couple, your lives are probably lit up, in fact, so brightly that you can’t even contain it. You’ve finally found the man of your dreams and the prospect of spending the rest of your life with this other person brings you so much joy. Arrange pictures that mean a lot to you.

Fresh flowers or plants are great to liven up any home

Why not channel some of these emotions of joy towards turning your new home into a true reflection of you as a couple? After all, some of the greatest ideas are born in moments of true bliss!

A dose of patience and tons of creativity! If you are lucky, your spouse will have the same decorating style as you, or may simply leave the entire decision making process in your hands. However, this isn’t always the case. If you both have particular styles consider meeting each other half way, 38

THE DIVA

Apr - Jun 2013

a perfect match!

and join your ideas as best as you can as this will definitely help. It’s the differences that make the relationship more interesting, so use them to your advantage! If you find yourselves challenged by your differences, an easier approach would be to split the rooms between you. For example, wife takes the kitchen, dining room and bathroom, while the husband takes the living room, hallway and bedroom. This technique would still require some unity so agree on basics like what the color scheme should be.

items you already have for inspiration. For example, imagine there’s a gold and maroon floor rug in the living room that you both really like. In that case, you can paint the accent wall maroon to match the rug and use accessories that are golden. Paint is a great way to make a dramatic statement without spending a lot of money. The best part is that you can simply paint over the work if you decide you do not like it.

If you wind up with furniture of different shades, consider painting them all the same color to bring in some unity. Not only will this action give your home a more sophisticated and stylish look, but if done well, can make your furniture look brand new without having to spend much on it. Another way to get creative with your furniture is to play with its positioning in the room. Also bear in mind that any room overstuffed with furniture is not very inviting. Once things are tidied away and placed in their proper storage areas there will be much more space left for the furniture.

Light Up Your Home

Many times newlyweds bring

Light is usually associated with liveliness, joy and positivity. The right amount of lighting can make all the difference

their furniture together after the wedding. This sometimes leads to the discovery that unlike the couple, their pieces of furniture don’t exactly make

to your home. Light fixtures should be bright enough. However, if you are interested in setting different moods, opt for those that can be dimmed

Get Creative with Furniture

Ok ladies, some of you may be thinking that men have no interest in such matters but you’ll be surprised! In fact I know a certain couple where the husband is responsible for almost every detail in their beautiful home.

Brighten it up! Many people are used to retaining white walls and the thought of painting the walls a different color can be unthinkable for them. But it does not have to be. For starters, you and your spouse can turn to other

and brightened manually. Alternatively, I find that for a cozy and relaxed atmosphere, tall African lamps situated in various corners will work wonders when switched on and used as an alternative to the main light switches. If you have a naturally dark house, opt for light curtains in order to let enough light in during the day.

Choose the right Accessories After spending a lot of money on the wedding, as a couple you may only wish to invest a modest amount into your home- and this is perfectly normal. Using accessories to decorate provides the opportunity to do just that. Fresh plants and flowers are a great place to start. In addition, consider hanging up art pieces and photos that are meaningful to you. Make or purchase a few throw pillows to give the bed and sofa set some personality. These are just a few ideas; the options are limitless. As newlyweds, your house should be a reflection of your unique style as a couple. As exciting as it may be, decorating your home together will come with its own challenges. However, whatever your couple’s style, it should be neat, organized and exciting. If you can’t afford to redecorate your entire house, you can still make small changes to your home that will make a delightful big difference.

Apr - Jun 2013

THE DIVA

parents corner

Children and freedom of expression As a child, it wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t always easy hanging around white kids whose hair fell effortlessly across their backs. I, on the other hand, gave my mum great trouble every morning, when she would have to unleash a hot comb just to get my hard African hair soft enough to hold back neatly. By Patricia Kamikazi

THE DIVA

Apr - Jun 2013

So, after hours of admiring little girls running around with their hair flying in the air, and mine stubbornly refusing to move an inch, I would go back home and don a sweater on my head, pretending that it was my hair – looking like a true experiment after playing around with my mum’s makeup too. Naturally, I couldn’t brush it…but I had so much fun pretending I had long thick hair…even when I knew I’d be back to my hard hair the very next morning.

children need to express themselves, most times through physical appearance, like the clothes they wear. Do parents give their children the liberty to choose their own clothing? Of course, there’s the argument that encouraging an interest in clothes makes children grow up too fast, and most parents don’t want their children to look like little adults before they reach the age of 10.

Do parents give their children the liberty to choose their own clothing? My mother never quite understood it, but she also never objected – at least not to the sweater. As a matter of fact, she let me wear it even out of the house, on our walks to the supermarket, not bothered by the confused glares coming from people on the street. I have a sneaky suspicion my hair obsessed genes didn’t fall asleep because today, since she was 5, my own 8 year old seems to be very much interested in hair. Seeing that I understand it all too well, I let the girl express herself with cardigans and towels on her head. I suppose not many parents would let their children walk out of the house looking that ridiculous – and they have their reasons. However,

But playing dress up is a longestablished form of childhood play and given that we encourage children to express themselves in a range of other ways, be it art classes, music lessons or sports clubs, it seems harsh to get touchy if they choose to emphasize their individuality through the clothes they wear.

topped off with a tiara and plastic jewelry then that’s fine with me. Most 3 to 4 year old are wannabe dictators, grasping for control wherever they can. So whenever possible, let them have it. Once, as I took a stroll around my home area, Kacyiru, I noticed a child, not more than 5, wearing what I can only assume were hot pants and a tank top. She must have been going for a swim because her older sister was holding a gym bag. As she walked, I noticed many people staring at her. One woman couldn’t resist it, and called her over – I assume to ask her why she was dressed that way because she kept tugging at the girl’s little shorts and top. Perhaps the girl was a little too exposed – but then again she was about 5! When grown women dress like that and walk the streets, now there is something to wonder about. If her mum thinks it’s okay for her to walk out the house like that, then who are

very unserious,’ retorted one friend. ‘Who will the mother blame when men start ogling at her child?’ asked another. Let me get this straight, so perverts have the right to be that way because of dressing? She is a child for Pete’s sake. I don’t care if she is walking around naked… it’s not even acceptable when it comes to grown women. Sure, I would like some women to dress more appropriately but if they choose not to, that does not mean they are looking to be raped. Whether it’s your three yearold daughter who insists on wearing that same pink skirt every day or it’s your four year-old son who insists that a Spiderman costume is the perfect thing to wear to preschool picture day, let young children express themselves through their choices of clothing. The need for self-expression is not a phase. It’s a part of growing up, a part of a child’s

The need for self-expression is not a phase. It’s a part of growing up, a part of a child’s search for their own identity.

Undeniably, letting your kids choose their clothes isn’t always plain sailing. Yes, there have been times when I’ve struggled to talk my daughter out of wearing a ‘princess dress’ to the supermarket, but as far as I’m concerned that is part of being a child. I want her to be happy, and if that means letting her wear crazy outfits,

we to say it’s wrong? Because I like to know what other people think about a situation, I told a couple of my friends about the little girl and all I got were numerous jeers and sneers. ‘Her mother is

search for their own identity. It may not always be fun, and it may end in arguments, but it’s a part of growing up, and as parents, it’s just another part of the job.

Apr - Jun 2013

THE DIVA

parents corner

HOW

RAISE

RESPONSIBLE CHILDREN By Emmanuel Mukiza

THE DIVA

Apr - Jun 2013

This is the last thing parents think about, as they look at their precious newborn. But it is a simple truth: eventually, that tiny infant will grow to become a young adult who will live on his own. This is as it was meant to be; a man will leave his father and his mother of course, and the same could be said of a young girl. Nevertheless, on that bittersweet day when a grown son or daughter leaves home, many parents are anxious. ‘Did I raise my child properly?’ they wonder. ‘Will they be able to keep a job, maintain a house, and live within a budget?’ Even more important, ‘Will my child live by the values we have tried to instill in them?’

PARENTING CHILDREN BETWEEN INFANCY AND ADOLESCENCE Up until your children are five years old, they are in cozy family surroundings and it is easier to instill good qualities in them. But once they start school, they are exposed to different ways of doing things and different ways of speaking. As children grow, they explore the boundaries of their expanding world. They interact with more people – playmates, schoolmates and extended family. You are no longer the sole influence in

your child’s life, as you were when he was an infant. This is why it is essential that you use these years to teach your child the value of obedience and good manners. It is also important to provide direction with regard to right and wrong. The skills just described do not come quickly and intuitively. Likely, you will need to “reprove, reprimand, exhort, with all along suffering and art of teaching.”

Train your children now to be considerate of others and to accept responsibility for their own mistakes.

The responsibility of raising responsible children includes a number of challenges. Let us consider a few of them: A time to listen While there is a time to speak, there is also a time to listen.

How can you teach your child to pay attention when othersincluding you-are speaking? One way is to set an example. Do you listen attentively to others, including your children? Children can easily be distracted, and no doubt, your patience will be tested as you attempt to communicate with them. Each child is different, so be observant and determine which method of communication works best with your children.

Forgiving one another freely Continue putting up with one another and forgiving one another freely. Children can be trained to develop the ability to forgive. How? As discussed above regarding the art of listening, you need to set the example. Let your children see you display a spirit of forgiveness in your dealings with others. You should try to set a good example for your children in forgiving others, making concessions, and not getting offended. You should apologize even to your children when you are wrong so that they can do the same in their dealings with others. The ability to resolve differences and forgive will be necessary in adulthood. Train your children now to be considerate of others and to accept responsibility for their own mistakes. By doing so, you will be imparting a valuable gift that will serve them well as they grow.

Show yourselves Thankful In these critical times, it is hard to deal with many people because people are lovers of themselves. Now, while your children are young, instill in them a spirit of gratitude. Children can learn to show good manners and be thoughtful of others. How? The best thing you can do to engender a thankful attitude is to demonstrate it tirelessly at home. This means that you are regularly saying how much you appreciate the help you get from others. It takes lots of practice.

Do not hold back Discipline As your children grow, it is essential for them to learn that actions have consequences. Even at that young age, children are answerable to authority, not only in the home but also at school and in the community. You can help your children learn the principle that you reap what you sow. If you have made it clear that a certain wrong act will bring a particular consequence, do not be afraid to follow it through. Consistency is vital.

Each child is different, so be observant and determine which method of communication works best with your children.

Apr - Jun 2013

THE DIVA

food

Pan Fried

Glazed Fish By Anne Anjao

THE DIVA

Apr - Jun 2013

15 Minute Treat!

food Fish is probably the healthiest meat dish for the vegetarian. For those who have to monitor cholesterol levels while stocking up on the essential Omega 3 fish oils, it is a tastier option compared to the vile capsules and it can be a nice simple gourmet treat for the family too. I admit I love fish and yet I know many people who do not favour it. But I am convinced that after trying this recipe even the picky eaters may be converted. It is so simple, so quick and ideal for the nights when you haven’t got a lot of time to make dinner but still want to make an impressive meal for a loved one or the family.

What you will need • • •

A non- stick large frying pan preferably 12 inches diameter a heavy iron pan will do if you cannot get non-stick A large flat dinner plate for serving A flat skillet

Ingredients: • • • • • • • •

1 tablespoon unsalted butter 2 tablespoons olive oil/ sesame oil 4 fish fillets (1kg) I prefer Tilapia Coarse salt and ground black pepper to taste Ground coriander seeds if you can find them 1/3 cup all-purpose flour 4 tablespoons freshly grated Parmesan cheese Lemon wedges to serve (optional)

Salad to Garnish • • • •

1 white onion diced or in rings Finely chopped coriander Handful of fresh basil leaves Sliced green and red bell peppers

1. Preheat the non-stick pan on low heat as you prepare and season the fish fillets. 2. Season the fish with salt and pepper. 3. Rub in the ground coriander seeds. This will give it a zingy citrusy flavor. 4. Place the flour in a shallow bowl, and lightly coat the fish on both sides with flour. Shake off any excess.

5. Put the olive oil in the pan and heat over medium low heat. Do NOT let the oil burn!!! 6. Add the butter and place the fish in the pan/ skillet and increase the heat to medium. Cook until the bottom is golden brown- this may take about 3 minutes. Gently turn the fish and cook until it is again golden brown on the top and bottom, and the fish is white when you use the tip of a knife to slice into the fillets. Let the fillets cook for about 3 more minutes. 7. Sprinkle 1 tablespoon of Parmesan cheese evenly over the top of each fillet. 8. If you have a grill, place the pan under a warm grill for 1 minute until the cheese melts and turns golden brown. Serve with the lemon wedges, if desired. 9. To garnish, toss together, drizzle some lemon juice over it and serve on a large flat dinner plate. 10. To make a meal of it, you serve with some boiled fusili pasta or a bed of white rice!

A tasty gourmet meal in your kitchen. Now wasn’t that easy! Apr - Jun 2013

THE DIVA

Talk to

Aunt Umulisa Dear Aunt Umulisa, I am a 28- year old girl in love with a 34- year old man I have been dating the last five years. I have been working the last 6 years and feel it is time for me to get married. Traditionally, I know a woman should never propose to a man but at this rate, I wonder. Recently, my boyfriend and I had a stormy discussion about our relationship and after that, I felt as if I am wasting my time and that he is afraid of marriage. We live in different countries in East Africa and sometimes, it may take us as long as a year to meet and it’s not the distance or the money responsible. For example, one time, my boyfriend came home from his country of residence and never bothered to come see me or even call me, but I know he saw his family members. When I asked him about it, he said I should not control his movements and he will see me when he wants. Sometimes I can call and he refuses to pick up or even ignore my SMS or a message on social networks and then respond to them at his convenience. This can 46

THE DIVA

Apr - Jun 2013

even take weeks. He is very generous and spends lavishly on me. He is also fun to be with whenever he is in a good mood. However, when I broach the subject of marriage, he explodes. I thought I would be married by 28. Now I wonder, should I leave him? Uwimana Dear Uwimana, I do not know any other way to put it, and rarely do I prescribe solutions, instead preferring to let you make a decision but this time I must put it to you plainly: you are flogging a dead

horse. I should add the cliché, ‘Wake up and smell the coffee’. Obviously, for some reason, your man does not want to get married. It could be that he does not trust you enough to be his wife. Is there something you are doing that could be a put off? It could also be that he fears marriage, which

I think is the case judging from your letter above. There are people who have this belief that marriage is a prison where they will be held to account for every movement, every action. That’s the reason behind his telling you he decides when to see you. I suggest you pick yourself up and get moving. This guy is not ready for marriage, and won’t be for donkey years. Have you ever seen unmarried men aka senior bachelors of 50+ years? He is one of them. Obviously you both

don’t aspire for the same things. The other thing to consider is that he seems to have a controlling spirit. He wants to be in charge of everything and everyone, including your time, relationship and the like. Unless he is willing to change, I see this marriage doomed from the start

because you will never get a chance to decide on anything. And let’s face it squarely. Your guy is emotionally short changing you. What I know about young people in love and thinking of marriage is that their love is so passionate, fired up, fiery, as to lead to marriage. Someone will eat, sleep, dream his/her lover. Your life revolves around him/her. It is therefore frightening that a man can come to your city, having last seen you a year ago, and then just leave without so much as an SMS. People in love to the point of marriage will talk for hours on the phone, send tons of SMS’s and meet very often. Yours is a strange relationship I must say. Marriage is a life time commitment bound by love that only comes from God. Love that will overlook the many mistakes bound to be committed. Marriage is selflessness. Your man is a selfish individual with psychological issues he needs to deal with. Run baby run. Do you have queries? Send them to auntumulisa@gmail. com

LET’S JOIN HANDS FOR BETTER SERVICE Akirana urugwiro abakugana

Apr - Jun 2013

THE DIVA