Well - Issue 1 by The Dragontree

Well b y Th e Dragon tree

A peaceful world begins with a peaceful you

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Coming Home by Dr. Peter Borten

Last July marked 11 years that we’ve been in a relationship with The Dragontree. I’m sure that if you’ve memorized the list of traditional gifts for each anniversary you know that steel should be given at 11 years. We’re planning to get the spa either a company car or paper clips (haven’t decided which yet). But, more importantly, we felt it was a good time to remind ourselves of her values and reaffirm our alignment with them. When we started this thing, we had many conversations about what the whole purpose was. We had both done (and continue to do) a lot of hard work to unearth and heal limiting or unhealthy patterns in ourselves; to discover and repair the areas where we’re not acting with integrity; and in all ways to get the most out of this human experience. We had come to the realization that this work couldn’t just be something we did in our spare time. It was a full time job, and therefore, we needed to begin to treat our careers as an extension of the personal urge to evolve. More and more, we understood the goal to be peace. What is the problem, after all, with pain? If you are at peace with the pain, there is no problem. What is the problem, after all, with political corruption? With climate change? With hairballs? With obesity? With traffic jams? With death? In all cases, the distress we associate with these issues is a product of our own departure from peace. We don’t mean to imply that we should not work to heal the problems of the world. But it’s the internal work that will yield the greatest return. So, we decided that the spa would be an instrument for this purpose. An instrument for peace. We had each identified an individual purpose of serving our species by promoting peace, and when it clicked, we said, “Of course! We’ll align the whole business around this and it will be tremendous.” Honestly, it got a lot easier after that. First, our own efforts took on new meaning. We weren’t just staying up all night to paint walls so that we’d be able to pay our rent. We were doing it because of a commitment to our purpose. We

thought, people are going to come into this space and feel good! It’s been a wellspring of energy and inspiration. During hard times, we remind ourselves of the healing we’re committed to and that makes all the difference. Second, it was like we birthed something that has a life of its own. The spa attracted staff members who are as committed to cultivating peace as we are. Every decision is informed by the mission. Opportunities arise, resources become available sometimes it seems by magic - for us to help more people. We’ve overcome obstacles that appeared insurmountable, and I can only believe it’s been by virtue of our commitment to make a positive difference in the world. This is not to say that everyone always gets along, or that we never act like cranky babies, but we keep coming back to the mission, and that helps us work through it. The service we do wouldn’t be possible without our clients, and we and many of our staff members regularly express our gratitude for this. We know it’s easy for such a statement to feel kind of hollow. When any business says, “We couldn’t do it without our customers!” perhaps you can’t help thinking something like, “That’s just how a business works, isn’t it?” Apple couldn’t do it without their customers, and neither could McDonald’s, right? But we like to think the work we do is more reciprocal than theirs. As healthcare practitioners ourselves, we hope you’ll believe us when we say that there’s something so special about getting to hold someone’s head in your hands, asking them to try relinquishing control to you for just a few moments, and then feeling them let go. When we feel this release happen, there’s a sense that the client is coming home to their authentic self. It’s an honor to witness this. We’re not blowing smoke when we say there’s something sacred to us about this process. And of course we couldn’t do it without you. So, again, thank you, Briana & Dr. Peter Borten

Feeling Stressed? by Briana Borten

“You have to do what you have to do. You can do it stressed or you can do it not stressed. It feels better to choose the latter.”

Recently, we surveyed The Dragontree’s clients to find out what their number one struggle is, and not surprisingly, it’s stress. Stress is a major killer of our internal feel-good. And when it’s there, it can feel unshakeable. Like there is an underlying anxiousness or pressure to every moment of our lives. For the most part we respond to stress by becoming tight - ready to act and unable to chill out and go with the flow - which makes perfect sense since it’s our survival mechanisms that are engaged. Our minds don’t function as well, we make poor dietary choices to try to comfort this pressure, and our relationships suffer. Then there are those of us who use stress to drive our dreams to realization. When it pushes us to get things done, we can see that stress isn’t altogether bad, but it has a price - our ability to fully experience the present - and that’s where the magic is. So, if you can’t (or don’t) turn the stress off, and that pressure feeling is with you more often than not, I urge you (as I urge myself) to stop using the stress factor to get things done. Instead use inspiration.

My mama used to tell me: ““You have to do what you have to do. You can do it stressed or you can do it not stressed. And it feels better to choose the latter.” I’ve tried my whole life to choose “not stressed,” and most of the time it works to just choose. But, sometimes we need help to escort that choice into reality. Here are five ways to de-stress that actually work. 1. Take supplements that support a healthy mental state. I used to think that taking supplements to decrease my stress levels was kinda cheating, like I wasn’t really doing the work or something. Anyway, that’s total BS and there are tons of great supplements out there that make a profound difference and are also nutrients, so, unlike a Xanax, they’re actually good for you. Here are six things worth considering, from my husband, Dr. Peter Borten: • A B vitamin complex. When we are stressed we tap our B vitamin supply. Several of the B vitamins have mood enhancing effects. • Omega 3 fats. These are found in things like fish oil, krill oil, and oily seafood, chia seed, walnuts, free

• Magnesium. Magnesium deficiency is almost epidemic, and it’s challenging to get enough out of food alone. It’s also tapped when we’re stressed. It’s mildly calming without being sedating. Try Natural Calm or another dissolvable form. • Theanine. This amino acid is calms our nervous system while also supporting mental focus. Most people benefit from 200 milligrams twice a day. • Adaptogens. These herbs help us adapt to the all kinds of stressors. Some great ones are: Rhodiola, Ashwagandha, Tulsi, Siberian Ginseng (Eleutherococcus), and Schizandra. • Bupleurum. This is a central herb in Chinese medicine because of its efficiency at releasing stagnant chi. When we’re stressed, we’re often clenching and holding – bupleurum promotes free flow again. It’s often in the form of an excellent formula called Free and Easy Wanderer. 2. Have Fun. This is often one of the first things to go out the window when we’re stressed, or maybe we’re stressed because we’ve totally devalued having fun. Either way, it’s time to bring it back into daily life. Whether you’re a mama of three, a single lawyer, or a traveling sales rep for Snookie’s Sugar Shop, playing is essential. Repeat: playing is essential. You have to let yourself be free, enjoy, and to let loose every once in awhile. There’s no rule that you can’t jump on a big trampoline, dance around the house, or take time to finger paint just because you’re an adult. If you’re out of practice, it’s okay. Just commit to finding something fun to do

every day for a week - it’s like riding a bike, you’ll find the balance. 3. Exercise. I’ve written before about the importance of exercise, but I think it’s important to mention it again. Moving your body clears out negative thoughts and feelings. And we all know it releases feelgood chemicals called endorphins. So, turn up your music and move. 4. Make healthy food choices. The temptation to eat comfort food – and a lot of it – when we’re stressed is high. But low quality choices like sweets, white flour, processed foods, hydrogenated oils, deep fried foods, and fatty red meats all have the potential to cause internal inflammation, which is an added stress on your body. More importantly, nutritious foods actually support clearer, more rational thinking. I’m not a proponent of trying to do some crazy diet when you’re already feeling stressed. Instead I suggest adding in more good things until you’ve edged out the crap. Here are some great options: spinach, avocados, almonds, salmon, kale, green beans, squash, eggs (poached or boiled, not fried), broccoli, blueberries, sauerkraut, mushrooms, green tea, olive and coconut oils. Take breaks to eat. How you eat is just as important as what you eat. Slow down, pay attention to your food, make it an enjoyable experience. 5. YOU time. Reconnecting with yourself every day helps you refill your reserves. When we’re stressed we tap every ounce of energy that we have, so refueling daily is important. Create time to meditate, take a bath, write in your journal, be in nature, breathe clean air, put your feet on the earth, get a massage, do some yoga, read a novel or whatever fills you up. If you need permission to get started, it’s officially granted. If you release your stress, you’ll be able to show up and be your full loving self in every situation. That’s what the world needs.

RELAX

range omega 3 eggs, hemp seed, sesame seed or tahini, cauliflower, Brussels sprouts, and flax seed. Omega 3’s are an integral building block of our brain and nerves, and they appear to help cognitive function and mood.

Meditation and the Lottery By Dr. Peter Borten Let’s meditate for a single breath. Don’t do anything special to prepare. Just close your eyes and bring your focus to your breath. Instead of following your own thoughts like you usually do, just “watch” what happens as you inhale and then exhale.

Since it seems unlikely at this point that I will achieve stardom as a professional athlete, I’ve been weighing the pros and cons of other avenues to fame. So far, I’ve ruled out supervillain, porn star, politician, and jockey. One option that seems promising, however, is to have something named after me, because then my name will stick around for as long as the thing exists. I don’t want to get a disease named after me, though. Who wants to be an Alzheimer, a Hashimoto, or a Lou Gehrig? No, thank you. One of the better ways to be an eponym, I’ve decided, is to come up with some kind of useful theory. The Peter Principle (which states that people tend to get promoted beyond their level of competence) is already taken, though. Besides, I would have to share the tremendous riches and recognition that come with inventing such a theory with every other Peter in the world. However, The Borten Principle almost guarantees a direct association with me, since very few others share my last name. I’ve been kicking around a few ideas, but the rising contender seems to be this one. Let’s say you bought a Powerball ticket. As you know, the biggest increase in your odds of winning at Powerball occurs when you buy one ticket. Before buying one ticket, your odds were zero. There were no odds, really, because you weren’t even in the game. After buying one ticket, your odds skyrocketed to something like 1 in 175 million. A few more tickets would make only the most minuscule difference. But taking that first step . . . that was everything. It was the biggest hurdle and it made the biggest difference. And that’s what The Borten Lottery Prin-

ciple states: the decision to act represents both the biggest hurdle and the biggest improvement in return. If this is already an established theory, please just start calling it The Borten Principle anyway. At The Dragontree, we often encourage meditation, and I’m introducing this principle because I know people often have the hardest time getting themselves to meditate, despite knowing that it would be good for them. If you’re one of them, and the time commitment or perceived difficulty is daunting, how about just buying a single ticket? Ready? You have time right now for this. Let’s meditate for a single breath. Don’t do anything special to prepare. Just close your eyes and bring your focus to your breath. Instead of following your own thoughts like you usually do, just “watch” what happens as you inhale and then exhale. Don’t manipulate anything or try to achieve anything. Just pay attention to your breath for one inhale and exhale, and then open your eyes and keep reading. It will take about ten seconds or less. Do it now. How was it? Horrible? I know, breathing is like fingernails on a chalkboard. But maybe it wasn’t really so horrible or difficult. How would you feel about making a commitment to do that about once an hour? That’s all I ask of you, and, if you don’t already have a meditation practice, that’s all I recommend you ask of yourself for now. Even if you decide to do this only once a day, just make it something you know you can succeed at. Next time, we’ll go a little further. Meanwhile, congratulations on buying that ticket. I have a good feeling about it.

Can a bar of soap promote peace?

The overarching purpose of The Dragontree is to promote peace. We believe that a peaceful world starts with peaceful individuals. As healthcare practitioners and connoisseurs of quality products for self-care, developing our own line was a dream long in the making. We wanted to craft items that are natural, appealing to the senses, and therapeutic. All of these qualities can help foster a peaceful state. But the peace comes mostly in what you do with these products â&#x20AC;Ś quieting your mind, listening to your body, and caring for yourself. Explore the full line of Dragontree Apothecary products at thedragontree.com/shop

Keys to a Long Life By Dr. Peter Borten When it comes down to it, a great portion of our efforts are in some way motivated by a desire to keep living - to survive. To this end, life is frequently spent thinking always of the future and missing out on the richness of the present moment. None of our worrying makes life last any longer; it just serves as an unpleasant distraction. In effect, we can spoil our experience of life through our efforts to hold onto it.

To remedy this conundrum, it is worthwhile to witness our day-to-day perception of our life. Do we spend more time celebrating life or being burdened by it? It is not so much our circumstances as our perspective that dictates the quality of our life. A simple change of perspective can have an enormous impact, even if the external situation doesn’t change. If we’re not fortunate enough to have a naturally happy-go-lucky disposition, our success at maintaining a positive outlook may be largely determined by plain old discipline. This is the discipline to catch ourselves indulging in drama and nega-

tivity, and departing from the present in order to worry about the future. It is the discipline to bring ourselves back to the present, back to gratitude and the truth, back to the sweet breath we’re taking right at this moment. It is the discipline to remember over and over and over what is really worth living for. Until we investigate and challenge the factors that infringe on the quality of our life, what’s the use of trying to prolong it? Now for some practical measures. Following is a list of the practices I consider most valuable for extending life. I recommend partaking in them liberally and enthusiastically. But please remem-

LONGEVITY

ber, it’s possible for these practices to become devices that perpetuate our relentless drive to go, go, go! Rather than viewing them as the means to escape from death, see if you can think of them as ways to relish life. Exercise: Everyone knows of the value of exercise. The human body is very responsive to physical activity or a lack thereof. Simply put, it’s “use it or lose it.” I believe exercise that mobilizes every part of the body in every possible way is the best way to keep it in good shape. Yoga and dance are ideal for this. My first yoga teacher, Gurunam Kaur, used to say, “You are as young as you are flexible.” Exercise that focuses on building core strength and controlling energy flow, such as Qigong and Taijiquan (Tai Chi) is also a valuable tool for promoting long life. Dancing: In addition to other forms of exercise, I feel there is a unique benefit to dancing. Dance is one of the most basic and primal forms of release. I’m talking about dancing like no one’s watching - putting on your favorite music and really letting loose with spontaneous movement. There is a particular exaltation we can achieve through dance, and I believe this is potent medicine. And dancing with others is an invitation to let the love in your heart spill over - why keep it just for yourself? Breathing: The quality of our breathing can have a profound effect on all aspects of our health. Deep, full breaths exercise the internal body, they send oxygen-rich blood to all our parts, they calm the mind, and they facilitate the release of emotion. What you’re breathing matters too: clean, fresh, unpolluted air is what every cell wants. Beyond good old deep, unrestricted breathing, there are a few specific breath-centered arts that are even more potent at building vitality and releasing blockages. These include pranayama (a facet of yoga), Conscious Breathing (AKA “rebirthing”), and Holotropic Breathwork, to name a few. In Chinese medicine, there is a saying: “Qi [life energy] follows the breath.” That is, breathing promotes the circulation of energy. It allows us to open restricted or deprived parts of ourselves, and to share the intangible essence we draw into our lungs with every deserving cell in our body. Posture: The main detriments of poor posture are that it restricts our breathing, squashes our organs, and makes us feel burdened. Then there are the shoulder, back, neck, jaw, arm, hand and other structural problems it can lead to. The biggest cause of poor posture is sitting in a chair at a table or desk. Most of us start taking all our meals this way around age two. We spend six or more hours a day doing this through all our years in school. Then, if we have a desk job, we do it eight or more hours a day until retirement. If you spend much time in this position, it’s worth optimizing your seating, desk positioning, and ergonomics. Hang up reminder notes in your workspace. The body simply functions better when it’s held in an open and aligned fashion. Beyond all the physical benefits of good posture, most people just plain feel better when they pick themselves up.

Sleep: Americans epidemically overwork and under sleep. A sufficient amount of good quality sleep can prolong life. Insufficient sleep is associated with an increased incidence of obesity, which is a major risk factor for several conditions that shorten lives. Insufficient sleep also increases our chances of having accidents. If we’re not well rested, we’re running on lower than optimal resources; thus, we have a reduced capacity to deal with stress, decreased immunity, and a decreased “buffer” between us and the world - all of which impact our health. Furthermore, when we’re worn out from lack of sleep, we have to tap into valuable energy reserves to keep going. If you eat a poor diet, you might be able to make up for it by supplementing with high quality nutrients; if you don’t get enough sleep, there is nothing else you can do to rejuvenate yourself in the way sleep would. Prioritize sleeping. Eating Habits: I could write pages about nutrition, but for the sake of space and simplicity, I’ve chosen to write on four things you can change about your eating that will have the greatest impact. • One: Undereat. Experiments have shown that mice that are never fed to the point of “fullness” can live several times longer than mice that are allowed to eat their fill. The same is likely true for humans. Okinawans, some of the longest lived people in the world, have a cultural tradition of only eating to when they feel 80% full. You don’t need to starve yourself; even if you merely avoid overeating, you’ll be doing something great for yourself. Overeating is taxing to our bodies and is a clear

sign that we are in some way “disconnected” in the act of eating. Think of your stomach as being like a washing machine. If you stuff a washer to capacity, the clothes don’t circulate very well and they don’t come out very clean. Likewise, if you pack your stomach, chances are you will not digest and absorb your food optimally, and you will undoubtedly exceed your caloric needs. Try to stop eating as soon as you are satisfied, with a feeling that you still have some room left. • Two: Stay Conscious. Eat in a slow, deliberate, seated, relaxed, and enjoyable way, without doing anything else at the same time (e.g., reading, walking, driving, watching television). Put your fork / spoon / chopsticks down after each bite. This supports good absorption of the nutrients in the food, and connects you to the sanctity and pleasure of feeding yourself. I’m not advising you to be overly mechanical about eating, but to simply allow yourself to really savor your food. Don’t let yourself eat on “autopilot.” Unless you have to eat yucky food, there’s no good reason not to savor it. And, no matter what, never eat with a feeling of guilt or shame about it. • Three: Reduce your consumption of sugar (and artificial sweeteners, too). This includes all sugars - evaporated cane juice, agave nectar, fructose, high fructose corn syrup, maple syrup, honey, rice syrup, molasses, fruit juice, etc. Ideally, we should minimize consumption of other simple carbohydrates, especially flour (bagels, muffins, bread, etc), since it’s essentially processed as sugar by the body. It’s true that some sugars are worse than others, but the point is, humans are just not built to handle large amounts of sugar. Our rates of sugar consumption have skyrocketed over the past century and our bodies have not been able to keep up. Sugar suppresses the immune system, promotes inflammation, taxes our endocrine system, and causes obesity and diabetes. • Four: Choose foods with vitality in them. In the words of Dr. Paul Greenbaum, one of my favorite nutrition teachers, the main guiding criteria for choosing good food are that it should be whole, pure, and natural. Every step of processing our food goes through reduces its vitality and nutritional value.

Laughter: If you can’t laugh at life, why mess around with longevity? We’re all familiar with the saying that laughter is good medicine, and we all like to do it, so let’s invite more of it into our lives. Watch comedies, listen to funny recordings on your way to work, tell jokes, tickle, make funny faces, or join a laughing group (people who get together to induce themselves and each other to laugh). Full belly laughs are best - they get the whole body involved. Meanwhile, reduce the degree to which you cultivate bad feelings (fear, grief, sadness, pain, horror) and cut down on violent and sad movies, and media that sensationalizes tragedy. Singing: When you sit hunched over at a desk, the chest tends to be closed and the abdomen squashed. When you sing or chant, you work your abdomen and open your chest, which helps undo the squashing and collapsing. Singing helps us release emotions, makes us more confident communicators, uplifts us, allows us to connect with others, and, of course, is just an enjoyable activity. On a slightly esoteric level, I believe the frequencies and timbres we produce when we sing have a resonant effect throughout our bodies that can enliven and harmonize our cells. Community/Companionship: Most of the longest lived folks in the world have people who check in on them, who expect to see them, who share warm conversation with them, who eat with them, and who help them do many of the things I recommend in this article. Moreover, when we put ourselves in service to our community, we see our value, we see that we matter, and we take our attention off our own problems for a while. Plus, when we keep fine specimens of the human race nearby, they make us want to stick around longer. Human Touch: Human touch affects us like no other therapeutic “intervention.” Compassionate touch conveys warmth, caring, connection, and reassurance. Most of us begin life getting an abundance of healthy touch from family members. But frequently, this drops off as we get older. Eventually we may start to think that real men don’t touch, or that wanting touch might make us seem desperate or perverted, or that touching wouldn’t be professional or appropriate, etc. So, in addition to welcoming more touch into our lives, many of us also need to work with our psychological programming to develop a healthy attitude about touching.

Massage: One of the chief benefits of massage is that it’s a safe forum for receiving compassionate touch. Then there’s its undeniable ability to alleviate stress, a known contributor to virtually all disease. Also, massage is simply one of the most basic and valuable tools for addressing so many physical health problems. I have seen countless headaches, backaches, and joint pains disappear from massage. I’ve even seen certain forms of massage resurrect flaccid limbs in multiple sclerosis and post-stroke. The fact that massage often feels good may be a curse. It has led to the stigmatization of massage as a “luxury expense.” The truth is, it’s just good health care. Acupuncture: Acupuncture is a complete medical system. It treats everything from pain to allergies to depression to menstrual disorders. But its real strength is that its scope goes beyond fixing problems. Acupuncture has a long history of use as a tool for health maintenance and enhancement. It can be used to release emotional blockages, promote immune function, reduce stress, improve circulation, build energy, and lift the mood. Acupuncturists can often detect and correct imbalances before they show up as disease. Much of the development of acupuncture has been attributed to Daoist sages who specifically utilized its principles for life extension. Acupuncturists, like all medical professionals, vary widely in their approach and skill level, so find someone that you like and respect. Spending Time with Nature: Though I have mentioned companionship and human touch as im-

Letting Go: I believe a major reason for most humans dying younger than they have to is because of all the unresolved mental and emotional garbage we carry around. Not only does it directly contribute to imbalance in our bodies, it also leads us to be negligent of our health. Everything about our past that we wish had gone differently, everything about our imagined future that we’re anxious about, and everything about the present that we can’t accept - these all amount to resistance of life. And no amount of resistance changes any of it; it only degrades our experience. There are many techniques for letting go of persistent psycho-emotional patterns (including psychotherapy, Emotional Freedom Technique [EFT], the Sedona Method, meditation, conscious breathing, Hakomi, and more). Whatever the approach, the crux of releasing this stuff is having a willingness to feel it and a willingness to let it go. The more we let go, the more we find we are at peace. Choosing Life: Both the most obvious and the most elusive “secret” to living longer is to love life. All of it. The war, the crime, the disease, the music, the art, the poetry, the food. It is the ultimate act of aligning ourselves with reality to fully accept that at this moment, this is what life is. If we can be grateful for it, not denying any of it, life begins to open like a flower. To welcome every bit of it with an open heart - this is living in the truest sense. What good is a long life if we’re not healthy enough psychologically and physically to enjoy it? Any steps we take to improve quality of life are worthwhile regardless of how much life we have left.

If you can’t laugh at life, why mess around with longevity? portant factors in longevity, let’s remember that life isn’t all about people and people’s stuff. We are at a unique place in human history when a life can be spent almost entirely in buildings and cars, and we have to be reminded of the benefits of being in nature. Put your bare feet on the earth, tend to a garden, get in the water, sit by a fire, feel the breeze on your skin, breathe fresh air. Immerse yourself in the awe that the majesty of nature commands.

The lifestyle recommendations I have presented in here are by no means the only way to live a long life. However, they are some of the most universally beneficial things humans can do - both for quality and duration of life. Furthermore, when we embrace these practices and our experience of life becomes richer, we actually tend to become less concerned about longevity. May your life be full of life!

One of my favorite things about being a mama is getting to revisit childhood feelings and experiences. During my daughter Sabina’s summer vacation, I was reminiscing about how I felt as school wrapped up and long days of play ensued. As a kid I couldn’t wait for summer. School was fine, I guess, but summer was what I lived for. I remember on the last day of school the minutes between 2:55 and 3:00 felt like an eternity as I anticipated my release into months of freedom.

Rules to Winning the Game By Briana Borten

Summer meant months of playing. And thanks to having parents who understood the huge value of unstructured play, I was mostly outside, with friends, learning how to be me. I developed curiosity, imagination, and creativity by being left to entertain myself without any goals other than enjoyment and exploration. And though I experienced this time as just unrestrained fun, it was crucial for learning problem solving and social skills. In fact, studies show that a lack of play for children (and adults) is “serious stuff” and can impede social development, make us feel more stressed, and can lead to a lack of persistence and poor work ethic. It’s never too late to start to play. Given that play is proven to be so crucial to our happiness and our success in relationships and career, I suggest we all embrace our full potential to allow our imaginations and creativity to run free. What if the rule to win this game of life is just to play? RULES TO WIN This likely won’t mean quitting your job and frolicking in the river every day (though maybe it will), but instead seeing how much space you can create for pure enjoyment or for delighting in what’s already on your calendar. Here are some of my top ways to play: 1) Make no plans for the weekend (this is where the unstructured part comes in) with the pure intention to have fun. Let everything be spontaneous. Join friends for a bike ride, build a gigantic fairy fort in the backyard with your kids, take a trip to a nearby town and explore, climb a tree. As adults we tend to want to plan our fun so we know exactly what we’re doing. Dinner plans, well organized vacations, and scheduled softball games are all great - but spontaneity lends a spice to our life that gives it a flavor of freedom. 2) Weekday afternoon play in the park. Bring a blanket, a snack, a Frisbee, a bottle of wine and a friend to your neighborhood park and let go. Yes, this may mean leaving work early or skipping your regular workout - it’s okay, I promise.

3) Dive into an art project with no end result in mind. Ninety percent of the time when I ask people what they would do if they worked less and had more free time, they reply, “Play my guitar more,” or, “Paint,” or, “Plant a garden,” or something else related to creating. I believe that most of us have a soul level need to express ourselves through art, and ignoring it hinders our joy. Take the time to nourish your creativity and lose yourself in your art for an evening (or two or three). 4) Get out into nature and play full out. Get to the beach, a creek, into the mountains, out in a field - wherever is accessible to you - and stretch yourself to see how you can entertain yourself. How curious can you be about what’s around you? How far can you throw a pebble? Can you balance on that log? Tap into your inner child and you’ll find that there is endless fun to be had. Don’t worry about looking or being silly. Silliness is fully encouraged. Will you play with me? I’m ready to invite PLAY into every day of my life. How about you? See you on the playground!

Neti & Nasya – The Dynamic Duo By Dr. Peter Borten

There are several simple daily practices recommended in Ayurvedic medicine for maintaining health. One of the most valuable of these routines, especially during cold and flu season, is the combination of neti and nasya. Now that neti pots are available in almost any drug or health food store, you’ve probably used one or heard of them. But, less familiar to Westerners is neti’s essential partner – nasya. Ideally, these two practices should always be done together.

Neti is the process of cleansing the nasal passages with salt water, using a “neti pot.” In medical terminology, it’s referred to as saline nasal irrigation (SNI). A neti pot is shaped like a small tea pot or Aladdin-style oil lamp, the spout of which fits comfortably in a nostril. They are available in ceramic, metal, and plastic. If you can’t easily find one in a store, there are plenty of online vendors. Start with warm, clean water (body temperature is good). A standard recipe is 1/4 teaspoon of salt per 1/2 cup of water. Try this concentration first, and adjust the saltiness by adding more water or salt if necessary. Usually you will need to add salt if there is a burning sensation. Regular table salt without iodine tends to be most comfortable. The ideal degree of saltiness varies somewhat from person to person. Some studies advocate 0.9% salt, though a better guide is how it feels and tastes. It should be about the same saltiness as tears. When the solution is correct for you there will be no burning sensation. Fill the pot with your saline solution, stand over a sink, and place the tip of the spout in one nostril. Tip your head sideways without leaning your head forward or back. As the pot is tipped, the solution should enter one nostril and flow out the other. It helps to keep your mouth open and don’t try to breathe through your nose. Pour half of the solution through one nostril and then the other half of the solution through the other nostril. This process cleanses the nasal passages of small particles, bacteria, and other organisms which can cause allergies, colds, and sinus infections. SNI is becoming the standard of care, even in mainstream medicine, for allergic rhinitis (nose and face focused allergies) and chronic sinus infections. Typically, the nose is cleared of any mucus first thing in the morning and then neti is performed as basic nasal-sinus maintenance. If you’re suffering from allergies or a sinus infection, it can be repeated two or three times per day. Nasya, the lubrication of the nasal passages with oil, is the second step in this process, and it should not be overlooked. We frequently hear from patients who have tried neti without nasya that they felt more congested or dry afterwards. This is usually because the salt water dried out the nasal passages, which stimulated the body to secrete more mucus to protect these membranes.

When nasya is done after neti, the nasal passages are soothed and moistened with a constitutionally-appropriate oil and there is no dryness or reactive mucus production. There are two main ways of applying oil to the nasal passages. One is to place oil on your clean pinky and use this to lightly coat the inside of each nostril with oil. The other option (which we prefer) is to use an eyedropper to instill 4-5 drops of oil into each nostril while lying down. With this second method, it is best to relax in this position for a few minutes to let the oil penetrate deeply. The second method is more nourishing to your nasal membranes and should be done at least once a week. If you know your dosha (prakriti), you can observe the following: For vata types, (untoasted) sesame oil is best. Pitta types should use sunflower oil. Grapeseed oil is best for kapha types. If you do not know your constitution type or would just like to use a general “tridoshic” oil, you can use safflower oil or liquid ghee (clarified butter). There are also many medicated nasya oils for specific ailments and constitutional needs. These tend to be stronger and may be formulated for a particular therapeutic effect. At The Dragontree, we sell our own nasya oil (made by Dr. Borten) - a blend specifically for allergies, sinus infections, and colds. (You may find it somewhat strong for daily maintenance use. If so, it can be diluted 50/50 with regular oil, or just use a plain, unmedicated oil.) The importance of following neti with nasya cannot be overemphasized. Nasya provides lubrication and protection against new pathogens in the nasal passageways after being cleansed by neti. If the nasya step is skipped then the process of neti could potentially open up the membranes to further susceptibility. The nasal passages work best at trapping airborne irritants and germs when they’re moist. Dryness, such as the dry air in an airplane cabin, makes them less effective. If you practice yoga, neti and nasya are valuable routines for ensuring optimal absorption of prana, and they’re quite helpful if you practice pranayama - especially if you do so for long sessions. In Ayurveda, the nose is considered the gateway to the brain and the administration of neti and nasya is also said to enliven consciousness and intelligence. In Chinese medicine, the nose is the gateway to the lungs, and it helps “condition” the air as we take it in. In short, it’s an organ worth caring for.

Listen to the Song That’s Stuck in Your Head By Dr. Peter Borten If we want our life to go a certain way – happy, healthy, long, etc. – we need to pay attention not only to what good things we’re doing to ensure this, but also to what destructive things we’re doing to sabotage it.

In high school and college, I spent hours every day playing guitar and writing songs. Music was the main outlet I had for the angst and depression I felt in my late teens and early twenties. In grad school, I began to emerge from those dark days, and as I increasingly found myself in the company of people who were really psychologically healthy, I noticed my music changing.

their place. What’s arguably more valuable than the actual practice of repeating an affirmation is what they demonstrate: the thoughts we choose can have a huge impact on our life. Apart from whatever objective ways they might affect our lives, the subjective impact of our thoughts is that they color our experience in a way that makes the objective circumstances almost irrelevant.

One day I was jamming with a good friend. He would play me one of his tunes and I’d improvise on that for a while, and then I’d show him one of mine and we’d play that for a bit. At some point, I started playing one of the old songs from my troubled period. The best I can remember is that the words had something to do with losing hope. He liked the tune, so I showed him the chords and taught him the words so we could sing it together. Only, as I started playing and singing it, he didn’t join in. He stopped me after a moment and said, “Sorry, man . . . I’m not singing that.”

For instance, if you think life sucks, it doesn’t matter whether you have delicious food, warm clothes, people who love you, a winning lottery ticket, and blue skies - life still sucks. And if you think life is an utter gift, you could be in rags and have no limbs, and yet you’d see beauty and grace in everything.

I really didn’t understand it. “Why not?” I asked. “Because it’s all about losing hope and how life sucks. I don’t want to say that.” “Oh,” I was a bit bewildered. “Okay, let’s try something else.” And we moved on. I was a little bit offended. I didn’t always relate to the subject matter of his songs, but I didn’t mind singing them. It wasn’t like you had to believe what you were saying - it was just a song. And what about all the popular songs that we sing along to because they’re catchy? Lots of them are about topics we might not care for, but they’re still good songs. Well, I let it go and didn’t think about it again for a long time. But years later, I had become more acutely tuned in to my thoughts and words, and I had experienced in a more definite way the way my words affected my experience. One day, I remembered that event and thought, “Wow. Good for him.” You Are What You “Eat” Have you ever used an affirmation? The idea is that by repeating key words, we can reprogram our mind, shift our emotions, heal our body, and even change the circumstances of our life. When done right, they really can work. I wouldn’t place all my eggs in the affirmations basket when I want something in my life to be different, but they have

It’s difficult for most people to remember to repeat an affirmation all day long, or to choose to focus on a positive idea as often as possible. But it’s quite easy for us to sing a song all day long … say, Pink Floyd’s “Comfortably Numb” or The Beatles’ “Eleanor Rigby.” It’s quite easy for us to listen to ranting on talk radio. It’s quite easy for us to read a daily newspaper that is filled with more negativity than positivity, and barely register that we are making choices that degrade our experience. If we want our life to go a certain way - happy, healthy, long, etc. - we need to pay attention not only to what good things we’re doing to ensure this, but also to what destructive things we’re doing to sabotage it. We all know “you are what you eat” - that what you feed your body affects the quality of your health. In the same way, the thoughts we cultivate, the way we speak, the media we consume, the people and social institutions we associate with are all part of what we’re feeding our consciousness. So, it should be no surprise that they affect the quality of our experience. When my friend refused to sing the depressing song I had written, it’s because he was tuned into and respectful of - the effect our words (especially repeated ones) have on our consciousness. We can easily learn to perceive the qualitative differences between certain words, thoughts, songs, movies, and organizations. When we bring our awareness to their influence on us, it becomes clear that the majority of news articles, movies, radio shows, and television programs are relatively degrading to our consciousness (and, therefore, to our entire being). According to a study by the UCLA Center for Communications Policy, sixty-one percent of

television programs contain some violence! A common rationale we use for reading, listening to and repeating tragic stories is the necessity of staying informed. In actuality, there is very little utility in keeping up with misfortune and deadly events. This habit speaks more of our collective addiction to conflict and drama.

If we want our life to go a certain way - happy, healthy, long, etc. - we need to pay attention not only to what good things we’re doing to ensure this, but also to what destructive things we’re doing to sabotage it. If our consumption of negative media and ideas is not purposeful, it is destructive. It is like eating a rich dessert (but considerably less satisfying): if we choose to consume it, we should stay conscious the whole time and we should stop the moment we have had enough. If we are five sentences into descriptions of dismembered bodies and we have pretty much gotten the picture, it’s time to put the article down. Usually the headlines are more than enough. When we consume violent media, its impact on us is determined partly by our perspective and our psychological health. Sometimes we resonate strongly and persistently with the pain we witness, and other times we are able to remain detached and let it pass through us without being excessively influenced by it. Until we develop our sensitivity, however, we usually can’t perceive how it hurts us. If we are interested in whole health, we need whole honesty with ourselves about our reasons for consuming unhealthy media and surrounding ourselves with people and organizations that propagate negativity. As with diet, I’m not suggesting that we must always make the best possible choice; I’m only advising that we be as conscious and truthful with ourselves as we can be. More important that banishing any destructive influences from our lives is staying aware and honest about the nature of our relationship with these influences. We’re usually better off experiencing the effect of a given influence fully and consciously, rather than being affected by it unconsciously. I recommend, in the presence of questionable media and conversation, you feel what happens in your body - as willingly and completely as possible. If you find yourself getting tense or tight, or feeling not at ease, listen to your body. Then let these feelings go, and consider altering your consumption. Luckily, there is a world of beautiful, uplifting, positive, healthful stuff out there. If you feel a need to read timely media, check out Yes Magazine, Dailygood.org, Goodnewsnetwork.org, or other sites and publications dedicated to positivity. Surround yourself with positive people, listen to music that makes you feel good, check out some beautiful art, read some Rumi or other lovely poetry. And watch how it changes your life.

There will never be a better time to allow your fullest self to be expressed. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t hold back. We can handle it.

I Don’t Fail by Briana Borten A couple of weeks ago I got an email from the COO of our Apothecary business: “i don’t f*cking fail — and you don’t either.” He didn’t use an asterisk though. He’s a serious business man with a heart of gold, and I love it. It moved me. Not only was I glad he was so pumped about the success of our business, I was convinced that he was right - we don’t fail. Now, imagine if he had said “I can’t fail.” I don’t know about you, but my mind would immediately say, “Well . . . actually, you can fail.” Our minds are amazingly good at disqualifying positive statements, and they often do so without us being aware that it’s happening. In 2012 the Journal of Consumer Research published a study on how our external and internal language affects our goal-directed behavior. They had 30 women sign up for a health and wellness seminar. In the seminar these women set long-term health and wellness goals. Then they were split into three groups. The first group of ten women was told that when they felt enticed to slip on their goals, to just tell themselves, “No.” This control group was not given a specific strategy to continue with their goals. Just say no and see what happens. The second group of ten women was told that anytime they felt like slacking on their goals they should say to themselves, “I can’t.” For instance, “I can’t eat junk food,” or, “I can’t miss my yoga class.” The third group was told that when they toyed with falling off the wagon, they were to say to themselves, “I don’t.” Such as, “I don’t eat junk food,” or, “I don’t skip my yoga class.” For the next ten days, every woman received emails reminding her to use her assigned strategy and requesting her to report instances where the strategy worked or didn’t work. Here are their results: The “just say no” group had three out of ten members who stuck with their goals for all ten days. The “I can’t” group had only one out of ten who continued with her goals for all ten days. The “I don’t” group had eight out of ten members who accomplished their goals for all ten days. Using words that express freedom of choice (like “I don’t”) fuels empowerment and a feeling of control over your life. On the other hand, words like “I can’t” feel like oppression - like you’re being forced to do it. And for a lot of us, when we feel like we’re being restricted or told what to do, we have this inner rebellion - “You can’t tell me what to do!!” – which can lead to self-sabotage if it’s a revolt against our own goals. Change this one little word and you’ll see that you can stick to it. You can make your goals happen. You can avoid that deep fried Twinkie. Because you chose it and you’re in charge. I don’t f*cking fail - and neither do you. For the next ten days let’s be in the “I don’t” group. I don’t skip my workout. I don’t eat an entire pint of ice cream in one sitting. I don’t indulge in negative thinking. You could give in the temptation to generate conflict, or to treat your body or soul poorly, but you’re committed to your highest good, so you don’t.

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Exercise to Become a Better Hurdler By Briana Borten

Lots of people ask me what I do to keep moving forward toward my goals and not let challenges knock me off track. We all come to hurdles in life. Don’t hate the hurdle, become a better hurdler. Often the obstacle is exaggerated by our minds, which makes it more difficult to navigate. I regularly do exercises to remove the barriers to my vision for my life. There are lots of ways to perceive and break down blocks. Here are a few suggestions to get you started. First, are you blocked?

per productive.” If you dislike where you’ve been hanging out - literally or figuratively - it doesn’t do you a lot of good to focus on this. It’s like saying, “I hate it in Detroit. I hate it in Detroit,” when you could be saying, “I’m excited to go to Hawaii! I’m excited to go to Hawaii!” You need to know where you want to be instead of where you’ve been. What’s your intention? 3. Become conscious of the block.

Is there a conversation that should happen or an action that you’ve avoided because it seems like it’s going to be uncomfortable?

When you think about what you want to do that isn’t happening, or when you hold your goal in mind and don’t feel altogether positive and enthusiastic, what is it that’s getting in the way? Maybe you can put it into words, or maybe it’s just a feeling. Let yourself experience the physical sensation of being blocked. Hold the issue or the goal in your mind, and simultaneously feel what comes up in your body. Usually it’s a sense of tightness, restriction, fatigue or other discomfort.

Are things just not flowing in your life the way you want them to?

4. Feel the block. Welcome the block. Let go of the block.

If you answered yes to any of these, chances are some blockage is happening. Try following these steps to breaking through the block:

Your resisting the block isn’t helping - it’s keeping you in a tight relationship with it. Instead, accept whatever you feel. Let it spread over your whole being. Breathe. Let it go.

Do you have a desire to move forward, but you’re not doing it? Are you getting engaged in arguments - either with others or just in your mind - that don’t get you any closer to your goals?

1. Choose going for your goal instead of staying engaged with the block. It may sound crazy to suggest that we could actually choose discomfort or lack of fulfillment over making our goals and being happy. But this is often the case. Entire lives have been devoted to complaining about the way things are, or waiting for the right, comfortable moment to act. Maybe we feel it’s not fair that a certain obstacle came up. Perhaps we’re avoiding something that makes us uncomfortable, and so we stay in the slightly less uncomfortable state of not facing it, nor being able to move past it. Whatever the case, it’s vital that we refocus our aim on the prize, instead of wasting time and energy on the obstacles. 2. Figure out what getting over the block would look and feel like. Put it into words, like, “I’m inspired and light,” or “Money is pouring into my life,” or “I feel ecstatic when I speak my truth,” or “I’m su-

5. Now, bring up those positive words and feelings again. When you reiterate your intention (from step 2), does it feel any different? See what comes up in your body, or if there are any mental protests. Feel it, welcome it, let it go. Then restate your intention. Does it feel any different? Again, see if there’s any argument still happening. Let that be felt and/or voiced. Let it go. Repeat. 6. Act. The process may not yet be over, especially if this block has been with you for a long time, or it’s an expression of an even deeper block. But now is the time to do something to reaffirm your commitment to your goal. Take a step that you’ve been putting off or that you feel might be uncomfortable.

ate h t ’ n o d , e f i l .” n r i e l s e d l r u h urd r h e t o t t e be a m o e c l m l “We a urdle, beco the h

7. Reiterate your intention and be present to whatever the response is. Rather than using your positive words of intention as an affirmation that you repeat unconsciously and perpetually, revisit them for just a few minutes at a time, a few times a day. When you voice these words, what happens inside you? Listen. Feel. Express. Allow. Don’t resist. Let go. Give it a try. You can fly over hurdles … or maybe more accurately, you can dissolve them in seconds.

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Real commitment, I discovered, has more to do with the spirit of our presence than anything else. The heart of any sincere commitment is actually a commitment to a certain quality of participation.

Committed to Happiness By Dr. Peter Borten

APPINES

Commitment means different things to different people. It’s generally regarded as a noble thing, though sometimes our commitments make us feel obligated or trapped. Other times, being committed to a job or in a committed relationship gives us a sense of security. We may feel that no matter what happens, this is a variable that won’t change. But it’s worth asking ourselves what kind of security this really provides, and if it’s reason enough to stay in a job or relationship. Also, does remaining in a relationship or job, regardless of our contribution to it, actually mean that we’re committed? I believe there’s a lot of confusion about commitment. Let’s take a look at the notion that by merely sticking around we’re following through on a commitment we’ve made. As a teenager, I remember committing myself to a job, but then deciding I didn’t like it. So I grumbled all day about what was wrong with it. I stopped doing my best. I daydreamed constantly. I complained to others who worked there and tried to get them on my side. I effectively sabotaged the very work environment I so disliked. But I had agreed to do the job and I needed the money, so I stayed and upheld my “commitment.” I sometimes did the same thing in relationships. I claimed to be committed, but backed this up with only my physical presence and little else. I’d tell myself that I was in a committed relationship because of the mere fact that we hadn’t broken up and I wasn’t cheating on her. Despite my physical presence, my mind was often elsewhere. I was really much more committed to my own mental analysis and judgments, dissecting the relationship or departing it rather than being in it. It wasn’t until I was al-most thirty that I began to change my definition of commitment. Real commitment, I discovered, has more to do with the spirit of our presence than anything else. The heart of any sincere commitment is actually a commitment to a certain quality of participation. If we’re honest about it, we know that we didn’t commit to just clock in at work, contribute in the most minimal way, clock out, and collect our paycheck. When we were hired, there was an mutual understanding that we would use all our skills and experience, we’d enhance our workplace, and we’d do our best. For any number of reasons - we’re tired, we’re bored, we’re underpaid, our partner doesn’t participate at the same level we do - we can deny our commitment and withdraw our participation. But it’s important to recognize how significantly this hurts our own happiness and sense of self-worth. When we’re functioning at this level, we often carry around a feeling of guilt and/or drudgery. Not only do we have a sense that our follow-through is half-assed, we know that we’re really breaking a commitment with ourselves. When we’re struggling with pain, loneliness, or burden, we sometimes forget that life is a gift. But when we become quiet and

peaceful, the awe of our existence reveals itself. And it’s here that we remember what this commitment with ourselves is. It’s not so much an imperative to work ourselves to the bone as it is a kind of gratitude and inspiration that makes us appreciate each moment and want to show up as fully as we can. To relish the experience of being alive and share our gifts with the world. Though it may be hard at times to see the incentive to show up fully for our boss or partner, we can always choose to do it for our community or ourselves. Anyone who is conscious during their wedding vows understands that “’Til death do us part,” is just a fraction of the commitment. Unless we’re marrying someone for green card purposes, there is a mutual meeting of needs and sharing of love that inspires us to commit to each other in the first place. What we really signed up for is a certain quality of relationship, more than just a duration of relationship. Depending on the terms of one’s commitment, a committed relationship doesn’t necessarily have to mean a lifelong relationship, but as long as we’re committed doesn’t it make sense to act like we’re committed? To do otherwise would be to contradict our own intention. Commitment is a moment-to-moment thing. As you move through your life in the coming days, consider asking yourself, “What am I committed to?” If you notice that you’re not following through on your commitments to your work, your partner, your kids, or yourself, see if you can uncover what you’ve been committing to instead. Money? Security? Success? Control? Comfort? Without invalidating these pursuits, it’s important to not let them eclipse our deeper commitments. Another area of confusion about commitment is the belief that it can trap us, restrict our freedom, or limit our happiness. This makes us restless and indecisive. And it has spawned an increasingly popular term for explaining why people don’t stay in long term relationships: “fear of commitment.” •

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The paradoxical thing is that when we believe we’re really, truly stuck with something, we’re less likely to suffer than if we believe we might be stuck with something if we continue down the road we’re headed on. The difference between these two scenarios is the illusion of choice. In the

former case, we feel we have no alternative, but luckily our minds are wired to see the bright side of things. In the latter case, we feel the deal hasn’t yet been sealed or that there’s a way to get out, and we anguish about what options or freedoms we’ll lose if we make a particular choice. Harvard psychologist Dan Gilbert studies the science of happiness, and he has examined what happens to people’s perception of their circumstances when they believe they’re stuck with something. In one study, participants were asked to look at a selection of art prints and rank them from their most to least favorite. Afterwards, they were given a copy of one of the prints that they ranked somewhere in the middle. Later, they were asked to re-rank the prints according to preference, and the participants decided they actually liked the print that they were given better than they originally thought - they gave it a higher ranking. It’s the mind’s way of making the most of what happens to us. This tendency to see the positive works best when we think we don’t have a choice. In another study, one group of participants were given an art print of their choice. They got the print they asked for and there was no option of changing their mind. Participants in a second group were given a print they chose, but they were told that if they later changed their mind, they could exchange this print for a different one. Follow up revealed that the group who were stuck with the prints they chose were happier overall than the group who were allowed to change their minds. Members of the second group went back and forth on their preference, and ultimately they felt uncertain about whether they had made the right choice. How should we interpret these studies? One of the main things this research highlights is that choice is a fascinating and tricky thing. We all want choices, but when we believe we have many choices, we can become indecisive, we can second-guess ourselves, and we can regret the choices we’ve made. Yet, nobody wants to give up the ability to change their mind. Scientists later repeated the second experiment with a little twist: rather than assigning participants to one group (with the ability to revise their choice) or the other (with no option of revising their choice), they asked participants at the outset which group they would like to be part of. You’re

probably not surprised to hear that most people wanted to be in the “free choice” group with the ability to change their mind. Little did they know they would ultimately be less satisfied with their choice. As I see it, the participants who weren’t allowed to change their mind were essentially encouraged to commit to their choice. What would be the use, after all, of fighting it? Once upon a time, this was how most cultures treated marriage. Divorce was rarely an option. Certainly there were some unhealthy relationships that should have ended but weren’t allowed to because of social restrictions. But my guess is that, by and large, people were happier in their marriages because they committed to them. Knowing that divorce is an option makes us less happy. In India, choice is further removed from the equation with arranged marriage (still quite popular), and studies show these couples are statistically happier than “choice marriages.” It’s not impossible to end a committed relationship, but when we’re committed, we give ourselves over to our choice and don’t readily entertain the idea of exiting when the relationship doesn’t feel good. So, commitment doesn’t mean relinquishing our freedom of choice; it’s more a matter of being clear about the choices we make and then having the integrity to follow through on them. The power of our word is real, and integrity matters. My point is not that ending relationships is bad, but that we almost always stand to gain more from staying in a challenging situation, upholding our commitment, and figuring it out, than we do from leaving. When we stand behind our commitments, new possibilities arise. “Figuring out” a problematic relationship may seem impossible if we have already withdrawn our commitment. But when we renew our participation with humility, a willingness to be wrong, and an expectation that peace and happiness are possible, the “figuring out” part just happens, often in ways we couldn’t have foreseen. •

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Often, when we are participating less in our relationships it is because there is an underlying belief that a relationship shouldn’t require our ongoing work to be sustained. But if we’ve stopped partic-

ipating actively in the maintenance of a relationship, we’re no longer in a committed relationship. That is, we have withdrawn our commitment. This applies not just to romantic relationships, but also to our relationship with our job, friends, and ourselves. Most relationships start out with some work. It’s work we don’t mind doing, though, because we’re excited about a new person or endeavor, and we’re clear about the payoff the relationship will yield for us. So we bathe more than usual, we learn new skills, we memorize all kinds of things about another person’s life and preferences. And we care strongly about how the other person perceives us, so we try to show up in a mature and responsible way. (Again, the “other person” here could be a lover, a boss, ourselves, a friend, a parent, a child, etc.) Over time, it’s natural to settle into a sense that the relationship has become easier. The other party knows our limitations. They know that we’re capable of looking and/or acting kind of ugly sometimes, but they apparently still like us. They know that we’re capable of occasionally producing bad smells, but they apparently still like us. Being at ease in a relationship is ideal, but it’s important not to confuse ease with a lack of work. One of the greatest gifts I received from studying the Chinese martial art tai chi (taijiquan) is the concept of simultaneous work and relaxation. Traditional instruction in tai chi relies on ideas that seem paradoxical, and the apparent paradox of work and relaxation is most important. The key is to discover that these two qualities are not really mutually exclusive. In tai chi, the entire body should be engaged. Every part of us should be working simultaneously, even the mind. Yet we must also maintain a state of inner peace. It can be difficult to accomplish, especially for Westerners, because we so frequently equate working hard with being tense and stressed. When we are devoted to our practice of some meditative art, such as tai chi, yoga, or qi gong, we may notice that over time our practice is no longer confined to just the time period we set aside for it. It expands into our everyday life and starts to affect the way we move, think, breathe, work and communicate. This is when it becomes truly transformative.

What would happen if we were to adopt this tai chi attitude of simultaneous work and relaxation in the way we relate to our job, our housework, our partner, kids, friends, parents, and ourselves? It really comes down to simply committing to whatever situation is in front of us, and remaining continuously engaged and at ease. If that sounds like a lot of work, think of it this way: the main reason it feels like work is because it has been our habit to do otherwise. To disengage. If you watch young children, you see that it’s our fundamental nature to be loving, fascinated, and engaged with the world. Then our social conditioning begins to take hold, which distances us from these basic qualities. Actually, in most cases, the “work” required isn’t so much an exertion of effort as it is a form of letting go. When we feel averse to participating in a relationship, it’s usually because we are allowing something else to get in the way. We have made something else a higher priority, and each of us must discover for ourselves what this is. The more we let go of the things that separate us from these native qualities, the more we find we are naturally inspired, fascinated, energized, and eager to uphold our commitments.

Another great reason to stay engaged with our commitments is the ethic of reciprocity, A.K.A. The Golden Rule. The Golden Rule, an ideal common to nearly every religion, says simply that we should treat others as we would like to be treated. As it pertains to relationships, it means that we have a wonderful opportunity to demonstrate just how lovingly we would like to be treated - by doing it to our partner. We get to show them all the delightful ways we would want to be cared for. And even if they don’t reciprocate, if we treat our partner this way with enthusiasm and an open heart, we will have an experience of love in the process. All the love we extend to others passes first through ourselves. We can also make a game out of our commitment to another. If we’re in a monogamous relationship, someone has chosen us as their sole romantic partner, and we have the chance to hook them up with the coolest life ever! We can give them the most amazing partner, the best possible experience they could have in a relationship, with all their needs met! How fun! Finally, most of us have aspirations of how we

When we’re struggling with pain, loneliness, or burden, we sometimes forget that life is a gift. And sometimes it’s the relationship itself that needs our attention. By attention, I don’t necessarily mean repair; sometimes we just need to notice it. Every relationship consists of three parties: the two relating members and the dynamic between them. This dynamic, the third party, is presumably the reason the relationship exists. When a relationship doesn’t feel good, we tend to analyze the other person, and sometimes ourselves, but rarely do we put our focus on the edge, the dance - the place where we two meet. Just notice it without trying to manipulate it at first. What happens there? What feeds this dynamic? Sometimes just putting our attention on this place where we meet, feeling the push and pull, is enough to stoke our fascination and teach us new things about how we relate.

would like to act toward other people - to be more loving, honest, supportive, receptive, patient, etc. We can demonstrate our commitment to these aspirations by practicing them with the ones closest to us. The absolute closest person to practice with would be ourselves, and sadly, this is often the person most deprived of our unconditional love and approval. The next closest person to practice with is anyone we share our home with. Then there are those we see regularly in our workplace. After you have had some practice with yourself and those close to you, you can extend your practice to the world at large. I hope these suggestions inspire you to renew your commitment to yourself, your relationships, and your life.

I Forgive You by Briana Borten

One day, my daughter came home from school and we had this conversation: Sabina: “I forgave Bella today.” Me: “That’s wonderful, sweetie. What for?” Sabina: “The mean ways she’s treated me.” Me: “Oh, that’s great. Do you feel like you can trust her with your feelings now?” Sabina: “Yes, she’s earned back my trust. It feels really good.”

This made my mama heart sing, and it made me think about how forgiveness is a blessing that we give to ourselves and to the world. In the above scenario, Sabina felt good to forgive while Bella got to receive forgiveness and learned to rebuild broken trust. Win. Win. When we hold grudges, big and small, we are burdened with the weight of the discord in our hearts. It isn’t just limited to feeling bad, this weight shows up in our lives in real ways that hold us back from getting everything we want. We don’t fully show up in relationships, because we withhold love or acceptance. We let this darkness inform future interactions, even those with different people. Our mental and emotional space is obscured by the fog of resentment. But, we can free ourselves of this weight. We can clean up the debris. We can have light hearts. Forgiveness does not mean that we condone the event or interaction. It’s different to say, “It’s okay,” versus, “I forgive you.” It doesn’t have to be okay. It can actually be really crappy, but we can forgive anyway. Forgiveness also doesn’t mean that we have to put our trust in that person again. As Sabina so wisely noted, trust is earned back. To forgive simply means we are willing to let go of holding onto the event as a defining moment of that relationship, that person, and/or ourselves. Often the hardest person to forgive is ourself. But I invite you to start with yourself, actually. When you can deeply and completely forgive yourself for all the ways in which you’ve acted different than your ideal, all the ways in which you haven’t met your own approval, and all the ways in you’ve mistreated yourself and others, you gain inner strength and softness that invites magic to blossom. We’ve all made mistakes. Our parents said the wrong things, embarrassed us in front of our friends, weren’t there for us when we needed them. Our friends didn’t show up, lied to us about breaking our toys, and gossiped about us behind our backs. Our partners interrupted us when we talked, kissed our best friend, and left a big turd unflushed in the toilet. We’ve eaten a whole cake while on a diet, stolen from a convenience store, and lied to our friends. Get over it. Forgive. You will gain a light heart and strong wings that will carry you forward in your life with far more ease and love than you could ever imagine.

Bowel Health: A Conversation Starter for Your Next Party By Dr. Peter Borten Bowel health is a topic that rarely comes up in everyday conversation. More often we talk about what we should or shouldn’t consume at the other end of the digestive tract. But let us remember the Zen fable of the master who pours tea into the student’s cup until it overflows: we must first empty our cups before we can fill them. In the same way, the food and supplements we consume are just one facet of digestive health. How efficient we are at getting rid of waste is just as important. Ayurvedic, Chinese, and Western naturopathic medical philosophies all regard healthy elimination as a cornerstone of good health, and they see digestive imbalance as the root of a wide range of diseases. This concept is especially central to Ayurveda (the traditional medical system of India), which views virtually all illness as originating with faulty digestion, and supreme health as emanating from good food that’s digested well. Hence, the treatment of everything from acne to depression often begins with correcting digestion. This isn’t just some wacky alternative idea – even in the medical mainstream, the emerging fields of neurogastroenterology and psychoneuroimmunology are demonstrating the many ways in which gut health affects the mind, emotions, and immune system. Traditional Chinese medical philosophy explains that the functions of our bodily organs go far beyond their biomedical roles. The large intestine is more than an organ that extracts water from the stool and moves waste out of the body. The expanded concept of the large intestine is that it represents our capacity to recognize and get rid of garbage in all areas of our lives. It encompasses our ability to see what we’re carrying around that perhaps was once good for us but no longer is. When this faculty isn’t working well, we become clogged and cluttered, and our ability to perceive and assimilate what is good for us declines. Waste products from all body systems make their way to the colon for disposal. The lungs and the

skin, in particular, are critically dependent on the colon’s “taking out the trash” in order to function optimally. Acne, dry and scaly skin, brittle hair and nails, dandruff, eczema, psoriasis, asthma, and allergies all tend to benefit from improving bowel health. Optimal bowel transit time – the time it takes from eating something until it’s eliminated in the stool – is about 18-24 hours. Digestive transit needs to be slow enough for you to extract all the nutrients from your food, yet fast enough so that the toxins in your stool are not kept in the body any longer than necessary. Slow transit time, and thus prolonged exposure to these toxins, plus the holding of a large volume of poop in the colon, is understandably unhealthy. It may contribute to polyps and tumors of the colon and irritation of its lining. Slow transit time may allow the body to draw too much water out of the stool, making it dry and potentially contributing to hemorrhoids, bleeding, and discomfort. You can test your transit time by eating several activated charcoal tablets or some beets. See how long it takes until you see black (charcoal) or red (beets) in your stool. Transit time isn’t the only indicator of bowel health, but it’s an important basic foundation. Now for some principles of good bowel health which should be part of everyone’s routine: 1. Water: Water is essential for moist stool that moves freely. If the stools are dry, dehydration is the first thing to consider. Drink half the number of pounds you weigh as ounces of non-iced water evenly over the course of each day. (For instance, if you weigh 140 pounds, you’ll drink 70 ounces of water a day.) 2. Good Fats: These lubricate the bowels to keep us regular. Sesame seeds, almonds, olive oil, avocado, flax seed meal and oil, salmon, fish oil, chia, walnuts, hemp seed, and coconut are good lubricants and healthful foods.

3. Plant Fiber: Fiber scours the digestive tract, drawing out toxins, old stool, and “bad” cholesterol (LDL), while supporting “good” cholesterol (HDL). Fiber has a huge list of health benefits, including protection against heart disease, cancer, and diabetes. Fiber also makes us feel full, helping to prevent overeating. Oats, konjac, prunes, bran, peas and beans, pumpkin seeds, apples, pears, psyllium seed husks, and most vegetables are good sources. 4. Exercise That Engages the Abdominal Muscles: The abdominal muscles support intestinal movement, so regular exercise helps keep the bowels regular. 5. Good Gut Bugs: The healthy microorganisms or “flora” that live in the bowels are essential for optimal nutrient absorption, they support immune function, protect against harmful microorganisms, fortify the intestinal wall, and synthesize some vitamins. If harmful microorganisms in the gut outnumber the beneficial ones, this leads to production of toxic byproducts which promote disease. It’s important to regularly replenish the helpful critters by eating cultured foods, such as sauerkraut, kefir, miso, and kimchi. We frequently prescribe “probiotics” to seed the gut with healthy bacteria. Not every species is optimal for every person’s body, so if you don’t have a good experience with one brand, try another. (Occasionally, when you begin a new probiotic, you’ll experience some temporary bowel changes, gas, or discomfort while your gut microbiome – the whole community of flora – adjusts.) 6. Relaxation: Tension is probably the biggest factor in bowel irregularity. The gut is extremely sensitive to our thoughts and emotions. Stress can speed up or restrict bowel motility. If you’re “holding onto something” this may show up physically as holding onto your stool. Sometimes we do this in a subtle, unconscious way. Other times we do it more consciously – like sucking in the abdomen because we don’t like how we look. 7. Routine: Having a regular eating and sleeping routine (going to bed and waking up at the same time every day and eating our meals at the same time every day) promotes regularity of our bowel movements.

8. Be Mindful of Bowel Disruptors: Some medications, foods, and dietary supplements can disrupt bowel function. Iron and calcium, for instance, can slow motility, as can meat. Large amounts of fiber tend to speed it up (though fiber can also clog us). Big doses of magnesium or vitamin C can cause loose stools. Spicy foods may cause burning as they leave the body. 9. Squat: Squatting is a healthful posture. Humans used to squat much more than we do nowadays, and always squatted to move the bowels. Sitting on a toilet is not natural and tends to “crimp” the colon (but it became widespread after the chair-style toilet was popularized by European aristocracy in the 1800s). Try squatting with the thighs against the abdomen on a regular basis – while gardening, watching TV, or writing. If you’re adventurous, squat when you poop. Stand on the toilet seat and go. 10. Take Advantage of Natural Rhythms: Chinese medicine says the ideal time for a bowel movement is between 5-7 AM, when the colon is strongest. If you sit on a toilet during this time and wait, the bowels will often move and you can train yourself in this way to go every morning. Sometimes having a glass of hot water can help (adding a little honey may help even more). While sitting, don’t push. You can learn to feel the peristaltic waves (the wringing movement of the intestines) and relax with them to allow them to move the stool along, rather than squeezing and halting this movement. 11. Let Go of as Much as You Can. In light of the Chinese view of the colon’s role in helping us to let go of anything that we’re ready to be rid of, try practicing mindfulness while having a bowel movement. If there are things you want to let go of – say, some resentment or sadness – imagine you’re directing it into your bowels and expelling it with the physical waste. I hope this discussion has made you a bit less squeamish about poop and better able to make this act as productive and healthy as possible. All’s well that ends well.

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How do you deal with change? By Briana Borten I’ve noticed a lot of tired people with the recent change of season. It can be a hard adjustment for our bodies and minds to make, especially as we’re less connected with the natural world than in the past. As humans, we tend to thrive on stability and routine while we also crave variety and spontaneity, and the perfect balance is largely dependent on our constitution. As an Ayurvedic practioner and teacher I’ve found that one of the most useful applications of doshic theory for my students is an understanding of the different ways each constitution relates to change. They’re able to apply this to their lives, and also use it with their partners, employees, children and friends.

stability. Going to bed and getting up at roughly the same time each day, eating at roughly the same time each day, whatever consistency can be implemented will help with Vata’s overall health and happiness. Their scattered minds will be more focused and they’ll be better able to put all of their creative energy toward something of substance.

There are three doshas: Vata, Pitta, and Kapha. Each represents a group of mental, emotional, and physical qualities, and everyone has a blend of all three. Most people have one or two doshas that are predominant, and some people have one dosha that is especially prominent. This article won’t even come close to giving you a complete education on the doshas, but I want to convey enough of this wisdom to give you a sense of how each one relates to change.

Pitta’s Relationship to Change

Change is inevitable. It’s up to us to create a healthy relationship to it. Vata’s Relationship to Change When Vata dominates someone’s constitution, they’re highly changeable. In fact, they will tend to desire change even when changing things may not be the best option. They don’t stay hooked into any single version of reality for long. They move, travel, change subjects, switch careers, and alter hair colors as often as my iPhone autocorrect thinks I’m trying to say “ducking.” Vatas are often compelled to change, whether they like it or not. Their energy can come in surges and then disappear, their digestion can be fast and then slow, their enthusiasm can wax and wane. While change is inevitable for Vata, the more healing thing for them is to have periods of structure and

Pittas are results driven, so if change will get them closer to their goal then they’ll get on board readily and with gusto in the new direction. However, if they don’t see the change as beneficial for their desired end result, they will resist it with fiery passion. The most useful tool for Pittas in dealing with change is to take a little time to process and plan the change before acting. Change will be easiest with a cool mind and calm emotions. It can be hard for Pittas, who tend to be fast thinkers and fast responders, to allow for a little space in a situation they think is faulty. But doing this will give them perspective - and be gentler on those who may be affected - before they move fervently with the change or react hastily in opposition to it. Kapha’s Relationship to Change Kaphas dislike change. I’d say that they hate change, but they aren’t likely to express emotion in such a strong manner as hate. So, I’ll stick with dislike. Kaphas are prone to staying in crappy situations, because they would rather have the crappy situation they know than the unknown future that change would bring. When forced to change, Kaphas are very slow to adapting. But, once they adapt, they’ll be loyal and dedicated (if perhaps a bit attached) to the new situation.

For Kaphas, regularly changing certain elements of their routine is helpful for maintaining balance. Varying things like food choices, exercises, clothing, or the route to work - trying new things - can help them remain flexible. They also do well with lots of physical movement and mental stimulation. This breaks up and moves stuck energy and makes it easier for them to adapt to change. You can use this ancient wisdom to help work through changes in your family or business. If you live or work around a Pitta, don’t take it personally when they decide without warning that a major overhaul is necessary. Help them get some perspective and cool down a bit before making any

big changes. If you have a Kapha kid or employee, giving them a lot of time to get used to a change before it’s implemented can help ease them into it and relieve some of the resistance they are likely to feel. If you have a Vata partner, knowing about their variability may help you be more tolerant when they change the subject in mid-sentence, or seem unable to make up their mind about anything. We can’t always remain balanced in the face of change, but at least we can learn to recognize when we’re out of balance, and hone the tools to bring ourselves back.

Like a Boss by Briana Borten

Do you ever have thought patterns that you know aren’t serving you, but keep coming around and around like a tilt-a-whirl, until you want to throw up? Yeah? Me too. Our minds are tricky that way - they like to have something to chew on, and they love drama. So, inevitably, we end up latching onto thoughts that create emotional sensations. It’s addictive, and it’s painful. The good news is that you’re in charge. The bad news is that you probably have a habit of forgetting this. We often put ourselves in a position of submission to our mind, like it’s the boss. But you are the effing boss. Now act like it. In order to firmly establish your position as head honcho, you need to develop a certain kind of grit or toughness. This isn’t theoretical; you can literally condition your inner will so that you are no longer controlled by your domineering mind. Here are five ways to positively influence your inner landscape. 1. Meditate. Meditation is one of the best ways to calm and simplify your mental space. Then you have the opportunity to come back to your current experience with perspective and clarity. It’s not always easy to start meditating. Hell, it’s not always easy to meditate when you’ve been doing it for years. The point isn’t to be perfect. The objective here is to practice. Practice letting thoughts flow through the mind without latching on to them. Watch your breath and try not to manipulate your experience into what you think meditation should be. 2. Experience temperatures that are outside of your comfort zone. I know this sounds out there, but bear with me. When the temperature is comfortable, our minds don’t make a peep. But when we get hot or cold, our minds start setting off alarms: I think I’m very close to death. Build a fire! Drink water! Stick your head in a freezer! As long as the temperature isn’t a safety issue, we can use the experience to play with our thoughts and become tougher. If your body is cold and your mind wants to whine and complain until you do something about it, see if you can allow these

thoughts to go. Simply feel your body and don’t let your mind run the show. We want to add meaning to our physical sensations, in all sorts of situations - especially emotional experiences that create physical sensations. So if you practice with temperature sensations, you will gain strength that will carry over to when your mind wants to get all dramatic about other situations. 3. Watch your thoughts as they arise and choose whether to engage with them. It’s kind of like being picked on by a big bully. Thoughts arise about how you’re fat, or lazy, or not good enough, and you can choose to battle them all day long, or you can imagine them as a burly 6 foot 5 dude in an alley with a baseball bat waiting to kick your ass, and simply take another path. Don’t engage. 4. Push your body. Similar to experiencing hot and cold, when you work out, find your edge and take yourself there. Be willing to get uncomfortable. (Of course, you should make sure not to injure yourself.) When you start to really feel the burn, your mind will probably start protesting. This is the time to transcend your thoughts. Your mind is just looking out for your survival, so tell it, “Thanks for looking out for me. I’ve got it from here.” When you challenge your automatic mental reactions – not by beating the mind down, but by reassuring it that its alarms aren’t needed – you foster more flexible and rational thinking. 5. Put yourself in social situations that push your boundaries. Attend gatherings where you don’t know anyone, or where the theme is something you disagree with or are unfamiliar with. Then tap into your inner strength and use it to stay calm – or better yet, to be the life of the party. The mind gets really loud when we feel uncomfortable, but the majority of what it says is total crap. You can redefine yourself this very moment, choosing from a palette of virtuous qualities that are already yours, but have been buried under your mind’s outdated and inaccurate perceptions of you. Regardless of what your mind might say, it is overwhelmingly likely that you are pretty safe, pretty healthy, pretty likeable, and totally capable of a happy and fulfilling life. Try these strength building exercises. You’ll see how you can let your mind do its thing while you get to choose whether or not to go along for the ride. Have fun. And don’t forget: You’re the boss!

The Joys of Taking Your Medicine By Dr. Peter Borten

About 12 years ago, my wife announced that she was going to open a spa and asked me if I wanted to move my practice there. I had been doing acupuncture for a few years in a more typical medical building. I was passionate about treating challenging cases and being taken seriously as a medical practitioner, so the prospect of moving into a spa was a bit difficult for me. I was concerned that this would be a place for “feel good” experiences rather than real healing. I thought of spa treatments as something of a luxury item - an indulgence. In the end, I chose to do it anyway. I started my practice in the Dragontree, and I got to know and respect many massage therapists and aestheticians. Yet, for some time I maintained the attitude that much of what the spa offered was just “treats.” It took a while before I started paying attention to what was happening with the spa’s clients. People came in all day, every day, looking dull, weary, and tense, and they left looking peaceful and light. Sometimes it even happened to people who dropped in briefly, like the mailman, the plumber, and the UPS guy. I would be lying if I said that everyone who walked into the spa had amazing, transformative experiences, but it happened with such a majority of our visitors that I had to change my thinking about spa treatments, the spa atmosphere, and the whole idea of indulgence. I saw that, like many people, I had dismissed the clinical validity of people’s experiences because of the mere fact that the treatment they received felt good. Because it feels good, I thought, it’s an indulgence. After all, we all know medicine is not supposed to be pleasant, right? My experience of medicine while growing up was that it was frightening, tasted bad, or hurt. Sometimes all three. The idea that something could be therapeutic and also thoroughly enjoyable directly conflicted with my past experience. Throughout our culture, there is a belief that there are certain things about life that nobody likes – including many of the things that are supposed to be good for us, such as exercise, eating vegetables, and getting a colonoscopy – but you just have to grit your teeth and get through it. The corollary to this unfortunate perspective is that if it feels good, it’s either bad for you or there’s something is wrong with you for enjoying it. Maybe it’s a parting gift from our Puritan forebears. If you really love your job you’re probably not working hard enough; if you really enjoy cleaning the house, you’re probably neurotic; if you’re happy all the time, you probably need a psychiatric evaluation. But feeling good is our birthright! If we believe that feeling good is truly an indulgence, it is easy to see why we might try to subconsciously limit how good we feel, or why we might temper any episodes of enjoyment with a generous dose of guilt (that should do the trick!). It is very important, though, that we do not succumb to the temptation to degrade our experiences. The most profound truths are so simple we tend to miss them, and such is the case here. Feeling good doesn’t diminish the benefit of spa treatments – in fact, the good feeling is part of the treatment! No double-blind studies are necessary: feeling good is therapeutic. When we feel good, everything about us shifts toward a state of balance. We all know this in our hearts.

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