The empath THE EMPATH MAGA ZINE
T H E M A G A Z I N E F O R H I G H LY S E N S I T I V E P E O P L E
TOXIX PEOPLE – TOXIC CONCEPT People and situations that are not good for us
WHO IS THE HIGHLY SENSITIVE EXTRAVERT? IN THE ARMY
Issue No. 02 | Summer 2017
ANGEL HEALING Using the gift of sensitivity to help and heal others
FENG SHUI Energy flow for the highly sensitive
AN EMPATH'S STORY
Can sensitive people have a career in the military?
CONNECTING HIGH SENSITIVITY WITH EATING DISORDERS
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W W W.T he-E m pat h.c o m
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NATURAL BORN SHAMANS, A SPIRITUAL TOOLKIT FOR LIFE By Imelda Almqvist Natural Born Shamans, A Spiritual Toolkit for Life covers all aspects of performing spiritual or shamanic work with children and young people.
ISBN: 978 1 78535 368 0
This book is aimed at anyone who has an interest in young people and their spiritual journey. It covers all age groups from in utero until age 18 plus. The book explains what shamanic parenting is. and describes ways of doing spirit-led work even with both unborn babies and spirit children (after miscarriage, abortion or early death). It also provides thirty tried and tested session plans for people looking for inspiration and 'where to start.' www.shaman-healer-painter.co.uk
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6-9 THE JOURNEY OF AN EMPATH Founder of The Empath Revolution Michelle J Howe asks how does an Empath advance on their own unique path?
10-13 FENG SHUI FOR SENSITIVE PEOPLE Contemporary Feng Shui Consultant Mark Ainley explores balancing homes for the Highly Sensitive.
14-17 CONNECTING HIGH SENSITIVITY WITH EATING DISORDERS THE EMPATH The magazine for Highly Sensitive People ROBIN BARRATT PUBLISHING The Annexe Building 47 Sandy Lane Norwich, Norfolk NR8 6JT UNITED KINGDOM Call + 44 (0) 7508 833 433 Email: Editor@The-Empath.com www.The-Empath.com Facebook: theempathmagazine EDITOR Robin Barratt DESIGN Louis Stefano DeMarco www.louisdemarco.co.uk DISCLAIMER While every care has been taken to ensure that the information contained in this magazine is both accurate and up-to-date, Robin Barratt and Robin Barratt Publishing accepts no liability in any part for loss or damage incurred by reliance on information contained in this magazine through omissions, errors, howsoever caused. © COPYRIGHT Copyright remains with Robin Barratt Publishing and the authors and contributors at all times. No part of this publication can be copied or reproduced in any way whatsoever.
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Writer Francesca Baker examines how the characteristics of an Empath are familiar to anyone with an eating disorder.
18-21 WHO IS THE HIGHLY SENSITIVE EXTRAVERT? Author and personality psychology student Erik Thor explores the possibilities of being both an extravert and a HSP.
22-27 TOXIC PEOPLE – TOXIC CONCEPT Shamanic painter, teacher, practitioner and author Imelda Almqvist examines if it is really possible to be a toxic human being?
28-31 EMPOWERING EMPATHS WITH ANGEL HEALING Angel Healing therapist Sabi Hilmi shares her story of how she found angel healing worked best in managing her own sensitivity.
32-35 IN THE ARMY Mentalist, psychologist, author and speaker Simon Maryan Ph.D shows how being an Empath can be ideal for certain branches and trades within the military.
36-39 ASK AN EMPATH In every issue journalist, columnist and writer Sabrina Banes will interview HSPs living in New York, in an attempt to find common difficulties, and common strengths.
40-43 COTHIEMUIR CALLING Writer Carol Ann shares her empathic experiences of a May Day visit to Cothiemuir.
44-47 an empath's story Tasija Cruz shares her journey.
48-51 EMPATHY & art Professor Sara Bennett chats about being an Empath and how her high sensitivity manifests itself in her art.
52-53 EMPATHY & POETRY Sensitivity in poetry. THE EMPATH / ISSUE 2
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INTRODUCTION A very big welcome to The Empath, probably the only magazine in the world aimed specifically at Highly Sensitive People. I must first say a very big THANK YOU to my good friend Bron in Australia, who very kindly sponsored this issue. Without sponsorship and support via subscriptions, we would struggle to keep the magazine going so... Thank You Bron! And secondly, I must say another big THANK YOU for all the positive feedback I have received for both the first issue, and in general with the whole idea of putting together a magazine for Empaths. Our global community really does need a good regular magazine, with lots of interesting and diverse articles on life and living as both an Empath and as a Highly Sensitive Person. As you can see from the CONTENTS page, this second issue is no exception with the diversity of its content, with a strong focus for this issue on personal stories, overcoming challenges, and advice on finding your own path on your own journey as an Empath. The Empath will always be free to view online and on Facebook, but if you like the magazine please also support us by subscribing too; without adverts we really do need subscriptions to keep it going, and with enough subscribers we really can build this magazine into a fascinating, educational and extremely interesting publication for all of us Empaths worldwide. Enjoy the second issue! With love Robin Editor & Publisher
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The Journey of an Empath By Michelle J Howe
How does an Empath advance on their unique path? There are so many wonderful Empaths trying to find their way in this time of awakenings; there are a few key things I wanted to share with you. Regardless of how you might feel, you are absolutely not alone, too sensitive or crazy! You are awake and chose a very unique path for yourself in this lifetime. This means the sooner you stop the pain of resistance, the sooner you can move forward to advance on your path.
lightness to your energy. Lightness is expansive and feels like an uplift of joy, happiness or excitement. The opposite is anything that brings density (constriction) with uncertainty, fear, guilt, anger or resentment. This insight is stated very simplistic for you today and, yes... there is more to it.
Along on this journey and to support you, there are many others Open up and find your family online or in nearby gatherings of like-minded individuals find a friend who is an Empath - find your support! You, along with other Empaths as a collective, are here to shift perceptions and bring healing to the world.
Those living normal lives will or won't understand what is happening to you is simply dependent on their experience and ability to be open. Please note, only those walking a similar path to you could truly understand you and your journey. My wisdom to share is to stop looking for validation from outside yourself and particularly from those who cannot truly understand your unique experience in life.
Each individual on this path is guided in many ways. One key insight to guide you is your energetic response. What does this mean? This means that, in any given situation, your best choice brings
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Additionally, this whole journey is not about asking or expecting the world to change for you! Instead, the journey about you - as an Empath – to
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understands on a higher level many things others do not see at play in the world. Contrary to what many believe, being an Empath is not about you being a martyr to heal others or being a wounded healer. We are done with those ideas, archetypes, patterns and practices. Being an Empath today is about you changing, shifting and transforming yourself and your life! This is done with intention, focus, compassion and higher knowledge.
The five key relevant pillars to advancing on your journey include:
There are five key pillars related to advancing your journeys as an Empath to the highest levels of soul consciousness. These pillars apply to every single one of you regardless of where you are in this moment on your journey. Your advancement is based on a spiral process of clearing, releasing and transcending density of lesser beliefs, emotions or perceptions.
Awareness
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Knowledge You must seek and embrace higher knowledge related to metaphysical principles of past life, soul contracts, soul wounds and more.
You must be aware of yourself and others as an observer. The initiatives are to gain insights about YOU as monitor your thoughts, words, actions and feelings. The ability to gather these insights about yourself and others will help you tremendously.
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Energy Skills You must learn about energetic connections in the world and within yourself. Your awareness combined with energy skills helps you understand how you are affected by energy. You will learn tools and energy smarts related to yourself as an energetic being.
Intuitive Development You will be connecting to your guidance to understand the world in a new way. You will learn to trust, love and embrace your inner knowing.
Self-Healing Your number one directive is to be courageous and step into self-healing. This involves transmuting and transcending the denser energies affecting you mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. In this process, you will find balance and peace. Please note that, in all ways and every single day, you are in earth school to learn, advance and heal on your very unique journey. The path forward is not simple or easy but you are equipped. Your biggest challenge will always be your own resistance to shifts in identity, perception and truth! No worries, just, take heart and step forward! You and other awake Empaths at this time are paving a unique path for others awakening after you. Although this process of transformation is not simple, you will be the wise Empath that connects with higher energies and shines a beautiful light in this world. Much Love Michelle MICHELLE J HOWE Michelle is the founder of Empath Evolution. She approaches life with new insights and tools that allow her to shine with positivity in spite of the chaos, drama, and negativity in the world.The mission of Empath Evolution is to guide the awake and aware Empath on their unique journey to Self. Empath Evolution provides transformational guidance and healing through private sessions, development programs and communities. www.empathevolution.com
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Integrating Awareness with Feng Shui: Balancing Homes for the Highly Sensitive By Mark Ainley
The ancient Chinese practice of Feng Shui is famous the world over for how it helps harmonize the energy of a home. It can offer particular support for those who are more sensitive to energy by creating a nurturing, grounded atmosphere. 10 THE EMPATH / ISSUE 2
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Feng Shui is a practice exploring the interactive relationship between the external physical world and our inner world. Its principles provide a means for us to understand how our physical surroundings impact our consciousness, making it possible to align the outer world to match our desired inner state of being. While we are all responsive to external stimuli, some of us are more attuned to various energetic layers that are less visible to the naked eye. This makes it all the more important to create a home that has a grounded, nurturing quality of energy to support our presence and well-being.
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Everything around you speaks to you through your five primary senses, with sight being particularly receptive (there is more brain power is devoted to this sense than to the others).
What you look at has an impact on how you think and feel, well beyond your conscious associations with the object of your attention. Because your brain can make connections more diverse than what you consciously recognize, it is important to be mindful of
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THE EMPATH MAGA ZINE what you keep in your home environment. If you still have Aunt Matilda’s tea set but you don’t like it and you actually didn’t like her very much either, then you might think about why you are keeping it: an object that is associated with unhappy memories and unfulfilling relationships keeps that energy anchored in the space. Those who are more attuned to the subtler realms of reality are probably more aware of the feedback from their possessions, although not necessarily the specific messages. Surrounding yourself with more of what you love is essential to helping raise your mood and daily experience of self. When it comes to displaying what you love in your home, it should be noted that sometimes less is more: if you hold up your hand, it is everything around your hand that is not your hand that makes your hand visible. The same goes for what we choose to highlight in the home: if you
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have too much of the same kind of thing, you actually see less of it and therefore don’t have as clear a relationship with it. I’ve often seen people with a more pronounced interest in spiritual and esoteric matters having their home filled with art and objects that all relate to this aspect of their lives, but the impact can be more overwhelming than we realize. One recent client of mine had several trays of crystals on every cabinet surface in her bedroom. Not only did it look very cluttered, but the energetic impact from all those crystals was far greater than she imagined and created a more intense atmosphere in the bedroom than she had intended. She minimized her collection and made more space on her surfaces, which helped highlight the new display she created even better while also calming the energy in her bedroom. As much as your home should reflect you at core, it is at times important to go beyond your conscious personal preferences: we all have a range of expression available to us that is deeper than we might be aware of, and if we limit ourselves to what we know from our past experience, we might not draw out some more profound riches. If, for example, you have one or two favourite colours, keeping the palette of your home restricted to these can limit your emotional palette too, as well as capacity to get along well with those who express themselves differently. Feng Shui speaks to nature being made up of Five Elements - Fire, Earth, Metal, Water, and Wood
- and without all five of these materials and their representative colours (reds, yellows / earth tones, whites / pastels / metals, blue / black / dark tones, and greens) being present in a balanced way (emphasis on the word ‘balanced’!), we ourselves will be thrown off kilter, both in our physical condition and our inner being. Varying the materials, colours, objects, and kinds of images you have in your space, while still reflecting your personal taste, can help you connect to and express more of who you are in your life; furthermore, harmonizing such variety can help you be more at ease with those who express themselves differently than you, as your environment sets the tone of an engaging relationship between varying forms, colours, and materials. Because highly sensitive people can be more attuned than the average person to the invisible realms - or at least they are more aware of them - it is important for the home to support being grounded. As much as we might appreciate, admire, and have access to the subtler sides of reality - chakras, angels and guides, leylines, or the like - it is important to be able to embolden our presence in the physical body so we can integrate our knowledge into our being and to avoid burning out. Plants are ideal in this regard, as they are rooted in the earth yet grow and express themselves an uncompromising yet integrated way in the physical world. They additionally bring natural beauty and fresh air into the space - a
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bonus (I don’t suggest cacti though - the sharp spikes are too aggressive for the home). Lush scenes of nature are also ideal (I wouldn’t emphasize desert settings, as they are lacking in the water essential to our physical vitality). An image of a mountain can also support reaching great heights while being strongly grounded in physical reality - an ideal support for those focused on expanding their consciousness. Your bedroom is one of the most important places in the home, as it is where you spend approximately a quarter to a third of your life in a nonordinary state of consciousness. This room should support rest, romance and rejuvenation. Aim to keep things light and warm in tone: sheets, walls or curtains that are blue, black or any dark colour, can lead to excessive
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emotionality. As much as possible, minimize the use of mirrors, as the light reflecting elsewhere in the room can be too stimulating for a restful sleep. I prefer keeping books out of the bedroom completely - or I keep the book I am currently reading enclosed in the bedside table when I turn out the lights - so that the room is not filled with information while I am trying to sleep. Examine your bedroom with fresh eyes to see what could be having an adverse effect on your frame of mind as you sleep, and do your best to streamline the space so it feels calm, relaxing and inviting. Once you start looking at the world through Feng Shui glasses, you can start to see how your home is communicating with you. Listen to what is around you as you look with conscious eyes. But don’t panic - things are
not going to get immediately worse because you woke up to some adverse influences. Enjoy the process - I don’t suggest being so overzealous that you throw away things that you might regret having disposed of later on. Take step-by-step action that brings natural balance to your home so that you are supported, nurtured, and rejuvenated by your surroundings.
MARK AINLEY Mark Ainley is a Contemporary Feng Shui Consultant with a common-sense yet profound approach to applying Feng Shui principles for contemporary architecture and design tastes. He has consulted around the world both in person and via the net, and has been featured in print in North America, Europe, and Asia. www.senseofspace.com
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Connecting High Sensitivity with Eating Disorders By Francesca Baker
Until I saw The Empath magazine, I’d never heard of Highly Sensitive People. I had, however, met many. Sensitive to change, a complex tangle of emotions, highly conscientious, easily overwhelmed, feeling a need to withdraw, needing to avoid upsetting or overwhelming situations, highly attuned to other people’s feelings, often emotional, shy and self critical; all of these are characteristics familiar to anyone with an eating disorder. Disordered eating, far from being a desire to be thin, often develops as a negative coping skill to deal with overwhelming feelings. An undernourished body is numb to emotions due to the brain directing resources to deal with the crucial physical functions. These big emotions can be overwhelming. The fear related regions are particularly stirred by threats; a world that feels overwhelming and unsafe to an individual with big emotions which they don’t know how to articulate or process, will seek some kind of coping mechanism. By offering a set of rules, eating disorders also suggest a false sense of control that soothes the
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anxiety. Uncertainty is dangerous and eating disorders, at least at first, make that world a bit more certain.i They also create a barrier to others, dealing with the sense of being apart, at feeling different. Studies show that eating disorders seem to be more common among those on the autism spectrum than in the general population, and there’s also a correlation between the disorder and identification as a Highly Sensitive Person. In 2007, Asperger’s syndrome expert Tony Attwoodii reported that between 18% and 23% of teenage girls diagnosed with anorexia meet some, or all, of the diagnostic
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criteria for Asperger’s syndrome. This is echoed by eating disorder specialist Dr. Janet Treasure, who, with a team of researchers, ‘discovered that this distorted pattern of processing information has a strong similarity to autistic spectrums.’ Brain imaging studies suggest that both eating disorders and HSP could have their roots in genetics. One thing that they both have common is a hyper-responsive amygdala - an area of the brain involved in processing of emotions and responses to stress.iii For those with anorexia nervosa, amygdala hyperreactivityiv decreases as weight does - making it an attractive outcome for the brain, and one being constantly reinforced.v Assessment of the cortical areas linked to attention, perception THE– EMPATH.COM
and processing, show higher activation in response to all kinds of stimuli for both groups.
When it comes to eating disorders, the possibility of reward sparks an immense response in the reward circuit, and it’s this short-term high that restriction, bingeing or purging results in that becomes addictive. Over aroused and easily triggered, subtle stimuli becomes too much, and emotional regulation difficulties are found in both anorexia and bulimia. Intolerance of uncertainty and anxiety are traits suggested to be
a key factor in the vulnerability for eating disorders. Robyn Chutervi is a Naturopath and EFT Therapist who treats a large number of HSP with eating disorders. She is also an HSP who has recovered from an eating disorder. Many of the characteristics of HSP, such as a high degree of conscientiousness, intense experiencing of emotions and a difficulty in expressing them, are also found amongst those with eating disorders. She uses energy psychology techniques with her clients, and believes that ‘HSP with eating disorders as they respond far better to these than to conventional cognitive behavioural strategies... which don't address the underlying emotional drivers of the disordered behaviour.’ According to Amber Rochellevii
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THE EMPATH MAGA ZINE a lot of Highly Sensitive People grow up feeling like there is something deeply wrong with them. That they are somehow flawed. A message that comes to them from being told that they are too sensitive, dramatic, emotional or ‘too much.’ This leads to feeling misunderstood, and a sense of distrust of their own feelings and intuition. An attempt to make up for this ‘flaw’ can result in perfectionism, and a structure to follow. Just like eating disorders: ‘Eating disorders are a way of stuffing feelings. Of eating over them, or throwing them up, or starving them away.’ There’s a misconception that eating disorders are a choice; a diet taken to extremes by vain girls wanting to be skinny. Not only is this damaging, it’s wrong. Georgia Fosterviii is a hypnotherapist, and sums it up;
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‘People don’t just create an eating disorder. Their mind does, often to make that person feel safe. High levels of stress and trauma create anxiety and negative thinking. The mind demands a way to calm down, even if the habit is unhealthy or illogical and food is a good, quick easy fix.’ Those who have a tendency to be highly sensitive may find that their inner and critical voice takes over. Georgia helps people tune into what she calls their Healthy
Logical self, which we all have. ‘When someone has logic, they don’t feel the world is against them and takes life in their stride so much better. The key is to train the deepest part of the mind how to do this.’ This doesn’t mean that they won’t develop an eating disorder, or be at risk of it. It’s just another tool in their arsenal. It also doesn’t mean that eating disorders are the result of highlystrung individuals being pushed too hard by families or society. It’s just that, like all aspects of health and wellbeing, things happen on a spectrum. Amy tells me how she had an eating disorder as a teenager. A therapist explained that she had probably always had a higher likelihood of developing one due to being more sensitive
THE EMPATH MAGA ZINE than her peers, as well as something of a high achiever, perfectionist and introvert. But having a predisposition to an illness does not mean that its onset is inevitable. Environment, neurological make up, personality, circumstance and experience all play into the mix. For Amy, the awareness that she is a highly sensitive person, that this isn’t a flaw, and knowing how to structure her personal and professional lives to maximise her strengths and minimise exposure to triggering situations has helped her enormously.
FRANCESCA BAKER Francesca Baker is a a word lover, book geek and literary enthusiast. fbaker@live.co.uk www.Andsoshethinks.co.uk @andsoshethinks
There’s nothing wrong with being emotional, sensitive, or attuned to feelings. What causes harm is when those characteristics take over and used to control a life, limiting the individual, and damaging their emotional, social and physical wellbeing. Recognising the qualities that come with being an HSP, and using those as strengths, seems to be the key. The only thing wrong with empathy is believing that it’s wrong. You can’t starve or stuff empathy away. You can live and flourish with it. NOTES i. Frank GK, Roblek T, Shott ME, Jappe LM, Rollin MD, Hagman JO, et al. Heightened fear of uncertainty in anorexia and bulimia nervosa. Int J Eating Disord. 2012;45(2):227–232. [PMC free article][PubMed]
[PubMed] v. www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21316204 vi. www.empowertotalhealth.com.au vii. amberrochelle.com
ii. www.tonyattwood.com.au/about-aspergers/ girls-and-women-who-have-aspergers
viii. www.georgiafoster.com
iii. Harrison A, Sullivan S, Tchanturia K, Treasure J. Emotional functioning in eating disorders: attentional bias, emotion recognition and emotion regulation. Psychol Med. 2010:1–11. [PubMed]
Frank GK, Roblek T, Shott ME, Jappe LM, Rollin MD, Hagman JO, et al. Heightened fear of uncertainty in anorexia and bulimia nervosa. Int J Eating Disord. 2012;45(2):227–232. [PMC free article][PubMed]
iv Joos AA, Saum B, van Elst LT, Perlov E, Glauche V, Hartmann A, et al. Amygdala hyperreactivity in restrictive anorexia nervosa. Psychiatry Res. 2011;191(3):189–195.
www.tonyattwood.com.au/about-aspergers/ girls-and-women-who-have-aspergers
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attentional bias, emotion recognition and emotion regulation. Psychol Med. 2010:1–11. [PubMed] Joos AA, Saum B, van Elst LT, Perlov E, Glauche V, Hartmann A, et al. Amygdala hyperreactivity in restrictive anorexia nervosa. Psychiatry Res. 2011;191(3):189–195. [PubMed] www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21316204 www.empowertotalhealth.com.au www.amberrochelle.com www.georgiafoster.com
Harrison A, Sullivan S, Tchanturia K, Treasure J. Emotional functioning in eating disorders:
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Who is the Highly Sensitive Extravert? By Erik Thor
Millions of people have read Susan Cains Quiet by now. Quiet is supposed to outline what it means to be an introvert in a world that won’t stop talking. But the most interesting thing about Quiet is that it doesn’t actually discuss introversion. It discusses highly sensitive people. This is a book full of experiences of highly sensitive people. 18 THE EMPATH / ISSUE 2
THE EMPATH MAGA ZINE Quiet discusses the overwhelming nature of physical reality. It discusses the experiences of both introverts and extraverts - and our need for downtime, for peace and quiet, and for balancing. Yes, Quiet is a great book. But it confuses the terms of introversion and extraversion with HSP. But don’t just take my word for it - Elaine Aron agrees with me. In an article in Psychology Today, Elaine Aron writes that: “Her discussion of 'introversion' throughout is almost identical to what has become the standard definition of high sensitivity deep thinkers, preferring to process slowly, sensitive to stimuli, emotionally reactive, needing time alone, and so forth, all as described in the first scientific paper specifically on sensitivity, published in 1997, where it was systematically distinguished from the most common scientific definitions of introversion, which emphasize the social side.” It’s not Susan Cains fault. Many researchers now research introversion as if it is the same as being highly sensitive. While Carl Jung was the first to identify and define introversion, the popular definition of an introvert has been changed and transformed far beyond what Carl Jung originally intended. Jung sees introversion as a systematic preference of the inner, or subjective, condition over the objective. The introvert is a person that makes decisions based on inner circumstances and thoughts. This is not the same as HSP. But because 70% of HSPs
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identify as introverts, it makes sense that the two traits are often confused with one another. This is an article that wants to discuss what a highly sensitive extravert looks like and what separates the highly sensitive extravert from the highly sensitive introvert. I’m writing for the remaining 30% to give an increased understanding and contrast of the two traits. What is a highly sensitive extravert? • A highly sensitive extravert makes decisions and actions in relation to external events and information. • A highly sensitive extravert has a heightened response to sensory information and is more prone to overwhelm and overstimulation.
An interest in objective subtleties and complexities In general, this produces a character that places interest in external ongoings, events and activities, but also a person that seeks to avoid or manage overwhelming or intense situations. Someone that is engaging the world while also tuning it down in intensity, decreasing the volume, the heat, the loudness, and the intensity of what they see and observe. The highly sensitive extravert is interested in what is happening around them, but typically, they are more interested in subtleties, complexities, and nuances in their external surroundings.
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An interest in what is possible - not what is real So the highly sensitive extravert makes a big effort to guide their eyes and their ears to things that are more calm and
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peaceful. Typically, the highly sensitive extravert has a strong imagination, and uses ideas, patterns, possibilities to orient themselves in their surroundings. Their interest is not in the 'here and now,' but in the possible. The highly sensitive extravert gives their primary interest to patterns,
connections, and associations that they make in relation to their surroundings.
A tendency to rebel against what is The highly sensitive extravert has a tendency to rebel against,
THE EMPATH MAGA ZINE and to say no to the external situations around them. They more readily disagree with, or avoid, or dispute things concrete, tangible information. But the highly sensitive extravert gladly says yes and pursues what is possible, what could be, and what might be true. They investigate
and research their surroundings, searching for the future, while rebelling against the present. A highly sensitive extravert that does not rebel against reality, may find themselves feeling more than overwhelmed in the process. As a highly sensitive extravert, you may be saying yes to too much
that is too intense and too real, while steadily losing energy and enthusiasm in the process. Perhaps Susan Cain is not an introvert as she thinks, but a highly sensitive extravert. I wouldn’t blame her if she was - she is still a brilliant author - a great thinker - and clearly a highly sensitive person. I’m sure there are quite a few highly sensitive extraverts out there that think they are introverted so let’s talk more altogether about what it means to be a highly sensitive extravert, and let’s investigate together to find out what it means to be a highly sensitive extravert.
ERIK THOR Erik Thor is the author of the ebook The Hero Code - Finding Energy And Power In Your Personality Type, has spent the last six years studying personality psychology and HSP and provides original thoughts and theories on these personality types. www.erikthor.com www.facebook.com/ ErikNeojungian/ www.youtube.com/erikjuntti References: Psychology Today
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TOXIC PEOPLE – TOXIC CONCEPT By Imelda Almqvist, shamanic painter, teacher, practitioner and author
"Toxicity is the degree to which a substance can damage an organism. Toxicity can refer to the effect on a whole organism, such as an animal, bacterium or plant, as well as the effect on the sub structure of the organism, such as cell (cytotoxicity) or an organ such as the liver (hepatotoxicity). By extension, the world may be metaphorically used to describe toxic effect on larger and more complex groups, such as the family unit or society at large. Sometimes the word is more or less synonymous with poisoning in everyday usage" - Wikipedia It has become common usage to apply the word toxic to people. “You won’t believe how toxic my mother-in-law is!” A friend has pointed out to me that there is even a series of books on the market: Toxic People, Toxic Relationships, Toxic Parents... I just ran a quick check on Amazon and they are grouped with books about psychopaths. Now I fully and completely understand that there are people and situations that are not good for us, therefore we put distance between us and them, or even avoid them altogether. I myself do this and have no doubt that others do this with me. This takes us to the rub number one: it is rather childish to divide the world into toxic people
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and... what is the opposite thing exactly? Non-toxic people? Life enhancing people? I just ran a search on antonyms of toxic: Harmless people. Helpful people. Hygienic people. Inoffensive people. Non-venomous people. Safe people... OURSELVES! I hope that this list illustrates just how absurd it is to classify people in terms of toxicity. I think it shows pretty effectively that, unlike snakes, bees or scorpions, human beings do not carry venom. Not physically or literally anyway. Human beings can of course behave in nasty ways and resort to survival mechanisms that others perceive as pure poison. However this is (at best) a coping mechanism or (at worst) profoundly dysfunctional
behaviour displayed by damaged (wounded) people. No expectant mother intends to put a poison baby on the planet. And most so-called toxic individuals will have areas of competence, generosity and their moments of loving kindness. So your toxic parents may be the the ones who get the weekly shopping for the elderly man next-door, or your toxic colleague may be a wonderful dad who runs the local Under Fives football club. So the first thing we need to release is the fantasy that other people are toxic and we are not. We all weave in and out of behaviours that range from severely dysfunctional to evolved or even inspired, all the time. This
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THE EMPATH MAGA ZINE means that we are delightful and uplifting company some of the time and poor friends at other times. Or we are a great friend for X but we really let down Y when she most needed our help. On reflections I would go as far as saying that it is irresponsible to describe other people as toxic.
Words have an energy all of their own and they can be used as poison arrows. The moment we say; “so and so is toxic” (even only behind their back) we affect them energetically. It means that people who may have been positively disposed to them will actively start looking for trouble and hidden motives. Perhaps even put negative interpretations on their actions and statements. We, and only we chose to set that in motion – not the individual. We are using language in an irresponsible, and yes, toxic way. The next thing we need to do is reflect on our own toxicity. When we gossip, we are displaying toxic behaviour. The same thing goes for slagging someone off (perhaps to make ourselves feel better), breaking confidentiality, shouting swear words at other road users in heavy traffic (even if we are alone in our car), giving someone the finger or an offensive nickname behind their back etc., etc. Having established 24 THE EMPATH / ISSUE 2
THE EMPATH MAGA ZINE that we are all more than capable of toxic behaviour and resort to this at least on occasion, we can start to look at what feels so wrong about toxic behaviour and how often it is not even remotely intended as toxic behaviour. For instance, when I visit my family of origin, this feels like being shackled and forced to be an awkward thirteen year-old again. Not because my mother or siblings intend this, but because I have spent years changing my settings and moving on from the person I once was. I even moved abroad and embraced other cultures and other languages – anything to get way from the claustrophobic small town mentality! There is no doubt in my mind that prolonged visits are not good for me: they are both draining and profoundly upsetting, and I plan both duration and my ‘escape velocity’ with great care. But this doesn’t mean my family consists of toxic people! It does mean though, that I have rejected and released ways of functioning that they have never questioned. And from their point of view it would be highly questionable to claim that my way is somehow superior, or more evolved than theirs. It is just different, and certainly feels more respectful or ‘spiritually sound’ to me and when I behave my way and follow my chosen principles, I feel like a better person creating better outcomes and healthier relationships. However, this does not give me the right to describe my family as toxic - though I absolutely feel the sting of their words and criticisms of me, and their lack of ability to see who
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I have become hurts too. Then again that is my journey; to learn about not taking that to heart. It ultimately teaches me that very little of what others say and do reflects on me – it only reflects on them, even if they are talking about me! That was a key insight in my life and it still came from my family. An unintentional but life-changing lesson.
Taking this to the next level, what about people who cause problems wherever they go? (I am a shamanic teacher by profession, believe me, I meet these people all the time. They do exist!). I have heard a colleague refer to this as ‘social pain.’ Those individuals (and I am not talking about psychopaths and serial killers) will keep joining collectives (classes, clubs, groups, circles) desperate for acceptance on some level, knowing that this will inevitably backfire and soon they will find themselves in the role of outcasts or scapegoats again. The human need for belonging, for having a community and rewarding social interactions with others is a core need, not a luxury. Reflecting on that for a moment, (and we all know several people who fit this description), we see how incredibly sad this cycle is. Those people are not toxic; they are just hurt and carry a
lifetime of rejections and bad experiences. Unless a group is actively therapeutic (meaning that it exists for the explicit purpose of healing and permanently changing our wiring) those processes will keep on repeating; these people’s own behaviour creates the defeating outcomes, but they have no way of breaking free. This is profoundly sad... but not toxic. Pulling out all stops: what then of career criminals, mass murderers, psychopaths and serial killers? My youngest son likes reminding me that Hitler was a vegetarian because he loved animals. We have all heard stories about criminals stopping to help an old lady cross the road before robbing a bank. As regards to psychopaths and serial killers - I am no expert but I believe that they often had atrocious childhoods. Ask a police profiler or criminologist! Or look up profiles of young people who committed school shootings in the US. No teenager wakes up one morning and impulsively decides to shoot fellow students and teachers that day. Such acts are many months in the planning (and many years in the making as an individual becomes more and more alienated from their community). Imagine having a childhood where all you knew was abuse, not love. What kind of individual would you grow into? At the very least a twisted damaged one. You might be dangerous, but are you toxic? The bottom line is that every human being alive has a divine spark somewhere within them;
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THE EMPATH MAGA ZINE we are not robots, we are ‘ensouled’ beings, meaning that Spirit married Matter, so all of us could come into being.
When people (including ourselves in an unguarded moment) display toxic behaviour, we can make an active choice to see their soul, their spirit, their timeless Divine self. When everyone around us does this (switching away from criticism and committing to seeing our soul light and luminosity, even tiny amounts of it) a shift will occur. Just as a whole team of colleagues constantly (and secretly) referring to us as toxic will flatten us, push us right down doing the opposite will lift us. This lift may just bring a brief two second awareness that other ways of being DO exist, that not everyone is ‘out to get us or laugh at us.’ From small acorns large oaks trees grow. The choice is ours, in every moment. On occasion we may even choose to deliberately walk into toxic situations to embody the breath of fresh air, the catalyst. Not for too long, not to the point where we risk injury or illness, but long enough to make a slight difference by responding to a situation from a different level of awareness. What are Toxic People? To my mind they are people who stick the label toxic on other fellow human beings. IMELDA ALMQVIST Imelda is a shamanic painter, teacher, practitioner and author who divides her time between London, UK and Södermanland, Sweden. Imelda has also pioneered a shamanic program for young people called The Time Travellers offering safe sacred group space for children and teenagers to develop a viable spiritual toolkit. Shamanic healing is all about restoring harmony in the body, mind and the human energy field. www.shaman-healer-painter.co.uk
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Empowering Empaths with Angel Healing By Sabi Hilmi
Ever since I can remember, I have always been hyper-sensitive Empath. As a child I would 'feel' other people’s emotional and physical pain in my own body, and it would take me days, if not weeks to shake it off. If a friend was being bullied at school I would go home and cry all night, if I was to watch something terrible on TV it would affect me for weeks maybe even months and years. If a relative was angry and was shouting I would 'feel' the sound piercing through my heart. One of my earliest memories of speaking up about my feeling is when I was about twelve or thirteen. I was waiting in a school playground to pick up my sister and saw a mother hitting a small helpless child, it hurt me so much that I couldn’t stop myself from going over and telling the mother to stop! I was labelled as 'too sensitive' from a very young age which made me feel weak, or as though something was wrong 28 THE EMPATH / ISSUE 2
with me, so I learned to be introverted and lived in my own world and this ruined my selfconfidence. My school reports always said the same thing; “Sabi needs to believe in herself more,” and everyone else used to say; “Sabi needs to toughen up!”
From the age of thirteen I set up an alter in my bedroom, and wrote out my own prayers, which I would read every single night for years.
candles, angel figurines, incense burning and a tape of beautiful heavenly music that was on repeat all night. This was my call for help, to toughen up and not be so sensitive or different from everyone else. My faith was the strongest thing that kept me going. I managed to pass my GCSEs, College and found myself a job in Finance. I worked my way up into some of the largest corporate banks in the City. My spiritual faith, beliefs and practice kept me going through the fastpaced, competitive and, at times, harsh environment where there wasn’t much room for ‘sensitivity.’
I’d place a Do Not Disturb sign on my bedroom door so my family would know not to come in! My special alter had loads of
When I got made redundant from one of the American banks it was a blessing! As part of our package they offered to
THE EMPATH MAGA ZINE pay a large amount of money towards further study and, even though it was a bit embarrassing presenting this to HR, I applied for all levels of Reiki, Tarot, Psychic Development, Crystal Healing, Angels and Spirit Guides, Mediumship and Past Life Regression courses! They reluctantly accepted and paid for it all so, for over five years, I worked full-time in banking while studying at evenings and weekends. This is when I learned how to protect my energy and manage my sensitivity in a healthy way. My teacher believed in my natural skills and intuitive abilities so much that she asked me to coteach with her at the college part time. My confidence grew and I felt like an Empowered Empath, using my sensitivity to help heal and teach others how they can
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use their spiritual gifts to make positive changes. In 2009, I set up my Purely Angels website whilst working at a Japanese bank. I was also exploring the Law of Attraction after reading the Secret. Within weeks I got approached by the Sunday Times magazine to write an article on Guardian Angels. She loved the fact that I was a City girl who was also spiritual and wondered how I balanced the two contrasting worlds! After that article was published
I was approached by Penguin Publishers who commissioned me to write The Secrets of Angel Healing. This was all published within a year or so and that was my
way out of banking! I set up my practice and matched my banking salary within a few months, plus I absolutely loved my lifestyle doing what I loved, still an Empath but putting this gift to good use. After many years, I have reached thousands of people through my book, which is all around the world, and have personally given consultations, classes, webinars and workshops to hundreds of people who are also Empaths trying to find balance in their lives. Personally I have found that Angel Healing worked best for me in managing my sensitivity. I have channelled a lot of guidance and wisdom through my Guardian Angel and the Archangels, to help me with my personal relationship, banking career, family situations and spiritual development.
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Angels see everything through the eyes of Unconditional Love, rather than fear. If we can see the blessing in the conflict and can Love the situation and person, this puts us in an expanded place where we can grow and heal quicker. If we see ourselves as victims, overpowered and helpless, this puts us in a contracted place of fear - which then blocks our energy chakras, mind, heart and body on all levels. I spent many years avoiding certain people, places, jobs and events through fear of absorbing negativity. I realised this isn’t how I want to live; it’s very limiting and fearful. I now believe I can protect myself wherever I am, whoever I am with, and whatever I am doing,
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just by knowing my personal boundaries and remembering that I am Love and I am Light. The key to living a balanced life as an Empath is to be Spiritually Connected (To God, Universe, Angels etc.,) Centred in your Heart (To Love) and Grounded to Mother Earth (To feel Safe and Secure). Every person has a special Guardian Angel who journeys with them throughout all lifetimes and incarnations. This Angel loves you unconditionally and knows you inside out! One way to communicate with your Guardian Angel is to write them a letter pouring your heart out about your worries, and ask for a sign that they are with you helping you to overcome all difficulties. Angels respond to our calls for guidance, assistance and protection. Their purpose is to serve humanity and to encourage us to grow and expand our consciousness. They bring us inspirational messages and healing energy to return any negative or
low vibrational energies back to it’s pure essence of Love. This is Angel Healing.
SABI HILMI Sabi Hilmi has worked in the Corporate field in the City of London for many years, and has therefore had exposure to the stress and pressure involved in balancing spirituality with every day life. She had her first divine experience when a close relative was seriously ill ten years ago and an angel appeared by her side. From that day on, she began training as an angel practitioner. By following angelic guidance, Sabi changed her life around, and the emotional roller-coaster she'd been suffering turned eventually to happiness and contentment. In her remarkable book The Secrets of Angel Healing she shows you how to channel your angels and gain strength and guidance from them. She shares her story of finding true love, so that you will learn the secrets given to her by the Angelic Realm and be guided to find your soulmate. She runs an Angel Sanctuary in Hertfordshire. www.purely-angels.com
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IN THE ARMY – Can Empaths Have a Career in the Military? By Simon Maryan Ph.D
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It has shown that Empaths are a curiously inquisitive group of people and love to learn and push for confirmation on their suspicions, hunches, or feelings. They question the norm and seek knowledge outside of what they were taught in schools or from family or other external influences. This makes them ideal for certain branches and trades within the military. THE– EMPATH.COM
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THE EMPATH MAGA ZINE Having served in the UK military and also being an Empath, I have worked with, and met other Empaths across all three services – army, air force and navy. Interestingly, some of the Empaths I met were unaware of it at the time - as I was once too - and it took a fair bit of persuading for them to open up to the idea. The thing is, in the military the traditional British stiff upperlip approach is very much at the forefront, particularly in frontline units. There are obvious branches of the military that suit Empaths well, such as the medical units, accounts, stores
etc. as these types of jobs allow for Empathic qualities to come to the fore, yet Empaths can still be found in front-line units, often because they have had troubled upbringings which led to them learning to switch off their emotions in order to survive. This is ideal for this type of job because you cannot afford to be an overly emotional soul while kicking doors in and inflicting carnage on the enemy. This self-protective mechanism is a double-edged sword though, and while it is beneficial at the time, long-term it leads to a build up of negative emotions and energy, which either explodes at some point, or can lead to depression and even suicide in some cases.
able to tell instantly when someone is lying, or if someone is saying one thing but feeling or thinking another and wearing a mask to cover truly what is going on.
I recently carried out a small research survey on Empaths in the military and it produced some enlightening information. Below are the results of the survey so far:
6. Alcohol, drugs, sex, food,
1. Empaths often choose to spend their time alone, online and in the company of misfits and eccentrics, and interestingly, frontline units and special forces are full of these types of characters, because it takes a special type of individual to willingly want to do the kind of work involved.
2. Empaths also have the ability to read the atmosphere in their surroundings, they feel changes going on before they see them and this is a highly sought-after skill in these types of units and invaluable in being able to operate proactively as well as reacting effectively.
3. A very useful ability is being 34 THE EMPATH / ISSUE 2
4. Empaths are protective of the underdog and anyone whose suffering, in emotional pain, or being bullied and draws an Empath’s attention and compassion.
5. An Empath can become a dumping ground for everyone else’s issues and problems which, if they’re not careful, can end up as their own. However they make good friends because they can listen without interrupting - often without saying much at all. combat and chaos are to name but a few addictions that Empaths turn to, to block out the emotions of others. It is a form of self-protection in order to hide from someone or something, which can ultimately lead to self destruction.
7. Although many Empaths want to heal others they can end up turning away from being healers (even though they have a natural ability for it), after they’ve studied and qualified, because they take on too much from the one they are trying to heal. Especially if they are unaware of their empathy. Anything of a supernatural nature is of interest to Empaths and they aren’t surprised or shocked easily. Even at the revelation of what many others would consider unthinkable.
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8. An Empath needs times of solitude and will go stir-crazy if they don’t get quiet time. This isn’t always possible in the military, but the culture is one that respects privacy.
9. Empaths get bored easily and work and home life has to be kept interesting for an Empath or they switch off from it and end up daydreaming or not paying attention. The military is rife with tedious tasks and Empaths hate doing things that do not interest them, or have any value for them, as it feels like they are living a lie by doing so. To force an Empath to do something they dislike through guilt or labelling them as idle, will only serve in making them unhappy. It’s for this reason many Empaths get labelled as being lazy, when they most definitely are not, their minds and hearts just operate differently.
10. Empaths are free spirits and crave adventure, freedom and travel, and the military provides plenty of travel. Although not often to the nicer parts of the world.
11. Empaths hate clutter and untidiness, it makes them feel weighed down and blocks their flow of energy, so the tidiness required in the military is ideal.
12. Empaths find routine, rules or control, imprisoning, in fact anything that takes away their freedom is highly irritating, they feel like their hands and feet are tied and start to feel trapped. Ironically, this isn’t a problem at the beginning of a military career, particularly if the person joins in their teens. However, as time THE– EMPATH.COM
goes on and as the person begins to understand themselves more clearly, it can become an issue.
13. Although kind and often very tolerant of others, Empaths do not like to be around overly egotistical people, who put themselves first and refuse to consider another’s feelings or points of view other than their own. This proves to be a huge challenge for some, particularly as they move up the ranks and working across the rank structure.
14. Some NCO’s are extremely arrogant, as are some officers, however the difficulty within the military structure is that officers have the upper-hand through their rank, more so than in a civilian organisation. The higher their rank the more pressure can be applied both consciously and unconsciously by the senior rank, and this can be hugely frustrating for Empaths. Also, it seems that empathy is low within the Junior Non-Commissioned Officers (JNCO’s), higher in the Senior Non-Commissioned Officers (SNCO’s) and within officers it seems to be the other way round. Perhaps this is because at the higher levels there is a need to be detached in order to see the bigger picture strategically and use that information to deploy assets effectively, knowing that many lives are at risk.
15. How an Empath is feeling will dictate which face they show to the world. They can be prone to mood swings and if they’ve taken on too much negativity, they will appear quiet and unsociable, even miserable.
Empaths detest having to pretend to be happy when they’re sad, this only adds to their weight of negative emotions, and the military is sometimes a great place for this because there is a tradition of moaning and complaining through sarcasm that enables people to offload the negativity in a group setting and have fun with it. So it appears that Empaths can indeed have a career in the military and be very successful, and it is hugely beneficial for them to understand who and how they are earlier rather than later. Even though I have served, and I am an Empath, I too took a long time to figure it out and I wish I knew then what I know now, it would have made a huge difference at the time. I hope that you find the results useful and interesting and please feel free to take part in the research and complete the survey, which you can do here: Research Project - Empaths in the Military www.simonmaryan. com/empaths-in-the-militaryresearch-project
SIMON MARYAN Ph.D. GHR & GHSC Reg Simon is a mentalist, psychologist, author and speaker and run his Mind-Body Coaching business based in Aberdeen, UK, offering coaching, psychological change as well as physical and nutritional coaching. He also runs training courses in NLP, Hypnosis, Hypnotherapy and Coaching as well as a variety of other soft skills courses. www.simonmaryan.com
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Ask An Empath By Sabrina Banes
In every issue, Sabrina will ask five questions of an HSP, in the hope that we' ll find we share common difficulties, common strengths, and that we have something to teach one another. In this issue we are proud to feature an interview with Empath INDIGO BRUNTON, 25, of New York City. Indigo is Creative Coordinator at Sincerely, Tommy, a concept store and community space in Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn. She is also a recording artist, illustrator and writer.
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THE EMPATH When did you realize there was something different about how you perceive the world? Were you supported in identifying your particular abilities?
INDIGO I think I've always known. My mother is a queer black immigrant woman, a single parent. I'm first-generation American. We lived in the South, we didn't have very much money, so all those identities made this complex overarching identity that lended an emotional intelligence to my environment.
THE EMPATH Which of your senses are heightened, and how does your sensitivity manifest?
INDIGO Intuition - of everything - other people's emotions and intentions, intuition about situations - it just manifests as the guiding force in my life.
THE EMPATH Before you identified as an empath/HSP, what were some of the diagnoses or labels you received?
INDIGO Borderline personality disorder (at age 12). My mom really ignored the diagnoses because she was like, "That is not my
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child." It's only this year that I'm realizing I'm an empath and what that means.
THE EMPATH How does being an HSP affect you day-to-day?
INDIGO Before, I didn't have language to dissect and understand what was happening to me, so when these chaotic situations would surface I didn't know how to dissolve them.
THE EMPATH What coping techniques do you employ to manage and prevent sensory overload?
INDIGO Definitely music helps me soothe and get in a more positive space. Also guided meditation and conscious breathing, which I use to centre myself, presence myself to my body, what's happening to my internalized psycho-emotional body stress. SABRINA BANES Sabrina is a former newspaper reporter and book reviewer, a lifelong HSP, and the creator of Rom Com Tarot. In addition to writing for The Empath, she is currently working on a series of novels that use the Major Arcana as a framing mechanism.
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Cothiemuir Calling By Carole Ann
Carol Ann shares her experiences of a May Day visit to Cothiemuir wood stone circles in Aberdeenshire, Scotland. 40 THE EMPATH / ISSUE 2
THE EMPATH MAGA ZINE May Day is known as Beltane in the Celtic calendar. It’s a day when the rising sun brings life giving warmth and energy to revitalise the land for the next year’s harvest. A time of hope and re-birth. 4000 – 4500 years ago, when the recumbent stone circles of North East Scotland were built, May Day was a time of celebration and dancing. With great fires blazing on strategic high places, to encourage the sun to enter the earth and fertilize it for the coming year. Contrary to modern day fixations, May Day does not always occur on the first day of the month. Dependent on the angle of the rising sun to the horizon, it can vary between 1st and 8th May. Coming out of the shower, I find myself wondering when May Day will occur this year, 2011. Immediately, an image of Cothiemuir stone circle fills my mind and I know I have to make a visit. Tomorrow, Monday 2nd May. That’s when I will go. Mind made up, a smile spreads across my face and I know the timing is right. Visits to Cothiemuir are always delightful explorations and I look forward to sharing time with this old friend again. Next day, I park my car close to the Cothiemuir natural, woodland burial site and walk towards a gap in the stone dyke. After saying ‘good morning’ to the trees on either side, I ask permission to enter. The words ‘please come in’ immediately form in my mind and I know I am welcome. I say ‘hello’ and ‘good morning’ to old spruce, young mountain ash and newly flowering gorse, as I carefully
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tread the meandering, dirt path. Through the pine trees to the left, I see tantalising glimpses of the occasional grey stone bathing in sunlight.
The path turns left. I gently pass between bushes of coconut smelling gorse, carefully avoiding the thorns and emerge into sunlight. Into the beautiful, welcoming space that is Cothiemuir. Sights, sounds and smells immediately invade my senses. This is not the well manicured, restored space of East Aqhorthies, Loanhead of Daviot or Midmar. Stones lie where they have fallen, hardly visible in the undergrowth; or list precariously, kept semi-upright by smaller stones at their bases. In the south-west corner, the smooth, tactile, rounded shape of the recumbent stone lies prominently, like an expectant mother, between her pink granite flankers; one tall and square, the other a triangular masterpiece. Their feldspar and quartz crystals are barely visible, covered in millennia of lichen growth. Once again I ask permission, this time to enter the stone circle. I am greeted with a gentle buzz, almost chattering and instantly know I am warmly welcomed. I say ‘hello’ and ‘thank you’ to each stone in turn and realise I am beaming from ear to ear as I cross the circle to stand beside the square recumbent
flanker. This stone circle has a very warm, welcoming, soft, feminine energy. She is balanced in the landscape by another stone circle, visible in an avenue of trees at Old Keig, half a mile away. The Old Keig stone circle is also welcoming, but has a strong, masculine energy and a rectangular 40 ton recumbent stone with very sharp edges. The two stone circles are very different, but perfect energetic partners. As I stand listening to the wind in the trees and the bird song, the sun warms my back. Everything is alive including me and my smile grows even wider as my heart fills with love. Love for this beautiful place; and love for life itself. After a while I ask if there is anything I can do. The answer is a gentle ‘no thank you’. There is a stone slab in the centre of the circle, covering a later Bronze Age burial cairn. It catches my eye, but I’m told ‘not yet.’ I am enjoying the moment, when I become aware of several bees buzzing around. One is insistent. It hovers in front of me, then flies in some sort of geometrical pattern. ‘Is this a directional dance? Do you want me to follow you?’ I ask. The bee flies behind me and hovers again, but this time it is facing away from me, away from the stones. ‘Do you want me to follow?’ The bee flies off. I notice a faint pathway leading into the distance. A pathway created by the constant passing of deer, foxes, badgers and rabbits. I go for a walk that meanders around bushes, under low hanging branches, through muddy patches and over tufts of
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THE EMPATH MAGA ZINE hardy grass. The trees on this side of the stone circle are different. Ancient oak, beech and lime are the masters here. Deciduous trees slowly burgeoning in new, spring green leaves; leaves so soft and translucent that I can see my fingers through them as I gently reach out to touch them. On tree tops and branches in direct sunlight, the new leaves dance in the gentle wind; whilst below in the shade, beech leaf buds are still tightly closed, within their protective brown sheaths. Suddenly I come to a small, narrow road, the Laird’s Throat, to be exact - the old road that runs along the river Don, from Keig to Monymusk. Crossing over, the animal path continues into the distance. The landscape has changed. Now the path meanders through a wide, green, uneven, deciduous strip, flanked by stone dykes and fields. Ancient oak, beech and lime still prevail, but here they look more sad and unloved. In the undergrowth I see old foundation stones for a long-forgotten building; the occasional ditch and even an old man-made drain. A pile of large stones catches my eye, the unwanted contents of a longcleared field; a strange mixture of pink and white granite, even a chunk of old, dirty marble. As I walk along I continue to talk to the trees and stones. Saying ‘hello’ and ‘lovely to see you’ as I pass. The response is immediate and the leaves appear to tremble in the breeze. My smile continues to beam across my face. What a wonderful day. I finally come to an old, gnarled oak tree and stand there for some time just
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THE EMPATH MAGA ZINE simply looking at it; observing the cracks in the bark; the cobwebs and detritus within the cracks; the knotted branches; and the clusters of young leaves unfurling in the open sunlight above. As I watch, the colour of the leaves seems to change and intensify, until the tree tops become a shimmering, goldengreen swathe swaying in the gentle breeze. It seems this is as far as I’m meant to come today. I see a car through the trees and realise I must be very close to the driveway leading to Castle Forbes. I have walked a long, meandering route. Walking back along the animal path, the energy of this space has clearly lifted. It feels much lighter; no longer sad and unloved. The sounds in my ears are amplified; the wind, the birdsong and the creaks of the trees are closer and clearer to me now. The colours are brighter too. I arrive back to a Cothiemuir alive with birdsong and return to my earlier spot next to the square flanker stone. Once again the slab in the centre of the circle catches my eye and this time I’m invited to go and stand on it. As I watch the sunlight shining on the stones, a gentle tingle rises up my spine, to become an express train of delightful sensations as the area fills with the iridescent colours of a stunning rainbow. Each stone in turn takes on a different colour hue and seems to pulsate with life. My beaming smile turns to joyous laughter and my heart expands so much I feel it will burst. Eventually the sensations subside to a gentle background hum and I open my eyes. I didn’t realise I’d closed them. I look around. The outlines of the stones, the trees and every leaf on the trees are very sharp and clear. The colours are intense. Then I blink and the sharpness, the intensity starts to recede.
I stand there for a while simply enjoying the space. Finally I realise it is time to say good-bye and walk to the far edge of the circle.
Before I leave, I turn once more to face the stones and say ‘thank you for such a wonderful day’. It seems so little to say for all these beautiful experiences, but that’s exactly what I find myself doing. ‘You are very welcome’ is the wonderful chorus which comes back to me. Once again I find myself beaming and laughing. I just can’t stop myself and don’t want to either. On the track back to the car, I thank each tree and bush in turn, even the prickly gorse. I also thank the guardian of the site, for my warm welcome and giving me permission to enter. In each case I am thanked in return for coming. All the way home in the car, I continue to smile and laugh, I can’t help it. May Day 2011 has been a stunning day. A special day that I will always remember in my heart and the next time Cothiemuir calls me, I will have no hesitation in returning to this beautiful place.
LOCATION Cothiemuir Hill is located in the outstanding landscape of Strathdon, the small ancient wooded hill sits within the historic designed landscape of the Forbes Estate. DIRECTIONS From Aberdeen, take the A96 Inverurie Road. Go through four roundabouts and at Kintore turn off onto the B997 for 0.4 miles then at the roundabout turn left onto the B994. Go through one roundabout and continue along the B993 to Kemnay where you turn right onto Station Road and immediately left onto Riverside Road. Follow this road for three miles and before crossing the River Don turn right, right again and then a slight left onto the Lords Throat road which follows the north side of the river for five and a half miles all the way to Cothiemuir Hill. ADDRESS Castle Forbes Alford Aberdeenshire AB33 8BL www.aberdeennaturalburials.co.uk
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An Empath's Story Medical Herbalist Tasija Cruz shares her journey as an Empath and Highly Sensitive Person. By Tasija Cruz
The complexities of emotions will never be fully understood. We all feel, and I feel WAAAY too much; I feel the wind around me when it's not blowing, the physical and emotional pain of a stranger on a train and sense the communication between the trees. I am an Empath, a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), with a dab of clair-cognizance for good measure. As someone who really doesn't like the whole (label) thing, I am now glad those terms exist. I don't know who it was that first coined the term Empath, but I for one wish I knew of it earlier in my life. The emotions of an Empath before total integration and acceptance, may range from anxiety and to what may feel like paranoia, to a warm inner contentment. Feeling from the heart-centre, not the rational mind, without logic or verbal communication. In the early stages, before you have discerned what on earth is happening, going about your daily activities, passing people on the street, entering rooms
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or - worse for me - the dreaded subway (train), can feel like persistent beams of energy perpetually pulsating towards you. Being highly sensitive to the emotions of others, which are not always pleasant, can be emotionally draining. A person's long-term emotional traumas go very deep, leaving a permanent stain, frustration, illness, suspicion and more, all of these emotional energies become over-laid like a blueprint over your own. Occasionally the serenity of coming into contact with someone who is at peace with themselves, not projecting prejudices or whatever else comes with a bad day, is somewhat refreshing and amazingly consoling. I have found it settling, as if to remind me... all is well. As we grow and as time moves on, an inner knowing will unveil itself to you, like opening your heavy dreary curtains on the first day of spring. You'll hear the little birds chirping in the distance, feel the sunlight through the clouds, and have a new sense of renewal. You now know who you are, not
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THE EMPATH MAGA ZINE borderline schizophrenic, not imagining things, but a delight of a new humanity. You now know what to do and how to use this gift to benefit all whom cross your path. A broken heart... we all have heard the songs and have been through it, or seen it in some form. Heart energy is so strong when moved, to the point where we may manifest actual physical pain. Electromagnetic waves are sent out from the heart - we can all agree on that I assume - and these waves contain information the Empath is receiving, which is felt in an emotional form, like tingling on the skin, before being contaminated with logic, reason and personal biases. Personally, since the age of twelve, I have
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believed we - all of us - are all deeply connected to each other and can reminisce on drawing strings in my mind between the people on the bus.
visual structure of various water molecules and this display provides an excellent starting point for future research on the receivership of these energies.
Could it be that we Empaths are formed by some mechanism of quantum entanglement? Are we accessing a higher awareness of the quantum state? A change in one quantum state causes an instantaneous shift in all bound systems; a quantum coupling of sorts. Masuro Emoto. President Emeritus of the International Water For Life Foundation, brought to light the power of intention with his experiments on water crystals via vibration and emotional energies. These emotional energies of intention had an amazing affect on the
As for intention, it may be an important lesson to remind oneself to not take personally the feelings we pick up on, and that we don't absorb those emotions that can make us physically unbalanced. A choice is to try to shrug it off or, if necessary and relevant, use it to help that particular individual in their life journey. Being an Empath can be a gift and a curse, although I prefer the former. With parental responsibilities and the complexities of raising well-
THE EMPATH MAGA ZINE rounded, optimistic children, empathic, intuitive abilities has its benefits; the innate 'knowing' when your offspring need that extra bit of emotional support. And as a professional in the alternative medicine field, I would be lying if I said I did not use this empathic ability in my work, however I do not announce it. I just let it be and pass it on when something comes up which I feel may assist my client. Lessons I have learned as an Empath: the more you quiet yourself, give attention, and follow through, the more powerful your intuition becomes. This is a valuable lesson as the moment you doubt, the feeling moves away and you are left with confusion and you will loose the
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moment, wondering was that your ego, your rational mind. Grounding oneself by standing on the bare soil and letting your energy sit at your feet, works wonders for me because, if I don't do this now and then, I can seem as if I am bouncing off the walls, like I drank way too much coffee. What really matters as an Empath is our nature, our inner potential and the power of unification and of working and living together, cohesively. Empathic, highly sensitive and intuitive people are not new phenomena; we have been around since the dawn of mankind, but it is because of the Internet that we now know we are not alone, that there
are others like us out there and every day I feel blessed that I have the potential to feel as I do.
TASIJA CRUZ Tasija Cruz is a London based, fully qualified medical herbalist providing health consultations / screenings using the art of herbal medicine tradition with current scientific knowledge. www.herbalabode.com
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Empathy & ART INTERVIEW WITH PROFESSOR SARA BENNETT By Kev Milson
The Empath's Kev Milsom spent a few hours in the beautiful Malvern Hills in Worcestershire, chatting to Professor Sara Bennett about being an Empath and how her high sensitivity manifests itself in her art.
KEVIN In just a few keywords, how would you best describe your personal experiences of empathy?
SARA Feeling instinctively when someone is in physical and / or mental pain, to the extent that it feels very real to myself.
KEVIN At what age did you begin to notice your empathic tendencies and how did they make themselves known to you?
SARA I had led a sheltered life, at the
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young age of nine though, I saw the slums of London on a train, and wept from what I was seeing. I knew about my sensitive / empathic nature from then on, however I didn't try to expand this gift, as I found it too painful to handle. At a later stage in my life, I did read a lot of psychology articles but, after reading them, I somehow felt that I was a bit unhinged - some abilities felt like I may never be able to be truly ‘me.’ It was scary.
KEVIN Within your own life experiences, how would you categorise the most positive and negative elements of being empathic?
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SARA The most positive aspect of empathy is the wonderful feeling that I can be a genuine help and a comfort to someone else on this planet. The worst aspect is becoming over-emotional in a public place and not being self controlled. I don't have many tools to protect myself against negative effects - although I would say the two major tools that I do tend to utilise in such situations are walking in nature and the act of being involved in a creative project. My art allows me to express my inner feelings and to share my ideas with the world. I enjoy using my creativity to help others also. For a while I worked at Sight Concern, a local charity that supports blind and partially sighted adults to assist them in leading independent and fulfilling lives, and currently I use my art by painting murals in a dementia unit of a local care home.
KEVIN In terms of creative expression, have your empathic abilities been of use, especially in terms of inspirational input?
SARA Sometimes, when working on a personal piece of art for someone else, I can think of something that is special to the person I am painting. For instance, I’ll concentrate and start seeing images of swans in THE– EMPATH.COM
my head and I’ll say to them,‘you have a fascination for swans?’ They’ll say yes and wonder where that came from; usually telling me more about their fascination and why it is important to them. Often, this conversation will trigger an emotion within me, like ‘hope’, or ‘serendipity.’ Sometimes specific quotes come into my mind, such as Biblical poetry, or perhaps something from another religion / philosophy such as Sufism. This creates further emotive, inspirational feelings within me. Or perhaps I will paint a picture of someone and include a random object, such as a flower and then I’ll discover that this particular type of flower holds beautiful memories for that person, or that it is their absolute favourite variety. People often ask me how I seem to know these things, but it is always simply an inner feeling, or intuition. I confess it can feel quite ‘weird’ at times. Recently, I embarked on painting a series of trees, fifteen in total from the local landscape of the Malvern Hills in Worcestershire, England, where I live. I never take photographs of anything I paint, it all derives purely from my mind and my emotional memories of that ‘sharing’ - myself seated beneath the tree and sharing in its energies and beauty. In my series of paintings, I’m expressing that connection to each tree through my art. I have also revelled in helping my children to explore art and enjoyed building a deeper connection with them, to help them through difficult periods by using creative selfexpression as a valuable healing tool. My art is very important
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THE EMPATH MAGA ZINE to me and hopefully to others also. I place it around Malvern in different places, in the hope that it may inspire people. There is a lot of my work on show throughout the summer months in the Blue Bird Cafe, in Malvern and also at the Colewall Stores Cafe.
KEVIN How have your empathic abilities affected your personal pathways relating to faith and belief?
SARA It’s made me very open towards understanding other people’s philosophies and cultures. I like this. Initially I focused upon creation myths, or fairy / legend stories, my creative imagination often placing me as a character in them - usually a helper, or being part of a village hearing a story with a moralistic tale. I’m drawn towards all Arab, Asian and Celtic philosophies, especially those involving wise women and female energies. Aboriginal culture too. I am drawn towards the concept of Dreamtime. I belong to a local unifaith church at the Wheel of Life Centre in Malvern, which embraces a multitude of different ideas and philosophies. Our services are simple and loving, and this is something that I draw great pleasure from. Combining ideas and thoughts is a wonderful thing and a great learning tool. Throughout my life I have discovered enrichment from this exploration and feel that it has made me less dogmatic in my personal philosophies.
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KEVIN What advice would you give to others with empathic abilities, especially those who might be finding them difficult, or overpowering, to work with, or accept?
SARA Find another person, perhaps a lover or simply a companion, to share your experiences with. However, I would recommend keeping a private corner of yourself always, somewhere you can retreat to. A unique place that is very special to yourself. Protect it and retreat into it when life becomes extra tough. Use your creative gifts for the fullest self-expression. Never be afraid to express yourself.
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Empathy & Poetry EDDIE THE EMPATH BY: C.E. RANDALL Eddie was an ordinary boy, or so he thought. 'Til he realized that he, in fact, was not. His hair was curly and wild, just like his eyes, Tears weigh heavily on his lashes when he cries. You see, Eddie feels things differently from everyone else, He can feel the energies and moods of others, not just within himself. He learned the word "empath" in a new book at school, Empathy is a unique trait and can be used as a tool. Eddie feels deeply, the good and the bad, He cannot bear to see anyone mad or sad. It hurts his big heart to see anyone in pain, A tear so deep he cannot explain. His compassion lends to comforting others, He'll sit with you under his umbrella covers. In your celebration he'll light up with genuine joy, He'll share half his lunch and a brand new toy. Loud noises distract him and cause commotions, He gravitates towards nature to recharge his emotions. Absorbing others' emotions sometimes makes him tired, But slowly he's learning that's just the way he's wired. If his feelings bottle up, they almost blow, Once he decompresses, he's good to go. You'll want to keep Eddie around till the end, Because his empathy makes him such a good friend. It's a tool he uses, as if it were math, And if YOU share Eddie's traits, you too, my friend, are an empath. Š C. E. Randall E: cary_e_randall@yahoo.com T: @CaryERandall
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UNLEASHED By Bernadette Perez
THE SENSITIVE WIND By David Watt The wind aspires to Heaven, and is met By ray of light as greeting on its way, And having reached that goal of bluest sky Wind utters “Here I am on target, yet, I see from wondrous vantage, on display The trees beneath require me down to fly Upon their autumn branches as a friend: My breath to waiting leaves I must attend, And work such wonders selflessly to bare Limbs wooden, holding promise close within, Enabling season’s cycle sigh “Begin!” As seasons come and go, we also share Dependence on life’s breezes, as a tree Bends sensitive to change - so you and me! © David Watt E: maridav@wattfor.net
It is time to let go An empath of my health This is me as when I first wake Slightly dizzy Foggy Body snatchers in transit Sifting through me Reinventing who I am My emotions travel well I was made for better things Shifting symptoms I fear of me Imagine magical Think of what you might be missing An everlasting happiness Unknown world of mystery Exclusively puzzled Shrouded as strange Believe in being Possibilities fathom Dreams become reality Goals are achieved Something is still missing Hidden Waiting to come out Thy soul is sacred Concealed from view In spiritual confidence I have faith My first instincts are relics Set in my own ways Embedded Surviving a period of time I travel unprepared Drifting aimlessly With a greater depth of process I am perceived festive Wired naturally awkward Sensitively positive Dormant to become © Bernadette Perez E: bpburritos@aol.com
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DREAMING OF CUPCAKES: A FOOD ADDICT’S SHAMANIC JOURNEY INTO HEALING By Jennifer Engrácio Dreaming of Cupcakes follows a woman’s yearlong journey to heal a lifelong addiction to food, utilizing the shamanic medicine traditions she was trained in, her inner resources, and her community of support.
ISBN: 978-1504372619
www.the-empath.com/home/contributors-books
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THE EMPATH MAGA ZINE
ISSUE three
Out Winter 2017
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