The Explorer Islamabad: Journal of Social Sciences ISSN: 2411-0132(E), 2411-5487(P) Vol-1, Issue (11):398-408 www.theexplorerpak.org
DATING CULTURE IN PAKISTANI SOCIETY AND ITS ADVERSE EFFECTS UPON THE ADOLESCENTS, IN THE PERSPECTIVE OF PREVALENT TECHNOLOGY AND INNOVATIONS Jamil Ahmed Sheikh, Syeda Samar Shahid Bokhari, Shuaib Farooq Corresponding Author: Syeda Samar Shahid Bokhari samar.bokhari@uow.edu.pk
Abstract: The research has been specifically conducted in order to measure the limits to which the adolescents have immersed into this adopted culture – Dating Culture. Pakistani youth has been intrigued into dating culture, the adverse effects of which cannot be negated at any level or stage. They have been mimicking the western style of living without knowing how much they have become immoral in impersonating the life style - not allowed at all in our religion. Through quantitative study and focused group discussions it has been tried to assess as to what extent the minds of our youth have been affected, the existing family patterns, what are the dragging factors, what could be the vices unfolded, which age group is more engaged, what could be the legal aspects of such practices etc. The existing scenario of innovation and technology brought the dark clouds of change, was this change inevitable, unstoppable? Hence with focused group discussions with a total of 50 participants and with a questionnaire, data has been collected, of 150 respondents in 2015. Over the year collected data showed great risks of teen violence and perpetration explicitly a result of intimacy acquired through “dating”.
Key Words: Dating Culture, youth, intimacy, technology, innovation, teen violence. INTRODUCTION Our world stepping into the quagmire of new technology has brought with it several questions of adolescent fertility to mingling into it unscrupulously. These questions are of the greatest concern to the researchers, family heads and educators who anticipate ultimate material and immaterial success of the youth. The effects of change were evident for long on the urbanization of the Pakistani society, but the rural settings of family patterns are also seen prone to its charming mazes. The change in normal cultural pattern is acceptable, but if it is bringing certain violence it is utterly not acceptable whatever the conditions prevalent are. Dating culture has shown its vices globally from where it erupted first. From simple intimacy to its worst form of sexual violence. The study shows it disrupts the life of the perpetrators and the affected, physically, mentally and psychologically. Consequences of dating violence include decreased mental and physical health and lower life satisfaction (Banyard and Cross 2008). Teen
dating violence impacts the psychological wellbeing of youth (Black, Tolma, Callahan, Saunders, & Weisz, 2007), with youth who are victims more likely to experience depression and suicidal behaviors than non-victims (Vézine & Hérbert, 2007). Additionally, longitudinal studies have identified long-term consequences of intimate partner violence to include depression, binge eating, substance abuse, and antisocial behavior. Unfortunately Pakistani Society is on the verge of such moral bankruptcy. It can be seriously foreseen, by impacted study of global victimization in dating cultures, that our society is just a step short of or already head long into such violence. Limited research of all factions of adolescents from School to University level has made it evident that involvement of youth into dating has become a habitual act. Un-entangling themselves after experiencing two or three dating, they are unable to come out. Rather the more they try the less resilient they are. The state has reached to its alarming stage, which needs to be remedied while still benign.
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In some of the societies, the world over and the most effected, there are certain programs introduced despite such a hopeless situation. But the efficacy of such programs is either not modulated or the target study has loopholes in it. This is complicated by the fact that school-based prevention programs vary considerably in content, scope, and quality, and often demonstrate small changes in targeted outcomes, or no changes at all (Espelage, 2012; Espelage, Holt, & Isaia, 2007; Espelage & Low, 2013). While in 21st century the youth with “foster care” ignorant of the “right values” which produce the “right results” practically they strive for. Everyone wants to reach at the pinnacle of happiness, spending time in luxurious enjoyments – the extreme desire leads to the thinking serialization that accepting the prevalent norms is the only possible way to achieve what they desire for. In this struggle they find themselves more miserable ultimately, and more so, pathetically not knowing the exact reasons why. This is expressly spot-on in the contemporary dating civilizations. The term “dating” affords varied definitions with respect to various opinions. In its simplest form it is “an agreed meeting of two opposite sexes, at a specific place for a specific time”. Most commonly it is: “an appointment for a specified time; especially a social engagement between two persons of opposite sex” (Webster’s Seventh New Collegiate Diction). Dating, followed by courtship, is supposed to lead to a happy marriage. But marriage cannot be happy if it is not built on the RIGHT FOUNDATION (Pack 2007). Hence the whole social structure comes crashing down with only one word i.e. “dating”. The social impacts of close intimacy of male and female in the process of persistent dating have been drastically felt and cogitated over. The concern is not related to Pakistani society only but the implications are sensed the world-over. Historical Background and Cultural Changes The cultural changes are inevitable, as the world being a global village. The rise in population and the easy cross border notions have made our study more universal than restricted to one region of Asia. Correspondingly, when interacting populations really do become large, then the nature of the prevalent culture change processes will also tend
to change, as selection rather than drift becomes a more powerful force. This change with the advantages has some deeply damaging issues too. What was once a pet – set of social norms have now become a thing of the past. Families were united with some socio-moral codes. The elders respected and the Younger protected formula worked as bonding agent for all the family systems. Out of this formula, successful marriages used to emerge with entailed successful up-bringing of the off-springs. The ideas have changed now David C Pack says in his Dating and Courtship that many couples do not have any idea that a successful marriage depends upon the love and affection rather than the affiliation got during dating. These people actually do not know how they should select the right life partner (Pack 2007). The same formula suggested the right from the wrong to the adolescents leading to lasting relations. Nowadays, family patterns advocate the emancipation of youth in all respects, pushing them to moral wreck. Once the family touch is lost, the youngsters don’t feel any obligation towards their elders or the family as whole. They have been raised as self-centered lot, insensitive to the needs of others in their social structure, in which they themselves survive. With the socio-cultural changes, the changes in the moralities have also been impressionably observed. Humans have reverted to the animal behavior. “Dating”, if to be seen from Human Discretional Level, is animal behavior. Male and females attracted towards each other, out of habitual or other reasons, and changing partners one after the other, is out of Human Discretional Level. Extensive study has reflected emotions do belong to animals too but no sense of right and wrong. The process of dating and attracting the other sex is very common in animals. Though this trait is similarly found in Humans and animals alike, there is a limitation of Discretion. “It is very difficult to notice the remarkable conduct when they are with family, or with their groups, or when there is a new born in the family, a frisky communication, the pairing off of with a relative.” (Poole 1998, pp. 90–91). Humans can
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exercise mental discretions and avoid such actions particularly of animal like. As it is truly understandable, animals don’t suffer after such activities but man suffers, and the effects are sometimes long lasting. The researchers claim it a moral depravity closer to the “lower animals”. Dating Culture in Global Perspective One of the vices of Dating Culture is the aspect of “Loneliness”. One partner being deserted after dating / courtship suffers the loneliness; even getting married afterwards does not cover up the bitter facades of life. The results are fatherless or incomplete families with bewildered adolescents. Youth brought up in single parent families are more tended towards crimes and other psychological issues. In Sweden 66% of children are of obscure fathers, a tragedy in humanity viewpoint. Dreadful impacts of dating culture in most of the Academic institutes of USA:
According to a survey in U.S adolescents aged 14 years to 20 years have been victimized during the dating process and same numbers of adolescents have been charged of committing relationship violence themselves. Throughout U.S.A from 9th to 12th grade almost 12% of girls have been physically violated when they did not wish to. Before reaching the age of 25 almost 42% of the ladies have been rapped at round about the age of 18 years. The females in U.S.A. report attempted sexual assault before they enter college; the number goes up to 19%. Most of them are victims of the person they actually have friendship with. Violent dating behavior is reported by 43% of the college women, among them 22% is actually physically abused. USA faces other worst implications of dating culture: According to a report 43% of children in USA are fatherless. Around 90% are homeless and runaway The rapists are mostly fatherless with frustration of being neglected.
Round about 71% of pregnant adolescent ladies don’t have father, according to a press release of U.S department of Health and Human Services, March 26, 1999. According to US. Department of Health and Human Service Census 63% of youngsters who commit suicide are fatherless. US Center of Disease Control report 85% of the youngsters who show psychological disorders are from unstable single parent homes. NPA USA reports 71% of school leaving students are from fatherless homes. Rainbow for all God’s Children an NGO in USA report 75% of young patients in chemical abuse centers are from fatherless homes. US department of Justice in a special report Sept 1988, report 70% of the young criminals don’t have fathers. Fulton County Georgia Jail populations, Texas department of Corrections 1992 report 85% of youngsters are from those families where there are obscure fathers. A stable society can only be built with stable families. This is very true if sound social structure of past is taken into account. Broken family structure has put our individual cultural and social norms into jeopardy. Dating Culture and Enjoins of Islam Dating today is partially considered as precursor to the marriage. Male – female meetings separately, are considered to be more appropriate for getting better understanding of each other before bound in marital strings. Though the matter is inverse also to some greater percentage. For Islam such lone meetings of the male and female are strictly not allowed. Some of the Islamic allusions are: Hazrat Umar (RA) related that the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, "Not one of you should meet a woman alone unless she is accompanied by a relative (mahram)" (Bukhari/Muslim).
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The Prophet Mohammad (May peace and endowments be upon him) has said, "No man ought to be separated from everyone else, with a lady but when there is a mahram with her" (Sahih Muslim), ("Reading Islam"). This is to avoid any pre-marriage intimate interaction between both the dating partners. In some of the Quranic verses also it is clearly mentioned: unmarried men and ladies ought to keep up their chastity until marriage. (5: 5, 23: 5-7, 24: 3-0-31, 70: 29331). The Quran says, “Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them. And Allah is acquainted with all that they do. And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof” (Surah AlNoor 30-31). This verse from the Quran is related to self-guard and evidently to safe-guard the females from the prevailing vices of the society. Dating Culture Pervading in Pakistani Society Pakistan being an Islamic Country should have a culture upon the directions of Allah by the source of Quran and Hadiths of Prophet Mohammad (SAW). But what is observed is utterly on the opposite side. In today's reality, association between the genders can't maintain a strategic distance constantly, yet notwithstanding when two inverse sexes are in educational surroundings they should be together, it is their obligation to observe Islamic decisions on humble collaboration. It is alright to communicate in an open setting for essential reasons, for example, a school venture. In the event that the expectations of both the man and lady are unadulterated, no one can have a "haram" (significance unlawful or illegal as per Islam) relationship. The diversion from Islam can cause serious implications. E.g. Victimization or Violence. “Adolescents spend a significant amount of time with their peers in school and in their neighborhoods. Although the majority of
relationships with peers provide positive social experiences, for some youth, some relationships may also involve victimization” (Espelage, Low, & De La Rue, 2012). “Many assaults experienced by youth happen within interpersonal relationships, including in friendships and with romantic partners, with one in every four assaults committed by youth occurring in a domestic relationship” (i.e., family members, intimate partners; Snyder & McCurley, 2008). “Abuse in dating relationships is an all too frequent occurrence, with 1 in 10 teenage relationships involving violence”. Contrary to Islam on the subject “Dating”, Pakistan is on fast track of being engulfed completely by it. Pakistan basically is a territory of Muslims; most of them are white collared. The middle class does look down upon this aspect of the society but unfortunately they are the most being involved. As no other open opportunity available to girls and boys they take it by both hands and make it the only source of social enjoyment. Most of the regions are more liberal in the attitude towards dating, like Lahore, Karachi, and Islamabad. But in the western parts like KPK and Baluchistan there is austerity about it. As is predicted, the most liberal areas like Punjab suffer the after effects of dating. According to the Statistics Bureau of Pakistan, there are total 8,806 cases of rape registered out of 10,703. In Gilgit-Baltistan 22 cases were registered and in Baluchistan some 86 came to the surface, in Islamabad 295 rapes cases came up and in KPK and Sindh there are 722 cases of rape reported. This number is of the reported cases and unregistered are beyond expectations. Age Brackets Involved in Dating Most of the Adolescents enter into the dating habit in their pre-high school level, and gradually the habit matures by the time they enter their university. At this age they are on a “steep learning curve”, so adopt the habits in baboonlike way. Adolescence as the ‘‘dangerous passage,’’ a reference to a vulnerability to violence that goes along with the developmental characteristics of
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the age. She notes, for example, the exaggeration of gender-specific roles, narcissism, and acceptance of mythical notions about romance as points of particular vulnerability to violence in adolescents’ heterosexual relationships. Similarly draws attention to developmental vulnerability, highlighting in particular the impact of conformity with gender-specific roles (e.g., controlling male, submissive female). For these reasons, adolescence is an especially salient time to implement violence prevention. Unfortunately like other nations, experienced already the abuses of Dating, Pakistan is also ignoring the fact that there is a hurricane of adverse social change, ready to sweep away all the protective Islamic culture with it. Youngsters if we notice them are overlooked community, and unfortunately they suffer the most from the relationship abuses. No researcher ever heeded to this age-group, though there are insinuations about the dating violence and the seriousness about the situation. At tender age of teens the impacts of violence are more than any other period of life. From 2000 to 2010 in USA the dating violence has taken a higher place in the agenda of the researchers. So, the general observation is that most of the adolescents are entrapped into the dating snare at a very tender age, when their emotions are at the peak. Morose is the fact that at this age they get the least right guideline from their families, resulting in, the involvement of all types of crimes and immoral activities that can be imagined. According to the Psychologists, if teens are guided right at the right time you have a healthy society and flourishing relationships. Dating in the Perspective of Innovation and Technology The technology revolution has brought phenomenal–deluxe inventions. The communication channels have been made so up to date that people sitting far away can do correspondence with each other, the distance of miles has been reduced to seconds. The landline was invented in the 19th century but with this
invention of cell phone, we can say century has taken fast turn in the innovation and technology. New Inventions like cell phones, tablets, and internet the soul of these devices has given birth to a new type of dating i.e. digital dating. In fact, it is not wrong to say that new technology has brought some incorrigible vices with it. The use of cell phone contributes 99% to the dating. Once the voice call now urges the dating people to meet and sit in private quarters. With the palm sized device in hand the elders of the family can never guess to who the youngster is in conversation. Whether he/she is keeping a good company or the bad, as everything has gone virtual and tangible evidences of immorality are not visible. More so, the dating culture has gone deep rooted with the introduction of these cell phones specifically and internet relatively. It is more plausible mode of communication, affordable to all from every strata of life. The student packages of calls and sms encourage the adolescent community to get in touch with the person they want to take on date. The growth of cell phone users in Pakistan is drastically on the increasing and soon it will be the biggest market of cell phones in Asia. It was supposed to decrease the distances among people but actually its constant usage is increasing the distances rather than decreasing. The usage of cell phones the youngsters can build new relationships and also retain them throughout their lives. Cell phones have given a new sense of security to the people, if they have any emergency. New technology has provided new ways of social self-actualization for the youngsters as they get access to new areas, they have convenience of reaching others, and also a fast sense of mobility. Freedom of movement, and freedom of access has liberated the busy parents to have close conversations with their children in their drawing rooms, they can have a chit chat on cell phones to ask about their children. Cell phone is something very necessary for the students of every level, as they can be in touch
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with their families easily wherever they are. He also suggests that cell phone has taken up the role of their families because it becomes their spokesperson to convey their feelings to their families easily. New invention has modernized the patterns of communication among families and friends. Australian students pin pointed the higher usage of cell phone up till 5 hours daily. They also identified the costs of such a usage in terms of money as well as emotional stress which not only damage the relationships but also have many other adverse effects. Hence the opinions vary about the use of technology, for some the glass seems to be half full and for the rest the glass is half empty. But as far as our culture is concerned new technology is posing hazards for our youth. Our whole study conducted supports the general idea of teens being spoiled due to the undue usage of new technology especially the cell phone. With the cell phone, we have another lucrative and affordable source of dating i.e. the social media like face book, whatsapp, kindle and several other. Face book, first and foremost on the list for duping and deceiving other people, as we do not sit face to face, so to improve the personality impressions lies are stuffed into the pages. No doubt everyone knows the reality, but still they don’t want to accept. Internet dating upon the social media has made it so difficult for the parents to track down the activities of their children. The matters for the youth are gone so private that they never intend to share them with their parents or any of the family members. Secrecy is always enticing for the youngsters, they enjoy being secretive but with it submerge into new hassles ever imagined. Involvement of parents in the whole process cannot be ignored at this stage. The way parents socialize children is a major "factor in the causation or prevention of crime and delinquency� A study that asked student why they had not become criminals. Many said that their parents had taught them right from wrong and had been models of hard work and honesty. The student said that their parents had taught them
important values about how to behave, and that they abided by the law become they believed in those values rather than because they feared punishment. In comparison with nonoffenders, delinquents are more likely to say that their childhood experiences with their parents were unpleasant and that they rejected the parents as models while they were young (Johnson and Medinnus 1964). So the lack of interest of parents in the proper upbringing of their children and provision of too many gadgets to tender ages have ensued the spread of dating culture as well. METHODOLOGY / RESEARCH STRATEGY Several tools have been adopted to support our research study. The scientific methodology is a system of explicit rules and procedures upon which research is based and against which claims for knowledge evaluated (Nachmias and Nachmias 1992). An elaborate study had been conducted from the base line in the schools of Wah Cantt, Taxila and Hassanabdal. Then onwards from College to the University level. One year longitudinal study disclosed certain factors to be accounted for. Regarding the dating culture focused group discussions and structural questionnaire were conducted in 2015. The data inferences particularly show the trend towards developing stages of this cultural side. The respondents were males and females a group between ages of 11-30 or over, years living in Pakistan social structure. 150 respondents were selected by using simple random sampling technique. Data were collected with the help of a well-designed interview schedule. To make our research universal we searched the reference lists of primary studies, hand searched relevant journals, and searched the Internet using Google and Google Scholar. We also contacted researchers who have published extensively in the area of teen dating violence and researchers who have received grants to implement teen dating violence prevention programs to identify studies in press or in preparation. Neither language nor date restrictions were applied to the searches
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“Data was analyzed through statistical techniques such as, univariate /descriptive, bivariate and multivariate techniques. In univariate analysis such as frequency, percentage and measures of central tendency (mean, standard deviation) were used to describe the data. In bivariate analysis, relationship among different variables was examined through applying chi-square and gamma tests.” Chi-Square Chi-square test was applied to check relationship between independent and dependent variables. 2 was found by following formula: (O - E) 2 X2 = ∑ _______ E Where: O= Values Observed E= Values Expected = sum (total) By this formula if the calculated value of chisquare was equal to or higher than the table value at 0.05 level of probability at the given degree of freedom, the relationship was statistically significant. If it is less than the table value (0.01 level of probability) it is termed as highly significant, where the calculated value is less than the table value at 0.05 level of significance. It is declared as non-significant. Using statistical software SPSS all the inferences of the research were taken. RESULTS AND DISCUSSION During the process of research we worked on some significant variables – age of the respondents, marital status, occupation, how they were first introduced for dating, how they remain in contact with the dating person, what were the reasons for dating, what time and place they thought best for dating, what do they do there, and last but not least what if they were caught. Most interesting results came up while analyzing the data.
Table. 1.1 Age of Respondents Freque Percen Valid Cumulativ
Valid
ncy
t
11-20
37
24.7
24.7
24.7
21-30
94
62.7
62.7
87.3
19
12.7
12.7
100.0
150
100.0
100.0
31 and above Total
Percent e Percent
Research indicates youths want to learn about dating and healthy relationships, and they desire learning about communication, assertiveness, and dealing with people. Hence our study and potential interview with the school/ College / university students exhibited the main part 24.7% of total are indulged in dating. Table 1.1 indicates among the students above 20 the percentage is precarious i.e. 87.3% But we found remarkably stunning figures of age 31 and above, some of them serious about selecting their marriage partner. Table. 1.2 Marital Status Freque Perce
Valid
Valid
Cumulative
ncy
nt
Percent
Percent
Single
116
77.3
77.3
77.3
Married
34
22.7
22.7
100.0
Total
150
100.0
100.0
According to Tinder, a very well know dating application now – a – days, 62% of all the users are men, of which the research claims that 30% of Tinder users surveyed are married, while another 12% are in a relationship. 54% classed themselves as single, while 3% were divorced or widowed. Tinder may also be a digital stomping ground for married men, it claims that 62% of its users are male and 38% female. The research also shows, unsurprisingly, that Tinder’s users are a relatively young crowd, with 38% aged between 16 and 24, and 45% between 25 and 34. 13% are aged 3544, 3% are 45-54 and 1% are 55-64. Same results
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we acquired, (Table: 1.2) as the married people had more tendency towards going on date. Table. 1.3 Occupation Cumul ative Freque Percen Valid
Valid
Percen
ncy
t
Percent
t
111
74.0
74.0
74.0
20
13.3
13.3
87.3
employee
19
12.7
12.7
100.0
Total
150
100.0
100.0
Student unemploye d
fellow?” the response was: “At first it started as a joke at work. One of my coworkers had gone for it, and she had met this guy, and it was going great for her. So a couple of us just did it as well, and we were messing around with it and everything, but I ended up sticking to it, and it worked out for me.” As we go through the table 1.4, the connecting person is often a friend, who has already been in the same situation, drags his/her friend into it too.
Employed people are more likely to have dating perspectives than the unemployed, as dating also involves money. Students depend upon their pocket money or seek help from other friends to keep the dating process going on smoothly without hurting their ego. Table 1.3 strengthens the same. But for the most of the unemployed job hunting can lead to dating, with fruitful results. Students find dating an enjoyable time pass, and the most prevailing aptitude for the spread of dating culture. One of the question in our questionnaire was “how you were introduced to your dating Table. 1.4 Introduced through Frequency
Percent
Valid Percent
Cumulative Percent
Valid Introduced by Friend
29
19.3
19.3
19.3
Wrong Number
12
8.0
8.0
27.3
through internet (i.e. facebook)
20
13.3
13.3
40.7
at school/college/university
39
26.0
26.0
66.7
22
14.7
14.7
81.3
Neighborhood
12
8.0
8.0
89.3
Markets (Shopping Mall)
2
1.3
1.3
90.7
Cousins (Family members)
9
6.0
6.0
96.7
outside of school/college/university stop
405
Trips/Marriage/ceremony
1
.7
.7
97.3
Any Other
4
2.7
2.7
100.0
150
100.0
100.0
Total
Table: 1.5 What do you do there? Count Reasons for Dating For Time
For
Entertainme to fulfill Sexual to jealous
Pass
Marriage
nt
Desire
others
Any Other Total
What do you do
Romance
16
14
9
13
1
5
58
there?
Chit chat
10
12
9
8
2
2
43
Enjoy Food
9
2
3
1
4
3
22
Long Drive
2
3
2
4
6
3
20
Any Other
0
3
1
0
0
3
7
37
34
24
26
13
16
150
Total
Chi- square= 42.131
df= 20 sig= .003**
**= Highly Significant Dr. Greg Smalley and Michael Smalley, M.A. Smalley Relationship Center in his eight reason of dating says: “A person can use dating as a process of filtering out or narrowing the field of eligible partners down to a specific few and eventually to one person who will be his mate for a lifetime. Dating can help couples acquire the needed knowledge and skills for a successful marriage. For example, dating helps develop a better understanding of each other's attitudes and behaviors, how to get along, and can increase your ability to discuss and solve relational problems. “Hence factor of marriage also remains as focal point of dating for both boys and girls. In our dating system the age bracket starts with 11 and ends with 31 or above people, indulged in dating. Their objectives of this social trend might be very different but we found people indulge in dating as just time pass. They are not seriously involved in each other but perhaps look for another medium for their inner catharsis. It depicts the downward slope of social morality.
Among all the 150 participants we found a big ratio of the dating lovers, 58% who thought dating was only meant to do romance. Dating violence is the occurrence of physically, sexually, and/or psychologically violent episodes in the intimate interpersonal relationship. Dating violence as the “perpetration or threat of an act of violence by at least one member of an unmarried couple within the context of dating or courtship” (p. 228). Many believe that adolescent development and the volatile relationships associated with the teen years increase the risk of violence (O’Keefe, 2005). Research indicates youths want to learn about dating and healthy relationships, and they desire learning about communication, assertiveness, and dealing with people. Hence our study and potential interview with the school/ College / university students also exhibited the main part 47% of total are indulged in dating. (Table 1.6)
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Chi-Square= 17.464
df= 10 Sig= .065**
**=Highly Significant CONCLUSION If we want to have our society as it is, that we should have fun, then we have lost every right to complain. It is our life, our created society but the way things are, we can’t blame society in general Suitable Time for Dating * Occupation Cross tabulation Count Occupation unem Stud ploye empl ent d
oyee Total
Suitable During Time
School/College/U 39
for
niversity Time
Dating
At evening: Walk Time Office Timing
5
47
2
3
30
8
6
4
18
12
5
3
20
In Holidays
17
1
2
20
Any Other
10
3
2
15
19
150
Trips/Ceremonies /Shopping
Total
25
3
111 20
as we are the contributors to it in particular. So, we should ask ourselves what we want, how we want to shape away our social structure. Realizing the same technology that is supposed to bring us closer is in fact taking us far apart. We claim to be the best buddies, by connecting to each other, but the methods are superficial, love is mere flirt and this concept of self-deception or perhaps the self-denial has caused the spread of dating culture. Family disputes drift the adolescents away from their loving families. Parents should avoid such conflicts in front of their children. There should be counseling of every family from top to bottom, so that they can understand the threat in the
society, spreading like an incurable cancer. I.e. dating the opposite sex. The simple dating turn into intimacy and intimacy turn into violation of Islamic values in pre-marital relationships. Our media is also blamed for promoting illegal relations among adolescents. The eye-catching advertisement, slogans, banners, student packages of sms bundles and voice calls. Internet upon smart phones, the incessant in touch with the dating personnel. Electronic media, family incompetence to handle the children, being careless about the whereabouts of the children. Where this lead to would – is a thought provoking issue. Up-rooting of this culture seems impossible now. But a little more education to our adolescents and their parents can lead to safety to some extent. REFERENCES Poole J. 1998. An exploration of a commonality between ourselves and elephants. 90-91. Banyard VL, Cross C 2008 Violence Against Women Doi;14(9):998-1013.
Sep.
Johanne Vézina and Martine Hébert Trauma 2007 Violence Abuse; 8; 33 Lisa D. L. R, Joshua R. P, Dorothy L. Espelage, T. D. 2014 Pigott Campbell Systematic Reviews :7 Snyder, H. N. and McCurley, C 2008. Domestic assaults by juvenile offenders. NCJ 219180. Washington, DC: US Department of Justice, Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention Mulford, C. and Giordano, P. C 2008 Teen dating violence: A closer look at adolescent romantic relationships. NCJ 224089. Washington, DC: US Department of Justice, National Institute of Justice.
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Nachmias, Chava Frankfort and David Nachmias 1996 Research Methods in the Social Sciences. 5th ed. USA. St. Martin's Press. Johnson, Ronald C., and Gene R. Medinnus. 1964 Child Psychology Behavior And Development. American Behaviora l Scientist 8(3): 30-30. Jaffe, Peter G., Marlies Sudermann, Deborah Reitzel, and Steve M. Killip 1992 "An evaluation of a secondary school primary prevention program on violence in intimate relationships." Violence and victims 7, no. 2 (): 129-146. Pack, David C. 2007 Dating and Courtship, God’s Way. Publication Date: Dec-1-2015 © 2015“The Explorer Islamabad” Journal of Social Sciences-Pakistan
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