GYMS

BY VICTORIA PERRIE

I grew up in community gyms

Sitting on basketball lined floors

Bannock on paper plates cold butter jam with a plastic knife someone pass me moose meat stew potato salad dinner roll powder covered donuts from the shell gas station next door

Sage smoke billows learning songs for ceremony dancing powwow for ourselves no contests

Aunties singing knee slapping laughter in the kitchen skirts hand sewn down to the floor little stitch rip in the hem

I’m from here

Sneaking cigarettes outside

When moms weren’t looking quick let’s get across the road see how far we can go before they notice Pink church in the hood running around outside late at night unafraid when my best friend told me she wanted to kill herself for the first time

These echoing gyms

Singing loud and holding siblings’ hands

Learning to jingle and hoop dance nighttime north end main street burger king feast

Sound of the drum I carried reverberating through walls hearing worship on Sundays

Now support my best friends back leaning on the church begging money outside on the street

The gyms haven’t changed, but we have

Same gym native kids yelling elders telling stories making a medicine pouch for ceremony here this is how you gut the seal

Now sewing mitts in the back sheriff calls the docket comes up sits down sentenced to three years s.343 orders s.109 and s.491 no more hunting hides teaching youth making drums same gym different hours

She stands the line I sit the desk

Gym walls whisper

No one lifted hoops hard gallery chairs discomposure as she walks to the front RCMP watching hey you forgot to take her cuffs off shackled shuffle to the defense table

Sits down beside me looks up big eyes no life cuts on her finger’s wrists arms face doesn’t recognize me don’t you remember the time we talked about jumping off that 20-storey building together but they made you suck a guy off for a roach instead