Lifestyle

Is it Time to Ditch the New Year’s Resolutions?

REBECCA DE SÁ | CONTENT WRITER

Even though the pandemic is far from over, it is clear to see that people are a lot more hopeful for the possibilities of what this new year will bring. Anyone on TikTok will have seen the countless videos of people claiming that 2022 is going to be the year where positive self-talk, balance, and acceptance is brought in. A good place to start with this holistic, healthy lifestyle would be in reevaluating the way we set goals for the new year. Year in and year out, people resort to the same practice of setting themselves overly ambitious, unmeasurable resolutions that they will most likely ditch come March. Statistics from ‘YouGov’ state that 22% of women and 15% of men did not keep any of their resolutions in 2021. There is no wonder why the success rate of resolutions is so grim when, for many, resolutions are a proven way to induce stress and anxiety. In often being overly ambitious, these goals can create a sense of guilt when a person does not complete them. So, what is the alternative? Well, if positive selftalk is something that is being brought into 2022, then setting actionable goals instead of resolutions would be a safe bet. Breaking down statements like: ‘in 2022 I am going to lose weight’ into a stepby-step process for how that will be achieved is a far more healthy way of creating long-term habits and lifestyle changes. For example, if a person’s goal for 2022 is to learn a new language, they need to come up with a plan for how they are proposing to do this. They should start by choosing the language they want to learn, identifying the key areas of language learning and coming up with tasks and activities that they can incorporate into their daily life that will help them practice the language. A person that takes this approach will stand a much better chance of achieving their goal and creating a longterm habit. Goal setters must also learn to anticipate failures. Setting the goal to practice Spanish for 4 hours every day might be doable for the first few weeks, but it is not sustainable over a long period. Instead, set small goals every day that are realistic. Additionally, be prepared for different hurdles along the way. Preparing for problems and planning how to overcome them will be vital in ensuring that goals are achieved this year. All in all, 2022 brings with it the prospect of selfimprovement and new beginnings. Starting the year off with a healthy attitude towards goals and/ or resolutions will set a person in good stead for the next 12 months. Dream big but remember that the little wins are sometimes the most impactful.

Source: Pixabay

Resetting for 2022

ANNA MORENO | CONTENT WRITER

Many of us have hopes and dreams for the coming year. No matter how many goals we hope to achieve, or how many resolutions we hope to try, it can be helpful to practice some of these tasks to reset for the new year. Resetting for a new year can be beneficial as a way of moving forward and increasing your productivity in the months ahead. It can also benefit your mental health as you enter the new year.

Tidy your space A new year often means being faced with new tasks. Tidying space can reduce clutter and stress, and it can also be very motivational to sit down at a nice clean desk when completing tasks. It can also be a suitable time to consider changing some space layouts, such as rearranging some items in a bedroom. This may provide fresh inspiration and a new outlook on life. Everyone has closets that are full of clothes they no longer wear. Consider going through these items and selling some online to earn some money or donate some to charity. Tidying spaces can be very therapeutic, especially when approaching it as a process of disposing last year’s worries and establishing a brand-new start.

Take time to reflect January can be a very overwhelming month to keep up with all the changes that might be part of the new year. Take a moment to sit down and think back on the year behind us. Ask: what was achieved last year? What can we achieve this year? Think back on what went well in 2021 and what to improve on in 2022. However, remember to watch out for experiencing pressure. Be reasonable with goals set. Take an evening off for self-care Resetting for the new year is not just about planning goals, re-organising life, or writing and completing countless to-do lists to feel a sense of achievement. Sometimes a reset means taking some time away to reset both the mind and body. 2021 was a challenging year to get through, so run a bath, light some candles, and play some music to unwind and have a well-deserved pamper session. Practice gratitude Have a moment to be thankful for the people in your life, and all the good moments with them. Sometimes life can be daunting, and the coming of a new year can be especially stressful as many changes can occur in life. Taking a moment to be thankful reminds us about the good things in life and keeps spirits high.

Source: MargeSullyCo

The Importance of Positive Self-Talk

MAHEEN SHARIFF | CONTENT WRITER

How do you speak to yourself? It sounds like a stupid question, doesn’t it? Who talks to themselves? Do we all wonder around aimlessly all day speaking with non-existent people about non-existent things? Of course not. Well, perhaps some do. This is a no judgement space. This isn’t what the concept of positive self-talk means, though. Positive self-talk refers to the narrative we have in our heads about ourselves. It is the way we speak to ourselves internally, the language we use and the way we use it when going about our everyday lives. It impacts everything, from our self-esteem to our optimism skills, to even the way we converse with others. The word skill is used here because optimism is in fact a skill. Unfortunately, nobody is born with a glass half full mentality. It is a skill that has to be developed and nurtured, until we are able to accept the negative for what it is but look at life, and in turn ourselves, optimistically. If you find this difficult, here is some advice that may help. Be your own bestie A classic analogy that has helped so many individuals with this is that; imagine, when speaking to yourself, you are your best friend or a loved one. Would you ever let them say anything negative about themselves? When an upset friend or loved one speaks badly of themselves, it can feel heart-breaking and instantly, we turn to comfort them. Yet when it comes to ourselves, our first instinct is to criticize. So, the next time a critical thought comes to mind, perhaps pretend to be someone else that you love. Slowly but surely, the process to love yourself the way you do others becomes easier. Get naked Arguably, this one is not for everyone, especially if you happen to have a very nosey neighbour. However, negative feelings about our bodies are something everyone deals with in varying levels. If you experience this, you are not alone. The biggest piece of advice for this, is to quite literally get naked, even if it is for 10 minutes a day. Being nude is empowering, taking ownership of your body and spending just 10 minutes a day walking around your bedroom naked can do wonders for your self-esteem. It forces comfortability with our bodies, which is something so many young people with body image concerns face. Doing this consistently can allow the feeling of empowerment and confidence, bringing you one step closer to self-love. Shower yourself in compliments Society has brainwashed young people to have lower self-esteems. When an individual posts more than one selfie in a row on Instagram, they are vain. When they never post their face, they are insecure. As young people, it is up to us to break and ultimately destroy this narrative that to compliment yourself is a negative thing. Every morning, tell yourself three things you like about yourself. This can be done while brushing your teeth or making a morning coffee. They do not necessarily have to be physical features. If you smashed an essay recently, congratulate yourself! If you like your outfit that day, tell yourself you look nice. In baby steps, we can not only collectively eliminate the need for self-deprecations and replace it with showing ourselves kindness. To conclude, an important message to be said here is that this way of thinking does not happen overnight. We cannot control all of our thoughts, nor can we control all the information we receive. However, we can control how we react. One negative thought can be counteracted with twenty positive ones; if we have the motivation to do it. The way we speak to ourselves is so important and telling yourself something enough times will eventually make you believe it, let’s use this to our advantage and learn to love ourselves the way we deserve. So, I ask you again, how do you speak to yourself?

Having Sex with Yourself Before Having Sex with a Partner: A Student Sex Guide

CYANN FIELDING | LIFESTYLE EDITOR

When searching ‘sex at university’ into Google, a myriad of responses come up. The classic ‘sex at uni?’ thread on The Student Room with multiple confusing responses, followed by articles along the themes of ‘does everyone have sex at university?’, ‘things you need to know about sex at university’, ‘be prepared for university to change everything you know about sex’, ‘British students and sex’ and ‘The Unis with students having the most sex’. SEX SEX SEX. That is the buzz word here. Other than the obvious freedom available to students when venturing off to university, to have sex openly and freely, the above titles all incite the reader to have some anxiety. A deeper look at these titles reveals pressure to perform sexual acts in a certain way, male orientated language and a certain judgement around sex. Students approaching university have a million and one questions about sex, ideas of what it will be like, expectations and desires. These articles, in some long roundabout way, try to cover all of that. But they are all unrealistic. We cannot define ‘sex’ in one way in a university setting. And unfortunately, sex continues to have very different connotations for each gender, and for each person. With the typical labels of ‘slut’, ‘slag’, ‘sleeps around’ being the most common for women, and ‘stud’, ‘man whore’ and ‘f*** boy’ being the most common labels for men, society now fears sex in the way they wish to, at the cost of being labelled in this way. The way an individual chooses to sexualise themselves and how they carry themselves when it comes to intercourse is the truth, not labels or the opinion of that boy that told his housemates that ‘that girl is psycho’ for wanting differently to what he wanted.

Source: The Mews Practice

So, why care? Why do we put pressure on ourselves to avoid said labels? Or even worry about them? Have sex for yourself, is the answer. When you have sex for yourself, with no regard to how people what judgement people make, is when an individual is fully sexually liberated. They know they truth of their sexual self. Vanilla, dominant, bunny, submissive, someone who likes one-night stands, casual hook ups, regular hook ups, booty calls, having a relationship, and so on. Whatever an individual prefers does not cause them or who they chose to sleep with to fit into one label more than another. University sex admittedly breaks boundaries. For a good reason. Students need to find themselves in this transitional stage of their life and what they like. However, an individual goes about discovering their sexual preferences does not matter. Do not have sex for the sake of it, because it feels like the other person wants it, or because everyone else is doing it. Be true to yourself and be in control. This involves conversations, not hiding preferences, speaking up when different things are wanted. With control comes comfort and an equal share of giving and taking. Have sex for yourself because you want to, and do not be afraid to explore. Be comfortable with listening, sharing, experiencing, and trying. Do not be afraid of sex or the misconceptions surrounded by sex at university. Everyone’s sex story is different. After all, it is a natural part of life. So, go sex yourself, stay safe and have fun. That is truly what sex at university is about.